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Transcript

Challenges and Pressure · Infinitely Precious

• 0:00
  James: Welcome to the Infinitely Precious podcast produced by Infinitely Precious LLC. I'm James Henry, and I'll be your host today. As you can tell, if you're a regular listener, the intro and the podcast itself is going to be a little bit different today. I'm on the road unexpectedly for a family need, and I even missed one of our podcast drops because I didn't have the opportunity to record. So what I felt like talking about today is something that I've been trying to work with this week, and that is how do we deal with the things that we struggle with, the things that we carry, the pain of others, especially when we're in a place where we are called upon to help others in those moments.
• 1:01
  How how do we learn to stay in those moments, to stay with those moments, to, not run away. This week, I had a my father was, put into the intensive care unit, and it was kind of it's been kind of up and down this week, and as it's been that kind of a week, and I have been his sort of advocate and spokesperson, It has been my job to sort of gather what was going on, understand what all of the medical practitioners were talking about, and make sure that dad got what he needed while he was there. You know, obviously, the medical people were, doing the all of the important things, but I just tried to make sure that they didn't overlook his own personal needs and the way things were going for for him. And it was also my job to communicate to my family exactly what was going on. I was happy to do it.
• 2:21
  Daddy asked me to do that thing. But there were moments, as there are in any time where in a stressful situation, there are times when it can overwhelm us. And you can't be clinical when you're dealing with someone as close to you. If you have a good relationship like I do with my father, it's hard to just be in any way objective. I can already say upfront, I'm subjective about dad, and I'm subjective about him getting the best care, and because of that, I had to constantly find myself stepping back and saying, all right, now that I have that information, when dad was able to be communicative, and that was several times throughout the week, including today, to ask him what he wanted, but then not to run away from the feelings, particularly in the moments when, you know, the emotions would well up and in the midst of the uncertainty of what the prognosis might be.
• 3:36
  How do you hang in there in those moments? Because there are a lot of those kinds of hard moments in life. And I know that some of you who listen to my podcast are people who face those kinds of challenges. They may not wear the exact same face that mine does, but they are challenges that you must face and figure out how you can be in those moments with the people that matter the most. So, you know, first of all, when we look at these kinds of things, remember, you're not in this alone.
• 4:23
  That's what I had to constantly try and remember myself because if I'm being honest with you, sometimes it feels like it would be easier to try to do it all your way without doing any consultation. And that is a fallacy. That is indeed a fallacy. I was very fortunate to have siblings and my lovely wife who were all very present for me, helping me through those times, listening to me, helping me struggle through some of the decisions, generating ideas. This evening, completely out of the blue, one of my siblings and her husband brought us dinner tonight so that it turned out to be perfect timing because while dad went to have a test, we all got to sit down together and to eat a meal that was really delicious, well prepared, a home cooked meal that had been delivered with love.
• 5:30
  And it's those kinds of things that can sustain us. First of all, remembering we're not in this alone. And second of all, when we find ourselves trying to escape, run away, not deal with the moment, to slow down, to catch our breath, and to come back into the moment. One thing I'm not always good at that is helpful in times like this too is to learn to be more gentle with yourself. You know, give yourself some grace, particularly if it's a time of high stress and uncertainty, and it's about people you love.
• 6:13
  In moments like that, you know, the very best we have is to slow down and be kind to ourselves. And certainly part of that kindness is the way we talk to ourselves. You know, I've done a podcast about self talk and how important it is to pay attention to the way we talk to ourselves about ourselves. If we call ourselves stupid or demean the choices we make, that's not helpful to us, and over the long run it begins to wear us down. Certainly in times of stress, we're gonna make mistakes.
• 6:55
  We're not gonna do exactly what we intended or maybe even exactly what someone else wanted, but in those moments of high stress and chaos when we're trying to help others through and be advocates for other folks, to me, it's in moments like that when we need the greatest grace, when we need to cut ourselves slack, forgive ourselves, and then move on to press forward. It's not easy, but it is doable. So ask yourself, particularly if you're facing stressful challenges in your life, whether they're personal medical issues the state of our society today, our culture, our nation, if you're listening from a nation that you're concerned about, wherever you are, whenever you are, take stock of what resources you bring to the moment. Who are you? What do you bring to this moment?
• 7:59
  What are some of the resources available within you? Are you kind? Are you able to bear up under pressure? Are you able to let go and slow down in the moments you need to? Are those some of the things you bring to it?
• 8:18
  What resources outside yourself? Are there people you could turn to? People who would be glad to help you, but you'd just prefer not to ask. Some people would love to help if you only told them what you needed. So maybe one of the things you have to do too is to learn to be clear about what it is you need and who might be a good resource to turn to for that.
• 8:43
  Sometimes it might be a professional, but sometimes it might be a friend or a family member who can help in that. My family was of great help to me in this week, when I've been walking along with my dad. So don't underestimate yourself. All of us in our lives will face moments of great stress and challenge, and great stress and challenge that's all tied up in our emotions and our attachments to things and to people make it difficult for us to get a good focus on what really needs to be done. If you can, despite your subjectivity, step back for a moment and take a look.
• 9:31
  What do you bring? What can you call on to help you in times like this? And what will be the next step that you take? Above all, remember that you are infinitely precious and unconditionally loved for the gift you already are. And if you can remember that, remember the preciousness, the gift that you are, that you bring to this moment, and you can practice being in this moment.
• 10:01
  Don't borrow from the long distance future when you're uncertain or even from the past and the mistakes you have made, but instead be present in the moment and perhaps you'll discover you are more than you imagined you were. Perhaps you'll discover people around you are more than you imagined they were. Perhaps you'll just discover that you are strong enough in any given crisis to engage. So I invite you to do just that. Thanks for listening today.
• 10:36
  I wish you all the best. I've already reminded you, but I'll say it again. You are infinitely precious and unconditionally loved for the gift you already are. Until our next time together, all the best to you.