Latest / She Speaks Life - Christian Women, Strengthen Your Faith, Bible Study, Grow Spiritually In Christ / Can You See Me, Now? With Cheri Strange

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Can You See Me, Now? With Cheri Strange · She Speaks Life - Christian Women, Strengthen Your Faith, Bible Study, Grow Spiritually In Christ

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  Hi there. Welcome back to she speaks like
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  podcast. Sherry strange is my guest.
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  This week Sherry has helped over seven hundred thousand women
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  redefined their worth through her writing and speaking.
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  And together with helping others find their way Beyond loneliness
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  and living unnoticed Sherry offers empathetic Comfort
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  because she has walked this desolate path herself.
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  She is an author of a book called.
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  Can you see me now? That brings experience,
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  expertise, and practical solutions to the Forefront, and
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  achievable framework. I can't wait for this
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  conversation. So, let's jump in.
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  Hello Cheri. Welcome to she speaks Life
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  podcast. Thank you.
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  It's so good to be here. Yeah, I am excited about this
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  topic that we're going to dive into how do we get through
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  loneliness and Do we do when we're feeling left?
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  Out are not seeing. I think we've all been there
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  before, and before we kick off with your story, I would love
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  for you to share a life. First, a scripture verse that.
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  You hold dear to your heart, okay.
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  It's from the Amplified. So it's a it sounds a little bit
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  different but it's just really meant a lot to me.
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  It's from habakkuk 3:19 and it says the Lord God is my
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  strength, my personal bravery and my Invincible Army me.
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  Makes my feet like Hinds feet and makes me to walk not to
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  stand still and Terror, but to walk and make spiritual progress
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  upon my high places of trouble suffering and responsibility.
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  Mmm, love that. That's a beautiful verse.
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  So why do you hold that so dear to your heart?
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  One is because I've just found myself in the corner.
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  Afraid to move out. A lot of what the message is
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  about. And what What this is saying, is
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  no, no, God makes you God makes you to walk.
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  He wants you and draws you to make that progress.
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  And and those are all places. I think people can relate to,
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  and especially, for me how we all been in trouble.
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  Yes. Do we all have suffering to go
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  through? Yes.
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  And I have, oh, so much responsibility more than I can
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  do. And so those those are the
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  reasons why I have just clung to that verse because he will make
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  me to walk. He will not let me stand still.
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  Mmm. That's right.
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  Amen. Okay, so you have a Blog and you
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  write for YouVersion Bible app which is awesome and you have a
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  couple of books out including the book.
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  Can you see me now? Good news for the lonely, left
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  out and less than so share with us a little bit about yourself.
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  How long have you been writing? Oh, okay, I have a background
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  and at the University. So I've been writing
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  professionally for a couple of decades but about about the time
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  we adopted our first adopted child was probably about 2005
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  2006. I really felt like it was time
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  to come out of that environment and move home because you know,
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  she we had a new baby and I already had a couple of kids and
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  so I started writing my backyard to know what, you know, just
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  trying to find my voice and what it was.
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  I was thinking that God was going to have me do because it
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  was so different and I did that for nine years.
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  So I did that for nine years and finally when I got finished it
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  was a Bible study, okay? And so I didn't know what you
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  what do you do when you finish it?
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  You know I know I do I knew what you did in the other Arena but
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  this is a little bit different and so I went to my first
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  writers conference there and that's how I got started.
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  With that. Mmm so cool.
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  And to tell our friend here that's listening.
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  You have eight kids, right? Kids?
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  Yes, I have two biological kids and then I have the first one we
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  adopted as a baby from China. And the second one we also
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  adopted from China, but she was nine, and she was on the special
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  needs list. And so she's my special needs
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  daughter, and then about four years into that.
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  So in six years, we adopted Skits because then we got a sub
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  sibling set of four with two girls in a set of twins.
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  So yeah, it was crazy. It was really crazy for those
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  years. Wow, that is great though all
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  the adoptions and stuff. That's awesome.
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  Okay, so let's talk about your story behind the book.
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  Can you see me now? So what prompted you to write it
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  and why now, Okay, personally it's personally my story.
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  I also am married to, you know, the number one student mr.
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  Everything then he went to med school and was mr.
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  Everything and and I was just always Ike.
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  I grew up feeling that way. Anyway and I was very shy, I was
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  small. You know, I was never going to
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  be picked for anything and so then you take all that baggage
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  to college and it just sort of Has time to simmer, you know,
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  then I took it onto my adult life.
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  And so this is really the process that God used in my life
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  to show me. That he saw me that he knows me
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  that he hears me even when I feel like no one else in my life
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  does and so then what I noticed. So I just kind of put that in a
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  drawer because you just carry that with you all the time and
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  so there was one day that I was finishing my graduate work.
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  Work. And I was teaching at the
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  University and I had a couple of kids at home.
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  I mean, life was busy that I was having to drive back and forth
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  about four hours to the university, to finish my
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  research and so one of those and I live in Texas.
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  So there's a lot of lengthy, you know, cow pasture kind of ranch
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  you kind of land that you go through and one of these days I
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  was just feel like what is wrong with me because I think that's
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  our tendency we think, okay. If these are the all of the the
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  Is that I'm getting. It must be me, you know?
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  So I just did what you would probably do in the car by
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  yourself out in the middle of nowhere.
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  You just say out loud. Lord, what is wrong with me?
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  What, what, what is it, I mean, can I fix it?
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  I mean, I wanted me to go to a counselor.
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  I mean what, and about 2 minutes later, you know, you're just out
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  there. But I have driven this road, so
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  many times so many times and I looked out and in this cow
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  pasture, were a bunch of, you know, regular cow's, you know,
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  Texas cows that are sort of Brownish red.
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  And in the middle, was a zebra in the middle of the cow
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  pasture. Wow, I just I was like and I
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  just felt you know how you holy spirit is kind of gives you that
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  sense. He was like, I just felt like he
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  was saying, this is your problem.
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  This is your problem. There is nothing wrong with you,
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  but I've created you as something new and different, but
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  you, you aren't you belong there?
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  But you're going to look different and so I carried that
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  Vision with may just so powerful to me personally and then I've
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  got six daughters and I began to notice that they were struggling
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  with some of the things same things because we've all been in
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  middle school. So, you know, we understand and
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  so I regionally wrote it for them and a picked out different
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  readings. Because it's a setup in about 75
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  reading. 75 days of different verses that focus on different
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  things. And so I originally wrote them
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  like for their 16th birthday. Birthday that we get 16 essays.
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  And so, that's what I had the vision for it to be, but then,
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  as I am in women's ministry, the problem is so, exponential.
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  Even now after after the pandemic that the studies show
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  that we are the loneliest population in the last 50 years
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  on record and that in any given group, you're going to have
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  about half your population who is struggling with these issues
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  and So I thought it best to broaden it and because it really
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  does. I mean, anyone who sees the
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  title of the book so far is like, I don't necessarily say
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  anything, but you can see on their face.
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  They're just like, yeah, I really need that.
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  Yeah. Right.
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  This second, a universal predicament that we go through.
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  Yeah. Now, do you think this
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  loneliness is cause Buy more social media.
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  Okay? Statistically, no.
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  Okay. Was that has been a concern for
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  that younger population, especially, but the, the people
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  who seem to escape it, the most are your oldest population
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  because they know how to network, they know how to make
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  friends. So, in some senses, I think you
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  can't. You can't measure that.
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  So they're not relying on social media for their, for how they
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  view themselves. But the rest of us, we do
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  however, when you, when you look at the numbers, the numbers show
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  that it's just across the board and it's not particularly that,
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  that's not the variable that, that is the change.
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  So, yeah, but I haven't to thank that.
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  It does, it does tend to deepen the problem, mmm, or amplify it
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  well and I'm thinking, you know, as us adults, when, you know, we
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  all have to be in Intentional to get ourselves out there and do
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  things with other people. And I think, you know, a lot of
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  us are afraid of rejection, you know, like we don't like to be
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  rejected or you know, we don't want to have our life be
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  interrupted if we're busy, you know, coming this chunk of time
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  out for a friend. So when you were writing this
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  book was there a part of the book that was more difficult to
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  write? Right.
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  Then yes. The this this book came from a
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  speaking event because I do speaking events and I had
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  written this because it was called and no longer invisible
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  or something like that. And so I hated doing that event.
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  I was on my list of people could choose it and every time
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  somebody chose and I hated it because it's so personal, you
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  know? So when I first, when I first
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  submitted this book I didn't put that in there.
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  I just you know how you don't really want anybody to know what
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  you have struggled with. And I mean, my story is not
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  anything that's going to be on the 6:00 news, but it's a normal
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  story, it's a normal relatable story, and I had just left it
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  out. And so the feedback that I
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  received was, you know, there's no soul in this and right before
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  the pandemic, the week of the pandemic, when we all shut down,
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  I had been invited to do. That event and when I got home
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  and now I have all this time, you know, to think through
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  things I just really sense. The Lord was saying that's the
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  missing piece. It's so for me, the most
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  difficult thing to write was the beginning because to get the
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  reader to relate to me. And, and to come in close
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  quickly. I needed to do that, it really
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  was missing, and I think it has transpired so beautifully that
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  it's very relatable. And but then it Moves.
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  It moves out from it being me about me to about the reader and
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  so, but the first part was the most difficult.
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  I just didn't want it on the page.
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  I'm just kind of a private person.
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  I didn't want it there, but it needed to be there.
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  Now, did you ever find yourself in Ministry or doing even maybe
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  your job and feeling like you were being overlooked?
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  Oh yeah, absolutely. Because, you know, I'm not
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  especially my personality, I'm very melancholy, and I am not
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  the, I'm not outgoing, I'm an introvert.
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  And so I think I think that it would be easy to pass over me.
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  So and also, I've just have a tradition of being shy.
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  I'm I don't need, I can lead but I don't need to be in the front.
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  I would feel more comfortable in the wallpaper.
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  So yes, I have Absolutely felt the pain of that.
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  Yeah. Have you learned anything for
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  yourself anything new while you're writing the book?
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  Sometimes that happens? We're just like, wow, where did
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  this come from? Right.
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  So when I was first thinking about these ideas, I was I was
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  solving problems, right? So I was trying to pull in
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  different things that that I had gone through or that I felt like
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  my girls had gone through or were going to go through just
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  trying to give them some. I wish I had known this.
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  When I was your age kind of advice and then what I found was
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  What we really needed was to see just like that visual I gave you
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  with the zebra in the middle of the cow pasture.
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  What if you what if your circumstances don't change, what
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  if you stay in the same rotten place you know where you feel
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  like you're not treated well or that you are overlooked because
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  that's going to be the story of most of us.
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  Most of the time God leaves us where we are because he's
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  purposely put us there and we find that frustrating.
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  And so what I wanted to do was let's see if God can put that
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  together because that's reality and he did.
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  So what we're just taking were mainly looking at James, the
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  half brother of Jesus, because that's what he did.
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  He did not leave. When all the others were going
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  out, he did not leave. He stayed there and he was
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  transformed to be sort of scene for all the right reasons.
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  So I think that's probably something I learned just as I
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  put it together was AA. Yes, we have a Biblical example
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  of doing Exactly what we need to do in our own lives.
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  And that's really helpful. Yeah, it is so good.
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  Okay. In your book you suggest the
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  reader to do a 75 day journey to experience transformation.
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  Can you expand on that a little bit more?
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  Yeah so the very beginning is going to be my story and kind of
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  getting getting people to relate with me as you would want to do
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  and then it begins to be readings so they one is longer
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  than a traditional devotional so it's not going to be just three
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  or four hundred words but it's going to hit on a point and then
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  it's going to move like that. So what what we often do and
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  this is the illustration I use in the book is a Lofton.
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  We know there's a problem but we don't know what it is.
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  We don't is it us? I mean it seems to be like it's
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  me, you know. And so we will do something like
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  put On it, and do t-shirt like a cute t-shirt because we feel
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  good when we do that, right? When we have a new t-shirt, we
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  just feel so good about that. It's cute, but it's not
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  transformational. And so what what I want to help
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  the reader do is, is not just settle for, for, you know,
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  Plastering, their social media with verses or happy thoughts
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  but truly experience moving from point A, to point B, and, and
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  having a mechanism to get them there.
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  R. And so that's what the 75j
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  journey is about. It's not just a oh well, that
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  was a nice book. No, this is a tool they can
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  utilize. So that's what we're hoping for.
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  So good. So what do you mean?
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  Give us an example of like a step in the healing process when
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  we maybe are being mistreated or we're not being seen, we feel
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  lonely. I mean, give us a little example
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  of what you would share as as wisdom, okay.
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  One of the points that I think we often do this.
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  Is that you and I we want to be liked, we want to be liked in
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  our Circle. And what we, what we know about
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  human relationships at this point is that we can only hold
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  so many people in the in the Inner Circle, right?
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  Okay. Some people some of us we want
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  like eight best friends. Well, they don't fit in that
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  Circle and we try to draw them in and we bring them in way too
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  close and then they don't respond in that way.
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  And And part of our issue is we've brought people in to our
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  circles that have no business being in our Circle and
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  sometimes I don't think we have the wisdom to know the
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  difference. And so what we need to do is to
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  use prayer to pray through, we go through, how many people you
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  should have. I mean there's research that
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  says that we can hold about 150 relationships, you know, kind of
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  on our Target and they vary in closeness.
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  From your inner circle to your just people you would never send
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  to pick somebody up from the airport.
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  No. So for those people and I think
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  our, our error is we move people in and out of those circles that
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  have no business being there. And so one of the things that we
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  do is pray through that and I walk them through how might you
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  discern. That about your own life and I
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  found that to be super helpful. Okay.
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  So, do you have a special Bible verse that just really resonated
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  with, with this message that you wrote.
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  Yes. So there there's one in Isaiah
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  that talks about. It's basically leading the
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  people to follow God. All right.
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  And what he's telling the Them, he's telling them in a few
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  different ways but just the key verse that came out to me,
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  included words that said, come and see, so it starts out, come
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  and see, but then towards the end it says Go and show Go and
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  show Jesus in you. I think I've got it right here
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  actually. Undermined.
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  Yeah. Go forth and show yourselves,
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  Isaiah, 49, 9, and that to me because it one at one point, you
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  think am I right? Because Seems kind of
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  egotistical and you know, self-center to, to want to be
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  seen but what does God say? And and that verse says, Go and
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  show you're not gonna you're not going to show you did.
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  This is not this is not when we change our hair color and we're
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  really loud. We wear weird clothes.
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  I mean it's not for us that it purposes do that if you want to.
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  Hey, if that is your Vibe, go for it.
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  But we don't want to use Aesthetics or social media or
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  anything like that. To be seen for who we are.
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  That is the work that God does, but he wants us to be seen, he
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  absolutely calls us to be seen, you know, the whole, why would
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  you, you would not hide a lamp under a bushel, you know, that
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  kind of thing is sitting on a hill.
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  It needs to be seen and that's what we are.
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  And and this is a way to help internalize that to to move,
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  people out in a healthy Manner and to be seen for all the right
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  reasons in all the right ways. Yeah.
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  Yeah to see God to see Jesus Through us.
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  That's that's what it's all about.
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  I love that. Okay, so what are some
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  challenges? You can share with us as being a
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  writer like having eight kids and you have a Ministry called
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  she yearns and you're doing all this writing.
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  So what are some challenges that you face?
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  Well, basically 24 hours in a day.
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  Yeah. And it's loud.
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  It's really loud with all of those people and especially for
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  covid. They all came home.
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  Some of them had gone to college or whatever and they all came
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  home. And so now, we were home for a
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  year and a half. So that that was a long, long
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  time, especially, but just finding the time to do, all the
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  things God has called me to do. And I don't think that's That's
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  unusual. Just my things are different.
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  You know I think every person will struggle with finding that
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  kind of time to be very intentional.
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  There is nothing wasted, you know?
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  And and really just getting up every day and being intentional
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  about that sometimes some Seasons call for me to get up
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  super early before. Anybody needs me and other
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  Seasons. I just stay up late but
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  sometimes there's there's really not enough time and so I have to
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  make extra time. So we've kind of we don't watch
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  TV we A lot of things that we've already cut out, we don't go to
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  sporting events outside of the ones, our kids are in and we
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  don't make all of those. It's just, we just can't,
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  there's just too many individuals.
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  And there's too many places of responsibility God has called us
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  as a family and so that has been a huge challenge but God has
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  been faithful every time. I mean, I wrote that first book,
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  when we only had six kids, who did not speak English, I mean it
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  Was crazy. But God is always been faithful
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  to give me the time and the space that I've needed in his
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  timing. So I've moved very slowly.
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  I I can't just dedicate all of my time to this and and that is
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  okay, because that's not what God has called me to.
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  He's called me to be a mom and a wife and and into Ministry and
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  all of those have to work together as he does deems them,
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  not as I prioritize them and so that I think is the biggest Goal
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  is, is getting myself before him before the day gets started
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  said, okay? What do we need to do?
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  What is on your agenda? You know, here are the things
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  that I'm thinking and just truly work through those when I'm
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  praying, and then whatever gets done.
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  I'm just going to accept that, that was his agenda, and then,
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  we'll start over tomorrow. And that's really how it has to
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  work for me. Yeah, I agree.
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  Okay, so, What would you? I think this would be a great
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  take away. What would you share with our
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  friend here who's listening? And is going through a season of
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  loneliness is feeling like she's not being seen.
• 23:01
  She's maybe being mistreated but just cannot get past it can't
• 23:08
  overcome. So what would you share with our
• 23:12
  friend who is going through that?
• 23:15
  What I have found? Aunt and I, you know, I didn't
• 23:18
  realize I was doing this but I'm on the other side of it.
• 23:23
  And so now I can look back and say, okay, what?
• 23:25
  What my mom, what might be effective.
• 23:28
  And so you have to fight for it because our natural instinct is
• 23:32
  to just, you know, go back into the corner and and be silenced.
• 23:39
  And so the I think the number one thing that we have to get
• 23:43
  centered is how we've Got some, we might have some bad theology.
• 23:48
  Some theology, like, one of the things that I believe, and I
• 23:51
  grabbed the preacher's daughter, but I believed that somehow I
• 23:55
  latched onto it, like, Jesus loves all the children of the
• 23:58
  world, you know, that kind of thing.
• 24:00
  Then I was one of the many and not one of the Chosen and so
• 24:03
  that he had like this super Christian club, that doesn't
• 24:06
  make any sense. It's not biblical, but I had
• 24:08
  latched on to that belief for years and I lived it out and
• 24:12
  until I got into the word of God and red What what he says and
• 24:17
  who it's to, I didn't know and I couldn't change those beliefs
• 24:22
  because I wasn't biblically aware of what he said.
• 24:26
  And so I think the biggest takeaway for me is that don't
• 24:32
  Don't stop seeking, you know, I think if when you feel that way,
• 24:38
  God did not design us to be sitting underneath something
• 24:42
  hidden. I mean, Jesus says that.
• 24:45
  And so if we know that, if we know that he has individually
• 24:49
  designed us in our sphere of influence for a purpose, other
• 24:53
  than sitting on the side watching it happen, then we need
• 24:58
  to keep seeking that. That would be the number one
• 25:01
  thing I would say. Say don't give up.
• 25:02
  Don't give up the fight. Yeah, so good.
• 25:06
  What do you real quick? I obscurity came to mind, like,
• 25:10
  I know that there's a little bit of that season where God just
• 25:13
  kind of puts you in that obscurity to prepare.
• 25:19
  You know, what can you share on that?
• 25:23
  That's kind of like, what I was I was sharing with you earlier
• 25:25
  that I felt like God was calling me to write.
• 25:29
  I already had a PhD but but I spent nine years in the backyard
• 25:33
  and a little bitty. By myself.
• 25:36
  Yeah, and you know, no one is going to think.
• 25:39
  I bet she's going to be a writer someday.
• 25:41
  You know. No one, no one had any
• 25:43
  aspirations for me, whatsoever. And so, I totally understand
• 25:47
  that. And what I would suggest to the
• 25:50
  person who who is doing that, because it creates an emptiness,
• 25:55
  you know, because you feel so insignificant is just pray your
• 26:01
  guts out that God would feel every crevice.
• 26:04
  Does he only alone? Can fill those empty places that
• 26:08
  are created by other people, but he alone can feel them when we
• 26:12
  cannot fill them by other relationships.
• 26:15
  And so during that season, I would just absolutely, you know,
• 26:18
  throw yourself in more than you might normally, if all you all
• 26:21
  you can do in that season is praying the car on your way to
• 26:24
  whatever. And you know, do your, do your
• 26:26
  devotional and and show up occasionally to church just just
• 26:31
  up your game. Okay.
• 26:33
  And seek God, More than you did before, because he's the only
• 26:37
  way that we're going to experience the fullness that he
• 26:42
  has for us. And so that would be the most
• 26:45
  important thing in your obscurity.
• 26:46
  You just forget everybody else and just latch on to who God
• 26:49
  says, you are and know what that is.
• 26:52
  I didn't know. And so that's that's what I
• 26:55
  think that that I would do and it and I needed to repeat it.
• 26:58
  I needed to say, to myself, I had to write it on a card and
• 27:02
  put all these verses on the Carter God, says, I'm adopted.
• 27:04
  I am chosen. I am forgiven, I am redeemed.
• 27:06
  You know, all those kind of things especially from Ephesians
• 27:09
  1 and I just had to, I think I wore a bracelet for 13 years
• 27:13
  that said believe God because I was believing my own thoughts
• 27:17
  and everyone else's opinion over myself.
• 27:21
  And what I really needed to do was believe what God said about
• 27:24
  me and who he called me to be and until we stop playing those
• 27:28
  tapes and getting in our head what other people have assessed
• 27:32
  us to be then And we are not going to be victorious, but if
• 27:37
  we can get in our head who he says, we are, we will be changed
• 27:41
  and we will get through it so good.
• 27:43
  Amen. Thank you.
• 27:45
  Terry. Where can people connect with
• 27:47
  you and get your book and all your goodies you offer?
• 27:50
  All right. The book is available on Amazon,
• 27:53
  can you see me now? And my website is chaeri Cherry
• 27:59
  strange. Just like the word is trng e.com
• 28:03
  and they can find me there. Well, thanks Cherry for sharing
• 28:06
  your wisdom with us. Thank you so much for listening
• 28:11
  today and I trust that God has encouraged you through the
• 28:14
  story. Did you know this podcast is on
• 28:17
  YouTube, hop on there and subscribe and you can see a live
• 28:21
  recording of each episode and for more information on this
• 28:25
  ministry and to access free downloads, please visit my
• 28:29
  website at Jamie Elizabeth.com that's ja, yme Elizabeth.com and
• 28:36
  let's connect Beyond this podcast by Going to my Instagram
• 28:40
  handle, Jamie Elizabeth, she speaks life or Facebook until
• 28:44
  next time my friend. I hope God reveals himself
• 28:47
  through your own life story.