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Transcript

Hamster@1000! · A Hamster With a Blunt Penknife - a Doctor Who Commentary podcast

• 0:00
  Hello the ham fam. The ham fam.
• 0:04
  This promises to be good. Pin back your lovers.
• 0:08
  I'm not saying it twice. It sounds naughty to me.
• 0:12
  I'm busy. Hello the ham fam.
• 0:15
  I have a message for you from Joe Ford to his podcast
• 0:20
  audience. While so far so good dear.
• 0:22
  Now, this is to thank you from Joe for the audience of the
• 0:31
  podcast. Well, all right, OK, I'm
• 0:34
  swallowing it so far. A hamster.
• 0:39
  A hamster with a blunt pen knife.
• 0:45
  I haven't said a word. For being such a fabulous bunch,
• 0:51
  you are incredibly naughty. And Joe is the picture of
• 0:56
  innocence. A sincere thank you for
• 1:02
  listening. You are all the best.
• 1:06
  You are some nuts to me. I don't know what you leave.
• 1:11
  I have some of the blood pen knife.
• 1:12
  Did you? Oh, guess a life.
• 1:15
  Get the get the Oh, please. And if I've delivered the
• 1:18
  message you sound, you're too tomato short of a salad.
• 1:22
  You lots nuts. Nuts.
• 1:25
  Grow up. Hello and welcome to a hamster
• 1:33
  with a blunt pen knife at 1000 episodes.
• 1:37
  Yes, that's right, 40 days worth of podcasting, 56.79 gigabytes
• 1:47
  of space taken up on my computer.
• 1:51
  Friendships forged, lots of critique, lots of laughter.
• 1:55
  A wonderful community has come out of this fabulous podcast.
• 2:02
  This is going to be a little bit indulgent.
• 2:04
  So if you are looking for the usual highbrow critique, you
• 2:09
  know, PG13 conversation, then head to one of the other
• 2:14
  episodes because this is all about celebration.
• 2:18
  And for once, for once, Joe Ford is going to shut up.
• 2:23
  Well, not entirely, because I'm pumping in some clips of some of
• 2:27
  my favorite moments of the podcast, but the bulk of this
• 2:31
  will be this incredible community that's come together
• 2:35
  talking about their experiences, finding each other.
• 2:38
  Yeah, let's celebrate. Let's party.
• 2:52
  Congratulations on 1000 episodes.
• 2:58
  I remember our first commentary on the Android invasion.
• 3:03
  I mean, that was so long ago. That was when, you know, an
• 3:06
  audio commentary, you're expected to like, watch along
• 3:10
  rather than like talk throughout the whole thing and go off on
• 3:12
  complete tangents and everything.
• 3:14
  We're very much focused on talking about what was on
• 3:18
  screen, how things have changed. You know, 1000 episodes.
• 3:22
  That is over 1000 opinions from Doko Ho, which is absolutely
• 3:27
  amazing and just an insight for everybody else.
• 3:32
  When a hamster commentary is being recorded, Joe can be quite
• 3:38
  loud. I can hear every word throughout
• 3:42
  the whole house. Even sitting outside the whole
• 3:45
  street can hear all of those opinions.
• 3:49
  And I'm sure, like me, they're all looking forward to the next
• 3:53
  1000 Doctor Who opinions. So here's to the next.
• 3:59
  Don't we get a bit about Galileo here as well?
• 4:02
  Galileo. Yeah.
• 4:04
  Galileo, Figaro. You.
• 4:10
  See the name Lasky inscribed in the History Pub.
• 4:13
  Rubbish. This podcast has been a team
• 4:15
  effort. Yeah.
• 4:21
  Well, fellas, you've led me to see the fault in my strategy on
• 4:23
  the frame. You.
• 4:25
  You. Me.
• 4:26
  Fraser. The opinions we've spawned, the
• 4:31
  toxic ideas in this enterprise. Received wisdom with challenge.
• 4:37
  All encapsulated on this podcast.
• 4:44
  Is this where he says I didn't even hear the did a call?
• 4:52
  Oh my God, Carly, I love you. This is zipping by, isn't it?
• 4:57
  Thank you for tuning into the Doctor Who Quotes podcast, Joe.
• 5:11
  You might need to put some sad music under this one.
• 5:14
  Oh please, I will. The violins are going.
• 5:19
  I need to know how this ends. You're ruining my life.
• 5:28
  Today has been the worst day in my life.
• 5:32
  I went to the church party about an hour late.
• 5:35
  Sally was there, but I didn't speak to me.
• 5:37
  But she didn't speak to me. I've written I didn't speak to
• 5:40
  me, but I think I mean she didn't speak to me.
• 5:43
  Maybe I didn't speak to me either.
• 5:45
  You were in a very confused place.
• 5:47
  She gave me her letter. She was still doing this in
• 5:50
  letters and I gave her my nasty one.
• 5:54
  Can I ask you, did you ever have a conversation I.
• 5:57
  Think I think obviously with a chaperone present.
• 6:00
  Of course we may have taken the occasional turn around the
• 6:03
  garden. We went outside to play some
• 6:05
  games. It was virtually all first year
• 6:08
  girls and as the games were rather babyish, Sally and I
• 6:11
  talked. She said our relationship hadn't
• 6:14
  worked at all and she wasn't comfortable going out with me
• 6:17
  because we'd previously been friends etcetera.
• 6:21
  Everyone else went in but we were left in this picturesque
• 6:25
  garden, sitting on a crumbling wall with the church in the
• 6:28
  background. The sky was grey and it began to
• 6:32
  rain a bit. We had a very long conversation,
• 6:37
  some was quite fun, but mainly she was saying she didn't want
• 6:41
  to go out with me, but she didn't want to dump me, so it
• 6:44
  had to be a mutual decision. I wasn't going to give her yes,
• 6:47
  let's break up because I want to go out with her.
• 6:49
  So she dumped me. I've been dumped.
• 6:55
  I'm not going out with Sally. When I think about everything
• 7:00
  I've done for her, given her, written her, I can't understand
• 7:04
  why I even let her read. Two years in a bit of my private
• 7:08
  life and she dumped me after just over 3 weeks.
• 7:13
  I now think her argument was bollocks.
• 7:17
  James, honestly, I said to you in the start of this, I'm not
• 7:20
  sure I could love you anymore. But after that heartfelt
• 7:26
  reading, I mean, oh man, don't you just want to give him a hug?
• 7:30
  And just like you'll be all right.
• 7:31
  Sort of a hug and a bit of a shake as well.
• 7:33
  Like, come on, pull yourself together.
• 7:36
  I like the family, but after everything I'd written to her,
• 7:42
  when you said what is it, Things weren't working out, etcetera.
• 7:46
  A lot of things can be said in the word etcetera.
• 7:49
  Oh boy, There's definitely a drama in this.
• 7:52
  I mean, I mean, it's a comedy drama though, right?
• 7:55
  Like. Yes, it is a comedy drama.
• 7:58
  Just the people in it don't realize.
• 8:06
  So the climax, the Doctor, Fitz and Angie have have the time
• 8:11
  agents time machine and they're facing off against Jonah
• 8:13
  Cosgrove. And the Doctor says to Jonah,
• 8:17
  here's a choice for you. You can catch it or you can
• 8:20
  shoot me. You won't have time to do both.
• 8:23
  I beg your pardon? You can shoot me or you can
• 8:25
  catch it. The Doctor tossed The Time
• 8:27
  Machine over the edge of the Cliff.
• 8:30
  Cosgrove leapt after it. Fitz and Angie joined the Doctor
• 8:36
  at the edge of the Cliff. He's mad, Fitz said.
• 8:39
  Oh yes, the Doctor replied. He can't.
• 8:41
  Possibly, Angie began. He can, said the Doctor,
• 8:44
  untroubled. Just, and he knew it.
• 8:46
  The slightest hesitation and he wouldn't have a chance.
• 8:49
  But he has a chance. Fitz asked.
• 8:51
  Yes, and if he gets to The Time Machine, he'll get everything he
• 8:54
  wants. He'll be able to go back in time
• 8:56
  and kill his enemies. He'll be able to bring weapons
• 8:57
  and intelligence information from the future.
• 8:59
  Yes. Cosgrove had his arms out like a
• 9:02
  diver. The wind was intense, freezing.
• 9:05
  He barely noticed it. The fall was hundreds of feet
• 9:07
  onto jagged rocks. There was not one chance he
• 9:09
  could survive this unless he caught The Time Machine.
• 9:12
  The silver cylinder tumbled down 10 or 15 feet ahead of him.
• 9:15
  It looked like a cigar tube. It was that sort of size, that
• 9:18
  sort of burnished silver. He was gaining on it.
• 9:20
  He was definitely gaining. He had one chance.
• 9:23
  All he had to do was grab it, squeeze the controls at the end.
• 9:26
  One chance. He reached out, strained, and
• 9:28
  still his arm was almost out of its socket.
• 9:30
  His fingertip tapped against The Time Machine, just for a moment
• 9:33
  as it spun, but he'd felt it. Seconds.
• 9:35
  He had seconds to do this. His arm reached further, His
• 9:38
  hands brushed against the cylinder.
• 9:40
  Cosgrove snatched The Time Machine, grabbed it.
• 9:42
  This was his destiny. He squeezed the controls, felt
• 9:44
  the machine powering up. He hit the rocks so.
• 9:50
  Don't Come on, do Pitts. Pitts looked away.
• 9:56
  Yuck. Oh.
• 9:58
  Boy. I was howling with laughter.
• 10:09
  So we have Evil of the Daleks, this time up against power of
• 10:16
  the. This is this is the one that I
• 10:19
  didn't want you to do this time. Do you do this on purpose?
• 10:22
  No. How do you do this?
• 10:24
  What? What the random generator?
• 10:26
  Who made the random generator? He did made the random
• 10:31
  generator. That was me.
• 10:32
  No, no, it's. Just it's, it's got a special
• 10:35
  fuck off. Toby Haddock out.
• 10:37
  No, This is why the computers will.
• 10:38
  Destroy us all. But surely you would wait.
• 10:41
  What? What have we hang on before we
• 10:43
  get to it? What?
• 10:43
  What did we have? We had power.
• 10:45
  We had power evil, but for faceless ones, right?
• 10:48
  That's right, yes. The faceless ones ain't going to
• 10:50
  win this the way this the. Way you should go.
• 10:53
  The. The finals going to be between
• 10:57
  fucking Often 55 and Legend of the Sea Devils, you know.
• 11:03
  What? We should have had.
• 11:06
  Here was the Faceless Ones, evil of doubt.
• 11:10
  Well, we haven't. We've got the Ultimate Daleks
• 11:12
  and Evil of the Daleks. You know, you've just brought
• 11:14
  back to me Rod's apoplexy. We're talking about this.
• 11:16
  Should be the end, not not the middle bit.
• 11:19
  This should be the final, yeah. Yeah, exactly.
• 11:23
  Never have guests been so rebellious.
• 11:25
  I love it. That's.
• 11:27
  Why it's been over five years. It's bad enough when you're
• 11:30
  listening to it and it does something stupid like this, but
• 11:33
  when you're fucking in it, it's just offensive.
• 11:36
  It's because I am platforming your system.
• 11:41
  I'm giving it. I'm lending my unimpeached name
• 11:45
  to your fucking nonsense. I'm allowing you to happen.
• 11:51
  I am standing by while your egregiousness is allowed to
• 11:56
  prosper. I've got one question, Toby.
• 11:58
  I can't believe you've done this, Sir.
• 12:00
  Toby. Hazel, one question to Toby.
• 12:03
  Would you like to come back, Toby?
• 12:07
  You've still got to make a choice though.
• 12:08
  You can scream and shout as much as you want.
• 12:12
  You're not getting no sweeties and you got to make a choice.
• 12:15
  I'll go first. It's power.
• 12:20
  Well, I'll make a choice, yes. Power.
• 12:21
  For me, I would like to say power of the Daleks, Yes,
• 12:27
  although evil of the Daleks is spoiled.
• 12:29
  I mean, it's power for me as well.
• 12:31
  So, Toby, you don't even have to make a decision.
• 12:33
  There you go. Well, I'll just say evil as a
• 12:37
  protest. There we go.
• 12:45
  I wanted to say just a very quick personal story because
• 12:47
  when I was 13 years old, I've said this a lot on podcast, I
• 12:51
  bought the trial of a Time Lords video box set that came out in a
• 12:56
  very, very difficult top part of my life, really hard.
• 13:00
  My dad had gone to prison. Things were really, really bad.
• 13:03
  That box set means the world to me now, all these years later,
• 13:07
  because it took me away from a really difficult time.
• 13:09
  I'm watching those first two stories, Mysterious Planet and
• 13:12
  Mindwall. You probably hear this sort of
• 13:14
  thing a lot. I do.
• 13:16
  And when I first joined Doctor Who and I started to hear this
• 13:21
  stuff, I thought, really? And then soon it became apparent
• 13:28
  that, you know, it's not just a wonderful television show, It's
• 13:32
  also some kind of medicine and some kind of magic that enables
• 13:39
  people to leave pain behind for a moment, to leave distress
• 13:46
  behind, to be in another world, to be with their friends, the
• 13:49
  doctor and his companion or her. Companion.
• 13:53
  And it it takes people somewhere safe.
• 14:03
  I am here today with a man who has not graced my doorstep for
• 14:09
  some time, Mr. Rob Valentine. Hello, Rob.
• 14:13
  Hello, Joe. Well, there's a reason for that.
• 14:15
  Yeah, success. How dare you be successful?
• 14:18
  Our wedding day. Oh yes.
• 14:22
  I turned up. I was there.
• 14:24
  I. Was actually full.
• 14:28
  Jilted listener. I told you this podcast career
• 14:31
  is important to me. I had two recorded that day.
• 14:35
  I was so embarrassed. Anyway, look, I'll let bygones
• 14:38
  be bygones. I'm here now.
• 14:40
  Have a good party though. Yeah, I did.
• 14:43
  I did. Yeah, I did.
• 14:44
  Actually. It turned, it turned out OK.
• 14:46
  Just the hotel wasn't wasted. Let's just put it that way.
• 14:49
  Back to Wetherspoons. It's a it's a great.
• 14:52
  Did you know how did? You know, we're all on a budget
• 14:55
  these days, Rob. What are we here to talk about
• 14:58
  today? Now last time we did the
• 15:00
  Abominable Snowman and you told me the word cryptozoology.
• 15:07
  I did, yes. Yeah, the, yeah, the, the, the,
• 15:11
  the theme, the subject, the area of hidden creatures, basically
• 15:16
  that's. Capable of wishing you hadn't,
• 15:17
  because I've been using that word ever since every time I
• 15:20
  learn a clever word. Can you please give us a sort of
• 15:23
  an umbrella term for this story please?
• 15:27
  What really, I mean, the stuff we're going to be talking about
• 15:30
  because on our Abominable Snowman discussion, we did talk
• 15:33
  about maybe doing, having a few more talks and we're kind of
• 15:36
  doing that now. We're looking at certain Doctor
• 15:38
  Who's and certain kind of influence, you know, also
• 15:41
  looking at their influences as well, because this is kind of my
• 15:45
  my area of just, you know, it's my happy place.
• 15:47
  But yeah, so we what was the question again?
• 15:58
  Well, my favorite of the year is gone, so I don't really care
• 16:01
  anymore what wins this. And I'm going to say the time
• 16:06
  Monster. And do you know why?
• 16:08
  I'm going to say the time monster Because I think Joe made
• 16:12
  a brilliant point that the scenes between Delgado and
• 16:16
  Ingrid Pier are just amazing. And you know, I'd rather watch
• 16:22
  their massive than Katie Manning and.
• 16:25
  Alpha Centauri. Oh God no.
• 16:31
  I think Pedidon is a more competently told story and it is
• 16:35
  better directed. Do I have a better time with it?
• 16:39
  No way. Thai monster for me.
• 16:44
  Oh my God. Yeah, you're in a tricky bite.
• 16:46
  Come on. Rod.
• 16:48
  Come on. Is it?
• 16:51
  Go on. Chris Polygon was one of the.
• 16:53
  First poet was I saw. Because of the 19, Oh re saw.
• 16:56
  I should say being slightly older, I've been seeing the 82.
• 17:01
  So that's got so many memories for it because I managed to put
• 17:03
  it on audio. So I've listened to it for
• 17:05
  years. What about the what about the
• 17:08
  Master Sniffer outer though? You know, it's an enormous cock
• 17:13
  and balls frost. It's enormous.
• 17:15
  Enormous cock in Alpha Centauri. Oh, that's true, especially on
• 17:22
  this goal. There's also those massive dildo
• 17:27
  glasses in the day of the Doctor.
• 17:29
  We forgot, we didn't know I mentioned those so.
• 17:32
  Suppose if you're comparing Alpha Centauri with the TARDIS
• 17:36
  sniffer outer, I guess you've got to have cock with balls,
• 17:40
  haven't you? So it's got to be the time
• 17:41
  monster. You're fat.
• 17:47
  It's the fun. It's got Delgado.
• 17:51
  It's yeah, it's got to be the time monster.
• 17:54
  It's got to be the time monster. Look at you.
• 17:57
  Oh my God, she's so happy. Vindicated.
• 18:01
  It is genuinely a great. No, I can't go anywhere at the
• 18:05
  moment, I'm far too busy. But I told them you're becoming
• 18:08
  2 observers from universe said well shall I go?
• 18:10
  No, certainly not Josh. She'll need you here with me.
• 18:12
  What's it all about, anyway? Tom tit, That's what it's all
• 18:15
  about. Demonstration of Tom Tit.
• 18:17
  Tom Tit Tom tit, Thank you. Thank you so much for coming on
• 18:28
  this the adventure with us. We are watching The Stranger so
• 18:31
  you don't have to, all right. Well, I would suggest you do.
• 18:34
  Yeah, and why not watch it with friends?
• 18:37
  Why not watch it with us? Put us on and you can have chats
• 18:40
  about Joe Ford's Instant. Fuck love.
• 18:45
  No, you just made me fart. I didn't hear that, didn't hear
• 18:49
  that. Oh God, did you think the
• 18:53
  microphone? Picked it up.
• 18:56
  This is a new loaf hamster with a blood pen knife.
• 19:02
  OK, stop it, I'll piss myself as well.
• 19:11
  This is so far, we've come in four hours.
• 19:13
  We're we're covering new ground here today, guys.
• 19:16
  There was a point where we were going to give up on the last one
• 19:19
  and come and do it another time, but we persevered.
• 19:23
  Oh, Christ, I'm crying. You're OK.
• 19:27
  I'm all right. I'm all right.
• 19:29
  Good. Welcome back to The Hamster with
• 19:37
  the Pampin Knife, one of many Doctor Who commentary podcasts.
• 19:42
  Feel free to check out another one if you don't want to hear
• 19:46
  people talking about the Time Monster episode 52.
• 19:54
  But we're here talking about Episode 6 AKA Part 3B, AKA Part
• 20:01
  1 of the actual story of the Time Monster.
• 20:05
  I'm joined by Joe as I'm frequently joined by.
• 20:10
  You are the jackiest Jack I've ever seen.
• 20:14
  And I am complimented by Stephen B for me to.
• 20:19
  Hello, Stephen. I'm always complimenting you,
• 20:21
  Jack. You do a great job.
• 20:23
  Thank you. Well, I thought it's always him.
• 20:26
  Obviously you too your lovely podcast What you talk about.
• 20:31
  Stop doing stories that people should actually spend their time
• 20:34
  watching. There was like a wealth of like
• 20:44
  just throw away great ideas. For example.
• 20:47
  Oh, excuse me, I'm just getting a call.
• 20:49
  Hang on. Yes, Hello.
• 20:51
  Galactic enquiries. Hello.
• 20:53
  Yes, I'd like to. What's that?
• 20:56
  Yes, I'm looking to podcast for someone called Ian Martin.
• 21:00
  Yes, Ian Martin. That's right.
• 21:02
  Oh, 565. Ian Martin's on the earth, you
• 21:06
  say? Well, what about in this
• 21:08
  particular area? Oh, OK, 30 how many are human?
• 21:11
  Oh, only three. OK how many are hot 02?
• 21:16
  OK, how can we Some of this Dad is anyone got a load of new
• 21:19
  adventures behind him? Yes, that's the one.
• 21:22
  Put him on the call. I mean, that was a great idea,
• 21:25
  right? Galactic enquiries that.
• 21:27
  Was for me that was kind of basically Douglas Adams level of
• 21:32
  throwaway genius because that in itself, there's a, there's a
• 21:36
  Doctor Who novel in that idea, but she's not worried about
• 21:39
  doing that. She doesn't, she doesn't need
• 21:41
  it. She's just throwing away
• 21:43
  brilliant ideas like. That it was so funny to get from
• 21:46
  A to B, isn't it as well, Yeah. Yeah.
• 21:48
  I've got another question for you, though, Ian.
• 21:50
  How much sort of Doctor Who merchandise do you own?
• 21:56
  Well, now that was an almost psychotic giggle then.
• 21:59
  It was. Not as much as as you might
• 22:02
  think. I've I've still got all the Nas
• 22:05
  and all the Ed, almost all the EDA's.
• 22:08
  I've got about 30 targets left and two Blu rays and assorted
• 22:18
  DVDs. When I say 2 Blu rays, I mean
• 22:21
  two of the seasoned box sets and a bunch of individual DVDs.
• 22:26
  Not a lot. I used to own a hell of a lot
• 22:28
  more. Do you imagine, though, that
• 22:30
  your missus, you know, if you sort of packed it away in a
• 22:32
  storage area, that she might be quite happy to use that space
• 22:36
  for other things? Absolutely yes I do, but she
• 22:39
  would use it poorly. Oh, OK.
• 22:44
  I mean, I was just using it as a way really to get a sort of
• 22:47
  Millennium Dome storage centre. Which which is another of those
• 22:53
  brilliant ideas that she's had so.
• 22:56
  You have the. Millennium Dome and then beneath
• 22:59
  it, I'm going to do that so so it works visually.
• 23:03
  You have a much larger inverted follow dip, which is yeah for
• 23:09
  for off world travellers and people out of time.
• 23:13
  It's a special storage facility for for.
• 23:16
  Aliens. How amazing is this?
• 23:18
  It's like. Do you know what I was taking
• 23:28
  tips when I was reading this? No, I'll never use that one.
• 23:33
  Jesus Christ. Yep.
• 23:36
  Yes, Wow, yes, that's a hell of a I think it's things you can
• 23:39
  only get way when you're a monarch rather than trying to
• 23:41
  use it on the streets. Like, sorry.
• 23:43
  I mean, I'm sorry to divert you away from the book for a second.
• 23:45
  What's like the worst come on, you've ever tried with somebody?
• 23:49
  Do you know what I was? I can't believe I'm going to
• 23:51
  admit this to you on camera. And that is, I said to the
• 23:55
  person, my God, I think it was a coat.
• 24:00
  I thought I'd heard it in a movie and I thought, I'm just
• 24:02
  going to try it. I went, That coat looks very
• 24:04
  becoming on you. Why don't you take it off and
• 24:07
  put me on, and then I'll be coming.
• 24:13
  Needless to say, we did not go home together.
• 24:17
  Oh, come on. What's yours?
• 24:18
  What's your worst one chance? We'll get a chance to do it in a
• 24:24
  book club episode. You know, true, I'm not a
• 24:28
  naturally flirtatious person. I've been trying to think of You
• 24:31
  could have fooled me. Jesus Christ, I know with that
• 24:36
  lustrous readings of King James, maybe that's what I should do.
• 24:40
  Maybe I'll just, I'll go around different clubs and just read
• 24:43
  different pieces of dialogue from King James.
• 24:45
  Whatever you do, see what you got to anyone and call them a
• 24:47
  Nubian Prince. All right?
• 24:48
  Please don't do that, whatever you do.
• 24:52
  Oh boy. Or or just dismiss their wee
• 24:56
  lassie that's sitting beside them so that I could sneak in.
• 24:59
  Yeah. Get rid of a white Well, it
• 25:01
  depends actually, with today you're fancying boys or girls,
• 25:04
  but you can say like you know, you ladies with your innate
• 25:07
  gossip, please go and gossip over there.
• 25:08
  I'm talking to this gentleman or vice versa.
• 25:16
  Like I say, it's been a long time since I've read Blood Heat.
• 25:19
  Can I tell you something exciting, right.
• 25:21
  Yeah. Our book club, this podcast,
• 25:23
  yeah, has been doing better than Garrett Wang and Robert Duncan
• 25:27
  Mcneil's podcast in the TV reviews ratings.
• 25:32
  Is that great out of the Paul Harry Kim?
• 25:36
  Well, I I used to listen to that and they would go, what do you
• 25:39
  remember from this episode? And they go, well, not a lot.
• 25:41
  And I said, well, what? What's the point of doing a
• 25:44
  podcast about something where you're like, yeah, I don't be
• 25:46
  doing this, I'm not in it. Listen to Habsor Blunt Pen Knife
• 25:49
  where we go into intense detail about Jim Mortimer's pain
• 25:52
  fetish. Why wouldn't you?
• 25:55
  Well. Of course not.
• 25:56
  This is a classic. You know you can cut out enjoyed
• 25:58
  it, so you can enjoy it at home too.
• 26:01
  We've read it, so you don't have to.
• 26:03
  Can I ask one last question? Has sort of reading this book
• 26:06
  with its intense torture scenes and, you know, people floating
• 26:09
  about in bits and things like that.
• 26:11
  Has anybody been encouraged to kill anybody or, you know,
• 26:15
  behave in a particularly violent way?
• 26:18
  Oh, Gareth, look at Gareth. He's poking.
• 26:20
  Sorry, what? God, Nothing.
• 26:25
  I'm just going to go and grab the drill, you know?
• 26:28
  Chris, what about the thing that surprised me, though, is I would
• 26:36
  have said that when when I was younger.
• 26:39
  I I like, you know, when we, we talk about trout and rad, you
• 26:44
  know, but we also talk about gun and frock.
• 26:47
  I was definitely more gun than I was frock.
• 26:50
  But then coming to read this, I'm like, I'm not so sure I am
• 26:55
  anymore. I think, I think I've mellowed
• 26:57
  and kind of because I guess this is more gun than frock and about
• 27:03
  a woman giving birth. So it's quite frock.
• 27:12
  And it's still my after the McCoy era.
• 27:14
  It's my go to classic series era.
• 27:17
  It's gorgeous. The 1st and the last eras of the
• 27:20
  classic. Everything in between is a load
• 27:22
  of shit but those two. Yeah, it's all generic stuff.
• 27:25
  I like the show when it's experimental.
• 27:27
  It's basically. It's an argument there.
• 27:28
  You know, I think there is an argument that those were the two
• 27:30
  most. Experimental.
• 27:32
  It's McCoy and it's Jodie Whittaker.
• 27:34
  The rest of it's shit. It's not.
• 27:37
  It's not. I'll move on to Luke.
• 27:39
  Luke, the William Hartnell era. I just say if it's Dylan, it
• 27:42
  would have been the Five Doctors, so it wouldn't have
• 27:44
  been Hartnell. But then I I'm guessing it would
• 27:47
  have been the beginning box set, which I don't think bored me
• 27:51
  shitless. I was probably just fascinated
• 27:53
  by the law and stuff at the time.
• 27:57
  You're awful. Yeah, I was.
• 27:59
  Definitely was, definitely less so now I'm.
• 28:06
  Yeah. There's something about the
• 28:07
  heart and the liver that's a bit magical, you know, you like, I
• 28:11
  think I used to watch it out of pure fascination.
• 28:14
  Doesn't quite feel like it should exist.
• 28:18
  It's just a bit bit spooky and a bit magic.
• 28:23
  Saying that, I'm talking specifically about the
• 28:25
  futuristic ones or the sideways ones, because the historicals
• 28:28
  did and still sort of do bore me no matter how good this comes.
• 28:33
  No matter how. Good people tell me.
• 28:35
  Historicals. And people tell me the dialogue
• 28:37
  is good and badly bad. OK, I do agree.
• 28:39
  But yeah, they are boring at the same time.
• 28:42
  Luke, give me. Planet a giants over the Aztecs
• 28:45
  any day the. Only thing that's left for you
• 28:48
  is death, and death is very far away.
• 28:51
  You know where that's from, no. The Crusade episode.
• 28:55
  Thank you. An episode where Julian Glover
• 28:58
  goes Joanna. Nobody says Joanna like that.
• 29:01
  You defy me with the pop You. Defy the world with your
• 29:06
  politics. We're doing.
• 29:08
  We're doing a much better episode of The Crusade today,
• 29:11
  though. Come on.
• 29:11
  That is true. That is true.
• 29:13
  I think this one I really liked as a kid because of that
• 29:16
  variation if some black and white, you can get a bit tired.
• 29:19
  This one brand new set and brand new thing every week.
• 29:23
  Bang, let's go. Do we dare approach?
• 29:31
  Do we dare approach all the boobs and bums and stuff?
• 29:35
  I think you've got to talk about it because.
• 29:37
  I thought he was a nice, gentle, sort of Buddhist sort of chap.
• 29:40
  I don't know why he's so obsessed with, you know, the
• 29:43
  female here now. Yeah.
• 29:46
  Exactly. Yeah, catamites and cow shit and
• 29:53
  boobs and. Like he was so surprised that
• 29:56
  cow shit makes it into the audio drama.
• 29:59
  Like like bastard bastards in there as well.
• 30:06
  And Catamite. I mean, Catamite would go over
• 30:08
  most people's heads but. Yeah, I think this is just.
• 30:10
  Shit in a doctor. Who?
• 30:12
  The audio book, do you think, does he think this is what
• 30:15
  Virgin want? Like, sort of.
• 30:17
  Because it was written for the region.
• 30:20
  I think the problem lies in that the guy who's doing it was a
• 30:25
  light entity producer and a fan. So I don't know if he's able to
• 30:28
  go. I'm script editing Barry Lett.
• 30:30
  I'll tell him that he can't do that.
• 30:33
  So was it a case he was a little bit too reverent?
• 30:36
  And then when Virgin get to it, we can't do it because it's in
• 30:40
  the audio as well, so we can't change it.
• 30:43
  So I kind of wonder if it falls between those stools.
• 30:46
  There's a passage here, right? I mean, please listen to this.
• 30:50
  Jeremy wants to prove he's not some sort of Hooray Henry, but a
• 30:55
  proper, what's a Hooray Henry? I don't know a proper
• 30:58
  investigative journalist. It's kind of one of these upper
• 31:02
  class and it's kind of, you know, the kind of people you
• 31:06
  hate who's who are all that the upper class parties, kind of
• 31:09
  chinless wonders, those types. Yeah.
• 31:11
  What stuff? Yeah, yeah.
• 31:13
  He felt rather racy, looking at her barely concealed boobs, at
• 31:18
  the sight of her jiggling figure.
• 31:20
  Each part seemed to have a mind of its own, a bit of a smasher
• 31:24
  Roo. And then, and then in the next
• 31:27
  paragraph. Maggie preferred a man to be a
• 31:30
  man. She'd even admit that she found
• 31:33
  sniffing a creep who deserved it like a turn on.
• 31:39
  It's going on. Can I just?
• 31:41
  Say she likes bad boys. Like that's all you need to say.
• 31:44
  Like that, that line that you, that line of description from
• 31:48
  Jeremy's point of view there in the audio drama, it's just
• 31:51
  replaced with the line. Check out the boobs on that
• 31:54
  tourist, which is one of the strangest things to hear.
• 32:00
  In the Doctor Who trial, hey. Don't forget we have I think
• 32:03
  broadcast doctors first orgasm in this as well.
• 32:06
  You know, Barry pushes the boundaries.
• 32:08
  You know, they say he's safe, but he's not.
• 32:11
  Oh no. Luke's got his head in his
• 32:12
  hands. I can understand if you're like,
• 32:16
  for some reason I never heard these before or experienced any
• 32:19
  parts of these. Barry Let's audio such books
• 32:23
  Never, but I've heard The Sevenfold Crown and The Sedetton
• 32:27
  Experiment. And oh, you.
• 32:28
  Poor SO so why did he get those wrong Well, because he doesn't
• 32:32
  know shit about Blake 7 like they couldn't get Chris bad from
• 32:35
  but nevermind. So you wouldn't think that these
• 32:41
  would have the same problem, like the characterizations are
• 32:43
  wrong and all this other kinds of weirdness.
• 32:45
  This is this is his wheelhouse. It's.
• 32:50
  Yeah. And what's interesting because
• 32:57
  you don't get so the the cut, the cuts way to the court are
• 33:02
  not allowed to break up the tension in the at the end of the
• 33:06
  story, there's a sense in which you love.
• 33:09
  The ending. You can't.
• 33:11
  I love Jason's delivery. Oh yeah no, I mean once.
• 33:14
  Must now be genocide. And then a terrible bit of sin
• 33:18
  for the AE. And again, it shows that in the
• 33:22
  wider narrative, things now ratchet up as well.
• 33:25
  You've had this ratcheting up in the individual story and then it
• 33:28
  it's part of the wider narrative.
• 33:29
  Now the doctors are much more serious, which has been, of
• 33:32
  course, the the shape of the season.
• 33:33
  It starts as an inquiry, it becomes a trial, and now it's a
• 33:37
  trial for genocide. And then where do you go after
• 33:39
  that? Actually, you discover that the
• 33:41
  doctor is now persecuting himself.
• 33:45
  I know it's messy. I know a lot of it was done.
• 33:48
  It was born of desperation, a lot better than people say it
• 33:52
  is. Oh.
• 33:53
  Absolutely, but again, it's part of it's it's Baker Derangement
• 33:56
  syndrome. They just don't like those two
• 33:58
  seasons. They don't always going to come
• 33:59
  after either. But then then they're missing so
• 34:01
  much with McCoy. And yet there's there's a lot
• 34:04
  here. Of course, it could be a lot
• 34:05
  better. It's it's the messiest part of
• 34:07
  the of the entire original run of Doctor Who.
• 34:11
  It's the one where it's the hardest to go.
• 34:13
  That's one of my favourite stories.
• 34:14
  I put that in the top 10 because there's a problem with all of
• 34:16
  them. But they're, I, like I said to,
• 34:19
  to last night to, to sight in the 25th anniversary edition,
• 34:26
  the special DWM where they do an overview of each season of each
• 34:30
  period up to that point, each doctor up to that point.
• 34:32
  They make the point that they come close to making a style of
• 34:36
  their own and then something cocks it up.
• 34:38
  And I think that's absolutely right.
• 34:40
  There's unforced errors. The money's not there, but the
• 34:43
  at its best, it's got a vision that's unlike anything you see
• 34:47
  maybe since Williams at its best, it doesn't have the kind
• 34:52
  of guiding hand of Williams and Reed in 15 and then Williams and
• 34:56
  Reed in in 16. It's a kind of a sense in which
• 34:59
  a lot of his accidental, I don't think, say Ward's sitting down
• 35:02
  and thinking things through. James, he certainly isn't.
• 35:04
  So even more remarkable. They get what they do on the
• 35:08
  screen. There are problems, of course
• 35:10
  there are. But I think and then and at the
• 35:12
  heart of it are this strange old couple who appear to emerge out
• 35:16
  of nowhere with this long but not that long of bibliography.
• 35:21
  And suddenly they can write for Baker.
• 35:23
  And suddenly he's the doctor again.
• 35:26
  Hello. My name is Jack Shanahan and I'm
• 35:31
  a friend of Joe Ford and I get the the great pleasure of
• 35:36
  calling him one of my best friends Joe and I met, I'm going
• 35:42
  to say. Is it over?
• 35:46
  10 years now I. Think it might be, it might be
• 35:49
  over 10 years, but I my first interaction with Joe was I had
• 35:58
  followed his blog, he wrote online Doctor Who reviews, he
• 36:03
  wrote books, he did the TV episodes.
• 36:05
  Many of them I agreed with, some I didn't agree with, but in
• 36:10
  every instance I thought he was funny and and cheeky and
• 36:16
  insightful and just argued so passionately about why the show
• 36:23
  worked when it didn't. And in general, I found his blog
• 36:27
  to be such a joyous celebration of this thing that I also loved.
• 36:31
  And one day I sent him a Facebook message just telling
• 36:39
  him how much I enjoyed, I left him a comment on a Facebook page
• 36:42
  just saying how much I enjoy reading his reviews.
• 36:45
  And then he just, and this is so Joe and I think says so much
• 36:51
  about the, the, the, the open, open heartedness and the, the
• 36:54
  free spiritedness of him, which I think carries through to the
• 37:01
  way he interacts with people on on his podcast today.
• 37:05
  He just sent me a friend request and we just started talking and,
• 37:08
  and I remember it so well because we were talking
• 37:14
  basically every day, night and day.
• 37:16
  I would be messaging him just I'd I'd never met a friend who
• 37:20
  cared so much about that show and I and I just had years of
• 37:27
  things I wanted to talk about with somebody else that I'd
• 37:30
  never been able to talk. I could do it with him and he,
• 37:33
  you know, in talking and we were, you know, at the tail end
• 37:36
  of the the Capaldi years things that we, we got so infuriated
• 37:41
  with each other and but I but I, I love that man.
• 37:44
  I love him so much with all of my heart and he has been there
• 37:50
  for me. I was even.
• 37:51
  Beyond Doctor Who, he has been there.
• 37:54
  For some real personal moments in my life and yeah yeah and I
• 38:02
  I, I think I can say I've been there for a few of his.
• 38:05
  So he is woven he's woven into me as as all of those great
• 38:11
  friends are. And of course, we, we, we ended
• 38:15
  up doing a podcast together. We, I think that if, if, if
• 38:21
  there's going to be one example, it's, we ended up talking about
• 38:25
  The Big Bang for six hours and we still could have talked for
• 38:28
  longer. And I think that tweaked
• 38:30
  something in Joe's head where it's like, maybe, maybe we can
• 38:32
  do a podcast. And we did, we did the 91 be
• 38:37
  praised. And that was it's so much fun.
• 38:41
  And I it's so hard to pick a favorite moment with Joe.
• 38:46
  I think anytime where he has left me speechless.
• 38:50
  And that is usually when he has got me laughing and also tongue
• 38:53
  tied on on an argument at the same time.
• 38:56
  Anytime he does that, it's and he's such a generous host.
• 39:00
  He he, he makes everybody feel warm.
• 39:02
  He makes everybody feel welcome. And yeah, it was absolutely
• 39:08
  magic and genuinely one of the great thrills of the last two
• 39:15
  years was getting to see him in person.
• 39:19
  We met twice, once in 2024. Yes, yes, yes, that's right,
• 39:28
  2024. I visited him in Eastbourne and,
• 39:32
  you know, it was just glorious just being, just being with him
• 39:37
  and chatting with him and, you know, just that, that that
• 39:40
  wonderful thing you get with your best friends where the day
• 39:44
  feels like it, it'll never end. And then I saw them again
• 39:48
  earlier this year. We went in London and we just
• 39:50
  went walking around talking about everything and nothing and
• 39:53
  going to as many spots in London that were recognized by Doctor
• 39:57
  Who. And if I didn't have a play to
• 40:00
  see I I could have done it for longer.
• 40:04
  Yeah, Joe is, as I'm sure other people are saying in this, in
• 40:09
  this, in this special one thousandth edition, I think
• 40:15
  everybody will be saying the same similar things to me.
• 40:18
  Joe is a beautiful human being. He is a kind, generous, funny
• 40:25
  person. And I can't think of many people
• 40:29
  who would say who would say they are not lucky for knowing him.
• 40:34
  So happy one thousandth episode. Joe, you're a marvel.
• 40:39
  I I don't know what you got planned for this episode, but
• 40:41
  I'm sure it'll be amazing. I can't wait to listen to it.
• 40:48
  Hey everyone, it's Nathan here, Joe's secret podcasting husband
• 40:51
  from Untitled Star Trek Project. I remember Hamster way back in
• 40:56
  2020 when it was just Joe on his own, finding a way to unburden
• 41:01
  himself of some urgent hot takes on the gun fighters and Tomb of
• 41:06
  the Cybermen. But almost immediately, he hit
• 41:10
  upon the perfect Doctor Who podcasting idea, inviting guests
• 41:14
  on to watch their favorite Doctor Who episode with him and
• 41:18
  to talk about why they loved it. And this wasn't just the perfect
• 41:23
  Doctor Who podcasting idea, but the perfect host for it as well.
• 41:28
  We have plenty of evidence that Joe has a lot to say, but he's
• 41:32
  also someone who listens, who puts you at ease, who draws you
• 41:37
  out, who gets you to reveal your truth.
• 41:40
  There are episodes of Hamster that sounds like conversations
• 41:44
  between old friends, even when the guest is someone Joe has
• 41:47
  never met before. And of course, the best podcasts
• 41:52
  are never just about their ostensible topic.
• 41:54
  They're also about the people who are talking about their
• 41:57
  feelings and their relationships to each other.
• 42:01
  Anyway, Hamster has branched out since then.
• 42:04
  There's interviews, the book club, Strictly members, special
• 42:08
  spinoffs. It's not just a Doctor Who
• 42:10
  commentary podcast. It's more like a vast and
• 42:13
  sprawling radio network. 40 days and more of your friends talking
• 42:19
  and laughing about Doctor Who and everything else.
• 42:23
  People to hang out with when you're walking the dog or doing
• 42:26
  the washing up or sometimes when you really just need some
• 42:30
  company. So congratulations to Joe for
• 42:34
  this staggering podcasting achievement.
• 42:36
  And here's to the 1st 10,000 episodes.
• 42:44
  Happy Millennium of podcasting, Joe.
• 42:47
  I cannot believe there are 1000 hamster episodes out there now.
• 42:50
  It was such a privilege to be involved back in it seems like
• 42:53
  the early days now. Although I thought I was a late
• 42:55
  Comer, but when we did Earth Shock commentary, I did not
• 42:58
  believe I'd be able to talk about Doctor Who for 90 minutes
• 43:02
  uninterrupted with you. Little did I know we could have
• 43:05
  easily just rewound it and done another 90 minutes by the time
• 43:07
  we finished. Great memories on Hamster of
• 43:10
  telling my tales of running around Bliss Hill Museum when I
• 43:13
  was 8 or whatever recreating Mark of the Rani and I'm sure
• 43:18
  there's many more to come and there's so many great people
• 43:20
  that have helped find their voices on here and get to know
• 43:23
  each other. Congratulations.
• 43:27
  Also, we were the first to defend Orphan 55.
• 43:31
  We were ahead of that crowd. We got that podcast out, we set
• 43:34
  the lines down. It is a work of genius.
• 43:37
  Slowly, one by one, people are starting to realise it's going
• 43:41
  to take a long time but. They'll get there and.
• 43:43
  I still won't shut up about it. Benny, Benny, Benny, Benny,
• 43:47
  Benny, Benny, Benny, Benny, Benny, Benny, Benny, Benny,
• 43:53
  Benny. Penny, Penny.
• 43:56
  Penny. Penny.
• 43:57
  Penny. Penny.
• 44:11
  Hi Joe, it's your jilted fiance Rob Valentine here.
• 44:15
  I'm in the middle of doing my research for our 12 hour
• 44:18
  commentary on the 2 1/2 hour Doctor Who story, The Time
• 44:21
  Monster. And I'm doing that by visiting
• 44:24
  the actual lost city of Atlantis and I'm a little bit lost here
• 44:28
  in the catacombs right now. However, that being said, if you
• 44:32
  find this recording, I just want you to know that hamster with a
• 44:36
  blood penknife is without a doubt the greatest Doctor Who
• 44:39
  commentary podcast in all of human history.
• 44:43
  So huge congratulations on your one thousandth episode and as
• 44:47
  long as I can find my way out of here I I should see you soon.
• 44:51
  Anyway, wish me luck. Oops.
• 44:57
  Oh no. Hello and welcome to this bit of
• 45:09
  the thousandth episode of A Hamster with a Blunt Pen Knife.
• 45:14
  1000 Hamsters with 1000 Pen knives.
• 45:18
  And still, they've got more things to cut.
• 45:22
  Well, hello Joe and all the listeners I was.
• 45:26
  I actually thought what would be fun would be if I read from the
• 45:30
  first message I ever got from Joe inviting me on because I
• 45:34
  thought it would be an interesting trip down memory
• 45:36
  lane. But I've been I've not found an
• 45:38
  easy way of of, you know, shuffling back through my
• 45:42
  messages and I'm, I've been going for about half an hour and
• 45:46
  I'm, I've only got back to the 7th of January 2024 and I can't
• 45:50
  and I'm, I can't go back any earlier than that.
• 45:52
  So what that oh, hello. It's Toby Heydo, by the way.
• 45:56
  Hello. And So what that proves is that
• 46:00
  since we do Frontios first, I think we did, didn't we, Joe?
• 46:04
  Since that first time that we convened, I think you just
• 46:08
  reached out on Facebook, did you?
• 46:10
  I don't know. As I say, I think it would have
• 46:13
  been nice to check, but I was dying of old age going back
• 46:17
  through the many messages we share.
• 46:19
  Because once you know Joe, I mean, we've probably only met in
• 46:23
  the fresh flesh two or three times some way, Joe, otherwise
• 46:27
  we'd have consummated our relationship by now.
• 46:30
  He brings out a sight in me. I you see, he does that, yes,
• 46:34
  that's the thing. That's the one thing about
• 46:35
  hamster is it's too filthy. I'm very much a PG sort of man
• 46:40
  myself, but somehow Joe makes his filth and decadence
• 46:46
  disarming. No, but what a treat.
• 46:49
  I think the podcast is great fun.
• 46:51
  I've listened to loads of them and they've introduced me to
• 46:56
  lots of other, which I really love about it.
• 46:58
  Lots of other podcast contributors who I've then
• 47:01
  sought out on other things or become friends with or at least
• 47:04
  cyber friends with. And and there's people that I
• 47:06
  go, Oh, I'll listen. I'd love to listen to that
• 47:08
  person talking about that. And of course, the strictly
• 47:12
  format, which is a great joy and has accompanied on me on on many
• 47:15
  a jog as I try to stave off the inevitable.
• 47:19
  But they're a good long format, really deep dives with, with a
• 47:23
  format that then contrives to because that's the thing you
• 47:27
  see, I found it very comforting because I get to know the people
• 47:30
  and because Joe is such a benign and cheery presence and good fun
• 47:33
  and perceptive too. He hides it, you see, but he's
• 47:36
  he's very perceptive, but he hides it with all this campery.
• 47:40
  I don't think he's even gay, you know, and, and it is friendly
• 47:45
  and it is comforting. And then you get to strictly and
• 47:48
  you come across a format which is somehow contrived to get the
• 47:51
  wrong result every time. So then the friendliness and the
• 47:54
  comfort leads you to want to punch the tram doors open, as
• 47:58
  I've done a couple of times as a carnival of monsters is not
• 48:04
  appreciated in the way that it should be.
• 48:07
  But no, it's, it's great fun and, and hearing people and, and
• 48:12
  you know, you can be too positive and you can be too
• 48:14
  negative. And what's nice about these is I
• 48:17
  think they, they balance pretty nicely.
• 48:19
  And it is sometimes refreshingly joyful when you hear Joe lay
• 48:23
  into a story that he really, really doesn't like because you
• 48:28
  know that he's not one of those sort of serially tedious people
• 48:33
  who just hates on everything. So it's if if he doesn't like
• 48:36
  it, it's really earned it. But mostly it's a good gang of
• 48:40
  people all hustled together by a really, really good person whose
• 48:46
  company I enjoy. And the fact that it's taken me
• 48:48
  so long to go through all these messages for, as I say, somebody
• 48:51
  I've I've barely spent much time in the same room as.
• 48:54
  But you know, he's good to confide in and he's good to chat
• 48:58
  to late at night and, and, and sometimes, you know, has, has
• 49:05
  lifted me when I've been in need of lifting.
• 49:08
  So it's more than just a podcast.
• 49:10
  It's a, it's a community and it's a way of life.
• 49:13
  And I'm glad there are 1000 episodes because some days
• 49:18
  that's what you need to get you through the week.
• 49:21
  So here's to another thousand more.
• 49:24
  But here's and here's to the whole gang, everybody or the ham
• 49:28
  fam, but mostly to lovely Joe, who I think is one of the the
• 49:32
  the kindest and most adorable people.
• 49:34
  And irrespective of that, a very good podcaster, very good
• 49:38
  broadcaster and a prolific workload that he has, which just
• 49:44
  goes to show that it could be a life well spent during this
• 49:48
  stupid programme. So happy 1000 additions.
• 49:54
  I'm I'm delighted to have been asked to be on it.
• 49:56
  The amount that I have and I look forward to the ones we
• 49:59
  still have to come. And I noticed one of our
• 50:02
  messages says, are you are you free to do the giggle anytime
• 50:05
  soon? We still haven't done that.
• 50:06
  You've stopped asking. I'm I'm sorry about that.
• 50:08
  So you see, it's not Yeah, sorry.
• 50:11
  But we can do what we can. Happy thousandth birthday from
• 50:16
  me, Toby to Jo and all the ham fam and the listener, the
• 50:21
  listeners out there. Yeah, here's to the next
• 50:25
  thousand keep. Let's get that pen knife
• 50:27
  sharpened. Right, this one's for Joe Joe,
• 50:31
  and he's paid OK. Hello, Joe.
• 50:39
  It's book club personality Michael Mills here.
• 50:41
  Well, a little birdie tells me it's the one thousandth episode
• 50:45
  of a hamster with a blunt pen knife.
• 50:48
  Well, that really is something. And I couldn't let it go by
• 50:51
  without just dropping by to say well done, mate.
• 50:55
  When I think back across all of those books we've read, I, well,
• 50:59
  I have a lot of feelings and many of them are good.
• 51:02
  So I just wanted to say congratulations and thanks for
• 51:05
  being a fan. And yeah, you just you, you, you
• 51:08
  keep on at it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 51:11
  Anyway, thanks. 1000 episodes of Hamster.
• 51:20
  Wow, that is some achievement. Well done.
• 51:23
  What's that in numbers though? That must be what?
• 51:26
  10,000 bits of smut? 5000 stop bits. 2000 wrong
• 51:32
  opinions. Dad teasing you?
• 51:36
  Hamster has always been the place where people can come and
• 51:38
  express their opinions, no matter how daft and ridiculous,
• 51:43
  and it's always been a safe space for them to do that, which
• 51:46
  I think is one of the most important things about this
• 51:51
  little podcast you have going. My best memory of Hamster's got
• 51:58
  to be the very first one I did. I can still remember sitting
• 52:02
  there at 7:30 with my copy of the Space Museum ready to go,
• 52:07
  and obviously you've thought we'll be recording at 8:00, so
• 52:10
  for a good 1520 minutes I thought you'd stored me up.
• 52:14
  So that didn't help any nerves that I had to go on into that.
• 52:18
  I think I'd finished my beer by the time you'd actually appeared
• 52:21
  on my screen, but you were just so effortless in hosting someone
• 52:27
  new, someone inexperienced, someone who had a ton of
• 52:30
  opinions in the head to get out. That didn't matter.
• 52:34
  By the time we were done that, I was very much ready for the next
• 52:37
  1. And thankfully, again, I got
• 52:39
  that opportunity quite quick. And Blimey, where's it gone from
• 52:44
  there? I've been all over the place,
• 52:46
  haven't we? We've been Terra Alpha shortage
• 52:49
  in 1963, Leadworth Duck Pond, everywhere in between.
• 52:56
  Obviously we haven't always been alone.
• 52:58
  We've had someone that not many people have heard of, Simon Hart
• 53:01
  along with us as well. And that's been another absolute
• 53:05
  joy of this experience is that friendship that we've built up,
• 53:11
  me and you, and also the one that we've built up with Simon
• 53:14
  as well. And it's all come through
• 53:19
  hamster with a blood pen knife, hasn't it?
• 53:21
  Well, all those laughs, all those laughs that we've had, the
• 53:28
  journeys, we've been on Metabolis 3, Scar Row, too many
• 53:35
  to mention, Seville, Atrios, the half of the other people.
• 53:44
  Come on Hamster though, And I think that's bringing it back to
• 53:48
  the the start, that is. And again, one of the key
• 53:51
  elements of Hamster that makes it such a success is the new
• 53:55
  voices that you keep finding. I was one of them.
• 53:58
  I had my time, but they're still coming through.
• 54:02
  People who are getting that opportunity to get out there and
• 54:07
  get heard, seeing wonderful, incredibly funny, incredibly
• 54:11
  clever, incredibly daft things, you know, going on to make their
• 54:16
  own podcasts off the back of what you've given them the
• 54:19
  opportunity to do. So it's just a magical thing,
• 54:24
  Hamster. It's, it's more than a podcast.
• 54:27
  It's more than just talking about Doctor Who or books or
• 54:31
  anything like that. It's, it's a family now.
• 54:34
  It's a community. It's a place where people come
• 54:36
  together to make friends and enjoy each other's company and
• 54:42
  laugh. That's the thing.
• 54:44
  I'll always take away the friendships and the laughs.
• 54:47
  So let's keep doing it. Let's keep laughing our way
• 54:51
  through the world of Doctor Who. Let's keep disagreeing with each
• 54:55
  other, let's keep bickering, let's keep calling each other
• 54:58
  names, but let's keep coming back and laughing all the time.
• 55:02
  He has another thousand episodes.
• 55:04
  Merry birthday, hamster. Hello there.
• 55:09
  This is a message for Joe and everybody who listens to or has
• 55:13
  contributed in any way to a hamster with a blunt pen knife
• 55:17
  over the 1000 episodes. So congratulations to all and
• 55:24
  may it last a very long, long, long, long, long, long time.
• 55:30
  Congratulations. Hello Joe, it's your biggest
• 55:35
  hoe. Luke Malloy here to say
• 55:36
  congratulations on 1000 podcasts.
• 55:39
  Yes, as Clara Oswald would say, Oh my stars, that is beyond
• 55:45
  crazy and impressive. Well done you silly and sexy
• 55:49
  man, for bringing so much joy and creating a community, a
• 55:52
  space in the whole universe full of brilliant, insightful, dirty.
• 55:57
  That's you, Dylan Reece, clever, funny people and me.
• 56:02
  But I must actually point out, you've actually done 1001
• 56:06
  podcasts. Yes, there is a missing episode
• 56:09
  of Hamster with a Bumper. Now if Joe knows what I'm on
• 56:12
  about, it's my debut Lover Monsters the drunk cut.
• 56:17
  The first time we recorded or and met each other, I came
• 56:21
  straight from work's Christmas party and was drunk off my face
• 56:25
  and Joe sat and watched the whole of Lover Monsters If we a
• 56:29
  little bemused but we had a hoot.
• 56:32
  And then the next day the anxiety kicked in and it begged
• 56:34
  him not to release it, so he didn't.
• 56:37
  And he offered to re record it. Not many people watched Lover
• 56:40
  Monsters twice in a few days, but this is Joe Ford, Mr.
• 56:44
  Hamster, Mr. Doctor, oh ho, he loves it, especially if he
• 56:49
  doesn't have Matt Smith in it. And he shares it amongst other
• 56:52
  things with the world, this passion with the world.
• 56:55
  And that's what Strictly is all about.
• 56:56
  And then we went to AKA 10 Demon Drone, Delta Magna and Nick
• 57:01
  Briggs's hotel bedroom. Here's a toaster Hamster.
• 57:05
  Well done on 1000 podcasts. May you and Hamster never not be
• 57:10
  magnificent. Joe Ford 1000 episodes.
• 57:18
  You bloody loser. Haven't you got anything better
• 57:21
  to do with your time than talk about fucking Doctor Who?
• 57:24
  I joke of course. Joe, it is so amazing you've
• 57:28
  reached 1000 episodes. I think back to our first date
• 57:31
  where I came armed with lots of facts and figures about the
• 57:34
  Daleks master plan. Did all my homework, watched the
• 57:37
  episode, then watched it again with the info text commentary,
• 57:41
  then watched again with the common tree.
• 57:44
  So I was, I was ready to go and talk about Doctor Who.
• 57:47
  Now I'm lucky if I've watched the episode I just show up and
• 57:50
  make some knob gags. What a treat it's been, What a
• 57:53
  pleasure it's been. All the friendships forged along
• 57:56
  the way, all the arguments had late night messages about Rusty
• 58:00
  Davis. Two, you jumping to its defence,
• 58:03
  me calling it the worst bit of television in the world.
• 58:06
  We've had sometimes what fun was had and what a pleasure it's
• 58:10
  been to get to know you and and the entire ham fam and it is a
• 58:14
  fam and sometimes I think we are all your children.
• 58:22
  Sorry I just threw up my internal organs.
• 58:24
  Love you Joe, can't wait to do many more podcasts with you.
• 58:29
  Hello, Joe and hello hamster family.
• 58:32
  It's Stephen B here. I just wanted to say
• 58:35
  congratulations on 1000 shows. I mean, really, we should have
• 58:39
  been congratulating you at 100 shows, but you've done that 10
• 58:44
  times over, an incredible feat, and every hour, every minute, an
• 58:50
  absolute joy and a delight for me.
• 58:52
  On a personal level You've got me through some difficult times,
• 58:57
  you and everybody over the last few years and I don't know where
• 59:02
  I would be without the daily dose of sanity and some might
• 59:06
  say insanity. Obviously smart.
• 59:08
  That comes from Hamster and your good self Joe.
• 59:13
  The highlight I guess of the last five years was actually
• 59:15
  meeting you in person and well, I don't know what happened to
• 59:20
  that week or so, but it went by in a flash and the whole time we
• 59:24
  were just chatting away. Remarkable really.
• 59:28
  You've built an incredible community of like minded and
• 59:33
  differently minded songs which is a wonderful thing to see.
• 59:37
  But all of them good souls. It is an incredible feat to not
• 59:43
  just reach 1000 episodes, but to bring so many people together,
• 59:49
  many of us who actually needed it.
• 59:53
  Well, Congrats. Thank you again be seeing you.
• 1:00:00
  Hello Joe, it's Lee from the Polish Box.
• 1:00:02
  So what a milestone. And you don't look a day over
• 1:00:06
  999 too 1000 episodes. Not only is it a massive amount
• 1:00:12
  of hamster content, but you also join an exclusive Doctor Who
• 1:00:16
  club, the 1000 Club 1000. The same amount of anecdotes
• 1:00:22
  that have to be edited out of any recordings of John Levine's
• 1:00:25
  most recent convention appearances 1000.
• 1:00:29
  The same amount of secret families that Patrick Truman
• 1:00:32
  had, 1000. The amount of takes needed to
• 1:00:36
  make Lee Jones seem natural at a ship's wheel 1000.
• 1:00:41
  The same amount of pounds sterling it costs to get a
• 1:00:44
  photograph of Shooty Gatwa or Christopher Egleston.
• 1:00:47
  London Comic Con Joking aside, 1000 episodes is a staggering.
• 1:00:52
  Amount We've been on the go for nine years and we'll only just
• 1:00:55
  come up to 100th episode. You're a machine got a well
• 1:00:59
  oiled machine that's churning out commentaries strictly in
• 1:01:02
  interviews that are consistently engaging and entertaining.
• 1:01:06
  You've got a real knack of getting the best out of your
• 1:01:08
  guests, making each episode something to look forward to.
• 1:01:12
  That and the downright filth as well.
• 1:01:15
  Here's the next 1000 Hamsters Lang me your lum reek.
• 1:01:20
  Hello, Cameron here, the moral compass of the Polish box.
• 1:01:24
  Just stopping by to congratulate you on 1000 episodes of Hamster,
• 1:01:28
  which is an insane amount. I've just been Googling about
• 1:01:31
  1000 episodes of other TV shows and media and things like that,
• 1:01:34
  and you're in good company. There's Emmerdale, there's
• 1:01:38
  EastEnders, there's Coronation Street and also apparently Cash
• 1:01:41
  in the Attic, so well done on that one.
• 1:01:44
  Here's to 1000 more. And again, congratulations on
• 1:01:48
  your glorious, consistent and joyful output.
• 1:01:53
  Thank you very much. Hello, this is me, James Lark,
• 1:01:58
  and I'm here to say congratulations.
• 1:02:01
  Not just to Joe Ford, though they are very well deserved, but
• 1:02:04
  to the whole ham fam for enduring and enjoying so many
• 1:02:08
  podcasts. I mean, who'd have thought it?
• 1:02:12
  A million podcasts? It's pretty hard to fathom,
• 1:02:14
  isn't it? So many hours of broadcasting,
• 1:02:17
  so many opinions shared, some of them correct, many more of them
• 1:02:22
  not so much. And so many memories formed as
• 1:02:25
  well. When I think back, what do I
• 1:02:26
  think of when I think of comparing my misspent teenage
• 1:02:30
  love life with Joe's? His was rather more misspent
• 1:02:32
  than mine, to be honest. Or sitting up until 4:00 in the
• 1:02:35
  morning doing impersonations of Georgina Hale.
• 1:02:37
  But. The thing that comes to mind
• 1:02:39
  first of all is simply watching things like Daleks Invasion
• 1:02:42
  Earth 2150 AD or Delton the Bannerman and having the very
• 1:02:46
  best time ever. I also think back to the many
• 1:02:50
  wonderful, lovely people who I've met through the podcast,
• 1:02:53
  and that's been a great pleasure as well.
• 1:02:55
  Great joy. Joe, you've done an incredible
• 1:02:58
  thing here. I mean, consider the careers
• 1:02:59
  you've launched people who are unknown to the Internet before
• 1:03:03
  you made them famous. The likes of Fraser Gregory,
• 1:03:06
  Michael Mills, John Arnold and his even more successful 21st
• 1:03:10
  century reboot, Eddie, Luke Sims Jenkins, Sigh her hat.
• 1:03:15
  I think that says sigh hat. Dylan Reece, Toby Hadoke,
• 1:03:19
  Matthew Waterhouse, Sophie Aldred, Tom Baker, all complete
• 1:03:23
  unknowns before you pulled them from obscurity and and put them
• 1:03:26
  into the public eye. And I would add to that list
• 1:03:28
  myself. Before I came on a hamster with
• 1:03:32
  a blood hen knife, I was a humble music teacher.
• 1:03:35
  Now, after after the many podcasts I've done with Joe,
• 1:03:38
  I'm. Well, actually I'm.
• 1:03:41
  Unemployed. So the main point of this
• 1:03:44
  message really is to say that if anyone does need a job in
• 1:03:47
  composer, I am now free. But I also wanted to say Many
• 1:03:53
  thanks to all of you, but to Joe especially for all of the fun.
• 1:03:56
  This is a wonderful institution and indeed family and one that I
• 1:04:03
  am incredibly proud to be a part of.
• 1:04:06
  So thank you all. And as they say in Delta and the
• 1:04:10
  Bannerman, here's to the future. But I'm going to say today also,
• 1:04:14
  here's to the past. Because it was.
• 1:04:16
  Bloody fabulous. Hello and welcome back to a
• 1:04:19
  Hamster with Lamp Pen knife. The only Doctor Who commentary
• 1:04:24
  podcast with the BBC shows such little concern towards that they
• 1:04:30
  can't even be bothered to put there any copyright claims
• 1:04:33
  against it. I'm your Co host this evening,
• 1:04:36
  Mister Jack Royal, and today we're going to be reflecting on
• 1:04:40
  the big anniversary. Yes, that's right, one 1000
• 1:04:45
  episodes. Will we get to 1001?
• 1:04:50
  I'm not quite sure, but for now, let's celebrate like we are at
• 1:04:54
  the end of the reality war. At the end of this podcast,
• 1:04:58
  Joe's voice will hopefully film into Billie Piper's and will
• 1:05:03
  reflect on the journey that we've been on.
• 1:05:06
  My journey with Joe has been made in person.
• 1:05:09
  One lots of Blaze missed messages talking.
• 1:05:16
  It started fully gosh a few years ago now when I was looking
• 1:05:21
  for some Doctor Who content to be listening to when I was a
• 1:05:25
  kid. I really liked listening to a
• 1:05:28
  lot of the audio commentaries for episodes of the symptoms
• 1:05:32
  that came with the DVDs for Michelle.
• 1:05:35
  If you're a firm of symptoms and these DVD collections, you'll be
• 1:05:39
  aware of the creative behind the show, doing commentary tracks
• 1:05:45
  for the episodes and giving thoughts about their creative
• 1:05:49
  decisions, humours, anecdotes about Crest stars and perhaps
• 1:05:55
  with great things that might not be able to be broadcast in 2025.
• 1:06:01
  This might sound familiar to you if you listen up to the
• 1:06:04
  Hampshire and Penn My podcast, because it's kind of a format
• 1:06:08
  that this show has taken on over the years, except it's a lot
• 1:06:12
  more there for Joe to be able to persuade creators who actually
• 1:06:16
  worked on the program to be able to contribute to this show.
• 1:06:21
  I have been a fan of Doctor Who and it's general spin off free
• 1:06:26
  media for just about as long as the main show has been back in
• 1:06:32
  the 21st century at least, and I've been looking for some spare
• 1:06:37
  content to fill the gap in terms of, you know, fan discussion on
• 1:06:44
  the project. I've been a fan of the far
• 1:06:48
  Superior podcast site for entirety for a few years up to
• 1:06:51
  that point and was very excited to look further into the people
• 1:06:56
  who helped create that show, some of whom have been on this
• 1:06:59
  program and found me from Bottleney's commentaries doing a
• 1:07:03
  commentary on the aliens of London.
• 1:07:06
  Obviously I had to tolerate that it was on the show.
• 1:07:08
  I was not yet aware. Of course, the Hampton Pen mine.
• 1:07:12
  This was if you scroll through your podcast themes and keep
• 1:07:16
  scrolling, keep scrolling a bit more.
• 1:07:20
  One of the very, very early episodes of the show, perhaps
• 1:07:27
  even in the first item at 5 first ten joke.
• 1:07:31
  I made it out. Whichever one of those answers
• 1:07:33
  is incorrect. So the point being that I
• 1:07:38
  virtually gravitated towards Hamster and towards a lot of
• 1:07:42
  Joe's content. I enjoy a lot of discussions and
• 1:07:45
  it's always fun to think about the creative decisions that went
• 1:07:50
  into dodging stories as we're experiencing them live because
• 1:07:54
  there are things that pop up on the screen that we can react to
• 1:07:58
  a lot of that cry at, and it's all part of the fan experience
• 1:08:03
  that we succumbed to. But I was under the impression
• 1:08:07
  that much, much like for the entirety, most of the guests
• 1:08:11
  that Joe invited to be on the programme were friends of it.
• 1:08:15
  About a year or so after I've been listening to the show, Joe
• 1:08:18
  Ford puts out a tweet that says, just to let you know, anyone can
• 1:08:24
  come on and do the comment film Hamster.
• 1:08:27
  And it reminded me of one of my favorite symptoms, Joe, where
• 1:08:30
  they're looking for people to run the male at Springfield and
• 1:08:34
  there's someone comments that would give me somebody else.
• 1:08:38
  Springfield meets somebody else and Homer goes, I'm someone
• 1:08:43
  else. And someone else says, that's
• 1:08:45
  right, he is Hooray for someone else.
• 1:08:48
  And with the audacity and unearned confidence of Homer
• 1:08:54
  Simpson, I stumbled into Gelford's tour to mentions to
• 1:08:58
  say, hey, I'm someone else and I'd like to be on the program.
• 1:09:02
  Joe was surprisingly and rather gratefully, quite happy to have
• 1:09:08
  someone else who didn't particularly have any podcasting
• 1:09:11
  experience to be on the show, and he asked what episode I'd
• 1:09:15
  like to do now. I don't always feel comfortable
• 1:09:19
  speaking to online strangers for the first time.
• 1:09:23
  It's a lot easier to speak them into a microphone to nobody in
• 1:09:26
  particular. So I thought I need to come up
• 1:09:29
  with a story. But whilst I may enjoy it and I
• 1:09:32
  have things to say about it or completely unloved or unthought
• 1:09:40
  of by the general Doctor audience, that's the worst thing
• 1:09:43
  that could happen is if I go in for strangers Twitter DMS and
• 1:09:48
  say hey, has anyone come up with the original idea?
• 1:09:52
  I'm having a conversation about Genesis of the Darling's with
• 1:09:55
  500 Bloody Time. So I thought hey, one piece of
• 1:09:59
  Doctor Who ephemera that I quite like.
• 1:10:02
  If we quaint, spooky, eerie, eerie destruction, AKA eerie
• 1:10:07
  destruction and we brink of disaster.
• 1:10:10
  The two parts that Joe has rather not helpfully labeled
• 1:10:15
  those episodes on his podcast to make it a little bit more
• 1:10:18
  difficult for anyone to actually find them if they wanted to
• 1:10:22
  listen to him now. And so Joseph, Oh, really?
• 1:10:26
  We have to do something. Well, OK, if you're sure.
• 1:10:28
  And we turn up and we have quite a good time, didn't we?
• 1:10:31
  Again, I feel a good thing. Anyway, I'm still talking to him
• 1:10:34
  now four years later, so I can only assume we did.
• 1:10:37
  I thought of doing a commentary of our commentary as acquainted
• 1:10:42
  entry into this program, but then I looked it up and saw it's
• 1:10:46
  37 minutes for the first episode, only knows how many
• 1:10:50
  minutes of a blanket disaster episode, and I thought about
• 1:10:53
  being a little bit too much to bear.
• 1:10:55
  But I've listened back to it recently and I thought we have a
• 1:10:58
  jolly good time for people, Two people who barely spoke to each
• 1:11:02
  other at that point. It was a marvellous way to look
• 1:11:06
  at a piece of Doctor Who that I feel is quite unloved to this
• 1:11:09
  day even. And we have a really good
• 1:11:12
  conversation about the creativity behind it, the angle
• 1:11:17
  that David was could take for the first season, the
• 1:11:20
  interesting direction from Richard Martin, you know, that
• 1:11:23
  all came up in conversation. But what I thought was I can do
• 1:11:28
  this and I can make a difference.
• 1:11:31
  Even if it's talking about a quaint little Doctor's story
• 1:11:35
  that even other Doctor's fans can't really remember.
• 1:11:38
  Many of you, some of you might hear from me speaking to you
• 1:11:42
  now, but I grew up and indeed still grow up to this day with
• 1:11:48
  several disabilities and health conditions, some of which affect
• 1:11:53
  my communication with them. Verbal they make it a little bit
• 1:11:57
  more difficult for me to interact with the everyday
• 1:12:00
  world, particularly with people who I've not spoken to before.
• 1:12:04
  So when I made the foolhardy decision to leap into the world
• 1:12:09
  of Doctor Who podcasting an area be intimate thought with danger
• 1:12:15
  and controversy, I have second thoughts about it because I
• 1:12:19
  thought, well, what have I rushed into it the way no one
• 1:12:22
  understands me. I didn't have a particularly
• 1:12:24
  fancy microphone. I didn't have any particularly
• 1:12:27
  fancy credentials or ideas to share.
• 1:12:31
  I just wanted to have a space where I could talk to people
• 1:12:34
  about anything about topic about hobby that I've enjoyed for many
• 1:12:40
  years now, and we'll see how it goes.
• 1:12:42
  And apparently it went quite well.
• 1:12:45
  I'm not Privy to the analytics and the optics of each other.
• 1:12:51
  So apparently they were quite successful.
• 1:12:53
  And most importantly, I felt successful.
• 1:12:58
  And I think that's the real benefit of this show.
• 1:13:01
  A lot of it makes us feel like we've done some England we've we
• 1:13:06
  have got in touch with people, we've made new connections.
• 1:13:09
  You know, we occasionally get acted on Twitter, which is quite
• 1:13:13
  interesting to the, you know, mentioned by name on a social
• 1:13:17
  media platform by a bunch of strangers and you get in touch
• 1:13:21
  with people who you've been expected to get in touch with.
• 1:13:24
  Soon after our such episode came out, I received a message from
• 1:13:31
  Mrs. Stephen B from Me Me the Hoop Podcast and of This Parish
• 1:13:36
  who said that he really enjoyed our episodes on the destruction
• 1:13:41
  story and one baby boy helped me have anything else online but
• 1:13:45
  would be worth checking out. I didn't really, but now I think
• 1:13:50
  I didn't in the sense that he's given me some friendships.
• 1:13:53
  Stephen and Joe and other people that have lost it to this day.
• 1:13:59
  I say to this day, I haven't checked my DMS this morning.
• 1:14:03
  So let's say to at least to yesterday and has given me the
• 1:14:06
  opportunity to speak in a way that I didn't feel quite good
• 1:14:11
  before and, you know, to contribute to discussions that I
• 1:14:15
  didn't mind not to consider myself worthy of contributing
• 1:14:19
  to. We've gone all around the houses
• 1:14:21
  of doctors who's past to present, talking about stories
• 1:14:26
  as their readers witch finders and the stories of season 10
• 1:14:31
  done purple season 10, where myself and the wonderful gem
• 1:14:34
  Arnold managed to correct the much like a herd of cattle.
• 1:14:39
  We herded Joe and robbed him to making me correct to us, which
• 1:14:43
  was quite there. So the audience had certainly
• 1:14:46
  come hamster might be aware of. Oh, we talked about the time
• 1:14:49
  monster with Stephen B and the awakening.
• 1:14:52
  If you have enough money from remortgaging your house, you
• 1:14:56
  might be able to subscribe to The Hamster with a Blunt Pen
• 1:14:59
  Knife Patreon where we talk about stories like Amy's Choice.
• 1:15:03
  He's even persuaded me to possibly pick up a book and
• 1:15:07
  we've adopted a book. Some of the things which are
• 1:15:12
  much like Rd. traffic accidents, something which I'm aware of but
• 1:15:17
  often hide in shame to avoid. This is my very long winded way
• 1:15:22
  of saying that I'm pleased for the experience that's been given
• 1:15:27
  to me as being a part of this community and I hope to be there
• 1:15:31
  in the future to see Joe's eventual Internet cancellation.
• 1:15:37
  But what will it be for? Will it be for pronouncing it?
• 1:15:40
  Say it was name incorrectly? Will it be for acting member?
• 1:15:44
  The assumption, based on his impressions of every person has
• 1:15:48
  ever been in front of or behind the camera on Doctor Who.
• 1:15:52
  But they all sound a bit like so.
• 1:15:54
  Mr. McCoy, do that. But whatever happens, I'm
• 1:15:57
  excited to see what comes next. So keep those hamster wheels
• 1:16:03
  spinning, and may your penknife remain ever sharpened.
• 1:16:09
  Goodbye. Hello the hand fan.
• 1:16:11
  Now I've heard from Joe, who is still a Lily white virgin.
• 1:16:16
  Say nothing. He sends you all this message.
• 1:16:19
  Pin back your luggles. Merry Christmas to you all and
• 1:16:23
  thank you for listening throughout the year.
• 1:16:25
  You're all a load of silly bitches who have been naughty.
• 1:16:30
  Oh, fair enough. Kim is now our podcast heroine.
• 1:16:34
  Well, don't start blaming me too.
• 1:16:36
  You said to say it. The third message this is.
• 1:16:39
  Oh well, well. So I probably I'm a.
• 1:16:41
  Heroine. Really.
• 1:16:42
  Yes I am. Here's to 2024, you sluts that.
• 1:16:46
  Has. Nothing to say, dear virgin.
• 1:16:54
  Oh please. Hello everyone and
• 1:17:03
  congratulations to Mr. Joe Forward for 1000 episodes of
• 1:17:08
  Hamster with a Blunt Pen Knife. Now, if it wasn't for Mr. Joe, I
• 1:17:13
  wouldn't have made so many wonderful, wonderful friends,
• 1:17:18
  not only through the book club that I do with him, but he also
• 1:17:21
  inspired me to do the shameless plug, the Mar and Chess club.
• 1:17:26
  And that's allowed me to make even more Doctor Who friends and
• 1:17:30
  talk about all kinds of things. So I just want to say thank you
• 1:17:34
  to Joe. Congratulations once again on
• 1:17:37
  1000 episodes and here's to 1000 more.
• 1:17:41
  It is my name. Love you.
• 1:17:43
  Hello Joe, and hello Hamfelm. I suppose.
• 1:17:47
  Oh, I sound a bit less excitable than I usually am on these
• 1:17:50
  things. Maybe that's because I've only
• 1:17:52
  had one coffee today. It won't last anyway.
• 1:17:57
  It only seems like yesterday that.
• 1:17:59
  Oh, that sounds so cliche, doesn't it?
• 1:18:02
  It only seems like yesterday anyway.
• 1:18:07
  I first came across a hamster with a blunt pen knife in my
• 1:18:10
  kitchen in late 2022 by Get This Name searching Doctor Who
• 1:18:16
  podcast to listen to and coming across the very nice voices of
• 1:18:21
  Mr. Daniel Knight, another Daniel like me, and Mr. Joe
• 1:18:26
  Ford, who I was shocked to discover was none other than
• 1:18:30
  Dokoho, that very opinionated Doctor Who Blogger I've been
• 1:18:34
  reading over the past year and a half.
• 1:18:37
  I remember being slightly confused by the format at first,
• 1:18:40
  Like, this is a commentary podcast, so why are these two
• 1:18:44
  guys talking about anything else than the episode itself?
• 1:18:48
  I quickly learned when I started recording with Joe that that's
• 1:18:51
  the beauty of it. That's why people listen to
• 1:18:54
  podcast. It's it's that feeling of being
• 1:18:57
  over at your mate's house, however far away you might live
• 1:18:59
  from each other in in real life. But yeah, I quickly fell in love
• 1:19:03
  with the format because above all, I felt it really celebrates
• 1:19:08
  Doctor Who, all of Doctor Who, even the silliest Doctor Who,
• 1:19:12
  and remembers to have a good laugh about it along the way.
• 1:19:17
  And and that's why we love it, I think.
• 1:19:19
  And it's, I think that's such a beautiful mission statement.
• 1:19:23
  So I just wanted to say an enormous thank you to Joe and to
• 1:19:28
  the whole hamster community at large for being so kind and
• 1:19:33
  friendly and warm and welcoming, fulfilling my days with so many
• 1:19:39
  different smart, talented, funny, comforting, argumentative
• 1:19:44
  people and, and all their mad and insightful and, and frankly
• 1:19:47
  filthy opinions. For making me feel more
• 1:19:51
  connected to Doctor Who than I think I ever have since I first
• 1:19:55
  started watching. I mean the guests, the
• 1:19:57
  commentaries, the disagreements, the the book clubs, the The
• 1:20:01
  Strictly's 1000 episodes, 1000 episodes.
• 1:20:07
  And also for making me laugh more than I think I ever have in
• 1:20:12
  years. It brings me a special kind of
• 1:20:14
  happiness that you can't really quantify in words, so I'm not
• 1:20:18
  going to, but I'm just so grateful to be a part of it.
• 1:20:22
  And if you will allow me one more cliche, maybe the real
• 1:20:26
  Doctor Who was all the friends we made along the way.
• 1:20:31
  So congratulations to Joe, congratulations to all the
• 1:20:35
  hamsters out there. And here's to 1000 more.
• 1:20:38
  Bravo. Hello Joe.
• 1:20:47
  It's Ian from the podcast. We're All Stories in the End and
• 1:20:51
  the podcast, All of Time and Space and the Electric Sod cast
• 1:20:57
  and I have like a sort of lifetime membership to Strangers
• 1:21:01
  in Space, so I'm on that from time to time as well.
• 1:21:05
  Where else could you listeners? Hey, you know what?
• 1:21:08
  This is not about me, this is about you Joe mate.
• 1:21:11
  This is about you reaching 1000 episodes of a podcast, which is
• 1:21:18
  absolutely astonishing to think of.
• 1:21:22
  Me personally, I feel like a tired, jaded old hand at the
• 1:21:26
  podcasting game, and I've probably been on maybe 300.
• 1:21:32
  So the fact that you've reached 1000 speaks to your, I don't
• 1:21:37
  know, dedication, professionalism, deep desire to
• 1:21:41
  please an awful lot of fans, or it speaks to you being some
• 1:21:47
  kind. Of I don't.
• 1:21:48
  Know megalomaniac. Psychopath.
• 1:21:52
  Yeah, I don't know how to. Call that one.
• 1:21:55
  And aware that we've sort of blundered into an awkward
• 1:21:59
  silence. Shit.
• 1:22:09
  Hi folks, it's Andrew Martin here, and I'd like to say huge,
• 1:22:12
  wibbly wobbly congratulations to you and the rest of the Ham fam
• 1:22:17
  on reaching 1000. Fun, fascinating and often,
• 1:22:20
  well, filthy episodes. That's probably enough to make
• 1:22:24
  even a Dalek wince, or at least make its beady eyed stem twitch.
• 1:22:29
  Anyway, keep up the great work and I look forward to finding
• 1:22:32
  the time to listen to the next 1000 episodes.
• 1:22:35
  And oh hang on, sorry, there's some old woman outside my window
• 1:22:40
  shouting about something. Anyway, Congrats, got to go bye
• 1:22:45
  1000 episodes, eh? That makes it a big finish of
• 1:22:49
  Doctor podcasting. Maybe the Nick Briggs, I don't
• 1:22:53
  know. Well, I think I started by, or
• 1:22:58
  was it the Strictly season 10 where we voted Carnival monsters
• 1:23:02
  the worst and gave Toby, Hey Toby, permanent apoplexy,
• 1:23:09
  followed up by going big with the defending legend of the Sea
• 1:23:13
  Devils and yeah, the father and son Joy where obviously I have
• 1:23:20
  the superior taste. But most of all, it's been
• 1:23:27
  getting the Hamster Book Club and talking the pure joy of
• 1:23:34
  Doctor Who books, good and bad with three of the finest people
• 1:23:39
  on this or any other planet. And just what a magnificent
• 1:23:46
  community you've built around all this.
• 1:23:49
  It's an absolute joy to be part of it.
• 1:23:51
  And here's to the next accent. Congratulations to the house for
• 1:23:56
  the bloody pen Knife for reaching the thousandth episode.
• 1:24:00
  I'm really proud to have taken part in a few of these and to
• 1:24:04
  been commenting for quite a while as well.
• 1:24:07
  Quite weird how I even stumbled upon it.
• 1:24:09
  In fact it was. It was just a regular morning
• 1:24:12
  when I was waiting for his stuff to start up and I just came
• 1:24:15
  across the comments for thoughts on a strictly season.
• 1:24:20
  And I, I left my opinions and then I happened to notify my
• 1:24:26
  father who told me he already knew about it because he was
• 1:24:29
  getting involved in it as well. So when I found out about that,
• 1:24:34
  I was I was fairly surprised. And then eventually it got to it
• 1:24:40
  got to a point where he started messaging with Joe and whatnot
• 1:24:45
  and God knows what they've been getting up to.
• 1:24:47
  I don't even want to check what they've been talking about.
• 1:24:51
  The point is when he was talking, eventually the topic
• 1:24:55
  came up of the father and son podcasting and he was discussing
• 1:25:01
  stories we liked and disliked. And Joe said it would be a great
• 1:25:06
  idea to get us both on to argue to get it.
• 1:25:09
  And I just went, yeah, I do that every day.
• 1:25:11
  It's not, it's not like it would be for an act or anything.
• 1:25:14
  So whatever. And then it all rolled on from
• 1:25:17
  there. And I'm very happy to have taken
• 1:25:21
  part in the three that I have done as a recording this message
• 1:25:25
  and look forward to taking part in many more.
• 1:25:28
  And also, just as a quick insult to my father, F you Hello, it's
• 1:25:34
  Anthony Caro. It's well, one of them anyway.
• 1:25:36
  And I just want to wish a happy birthday to all of the ham fam
• 1:25:39
  celebrating this one thousandth episode.
• 1:25:42
  It's, I don't think a number that the show's going to be
• 1:25:44
  reaching at this point, but it's great that you have because
• 1:25:48
  you've been exploring so much of Doctor Who and it's adjacent
• 1:25:52
  enterprises, shall we say, throughout the years.
• 1:25:55
  So I've been really happy to be part of that exploring things
• 1:25:59
  like some 8th Doctor books, some of the targets I've never read.
• 1:26:02
  I but also I think my favorite moment was when we covered the
• 1:26:07
  plotters by David Agnew and we just kept attempting to do
• 1:26:12
  various impersonations of King James in the style of Alan
• 1:26:17
  Cumming and the Witch Finders. So I thought to just reminisce,
• 1:26:21
  even though it was a recent episode.
• 1:26:23
  I'll redo one of those points where King James is chasing the
• 1:26:29
  wee lassie. You can't know if you don't like
• 1:26:34
  a thing until you've tried it. Dip a little toe in the water
• 1:26:39
  and who knows, you might be swimming like a duck.
• 1:26:44
  I promise you, if you let the King have his way, you'll get a
• 1:26:49
  lovely surprise. Happy one thousandth episode.
• 1:26:56
  Hi, it's Lucy here. Congratulations on reaching 1000
• 1:27:00
  episodes of Hamster with a blunt pen knife. 1000 episodes.
• 1:27:04
  Amazing. Thank you for welcoming me to
• 1:27:08
  the world of podcasting. My very first podcast was when
• 1:27:11
  we talked about the clause of Axos and it seems a very long
• 1:27:14
  time ago now. It's been really lovely to
• 1:27:18
  become part of the community that's built up around Hamster.
• 1:27:22
  So many lovely people to get to know and chat to and sometimes
• 1:27:25
  really disagree with, but it's all part of the fun and part of
• 1:27:29
  the experience. Here's to the next 1000 episodes
• 1:27:33
  and Ham Fam forever. So I have a question for you.
• 1:27:37
  What's the most important story in the whole history of Doctor
• 1:27:41
  Who? Well, for me it's Doctor Who and
• 1:27:44
  the Leisure Hive. Firstly because that made me a
• 1:27:47
  fan, but secondly because it brought me into the orbit of Joe
• 1:27:53
  Ford and a hamster with a blunt pen knife.
• 1:27:56
  And what a life changer that has been.
• 1:27:58
  It's 2021, it's lockdown, we're all miserable and suddenly this
• 1:28:04
  message pings into my inbox to invite me to come and do a
• 1:28:08
  commentary. Choose a story, any story, it
• 1:28:11
  says. So I went for the Leisure Hive
• 1:28:14
  because it was just one of the most important stories to me
• 1:28:17
  ever. And wow, 10 minutes in it was
• 1:28:21
  like, I've met someone that I've known all my life, I just didn't
• 1:28:25
  know that I've known him. And that was Joe Joe Fort, who
• 1:28:30
  since that day in 2021 has become a huge influence on my
• 1:28:34
  life. You know, I am absolutely blown
• 1:28:39
  away really that we've got to 1000 episodes and then I think
• 1:28:42
  of how many episodes have featured me and I'm really
• 1:28:47
  humbled. You know, I've been lucky enough
• 1:28:49
  to be here from almost nearly the start of the podcast, and
• 1:28:54
  that's meant I've seen it change and develop.
• 1:28:58
  When I started, it was small and brilliant and really, really
• 1:29:03
  listenable. But all the people that have
• 1:29:06
  come up from it, all those people, you know, that's quite
• 1:29:10
  an incredible thing. And I've made friends off the
• 1:29:13
  back of that, really good friends, but no better friends
• 1:29:18
  than Joe and no better friends than Fraser.
• 1:29:23
  You know, I suggested that we did some commentaries together
• 1:29:28
  simply because it meant I could do some more episodes of this
• 1:29:31
  podcast. That was really my way of
• 1:29:36
  getting a bit more into it. That was my whole criteria for
• 1:29:40
  doing it, really, let's be honest.
• 1:29:42
  And they both took it and something incredible grew out of
• 1:29:46
  that. A friendship that has changed my
• 1:29:48
  life. Literally my life has changed
• 1:29:50
  because of these two guys. You know, we talk everyday and
• 1:29:54
  that is something incredible. We've been through some
• 1:29:56
  incredible highs and the lowest of lows together since we
• 1:30:00
  started podcasting together, Joe.
• 1:30:03
  And you know, you've been a really big support to me through
• 1:30:07
  everything. And I think, and I hope I've
• 1:30:09
  been a big support to you, too. Hamster, eh, Hamster.
• 1:30:15
  You know, there are two podcasters in this world that I
• 1:30:17
  would do anything for. One is Mark McManus from Trap
• 1:30:19
  One, who gave me my first break into the podcasting world all
• 1:30:24
  those years ago. But Joe, you help me find my
• 1:30:27
  voice. You help me find what it is I
• 1:30:31
  could do that was different to everyone else.
• 1:30:34
  It's commemorated on the mug that Fraser made for me, my
• 1:30:37
  hamster mug, which says when I was young and that's my whole
• 1:30:41
  criteria. It's about the memories that
• 1:30:44
  Doctor Who evokes, and I've had a joyful time exploring that on
• 1:30:48
  some of the most fun commentaries I've ever done.
• 1:30:52
  I mean, I look back at the list we've done and it spans the
• 1:30:56
  whole of Doctor Who, which is, is amazing, you know, and it
• 1:31:00
  spans so many opinions and so many laughs.
• 1:31:04
  We have laughed our way through our commentaries and I have been
• 1:31:09
  honoured to be quite often the first person to do do things,
• 1:31:13
  you know, just by just by being here for so long really, you
• 1:31:19
  know, And I'm just so pleased you kept on asking me to come
• 1:31:22
  back and come and do some more and do some more.
• 1:31:25
  And asking me to spearhead your new projects means a huge amount
• 1:31:30
  to me. I can't even begin to say that.
• 1:31:34
  But the most fun of all is having time to hang out with you
• 1:31:38
  and listen to you and listen to Fraser and disagree with you
• 1:31:42
  both and laugh with you both and just have that absolute joy and
• 1:31:49
  amazement that this silly little show that we all love has
• 1:31:54
  brought us all together. And what you've done is brought
• 1:31:58
  together a family by the ham fam who I can't even remember who
• 1:32:03
  coins that was that Fraser. It's usually Fraser who comes up
• 1:32:06
  with everything. Clever like that, isn't it?
• 1:32:09
  That's been a brilliant thing to be a part of and a big part of.
• 1:32:13
  I'm like I've said, I've made friends, I've met people, I've
• 1:32:17
  podcasted with people that I never would have been in touch
• 1:32:20
  with if it wasn't for for hamster and isn't that an
• 1:32:24
  incredible thing? 1000 episodes.
• 1:32:28
  How do we even celebrate that? How do how do I even celebrate
• 1:32:32
  my part in that? I think I just said it all,
• 1:32:34
  really, but I just want to say congratulations.
• 1:32:38
  It's well deserved. It's been an absolute joy and
• 1:32:43
  well, me, you and Fraser, we've still got the whole rest of
• 1:32:46
  Doctor Who to talk about, so we better get on with it.
• 1:32:49
  So how do I end this thing? Oh, I know.
• 1:32:54
  I'll cut it there and then. I'll say a bit more because you
• 1:32:58
  never edit, although you've got better.
• 1:33:01
  Love you, Joe. Love you, Fraser.
• 1:33:04
  Love you Ham fam. Congratulations and happy
• 1:33:08
  anniversary. Hello Joe, it's Daniel Knight
• 1:33:11
  here. Congratulations on 1000 editions
• 1:33:14
  of a hamster with a blunt pen knife.
• 1:33:15
  The Doctor Who Commentary podcast, or a Doctor Who
• 1:33:19
  Commentary podcast, or the Doctor Who Commentaries podcast,
• 1:33:22
  whatever anyone wants to call it.
• 1:33:24
  Thank you for letting me join the Ham fam.
• 1:33:26
  Allow allowing me to spout nonsense about Destiny, the
• 1:33:29
  Daleks and Billy Piper's underwear habits on New Earth
• 1:33:33
  and the Enemy of the World and all the other wonderful stories
• 1:33:35
  we've done with Lucy and Dave. So here's to 1000 more
• 1:33:39
  congratulations. Hello and welcome to Experiment
• 1:33:46
  with a Blunt Pen Knife, the Doctor Who Crossover Podcast.
• 1:33:50
  I'm Simon Exton and I'm Ken Moss.
• 1:33:52
  We rejoin the hamster as Joe Ford is herding cats, Simon
• 1:33:56
  Exton is handling a big mic, and Ken Moss is struggling with a
• 1:33:59
  huge download. Congratulations, Joe on 1000
• 1:34:02
  episodes of Hamster with a Blunt Pen Knife.
• 1:34:05
  And here's to the next 1000 cheers.
• 1:34:12
  Wow, 1000 episodes of Hamster. Well done Joe, that means that
• 1:34:19
  now, in common with most Doctor Who expanded media, there is so
• 1:34:22
  much of your content out there it's virtually impossible to
• 1:34:25
  consume all of it. People are going to have to be
• 1:34:28
  picky. I recommend checking the ones
• 1:34:30
  that I'm on. But seriously though Joe,
• 1:34:33
  congratulations on 1000 episodes.
• 1:34:35
  That's an amazing achievement and thank you for inviting me to
• 1:34:39
  be part of the ham fam and getting me into this podcasting
• 1:34:42
  lark in the 1st place. Well done and here's to 1000
• 1:34:46
  more. Hi, Joe Joan Morris here, long
• 1:34:49
  time listener, former Strictly guest.
• 1:34:51
  I wanted to congratulate you on reaching 1000 episodes of the
• 1:34:54
  podcast. By now, you put out many more
• 1:34:56
  episodes than a certain science fiction television show, and
• 1:35:00
  some would argue that you're more reliably entertainer.
• 1:35:03
  Here's the next 1000. Hello, this is Donald J Trump
• 1:35:08
  wishing Joe Ford a happy 1000 TH podcast.
• 1:35:12
  Nobody knows more about Doctor Who than I do.
• 1:35:15
  I especially love the guy with the pointy ears.
• 1:35:18
  But of course it's all come woke now.
• 1:35:20
  It's the won't mind virus. We've had Jodie whatever and
• 1:35:23
  shooty dog thing. It's not as good as it used to
• 1:35:26
  be. I like the Cylons best,
• 1:35:29
  especially when they go bitty bitty bitty bitty.
• 1:35:31
  Anyway, happy anniversary Joe, whoever you are.
• 1:35:34
  Of course I don't like the name. Joe Joe Biden, Joe Grant, Hugh
• 1:35:37
  Grant, Make America great again. Thank you for your attention to
• 1:35:40
  this matter. I've been listening to the
• 1:35:43
  Hamster podcast for a while now. I made some really good friends
• 1:35:46
  with it. But also I have to say, nothing
• 1:35:49
  shocks me anymore after being immersed in this absolutely
• 1:35:53
  outrageous and hilarious world. And now I'm very happy to be a
• 1:35:57
  new voice on the podcast. So happy thousands Hamster and
• 1:36:02
  Long live the ham fam. Hi Joe, this is Ian Winterton
• 1:36:06
  from Cutaway Comics. And it's been a privilege to be
• 1:36:10
  a small part of your ham fam. And I guess my main memories are
• 1:36:16
  of reading lots of cool books with Jason and James, and at
• 1:36:22
  some point we're going to do The Writer's Tale by OST Davis, but
• 1:36:27
  mostly of torturing poor Rod Brown, drawing Strictly.
• 1:36:34
  It's very unruly and probably a little bit drunk.
• 1:36:37
  But yeah, keep on keeping on and I'll see you soon.
• 1:36:39
  Bye. Hey, Joe, it's Peter Old here,
• 1:36:43
  seeing as you've ordered us to actually make some noise.
• 1:36:46
  A very happy one thousandth episode to Hamster with a Blunt
• 1:36:50
  Pen Knife. Quite frankly, the best Doctor
• 1:36:53
  Who podcast on the whole interwebby net thing.
• 1:36:56
  I'm a relatively late addition to the ham fam, but the
• 1:36:58
  community you've created is quite frankly my favorite place
• 1:37:01
  to discuss our favorite TV show. Whether it's the broadcast,
• 1:37:06
  episodes, audios, books, old and new, it's always a wonderful mix
• 1:37:10
  of young and old, cynic and sycophant, to help us explore
• 1:37:14
  what it is about who that we love so much.
• 1:37:18
  Who knows Joe, with another thousand episodes you might even
• 1:37:20
  squeeze me in to talk about how amazing Destiny of the Daleks
• 1:37:23
  is. Yes it is.
• 1:37:25
  Trust me, it is it, it just is. Here's to many more years of
• 1:37:30
  Double Entendre's witty guests and a deep abiding love for this
• 1:37:34
  show. Come on Joe, you've got work to
• 1:37:37
  do. Hello Joe, it's Anthony Carroll
• 1:37:40
  here. Just want to say what a fabulous
• 1:37:43
  achievement to reach 1000 podcasts.
• 1:37:46
  I've enjoyed the Ride with the Ham fam enormously.
• 1:37:50
  Your podcasts are fun, informative, sometimes a bit
• 1:37:53
  rude and lewd, and you've also great created a great community.
• 1:37:59
  So keep podding and I look forward to the next 1000.
• 1:38:03
  Keep podding. So hamster with a blunt pen
• 1:38:07
  knife 1000 episodes. I always feel that needs a bit
• 1:38:14
  of a Brian Blessed instructor. 1000 episodes.
• 1:38:22
  I first listened to Hamster with a Blunt Pen Knife, a book club
• 1:38:25
  episode. It was on Damaged Goods and I've
• 1:38:28
  been looking for a good excuse to go back to reading some of
• 1:38:32
  the new adventures and this was a perfect way in for me.
• 1:38:34
  And obviously once you do one, it's like Pringles, you just
• 1:38:37
  can't stop. So it's on to the next one and
• 1:38:39
  the next one and the next one. Commentaries, interviews,
• 1:38:43
  constantly going and to think we're at 1001 thousand episodes.
• 1:38:50
  And I've even had the pleasure of taking part in some of these
• 1:38:53
  myself. So here's to Joe and a big thank
• 1:38:59
  you to getting us to 1000. It has been an honor and a
• 1:39:03
  privilege to listen and take part.
• 1:39:06
  So all that's left to say to all listeners out there is let's go
• 1:39:09
  for the next 1000 episodes. Good luck my dears. 1000
• 1:39:16
  episodes. 1000 episodes. Fucking hell, that is a lot, and
• 1:39:25
  I mean a lot of Doctor Who to talk about.
• 1:39:28
  And is there really anything else left to say about Doctor
• 1:39:32
  Who? OK, knowing the Hammer fam,
• 1:39:35
  knowing yourself, there's probably enough for another 2000
• 1:39:37
  episodes and I promise I will listen to some of them.
• 1:39:43
  This is a fantastic achievement. And I just want to say thank you
• 1:39:46
  for letting me be part of it as well.
• 1:39:48
  I mean, we've had a laugh. No one else did, but we did.
• 1:39:51
  And I hope that these continue for a very long time to come.
• 1:39:55
  And I hope to continue to be part of it as well because it is
• 1:39:58
  just been a lot of fun. So thank you.
• 1:40:02
  Congratulations. On to the next message.
• 1:40:05
  All hail the King Hamster. Congratulations.
• 1:40:08
  Joe. 1000 episodes of a hamster with a blunt pen knife.
• 1:40:12
  I mean, are you kidding me? Absolutely brilliant.
• 1:40:15
  Congratulations on reaching that huge milestone.
• 1:40:19
  It's been a fun filled ride from the beginning.
• 1:40:21
  Thank you once again for letting me be part of the journey.
• 1:40:24
  Very happy memories of the first recording we did.
• 1:40:26
  We did Creatures from the Pit and we were talking about GIMP
• 1:40:29
  masks and protrudencies. The best memory I've got though
• 1:40:32
  is when I tried to convince you that the Rebel Flesh and the
• 1:40:35
  Almost People was actually not as bad as you thought.
• 1:40:38
  But. I failed absolutely miserably.
• 1:40:39
  That was a task completely bully on me.
• 1:40:41
  You're having none of it, but it was fun threat to convince you
• 1:40:44
  anyway. And here's the thousand more and
• 1:40:48
  I'll just leave with a little quote from Professor Lazarus.
• 1:40:52
  Hamster with a lump pain knife is not going on a little longer.
• 1:40:54
  Doctor, but a lot longer. Hello, hamster family.
• 1:40:59
  This is Joe Llewellyn from across Atlantic and across North
• 1:41:03
  America calling from the mountains of North Northern
• 1:41:06
  California. I just want to say thank you so
• 1:41:09
  much. For letting me be a part of the
• 1:41:11
  whole Doctor Who fandom. Not much Doctor Who fans over
• 1:41:16
  here, just my daughter and me, and we're just happy to be part
• 1:41:21
  of it. Love you guys.
• 1:41:23
  Bye. So as well as all the wonderful
• 1:41:29
  people who have sent in their own comments to Joe, we've got a
• 1:41:32
  number that were had had to be read out because people were
• 1:41:36
  either shy or never done this before, or they're Paul Quinn.
• 1:41:41
  Seen the names on this list? Shy.
• 1:41:43
  They just couldn't be fucking ass, could they?
• 1:41:45
  Well, that's probably it. So Joe has roped me and Fraser
• 1:41:50
  in to come and read some of your comments.
• 1:41:52
  So you lucky, lucky people. Basically, we're the ones with
• 1:41:55
  the microphones, aren't we? That's.
• 1:41:56
  Right. Yeah.
• 1:41:57
  And we're just free. Yeah.
• 1:41:59
  Roped it in. It's not like you guys ever say
• 1:42:01
  no. Maybe if you said no every now
• 1:42:02
  and again, you wouldn't be. Stuck.
• 1:42:04
  But people would have the chance, wouldn't you?
• 1:42:06
  Yeah, some. Everyone else who cares about
• 1:42:09
  those people, let's have fun. So anyway, we start with Mr.
• 1:42:14
  Paul Quinn who says. No, no, Doctor Paul Quinn.
• 1:42:19
  Doctor Paul Quinn Yes. So anyway, we start with Doctor
• 1:42:22
  Paul Quinn, who says, as listeners of other podcasts may
• 1:42:26
  know, my appearances on iterations of Hamster are the
• 1:42:29
  result of reuniting after two decades of separation.
• 1:42:32
  That initial impetus for that reunion was the deaths of our
• 1:42:36
  mothers, but that was one of the results of that reunion was
• 1:42:39
  defending Daleks Take Manhattan and Wish World stroke the
• 1:42:43
  Reality War which suggests God or time or the universe has a
• 1:42:47
  sense of humour. As a depressive with too few
• 1:42:51
  friends and too many setbacks in life, for me, Hamster and the
• 1:42:55
  other podcast appearances it has led to has provided me with
• 1:42:58
  friendship, conversation and the chance to over analyse this
• 1:43:04
  silly little program which we've all spent much too much time
• 1:43:07
  thinking about, but which has provided us with joy and fun and
• 1:43:11
  companionship. And one of the most joyful
• 1:43:14
  things recently has been appearing on Hamster, engaging
• 1:43:17
  with the community that has been created, and reuniting with my
• 1:43:21
  oldest friend, Best Paul. Oh bless you, that's so sweet.
• 1:43:26
  I can't believe you made a joke about our mum's dying.
• 1:43:28
  Paul Queen, for fuck's sake. I just can't believe there's no
• 1:43:32
  swearing in that. No how?
• 1:43:35
  What a reasonable comment, Paul. Thank you.
• 1:43:39
  Moving on to Guy Grist then, who writes in to say congratulations
• 1:43:42
  on 1000 episodes. Thank you everyone who's been
• 1:43:45
  involved for keeping me company at work at stupid o'clock in the
• 1:43:48
  morning with all the madness. Regards Guy.
• 1:43:52
  Next we have got Andrew Fordham. Andrew F as I know him on the
• 1:43:56
  Patreon. I'm just emailing following your
• 1:43:58
  post on Blue Sky asking for comments RE the thousandth
• 1:44:01
  episode of Hamster. Congratulations on reaching 1000
• 1:44:05
  episodes. I've said this to you in private
• 1:44:07
  messages on Patreon, but your podcast along with some others
• 1:44:10
  have helped me get through a rocky couple of years recently.
• 1:44:13
  I hope you realise the gift that you give to people to enable
• 1:44:15
  them to escape reality and jump in the TARDIS.
• 1:44:18
  We'll never see eye to eye on the Moffett Chibnall thing,
• 1:44:21
  Andrew. No we won't.
• 1:44:24
  But fandom will be boring if we agreed all the time.
• 1:44:28
  That's true. Thanks again for providing fun
• 1:44:33
  and light in some dark times. All the best to you guys.
• 1:44:36
  Kind regards a Fordham. Oh, give us a big.
• 1:44:42
  Big. Give us an orange Orange.
• 1:44:46
  Give us a Michael. Michael.
• 1:44:55
  Congratulations on the one thousandth episode of Hamster.
• 1:44:59
  In a sea of Doctor Who related podcasts, yours stands out and
• 1:45:02
  is the one I look forward to each new episode.
• 1:45:06
  I stumbled across your podcast early in my current pilgrimage
• 1:45:09
  through the classic series and it's been a great companion to
• 1:45:12
  visiting those old favourites again.
• 1:45:14
  I love the sense of community Hamster brings.
• 1:45:17
  It connects me to the larger Doctor Who community in a
• 1:45:20
  wonderful way. I can't tell you the times I've
• 1:45:23
  been exercising, listening to the commentary and agreeing or
• 1:45:26
  disagreeing out loud, only for me to realise that anyone nearby
• 1:45:30
  can hear me muttering. Some person doesn't appreciate
• 1:45:33
  Cursor Fenrick in quite the same way I do.
• 1:45:37
  I think that might be Joe. Also, I'd be remiss not to point
• 1:45:42
  out that I love the fanfare on each Strictly Come hamster when
• 1:45:45
  my comments are read. Again, a feeling of inclusion in
• 1:45:48
  the community that I love my younger self who loved who but
• 1:45:52
  felt alone in that love is jealous of 50 plus year old me
• 1:45:56
  getting to be part of this community today.
• 1:45:59
  Again, Congrats on on 1000 episodes and here's to 1000 more
• 1:46:04
  fantastic Big Orange Michael, how many are we?
• 1:46:09
  Doing. After this a. 1000 more I seem
• 1:46:12
  mad it's taken five years to get this far.
• 1:46:16
  Yeah, it's lovely. Isn't that lovely that that
• 1:46:19
  feeling of inclusion? I think that's so.
• 1:46:21
  Definitely. Well, that's the best thing to
• 1:46:22
  come out of this. Yeah, yeah, definitely.
• 1:46:26
  I'm glad we've made him feel special.
• 1:46:29
  I can imagine, though, when he's exercising and sweating away on
• 1:46:32
  that cross trailer, it's mostly Fraser that's making him swear a
• 1:46:35
  lot, you know? It's a lot of wrong opinions
• 1:46:38
  there. One of the terminators.
• 1:46:41
  Oh God. This, this is a house in which
• 1:46:45
  we appreciate the curse of Fenrick.
• 1:46:46
  I'll have you know. Thank you very much.
• 1:46:48
  Oh, OK. Crazy House.
• 1:46:50
  Yeah. And John Lane writes in to say
• 1:46:53
  in the grand scheme of things, a hamster should consider itself
• 1:46:56
  lucky to reach the ripe old age of 2.
• 1:46:58
  So coming up with five years old and 1000 episodes, well that
• 1:47:02
  really is something to celebrate.
• 1:47:04
  From the first episode I ever heard, I've been hooked.
• 1:47:07
  Everything you do is pure gold. The strictories, the
• 1:47:10
  commentaries, the book reviews, and they have all become
• 1:47:13
  consistent companions and my increasingly arouse the yahoos.
• 1:47:18
  God, I thought I said something else for a minute.
• 1:47:20
  Incisive Doctor Who critiques with a healthy streak of pure
• 1:47:23
  filth. What more could any discerning
• 1:47:25
  fan ask for? He asked.
• 1:47:27
  The next 2000 episodes and a special celebration blunt pen
• 1:47:31
  knife for patrons. Happy thousand hamster, Johnny.
• 1:47:35
  Aroused ear holes roasted. Yes.
• 1:47:40
  Wow. Yeah.
• 1:47:41
  When I listened back to our, you know, us free doing hamster,
• 1:47:44
  sometimes my ears get very aroused, you know, stop it.
• 1:47:51
  Oh, it's me, is it? Yes, it is.
• 1:47:53
  Glen Fitzgerald says congratulations on your
• 1:47:56
  thousandth episode. Every week you keep my mind off
• 1:47:59
  the mundane chores of work. Oh, good.
• 1:48:01
  With the laughs and the banter, I feel at last that I've met a
• 1:48:05
  genuinely nice bunch of fellow fans.
• 1:48:07
  And Fraser. Oh, no, sorry, you don't say
• 1:48:09
  that. Who are all welcoming and
• 1:48:11
  friendly? Differences of opinion matter.
• 1:48:13
  Not here. Indeed, they are the start of
• 1:48:16
  some great and sometimes painfully funny discussions,
• 1:48:19
  something that would never happen in a few other places.
• 1:48:22
  Oh, can anyone hear the number 40?
• 1:48:25
  Thank. Thank you all for the great
• 1:48:27
  listeners and the warm welcome. And thank you.
• 1:48:30
  Oh, do I have to say this, Joe, because without you found it
• 1:48:34
  would have been such a nice place.
• 1:48:35
  Actually, I think he's everybody.
• 1:48:37
  Well done and here's to the future.
• 1:48:40
  Glenn Fitzgerald. Love that's.
• 1:48:42
  The answer? In many ways, we have the same
• 1:48:46
  mind. Yeah, I didn't realise you were
• 1:48:49
  that perverse. Sean Bradshaw says
• 1:48:54
  congratulations on reaching a ridiculous amount of great
• 1:48:57
  podcasts and providing a steady diet of thoughtfulness and
• 1:49:00
  humour about all things Doctor Who.
• 1:49:02
  For anyone new to a hamster with a blunt pen knife, give yourself
• 1:49:05
  a treat and jump in anywhere for fun.
• 1:49:08
  But really, start with the leisure hive.
• 1:49:11
  Right. And then go to the Space Museum
• 1:49:13
  and then maybe skip across to the two doctors.
• 1:49:15
  Yeah, I'm a getting factor. I'll be a.
• 1:49:18
  Invasion of the dinosaurs, yeah. Yeah, Invasion of time.
• 1:49:22
  Yeah, more than I'm dead, perhaps.
• 1:49:26
  How many seeds of death do? Robot Sherwood and Genesis of
• 1:49:30
  the Daleks. Oh, Evolution of the Daleks.
• 1:49:33
  Victory of the Daleks. Oh oh.
• 1:49:35
  No, we haven't done evolution yet.
• 1:49:37
  No, that's still to come. Who the fuck has he done that
• 1:49:39
  with? I'll finish it all off with the
• 1:49:44
  1st 12 episodes of Trial of the Type Lord.
• 1:49:49
  Although by the time you get through all of that would may
• 1:49:51
  well have done the last two as well.
• 1:49:53
  We might. It's possible, Possible.
• 1:49:55
  People are literally banging down off the wall saying when
• 1:49:58
  you finishing that I can't tell you how much people are enjoying
• 1:50:00
  those. Oh, sorry, I'm getting indulgent
• 1:50:02
  now. Wait, is it me?
• 1:50:05
  Who? It is.
• 1:50:07
  Oh it's TomTom Newsome. Hi Tom, 1000 episodes in five
• 1:50:11
  years is incredible. Well done for hitting that
• 1:50:14
  milestone. There's someone who never used
• 1:50:16
  to listen to a lot of Doctor Who podcasts.
• 1:50:17
  This one became the exception. The tone is always welcoming,
• 1:50:21
  silly but insightful, and you, and never a chore despite the
• 1:50:25
  long episodes. More than a lot of that comes
• 1:50:29
  from you, Joe. Here's to the next 2000.
• 1:50:32
  What comes from me? Everything.
• 1:50:38
  You believe that you. See your teaching.
• 1:50:40
  Silly chore that comes from you. Silly chore.
• 1:50:45
  That's right, yeah. Then the welcoming comes from.
• 1:50:47
  Sigh. Obviously.
• 1:50:48
  Yeah, And the fucking insightful does not come from Fraser.
• 1:50:52
  Jesus Christ, is it me? Sis.
• 1:50:57
  Darren Brewer says hello Joe, and to the rest of the Hamster
• 1:51:01
  family, just wanted to congratulate you on their
• 1:51:03
  thousandth episode. Thank you for an incredible
• 1:51:06
  podcast and reigniting my love for the literary bit of the
• 1:51:10
  Doctor Who universe. It means so much and I look
• 1:51:13
  forward to listening to all the episodes still to come.
• 1:51:16
  Oh boy. Geronimo from Darren.
• 1:51:24
  Is Mad Paddington, who apparently is Joe McLachlan and
• 1:51:28
  he says hi Joe thank you for all the insane amount of hours of
• 1:51:31
  chat about the greatest show in the Galaxy and for making Who
• 1:51:35
  fandom feel like a proper family.
• 1:51:37
  You're doing the Lord's work. Love Mad Joe Paddington.
• 1:51:41
  I have to bring this to you, Joe, but the Lord will have
• 1:51:44
  nothing to do with me, as you will not be surprised to.
• 1:51:47
  Hear I didn't realise your greatest show commentary was
• 1:51:49
  that long. Oh, look who's next.
• 1:51:55
  I'm assuming that Lord, though, is Lord Moffat.
• 1:51:59
  Yes, yeah. Yes, Next up we have got the
• 1:52:04
  another Joe, the lovely Joe Short who says hello love,
• 1:52:09
  congratulations on the thousandth episode.
• 1:52:12
  You have changed so many lives and helped make so many
• 1:52:15
  friendships along the way. Being part of the Ham farm has
• 1:52:18
  been one of the best things that has ever happened to me and I
• 1:52:20
  can't thank you all enough. Looking forward to the next
• 1:52:23
  2000. Lots of love from Joe Short.
• 1:52:26
  Officially lovely. Wasn't it you that coined her
• 1:52:28
  officially lovely? No.
• 1:52:30
  Fraser who? Wasn't no that that one was me.
• 1:52:34
  Yeah, something you would say. Yeah, everyone's lovely to me.
• 1:52:39
  Really. What about that person we
• 1:52:42
  murdered in Terrell of her voice?
• 1:52:45
  Don't talk. PlayStation Gamer 187, what is
• 1:52:51
  your name? You've been writing so many
• 1:52:52
  comments. PlayStation Gamer, I must know
• 1:52:56
  what your name is. Very little of value to add, he
• 1:52:59
  says. I don't believe that for a
• 1:53:01
  second, but I would like to say I have absolutely loved
• 1:53:03
  listening to you and your wonderful guests.
• 1:53:04
  Over the last three years of listening.
• 1:53:06
  I have learned so much and laughed more than I thought
• 1:53:09
  possible. I wish you all the very best.
• 1:53:11
  Much love. He's a nice guy.
• 1:53:14
  He's always, always chatting and always reaching out and saying
• 1:53:17
  hello. Him and Glenn Fitzgerald.
• 1:53:19
  Lovely. Guys, Oh, Glenn's doing one
• 1:53:21
  soon, is he? Oh, wonderful.
• 1:53:22
  I should get PlayStation game wrong then we can find out what
• 1:53:25
  his name is. Yeah, but of course he's added
• 1:53:27
  he had another fault after that. He said on reflection, he said I
• 1:53:31
  hear The Who fandom can be like any toxic etcetera, but I've
• 1:53:35
  never experienced any of this. And I put that down to your good
• 1:53:37
  judgement of character. Oh, bless you.
• 1:53:39
  No good judgement. It's all an accident.
• 1:53:43
  So all the hand fam across all of time and space.
• 1:53:45
  Thank you for being good, decent humans, Faith in humanity stuff.
• 1:53:49
  I mean, that's just sight, really.
• 1:53:51
  But yeah. Oh, and then he adds one last
• 1:53:53
  thought. PS As good old Felix Fraser is
• 1:53:57
  known for being a man of few words.
• 1:54:01
  Few words. What?
• 1:54:03
  Perhaps he could read this out simply.
• 1:54:06
  Thanks, Joe. Ha ha.
• 1:54:10
  Yeah, barely get an edge. With an edge with you guys.
• 1:54:12
  Going on all the time. They're right.
• 1:54:17
  Yeah, 56 Reasons for the Ambassadors of Death.
• 1:54:19
  Few words. Jeff C keeps it simple and says
• 1:54:25
  keep doing what you're doing, entertaining and enlightening
• 1:54:28
  your listeners. Here's to another 1000.
• 1:54:31
  Who's doing the enlightening, do you think?
• 1:54:33
  It certainly ain't me, actually. It's the sort of the smart
• 1:54:35
  people that come on, you know, James Last.
• 1:54:37
  Be the others. Michael Mills?
• 1:54:40
  Who else? Who else has got a brain?
• 1:54:41
  Toby Hadoke? Anyone else?
• 1:54:45
  Is that it? Is that the only three people
• 1:54:46
  I've got with a brain cell? Anyone that comes on and says
• 1:54:49
  nice things about Sophie Aldred and Stephen Moffat.
• 1:54:53
  I know the few and far. Between but we don't get them.
• 1:54:55
  I mean, I'm not going to spoil it now.
• 1:54:57
  I'm a big surprise coming for you, Fraser.
• 1:54:59
  Gregory, That's all I'm going to say.
• 1:55:01
  Oh shoe Fraser. Oh, it's me.
• 1:55:03
  Yes. Oh Mark Donaldson Mark Donaldson
• 1:55:07
  writes in to say congratulations on reaching such an insane
• 1:55:11
  milestone. Joe 1000 episodes is testament
• 1:55:14
  your drive, your openness and your willingness to chat
• 1:55:18
  absolute ill informed shit about Stephen Moffat era.
• 1:55:22
  Here's to the next 1000. I've never been so insulted in
• 1:55:26
  all my life. Yes, you have.
• 1:55:28
  I read that comment right. Then I reached out to him
• 1:55:30
  straight away and said right, fine, all right fine.
• 1:55:33
  If you think I've got an ill informed thing about Steven
• 1:55:35
  Moffett, you choose free Moffett episodes and try and change my
• 1:55:39
  mind. He came back to me in about 2
• 1:55:40
  1/2 seconds. This, this, this.
• 1:55:42
  I was like, oh fucking hell, OK, Jesus Christ.
• 1:55:46
  That'll teacher. Oh Cressa, oh Paul, will you
• 1:55:50
  please keep posting pictures of your top off please because Oh
• 1:55:54
  my God your pics are just delicious.
• 1:55:56
  Anyway, congratulations on reaching the big 1000.
• 1:56:01
  I never listened to a podcast on any subject before I heard my
• 1:56:05
  first Strictly. Wow, never.
• 1:56:08
  Now I can't get enough of them. Oh so sorry about that.
• 1:56:11
  Being asked to take part in the season 21 episode was amazing
• 1:56:14
  and I hope to contribute again in the future.
• 1:56:17
  Here's to the future. Well it turns out love is the
• 1:56:22
  answer and finally we have the toy maker's cat and this pussy
• 1:56:30
  says that's amazing. Congratulations, love to be on
• 1:56:35
  there one day nattering about something haha.
• 1:56:39
  I mean, it's irresistible to talk about the toy maker's cat
• 1:56:41
  without mentioning his pussy, isn't it?
• 1:56:44
  It's kind of certainly, didn't you?
• 1:56:45
  You certainly followed that comment up with the suggestion
• 1:56:49
  that he was welcome to come on Hamster as long as he brought
• 1:56:51
  his pussy with them. I said, well, there's something
• 1:56:53
  I put Mr. Slom comest about, isn't there?
• 1:56:55
  Come. On wouldn't be hamster without a
• 1:56:57
  bit of bit of filth. Well, now look, this is sort of
• 1:57:00
  the point of the episode where you, you fellows.
• 1:57:02
  Oh no, there's going to be a few clips actually at the end as
• 1:57:05
  well. There's a clip there from Sigh
• 1:57:07
  of me talking about the Aztecs, or rather the Mexico people from
• 1:57:12
  Peru and, and Fraser, I think I've there's a clip in there of
• 1:57:17
  you and me talking about remembrance of the Daleks and
• 1:57:19
  your insane love for that. But you know, this is the last
• 1:57:22
  time sort of a live bit in the episode.
• 1:57:25
  Anything to say as we go out? It's been all right, hasn't it?
• 1:57:29
  Yeah, it's. Been quite fascinating.
• 1:57:33
  No, let's, let's, let's be indulgent because that is the
• 1:57:37
  name of this show. Absolutely indulgent.
• 1:57:39
  You know, I'm going to, I've had my clip.
• 1:57:42
  You've heard me say this before, but I really just want to
• 1:57:47
  reinforce what a lot of people have said here.
• 1:57:49
  This podcast is just more than a podcast now.
• 1:57:51
  It is a community. It is a place that people are
• 1:57:53
  coming together, finding like minded people, you know, the
• 1:57:58
  type of fan that they want to be around.
• 1:58:01
  We are all coming together, drawn by one another into this,
• 1:58:06
  this pod space, if you'll call it that.
• 1:58:09
  You know the community, a family, This is what it's
• 1:58:12
  become. And you know you, you'll never
• 1:58:15
  take a compliment, but I'm going to force you to take one now
• 1:58:18
  because you were going to say this is everybody else.
• 1:58:20
  It's down at all the contributors, it's down to
• 1:58:22
  everyone else that's joining in. But bollocks, you are at the
• 1:58:26
  centre of all that. You were the one that has set
• 1:58:28
  the tone that has said no, these are the this is the type of
• 1:58:34
  podcast that I want people to listen to and people have been
• 1:58:37
  drawn to that sort. Without you at the centre of
• 1:58:41
  everything, you know, we wouldn't have found each other
• 1:58:44
  without you saying to me, come on to my show.
• 1:58:49
  You know, I don't know you from Adam and you could be great at
• 1:58:53
  this. You could be shaped at this.
• 1:58:54
  I know what a lot of people will say, but without you saying come
• 1:58:58
  on here, you know, I would never have had the opportunity to do
• 1:59:03
  than anything in podcast world. You know, from here.
• 1:59:05
  I have went on to pretty much everything that's out there.
• 1:59:09
  And that's all because of your openness to have new people, new
• 1:59:16
  talent for whatever better word coming on to your podcast.
• 1:59:21
  We've argued so much over. The last.
• 1:59:25
  Five years, you know, and that's another brilliant thing is
• 1:59:28
  because, you know, I feel safe to do that with you.
• 1:59:31
  I'd feel safe to come on and say my opinions, no matter how
• 1:59:35
  stupid and daft and contrary they might be, knowing that you
• 1:59:39
  will either accept them or you will disagree with them.
• 1:59:44
  But either way, I feel safe to do that.
• 1:59:48
  When we disagree, we'll do it properly.
• 1:59:50
  You know, we back and forth and back and forth.
• 1:59:53
  What were arguments out there? And we'll shake hands at the end
• 1:59:56
  of a walk. We're friends, probably better
• 1:59:57
  friends than we were before because we haven't, you know,
• 2:00:00
  don't smoke up anyone's house or anything.
• 2:00:02
  We've just had a proper civilised discussion and like I
• 2:00:07
  said, make it more than anything, you know, we've had
• 2:00:09
  laughs, we've had great fun. You know, you've brought me and
• 2:00:13
  Simon together as better friends.
• 2:00:14
  You know, we've all come together as friends, but we've
• 2:00:18
  done it all laughing. Even when we're disagreeing,
• 2:00:21
  we're laughing and we're enjoying.
• 2:00:23
  Each other's company and I think from the comments that we've
• 2:00:27
  just read out, that's something that you know, really shines out
• 2:00:31
  from this podcast as well. But it's all down to you.
• 2:00:34
  It's all down to you. You know, it's 1000 episodes
• 2:00:36
  that you have put together. You're the common threat to all
• 2:00:40
  of those. It's your podcast.
• 2:00:42
  This is your hard works well, don't you?
• 2:00:45
  And thank you. It's been fantastic, right?
• 2:00:47
  And I'm looking forward to this going on.
• 2:00:49
  I was. Going and you know what that I'm
• 2:00:51
  not even giving you a chance to talk yet.
• 2:00:53
  Joe, you have to take this. There are a couple of things
• 2:00:58
  that I didn't say in my other comment.
• 2:01:01
  First of all, your incredible ability to ask the right
• 2:01:04
  question in the right moment. You know, you back that off as
• 2:01:10
  just something you do, but that is an incredible skill and it
• 2:01:13
  keeps the conversation flowing. And while we might mock you and
• 2:01:17
  say, oh, so I've got a question for you, you know, that is one
• 2:01:21
  of the staples of hamster. You just know what to ask in the
• 2:01:25
  right moment and keep the conversation going when it might
• 2:01:30
  be lagging, when you can sense that maybe we need to steer it
• 2:01:33
  onto something else. It's just an innate sort of
• 2:01:38
  quality in you that you just know and get this.
• 2:01:42
  And that's, that's a really good thing.
• 2:01:43
  You know, like I said in in my comment said, I felt so at ease
• 2:01:48
  with you straight off. Like I've known you forever.
• 2:01:51
  And I know from other people that this is true and from the
• 2:01:56
  people who reached out to me after I did the leisure hive and
• 2:01:59
  said, do you think I could do this?
• 2:02:02
  And from other ones? So Jason Thompson and Mark
• 2:02:06
  Dodick Fraser was one of them. You know, all people who said,
• 2:02:12
  do you think I've got it in me to do this?
• 2:02:14
  And I said, of course, because it's Joe and he makes it so easy
• 2:02:19
  and you'll feel like you've known him forever.
• 2:02:22
  And there will just be, it will be something easy.
• 2:02:27
  You're talking about Doctor Who. This is easy.
• 2:02:29
  And to all those people who who came to me and said could I do
• 2:02:34
  this? And I passed them your way and
• 2:02:36
  told them to get in touch with you.
• 2:02:38
  They've all gone on to do amazing things.
• 2:02:41
  You know, fucking rivals of mine that No, I'm joking.
• 2:02:43
  I'm joking. You know, and I think.
• 2:02:46
  That's coming for all of you, all right.
• 2:02:49
  I think that's a really brilliant thing, that this has
• 2:02:52
  brought so many new voices out, people who've been waiting for
• 2:02:56
  their chance to talk about this silly show with someone else who
• 2:03:00
  gets it in the way that they do. You know what it is like they
• 2:03:03
  get so impatient waiting to do enough.
• 2:03:05
  One they go, well, if he's gonna talk to everybody else, I'll
• 2:03:08
  start my own. Luke, Dave.
• 2:03:10
  Rennie, Jason. Thompson, they're like, fuck I
• 2:03:13
  waiting for him. Allenby.
• 2:03:14
  Jim Allenby, Yeah, I'm not waiting for him.
• 2:03:16
  I'm gonna do my own and look at the work they've done.
• 2:03:18
  Fabulous. Absolutely.
• 2:03:19
  And this is all off the back of that and that community and
• 2:03:23
  people who have found their voice and felt the confidence to
• 2:03:27
  be able to go and share that with Dave Rennie.
• 2:03:29
  He was another one who did that, you know, And you know, people
• 2:03:33
  have come and gone out of this community and come back and
• 2:03:37
  everything else, but there's something just really magical
• 2:03:41
  about coming and doing the commentary or coming and doing a
• 2:03:46
  book review or something with you.
• 2:03:48
  It's just you and tonight you have to listen to us and tell me
• 2:03:53
  this. I could.
• 2:03:54
  You should see the look on his face right now guys.
• 2:03:57
  Fucking agonising this now, whilst we're being intelligent.
• 2:04:01
  Now it's my turn because I was going to say something utterly
• 2:04:07
  facetious like yes, yeah, it's it's because I just, it's not
• 2:04:12
  like I want to hang out with you people.
• 2:04:13
  I just want to lick all of your assholes.
• 2:04:15
  But it isn't that at all. What I did want to say was
• 2:04:20
  obviously what no one gets to see, they get to hear the
• 2:04:22
  episodes that the three of us put out.
• 2:04:23
  What they don't get to see is that mammoth of a group chat
• 2:04:27
  that was started like. Four years and 100 and every
• 2:04:32
  day. Where we talk pretty much every
• 2:04:34
  single day at. Wherein I am by far, by by a
• 2:04:41
  country mile, the most emotionally reactive, green
• 2:04:46
  eyed, ridiculously melodramatic contributor to that Fred.
• 2:04:55
  I think we've all had our moments.
• 2:04:57
  Yeah, but come on, let's be honest.
• 2:04:59
  Come on. Only one of us is the Linda
• 2:05:02
  Baroness rack in that Fred Fabulous pair of jugs as well.
• 2:05:08
  But but, but I have this inane habit of getting close to people
• 2:05:15
  and then I recognise it in myself and I've done it again
• 2:05:19
  and again and again, pushing them away, or rather forcing
• 2:05:23
  them away by behaving like a bit of a shithead.
• 2:05:27
  And you've both experienced moments of that in that group
• 2:05:30
  thread and you just cling on and you haven't gone anywhere.
• 2:05:37
  Even my my family gave up in the end, you know?
• 2:05:40
  And the pair are you. It is just absurd how fucking
• 2:05:45
  needy the pair of you are clinging on to it now, how
• 2:05:49
  patient you are and, and how kind you are and how generous
• 2:05:53
  you are. And yeah.
• 2:05:55
  And that I appreciate more than anything because it's probably,
• 2:05:59
  for me the first time I've sat in friendships that I feel will
• 2:06:04
  last my whole life. And that's never really happened
• 2:06:08
  before. Because if there's a way of
• 2:06:10
  finding it to fuck it up, I'll find it, you know?
• 2:06:13
  Oh. You tried so hard.
• 2:06:16
  Consistently, yes, I'm. Just too fucking stubborn.
• 2:06:22
  But and I'm just too nice. Can we stop being so fucking
• 2:06:27
  indulgent now please? Sigh.
• 2:06:28
  We've got a podcast to record. We do.
• 2:06:32
  It's a strictly we've got hours of this to go.
• 2:06:35
  I think I'll finish this by saying one of the most amazing
• 2:06:40
  things about starting this podcast.
• 2:06:42
  Probably the most amazing thing of Oh no, my other half there as
• 2:06:46
  well. Never mind him.
• 2:06:47
  The most amazing thing about starting this podcast is this
• 2:06:50
  three-way friendship, and fucking happy days to that.
• 2:06:55
  Yeah, yeah. For sure.
• 2:06:58
  I've got another 115 episodes to record.
• 2:07:01
  Let's go. Yeah, I don't know, and I don't
• 2:07:09
  know why not. I think this is a great story,
• 2:07:11
  but like Silver Nemesis, I don't know if I only love it because
• 2:07:15
  of the age I was when I first encountered it.
• 2:07:19
  This was the first VHS that I ever got the 1st Doctor Who VHSI
• 2:07:22
  ever got. The first VHS was a rival from
• 2:07:25
  Cybertron. This was the first Doctor Who
• 2:07:27
  VHS and I watched it over and over and over again when it was
• 2:07:33
  about 11 or 12. So yeah, it was the first pre
• 2:07:37
  McCoy Doctor Who story I ever saw.
• 2:07:40
  Most of season 25, Season 26. Then you read all the Target
• 2:07:46
  books and then one day my auntie saying, you do know they sell
• 2:07:50
  Doctor Who videos in Woolies, don't you?
• 2:07:53
  And I was like, no. I am delighted to invite you all
• 2:08:00
  listeners to a Hamster with a Blood Pen knife to the wedding
• 2:08:05
  of Joe Ford and Pete Lambert coming soon.
• 2:08:09
  In fact, it's next week at Pandorica Convention.
• 2:08:11
  Don't shut up you. What did I, what did I sign?
• 2:08:15
  You said it was. You said it was a health and
• 2:08:16
  safety form. I declared my love in the last
• 2:08:19
  episode and now this time I'm telling everyone we're going to
• 2:08:21
  get married. It will of course be Doctor Who
• 2:08:24
  themed, all from 55 themed for Pete.
• 2:08:27
  Yes, OK, You're starting to sell it to me now.
• 2:08:30
  That's right, we've got. Maybe bushy tails.
• 2:08:34
  Bushy tails, Yeah. Oh, no, I said.
• 2:08:35
  I. Want to be Velma and you could
• 2:08:36
  be Benny. Oh yes.
• 2:08:38
  No, sorry, this isn't the place for that kind of.
• 2:08:40
  Work, the family book and Benny Toby.
• 2:08:46
  Mr. Toby. Heydo.
• 2:08:47
  Hello. Hello, Joe.
• 2:08:49
  Nice to see you. How are you?
• 2:08:51
  I'm a bit chilly today. I'm on.
• 2:08:53
  I'm standing on Wendley Moore. Oh, and there seems to be an
• 2:08:59
  irritating noise sounding a bit like a kazoo in the background.
• 2:09:05
  Well, I think I know how to do this, Joe.
• 2:09:07
  I think I'm I'm learning to speak your language.
• 2:09:10
  Are are you telling me that you and a friend have polished your
• 2:09:12
  helmets in anticipation of going into a wet, dark cavern?
• 2:09:19
  Frequently? Yes.
• 2:09:21
  Good. That's good.
• 2:09:22
  They see. I knew I could do.
• 2:09:23
  This a lot. Of evenings end that way, you
• 2:09:25
  know. What have I done to you?
• 2:09:28
  Oh no, I'm doing this to everybody now.
• 2:09:32
  Erupted. I don't know if Fraser River.
• 2:09:35
  Just tell us both to stop it, you know?
• 2:09:37
  Right, I asked whether to learn that I'm Morbius shall return
• 2:09:42
  from the grain. You know, I could always sell
• 2:09:44
  violence, couldn't I? Lovely fresh flowers.
• 2:09:49
  But I was going to say, you know, I've been away for quite a
• 2:09:52
  while, but that's not for a lack of trying.
• 2:09:54
  No, Jack and I recently recorded a 2 1/2 hour long commentary on
• 2:10:04
  the Steven Moffat. Enormous success.
• 2:10:07
  What's it called again? Well, not in time, and the
• 2:10:11
  doctor falls. That's right.
• 2:10:13
  And boy oh boy, that was the most wonderful recording that
• 2:10:16
  only half exists. So basically I forgot to press
• 2:10:23
  record my end so my father recording will never ever be
• 2:10:27
  heard. But Jack Smart's wit and
• 2:10:30
  charisma are there for posterity.
• 2:10:34
  Yeah, I still, I still maintain that you should record the
• 2:10:38
  commentary with somebody else and just say I'm there.
• 2:10:41
  And then you can just edit me in.
• 2:10:43
  And it's like I was, I was never absent.
• 2:10:47
  Hello and welcome back to a hamster with a blunt pen knife.
• 2:10:50
  And we rejoin the action where poor brave Joe Ford has been
• 2:10:55
  infiltrated by two Simons. I'm not tearing your wings off.
• 2:11:02
  It's fine. I'm Simon Exton and we're
• 2:11:08
  enjoying the web planet. We are.
• 2:11:11
  Oh my God. Should I what?
• 2:11:13
  What seductive voice you've got. Honestly, you should do all of
• 2:11:16
  these. Sorry, sorry, you're out again.
• 2:11:20
  Oh well, yeah, I'm not needed anymore.
• 2:11:22
  It's fine. When I was when I was a, when I
• 2:11:26
  was first qualified and I was a baby, baby junior doctor working
• 2:11:29
  on the care of the elderly ward, they used to call me the patient
• 2:11:32
  whisperer. I'm doing this again.
• 2:11:36
  Here we Go Is the American woman.
• 2:11:38
  Is the American woman? She's getting more work.
• 2:11:41
  Recording in progress. OK, so.
• 2:11:46
  Recording in progress, I can't remember.
• 2:11:52
  What I was going to say and we got Joe and.
• 2:11:58
  Mark. And autumn in autumn's pants.
• 2:12:03
  Should be like, it's the Altons, it's the Altons.
• 2:12:09
  They're deadly mannequins. The Altons.
• 2:12:12
  OK. OK.
• 2:12:18
  All right. So, OK, so should I count us in?
• 2:12:20
  Do you want to count us in? Wait, who started?
• 2:12:22
  No. You, you go for it.
• 2:12:23
  You you start it because I've started.
• 2:12:25
  Should I do like a? Should I do?
• 2:12:26
  Should I do parody me or just regularly?
• 2:12:29
  Oh, you do Regularly. Like how high should I do like
• 2:12:33
  or should I just be? Like.
• 2:12:40
  Just. Like come back what just do your
• 2:12:42
  normal one which is that. OK.
• 2:12:44
  All right. Hey, I've got a big question for
• 2:12:47
  you, OK? And it has nothing to do with
• 2:12:50
  the episode that we're talking about, OK?
• 2:12:53
  What did you think of the third season of Jodie Whittaker's
• 2:12:58
  Doctor Who Flux? I fluxing loved it.
• 2:13:05
  No, I really, I really, really enjoyed it.
• 2:13:09
  I thought it was huge. I thought it was epic.
• 2:13:15
  I, I, I, I, I spoke to you earlier, but I was fully
• 2:13:18
  immersed in flux for the whole time it was on.
• 2:13:21
  It wasn't just the show, it was podcasts.
• 2:13:25
  It was YouTube videos. I had to put the book down that
• 2:13:29
  I was reading for those six weeks.
• 2:13:31
  I couldn't concentrate on it because it wasn't flux.
• 2:13:35
  I, I, Instagram kind of blew up as well.
• 2:13:38
  Everybody was talking about it. Everybody was talking about it.
• 2:13:40
  Twitter even. And OK, yeah, the, the, IT
• 2:13:43
  wasn't all positive on, on Twitter because it never, ever
• 2:13:46
  is. And it's Jodie Whittaker's era,
• 2:13:48
  isn't it? So, you know, but I I have found
• 2:13:51
  myself quite a nice little corner of Twitter.
• 2:13:54
  Of of of like, you know. Positive people who are trying,
• 2:13:58
  trying, you know, letting themselves enjoy it you.
• 2:14:01
  Know, and he talks about just like in survival when he's like,
• 2:14:05
  oh, Silly's made of songs and people made-up this and that.
• 2:14:07
  And he talks about all these places.
• 2:14:09
  I'm like, well, the rest of this season is so fucking boring.
• 2:14:11
  Why aren't we going to those places?
• 2:14:13
  They sound amazing. It's yeah, I mean, Russell is
• 2:14:16
  very good at, you know, doing them sentences that you think,
• 2:14:19
  oh, I'd love to go see that planet.
• 2:14:21
  And he says all this and it's stuff that's already happened
• 2:14:23
  to. And I think, oh, I want to go
• 2:14:25
  and watch like the Mind robber now because he says about being
• 2:14:29
  in the universe of a mind of a madman and stuff.
• 2:14:31
  And you just you want to go back and see the episodes.
• 2:14:35
  I mean, again, this is like annoying, just that one line
• 2:14:38
  about the universe of a mad mat. He just the way he emphasizes
• 2:14:42
  every word of that speech. Yeah.
• 2:14:44
  And you think you? Think he's give it 100.
• 2:14:46
  Percent. And then the tears start coming
• 2:14:48
  down his eyes. And then the.
• 2:14:50
  Director gets in on it as well and we start panning out
• 2:14:53
  upwards, don't we? Yeah.
• 2:14:55
  Frustrating to Cam. It's incredible.
• 2:15:00
  Do you know what? It's just, yeah, it just
• 2:15:02
  shouldn't be quotable. But it is like sometimes I'll
• 2:15:04
  just be making a cup of tea and I'll just shower, make parasite
• 2:15:08
  God's blazer, which again, I don't think it's alright, but I
• 2:15:13
  don't think it's as good as this.
• 2:15:15
  And. 42, it was below 42 as well.
• 2:15:19
  OK, that's interesting. Well, because I remember some of
• 2:15:21
  the ones that are right at the bottom, like Fear Her and things
• 2:15:24
  like that. I think the reason this is my
• 2:15:27
  favorite though, is I guess that's the question is it's
• 2:15:32
  almost like a microcosm of what I think people think of as
• 2:15:35
  Doctor Who. I mean, there's a slightly camp
• 2:15:37
  villain. There's a lot of running down
• 2:15:39
  corridors. There's a bit of bitchiness
• 2:15:42
  between the the regulars or the guest cast.
• 2:15:48
  Yeah, I just, I don't know. This is the story that I found
• 2:15:52
  myself after I got the DVD set, going back to it again and again
• 2:15:55
  and again. It was just, it's not
• 2:15:57
  complicated. One that's not one you have to
• 2:15:59
  sit and think about and really get it.
• 2:16:01
  You can just put this on after. I think it's.
• 2:16:04
  I get a massive hurt we vibe from this one, you know, going
• 2:16:07
  off to a scientific institute to see a miracle being performed.
• 2:16:11
  You could. Yeah, you could argue you could
• 2:16:14
  see this one in the premier of. Most definitely, yeah.
• 2:16:18
  A Doctor Who story, which is a personal favorite of mine.
• 2:16:21
  I've loved it since I heard the soundtrack on audio cassette in
• 2:16:24
  the 90s and it's quite a special story for us, isn't it Jo?
• 2:16:29
  What for you and me? Yeah, because is this the?
• 2:16:33
  First time we met. It was the BFI screaming of the
• 2:16:36
  evil of the Daleks. That was a great day as well.
• 2:16:39
  I absolutely love that weekend. It was.
• 2:16:42
  It was fabulous. I didn't even know you were
• 2:16:44
  there. No, didn't you?
• 2:16:46
  Didn't you sneak up behind me in the bar?
• 2:16:48
  I snuck up behind you in the theatre and then I went and had
• 2:16:51
  a drink with you in the bar afterwards sneaking.
• 2:16:54
  Up beyond me in a dark room is not always a good idea.
• 2:16:58
  Now, well, it was it was actually Si Hart who put me on
• 2:17:02
  to you because I put a picture of myself outside the BFI on my
• 2:17:07
  on my Twitter feed saying I'm just about to go in for Eva the
• 2:17:10
  Daleks. And Si messaged back and said,
• 2:17:12
  oh right, look out for Joe, he's there as well.
• 2:17:13
  Ah, right. OK.
• 2:17:15
  And there you were. So yeah, this was the first time
• 2:17:19
  we met Joe. Earth meeting.
• 2:17:21
  Not our last, though. Definitely not, no.
• 2:17:26
  Welcome back to A Hamster with a Blood Pen Knife, a Doctor Who
• 2:17:30
  commentary podcast. I am Dylan here once again with
• 2:17:33
  Joe to talk about more Jodie Whittaker.
• 2:17:36
  Joe, how's it going? Oh, marvellous.
• 2:17:39
  Thank you very much. Talking about Jodie Whittaker is
• 2:17:41
  one of our favorite things to do.
• 2:17:43
  It's all we ever do. Or people will think so the
• 2:17:46
  amount of once you've done this, you know.
• 2:17:49
  Yeah, Dylan, I believe you're in a quite a cold, cold climate at
• 2:17:52
  the moment. I am in a cold.
• 2:17:54
  Climate. I'm up.
• 2:17:55
  I'm about 2 1/2 thousand feet up in a a little ski town in
• 2:18:00
  Austria with work and I'm podcasting live from there to
• 2:18:03
  keep myself out of trouble. That's wonderful.
• 2:18:05
  This is the most stylish podcast I've done.
• 2:18:07
  You know, in a nice snowy location.
• 2:18:11
  Are you having fun? I'm having a lovely time.
• 2:18:14
  It's a lot of hard work and I'm trying to keep out of trouble in
• 2:18:16
  the evenings doing podcasts and stuff like that.
• 2:18:19
  What? What nobody knows is, well,
• 2:18:21
  you'll know this because I messaged you last night, but 22
• 2:18:24
  floors down, David Bradley. 'S down there because he's in
• 2:18:27
  the film we're making. Oh.
• 2:18:28
  I never thought there'd be a porno with David Bradley in it,
• 2:18:32
  but OK. So before we go, I have
• 2:18:37
  something else to tell you. All right?
• 2:18:40
  Are you ready for this? I'm ready.
• 2:18:44
  I'm warning you, Stephen, get out of my way.
• 2:18:50
  What am I talking about? I don't know.
• 2:18:56
  That's Tegan's line from 4:00 to.
• 2:18:58
  Doomsday. Ah, yes, yes, of course. 4 to
• 2:19:04
  Doomsday. Well, having seen the end of the
• 2:19:06
  world, we're going to go back in time a little bit where it was
• 2:19:08
  just merely 4 to Doomsday for is it?
• 2:19:12
  Hang on. OK, let's sort this out now
• 2:19:13
  before we before we do before we think about going any further.
• 2:19:16
  For what? To Doomsday.
• 2:19:18
  Four days, perhaps? 44 But there's the doctrine is 3
• 2:19:23
  companions, so is it those 4? 4 regulars. 4 Regulars.
• 2:19:28
  Doomsday. Four more recreationals to
• 2:19:30
  doomsday. I think it's going to be 4
• 2:19:33
  glasses of wine to doomsday. Four more parts of sodium
• 2:19:38
  chlorides to doomsday. I mean, we can do this forever.
• 2:19:41
  I want to say it, and I want to say this before we go in.
• 2:19:44
  I, like you, think this is a stunningly good episode.
• 2:19:47
  I've got a few things to say, but I but I think it's very,
• 2:19:51
  very good introduction. Yeah.
• 2:19:53
  First of all, I just want to call the 11th hour before it all
• 2:19:56
  went to shit. What a promising opening this
• 2:20:00
  is. We we start with the 11th hour
• 2:20:03
  and we end with the time with the doctor.
• 2:20:04
  I mean, what happened? What the fuck happened?
• 2:20:11
  And secondly. I want to No, actually, I'll
• 2:20:16
  wait for when we're in there because I've got a big question
• 2:20:18
  for you about Amy Pond. The 2 Amy Ponds.
• 2:20:20
  But no, I'll ask when we're in there.
• 2:20:22
  Why don't you tell me when you're ready?
• 2:20:25
  Well, before we start though, I do want to take you back in time
• 2:20:30
  a bit. I want to take you back to.
• 2:20:34
  You're doing magic hands as well.
• 2:20:37
  Wibbly wobbly, Wibbly wobbly time effects.
• 2:20:40
  So let's go back to 2008, so 2008 back.
• 2:20:46
  So back to 2008, we've got Doctor Who has been back for
• 2:20:52
  four years now and it has come back and has been brought back
• 2:20:57
  by Russell T Davies, initially with Chris Eccleston and then by
• 2:21:01
  David Tennant. And it is at this time it is as
• 2:21:04
  popular as it has ever been. It's meteoric it.
• 2:21:08
  Is, you know, the shops are full of Doctor Who toys.
• 2:21:11
  David Tennants on buses. The winning awards?
• 2:21:15
  Sarah Jane. Yeah, there's two spin off
• 2:21:19
  shows. You know David Tennant is
• 2:21:20
  winning awards left, right and centre.
• 2:21:23
  Happens. What a time, Fraser, what are we
• 2:21:25
  going back to? What one of those do you
• 2:21:27
  suggest? Oh, that's hard.
• 2:21:30
  That's what she said. I'd I had a great time recording
• 2:21:37
  with Jeff and Sucky when we did the Celestial Toy Maker.
• 2:21:41
  That was a lot of fun. A lot of fun.
• 2:21:45
  Full of praise for its of course that she.
• 2:21:48
  Loved it. Not so much, but we're generally
• 2:21:52
  quite even handed and we try and look for the good in in stories.
• 2:21:56
  But that was one where we all kind of we're all Speaking of on
• 2:22:01
  a similar line and our appreciation for that particular
• 2:22:05
  story. I mean, never mind prestige
• 2:22:07
  guests like Paul Skoons and Nick Pegg.
• 2:22:10
  You've had Nathan Bottomley on? We have, yeah.
• 2:22:13
  He's lovely, lovely, nice. What's he like to record with?
• 2:22:16
  He's a beautiful man and very erudite, very clever.
• 2:22:22
  Just yeah, the perfect podcast host, really.
• 2:22:25
  I'll have to get him on sometime then.
• 2:22:26
  Yeah, yeah, you should try recording with him.
• 2:22:30
  Yourself, do you know what I managed to do this for a new
• 2:22:32
  guess as well. I've gone completely off piece
• 2:22:34
  but who cares. Interesting, So you weren't keen
• 2:22:38
  on Face the Raven? I wasn't.
• 2:22:41
  Why did you pick thin ice? I love it.
• 2:22:44
  I love it. I don't know why, but I'm a
• 2:22:46
  sucker for this type of era by this Regency kind of Victorian
• 2:22:52
  setting. I don't know why.
• 2:22:53
  I just, it would be grim to live there.
• 2:22:57
  Let's face it, it, it would be horrible.
• 2:22:59
  Like everyone would stink. You'd get cholera in about 10
• 2:23:03
  minutes. But I don't know it, it might be
• 2:23:06
  the costumes. It might be just a setting.
• 2:23:10
  I just, I really like it and I like, I don't like that they
• 2:23:14
  kill a kid, but I like that he stays dead.
• 2:23:19
  Yes, like. In the Moffett era, it's so
• 2:23:22
  often someone would die and then they found an air pocket where
• 2:23:26
  he's still alive, where the monster keeps their food alive
• 2:23:29
  until this kid dies. Like there's real.
• 2:23:34
  Bill learns a real lesson in this episode.
• 2:23:38
  Because I've spent much time deliriously enjoying your
• 2:23:41
  YouTube channel and I, I think like the say something nice that
• 2:23:46
  you do where you choose. You're going back, aren't you?
• 2:23:50
  Via ratings. Via ratings, rated story.
• 2:23:54
  In terms of numbers, yeah. Yeah.
• 2:23:56
  So I started with Battlefield Part 1.
• 2:23:58
  Yeah. And.
• 2:23:59
  And you managed to find and, and of course you can find something
• 2:24:02
  nice to say about every single Doctor.
• 2:24:04
  There's anyone who says that Doctor says irredeemable is
• 2:24:07
  completely wrong. But the things you find are so
• 2:24:10
  unique sometimes it's glorious. Also, I think you are one of the
• 2:24:15
  people online doing a massive service for Jodie Whisker on
• 2:24:21
  YouTube and I think that is hugely refreshing.
• 2:24:26
  It's called Whitaker, isn't it called?
• 2:24:28
  Oh yeah, I walk to work with Whitaker on my Whitaker reviews
• 2:24:31
  and they will be back when the new series.
• 2:24:33
  Comes on. I mean the.
• 2:24:34
  Thing is, I I fully acknowledge that there are problems with the
• 2:24:39
  Chimp Mill era, but I just, I just kind of try to come from a
• 2:24:44
  point of view of I know. There are going to be problems.
• 2:24:47
  So I'm just going to look for the things I enjoy in it.
• 2:24:51
  And it's, it's kind of like, I think if there are obviously a
• 2:24:58
  lot of fan commentators who decided the second Jodie
• 2:25:01
  Whittaker took the hood of her head in the in the in the reveal
• 2:25:05
  video that they were not going to enjoy the zero.
• 2:25:07
  And but also there are people who wanted to enjoy this era and
• 2:25:10
  find that they're not. But I think the difference
• 2:25:14
  between those things is those people who found their stuff.
• 2:25:18
  That they don't enjoy in the zero.
• 2:25:20
  They watched it to find that out.
• 2:25:22
  Yeah, from both of you, because I'm sure this is going to be,
• 2:25:25
  you know, flowering with praise. I would say that it ranges from
• 2:25:33
  boring to irritatingly lacking in basic competence.
• 2:25:42
  And you Were the one came on lauding Iraqis in the UK.
• 2:25:46
  Oh, I think that's really fun. I think that is properly fun.
• 2:25:49
  But again, we said at the time the Doctor doesn't do anything
• 2:25:52
  to resolve the situation and it seems to have no sort of moral
• 2:25:57
  standpoint. And the big disappointment I
• 2:25:59
  think, is we've got our first female Doctor and not much
• 2:26:02
  thought has gone into what the character should be like.
• 2:26:05
  And she doesn't really defeat the villains as she doesn't, you
• 2:26:10
  know, seem to have a consistent moral viewpoint.
• 2:26:13
  And there's always something baffling, I think, here in Villa
• 2:26:16
  di Adasi, which has to be among the best of the era, if not the
• 2:26:20
  best of the era. She's.
• 2:26:23
  Got some great man in history thing happening which I just
• 2:26:27
  find a little bit worrying. Everyone always says it's the
• 2:26:30
  Doctor, the bit where she knows it's the Doctor, where she's
• 2:26:34
  outside the TARDIS. But actually, I think it's the
• 2:26:37
  staff room scene that is most wonderful because Sarah Jane is
• 2:26:42
  turning on the charm and she doesn't know it's the Doctor,
• 2:26:45
  but she is doing her job. And it's just the brief from the
• 2:26:49
  moment she just said that hello in the way that she she does.
• 2:26:55
  I was just oh, hang on, I've got some something is.
• 2:26:58
  Did you go back then and watch her old story?
• 2:27:01
  Yeah, I, well, obviously I've watched a lot of them anyway.
• 2:27:04
  But then you start to notice what she's doing.
• 2:27:06
  And because her acting is not showy, when you watch back with
• 2:27:12
  the right kind of mentality, you're going to see what she's
• 2:27:16
  actually doing. And then I think, Oh no,
• 2:27:17
  actually, no, she is. She is great, isn't she?
• 2:27:21
  She says an autobiography. She's very much like a method
• 2:27:23
  actress. So she would prepare for a
• 2:27:25
  scene, yes, and get into it. And like when she's in a scene,
• 2:27:28
  she's not acting. She's that person in that scene.
• 2:27:30
  Yeah. Hello and welcome back to a
• 2:27:34
  Hamster with a Blunt Pen Knife. My name's Mark.
• 2:27:38
  Welcome back to a Hamster with a Blunt pen Knife, The Doctor Who
• 2:27:41
  Commentary Podcast. Welcome back to Hamster with a
• 2:27:45
  blunt pen Knife. The Doctor Who Commentary
• 2:27:48
  Podcast in which today I'm talking to Joe and we are going
• 2:27:53
  to sit down and watch finally, episode 6 of the Sensorise.
• 2:27:59
  Welcome back to a hamster with a blunt penknife.
• 2:28:02
  The Doctor Who Commentary Podcast.
• 2:28:05
  I'm still here and I'm with Joe. I have alcohol, Joe has tea
• 2:28:10
  hello and welcome to a hamster with a blunt pen knife could do
• 2:28:14
  it quicker The Doctor Who commentary podcast I'm Tom Baker
• 2:28:20
  and I'm here with I'm. Slightly aroused if I'm.
• 2:28:24
  Welcome back to A Hamster with a Blunt Pen Knife, the Doctor Who
• 2:28:28
  commentary podcast that is feeling very nostalgic this
• 2:28:31
  evening. Welcome to Hamster with a Blunt
• 2:28:34
  pen Knife, the Doctor Who Commentaries podcast.
• 2:28:37
  Where we are in darkest, actually quite sunny Cornwall
• 2:28:43
  except sort of Oxford. And there are stones and they
• 2:28:46
  are stones of blood, which are by far the scariest type of
• 2:28:48
  stone if you ask me. Welcome back to a hamster with a
• 2:28:52
  blunt pen Knife, the Doctor Who Commentary Podcast.
• 2:28:55
  My name is Daniel and I'm here with Joe, who at the moment is
• 2:28:58
  holding his cat. Welcome back to Hamster with a
• 2:29:02
  blunt pen Knife. The Doctor Who commentary
• 2:29:04
  podcast. I'm here with Joe.
• 2:29:07
  We are shortly going to go into episode 2 of The Caves
• 2:29:11
  Bandrazzani. Welcome back to Hamster with a
• 2:29:14
  blunt pen knife. We're here for Part 2 of Death
• 2:29:19
  to the Daleks. Welcome back to Hamster with a
• 2:29:23
  blunt pen knife. With your host Joe Ford and
• 2:29:26
  myself Stephen B. From you to who and.
• 2:29:31
  And me? I'm Nathan Bottomley from flight
• 2:29:33
  through entirety. Oh, welcome back to I'm I'm your
• 2:29:40
  Chris toast this evening, Jacqua.
• 2:29:43
  So when there's always by the forecast curator message.
• 2:29:50
  Good day and welcome to a Hamster with a Blunt Pen Knife,
• 2:29:53
  the only Doctor Who commentary podcast broadcast in an
• 2:29:56
  Aboriginal dialects not heard in over 12,000 years.
• 2:30:00
  I'm Steven Jovanka and I'm here with Joe Jovanka.
• 2:30:04
  Say hello, Joe Jovanka. Good day mates.
• 2:30:07
  Hello and welcome back to a hamster with a blunt pen Knife.
• 2:30:11
  My name's for Valentine. I'm this week's guest and that's
• 2:30:16
  not a bad intro, is it, Joe? That was OK.
• 2:30:19
  Good. Oh.
• 2:30:20
  I've got a I've got a question for you.
• 2:30:22
  Oh yeah, I'm 76 years old and I am reborn to all the listeners.
• 2:30:31
  I'm Dave, the guests on Hams with a Bumpy Knife today and I'm
• 2:30:37
  with the. Wonderful, Brilliant.
• 2:30:39
  The amazing host, Joe Ford. How are you doing, Joe?
• 2:30:43
  I don't respond to any of those things, I'm afraid.
• 2:30:48
  Hello and welcome back to Part 2 of Hamster with a Blunt Pen.
• 2:30:52
  Knife Goes to Lagopoulos. Will we escape?
• 2:30:56
  Will we survive? Will entropy destroy us?
• 2:31:00
  Will the combative and feisty relationship between 1.
• 2:31:04
  Joe Ford, Esquire and myself result in the destruction of the
• 2:31:08
  universe. TuneIn right now define.
• 2:31:11
  Hello dear listeners and welcome.
• 2:31:13
  Back to a. Hamster with a blunt pen knife.
• 2:31:15
  The only Doctor Who commentary podcast who knows exactly where
• 2:31:19
  they're going to be when the Pickles run out.
• 2:31:21
  I'm Brendan. And jerk and let the.
• 2:31:26
  Cloak, OH. The right cling.
• 2:31:31
  To. Your bones.
• 2:31:34
  Cling to your bones. Wake up.
• 2:31:41
  Wake up. And welcome back to Hamster with
• 2:31:47
  a blunt pen knife with me, Joe Ford.
• 2:31:52
  And me, Mr. Luke Malloy? What?
• 2:31:55
  Would you do without me? How do you get through the rest
• 2:31:58
  of them? I.
• 2:31:59
  Don't know I get through life without you.
• 2:32:05
  Oh do hurry up. A hamster with a blunt pen knife
• 2:32:08
  would do it quicker. Goodbye.
• 2:32:13
  It's good, isn't it? The.
• 2:33:30
  The. The.