Latest / Soul Salon with Ayandastood / Your IMPERFECT action is more DIVINE than you think

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Your IMPERFECT action is more DIVINE than you think · Soul Salon with Ayandastood

• 0:00
  You have a divine purpose to express in this lifetime, but perfectionism is getting in your way. Am I right or am I correct?
• 0:17
  You have a divine purpose to express in this lifetime, but perfectionism is getting in your way. Perfectionism is blocking the divine flow of your creativity, of your vision, of your purpose from truly allowing itself to flow and express through you.
• 0:33
  So if you imagine the channel from the divine, from the infinite, from your higher power, from the universe, from the cosmos, the channel that is that feeling when an idea drops in, a download, a possibility comes through you and it feels, oh, it feels delicious. It feels full of possibility expansion. I get this very expansive energy pulsing through me. But then what happens?
• 0:56
  Then the voices of doubt, of perfectionism, of it's never going to be good enough, get in the way. And this becomes a block to us expressing our purpose in this lifetime. Now, here's what I want to express because it's quite paradoxical. We didn't come here to be perfect channels of the infinite.
• 1:15
  So you may think, oh, I feel called to sing, but when I sing, my voice cracks or I don't sound quote unquote perfect. Or you might feel called to perform and act and then realize that there are these moments that feel a little bit clunky. They feel a little bit, you know, like not like mastery or not like excellence that you think you're supposed to embody. But what's really interesting is if you take a deep inhale now with me, inhaling.
• 1:39
  and exhaling. Do you see how that flows naturally? Think of all the processes in your body that are very natural. So when we create, when we create from a place of flow, we will experience quote unquote imperfections.
• 1:56
  Like when you see a child sing or a child put on a play or when a child writes a book. My best friend was just showing me this beautiful novel that he wrote when he was just a child, maybe seven, eight, nine years old. I can't remember because, you know, memory sometimes is difficult. But was it about how perfect it was?
• 2:14
  Is that what being in a natural state of flow looks like? No, that's what we've been taught by the powers that be, by the systems really, that show us Olympians and say, look how in flow the Olympian is. As though if they were less perfect, that would be a lesser form of flow. But that's not the case. We see children in flow when they're playing, when they're making believe, when they're expressing. We're not thinking to ourselves, oh, but they made this grammar mistake or they didn't sing on this pitch or this key was off. We're seeing someone in complete divine flow.
• 2:44
  So what I think is paradoxical is as people who are, you know, spiritual, mystical, witchy, just in touch with the divine at all times, or at least trying to be, we can think that we are here to express that perfection that we witness in the sense of the cosmos or the higher power. But it's actually not the case. We're here to not allow the ego, the mind, the sense of control to block what wants to channel through us.
• 3:10
  so if you are feeling called to sing or to dance or to express know that the perfectionism is not the purpose of that calling I'm so drawn to excellence I'm a Capricorn rising and also I just like I know that my soul chose a family system a structure that was going to make me think that my worth was going to come from perfection
• 3:38
  Now, this is love to all people involved. I believe that my soul asked them to do that for me so that I could think, oh, you know where my value comes from? You know what makes me worthy of anything is how excellent I am, is how perfect I am. You know what allows me to feel proud of my existence is how excellent and perfect I am.
• 3:59
  My soul chose a reality, I believe, that would manifest that as true so that I could choose a different knowing. So that I could choose to believe, wait, I get to celebrate myself even when I'm not perfect. But even more than that, I get to express my purpose and not let the point be my perfection. Now, let me give you an example.
• 4:22
  For a few years, I have dreamed of being a podcast host who interviews others. Okay. Now, the funny thing about a dream is when we're imagining it, obviously we are romanticizing the dream completely. That's what a dream is. It's only one side, one face, so that we'll feel so compelled by this dream that we will continue to walk towards it, even in the face of challenge, even in the face of polarity, because we know that we cannot achieve the light of that dream without sitting with the darkness.
• 4:50
  And so for me, what I envisioned was this expansive feeling of being in these studios and interviewing these incredible ghosts. Ghosts. Oh, my goodness. Wow. What happened? What do you want to say? The word ghost actually has been coming to me so often recently. Like so many times it's just been appearing in my field recently, like at an improv class.
• 5:12
  In a song that I'm creating, there's just so many different things where ghost keeps coming through. So, I mean, it's on my consciousness. It's in my heart, which means it's being, you know, seeking to be expressed to me. So I don't know who needed to hear that, but yes. So interviewing these incredible guests in presence, in awe, in delight, in flow. Then what happened?
• 5:35
  Now, it's still happening because we earn that feeling through continuing to show up for it. We don't instantly necessarily. Sometimes we do. Sometimes you start something and it's like instantly it just feels like, oh, my gosh, this is it. So for me, it does feel like that. But there's this voice of perfectionism that came with me.
• 5:53
  the voice of inner critic the inner critic within me is saying oh you didn't listen you didn't ask the right question after that oh my word you're changing too many subjects too many topics no one can follow what you're saying you're gonna make your questions more clear more concise you're saying too much it's distracting no one's going to be able to really sink it like so much criticism
• 6:13
  so much punishment. And is that how we want to live? Like, is that fun? Is that the dream to live? You're performing on the stage you always dreamed of, but the voice inside your head is being mean to you. We don't think about that. We think about the external reality. So you go to a music concert and you see your favorite artists singing on a stage and you're in awe of them. You think, what must that feel like? But what we don't think about is what does their inner world need to look like for them to actually enjoy what they're doing?
• 6:39
  Because you could be a world-known comedian, you could be an actress, but if you have a punishing inner world, you're just going to bring that punishing inner world with you wherever you go. So this is why I firmly believe that working on your dream, it is just as important to tend to the inner garden of your soul.
• 6:56
  to create a space within you that feels loving and nurturing so that when you do get those opportunities you're not punishing yourself the entire time so that when you do receive the dream email or collaboration you're not saying ah i don't deserve this i'm unworthy you're not saying what if i mess this up you're enjoying it
• 7:14
  So we may think working on my dreams means showing up for my craft, you know, here showing up on YouTube, showing up where you feel called, submitting to agents, submitting, applying for grants or scholarships. But it's equally, am I the kind of person who's actually going to enjoy being that author, being that speaker, being that singer?
• 7:32
  Have I created a space within myself that can know enjoyment, that can know flow? And isn't that what the divine wants to experience through me, is this feeling of levity that it gets to experience through children, playing, dancing, expressing, singing. This feeling of delight, this feeling of pleasure, this feeling of presence, this feeling of
• 7:53
  Because when we're criticizing ourselves, we're not being fully present to what the universe has put before us. So now I'm increasingly like, okay, if I know that I have a purpose, what can I do? And this is an eternal lesson. It's not a new lesson, but it's manifested in a new way. How can I enjoy what I'm calling in, not just have it? Like, yeah, I could have an incredible show. I could have this person and that person. I could change lives in these ways and those ways. But if I'm sitting there literally listing all the things I did wrong, what?
• 8:23
  What kind of joy is that? Is that what the divine was? Is that my purpose in this lifetime is to suffer? I think not. So we're going to allow, even as I'm making this video to you, I'm like, is this good enough? Are they receiving enough from this? Am I speaking? Am I, you know, is it there? And I want to experience us just in flow, you know, like when you see someone taking over,
• 8:50
  And yeah, we live in a culture that rewards what it views as excellence because there's also a beauty to that. Let's talk about the other side of this. It's not that there's something inherently wrong with wanting to be really excellent at your craft, singing, dancing. There's not. That's beautiful. I mean, we've all benefited from artists who've insisted on showing up for their craft. I'm reading this bio of Nina Simone's. It's not written by her, but it's all about her.
• 9:21
  And she practiced piano for like five to seven hours a day for decades. Like, can you even imagine? Can you even imagine? Which also makes me mourn what technology is taking away from us in terms of our capacity to have intimacy with our craft and with our gifts. Because how many of us, I mean, have the patience, are willing to sit with the discomfort, have the devotion to sit with our craft. I mean, I'm not like promoting overwork.
• 9:51
  But I'm just saying that that's the kind of dedication and focus that I do believe is being is corroding. You know, it's being degraded. It's being washed away because now there's so many alternatives. But anyways, imagine the dedication and focus. So obviously on Nina Simone's first day practicing piano, she wasn't able to hold herself to the standard that she was able to on her 2000th day. So I think part of the
• 10:20
  desire for excellence needs to be met with patience it needs to be met with humility what if I'm holding myself to a standard I haven't earned oh let's hear that again what if I'm holding myself to a standard that I have not yet earned so I have this beautiful law let's call it do we like the word law babes I think not I mean who would
• 10:41
  Let's call it the rule. Okay. I call it the rule of 100. It's called the rule of 100. What I told myself when I started my podcast, I said to myself, I'm going to get to 100 episodes. And only then am I going to judge how well this is going. You know what I mean? Only then am I going to allow myself to say, you know what I mean? I'm going to get to 100 episodes. And now with interviewing, I'm like, I'm going to get to 100 interviews.
• 11:06
  And that's going to be the way that I earn what that inner critic is trying to call me forth into, which is a level of excellence that it sees for me. So. You don't have to use the number 100 because that can be daunting. You could use the number 10. You could use the number five. And in those early five, early 10, early 100, the only goal is.
• 11:32
  To create, to not judge. Ed Sheeran has that example of the tap. I think this is where I learned it from, where, you know, you open the tap and at first this gross water comes out. But eventually, and his thing is he writes multiple songs, sometimes five songs a day.
• 11:51
  eventually it's going to clear and there'll be those droplets of pure, fresh, clear water. So we need to be willing to sit with the murkiness. But what I also think is fascinating is, from the perspective of this video, the divine also wants to experience the murkiness through us. It's not more divine to be excellent. It's an interesting little paradox, right? Because devotion is divine.
• 12:19
  But devotion requires being a beginner first. So how can being an expert be divine, but not a beginner? You know what I mean? The one requires the other as an earlier stage. It's like saying you love the blossom, but you hate the seed. You think the blossom has God or spirit or the universe in it, but you think the seed doesn't. At every stage there is divinity. At every stage, there is something worth celebrating.
• 12:50
  And at every stage, there is this infinite intelligence expressing through you. So even that murky water, even those initial drafts that feel like stumbling, there is God in them. There is divinity in them. You know, when I speak about God, I'm talking about the universe, the cosmos, the cause of the cause of everything. I'm talking about intuition. I'm talking about inspiration, spirit, soul.
• 13:20
  That is in every stage if we allow it to be. But what blocks that at every single stage, whether you are Nina Simone or whether you're Nina Simone, the first day or her last day of practicing her music, what blocks the feeling that this is more than enough.
• 13:40
  is the perfectionism that we know is systemic, that we know has a lot to do with capitalism, with white supremacy, with hierarchy, like a hierarchical version of what living is, that there are some things that are better than other things to be. And the lower quote unquote you are, the more shamed you should be.
• 14:01
  So we know that this perfectionism we each carry is systemic. We know that its light side is the desire to grow, and we can harness that. But the dark side is the punishing feeling, the feeling of disposing of ourselves if we're not good enough. So can we invite the idea that at every stage of our journey, there is something to celebrate? We don't only celebrate the butterfly's wings, but the cocoon forming around the caterpillar.
• 14:32
  Every stage is divine and we can invite celebration into every single stage of our becoming. Exactly where you are is somewhere you once longed to be. I want to say that again. Exactly where you are is where you once longed to be. Your cocoon is someone else's butterfly wings.
• 15:00
  Your, oh, I'm just a bud, is someone else's version of blossoming. I was telling one of my friends who I hadn't seen in a long time that I've been doing these interviews and she was like, what you've been interviewing people like in a studio? She was like, oh my God. And I kind of like, cause it's now become normal to me. I lost touch of actually how magical that is, how I dreamed and yearned of this. And now I'm fixating on how I'm lacking.
• 15:30
  Let's come back into our wholeness. Let's come back into our divine, juicy worthiness to express at any stage. To sing, quote unquote, badly. I don't even like that word. But to not always hold ourselves to this punishing standard. To find the joy and the aliveness as the ultimate expression of the divine. How alive do I feel? Am I allowing myself to feel alive?
• 16:02
  I'm sending so much love to you. Whatever perfectionism is blocking you from pressing send, publish, or let's go on. Let's invite you to take that step imperfectly. Something I say to myself, imperfect action is the only action. Perfect action usually only exists in our imagination, or it can't be controlled when it does happen. So as you take aligned action to your dreams.
• 16:32
  Give yourself permission at every single step to show up imperfectly and to allow that to be the expression of divinity that it is. Because if the divine wanted to only be experienced as perfect, it just wouldn't have manifested as life.
• 16:54
  Life is always imperfect. It wouldn't have chosen to express in human form, in plant form, in bacteria form, if it just wanted to be completely perfect. If it didn't want to experience pain, suffering, it wouldn't have come as us. If it never wanted to experience what it's like to make a mistake.
• 17:18
  So trust your unfolding, trust the process and celebrate yourself for the just magnificence and magic that you are. I'm sending so much love to you. I'm sending so much love through you. I hope this has served your deepest consciousness and I will see you on the next soul session. I love you. Bye. My darling, my love, my soul sibling, thank you for stepping into the soul salon.
• 17:47
  If you are still hearing or watching this, we are soul siblings. We are resonating on the same frequency. And so something you may struggle with that I struggle with is the fear of being seen. You know that visibility is involved in you living your creative purpose and being in your power, serving the collective through your gifts, through your magic, through your medicine. In order to do that, you know you need to be more seen than you are allowing yourself to be right now.
• 18:14
  I have a gift just for you, heart made for us on this frequency. And it is a free ebook called the soulful visibility guide that is soulful visibility. Like we don't just want to be seen. We want to be felt. We want to be heard. We want to move and be moved. So I do have a free gift for you. And all you need to do is go to my website, I understood.com. And there you will be able to input your email address and receive this directly to your inbox.
• 18:43
  This is such a juicy and delicious guide. And I change the free offering every few months. So, you know, get it while you can. All the links are in the show notes. So thank you so much. I love you. And I will see you on the next Soul Session. Okay. I love you. Bye.
• 23:35
  My darling, my love, my soul sibling, thank you for stepping into the soul salon. If you are still hearing or watching this, we are soul siblings. We are resonating on the same frequency. And so something you may struggle with that I struggle with is the fear of being seen. You know that visibility is involved in you living your creative purpose and being in your power.
• 23:57
  serving the collective through your gifts, through your magic, through your medicine. In order to do that, you know you need to be more seen than you are allowing yourself to be right now. I have a gift just for you, heart made for us on this frequency.
• 24:13
  And it is a free ebook called the soulful visibility guide that is soulful visibility. Like we don't just want to be seen. We want to be felt. We want to be heard. We want to move and be moved. So I do have a free gift for you. And all you need to do is go to my website. I understood.com. And there you will be able to input your email address and receive this directly to your inbox.
• 24:37
  This is such a juicy and delicious guide. And I change the free offering every few months. So, you know, get it while you can. All the links are in the show notes. So thank you so much. I love you. And I will see you on the next Soul Session. Okay. I love you. Bye.