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Bonus IMPROV - Mark Grifstein, the Doctor · Very Fine Friends

• 0:00
  Welcome.
• 0:16
  What are you welcoming me to?
• 0:17
  I'm welcoming you to Very Fine Friends.
• 0:22
  You are?
• 0:22
  Yeah. Do you want to know what we do here?
• 0:24
  Oh, please. Is this a regular podcast?
• 0:26
  Uh-huh. Well, no, not just regular. It's a bonus one.
• 0:29
  What does that mean?
• 0:30
  It's when we do bonus improv.
• 0:33
  That sounds like you might need something.
• 0:35
  Oh, I think you're really good at this.
• 0:37
  I might need a suggestion.
• 0:39
  Should I give it to you?
• 0:40
  No, I want it from our producer, Joe.
• 0:42
  Oh my God.
• 0:44
  What do you say, Joe?
• 0:46
  Can you give us a suggestion?
• 0:47
  I sure can.
• 0:49
  Thank you.
• 0:50
  Your suggestion is...
• 0:54
  Yes, we're hauling pins and needles.
• 0:59
  That's an irreversible binomial.
• 1:02
  Yeah.
• 1:04
  Very good.
• 1:08
  Podiatry.
• 1:09
  Ah, footstuff.
• 1:11
  And kids.
• 1:13
  What?
• 1:15
  See episode like two of Very Fine Friends.
• 1:18
  Oh.
• 1:19
  Yeah.
• 1:20
  I was like, man.
• 1:21
  That's a deep cut from the vault.
• 1:24
  Yeah.
• 1:25
  Season one.
• 1:26
  Check it out, y'all.
• 1:29
  Podiatry.
• 1:29
  You ever been to a podiatrist?
• 1:30
  Nope.
• 1:31
  I have.
• 1:31
  Really?
• 1:32
  Yeah.
• 1:33
  Are they real doctors?
• 1:36
  I hope so.
• 1:36
  I pay the copay.
• 1:38
  Well, I mean, like, you know what I mean.
• 1:39
  Do they go to real medical school?
• 1:41
  Yeah.
• 1:42
  Then they specialize.
• 1:43
  Instead of vaginas, it's foots.
• 1:46
  But, like, what could happen to your foot that could affect the rest of your body?
• 1:52
  You know...
• 1:53
  Because your foot can't get a disease that's, like, going to make your heart stop, will it?
• 1:59
  Maybe.
• 2:00
  You know, if any infection enters the bloodstream, it could get to the heart.
• 2:04
  Yeah.
• 2:06
  But then aren't you just dealing, like, then aren't you specializing in infections?
• 2:11
  No.
• 2:13
  There's bones in the foot.
• 2:14
  Tendons.
• 2:15
  Ligaments.
• 2:15
  There's bones in the foot.
• 2:18
  Ingrown nails.
• 2:21
  That's something that my nail person takes care of.
• 2:27
  What if it was medically necessary to go to a specialist?
• 2:31
  Hmm.
• 2:33
  Okay.
• 2:34
  All right.
• 2:34
  Sorry, podiatrist.
• 2:36
  I'm bringing you down.
• 2:38
  I'm working for you here.
• 2:39
  I'm doing PR for you.
• 2:42
  Did they fix whatever your problem was?
• 2:44
  Yeah, they did.
• 2:45
  Hmm.
• 2:46
  That's nice.
• 2:47
  Yeah.
• 2:50
  Not the kind of specialty I would do if I was going to medical school.
• 2:53
  I don't think I want to look at feet all day.
• 2:55
  Because they're not all nice.
• 2:57
  Yeah.
• 2:57
  In fact, they're...
• 2:58
  Mostly not.
• 2:59
  Mostly not.
• 3:00
  Mostly not.
• 3:03
  What would you want to look at All day Like as a doctor Like as a specialist If you had to pick a specialty you can just be like a general family doctor or whatever
• 3:14
  You kind of like be specific.
• 3:20
  I don't know.
• 3:24
  How granular can we get?
• 3:27
  Let's say you can do anything you want.
• 3:28
  You don't have to limit it to what we know.
• 3:32
  Forearms.
• 3:36
  That's interesting.
• 3:37
  Yeah.
• 3:38
  I like forearms.
• 3:40
  Yeah, I'm good with just the two.
• 3:42
  I think...
• 3:44
  Hey!
• 3:49
  Yeah.
• 3:51
  Sorry, Joe has to cross the room to do that.
• 3:55
  Sure feels like it sometimes.
• 3:58
  Yeah, I think forearms are generally...
• 4:02
  I don't think they're
• 4:04
  usually like
• 4:05
  gross looking forearms
• 4:07
  so I don't think
• 4:07
  you'd run into like
• 4:09
  you know like
• 4:11
  no one has like
• 4:12
  I don't want to see your forearm
• 4:13
  like
• 4:14
  true
• 4:14
  I've never
• 4:15
  yeah that's true
• 4:15
  and then
• 4:16
  when they're good looking
• 4:18
  that's good
• 4:19
  I think that's
• 4:21
  probably the most
• 4:21
  attractive feature
• 4:23
  on a good looking man
• 4:25
  yeah it's
• 4:25
  it's never like
• 4:26
  you can't have an ugly forearm
• 4:28
  you can have like a
• 4:28
  whatever
• 4:29
  a whatever forearm
• 4:30
  but it's not ugly
• 4:31
  It's not going to be gross and ugly.
• 4:33
  But a nice forearm is a nice damn forearm.
• 4:36
  Yeah.
• 4:37
  I went to the dermatologist the other day because I needed, well, it was, whatever, it's bullshit.
• 4:43
  It's like a money thing.
• 4:44
  But like, while I was there, she's like, oh, do you want to do your skin exam?
• 4:51
  And I'm like, what?
• 4:52
  Like, I'm here for a prescription.
• 4:53
  She's like, yeah, but you're supposed to get it every year.
• 4:56
  And insurance covers it once a year.
• 4:57
  I'm like, oh, I guess or whatever.
• 4:59
  I had to get almost totally naked.
• 5:02
  Yeah, they like check your whole body, right?
• 5:03
  Yeah.
• 5:04
  She was like going over my whole body.
• 5:05
  And she goes, oh, and make sure your socks off too.
• 5:07
  She has to look between your toes.
• 5:08
  I'm like, I don't like this.
• 5:10
  I didn't come here for this.
• 5:12
  That's how they make sure you didn't like no new moles.
• 5:15
  I'll let you know when I got a new mole.
• 5:19
  Anyway.
• 5:19
  Well, yeah, that doesn't sound pleasant.
• 5:21
  I know it's something you're supposed to do, but I don't want to do it.
• 5:23
  Everything was fine, just so you know.
• 5:24
  Hmm?
• 5:24
  Everything was fine.
• 5:25
  Good.
• 5:25
  She had like this other assistant in the room, and I saw her look over once.
• 5:29
  So I was sitting there in my underwear.
• 5:30
  She looked.
• 5:31
  She looked.
• 5:32
  She copped a look.
• 5:34
  Can you blame her?
• 5:35
  Nah.
• 5:36
  I know what I got.
• 5:39
  So do we.
• 5:44
  And now, improv.
• 5:53
  Rachel?
• 5:54
  Mm-hmm?
• 5:55
  Now, I know that your test results came back and everything was good.
• 5:59
  But before we can discharge you from Hope Memorial Hospital, we need you to be seen by a specialist.
• 6:06
  Oh, of course. Whatever it takes to get out of here.
• 6:08
  All right It be in just a moment Okay All right God I hope everything okay Hello little lady Oh hi Hi Hello I Mark Grifstein
• 6:20
  I'm sorry, what's...
• 6:21
  Mark Grifstein, the doctor.
• 6:23
  Mark Grifstein?
• 6:24
  Yep.
• 6:25
  And I'm going to be looking at your lips.
• 6:27
  Oh, okay.
• 6:29
  Oh, my God.
• 6:29
  Is there something wrong with my lips?
• 6:30
  Well, let's not get a hold of ourselves.
• 6:33
  I mean, ahead of our holds.
• 6:34
  I mean, you know what I mean.
• 6:34
  Oh, yeah.
• 6:35
  I got you.
• 6:36
  Don't worry.
• 6:36
  This is just a formality.
• 6:38
  Okay.
• 6:38
  I went to many years of medical school so I could look at lips.
• 6:41
  Oh, that's your specialty is lips.
• 6:44
  That's what I do.
• 6:46
  Oh, so like not even an ENT?
• 6:50
  Like not even an ear, nose, and throat guy?
• 6:52
  Oh, no, that would have taken much more time.
• 6:54
  Just the lips.
• 6:55
  Just the lips.
• 6:56
  And occasionally those columns above the lips.
• 6:59
  But I wouldn't feel comfortable doing that alone.
• 7:01
  The columns above the lips?
• 7:03
  You know, the collagen.
• 7:05
  Oh, like the little dent?
• 7:07
  Yes.
• 7:08
  Yeah, what's that? Is that a filter? What's that called?
• 7:10
  I told you I do leap, son.
• 7:12
  Oh, okay. All right, sorry.
• 7:13
  It's okay, sit back. Everything's going to be fine.
• 7:15
  Okay, Dr. Grifstein.
• 7:16
  Actually, I think I went to school with your father. I think I recognize your last name.
• 7:19
  Oh. It's a pretty common last name.
• 7:23
  You're right. Mildred Stern.
• 7:25
  Yeah.
• 7:25
  Pretty common.
• 7:26
  Pretty common.
• 7:28
  And lean back.
• 7:29
  Okay.
• 7:32
  Oh, no. What?
• 7:34
  I am a girl.
• 7:35
  What?
• 7:36
  Oh, goodness.
• 7:36
  Oh, no. What?
• 7:37
  Oh, I've never seen this in person.
• 7:39
  What?
• 7:40
  Oh, this is horrible.
• 7:42
  Doctor, just give it to me straight.
• 7:44
  Everything looks okay, hon.
• 7:46
  Um, yeah, I think everything's gonna be fine.
• 7:50
  Why, why, why did you gasp?
• 7:52
  And why did it seem like you're about to cry?
• 7:54
  I gotta talk to your father.
• 7:56
  I've got to call your father.
• 7:58
  What? Why?
• 8:00
  I think it's better if I just tell him.
• 8:03
  Is this about me, though?
• 8:05
  Yes.
• 8:06
  It's about your lips.
• 8:07
  Oh, my God.
• 8:08
  Call him.
• 8:09
  Here, here, here.
• 8:10
  Here.
• 8:11
  Here, just take my phone.
• 8:13
  Here.
• 8:14
  He went to voicemail.
• 8:15
  No, no.
• 8:17
  Hang up a dial again.
• 8:18
  All right, too.
• 8:19
  One more time.
• 8:19
  He'll answer.
• 8:20
  All right, went to voicemail.
• 8:22
  Oh, one more time?
• 8:23
  One more time.
• 8:24
  It's ringing.
• 8:29
  Hello?
• 8:31
  Greg.
• 8:33
  Who's this?
• 8:34
  It's the gruffer.
• 8:35
  My man.
• 8:37
  How you been?
• 8:39
  Mark, mark, mark
• 8:40
  How did we lose touch, old buddy, old pal?
• 8:47
  God, I love you
• 8:48
  Oh, you son of a bitch, you married the hottest girl in school
• 8:51
  Oh, yep, and I'm still married to her
• 8:53
  We do stuff
• 8:55
  Oh, you old dog
• 8:57
  Anyway, your daughter's got stage four lipitis
• 9:03
  And she's gonna die
• 9:05
  Oh, oh God. Oh no. Does she know yet?
• 9:09
  Nope. She does not know. I've been very careful not to let this information out.
• 9:14
  It just going to keep it between you and the gruffster You Just between the two of us and her phone 100 Call me on her phone Well yeah she in the room but it would have been She impalat to listen
• 9:27
  I'm sure she did not have raised
• 9:28
  that girl right. I hate never a doubt.
• 9:30
  We've got to go golfing.
• 9:32
  Oh, anytime, my man. We can hit the links
• 9:34
  anytime you want. Only one problem.
• 9:36
  What? They don't allow dogs on the course.
• 9:40
  Alright, see you later. Bye. Okay, bye.
• 9:44
  Here you go, hon.
• 9:46
  What? Stage four lipitis? Why?
• 9:51
  What are you talking about?
• 9:52
  What you mean?
• 9:54
  You're hurting everything.
• 9:56
  How would you know a thing like that?
• 9:57
  I heard it. I heard you tell my dad.
• 10:00
  I have stage four lipitis and I'm going to die.
• 10:03
  You were eavesdropping on a private doctor confidential communication?
• 10:08
  I'm sorry. I couldn't help but overhear.
• 10:10
  And then you guys made golf plans afterwards?
• 10:15
  Your dad's gonna need a friend to see him through this.
• 10:18
  But what do we do? I don't want to die.
• 10:22
  Lipitis sounds...
• 10:24
  Well, since you don't want to die, that's good information to have.
• 10:30
  I could remove the lips.
• 10:33
  But we're talking full removal, which means you'd just be dealing with a straight-up O.
• 10:39
  But I'll be alive?
• 10:41
  But you'll be ugly.
• 10:43
  Oh.
• 10:43
  It's a bad look, and I'm going to be honest.
• 10:46
  We are not there yet with fake lips.
• 10:50
  You have to look in this mirror here.
• 10:52
  Okay.
• 10:53
  You've got to ask yourself, would you rather be ugly or dead?
• 10:58
  Oh.
• 11:02
  Sorry, I'm seeing if I can test out.
• 11:04
  I have such beautiful, full lips.
• 11:06
  They're so full.
• 11:07
  Look at them.
• 11:09
  Wow.
• 11:09
  They're so full of itis, though.
• 11:11
  Oh, yeah, I know.
• 11:12
  Such a shame, because you could ride a Hot Wheel on these things.
• 11:19
  I've made my decision, Doc.
• 11:21
  All right.
• 11:24
  I'd rather be dead.
• 11:26
  Well, then you're just going to have to go home and ride out your last days.
• 11:30
  Maybe take some pictures with duck lips.
• 11:33
  Really use it and abuse it while you can.
• 11:35
  Okay.
• 11:37
  Oh, my phone's ringing.
• 11:39
  Oh.
• 11:39
  What's...
• 11:40
  Oh, it...
• 11:40
  Caller ID says it's my dad.
• 11:42
  You think it's for me?
• 11:43
  It's probably for you.
• 11:44
  All right, I'll just take it.
• 11:47
  It's the gruffer.
• 11:49
  Ah!
• 11:51
  What's going on?
• 11:53
  Oh.
• 11:55
  What if we swapped lives just for a night?
• 11:58
  Yes.
• 12:00
  Yes.
• 12:01
  I knew you'd like that, you old dog.
• 12:03
  Oh.
• 12:07
  She is gonna die.
• 12:10
  Oh.
• 12:11
  She chose death?
• 12:11
  She chose death.
• 12:12
  I told you I raised that girl right.
• 12:14
  And your weekend just opened up.
• 12:16
  Hey!
• 12:19
  Teens.