Latest / Curiously Guided Podcast / Ep.97 | What Does “Let it be Easy” Really Look Like? with Shay & Mariah

Transcript

Ep.97 | What Does “Let it be Easy” Really Look Like? with Shay & Mariah · Curiously Guided Podcast

• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Curiously Guided Podcast.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: We're your hosts, Mariah.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: And Shay.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: Two online business strategists passionate about rewriting the rules to success within both life and business.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_02: This podcast started because we both felt frustrated by the lack of deep, meaningful, and transparent conversations around what it takes to actually run a business that we both feel good about.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_02: So we decided to create that for ourselves.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: We want our solo episodes and guest interviews to be examples of how you two can chase your dreams and go down your own rabbit holes, ultimately leading to a more sustainable and fulfilling life.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_02: We believe that curiosity is our superpower.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_02: And trusting the nudge is a muscle that's meant to be strengthened.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: Especially if we want to create a lifestyle that feels good from the inside out.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: So are you ready to open your mind and let curiosity guide the way?
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: Let's take this journey together.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_02: We're so glad you're here.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_02: Now let's dive in.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, hello, my friends.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome back to the podcast.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_02: Today we've got an episode with just Mariah and I.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_02: And um, you know, the way we choose these episodes is kind of we have a working document where we keep a bunch of ideas of things we want to talk about.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_02: And when Mariah and I meet, we always are having ideas through our conversation and we'll jot down notes and topic ideas.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_02: And this is something that popped up in an interview we did last week.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_02: And timing-wise, this may be different for you guys, but we did with Lisa and you guys will hear her episode.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_02: But if you guys are on Instagram like we are, I'm sure you've heard or TikTok or wherever, if you're listening to business owners, I have heard a lot of stories.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_02: You know, when I say this, think of the person that pops into your head.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_02: But I'm sure you've seen the person that's like, you know what?
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_02: The difference between me making$100 a month to me making a hundred thousand dollars a month, it was because I decided that it got to be easy.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_02: And once I just committed to how easy it got to be, the money just started flowing to me.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: I have said that.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: I have said that before.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: I literally am like, oh my God.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: And it's true.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like I say, move down, and the more that I enjoy life, the more money I make.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: But like, I feel like when you have been trained to not think that way because of all of the examples and how society is built, it is a muscle to remember that that is true because it's just so easy to forget.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I think that you're hitting the nail on the head, but it's a muscle, it's a choice.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_02: You know, our friend shared the other day, like I decided to choose that this was easy, and I've committed to that choice, and then all of a sudden everything got a lot easier.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_02: And I do think that's true, but to be frank with you guys, I don't think it's realistic every day and every moment.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that's hard where my brain goes every time I'm like, I want ease and flow in my life and my business.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_02: I immediately start thinking about all these instances where life has felt really hard.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_02: It did not feel like ease and flow.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_02: And what about those examples?
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_02: That's proof that it can't be easy, right?
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_02: And as I've been thinking about that more, I've kind of realized like it's unrealistic to think that life could be easy at every single moment 24-7.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_02: Like, that's not really what we're talking about here.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_02: And I know that I struggle with kind of absolute thinking of like it's this or it's that.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_02: And I think the the nuance here, as in everything, the the nuance is that whether or not your life is easy or hard, there is no label or award you're gonna win.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_02: Like there's no amount of easiness or hardness where someone's gonna come to you and say that like your life is now easy and your life is now hard.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_02: You get to decide.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_02: It's a choice.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_02: And it's really more of like a balancing act.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_02: Like, is it more ease than hard, or is it more hard than ease?
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_02: And like Mariah said, a lot of times a lot of this stuff really just comes down to your mindset and how you approach things.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_02: Um, things that can feel hard.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_02: We've been talking a lot about lately.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_02: Mariah and I have both experienced a lot of freedom in our bodies and minds through more physical movement, specifically for me, weight training, like getting strength and building my muscle has felt hard in the moment, but it's allowed for so much more ease in the rest of my life, both with mental clarity and just comfort in my body.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_02: So I think there's some kind of like reframe I need to have around like what ease means, what is real ease, and like it's okay to have some hard things just because I have hard things.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_02: I'm in a moment of life right now where like literally my house is falling down, everything is making me mad, I'm about to start my period.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I'm just in a low moment right now, and the hard really has worn me down.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_02: So it's getting harder for me to reconnect with the ease.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm just trying to reflect.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_02: And I think there is something around like a belief and a choice, like this gets to be easy and I'm worthy of ease, even if that doesn't mean that every single moment is easy.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and it's funny because it's like we are literally processing this as we're talking about it.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: We really have no idea where the fuck this conversation's gonna go and like what's gonna come out.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: But I think that that's like the joy of I feel like the episodes of me and you is like, let's just kind of take this apart in real time and like kind of see where we end up.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: But I think like what I'm feeling is I I guess the question is, am I making this harder than it needs to be?
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like that's like a really good distinction because it's like we can talk about working out, which I have had, y'all.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: My posture has been complete trash for 300 years and like my muscles aren't activating properly, and it's causing like shoulder and neck pain and like back.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's like I'm like, am I in the body of like a 95-year-old or am I 32?
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: Because like don't feel 32 in this moment, and it's hard, like, especially I think I love what I do so much, and in the past couple months, I have not been able to sit at a computer for very long because it hurts.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm like, okay, well, then I guess like, but also having to get up and and you hear all the time, every 20 minutes, set your alarm and move your body and change your position.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: No, like when I'm in the zone, I want to stay there and like I am like feeling good and I want to hammer this out and like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: I get really lit up by the work that I do, or like I'll get into a rabbit hole and like I'm not moving, and then having to move.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: Now I'm thinking about something else.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: Now I'm taken out of like the flow that I'm in, and it's annoying to me that they say that, or even like move every hour.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, what do you mean?
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: And like I get mad about it.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: And then it's like, but then I have all these things to do, and like I don't have time to work out, I don't have time to go for a walk, I don't have time to do all of this.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: And my body is screaming so loudly that I'm getting the message of like, bitch, choose your hard.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: What feels hard?
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: You literally not being able to use the computer without your shoulder wanting to fall off of your body, or going to take a 20-minute walk outside, or doing some stretches and like some activations to make sure that you're like, choose which one is harder.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like also, you know how we'll do just like visualizations of like, what do you want?
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: What do you want?
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: And lately, what's been coming up for me is like, I see what do I want that I'm like in cute little workout gear, and I just got home from like a workout class, and I am feeling strong and feeling good, and I'm just like excited to nourish my body and to fuel myself in a way that feels good.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like that feels like, yeah, I want that, and that does not feel like the body that I'm in right now.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: I don't feel strong, I don't feel nourished half the time.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's funny because it's like just hold the feeling, right?
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you're like, just just hold the feeling.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: And so sometimes I feel like, oh, that feels easy.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: I can go into a meditation and lay down and hold the feeling.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: But like that's only phase one.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: Phase two is now with that feeling, are you going to fucking do something about it?
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: And like this is something that I feel like that's been hitting me in the face because it's like we we live in a world that like foundationally is made of energy, right?
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like we can very easily forget about that.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: But I feel like for me, sometimes it's easy to slip into that.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's easy to slip into the energy of things.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: But where I've been lacking is like, are you going to take the action that connects to where you want to go?
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to feel strong in your body, your day-to-day and your routines and the decisions that you are making are actually taking you further away from that.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like I have to be honest with myself of like, what does easy mean for me?
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: And kind of reframing like, am I making this harder for myself by continuing to make decisions that don't align with like where I actually want to go?
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like it's kind of a mind fuck because like half of the time I want to like, I don't know, rebel against what everybody else says.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm just like, no, I don't want to do that, and I don't want to do this, and this is lame.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: But it's like, if I'm getting honest with like what I want and what my body's craving, I have to do the hard thing of like making time and calling myself out on my bullshit.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I am realizing how could it not be true that like A, ease comes through doing the hard thing?
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_02: Your choice, you get to choose what the hard thing is, but like um if I want to be able to carry my groceries up the stairs when I'm an old person with ease, I need to do the hard thing and build my muscles now.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_02: And to your point, I think what you're saying is something that comes up a lot with us of everybody's idea of ease or this future vision life where you're walking around with flow and ease, it can look a little bit different.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_02: And so the problem is um if I just grab Mariah's vision right there, which I kind of want to, that sounds really nice in this moment, but I need to sit with it some more.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_02: I think a lot of us work towards other people's vision.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_02: And the quote that Mariah and I have both been really struck by lately, and we shared in Lisa's episode, is that if you're not clear on the vision, distractions look like opportunities.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_02: So what Mariah is saying is so good of when you are disconnected from that vision of ease, what ease is for your life, you're gonna be just spinning your wheels on all of these little things day to day.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, uh there's a Mariah, I'm just your example is coming to me like a shoulder pain.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_02: There's just like a billion different things you can do to address shoulder pain, starting with lifting weights, but also your nutrition, also getting into karmic records.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_02: You know, there could be like a million things to address shoulder pain.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_02: And I think there's something about we kind of try to just look for all those things and stay busy, and we'll go down rabbit holes and we do all of this stuff.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_02: And if we're not really clear on like the vision and like the steps to get you there, you can just kind of stay busy with like the little day-to-day things that aren't really taking you towards your vision.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_02: And to me, I think that's where life starts to feel hard is I'm just kind of like, I'm doing all this shit, I'm spending my time doing all this shit, and I don't feel like I'm making any meaningful progress towards this ease.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_02: Life is feeling really heavy, life is feeling really hard.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_02: And um, I'm also now realizing that that is never true.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_02: There's also always really a lot of wonderful things going on, and I'm disconnected from gratitude.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_02: So, again, like maybe gratitude is like the practice that would allow me to reconnect to like what ease is here right now.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what am I taking for granted?
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_02: That kind of idea.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's funny that you brought this up because me and Andrew were hanging out with friends this weekend, and um one of them has like really like he is 35, has had back surgery already.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like he's got like degenerative discs, and I have sympathy for him, like it and compassion, like that is tough.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm feeling not to that extent, but like I'm feeling when your body doesn't want to cooperate with you.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: And it's interesting because I noticed myself and what he was saying, and he was like, Well, I think like cold works, like at work.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I'll like take these um these freezer packs and I'll put them in like my belt or whatever, so that it like freezes the muscle and I can like get through work.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: And to me, I'm like, wouldn't you want to strengthen the muscles around like where the issue is so that it takes pressure off of the joints and like strength helps?
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: And like we know that.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: And so then he's like, and so I'm thinking about doing uh chyrotherapy or however the fuck you say it.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, so you like the hard that you're choosing is trying to find somebody outside of you that will do that for you, paying a fuck ton of money for those, and like, yes, I know that that helps with recovery, but it's I'm just like, why do you keep avoiding strengthening the muscles around the issue?
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: And then I'm like, why am I having such an intense thought and reaction and opinion on what he's doing?
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, oh, because that's what I'm doing.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: I'm over here, like, let me schedule a massage, let me do this, I'm gonna go over here and do that.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: I will do anything but the thing that will actually help.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: And like, I only know what's going to help because it's my body, I know it's sitting in the back of my head.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: Bitch, you have to strengthen your muscles.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: And then I've been listening to podcasts and podcasts about like aging gracefully, and like I want to be able to do a squat when I'm 80 years old.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: In order to get there, I have to prime my muscles now.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I see the way that my parents' bodies are falling apart.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, what's easier?
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: Putting everything off, and then, you know, when I'm 65 years old, I'll deal with it?
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: Or is it gonna be easier to take 45 minutes to an hour out of my day to strengthen my muscles now so that easy is like a longevity thing and not an in-the-moment thing?
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: And then it's funny, and I I keep bringing back back to movement because that's just like where kind of my focus is right now.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: But I also, this girl that I follow who does like pelvic floor therapy, uh workouts and stuff like that, she was talking about like, I think she's like 45, 48, and she basically was like, I have to move my body every single day.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: No ifs, ands, or buts about it.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: And she's like, and she works with people, she's a coach for people, and she was like, and so many people are like, I'm exhausted, I can't move my body.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: And she's and they're like, I'm I need to rest.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: We hear that all the time.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: I need to rest.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: That's where I was.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'm exhausted, I'm working all day, I need to rest.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: Here's the thing I don't do a physically demanding job.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: My brain needs a rest, but my body actually needs action.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: So, like me sitting on the couch is not doing my body any favors.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: I was already not moving all day long.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: And she was like, and so many people think, and I'm I'm saying this, and I'm not saying that this is the same for your situation or other people's situation.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's what I'm noticing with it myself, where it was like, that's what I was doing.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, Well, I'm exhausted, I worked all day.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: Girl, you did not move all day.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: You need to move.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: Give your mind a break, but give your body something to do here.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: And that's kind of what she was saying.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: She was like, so many of my clients just want to like collapse on the couch.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: And she's like, But actually, what you need is to be able to move these muscles.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: We need more movement.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: We don't need more, like just laying there all the time, especially when I've been completely sedentary for eight hours already.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: And so I feel like I'm just noticing this literally like slapping me in the face, like every turn that I get.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, as you're talking, I'm realizing, you know, how often do we hear the advice of like, you're overwhelmed and take a rest, you know, and take you need to take a rest.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_02: But really, I've certainly noticed that too when my I have a lot of issues with my hip or um a shoulder issue.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_02: Like if I'm having a lot of pain, my initial reaction is like, I need to go rest, I need to go lay on a heating pad, I need more rest.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_02: But honestly, what and that does provide temporary immediate relief, but actually, what has given me kind of longer lasting pain-free relief is building, like you're saying, like addressing the root cause of the problem, building the muscles that support the whole system that takes the pressure off the one part that feels like it's been overworked.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_02: And and I started to notice every time I worked out, I felt immediate relief and it was very long-lasting, and it just kept getting better and better.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_02: And so it's kind of interesting how, like, I don't know if that's the like lizard part of the brain that will immediately seek like the immediate comfort solution.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_02: And that is ease in the moment, but it's not, there's like almost this difference between like immediate ease versus like root issue long-term ease.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_02: And then I'm even thinking about these people that'll talk about their business and they'll say, um, I just decided it got to be easy.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_02: And it's almost like a little misleading because think about all business owners, they work really hard.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_02: They go through a hard phase and it's it's it's a lot of work at the beginning, and you got to learn all these things.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_02: And then it does get to be easy because you put in all those deposits, because you did the work.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_02: And I do think there's something to be said of like in the moment, you can tell yourself, this isn't hard really.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_02: This is fun, what a joy, what a gift I get to be doing all of these things.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_02: But it is a lot of work.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_02: And so it's kind of almost just like how we look at it and how we frame it.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_02: But I do think there's like that, you know, there's that study about like the marshmallows with the children, right?
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_02: Like some children will they'll put marshmallows in front of them and say, You can eat this now, but if you don't eat it now, I'll give you another one.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_02: And so you could have two later if you just waited.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_02: If you just did the hard thing now, you can have more ease later.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_02: And I always think about that.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_02: And there's something about kind of like choosing your hard.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_02: This could be hard in the sense that like you're in physical pain all day long at work for eight hours.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_02: Or it could be hard in the sense that you have to go to the gym, wake up an extra hour early every day and focus on building your back muscles, but then you don't have to feel in pain all day.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_02: And you kind of get to choose.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_02: There's always that choice in there.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_02: But I think there's something for me I'm realizing around like the hard that I do choose.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_02: How could I really embrace it?
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_02: And how could I really have some gratitude for it?
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I have to call carpenters today to fuck fix this fucking hole in my roof for the millionth time.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_02: What a beautiful thing, right?
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_02: That is giving me the ease of I have a safe home to live in that doesn't have squirrels living in the attic.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_02: So it's like, I'm thinking about all the things that I woke up angry about this morning and trying to flip it of like, how is this hard right now allowing me more ease in some way in the future?
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_00: And also it's like, what a gift that you don't have to fix your fucking roof yourself.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_01: I want a gift that I have the go, I have the Google.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_02: I can bring up my computer, I can type in Carpenter.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_02: I have a Facebook group of neighbors that can give me recommendations of trustworthy people.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what a time to be alive.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_02: It's more easy now to do these hard things than it ever has been.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I think there's something here about instant gratification too, because it's like, I notice, you know, when I pack my weekends full of shit, now I don't set myself up for ease through the week.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't go grocery shopping, I don't have meals planned, I didn't, you know what I mean?
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's like it keeps coming back to nutrition and like exercise essentially.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_00: But like you could even say the same thing for business.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like if you have an email funnel or something like that, and like you're not getting conversions, you could throw money at it and you could do Facebook ads just to get more eyeballs on it.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, great.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: But you could also fine-tune your email sequence and your sales sequence so that your conversions go up, your messaging is on point, like your positioning is good, so that it becomes easy.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_00: You make your solutions an easy yes for the people that need them, but going through and fine-tuning that is hard.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's fucking annoying.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_00: And so I feel like what's coming through in my brain is like the hard stuff when it relates to foundations is crucial.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_00: We have to prioritize the foundations.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that it's like it's hard because there's foundations in everything, right?
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_00: Foundations of movement and muscles and nutrition, foundations of business.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know your target audience?
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that as business owners, we hear that all the fucking time.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_00: Who are you selling to?
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: And you're just like, everybody, and it's like, nobody.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like you have to do the hard work of like testing and tweaking, experimenting, having conversations, being honest, what worked, what didn't, and keep coming back to what problem are you solving and who are you solving it for?
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_00: 10 years in business.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_00: I still have to keep coming back to that because that is the foundation of everything.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like it just reminds me of my body, I have avoided.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Core workouts for seven years because they are hard and awful and I hate them.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_00: And now what's the weakest part of my body that is making everything fall apart?
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_00: The core of everything.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like it's hard, but like, can we keep coming back to the foundations?
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like that's that's ease.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_00: Things get to be easy when you prioritize the foundations.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_02: I just wrote in all caps in our document, how are you setting yourself up for ease?
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that is the question I need to ask myself when I am feeling like I'm drowning in the hard.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_02: And Lisa shared such a good example of this.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_02: We and um the episode I mentioned earlier that we shot earlier this week, she told us that she doesn't get started with work until about like 10 or 11 every day.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_02: And she spends her whole morning um exercising, spending meaningful time with her husband, cooking for herself, making a green juice, journaling, whatever it is.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_02: And she said, I know I need that time to set myself up for the rest of the day, to have an easy rest of the day.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_02: And so, like you're saying, you can think about that on a week's basis too.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_02: How are you setting yourself up in the week with your meal prep and you know, your schedule and whatever you need to do to have ease and flow?
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_02: There's some intention.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_02: That doesn't just happen.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_02: I think we kind of just expect, like, I changed my mind, my life's easy, and it's just gonna happen.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_02: And I think there's like a missing step there of like, no, bitch, you got to set it up.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_02: What are you doing to set yourself up for ease?
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_02: You know, um, I I I'm thinking about I am starting a new consulting job in sales, and I really like feel like I need to knock on wood right now.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_02: But like it's there's some of the easiest deals, some of the easiest work I've ever had because of all of the foundational work that this company has put into exactly what Mariah is saying.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_02: They are on this mostly like a personality brand.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_02: So, this the man that runs the company, he is on social media.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_02: He has a loyal community of people that are following him daily.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_02: They love his story, they're following along.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_02: His main business isn't even the thing that I am selling, but he gets constant leads of people for this side business because everyone just loves him so much.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_02: And they are so the business is clear on who they serve, how they serve, how they show up, the voice is clear, their reputation is immaculate.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_02: And they've put in all of this work to build um rapport with their people and make those deposits in their audience.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_02: And so when people get to me and they're ready to work with them, it's like slam dunks, you know.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like I'm just they're spiking the ball up for me.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, or setting the ball in volleyball, and I get to come and spike it down.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_02: But like when you do all of the hard stuff, the foundational work that you know you should be doing, knowing your audience, creating things that serve them, and kind of checking in with that constantly and improving, that makes everything else so fucking easy.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_02: And I know that I have seen the other side of this.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_02: I have seen the side where it's we're not doing anything online, we're not connecting with an audience, we just have like a brochure website up, we're just trying to um attach to some kind of trend, keyword trends that are going on.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_02: When you don't have that kind of like strong foundation with your people set up, my job is a million times worse because I'm immediately coming in being seen as a scammer instead of a friend.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_02: So, like, that's just like one example from my world.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_02: But I think this idea of intentionally being really mindful and intentional about where you're choosing your hard with this idea of instant gratification in mind versus long-term gain.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_02: Make choose your hard.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_02: Whatever you choose to be your hard, is it gonna be the thing that gets you closer to your vision?
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_02: Is it gonna be that longer-term payoff, that thing that really gives you that like long-lasting dopamine as opposed to just like the quick hit right now?
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's funny because I'm thinking about my YouTube channel.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like I shared on threads and it got like quite a lot of eyeballs compared to other posts that I've made.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_00: But like I share how much YouTube ads pays me every month.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I think last month I made$750 one month from two videos.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_00: I post two videos a month,$750 just from YouTube ads.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_00: That's wild.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_00: And so people are like, oh my god, that's incredible.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't share it to be like, oh my god, look at me.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_00: I share it because like YouTube pays me to market my business.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_00: But here's the thing: I choose my hard.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_00: YouTube is hard.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_00: I have had my channels since 2017.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_00: I have burnt out.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_00: I stopped doing them.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_00: I came back, I had to test and tweak and experiment.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_00: I had to post videos when nobody was watching.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_00: I had to post videos when I was making no fucking money.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_00: I had to post videos when I didn't have time.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_00: I had to post videos when I didn't even know what to post.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_00: I had to post videos when literally I would watch this video back and cringe.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_00: I had to keep doing it.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like that was hard.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's hard to put so much time into creating something and getting no results right away.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_00: But I had to put in that time.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_00: And even now, like in business, business does feel easier now because I I strengthen the muscle of being able to figure things out and like I remind myself that like even if X, Y, and Z goes to shit, like I can still make money.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_00: But like it's because I choose my heart.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_00: I would rather work for myself and dig down and figure it the fuck out than work for somebody else.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: And that's not the same heart as a lot of people.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_00: I talked to my brother, he is in IT, and so he is like incredible when it comes to like servers and building computers.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_00: This dude can build a computer from scratch and it fucking blows my mind.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_00: But like I've told him, I'm like, you do know that like you can do this on your own.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_00: People will pay big fucking money for YouTube.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_00: He handles email servers for massive companies.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, you can do this, people will pay good money.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_00: And he's just like, I don't, that feels hard.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want that.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_00: I would rather have the hard of having a nine to five.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_00: And he goes, but I've found a nine to five where I can work from home remote a couple days a week.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_00: And he was like, But I get health insurance, I get bonuses, I get this, I get that.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_00: And he was like, that is the hard that I would rather have not having flexibility in my schedule than choosing the heart of marketing and trying to find my own clients.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's like, it's so funny because me and my brother are like similar, but like complete opposites.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_00: We have similar kind of like personalities where we always think that we're right, which is really fun in conversations.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_00: But like I know the internet, he knows the actual like uh like the building hardware of computers.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_00: And like I hopefully, God willing, will never not own my own business.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_00: He never wants to own his own business, like no fucking thank you.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_00: And so I feel like there's also something that comes down to like, are you being honest with yourself?
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_00: Because anything that's not aligned for you will feel hard.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_02: Are things feeling hard because you're chasing somebody else's vision?
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, or are they feeling hard because you're expecting them to feel easy?
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's the thing too.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_00: I run my own business, but like it doesn't mean that it's like easy.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_00: So I feel like there's just like so many different layers of this that like our our minds can kind of get caught up in.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's like you ex when you decide, oh, it gets to be easy, you're there's an expectation there that it's easy.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_02: And so when the first hard thing comes, you're like, well, that can't be possible for me.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and I think there's one other idea here that I wanted to bring up that you and I talked about last time when we mentioned this is who are you surrounding yourself with?
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_02: Um, what voices are you surrounding yourself with?
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_02: If you're anything like Mariah and I, I would say that most of the people in my real life have a belief that life is hard.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_02: They bel they do not believe that life gets to be easy for us.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, there may be like moments of joy, and but it's it's it's hard.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_02: And life is a burden.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_02: And when you're surrounded by people that don't think that life gets to be easy or that you can have an easy life, they don't think that it's possible.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_02: It can be really easy to pick up that narrative.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_02: I would say that's probably the dominating narrative around all of us.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_02: So when we have a lovely friend like Kaylee, who's the one that shared about this being easy and kind of inspired the episode, it's she is like a blessing in my life.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_02: We talked about those.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_02: I know that there's a group that calls those expanders, but there's something here about being aware of um the beliefs that you're surrounding yourself with.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_02: And are you surrounding yourself with people who have beliefs that you want to have?
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_02: So the fact that Kaylee's in my life and has this belief that I would like to have and I see her having it, that tells me that it's possible.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_02: And that gives me the hope and the encouragement I need to go for it and believe it for myself.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_02: And that's an expander.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_02: And I want to surround myself and be really intentional and mindful that I am bringing on the narrative from expanders in my life, and I am like shutting the door to narrative for people that what's the opposite of an expander or a shrinker?
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_02: Like I really have been noticing lately like stories, even like I'll be on social media and someone will say shit and then it'll pop up in my head later.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_02: And I don't like that.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_02: I need to be more aware of like whose narrative I'm letting in because I'm really influenced by that.
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_02: So there's something here about making sure that you are.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not telling you to cut off people in your life who are all going to be surrounded by people that shrink us in some ways and expand us in others, like everyone's got their value in different elements.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_02: But there's something here about like being very mindful with what you're taking in and making sure that you're taking in energy from expanders and ideas from expanders.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_02: Because of course, if you decide your life gets to be easy, that's what it is.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_02: You get to decide.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_02: That's the awesome part about this life.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_02: And if you're around other people who believe that for themselves and are emulating that and showing you how to choose hard mindfully in the way that will give you long-term ease, I think that's really, really key.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_02: Because if you're staying with people who keep pulling you down, it's hard.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_02: It's really hard to get up in that energy of like, I'm worthy of this, I can have this, and this is what that looks like.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's funny, I don't know why.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like when you said shrinkers, I'm like just a bunch of like shrimp, shrink, shrimp.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_00: Now they're shrimp.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_00: They went from shrinkers to shrimp.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just like shrimp rapos.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't know if I need any more like fucking shrimp wrapos.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_00: Shrimp?
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, now they're shrimp.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_00: Now that's just what they are.
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, yes, yes, it is in the expanders.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_00: I think the language comes from the group uh to be magnetic.
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_00: So like TBM, Lacey Phillips talks a lot about expanders.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that it's so important, regardless of kind of like where you are.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_00: And we've heard this over and over again.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like you are an average of the five people that you surround yourself with, or like whatever the fuck that thing is.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_00: And like I think that we forget about that because it's it's tough, right?
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like, oh God, life is so paradoxical.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like, we're meant to be independent, but we're meant to be in community.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_00: We're meant to do the inner work, but then we have to show up and do the outer work.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_00: And like, there is such a balance of things.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_00: And like, I don't always want to do the hard thing.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_00: I sometimes want to do the easy thing.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes the easy thing is actually more nourishing than the hard thing because when you keep doing the hard thing, then it's like your nervous system is on fucking burnout, overdrive, whatever.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's crazy because it's like I find myself, regardless of what I'm saying, I'm like, well, I just contradicted what I said like an hour ago.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_00: And but I do think that it does so much if it comes down to mindset, and I feel like that's the toughest fucking thing because we're consistently seeing like what you were saying, we're consistently seeing examples that like what we believe is true, like isn't possible.
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_00: And like it's so important to continuously come back to yourself over and over and over again and develop this routine and this habit.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that we say it, and like it's easy to forget too, because like time by yourself is also one of the first things that goes to the fucking wayside when like you are busy, you are in a busy season.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_00: The foundations are are the first thing that can get ignored when you got to put out all of these fucking fires.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I think like when you oscillate, you can be in a season when you're oscillating in like one way more often.
• 35:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that that's fine.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_00: But then I think that the real skill is being able to notice when you're too far over here for too long.
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_00: And can I give myself the grace to go in the opposite direction to be able to balance it out?
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that like that's where expanders can really come into play too, because like Jordan Gill, for example, we've had her on the podcast.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_00: She's like a huge expander for me.
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_00: I just had a call with her last week.
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, I'm doing like a market research project for a client of mine.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_00: And so Jordan was like the perfect example.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_00: Me and Jordan are like kicking it on the call, and I'm asking her these questions, and I'm just like continuously blown away by how fucking easy she lets her business be.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_00: And like something for me, like websites are like the thing that like my brain goes to.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_00: Even in Nick's episode earlier this season, I was like, wait, you can just like have a product that you're gonna sell on Amazon without creating a fucking website.
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like when I think of business, I think of like the foundation of business is a website.
• 36:17
  SPEAKER_00: And so then it's like, if I want to sell something, I obviously need a sales page.
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_00: And then like Jordan just nonchalantly was like, Yeah, girl, I've spent like way too much time putting money into branding and putting money into like building a website and like building all this stuff for something that I didn't even know if people wanted.
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_00: She goes, So I just like create Google Docs and like sell from Google Docs.
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_00: And then like if I want to keep selling things, like I'll come back and you know, then put money into branding this thing.
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, fuck, I am making this so much harder on myself because I'm like, oh, I don't want to launch this program or I don't want to do this thing because like the idea of having to create a page on my website and having to do this just to test it feels so hard.
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, what a beautiful example.
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_00: Because she shared her experience with me and how she's letting it be easy.
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_00: She had no idea like how much that that truly inspired me to allow me to also let it be easy.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_00: Because I feel like if we just sit in this hamster wheel in our brain, our brain is fantastic at coming up with problems.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_00: We have to be even better at like pulling back and seeing the problem from a different lens.
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like that's another way to let it be easy.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_00: It comes back to what we talked about like when we first started hitting record, where it's like, am I making this harder than it needs to be?
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_00: But it's hard to notice where you're making it harder and where you're trying to do it right or be detail-oriented.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_00: But like, it's hard to see how you're making this harder on yourself when you don't have anything to reflect back to you how it could be easier.
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's why those expanders are so important to show you what's possible and help you think outside the box.
• 37:58
  SPEAKER_02: I have so many examples that popped up in my head.
• 38:01
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I've shared with you guys before, you know, my side hustle is um I I like flipping things on eBay and I am constantly getting the feedback.
• 38:09
  SPEAKER_02: Please share this, please share this on social media.
• 38:11
  SPEAKER_02: I want to hear more.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_02: I should make YouTube videos.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_02: And I want to do that.
• 38:15
  SPEAKER_02: And here's what I'm doing.
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_02: I have this huge list of like, I've got to figure out my perfect schedule and like I've got to have these content pillars and I've got to figure out the SEO titles.
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm literally not taking action because I am trying to make it perfect.
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_02: I think there's a little bit of perfectionist coming out here as I'm I like that distinction you made of like, is this perfectionism or is this me trying to give I want people to get quality work for me, right?
• 38:41
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want to be like shisting people.
• 38:43
  SPEAKER_02: So like um I I think there is consideration there, but I do think for me at least it falls in this land of like I'm trying to make things too perfect.
• 38:53
  SPEAKER_02: I'm afraid of being seen imperfectly, and so I'm sitting here stuck in idea land and trying to control land and I'm not taking action.
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_02: And so the question that popped up for me is as I'm thinking about hard this YouTube channel for me right now, starting it feels hard.
• 39:11
  SPEAKER_02: What would it look like?
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_02: I think ask yourself the question, what would this look like if it were easy?
• 39:16
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what would just be like the easiest thing I could do?
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I could just literally film myself packing up boxes and like talking about what I sold that week.
• 39:26
  SPEAKER_02: And that could be the first video.
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_02: Like it I wouldn't have to edit it at all.
• 39:29
  SPEAKER_02: Like I could just throw it up and it could be really imperfect, but at least it's something.
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_02: And then I can obviously tweak and refine over time.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_02: That's the beauty of all of this.
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm just realizing that like for myself, the way that this shows up is I will stay stuck in this like kind of perfectionist mode of like need telling myself I need to have all of these details ironed out before I can take action.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_02: And then it starts to feel very hard.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_02: No wonder I'm not taking any action and getting any results.
• 39:55
  SPEAKER_02: So I think there's this whatever you're wound up with right now, try to take a moment to ask yourself, what A, what are my beliefs around this?
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_02: Do I believe that it has to be difficult or do I believe that there could be some ease here?
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_02: There always can be some ease.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_02: Spoiler alert.
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_02: Two, what would it look like if it were easy?
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_02: Like just give yourself a moment, bring a friend in, have a brainstorming session.
• 40:18
  SPEAKER_02: What would ease look like?
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_02: What would that look like?
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_02: Because we are all overcomplicating things all the time.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_02: Like I really think there's something cool about just being able to be like, here's the easiest version.
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_02: Let me throw it onto the world and see what happens.
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's so funny because I didn't realize it's uh there it comes back to IFS, internal family systems.
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_00: There's parts of me that feel totally cool throwing shit at the wall, see what's gonna happen.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_00: There's also parts of me where that feels fucking awful.
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_00: It depends on the mood that I'm in.
• 40:49
  SPEAKER_00: It depends on who who is this affecting.
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_00: I think it also can depend on that.
• 40:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's harder to throw shit at the wall when it's like online visibility.
• 41:03
  SPEAKER_00: The entire internet can see you fail.
• 41:05
  SPEAKER_00: I do think that there is something with like tweak and refine.
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_00: That's really, really powerful.
• 41:11
  SPEAKER_00: But like, I also like like what you were saying, bring in a friend.
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't realize how hard I make things until Andrew started reflecting back.
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_00: We literally, like, we have nothing to do next weekend.
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, we could do this and we could do that.
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_00: He was like, Why do you do this?
• 41:29
  SPEAKER_00: Just have a weekend.
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_00: He goes, You complain that you have too much on your plate.
• 41:38
  SPEAKER_00: And as soon as things get taken off of your plate, you think of 45 other things that you can add on to your plate.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_00: Why do you do this?
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_00: You create new businesses in your head every week, even though you don't want to do more things.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_00: Why do you do this?
• 41:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, why do I do this?
• 41:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why do I feel like I always have to do it?
• 42:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like, how can I just let it be easy?
• 42:03
  SPEAKER_00: And he's been really, really helpful in terms of like being able to reflect that back to me.
• 42:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it's so easy for me to see possibilities and so many things, and then I get lit up about it.
• 42:13
  SPEAKER_00: And especially when you understand the internet, you're just like, oh my god, there are so many different ways to do these things.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_00: But like I overcomplicate things so much, even like the workouts, it's it's crazy.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's literally like, well, if I don't have 45 minutes, what's what the fuck is the point?
• 42:35
  SPEAKER_00: Girl, build the foundation, build the habit.
• 42:38
  SPEAKER_00: Even if you just like we ended up making an extra room in the house, like a workout room, just go stand in there for five minutes and see what you end up like wanting to do.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't have to be that fucking difficult.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_00: But in my brain, I'm just like making it way more difficult.
• 42:54
  SPEAKER_00: And it's we do it to ourselves.
• 42:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so I I ended up meditating last week and I was like, yeah, why am I in this season?
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_00: Because I I do go through seasons of like, wow, things feel so easy.
• 43:07
  SPEAKER_00: What a fucking blessing.
• 43:09
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, this is like the easiest time of my life, what a gift.
• 43:13
  SPEAKER_00: And then I go through things, and like the other day I was like, why does my life feel so fucking hard right now?
• 43:18
  SPEAKER_00: So then I'm meditating and I go, why do I think that life has to be hard?
• 43:22
  SPEAKER_00: Because even when it's even when it's easy, I try to make it hard.
• 43:25
  SPEAKER_00: So like, why?
• 43:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm thinking about, you know, like the first example that I had, my parents.
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_00: My dad worked his fucking ass off.
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_00: He was always working 70 hours a week.
• 43:36
  SPEAKER_00: My mom had four jobs after I ended up going to school.
• 43:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, yeah, of course.
• 43:41
  SPEAKER_00: And then I remember my mom saying all the time, like, oh God, it's always something.
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's always something.
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_00: Something always happens, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
• 43:50
  SPEAKER_00: Something's always happening.
• 43:51
  SPEAKER_00: I found myself the other day looking outside, and I had to like, uh, my landlord was getting his mail delivered here for a while when he was renovating.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_00: The house.
• 44:01
  SPEAKER_00: And he has just last week ended up changing the mail over to the house that he's actually living in now.
• 44:09
  SPEAKER_00: And in my head, I was like, I have to text him again to tell him that more mail is here for him.
• 44:16
  SPEAKER_00: I go, why is it always something?
• 44:20
  SPEAKER_00: What?
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I that was such a big clue to me.
• 44:23
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, why is it always something?
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_00: I don't even think that.
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_00: Number two, why do I feel so burnt out that I feel like texting somebody to let them know that their mail is the thing that their mail is here is sending me over the edge?
• 44:37
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I'm fucking rocked from something.
• 44:40
  SPEAKER_00: Number three, or is this a sign of a boundary?
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_00: Do I need to lay a boundary?
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, I'm going to put your mail in the back of the mailbot.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm not going to text you every single time that it comes in.
• 44:51
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to put it here, get it or don't.
• 44:54
  SPEAKER_00: Or it's like, why do I feel like I need to let him know right away?
• 44:57
  SPEAKER_00: Doesn't some of this responsibility fall on him?
• 45:00
  SPEAKER_00: Isn't his responsibility to like follow up and see if mail came?
• 45:04
  SPEAKER_00: Why do I feel like I have to do X, Y, and Z in order to meet his needs?
• 45:09
  SPEAKER_00: So I feel like there's like so many different ways that you could look at this one situation.
• 45:16
  SPEAKER_02: That's a really good example.
• 45:18
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I we had a note in here about, and we kind of touched on this earlier, but be aware of the voices in your head, the narrative that's going on, and where those are coming from.
• 45:29
  SPEAKER_02: There's a lot, I think, in our culture, and I'm not saying this to like throw shade on your TV choices, but like if you're watching a lot of like reality TV and dramas, I'll just say that like it's a lot of bitching, it's a lot of complaining, it's a lot of finding big dramas and a lot of little things.
• 45:49
  SPEAKER_02: I think since we as humans are not in the Serengeti getting chased by cheetahs or like whatever, like we're we live relatively comfortable lives.
• 45:58
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that the brain likes to complicate things, and the brain is always scanning for problems that can be a natural state.
• 46:05
  SPEAKER_02: And I think since we don't have a lot of huge big problems, I had this friend, I always think of this example.
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_02: She got she ordered jeans online and they sent her the wrong size, and like literally her whole week was derailed.
• 46:19
  SPEAKER_02: She just like had a mental breakdown, a minty bee.
• 46:23
  SPEAKER_02: Like she just was so much drama, blah, blah, blah.
• 46:25
  SPEAKER_02: And it's like, really?
• 46:27
  SPEAKER_02: Really?
• 46:28
  SPEAKER_02: It kind of gets back to that little speck of dust idea.
• 46:30
  SPEAKER_02: Like, we are just a little speck of dust floating around in this big old universe.
• 46:34
  SPEAKER_02: Like, are you holding this stuff too heavy?
• 46:37
  SPEAKER_02: Are you watching drama shows all night long and reality TV and people get in fights with their friends, and then you're starting to pick fights with your friends, or you're making mountains out of molehills?
• 46:47
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I think a lot of hard is made up in our brains.
• 46:51
  SPEAKER_02: I think there's a bit of like intellectual gratification our brains get by, oh, let me take this issue and let me examine all the sides and let me do this and let me think about all their motivations and this situation and all the things I could say to them.
• 47:04
  SPEAKER_02: Like our my brain at least loves to stay there.
• 47:07
  SPEAKER_02: And my brain does not get very stimulated by the simple solution.
• 47:11
  SPEAKER_02: The whole theme of this season has been like all of these hard things are very much solved by very easy solutions.
• 47:19
  SPEAKER_02: Very simple, straightforward things.
• 47:21
  SPEAKER_02: Go out in nature, take a few breaths, spend some time with yourself, journal, you know, very easy things.
• 47:28
  SPEAKER_02: But my brain doesn't want to accept that.
• 47:30
  SPEAKER_02: My brain's like, oh, there's no smartness needed here.
• 47:34
  SPEAKER_02: I can't sit here and ruminate about these things.
• 47:36
  SPEAKER_02: I want to go analyze every possibility of this situation as opposed to like sitting down and doing my morning pages, which is what I fucking know will get me there, right?
• 47:45
  SPEAKER_02: So I think there's a bit of just like calling yourself out on your bullshit and don't like grace to yourself, but like be aware of your inputs.
• 47:54
  SPEAKER_02: Are you surrounded by a lot of drama?
• 47:56
  SPEAKER_02: Are you surrounded by a lot of people who are complaining all the time, who are it's always when it rains, it pours the other shoe, you know.
• 48:02
  SPEAKER_02: Like I have a lot of those stories.
• 48:04
  SPEAKER_02: And I think it's cool that you can kind of detach enough to realize, like, hey, this story didn't even come from me.
• 48:10
  SPEAKER_02: I don't even believe this.
• 48:11
  SPEAKER_02: This is just a narrative that somebody in my life had, and I picked it up.
• 48:14
  SPEAKER_02: And so I don't mean to like be condescending, but I think there is a bit of like our brains like drama in and are you surrounding yourself with a lot of drama to where you think that's normal, and so your brain is constantly seeking that and making things harder.
• 48:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think that that definitely can play a role.
• 48:35
  SPEAKER_00: And like, here's the thing I go through seasons where like I fucking love reality TV.
• 48:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's like junk food for my brain, and I'm like, I am loving this so much, and then I go through seasons where I'm like, if I hear one more person bitching about the dumbest fucking shit, I'm going to light this TV on fire.
• 48:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like it's about noticing where you're at.
• 49:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 49:03
  SPEAKER_00: The same uh what's uh the same water that what what the fuck is it?
• 49:09
  SPEAKER_00: The same water that like boils a noodle softens a potato or like something.
• 49:15
  SPEAKER_00: There, there's something like that.
• 49:16
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know what I'm talking about?
• 49:17
  SPEAKER_02: That sounds like a very Polish thing.
• 49:18
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know that much.
• 49:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm missing it.
• 49:21
  SPEAKER_00: That's not it.
• 49:22
  SPEAKER_00: The same, the same water that like boils something softens something, essentially.
• 49:29
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's like something can be your poison and something can be your medicine, essentially, is like what that means.
• 49:38
  SPEAKER_00: And like reality TV can be very nourishing sometimes, and then reality TV can be the worst thing on the face of the planet sometimes.
• 49:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like the question that I just want to ask now is like, are you being a shrimp or not?
• 49:53
  SPEAKER_02: I have a shrimp in our notes too.
• 49:54
  SPEAKER_01: I like that.
• 49:55
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's like how many shrimps I got in my life right now.
• 49:58
  SPEAKER_01: Am I being a shrimp about this?
• 50:00
  SPEAKER_00: Am I being a shrimp, dude?
• 50:02
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the thing, here's the thing.
• 50:04
  SPEAKER_00: I think that there's also something where it's like, can you accept when you're being a shrimp?
• 50:08
  SPEAKER_00: And you're just like, if I'm a shrimp, I'm gonna get some cocktail sauce too.
• 50:11
  SPEAKER_00: Cause like I know that I'm being a shrimp right now.
• 50:13
  SPEAKER_02: And so sometimes I'm gonna be a shrimp today.
• 50:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna be a shrimp.
• 50:17
  SPEAKER_00: You know what?
• 50:17
  SPEAKER_00: No, not today.
• 50:19
  SPEAKER_00: Right now, in this moment.
• 50:21
  SPEAKER_00: I do think that like we get into this where it's like, oh, the day's done.
• 50:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's over with.
• 50:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, do you know how many things can change in an instant?
• 50:29
  SPEAKER_00: You can allow yourself to be a shrimp right now.
• 50:32
  SPEAKER_00: Does that mean that you get to be a shrimp all day?
• 50:36
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know, but it's gonna have to depend.
• 50:38
  SPEAKER_00: But it's like usually it's really helpful.
• 50:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'll have Andrew, I'm like, yo, I just need to vent about something.
• 50:43
  SPEAKER_00: And just releasing it can help me be less shrimpy.
• 50:47
  SPEAKER_00: Or it's just like, hey, can you provide how am I making this more difficult?
• 50:51
  SPEAKER_00: Because I feel like I'm making it pretty fucking difficult.
• 50:54
  SPEAKER_00: And he'll say it too.
• 50:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's like the other day, like two weeks ago, I was like, I need to start building more time for working out in my schedule.
• 51:06
  SPEAKER_00: And he was like, I've been thinking about that myself.
• 51:09
  SPEAKER_00: And he was like, Let's talk about it.
• 51:11
  SPEAKER_00: We started brainstorming.
• 51:12
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, well, I don't want to do it in this time because of this, so I don't want to do it here because of that.
• 51:16
  SPEAKER_00: And it felt so good.
• 51:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like we weren't trying to give solutions to each other.
• 51:20
  SPEAKER_00: We were kind of just like word vomiting different scenarios and then trying to notice what felt good for us.
• 51:28
  SPEAKER_00: And then I was like, you know what feels really good when I sign up for an easy, like when I sign up for a morning workout.
• 51:34
  SPEAKER_00: That feels easier to me.
• 51:36
  SPEAKER_00: If I sign up, I have a gym, like a group class workout gym thing, like Pilates bar, all of that.
• 51:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's like 10 minutes away from my house.
• 51:47
  SPEAKER_00: I went to a class this morning, 7 a.m.
• 51:50
  SPEAKER_00: is when it started.
• 51:52
  SPEAKER_00: In that moment, my alarm goes off at six.
• 51:54
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, it feels fucking hard to wake up.
• 51:57
  SPEAKER_00: Holy shit, does it feel hard?
• 51:59
  SPEAKER_00: But I get up, I go to the class because you know what?
• 52:02
  SPEAKER_00: If I don't go to the class, they're gonna charge me$10 for not showing up.
• 52:06
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm like, I can't just give them a free$10.
• 52:08
  SPEAKER_00: What the fuck?
• 52:09
  SPEAKER_00: So I show up after I feel like a million dollars, not a shrimp.
• 52:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm the I'm a fucking shark.
• 52:16
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I am.
• 52:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not a shrimp, I'm a shark.
• 52:18
  SPEAKER_00: So I come home, I'm like, dude, how easy the rest of my day?
• 52:21
  SPEAKER_00: What a gift.
• 52:22
  SPEAKER_00: What a gift.
• 52:23
  SPEAKER_00: I now don't have to squeeze this in.
• 52:24
  SPEAKER_00: But here's the thing: I also don't want to have to do a 7 a.m.
• 52:29
  SPEAKER_00: workout every single day.
• 52:31
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to have to set my alarm and do that every single day.
• 52:34
  SPEAKER_00: It feels easy for me to be able to flow within my week.
• 52:37
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe it's three days a week I do that.
• 52:39
  SPEAKER_00: Then the other days I do have the luxury of not having to wake up at certain times because my calls are later, usually.
• 52:46
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's like, okay, for those days, can I fit in moving my body maybe after dinner?
• 52:51
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe that feels good.
• 52:52
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm noticing that like I need discipline, but discipline gets to look different.
• 52:58
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have to have the same flavor of discipline in order to meet the needs of having a stable foundation.
• 53:07
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's like you need, you know, you need the structure, but that structure can look different based on the day.
• 53:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 53:14
  SPEAKER_02: Um, there's one other idea here I wanted to kind of close on, and we've touched on it a bit, but as you start to share, once Mariah and I started to share a little bit more of like this feels easy, um some feelings I noticed that popped up were kind of like, oh, I'm being showboaty.
• 53:33
  SPEAKER_02: I'm bragging.
• 53:34
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, it's almost hard for me.
• 53:36
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I have set up a wonderful lifestyle for myself and I have worked very hard to get here.
• 53:42
  SPEAKER_02: And I don't talk about it very much.
• 53:44
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I don't talk about how I get to have slow mornings every morning.
• 53:47
  SPEAKER_02: I don't have to worry about an alarm, how I only work with people I like in my home on my schedule.
• 53:52
  SPEAKER_02: Like that was all very intentional, and that was the ease that I had in my vision, and we've gotten there.
• 53:57
  SPEAKER_02: But I find myself when I go to talk about it, how many hours I work a week, people in my life get kind of salty and it doesn't feel like it's received very well.
• 54:07
  SPEAKER_02: And I feel like I'm bragging and showboating.
• 54:10
  SPEAKER_02: And so um, even like earlier today, Mariah, I think when you were shared with me about like the Pilates class, you're just like, but you you kind of want to pull it back right away if the other person didn't get up and do.
• 54:20
  SPEAKER_02: I kind of came on the call salty and you were like on one, and you don't you don't want to make someone else feel bad.
• 54:25
  SPEAKER_02: And I get that.
• 54:26
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that idea of like, I don't want to brag, I don't want to be kind of like sticking my head out from the rest of the crowd is not serving me because I'm losing all of those wonderful confidence-building examples of times where I put a deposit in the bank and thought really good, but it's also not serving my community, the people around me.
• 54:47
  SPEAKER_02: Because what if we said, like when you even some people are gonna get offended, some people are gonna be salty because their lives don't feel easy, and that's gonna trigger something for them.
• 54:55
  SPEAKER_02: And that's great.
• 54:56
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe that's gonna be the first step in their journey to reevaluating things.
• 54:59
  SPEAKER_02: But what also is gonna happen is you're gonna inspire other people who deeply want that for themselves and are maybe a little bit farther along in the journey and are ready to start changing things, and you're gonna show them that it's possible.
• 55:11
  SPEAKER_02: Like someone could hear my story and want to stay home with their newborn child and decide that that's possible for them because they heard Mariah and I talking about it on this podcast.
• 55:20
  SPEAKER_02: Like just letting other people know things are possible is so vital and important to this.
• 55:27
  SPEAKER_02: Letting them know that this is possible, it's possible for them, they are worthy of it.
• 55:31
  SPEAKER_02: Be an expander for other people.
• 55:33
  SPEAKER_02: And so what I'm walking away with this is I can brag a little bit.
• 55:37
  SPEAKER_02: I can tell other people about how my life is easy and what I've done to set that up.
• 55:41
  SPEAKER_02: Because even though it may get a little bit of saltiness from some people, it's gonna inspire other people.
• 55:47
  SPEAKER_02: And those are the people that I care about.
• 55:49
  SPEAKER_02: Those are the people that we're here for.
• 55:51
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so just share your light, you guys.
• 55:54
  SPEAKER_02: If you're having wonderful things going on and you've worked hard and you've created ease for yourself, I know I started off this podcast kind of rolling my eyes, and I may still roll my eyes at you if I'm waking up on the morning starting my period.
• 56:04
  SPEAKER_02: I may still get salty, right?
• 56:05
  SPEAKER_02: Like that's just the human experience.
• 56:07
  SPEAKER_02: I can't tell you who I'm gonna be in any moment.
• 56:09
  SPEAKER_02: But like still do it, still share your light because there's gonna be people that hear that message and it's gonna be the right day for them in the right moment, in the right now, and they're gonna take that and be inspired and then go pursue their own ideas of ease and ripple that effect into their own lives.
• 56:24
  SPEAKER_02: So bragging is something we can probably spend a whole nother episode talking about, but that is a muscle I would like to start building because I think I could be more of an expander for others, and I think just by doing that, that would allow me to find more ease in in my own stuff.
• 56:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it just comes down to like the power and community, and that's why it matters.
• 56:42
  SPEAKER_00: Who are you sharing this stuff with?
• 56:44
  SPEAKER_00: If you're sharing it with people and then like they're rolling their eyes at you, oh okay, well, I mean, like I'm gonna spend less time with you now.
• 56:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I mean, think about it.
• 56:55
  SPEAKER_00: I would never have realized, I mean, maybe I would have, but like never realized how difficult I was making launching a new program until Jordan was literally like, yo, bitch, I literally just create a fucking doc and have people buy from there.
• 57:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like it doesn't have to be that difficult.
• 57:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like she was just sharing transparently and honestly and neutrally what she does, how I felt about that.
• 57:20
  SPEAKER_00: I could have been like, oh my God, that's so inspiring.
• 57:23
  SPEAKER_00: Or I could have felt neutral, or I could have been like, wow, you just send people a Google Doc.
• 57:28
  SPEAKER_00: That's not very professional.
• 57:30
  SPEAKER_00: I could have taken that in so many different directions, and none of them have anything to do with her.
• 57:38
  SPEAKER_00: She's just sharing neutrally.
• 57:40
  SPEAKER_00: Now there's a difference when somebody's sharing, like there's a different resonance when somebody's sharing to like prove themselves or like their ego is on another kick and they're trying to rub something in your face.
• 57:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like, there's a different energetic resonance there versus somebody that's sharing because like they're proud of something that they did, or like they're sharing neutrally or something.
• 58:00
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's like that's why I think noticing that subtleness behind things, it's the same thing with like your decisions or like your wants.
• 58:12
  SPEAKER_00: Noticing that subtle energy behind them can be a huge light bulb moment for things because it's like sometimes I'll share something and maybe they do come off show Bodie.
• 58:23
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe they do come off, like, yeah, I make$750 a month from YouTube ads.
• 58:29
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe that comes across as like, wow, she really keeps saying that.
• 58:31
  SPEAKER_00: She must.
• 58:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm fucking proud of myself.
• 58:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I have shared that not because I need somebody to pat me on the back, but because I know that people are burned out on these other platforms.
• 58:45
  SPEAKER_00: I do it to be an example, to be an expander.
• 58:48
  SPEAKER_00: I have had numerous people sliding into my DMs and they were like, I think I'm gonna start exploring YouTube.
• 58:53
  SPEAKER_00: I thought it was too, what did they?
• 58:55
  SPEAKER_00: I thought it was too saturated.
• 58:57
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't realize that you could do blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 59:00
  SPEAKER_00: And like the fact that you only create two videos a month.
• 59:02
  SPEAKER_00: I thought that I had to create three videos a week.
• 59:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like, me just sharing things can inspire others.
• 59:11
  SPEAKER_00: So exactly what you're saying.
• 59:12
  SPEAKER_00: And so I feel like notice your frequency or notice your energy when you're sharing.
• 59:18
  SPEAKER_00: And try to let it be clean.
• 59:23
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know what I mean?
• 59:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like, if you still that's why I think that it's important that like we share things maybe when we're not in the thick of it, but when we're a little bit more processed through it, not because we can't let people into our messy middle.
• 59:39
  SPEAKER_00: I think that there is like medicine in that too.
• 59:41
  SPEAKER_00: But it's really, I think it's more of like the energy that comes with it.
• 59:45
  SPEAKER_00: We're it's coming with like a neutral frequency, and that way it can land with somebody positive, negative, or neutral.
• 59:53
  SPEAKER_02: And you're the only person that's going to be able to answer that question for you in terms of what is the energy behind this.
• 59:59
  SPEAKER_02: We made this distinction in that interview with Lisa, which I thought was so interesting, and I've been thinking about since that episode.
• 1:00:06
  SPEAKER_02: She was talking about, I've certainly run into this.
• 1:00:09
  SPEAKER_02: When you're an expert in something and you're getting asked to speak about something, you say the same things over and over and over again.
• 1:00:15
  SPEAKER_02: And it can get a bit monotonous.
• 1:00:17
  SPEAKER_02: And doing the same call, the same script over and over and over again can feel repetitive and you can start to not really like it.
• 1:00:24
  SPEAKER_02: And there's a boredom there.
• 1:00:25
  SPEAKER_02: And um, she she was saying that she encourages her clients when they hit that boredom to really connect with who they're serving and remember that the person they're serving hasn't heard that message before.
• 1:00:36
  SPEAKER_02: And so there's there's a bit of acceptance in that boredom.
• 1:00:39
  SPEAKER_02: If you still feel like that message is important and you still want to serve those people, you kind of just got to eat that's that's the hard.
• 1:00:44
  SPEAKER_02: You got to eat that boredom because you still want to serve those people.
• 1:00:48
  SPEAKER_02: But underneath it all, when you peeled back all the layers of the onion, there's still this really clean energy there of you wanting to serve those people.
• 1:00:55
  SPEAKER_02: And so she said something started to happen for her where it wasn't really necessarily that boredom energy anymore, that like deeper, subtle energy behind, oh, I don't really feel good doing this.
• 1:01:06
  SPEAKER_02: I don't really want to keep doing this.
• 1:01:08
  SPEAKER_02: I don't feel good about what I'm doing for my clients.
• 1:01:10
  SPEAKER_02: I don't really want to figure out why.
• 1:01:12
  SPEAKER_02: And so she had kind of noticed that that like deeper energy of like the cleanness with had changed.
• 1:01:18
  SPEAKER_02: And so she needed to make a change.
• 1:01:20
  SPEAKER_02: And it wasn't that she was bored of saying the same thing over and over and over again.
• 1:01:24
  SPEAKER_02: It was kind of more nuanced, like we're saying.
• 1:01:27
  SPEAKER_02: It was a level deeper than that.
• 1:01:29
  SPEAKER_02: And that kind of distinction is not something anybody on the outside is ever going to be able to give you any intel about.
• 1:01:35
  SPEAKER_02: That's something that you're gonna have to sit in the stillness with and and decipher.
• 1:01:39
  SPEAKER_02: But I do think there's such a good distinction there because I have quit and shut down so many ideas and businesses and careers because I just got bored and I took that boredom to mean like, oh, my heart isn't in it anymore and I need to stop doing this.
• 1:01:52
  SPEAKER_02: And that maybe was the case sometimes, but other times the case was like, oh no, actually, Shay, like your intuition, your subtle, your nudges are telling you like this isn't an alignment anymore.
• 1:02:03
  SPEAKER_02: The energy is not here for this anymore.
• 1:02:05
  SPEAKER_02: You can't do this from an authentic place, so it's time to switch.
• 1:02:08
  SPEAKER_02: And so I think there's the whole theme of this podcast is like it's all about the nuance, like exploring the nuances of life and business, right?
• 1:02:16
  SPEAKER_02: Like, there's always going to be arguments to be made on all sides of everything.
• 1:02:20
  SPEAKER_02: And I think our brains really like to categorize things, and this is right and this is wrong, and this is how it has to be all the time.
• 1:02:28
  SPEAKER_02: And what we know is that that's not true.
• 1:02:30
  SPEAKER_02: Like, life is so much gray, life is so much nuance, so much seasonality.
• 1:02:35
  SPEAKER_02: Like you were saying earlier, there's pendulum swings in one direction and the other.
• 1:02:39
  SPEAKER_02: And it's all about your ability to roll with it, right?
• 1:02:42
  SPEAKER_02: Like, can you just accept, you know, surrender, flow with it?
• 1:02:48
  SPEAKER_02: And and that Mariah and I laugh at ourselves, but we end every single episode with how are you giving yourself space and stillness to spend time with you?
• 1:02:57
  SPEAKER_02: How are you getting to know you?
• 1:02:59
  SPEAKER_02: How are you listening to you?
• 1:03:00
  SPEAKER_02: How are you having communications with yourself, feeling back layers of the onion, right?
• 1:03:05
  SPEAKER_02: Like that stillness and alone time and self-reflection, I really think is so important because that's gonna be your North Star as you are deciphering your way and guiding your way through all this stuff.
• 1:03:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I feel like it just comes back to like what you're the only one that can define what is easy.
• 1:03:26
  SPEAKER_00: What does easy look like for you?
• 1:03:28
  SPEAKER_00: What does it feel like in this moment?
• 1:03:29
  SPEAKER_00: What does it feel like in this situation with these people?
• 1:03:33
  SPEAKER_00: There's layers to every situation, there's layers to every decision.
• 1:03:38
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody else can define ease for you.
• 1:03:42
  SPEAKER_00: That's a gift, and it's fucking annoying.
• 1:03:47
  SPEAKER_00: Because a lot of the time I just want somebody to tell me what to do.
• 1:03:51
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody can tell me what to do, and so I think it's like just coming back to you.
• 1:03:55
  SPEAKER_00: And also, when you were talking, I did Google the quote because I didn't want to not Google it.
• 1:04:00
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's the same boiling water that softens the potato, hardens the egg.
• 1:04:08
  SPEAKER_00: That's what it is.
• 1:04:09
  SPEAKER_00: And so, like, remember that sometimes it's medicine, sometimes it's poison.
• 1:04:16
  SPEAKER_00: You get to decide what does easy mean for you?
• 1:04:19
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe easy today is you know, doing the workout, maybe easy tomorrow is watching the trash TV.
• 1:04:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like you're the one that can decide, but that core foundation comes back to what do you need right now?
• 1:04:33
  SPEAKER_00: And being a human, our needs change with what's going on in the world, what's going on in society, what's going on internally, externally, all of that.
• 1:04:41
  SPEAKER_00: That's why it's difficult.
• 1:04:43
  SPEAKER_00: That's why I feel like we can be like, oh, today feels so easy, or this moment feels so easy, and then the next moment it's hard.
• 1:04:49
  SPEAKER_00: We have so much going on internally and externally.
• 1:04:52
  SPEAKER_00: So I feel like the foundation of everything is you.
• 1:05:00
  SPEAKER_00: Always can you put the time into building that relationship with you?
• 1:05:08
  SPEAKER_00: So I feel good.
• 1:05:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:05:12
  SPEAKER_02: I think um I like that phrasing you used of clean energy.
• 1:05:16
  SPEAKER_02: Spend some time with yourself, and where does it feel clean?
• 1:05:20
  SPEAKER_02: Where does it feel light?
• 1:05:21
  SPEAKER_02: Where does it feel like it's all about like reconnecting with that feeling?
• 1:05:25
  SPEAKER_02: And um I I enjoyed this episode.
• 1:05:29
  SPEAKER_02: I have certainly taken some things away and like really kind of crystallized ideas.
• 1:05:35
  SPEAKER_02: It's also given me some good reframes around how I am making things too hard, how I am making things harder than they need to be, and then finding gratitude within the hard um and the importance of the hard and choosing the hard.
• 1:05:48
  SPEAKER_02: So I really this episode is very nourishing for me and life giving for me.
• 1:05:51
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you guys for going on this journey with us.
• 1:05:54
  SPEAKER_02: Um, with that, I think we're ready to close this episode down.
• 1:05:57
  SPEAKER_02: Remember, friends, you have the power to create whatever.
• 1:06:00
  SPEAKER_02: The fuck you want.
• 1:06:01
  SPEAKER_02: Follow the nudge, ask bless ask questions, and let curiosity guide the way.
• 1:06:05
  SPEAKER_02: We'll see you in the next episode.