Latest / New Manager Conversations with Fexingo: First 90 Days, Managing Former Peers, and Leadership Basics / How New Managers Can Handle Imposter Syndrome
Transcript
- Lucas: So you've been a manager for a few months now. You got the promotion, maybe you're managing people who used to be your peers. But there's this nagging thought: 'At any moment, they're going to figure out I don't really know what I'm doing.' Luna: Right. That classic 'I'm a fraud' feeling. Imposter syndrome among new managers is incredibly common. Lucas: A 2025 study from Harvard Business Review found that 67 percent of first-time managers report feeling like frauds in their first six months. That's two out of three. And it's not just nervousness — it's a belief that you were promoted by mistake. Luna: Interesting. And the study probably found that it's worse for people who were promoted from within, because everyone knows your past mistakes. Lucas: Exactly. The researchers called it the 'visibility trap.' When you're an individual contributor, your work is mostly behind the scenes. As a manager, your decisions — and your uncertainty — are on display. Every pause, every 'let me get back to you' can feel like evidence of incompetence. Luna: So what do new managers do about it? I mean, knowing it's common doesn't make it go away. Lucas: The study outlined three tactics that actually work. And they're not about 'positive affirmations' or 'fake it till you make it.' They're concrete mental shifts. Luna: I'm all ears. Lucas: First tactic: run a pre-mortem before every significant decision. Instead of worrying about what could go wrong after you decide, you imagine you've already made the decision and it failed — then work backwards to figure out why. It turns vague anxiety into specific risk management. Luna: That's smart. It gives you a sense of control. And it's the opposite of paralysis. Lucas: Second tactic: instead of trying to prove you're competent, ask yourself 'What would my boss tell me to do in this situation?' It borrows credibility from someone whose judgment you trust. It sounds simple but it short-circuits the self-doubt loop. Luna: I like that. It's like a mental shortcut. You're not inventing confidence from scratch; you're borrowing it from a more experienced perspective. Lucas: Third tactic: keep a 'competency log.' After every meaningful interaction — a one-on-one that went well, a tough decision that turned out right — jot down one sentence about what you did and why it worked. Over time you build a concrete record of your own effectiveness. Luna: I've heard of people doing this with 'brag files' or 'win lists.' But for a new manager, I imagine it's especially powerful because the negative feedback loops are so loud. Lucas: Right. Your brain remembers the one awkward exchange over the ten successful ones. The log recalibrates your internal data set. One manager I know — she was promoted to lead a team of five at a mid-sized tech firm — she kept a running document called 'Evidence I'm not a Fraud.' Luna: That's the same energy as the study's recommendation. Did it work? Lucas: She told me that after six months, she could look back and see patterns. She had resolved a conflict between two engineers, she had redesigned a process that saved the team ten hours a week, she had landed a promotion for one of her reports. The document was proof that she was actually doing the job. Luna: And that's the irony — imposter syndrome hits hardest when you're actually doing a good job, because you're operating at the edge of your competence. If you were coasting, you wouldn't feel it. Lucas: That's worth pausing on. The HBR study found that new managers who reported the highest levels of imposter syndrome also received the highest performance ratings from their own bosses. The self-doubt wasn't a sign of incompetence — it was a sign of self-awareness. Luna: So maybe a little bit of imposter syndrome is healthy? It keeps you humble, keeps you learning. Lucas: The researchers would say yes — up to a point. It becomes unhealthy when it leads to overworking, micromanaging, or avoiding decisions. And that's where the tactics come in. Luna: I want to go back to the pre-mortem idea. Can we walk through a quick example? Lucas: Sure. Say you need to announce a new process for how your team handles client requests. Your instinct might be to delay the announcement while you perfect it. A pre-mortem would be: imagine you sent it out and it backfired — what went wrong? Luna: Maybe the team didn't understand why we're changing. Or they felt blindsided because I didn't ask for their input. Lucas: Exactly. So now you know: you need to send a 'why we're changing' message a week before, and you need to ask two senior team members for feedback beforehand. The anxiety about 'what if it fails' becomes a concrete checklist. You're no longer frozen — you're prepared. Luna: That feels actionable. And it's the opposite of the classic new manager trap: over-explaining or over-preparing to the point of paralysis. Lucas: Pre-mortems also reduce the time you spend second-guessing after the fact. Because you've already considered the worst-case scenario and mitigated it, you can move on. Luna: I'd imagine this is especially useful for new managers who are managing former peers. Because the fear of losing respect can amplify the imposter feeling. Lucas: Absolutely. When you were peers, your mistakes were just part of the team dynamic. Now, a mistake can feel like a leadership failure. The pre-mortem gives you a way to manage that fear proactively. Luna: It's interesting that we're talking about this today, because I think a lot of our listeners are in that exact position. They got promoted a couple months ago, and they're still finding their footing. Lucas: If we've helped you think through a career move or a management challenge, we'd love for you to consider supporting the show. It's listener-supported and ad-free, and every bit helps us keep making episodes like this one. You can do that at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. Luna: Yeah, it's a small gesture that makes a big difference. And it's totally optional — we're just grateful you're listening. Lucas: So back to the tactics. The competency log — how often should a new manager update it? Luna: I'd say right after any interaction that leaves you feeling good or bad. That way you capture the positive evidence while it's fresh, and you also capture the negative ones so you can analyze them. Lucas: Yeah. And it doesn't have to be long. One or two sentences. The act of writing it down is what matters. It forces you to articulate what you did well. Luna: One thing I'd add: share the log with a trusted mentor or peer. Sometimes we need someone else to say 'Yeah, that was good work' to really believe it. Lucas: That's a great point. External validation can break the internal narrative. The study actually mentioned that new managers who had regular check-ins with a mentor or sponsor reported significantly lower imposter syndrome scores after three months. Luna: So the prescription is: pre-mortem big decisions, borrow credibility from your boss, keep a competency log, and get a mentor. That's a solid toolkit. Lucas: It is. And it's worth remembering that feeling like an imposter doesn't mean you are one. It means you're stretching into a new role. The discomfort is part of the growth. Luna: I think that's the key takeaway. The goal isn't to eliminate self-doubt entirely — it's to channel it into productive behavior instead of paralysis. Lucas: Exactly. So if you're a new manager waking up at three in the morning replaying a conversation, try one of these tactics tomorrow. See if it shifts the feeling even a little. Luna: And if it doesn't, try another one. The toolkit is flexible. What works for one person might not work for another. Lucas: We'll be back next week with another episode. Until then, take care of yourselves — and your teams.