Latest / Silver FM 100.6 / Tiny pep talks for everyday problems

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Tiny pep talks for everyday problems · Silver FM 100.6

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Speaker 1: The midterms are coming, and if you think the news
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Speaker 1: Wherever you get.
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Speaker 2: Podcasts, you're listening to Life Kid from NPR. Hey, it's
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Speaker 2: Mary El. I want you to think about the last
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Speaker 2: time you knew you had to do something, or you
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Speaker 2: wanted to do something, at least in theory, but then
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Speaker 2: the moment came and you just didn't have the juice.
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Speaker 2: You got scared, or you started to doubt yourself, you
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Speaker 2: lost motivation. Friend, I believe what you needed in that
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Speaker 2: moment was a pep talk.
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Speaker 3: I have to give myself a pep talk every single
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Speaker 3: time I'm parallel park and I live in Chicago, so
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Speaker 3: I am constantly parallel parking, and every single time, without fail,
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Speaker 3: I have to talk myself down, remind myself I can
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Speaker 3: do it, remind myself that I've done it before, that
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Speaker 3: I'm capable and I don't think that will ever change.
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Speaker 3: I think I'll just never get used to pala parking,
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Speaker 3: and I will just have to keep being used to
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Speaker 3: giving myself the pep talks.
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Speaker 2: This is Paula Skaggs. She and fellow writer Josh Linden
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Speaker 2: wrote a book together called Tiny Pep Talks, and it's
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Speaker 2: full of motivational speeches for life's small but still daunting moments.
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Speaker 2: The moment when it's terrible outside but your dog needs
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Speaker 2: to pee, or when you're really bad at something that
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Speaker 2: you've never tried before, or when you have a little crush.
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Speaker 2: The point of a pep talk is encouragement, of course,
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Speaker 2: and it's also a simple act of support.
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Speaker 4: Really, just the concept of you're on their side, you're
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Speaker 4: in their corner, you're their friend, you've got their back,
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Speaker 4: and they can do this.
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Speaker 2: On this episode of Life Kit, how to give a
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Speaker 2: good pep talk. After writing a whole bunch of them
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Speaker 2: for the book, Josh and Paula have tips for us,
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Speaker 2: and by the way, they say, you can give pep
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Speaker 2: talks to yourself too.
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Speaker 5: This week on the NPR Politics Podcast, another progressive democrat
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Speaker 5: edges out an establishment candidate, Abdul lsaed one Michigan Senate primary,
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Speaker 5: campaigning on affordability healthcare and ending US military aid to Israel.
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Speaker 5: Join us as we break down his victory and what
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Speaker 5: it could signal for November's midterms on the NPR Politics podcast.
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Speaker 5: Listen on the NPR app or wherever you get podcasts.
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Speaker 1: Weiln It seems like everything is being called a recession
2:41
Speaker 1: indicator these days.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, like the box of Hamburger helper in my pantry.
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Speaker 5: Or the new Apple Neo book.
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Speaker 3: Or the resurgence of press on nails or lipstick or
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Speaker 3: no lipstick.
2:51
Speaker 5: I've lost track.
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Speaker 1: There is only one way to know if these are
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Speaker 1: actual economic warning signs, though. Listen to the indicator from
2:58
Speaker 1: Planet Money on the NPI app, well, wherever you get
3:01
Speaker 1: your podcasts.
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Speaker 6: Oh hey there, I'm Brittany Loose and I don't know.
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Speaker 6: Maybe this is a little out of pockets to say,
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Speaker 6: but I think you should listen to my podcast. It's
3:13
Speaker 6: called It's Been a Minute, and I love it and
3:15
Speaker 6: I think you will too. Over the past couple of months,
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Speaker 6: over one hundred thousand new listeners started tuning in. Find
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Speaker 6: out why listen to the It's Been a Minute podcast
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Speaker 6: from NPR today.
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Speaker 2: What made you want to write this book?
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Speaker 3: Josh and I met doing improv comedy here in Chicago,
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Speaker 3: where we live, and over the pandemic. We like everybody else,
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Speaker 3: we're like, what are we going to do with all
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Speaker 3: of our now spare time? And the theaters were closed,
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Speaker 3: and we ended up creating a conversation card game called
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Speaker 3: No Wrong Answers, and we jokingly, quote unquote guarantee that
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Speaker 3: there are questions you've never been asked before, like which
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Speaker 3: serial mascot would be the best kisser?
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Speaker 2: Well? Which one do you think?
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Speaker 3: The number one? We answer, we get like far and
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Speaker 3: away is Tony the Tiger. Oh yeah, nine out of
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Speaker 3: ten times.
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Speaker 2: I totally forgot about him. I was gonna say the
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Speaker 2: tricks Rabbit.
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Speaker 3: Oh that's a good one too.
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Speaker 5: Yeah.
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Speaker 4: And it's not who you're gonna spend your life with,
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Speaker 4: it's really just who would be the best kisser for you?
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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not marrying the tricks Rabbit. They seem like
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Speaker 2: a lot of work to be around and always hopping
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Speaker 2: around from here to there.
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Speaker 4: Confidence issues.
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Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, Okay, so you had this card game. Sorry,
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Speaker 2: complete aside, but I needed to dive in there.
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Speaker 3: No, I'm glad I'm glad we got it. So, you know,
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Speaker 3: just with any small business, Josh and I found that
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Speaker 3: we were giving ourselves pep talks, or giving each other
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Speaker 3: pep talks all of the time, for everything for our
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Speaker 3: eighth trip to the post office that day, or for
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Speaker 3: everything else under the sun.
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Speaker 4: And then also, you know, just as two people who
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Speaker 4: were collaborators and co create and friends, just giving each
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Speaker 4: other pep talks for our lives and realizing that, you know,
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Speaker 4: you can get a pep talk for all the really
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Speaker 4: big stuff. You know, you're going to get married, you
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Speaker 4: need to kick the game winning field goal at the
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Speaker 4: super Bowl, you're going to Mars, whatever the big idea is.
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Speaker 4: But all the you know, day to day stuff we
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Speaker 4: didn't really have. There wasn't someone who was saying, you know, hey,
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Speaker 4: you can go ahead and you can parallel park. You
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Speaker 4: got this, and so it kind of came from that idea,
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Speaker 4: and then we had the opportunity to turn this into
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Speaker 4: a book, and that's how Tiny Pep Talks was born.
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Speaker 2: Do you have any rules for a pep talk on
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Speaker 2: what it should include or should not include.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, we have kind of a framework that we use
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Speaker 4: for ourselves when we're writing pep talks, so we kind
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Speaker 4: of have four key things that we look out for
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Speaker 4: when we're thinking about giving someone a pep talk, And
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Speaker 4: the first one is that we wanted to be specific.
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Speaker 2: Okay, so it's.
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Speaker 4: More helpful than general encouragement if you are specific about
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Speaker 4: the way that you were helping someone. You know, if
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Speaker 4: you're give this to a friend, they're probably nervous or
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Speaker 4: excited about a specific thing, not just in general, So
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Speaker 4: making sure that you're really kind of listening to what
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Speaker 4: they need and tailoring the pep talk to the specific anxiety, nerves,
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Speaker 4: excitement that they have.
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Speaker 2: Okay, what's next. It's number two.
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Speaker 3: Pep talks aren't only for the really big things or
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Speaker 3: the things that we know a friend or a family
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Speaker 3: member or whoever is going through a very hard time.
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Speaker 3: They can also be for something small that you know
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Speaker 3: it's gonna bug your friend or you know that maybe
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Speaker 3: they're excited about while also being a little bit nervous about.
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Speaker 3: So if somebody mentions, hey, I'm feeling nervous about a
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Speaker 3: presentation I have next week, just remembering that and giving
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Speaker 3: a little short pep talk about you're going to be
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Speaker 3: great at your presentation. And here's xyz reason it can
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Speaker 3: be really meaningful. It can be just as meaningful as
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Speaker 3: the big things when people are probably getting support from
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Speaker 3: a bunch of places.
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Speaker 2: Rule number one is be specific, and rule number two
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Speaker 2: is pep talks don't just have to be about the
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Speaker 2: huge things in life. What's number three.
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Speaker 4: Number three is that your pep talk doesn't always have
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Speaker 4: to include advice. If you have a genuine perspective and
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Speaker 4: experience that would be helpful in that particular situation, by
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Speaker 4: all means, your friend probably wants to hear that. And
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Speaker 4: that's probably why they can't do in the first place,
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Speaker 4: is because they want your advice in that scenario. But
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Speaker 4: high level advice is totally okay. It can be things
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Speaker 4: like take a breath. That's totally fine. You don't have
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Speaker 4: to have all the answers to give someone a pep talk.
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Speaker 4: Sometimes also, people don't want or need solutions. That whole
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Speaker 4: idea of you know, are you looking for someone to
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Speaker 4: listen or are you looking for solutions? The pep talk
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Speaker 4: in some cases can just be encouragement and being witness
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Speaker 4: to the challenges that they're going through, the excitement that
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Speaker 4: they're having, whatever it might be.
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Speaker 2: I find that it's helpful for me when a friend
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Speaker 2: is just like, it's okay to stop doing that. Sometimes
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Speaker 2: I feel like I need permission to stop trying at something.
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Speaker 5: Yeah.
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Speaker 3: Absolutely, And like a pep talk, it doesn't have to
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Speaker 3: be something revolutionary that the person you're giving it to
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Speaker 3: has never heard of or has never thought of before.
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Speaker 3: Sometimes it's just reminding them of the thing that they
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Speaker 3: already know to be true.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, you said there are four pep talk rules
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Speaker 2: you'd come up with, what's the last one?
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Speaker 3: So our final one is basically keep it simple. A
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Speaker 3: pep talk doesn't have to be a formally written book.
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Speaker 3: It doesn't have to be a halftime speech from a
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Speaker 3: coach that's really thought out. It can just be as
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Speaker 3: simple as a voice note or a text or a
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Speaker 3: post it note or whatever it is to give your
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Speaker 3: person encouragement. It doesn't have to be something really formal
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Speaker 3: that you spend a ton of time and thought on.
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Speaker 2: All right, I'd love for you to give me a
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Speaker 2: few pep talks. There are a lot that I liked
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Speaker 2: from the book. How about for when you want to
8:53
Speaker 2: order delivery but you really should cook perfect? All right?
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Speaker 4: Quick? We don't have a lot of time before you
9:00
Speaker 4: and in all plants to cook tonight and order that
9:02
Speaker 4: overpriced gourmet burger. So we've got to work fast. First,
9:06
Speaker 4: don't go anywhere near your phone. Throw it across the
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Speaker 4: room if you have to. Your phone is a portal
9:11
Speaker 4: to every restaurant in a ten mile radius, and they're
9:14
Speaker 4: all waiting and ready to send you food with the
9:17
Speaker 4: click of a button, plus a seven ninety nine delivery fee. Next,
9:22
Speaker 4: open your fridge, take it all in. It's okay if
9:25
Speaker 4: there's not a lot of food in there, or if
9:27
Speaker 4: it's mostly just gourmet hot sauces. For example. Maybe past
9:31
Speaker 4: you thought radishes were a good idea. So here we
9:34
Speaker 4: are staring at a crisper drawer chalk a block with radishes.
9:37
Speaker 4: That's a start or maybe an end. Before you open
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Speaker 4: the fridge, you had to choose between every recipe ever created.
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Speaker 4: That's too big a choice for a Wednesday night. Of course,
9:49
Speaker 4: you'd rather get delivery. But now that you've been reacquainted
9:52
Speaker 4: with these radishes, you've got something to work with. You're
9:55
Speaker 4: no longer burdened by the curse of unlimited choice. Next,
9:59
Speaker 4: go ahead ahead and google recipes that use radishes, or
10:02
Speaker 4: go analog by grabbing a cookbook off your shelf, blowing
10:04
Speaker 4: off the accumulated dust we assume has gathered, and finding
10:08
Speaker 4: radish in the index. Once you find a recipe that
10:10
Speaker 4: seems moderately appetizing, get to chopping, and just like that,
10:14
Speaker 4: you saved nineteen dollars. Now get cooking.
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Speaker 2: Excellent. I have this temptation all the time, and so
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Speaker 2: it definitely resonated for me, and I think it's super specific,
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Speaker 2: as you said. And also I feel like this one
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Speaker 2: falls in the category of helping someone do the thing
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Speaker 2: that they know they should do and they want to
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Speaker 2: do because it aligns with their values, but they don't
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Speaker 2: want to do in this moment. Yeah, Paula, can you
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Speaker 2: give me a pep talk for when my clothes don't fit?
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Speaker 7: Yes?
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Speaker 3: Absolutely? Okay, so your old clothes aren't fitting. You bear
10:50
Speaker 3: with us because we're gonna say a thing that you
10:52
Speaker 3: already know. But that doesn't make it any less important
10:55
Speaker 3: to hear. They're just clothes, that's it. They're just clothes.
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Speaker 3: You know what the world is full of. Discount mattress stores,
11:03
Speaker 3: new and improved laundry detergents, acoustic covers of Fast Car
11:07
Speaker 3: by Tracy Chapman, and also articles of clothing. So so
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Speaker 3: many articles of clothing, including ones that will fit you comfortably,
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Speaker 3: are going to make you feel good and won't bum
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Speaker 3: you out every time you try to wear them, and
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Speaker 3: you deserve to find those. Think about how much you've
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Speaker 3: experienced since you've bought your old clothes, The things you've learned,
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Speaker 3: the trips you've taken, the trashy British dating shows you've binged.
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Speaker 3: You've changed, and naturally your body has two and thank goodness,
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Speaker 3: bodies do change, otherwise we'd all still be walking around
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Speaker 3: with the slumping shoulders and raging bo of our middle
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Speaker 3: school selves. You're not static emotionally or physically. No one is.
11:46
Speaker 3: That's why nobody has ever said the words. And the
11:48
Speaker 3: best thing about them, they've worn the same size of
11:51
Speaker 3: genes since puberty. These old clothes have served you well.
11:55
Speaker 3: But now it's time to stick them in the donation pile,
11:58
Speaker 3: or at the very least, into the depths of your
11:59
Speaker 3: close it where they're not serving as a daily reminder
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Speaker 3: of the size you arbitrarily think you should still be.
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Speaker 3: And then you're going to go out and enjoy your
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Speaker 3: life and close that reflect the vibrant, exciting, magnetic person
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Speaker 3: you are and always have been.
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Speaker 2: M Yeah, I love this one. Nobody knows the size
12:19
Speaker 2: of your pants truly, so just where ones that fit?
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Speaker 3: Yeah, we just sometimes it just helps. Even though that
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Speaker 3: is the pep talk that you would probably give to
12:28
Speaker 3: somebody in your life that came to you feeling that
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Speaker 3: sometimes it's hard to tell those words to ourselves.
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Speaker 2: Do you all give yourself pep talks?
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Speaker 3: You know, in our mind, to give yourself a pep talk,
12:39
Speaker 3: it's probably the same format as giving a pep talk
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Speaker 3: to somebody you love, and you should give yourself the
12:46
Speaker 3: same amount of grace and encouragement and forgiveness, and also
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Speaker 3: the same expectation to not be perfect and to not
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Speaker 3: nail it right off the bat.
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Speaker 4: No one is stopping you from, you know, to do
13:01
Speaker 4: a voice note, pretending that you were talking to someone
13:05
Speaker 4: else giving them a pep talk, and then you listen
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Speaker 4: back to it, you know, when you need it. It
13:11
Speaker 4: doesn't have to be you know, reciting mantras and affirmations
13:14
Speaker 4: in the mirror. It can be all those kinds of
13:16
Speaker 4: things that we've talked about, just apply to yourself.
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Speaker 2: I've definitely said like you got this girl to myself. Yeah,
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Speaker 2: it could be simple even like okay, you got this,
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Speaker 2: or like stay calm, write yourself a post it okay,
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Speaker 2: Josh Paula, thank you so much.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, thank you so much. Thrilled to be here.
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Speaker 3: We really appreciate it. We had a great time, all.
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Speaker 2: Right, time for a recap. PEP talks should be specific
13:41
Speaker 2: and you can give them during life's smaller moments and
13:43
Speaker 2: challenges too. They don't always have to include advice, and
13:47
Speaker 2: it's a good idea to keep them simple. Also, don't
13:50
Speaker 2: forget to give yourself pep talks too. If you love
13:54
Speaker 2: life Kit and you want even more, follow us on
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Speaker 2: Instagram at NPR life Kit. There you'll find featuring some
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Speaker 2: of our favorite tips, like a recent one where our
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Speaker 2: producer Margaret Serino demonstrates three exercises that improve agility. You
14:08
Speaker 2: can find those by following at NPR Lifekit. This episode
14:12
Speaker 2: of Life Kit was produced by Claire Marie Schneider. Our
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Speaker 2: Digital editor is Malka garib and our visuals editor is c. J. Rikalon.
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Speaker 2: Megan Kane is our senior supervising editor, and Lauren Gonzalez
14:23
Speaker 2: is our executive producer. Our production team also includes Andy Tagle,
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Speaker 2: Margaret Serino, and Sylvie Douglas. Engineering support comes from Jayce's
14:32
Speaker 2: I'm Mariel Sagara. Thanks for listening.
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