Latest / FINE is a 4-Letter Word / 24. (S1E24) Life by Design, Not Default with Christy Metcalf

Transcript

24. (S1E24) Life by Design, Not Default with Christy Metcalf · FINE is a 4-Letter Word

0:03
Lori Saitz: Is that we have a whole conversation and I don't
0:05
record it. Right? Wow. All right. Well, we might as well
0:11
just start right over again. There we go. I mean, I have
0:16
whatever we had from before, I think but in case we don't Ah,
0:23
Christy Welcome to Fine is a 4-Letter Word. Lori. Let me just
0:32
tell you that Christy and I have been having technical
0:35
difficulties trying to get this interview recorded and we're
0:38
laughing because we have just spent the past I don't even know
0:41
how many minutes to make this work. But I am, I am still eager
0:46
to have Christy share her knowledge and information in her
0:50
story. So we're gonna start over again. Christy Tell me, well,
0:55
first of all, Christy and I were introduced by a previous guest,
1:00
Deb Coviello, who is on a previous episode. I can't
1:04
remember which, which number it is 17, I think but go back and
1:09
look for Deb Coviello's interview, Deb introduced
1:12
Christy and me. And here we are. Here we are fighting with
1:18
technology
1:18
Christy Metcalf: I hope you didn't have technical problems
1:20
with her. I'll just say it's me.
1:22
Lori Saitz: We didn't. No, I don't think it's you. I think
1:24
it's just this day.
1:27
Christy Metcalf: We're gonna Yeah, we're gonna push through
1:28
and get it done.
1:29
Lori Saitz: We are we are. So thank you so much for your
1:32
patience and for joining me here today. And let's start out with
1:36
the question that I always ask my guests because I'm just so
1:39
curious about what your background is and where you come
1:42
from, and what were the values that were instilled in you as a
1:45
child that contributed to who you become as an adult?
1:49
Christy Metcalf: Hmm, that's such a great question. So my
1:53
early life was shaped by a tragedy that actually happened
1:57
in our family. So my grandfather was 22 years old, he served in
2:00
the Navy, during World War Two, newly married, he had a six
2:05
month old baby, which was my mom, and he came back to our
2:08
hometown and worked in the steel mill, and he would bring the
2:13
trains with the raw materials in to the steel facility. And one
2:18
day it was raining and he jumped up on the train to grab hold of
2:22
the side, he slipped in his leg went under the train, and it cut
2:26
it off at the knees, and a tragic accident and get six
2:31
weeks later, he went back to work with with a prosthetic leg.
2:35
And I think that that really shaped my mom's childhood and it
2:39
shaped I know my childhood. And so some of the values from that
2:43
lesson, you know, was courage, courage, obviously, but
2:46
perseverance pushing through hard work, don't give up and
2:51
find a way. And I really like when I think about that. It
2:56
really did shape that my childhood and who I am today as
3:00
an individual.
3:01
Lori Saitz: Those are all super strong and what somebody would
3:06
consider a positive qualities. But does they ever take on a
3:10
more negative? You know, pressure?
3:15
Christy Metcalf: Yeah, I mean, a life of their own right? I like
3:18
to say that anything maximized can become a liability. And I
3:21
really as I think about that, right, the Well, first of all
3:25
trying to measure up like if if you have a family member that's
3:28
gone through a tragedy like that, and overcome these
3:31
unsurmountable odds, and is basically living this life, you
3:36
feel like anything that you are in your life that's not going
3:41
your way is just minuscule, right? So I think that there's
3:44
another side of it where you know, always find a way Don't
3:48
give up. But there are times where you have to give up right?
3:52
There are times where you push through, and you're exhausted
3:56
and you're tired and for your own self care and self sanity,
3:59
that it's time to walk away from it. And growing up I learned to
4:04
put on the mask and to be stoic and to show up, right? Whether
4:09
you feel like it or not, you fake it till you make it and I
4:12
think that there's a really dark side to that.
4:15
Lori Saitz: Yeah, because then you're putting pressure on
4:17
yourself. You're First of all, you're not necessarily taking
4:20
care of yourself when you need to. You're putting pressure on
4:23
yourself to accomplish, right when maybe like you said, maybe
4:28
you do need to step back. I know, you know, as
4:31
entrepreneurs, we're always told never ever, ever, ever give up.
4:36
Right? And sometimes you're beating your head against the
4:39
wall. And you need to turn around and look and see if
4:43
there's something else that you could do differently. Yeah,
4:47
maybe it's a simple pivot and maybe it's like in my case when
4:50
I was running my Baking Company shut the whole thing down
4:53
because this is not serving you.
4:55
Christy Metcalf: Yeah, well and you know, there's that other
4:57
side of it like you can you can continue pushing yourself until
5:02
you look back and you're like, Am I happy doing this? Like, I
5:04
think that's ultimately the question. Right? Right. I think
5:07
all of us have it within us to be great and do extraordinary
5:11
things. But are we happy doing those things? And that's the
5:15
question to be answered. If we're not if we get to a point,
5:18
which I love the name of the podcast, right? Fine. If we're
5:21
just at a point where we're fine, and we're not living life
5:25
to its fullest, or its greatest potential, it's time to make
5:28
some changes.
5:30
Lori Saitz: Yeah. So what have there has there been a situation
5:32
where you use those qualities, and you found yourself in a
5:37
situation where everything was fine. And you went along? for
5:40
however long? It was? How Tell me about that?
5:43
Christy Metcalf: Yeah, so I have to say, you know, from the time
5:45
I was young, I was sort of groomed, I'm an only child. And
5:48
I was sort of groomed that this path this. This planned future
5:53
had been laid out before me, I call it a planned an arranged
5:56
career. And that was I was going to go to college, I was the
5:59
first one first generation on both sides of my family to go to
6:01
college, I was going to lay in this amazing corporate job, and
6:05
then life would just unfold in this blissful way. And I
6:08
followed the plan entirely the way it was supposed to be. I
6:12
landed a great corporate job. 11 years later, I was in the
6:15
corporate office, you know, doing my dream job, but
6:18
completely burned out, strung out overwhelmed. And I did not
6:23
have a life. I mean, I was miserable. And I was standing in
6:28
Kansas City, actually doing a leadership development program.
6:31
And I'd asked the participants, when they introduce themselves
6:34
to tell me something fun they did in their life besides work,
6:37
and it's 36 people introduce themselves, I realized, I did
6:40
not have anything outside of work. And I was newly married.
6:43
And it was just sort of this epiphany that came over me like,
6:46
how did I let this happened? And I went back and I had a
6:50
conversation with my boss, and I said, I can't keep this pace up,
6:52
I need some life balance. And he said to me, Christylaurie, there
6:56
is no, no. And meaning this is the job. This is what you signed
7:01
up for, this is what it is. And I went home and I said to my
7:03
husband, I need to find the know. And he was like, Well, why
7:07
don't you start your own company? I do people do that. I
7:10
hadn't been raised in an entrepreneurial family. I'm
7:12
like, is that allowed and not allowed? And so the flip side of
7:18
it is, you know, I was smart enough to do it. And I could do
7:21
it. But it was giving up the dream that my family had for me.
7:25
Right, which on the outside, anybody who saw my life would
7:30
have said, Oh, my gosh, you have an amazing life. Yeah, you have
7:33
this great job. You're traveling all the time you live in a
7:36
beautiful home, you're newly married. And yet I was so
7:39
unfulfilled, and I put the steps in place, I worked with a coach.
7:45
And really it wasn't about the expertise. I wasn't questioning
7:49
the expertise. I was questioning, walking away and
7:52
feeling the guilt and shame from walking away from a good life to
7:56
start something even better. But people didn't see that.
7:59
Lori Saitz: What was it? Like when you had to tell your
8:02
parents that? Did you feel like you were disappointing them?
8:06
Christy Metcalf: Yes, absolutely. And as a matter of
8:08
fact, you know, I can say that my friends and my family, those
8:12
who I thought would be most supportive because they knew me,
8:14
were actually not supportive. They said, Are you crazy, you're
8:18
giving up the security of corporate America, you have a
8:20
great job, you're going to, you know, you're going to be the one
8:23
to break through the glass ceiling. Why are you doing this?
8:26
Like they thought it was crazy. And every single time they say,
8:29
what are you going to do if you fail? And I said, I'll go get
8:32
another job, right? I mean, I knew I could go get another job.
8:35
That's what I had already done. But at that moment, I wanted
8:38
some balance in my life, I just wanted to regroup and take a
8:41
pause. And I said, Hey, if this entrepreneur thing doesn't work
8:44
out, I'll be happy to go get another job. And that was 20
8:47
years ago. So it's amazing that I thought the people around me
8:52
would be the most supportive and they actually weren't.
8:55
Lori Saitz: Yeah, that's interesting, because that
8:57
happens to a lot of people, they think you would think that the
9:00
people who are closest to you would be the most supportive,
9:03
but they're not because you are threatening their way of being.
9:10
Christy Metcalf: Yeah, well, and I and honestly, I had everything
9:13
that they had ever wanted, right? So I had a life that most
9:17
of my family had never even dreamed of, even at 3132 years
9:21
old. And why would I Why would I throw that away? Why would I
9:25
start all over? Why would I follow the unknown and want to
9:28
chart my own course. And I think when they say those things now
9:32
that I work with entrepreneurs, when they say those things
9:35
there, it's really about them right about you. Right? I can
9:40
look back on it. Now. I didn't know that at the time. But it
9:42
was really about all their fears and insecurities and doubts
9:45
about doing it not about me doing
9:48
Lori Saitz: exactly, exactly and this is also why it's so
9:53
important to have friends whose and you know, and talk to your
9:57
friends but also why they are not necessarily the best people
10:02
to help you get to that next level of where you want to go
10:06
and why coaches are so important because, one, they're what's the
10:13
word I'm looking for? They're not they're objective,
10:16
Christy Metcalf: right? And neutral, totally neutral. That's
10:18
the word Yeah.
10:19
Lori Saitz: And your friends, again, your friends are
10:21
threatened because they have their own fears. And you doing
10:24
those things, whether it's in taking a career step like that,
10:28
or changing your life in a personal way, right, makes them
10:32
examine what they're doing and how they're living. And that is
10:36
scary for them.
10:37
Christy Metcalf: It's very scary. And I like to say the
10:39
people that are in our inner circle, they only know the
10:43
person that we are today. And they can see the history, right,
10:47
they can see the behind. But they many times can't see the
10:50
future. And we need to surround ourselves when we're in those
10:54
huge transitions. We need to surround ourselves with people
10:57
that actually see where we're going, not where we came from.
11:00
Lori Saitz: Right? And where you could go the possibilities, the
11:03
possibilities of it all. Yeah. So you mentioned that you went
11:06
around that room and ask people that question, and you weren't
11:12
having any fun. So another thing that I hear from a lot of people
11:16
is, I don't even know what fun is anymore. I've said it myself.
11:20
Yeah, I have to. What did you do to discover that because
11:24
obviously taking going out on your own and becoming an
11:27
entrepreneur is was the thing that you came up with, but
11:31
that's still business, that's still career, business, what,
11:34
did you also find fun things to do?
11:36
Christy Metcalf: Absolutely. So you know, when I sat down and
11:39
looked at my life holistically after that day, I looked at what
11:43
was missing that I envisioned in my perfect life, right. And what
11:47
was missing was, I was not a part of the community that I
11:51
lived in, I wasn't even part of the neighborhood that I lived
11:53
in. So my husband and I had lived there. For years, we had
11:56
moved to Columbus, Ohio for this job for me to take this job. And
12:00
immediately I hit the ground running and I can look back and
12:03
see where some of the chaos I created myself. So I was doing a
12:08
career transition. I was going from sales into sales, training
12:12
and development. And I wanted to prove myself I was hell bent on
12:18
becoming the expert. So I had 30 certifications, and I did the
12:22
the trips and anything that they needed somebody to do, I wanted
12:26
to do it because I wanted to prove that I should be there.
12:29
And that actually ended up working against me, right? I
12:32
then became this highly qualified, a trained person that
12:35
everybody wanted. And that's how I ended up saying yes to all of
12:39
these things. So I was my own worst enemy. But I sit down and
12:43
I looked at, okay, what were the things in my life that were most
12:45
important that I envisioned being in that perfect life that
12:48
were no longer there. And so a sense of community being a part
12:52
of my neighborhood, my husband was married, but living a single
12:56
life, because I was traveling Monday through Friday, I wanted
12:59
to know my neighbor's, I wanted to belong to a church, I wanted
13:03
to volunteer in the community, like all of those pieces, were
13:06
very important to me. And so from that, once I had that clear
13:10
picture, I was like, Okay, then how do I design this next step
13:15
to have those pieces in it, rather than to defaulting to the
13:19
crazy that I've just come out of? And I think many times we do
13:23
default, right? Yeah, lives in this dysfunctional system. And
13:27
then we come out, we start our own businesses, but we
13:29
redesigned what we just left instead. That's all we know.
13:33
That's all we know. Right? Instead of redesigning what we
13:36
truly want, on our own terms.
13:39
Lori Saitz: Yes. And being intentional about
13:41
Christy Metcalf: And being intentional about it. Yep,
13:43
absolutely.
13:43
Lori Saitz: Right. Yes. How? What were the so you sat down
13:50
and said, Alright, this is what I visualize.
13:54
Christy Metcalf: Yep. And then I created a plan. So I spent about
13:59
six months, really putting that plan together. Financially, you
14:03
know, part of my business plan was financially, we didn't have
14:06
kids, we paid all of the bills off except for our house. So we
14:11
were in a good financial place, we set some very low goals, like
14:15
I needed to make $10,000 you know, in the last quarter of the
14:18
year, I actually left and started my business in October.
14:23
And so it was like minimal goals, but still goals that I
14:27
had to work right. So I the whole goal in the beginning was
14:31
to create this balance. And I have to say it was so scary the
14:35
first day that I was out of the corporate job and I was home,
14:39
because that's reality, right everybody I know is working. I
14:42
have I have now just because I hung a shingle out I said this
14:46
is my new job doesn't mean that I actually believed that. In
14:50
fact, I tell the story all the time, of how every quarter I
14:54
would send a tax return in you know, because as business
14:56
owners, we do quarterly taxes and I would sign my signature
15:00
and then it says title and I would put president and for
15:03
years, every quarter, I was afraid that IRS was going to
15:06
call and say what you're really not a president of a company,
15:10
right? So it takes a while to like, step into that skin, new
15:16
role, whatever that new role is, you know, I think about when I
15:19
had kids stepping into that mother role, stepping into that
15:22
wife role stepping into a partner role, or a business
15:27
owner, like it's a transition. It's not just overnight. And
15:31
I've always used this phrase, it was it's in a book called
15:34
managing transitions. And he says, you know, transitions
15:37
begin with endings, and end with new beginnings. And in the
15:42
middle, is all the emotion that we don't stop to realize it's
15:46
going to happen. And I've always remembered that,
15:49
Lori Saitz: yes, so how do you address that emotion because
15:53
again, people are conditioned to not feel. I've had conversations
15:59
with so many of my guests and clients and just people I talked
16:03
to who have actually grown up not been and been the value
16:09
instilled in them was we don't have emotions or we don't
16:13
express them, we stuffed them down and like you were talking
16:16
about, we just keep going on. You didn't say that that was
16:18
part of your family. But but the, you know, nose to the
16:22
grindstone? Don't we don't do feelings?
16:24
Christy Metcalf: That's exactly right. Yeah, my family wasn't
16:26
total opposite of that. But But we did you know, we did push
16:31
through. And I would like to say that today, I am much healthier
16:35
in the way that I handle those emotions and transitions than I
16:38
was in my early 30s when I started my business. But you
16:42
know, one of the things is, there's tremendous power with
16:44
sitting in the discomfort. And we try to fill the discomfort. I
16:49
actually call it buffering, and buffering, I think of it as the
16:52
spinning wheel of death on a computer, right? When you're
16:56
trying to get to a page and it's just buffering. And it's action,
16:59
but it's not good action. And so when we feel uncomfortable, we
17:04
reach for things that make us feel better in the moment,
17:07
right? We shop online, we drink the zone out on Facebook, we veg
17:12
out in front of the TV on Netflix for four hours. Yeah,
17:15
no, and it makes us feel good in the moment. But overall, it's
17:21
not fixing the problem. And I say, you know, have a glass of
17:25
wine, do whatever it is you want to do. But don't get caught in
17:29
the endless loop to where you're living there and not moving
17:32
forward. So now I recognize it, you know, I don't eat the whole
17:36
bag of m&ms when I'm feeling the discomfort i just i i find
17:40
healthier options. Maybe it's just a handful of m&ms versus
17:43
the whole bag. But it's recognizing that and I think you
17:46
know, many times with age comes wisdom, in that I've learned all
17:50
of those skills and coping mechanisms through the years.
17:53
Lori Saitz: Yeah. Do you use any, any tools now? Like
17:57
journaling? or meditation? Or how do you keep yourself
18:00
grounded and focus now?
18:02
Christy Metcalf: Yeah, I do. Both, actually. So I start my
18:05
morning off with journaling. And then I do meditation a couple
18:09
times throughout the day, and it's becoming very centered and
18:12
present is to how I'm feeling at that moment. And, and just
18:18
understanding you know, one of the things I've taught emotional
18:20
intelligence for years, and I've tried to teach both of my young
18:23
children that emotions are not good or bad, they just are
18:27
right, and they're all there to serve a purpose. You know, fear
18:32
is there to protect us. We want to feel fear, anger is there to
18:36
protect us. All of the emotions are there for a reason. And we
18:40
have to allow each of them to surface and then understand
18:43
where they coming from, you know, what thoughts are creating
18:45
those emotions that I'm feeling? And do I want to allow them to
18:49
control me? Or do I want to change the story about them? And
18:54
and how long am I going to let myself sit and stew and wallow
18:59
in the self pity, and then pull myself out of it and go forward?
19:03
Lori Saitz: Right? I just saw something recently to about
19:06
emotions. So you said emotion serving a purpose. Yeah,
19:10
emotions as an indicator.
19:14
Christy Metcalf: Yes, it's our warning signal, right? Actually,
19:17
you know, emotions, start firing off the limbic system in our in
19:22
our reptilian brain, and they're actually warning systems. That's
19:25
why we feel them like our body goes through a natural change
19:29
whenever those feelings come up, you know, and if we are scared
19:33
and self protection, like all of the body emotions, like the
19:36
reptilian brain and the respiratory all go into
19:39
protecting us, so they are there. Now we have as human
19:42
beings, and Evolved Human beings we have to decide, right? Am I
19:45
really in fear and need protection, or is it a false
19:51
fear that's coming up and we have to recognize that right?
19:54
It's no longer I'm running from the saber toothed tiger, but it
19:57
could be stressed and overwhelmed giving Off the same
20:01
indicators,
20:02
Lori Saitz: right? And as is this fear, I'm physically in
20:07
harm's way, or it's just something I don't feel
20:10
comfortable doing. Is it? comfortable? Yeah. And in which
20:15
case, oftentimes, feeling that fear means you have to move
20:21
forward towards the thing. Like that's the indicator is the
20:25
thing you need to do, because that's where your growth is.
20:28
Christy Metcalf: Yeah, yeah. So when I work with clients, I
20:30
actually take them through a whole, we call it the thought
20:32
download model, and they become very in tune to their thoughts
20:36
and their feelings, because your thoughts direct your feelings,
20:38
your feelings, direct your actions, your actions, direct
20:41
your results. And when they feel those warning signals, go off
20:46
those firing emotions, to pause and think about where they're
20:51
coming from. Because they will always give you indicators,
20:55
right? It will always be clues. Why do I feel uncomfortable
20:57
here? Why am I feeling afraid? Why am I feeling angry? And it
21:01
really is, the whole premise is to become so self aware that you
21:05
can, you're not going to mitigate completely the emotion
21:09
being fired off. But you can mitigate how long you stay in
21:12
that emotion.
21:13
Lori Saitz: Right? Yeah, exactly. And recognize whether
21:17
that's truly your own emotion? Or is that coming from someplace
21:21
else that gets passed down to you
21:23
Christy Metcalf: absolutely. peeling back the onion? And is
21:26
this something that I picked up? Because of my childhood? Or is
21:29
this something that's truly I want to hang on to? And you
21:33
know, I've had several times like that, like, one of my
21:36
biggest fears is being embarrassed, you know, like,
21:39
literally looking like an idiot in front of a group of people
21:42
and not looking smart, and embarrassing myself. And so
21:47
there were times earlier on in my career when I was younger,
21:50
that if someone would question, something that I had done or
21:54
said, right, those warning signals would fire off. Oh, my
21:57
gosh, I'm looking stupid right now. And it has nothing to do
22:00
with that. It's just they were asking for clarification.
22:02
Lori Saitz: Right? Yeah, I can completely relate. Yeah. Why are
22:07
you questioning me? Right? Question me? Yeah. And I've had
22:10
the opposite. The opposite happen. I remember, at one of my
22:14
very first jobs, I was asking a lot of questions, I tend to ask
22:18
it, which is why I love doing my podcast, because I get to ask
22:21
questions. But because I'm genuinely curious. Yeah. And
22:26
this woman who was my new boss, would take offense, because she
22:32
thought I was questioning her authority or her ability
22:33
Christy Metcalf: Intellingence,
22:35
Lori Saitz: Yeah, her intelligence. But I genuinely
22:38
just wanted to know, because I was new. I didn't know anything.
22:41
I wanted to know everything.
22:43
Christy Metcalf: Yeah. And those were all about her. Yeah, not
22:46
about you. Right at all. And I, you know, through the years, I
22:49
have learned that I cannot control other people's thoughts,
22:52
what they think about me what they feel about me, that's all
22:55
on them. So I just have to do I have to do me and let them do
22:59
them.
22:59
Lori Saitz: Yes, exactly. Are you you mentioned your your
23:04
children are? I'm wondering, you know, I don't have children. But
23:09
I wonder about this a lot of instilling when we talk about
23:13
instilling values, and then not worrying so much about what
23:16
other people think of you and downloading that to a child's
23:20
brain?
23:22
Christy Metcalf: Yeah, well, I would love to say that the work
23:24
that I've done for the last 20 years has made me a better
23:27
parent. And I waited later in life to become a parent, but you
23:31
have really, you know, they can do them. And you can do you not
23:34
to get so hung up, I see it. Now I have a teenager. And I just
23:38
see if there's this period where you want to fit in, I remember
23:42
that period where you don't want to stand out, you want to blend,
23:46
you want the shoes and the backpack and everything to look
23:48
like everybody else's. And yet, you know, I'm standing over here
23:52
on the sideline saying, Oh, my gosh, please stand out, I want
23:55
you to stand out. And she's like, I'll stand out when the
23:59
time is right. So it really is the the more confidence, you
24:05
know, girls confidence plummets by around age 10. It's at its
24:09
highest point like age 10. And then it starts declining. And I
24:13
really hope that we are changing that for the girls who are
24:17
following us in our footsteps right now. Because I think it's
24:20
a tragedy that they I watched it, I was actually a chaperone.
24:24
And both of my girls camp trips that they do a school in fifth
24:28
grade. And I saw the boys volunteer first and try new
24:32
things and fail quicker. And the girls would sort of hold back
24:36
and just wait. And I asked the teachers, I said, Is this
24:39
indicative of fifth grade? And she said yes, they all agreed,
24:42
yes, it is. And I want my kids to fail early. I want them not
24:47
to be afraid of failure, not to be afraid of embarrassing
24:50
themselves, you know, because failure means you're trying it.
24:54
And the next time and the next time it's gonna get easier.
24:57
Lori Saitz: Yeah, I think it was Sara, Sara Blakely, I heard her
25:01
speak, speak. She's the founder of Spanx for people who don't
25:05
know who she is. But that at her dinner table when she was
25:08
growing up, her dad would always ask, what did you fail at today?
25:13
I love that it was her family, but somewhere, somebody Yeah,
25:17
Christy Metcalf: I'm going to incorporate that. I like that.
25:17
that was the thing.
25:19
Well, and because we are so conditioned not to fail, right?
25:22
It's, it's just a, it's like a sword through our heart to fail
25:28
to even think about the pride and the ego. And yet life is
25:32
about failure. You know, you try. If we think about all the
25:36
greats, the great inventors, Thomas Edison, he failed more
25:39
than he succeeded. How many times have you have to fail in
25:42
order to make it work. And I think that we tend to forget
25:44
that we, even in business, I see new business owners, they want
25:48
to make a video and have it go viral, they want to write one,
25:51
one email and have it sell millions. And it just doesn't
25:55
work that way. It's failure every single day, picking
25:59
yourself back up and doing it again.
26:01
Lori Saitz: It's really to about redefining what that word even
26:05
means, right? Because it doesn't mean it doesn't define you.
26:09
First of all, failure doesn't define you. But also, it just
26:14
means you didn't get the outcome you were expecting. Right?
26:17
Christy Metcalf: And there's next time, right, then I, when I
26:20
left corporate, I actually worked with a coach. And that
26:23
was her question. How would you define failure in this next
26:27
venture? What does failure look like? And I had reached a point
26:30
where I said, failure is not trying. So anything else? And
26:35
then she said, Okay, what would failure really look like,
26:37
though, in your business? And I said, that I couldn't get one
26:40
client like that would that would be what failure look like?
26:44
And she said, Do you think that that's possible? And I said,
26:46
Absolutely not. I mean, somebody would buy for me, I just knew
26:50
that it wasn't possible that I had spent 11 years selling, and
26:54
that I could not get one person to buy something from me. So at
26:57
that point, as soon as I said that, what it meant to me what
27:02
it looked like, it totally diffused it. I was like, I can't
27:06
fail. Yeah, by my own standards, I cannot fail.
27:10
Lori Saitz: Right? And we hear that question a lot of times,
27:12
like, what would you do? If you knew you wouldn't fail? Right?
27:16
If you knew failure wasn't possible, right? But taking a
27:21
step back of what does failure even mean? And so then answering
27:25
that question, like, that just opens up so much possibility,
27:30
right. And that comes back to the whole, like, brings the
27:35
conversation kind of full circle of, of doing what you love
27:39
finding the thing. That is fun, right for you.
27:45
Christy Metcalf: Yeah, I I had someone early on in my career,
27:47
tell me, you know, find something that you love doing so
27:51
much, that you would do it for free, but that you're so good at
27:55
that people want to pay you to do it. And that has always stuck
28:00
with me because it is about having fun, and working with
28:04
clients that, that bring out the best in you and you bring out
28:07
the best in them. And everybody has a group of people that
28:12
they're meant to serve. And when I watch new business owners say,
28:15
Oh, you know, I can sell everybody I'm like, you really
28:17
don't want to, we've all worked with a difficult customer, the
28:21
customer that we dreaded, you know, at the end of the project
28:25
working with and we're like, we will never work with them again.
28:29
Yeah. So it is about enjoying what you do, doing what you love
28:33
what you're good at, not focusing on what you're not good
28:35
at, but focusing on what you are good at. And finding those other
28:39
people that complement you in those areas that you may not
28:42
have a skill set or a strength. And then you're both working in
28:45
your zone of genius,
28:47
Lori Saitz: right? building your team of people that you work
28:51
with and building your tribe of your ideal clients.
28:55
Christy Metcalf: Absolutely. That's the name of the game.
28:58
That is,
29:00
Lori Saitz: before we wrap this up. Tell me what song you listen
29:05
to when you need to get into that happy mood when you need
29:08
that extra boost of energy. And you know, the song that you
29:12
can't sit still too.
29:13
Christy Metcalf: Yep, so the song is I've Got a Feeling by
29:16
Black Eyed Peas. And I crank it and blast it and it works every
29:21
single time.
29:22
Lori Saitz: Good song good song. Yeah, I'm just see. I can see in
29:26
your car right now. windows are rolled up. Right, but you're
29:31
dancing it.
29:32
Christy Metcalf: That's exactly it. My kids know that. That's
29:33
the song. If people if we're having a bad day in the house,
29:37
that is the song that is cranked up full force. And it's amazing
29:42
how it will just turn it around. Right? Because you cannot sit
29:45
still. But some of that music has the ability to do I know it
29:49
really is it. Music has the ability to inspire us to create
29:53
emotion within us. I mean it's amazing.
29:57
Lori Saitz: Yeah, it is. It is So if people want to continue a
30:02
conversation with you how what's the best way for them to get in
30:06
touch with you?
30:07
Christy Metcalf: Yeah, best way is LinkedIn. So I'm always
30:09
hanging out there. And you know, I do work with clients, I do a
30:13
small group programs. I am passionate about helping
30:17
business owners, small business owner solopreneurs, make money
30:21
and get out of their way Get out of their head. And I work in
30:25
small cohorts where it is low content, high action, high
30:30
accountability, to make their financial dreams and their
30:34
business, everything that they want it to be.
30:36
Lori Saitz: Okay, so find you on LinkedIn.
30:38
Christy Metcalf: Yep. Christy Metcalf. Yeah. Find me on
30:41
LinkedIn. My website CEO learning systems. I've got that
30:45
going on right now. And yeah, reach out. Let's have a
30:48
conversation about what the struggles and the pain points
30:52
are. I have 25 years in business, working with fortune
30:55
500 all the way down to nonprofits and solopreneurs.
30:58
There's probably not a question I can't answer or find somebody
31:01
who can answer it for me.
31:03
Lori Saitz: Excellent. Excellent. Well, thank you so
31:05
much for joining. We'll we'll we will put links to all of that in
31:09
the show notes. And thank you so much for joining us today on
31:12
Fine is a 4-Letter Word.
31:14
Christy Metcalf: Thanks, Lori.
31:18
Alright,