Latest / Shed Talk with Kevin Halliday / The Burnout | Gregg Farineau, Founder of Headhunters Canada | Shed Talk Ep. #113

Transcript

The Burnout | Gregg Farineau, Founder of Headhunters Canada | Shed Talk Ep. #113 · Shed Talk with Kevin Halliday

• 0:00
  Kevin Halliday: Today on Shed Talk, I'm joined with Gregg Farineau. Gregg is a Calgarian entrepreneur, a business leader, a recruiter, and the founder of Headhunters Canada. But today's conversation is about more than just business. We're gonna talk about leadership, pressure, burnout, workplace culture, relationships, and what happens when success on the outside doesn't always match what a man is carrying on the inside. Gregg understands this too well.
• 0:44
  But he also understands the realities of building a company, leading a team, and trying to stay healthy, especially when you're this tall. The demands on an entrepreneur is extremely high. And being successful takes its toll. And this is about having honest conversations. It's about resilience and why strong men need to stay in shape and keep that talk going.
• 1:14
  So today, I'm gonna welcome Gregg. Welcome to Shed Talk. Alright, Gregg. Welcome to Shed Talk. Thanks for coming here and enjoying me today.
• 1:24
  I appreciate it.
• 1:24
  Gregg Farineau: Thanks for having me, Kevin. It's an honor.
• 1:26
  Kevin Halliday: You know what? It's it's interesting. I always say this. It's always interesting when you meet someone for the first time. And we had met at a what was it?
• 1:36
  A gala.
• 1:37
  Gregg Farineau: Yeah. Lux auto garage at Jayne and Adam's garage.
• 1:42
  Kevin Halliday: Yeah.
• 1:42
  Gregg Farineau: You're doing your keynote things.
• 1:44
  Kevin Halliday: And here's That's right. And here's a crazy thing. Here's a guy how tall are you?
• 1:49
  Gregg Farineau: Officially six eleven and an eighth of an inch.
• 1:54
  Kevin Halliday: Like, when you look being that tall, everybody looks literally up to you. And when they look up to you and they see this massive man, here he is, he's got his world together. He's doing this because you stand out in a crowd. You're social media, you stand out. You're an entrepreneur.
• 2:14
  K? You you you do a lot of things, and people expect a lot from you. And they look up to you. How are the pressures of that? Because especially being that tall, because everybody would come up to you like fights as men, and then they look at you and they go, oh yeah, I can take them or whatever.
• 2:32
  What kind of experiences have you had through your life?
• 2:35
  Gregg Farineau: That's a really good question. I guess we could start at the beginning. I mean, I I grew up in Europe and I moved to Canada when I was young, when I was seven. Bounced around a lot of schools before I actually dropped out of high school. And so, you know, coming to a new country, being that young and and literally jumping around schools every single year was exceptionally difficult and, you know, led to a lot of social anxiety, you know, going into my teens and developed really bad acne and started getting tall obviously in junior high and then into high school.
• 3:07
  I think in junior high, I was six'two in grade nine and then grade 10, six'six, grew another three, four inches in high school. And really early on, was difficult for me to really embrace. I didn't know how to accept who I was and show up as this, you know, almost larger than life person. Right? And dealing with that was was pretty difficult and it led me to, you know, addiction issues early on because I just didn't know how else to cope with all the attention I was getting growing up and also simultaneously trying to fit in and trying to make friends and bouncing around all these schools.
• 3:46
  So just it was just a perfect storm for, you know, for total social chaos, I guess, and anxiety to really ramp up. And so the only thing I knew how to do or how to cope with everything was just, you know, drugs and alcohol. And that was, you know, what I dealt with early on. And it really wasn't until this was probably early thirties, I started to really start to lean into who I was and really accept who I am and and show up in the world as, you know, my genuine self, which really was a like kind of the lack of a better expression of coming out party, but I had heard a story on a really famous podcasters podcast about he was talking about he was this is one of the world's biggest celebrities and about how humble he is and I'm in no way trying to compare myself to a celebrity, but I do know that the type of attention, you know, that a celebrity would get because this is the type of attention I get, it's impossible for people not to stare at me when I walk into a room. Right?
• 4:52
  I mean, I'm a giraffe. Right? Like, I walk in. It's like everyone, you know and so anyways, this podcast was telling a story about this guy who's literally his top five most famous people in the world and how humble he is. And it was very interesting because this was a pivotal time in my life when I heard this story, and I was like, well, if he can do that constantly all day, every day, and show up like this and be humble.
• 5:18
  And the story that that was that was told on this podcast was that he was at an MMA fight and he was talking to a prizefighter in his very intimate one on one conversation, you know, not to be bothered, like no one's gonna interject between two people talking usually. Right? You just everyone has social a certain level of social intelligence. And this super fan just came right up between them, like, rudely interjected and starts taking a selfie of this movie star. Right?
• 5:46
  And a lot of people would get pissed off with that. Right? And he and this is like, right, this is this is about ten years ago, like I said, and so he's in the, you know, his prime and and whatnot and has been dealing with this for so long. And he took the guy's phone, shook his hand, big smile, selfie, asked him a couple questions about himself, and then continued on with the conversation. And I was like, you know what?
• 6:08
  Instead of me just telling people how tall I am when they ask and then just kinda turning my back because I just early on didn't know how to, you know, just didn't know how to show up and be my authentic self. And then I was like, you know what, I'm gonna take a page out of this guy's book and I'm gonna start doing that. I'm gonna start getting better every day at doing that and just getting to using it as an opportunity to get to know somebody, ask them questions about themself about themselves, and just be generally curious in others. Right? And not just leave the conversation dead when there's like, my god, how tall are you?
• 6:42
  And I tell them and then my old the old me would just turn around and like I'm like half awkward and socially anxious. Right? And and now it's just, you know, it's turned into something so wonderful that my friends get more pissed that that they they get super my friends get annoyed when people come up to me. I don't get annoyed anymore.
• 7:02
  Kevin Halliday: And it's and it's interesting because your social media, and I know when you're on it, all of sudden there you are, there's a guy there and they come up to your armpit. Everyone's heads are up to their armpit and you see it, and then yep, there he is, and then you're out there and you're making it. Making contacts, making connections, and then and then making it happen. Because here you are at six huge. K?
• 7:25
  And you're not lanky. You're built. You work make sure your mental health and I say mental health since straight is is in great shape because you're looking after your body. But a lot of people say, okay. Here you are.
• 7:38
  You're looking after yourself. You got things happening, but and you're an entrepreneur, you're successful in what you're doing, but there's still a red demon in there.
• 7:46
  Gregg Farineau: Mhmm.
• 7:47
  Kevin Halliday: What is that?
• 7:50
  Gregg Farineau: Yeah. That's I think and I mean, by red demon, if you still if you if if what I think, you know, what you're saying is, you know, just in terms of the addiction stuff. Right?
• 8:03
  Kevin Halliday: Addiction. Could you mention that you had addiction? Well, here's a guy that has it all together, then all of sudden
• 8:07
  Gregg Farineau: I mean, that's debatable.
• 8:08
  Kevin Halliday: Oh, no. And that's your and that's everyone's interpretation, because they see you, okay? You you took that podcast, you turned it around and said, no, I'm gonna take it for good. Okay? The guy comes up and says, you're six foot eight and Six eleven.
• 8:23
  Six eleven. Whatever. Okay. Foot one, but but six eleven. And then you turn it around on him and say, yeah, no, that's great.
• 8:30
  And then and you're interjecting with him. The guy's looking, wow, I would love to be that. I would love to have play basketball. Or man, what you're doing. But don't they don't realize that red demon that's inside of you that all of a sudden, that mental health issue that you had to go through.
• 8:44
  Gregg Farineau: Mhmm.
• 8:44
  Kevin Halliday: And and struggled with. Yeah. And and looking good on the outside, but on the inside and you still and you work out, and people still have that.
• 8:55
  Gregg Farineau: Yeah. No. Absolutely. It's yeah. I mean, you know, I I always I tell people this all the time.
• 9:02
  If if somebody says they have their shit together, they're Yeah. Yeah. Their stuff together, they're full of stuff. Right? Yeah.
• 9:08
  And so, you know, appearances are one thing, and I think that's something that a lot of people just they have preconceived notions about me. They they they may or they may not. Right? I I would assume that there's a lot of people that do and there's probably some that don't. But, you know, appearances are one thing, but we all behind the scenes are all struggling with something Mhmm.
• 9:29
  Here and there, this, that, the other thing, stress at work, relationships, you know, personal stuff, you know, social anxiety, whatever the case, general anxiety, whatever the case may be, everyone is struggling at some point with something. Nobody's life is perfect, right? And I'm no exception to that either. I'm just as flawed as as the next human, right? And I had a lot of one of my flaws was perfectionism and, you know, still still struggle with that.
• 9:53
  Not as much as I used to. I just embraced that it's like, look, like things aren't gonna be perfect every day. Right? Like and so it's just when when somebody I think a lot of times when people see me, there's like, oh, he just he seems to be pretty well put together and, you know, he's tall and he might work out and whatever. And but, you know, behind the scenes and inside, there's there's still things going on, there's still battles going on and things that I have to struggle with just like you do, just like every your son does, just like everybody else does.
• 10:24
  Right? And so that's something that I think a lot of people don't really acknowledge or understand on, you know, face value when when meeting me, I guess, because it's just, oh my goodness, like all Right. Poly's are just losing their mind and Right?
• 10:39
  Kevin Halliday: So you had mentioned a while ago and we talked about stuff before and what is burnout? Because a lot of people say, man, I work so hard, I'm burnt out. Is it a buzzword? Is burnout a buzzword? And and what is a what is truly a burnout or being burnt out?
• 10:57
  Gregg Farineau: I can't speak for everybody. I can speak for myself. Happy to I'll I'll tell my story as I delivered a keynote for the first time, I think it was about four months ago. The irony of this is I was I burnt out running an agency for professional speakers representing all these speakers do TED Talks. Obviously, you weren't on our roster, we'd love to have you.
• 11:17
  But and then I was asked to deliver because I had to leave the agency and I was I was it was literally the darkest time of my life. And then I just came in a situation where this business conference, they just asked me to deliver a keynote on burnout from running an agency for professional speakers. So kind of ironic how things come full circle. But my story was I'll summarize it summarize it as quick as I can, but essentially, I started with one of my best friends running this agency. He took over from his dad.
• 11:46
  I was at the tail end of a 20 x in a decade. Drinking through the fire hose was an understatement and this was a a brand new career path. It was essentially corporate Gregg's first first at bat. And I had a lot of emotional skin in the game. It was my best friend's company.
• 12:03
  I knew it my whole life, thirty plus years. Got on board, I was able to be a digital nomad, so this was exciting. I'm like, well, now I can travel the world and work. I'm like, this is amazing. Go back to Europe and go wherever I want and I can I can work, which I kind of romanticized for, you know, the the previous couple years before getting on board in in between careers, basketball and restaurants, got out of that and was looking for what's next?
• 12:25
  So jumped in with both feet. Was very eager, had a lot of emotional skin in the game. I wanted to do well. I wanted the agency to do well. I wanted my friend to do well, obviously.
• 12:35
  And so I was putting in more and more effort, longer and longer hours in front of the screen. And then I had a couple warning signs. This was a this was a few years in, and I ignored them. And I was at this stage, was working about fifteen hours a day, six days a week glued to the screen. I mean, I was I would come in to work every day with about a 100 to a 150 emails, high level, you know, governments, First Nations, whatever the whoever we were working with and booking all these speakers doing about a 140 deals a month plus.
• 13:11
  And the first warning sign was I started just getting, you know, agitated and a little bit of blurred vision and some headaches. And I didn't think too much of didn't think too much of it. So I was, okay, you know, if I just because I'm, you know, I'm not immune to to hard work. I mean, I, you know, played basketball for a living, had a short career, it wasn't that wasn't that great, but I still went in the trenches and was, you know, puke practices and running hills and leg days till you can't walk and shooting 500 shots a day, you know, all these things and so I my mentality was essentially, well, you can just, you know, do the same with your brain. If you just keep pushing through, the brain will just become resilient like your muscles.
• 13:56
  You know, you'll just callous the brain and you'll just you'll just be able to overcome and you'll just be able to to work longer and longer like you'd be able to lift more and more and run further and further and whatnot and that's couldn't be further from the truth. It's not it's not how it works. And so this week, I started to get those symptoms, agitation, blurred vision, headaches, didn't think too much of it, took the weekend off, came back to work, was not feeling great, powered myself through the week, got to Thursday. And Thursday night, I went to bed. I was not feeling good, pretty wobbly, you know, starting to get ang more anxiety buildup and headaches, and the symptoms started to increase a little bit.
• 14:41
  And then that night, I went to bed and I woke up in the middle of the night, and I was extremely nauseous. I don't know how I didn't puke. And I had a pounding headache, very blurred vision, riddled with anxiety. And I didn't know what was happening, but I was I obviously knew this was this was from work, and I was like, okay. I better just take the next three days off.
• 15:03
  So Friday, Saturday, Sunday. This was a critical mistake. I could not like, this was the I mean, looking back, it's, you know, that's obviously hindsight's always twenty twenty, but I took the weekend off, came back on Monday. I powered through the week. It was it was pretty tough.
• 15:20
  And then that Friday, my entire world just collapsed in a space of one minute. Sixty seconds, I kid you not. I was working away. Again, these symptoms started increasing, and it was 2PM on a Friday at the February 2024. And all of a sudden, I was and I I was at this stage, I was essentially forcing myself to just keep powering through emails and just fighting this agitation, this anxiety.
• 15:47
  And then literally in one minute, it it felt like it was the scariest thing I've probably ever experienced. It felt like I was placed in just another realm of consciousness that I had never experienced. And immediately, my heart started palpitating every two seconds, very blurred vision and I I just I let go of the mouse and walked away from the computer instantly. And that that moment led to an overnight in the hospital, heart issues. I had to get the full blood panel, full gauntlet of tests, checking for heart attacks, stroke, absolutely everything, blood oxygen, ECG, did my entire blood panel, x rays, was there till six in the morning and I had to walk away from my my role with the company immediately, and I was I just knew that this was the beginning of what was turned out to be probably fourteen months of hell.
• 16:43
  And so six months, for about six ish months after that, it was just constant suicidal thoughts every single day from the moment I woke up till the moment I went to bed. And I never I never tried, but it was caused the I was just I could not escape them. And I wasn't trying to force them out of my head because obviously that's gonna do the opposite. But it was it was very, very challenging and I just, you know, I tried to just focus on just going to the gym and, you know, talking to family and friends and just getting through and knowing that one day this will get better. But it it it lasted for a while and it was it was super tough.
• 17:23
  The one of the craziest things that happened was that that literally the next day after I got out of the hospital, I started I started feeling very agitated looking at my phone for short amounts of time. Like, I'm talking like less than two minutes. And I was like, what the hell? So I had to stay off my phone, and then I also noticed I couldn't look at any TV anywhere no matter what was on it. And this for two minutes a day happened for better part of six months after after that that one right moment of collapse when when burnout hit.
• 17:56
  And so my subconscious mind was obviously associating screens with high stress, burnout, disruption, you know, all these things that all these emotions I'd gone through. So thanks to EMDR, I have to mention this because EMDR therapy saved my life. It was so powerful and, you know, I did it twice a month for six months and really unpacked everything going back to childhood, but the main focus in the beginning was obviously to get me better so I could get back to doing something because obviously, you know, you have to make a you have to make a living.
• 18:28
  Kevin Halliday: So let's let's let's let's dive a little bit about that Sure. EMDR. Yeah. Explain it a little bit better like so I understand it a little more.
• 18:34
  Gregg Farineau: So EMDR stands for eye movement desensitization and reprocessing. So EMDR therapy was created by I can't remember who, but there's been a bunch of books written on it. Your viewers can obviously, you know, just type in EMDR and they can find a bunch of information on it. But in the in the mid seventies for soldiers specifically coming back from this is what I read anyways, coming back from Vietnam. And so they were coming back and obviously soldiers with PTSD and having these lingering effects and not sleeping and stress and depression, anxiety, everything else.
• 19:08
  And they were doing, you know, finding that these soldiers, these veterans were having multiple years of traditional therapy was really not helping their cause, was really not diminishing these symptoms of PTSD. And so they developed EMDR, and essentially just to dumb it down for everybody, obviously, there's more to unpack here, but it all it is is really bilateral eye movements, keeping your your head perfectly still. You follow the therapist's fingers back and forth for repetitions of anywhere between 30 to 50 in between traumatic thought processes. And then so people can obviously look this up as well, but there is a lot of information on bilateral eye movement just from a primitive standpoint in helping us decrease anxiety because we understand that the the prey is not there, the saber tooth tiger isn't isn't there. Right?
• 19:59
  So so they developed EMDR in the seventies and they found that these soldiers that were doing like consecutive years, many years of traditional psychotherapy were finding results at an insane rate by doing as little as three to four one hour sessions of EMDR, their PTSD would almost instantly vanish, never to return. And so you're just something happens when you do these eye movements in between these traumatic events that you've dealt with in your life, and you're just able to to process things so that they don't affect you in present day. It's not like you forget about them. That's not what it is. You just your your mind, your your subconscious mind, your conscious mind just understands that that was in the past and it doesn't need to affect me in present day, so it doesn't.
• 20:51
  Right? And so that's really what it was. And within I think it was four one hour sessions, I found myself because I just started the business at this time, and I was a little apprehensive because I was like, getting back on the screens. And by this this time, my tolerance was up to about half an hour, forty forty minutes, light filled room, screen in night mode, dimmed all the way down, reading glasses on. Like, it's crazy.
• 21:17
  Like, I laugh about it now. You know? It the worst thing that happened to me, but ended up being the best thing because, you know, I'm very fortunate to be where I am now and and and, in running this business. But, yeah, it's, it it was about four sessions and all of a sudden, I was working in front of the computer for three hours.
• 21:33
  Kevin Halliday: So going into as an entrepreneur. Mhmm. K. You're looking at being an entrepreneur, going into it on that knowing that you could have a trigger. When I mean trigger, of a sudden watching screens, here it is now.
• 21:43
  Because you know you're gonna be on the computer. Mhmm. And then all of a sudden the suicide. Mhmm. Okay.
• 21:48
  Because you were talking about, not that you did suicide because you're still here. Yeah. Yeah. But the actual the act of you're you kept talking about suicide and wanting to do it but not do it. Mhmm.
• 21:59
  And then you said the EMT, that actually helped out? Yeah. The stop on the stop on the suicide part as well.
• 22:06
  Gregg Farineau: I think the suicidal thoughts started dissipating on their own before therapy. Yeah. They started dissipating on their own before therapy. Mean, they they were still there. I I can't lie and say that they just like went away after six months.
• 22:17
  But the main focus, like the thing that was bothering me the most was the screens. That's what I was very terrified of, and that was that was a genuine worry because nowadays, like if you don't if you can't be in front of a screen to some capacity, I mean, what are you gonna do?
• 22:31
  Kevin Halliday: From your experience, have you actually talked to other guys that yours your trigger for burnout, it was the screen? No. What other what other triggers that other people would have that they had said? Because I only know this one and we talked true burnout. Mhmm.
• 22:45
  You brought it up as on the screen side and I'm going, I'd never heard I I you hear the impression, it's kinda like buzzwords. Here's a bunch of buzzwords. Yeah. Right? Burnout, oh, you know what?
• 22:54
  Mental health, some people use that as a buzzword as if you went back ten, fifteen years ago, mental health was never ever used. Now mental health is used all the time. Now is it used too much? It's like the younger generation now talk about, oh, I have ADHD and but they're not diagnosed. Well, yeah, but I'm I'm on that spectrum.
• 23:14
  It's like every kid has to have ADHD now. So Yeah. Becomes, here's Burnout. Was that a is that a buzzword? I don't
• 23:24
  Gregg Farineau: And I'm It's really hard for me to say. I feel like it's it could be subjective. I don't think it is. I mean, not from what I went through Yeah. There's just no way.
• 23:35
  Like, that was a total collapse in in one minute. It was terrifying. This wasn't like, okay, we can we can take the previous two weeks and obviously the the warning signs and everything else, but like, when my heart started skipping beats for hours every two seconds, that is terrifying. That is not normal. Like, something happened there.
• 23:54
  Kevin Halliday: What did the so what did the doctor say? It it was actual burnout versus, oh, you have a fib or yeah, I'm using that analogy. Yeah. Like they're going, holy crow.
• 24:02
  Gregg Farineau: Yeah. Because I know you you battle with a fib, right? Correct.
• 24:06
  Kevin Halliday: Yeah. And then high lows and pills are a whole different story there. That becomes when you're looking at it, here you are in the burnout state, your heart's like this, how do you get yourself down to calm down? Like you go in in there and you have to calm your whole body, your nervous system down. Calm the nervous system down to be present at the moment.
• 24:27
  Gregg Farineau: Mhmm. So to answer your first question, the doctor, when they came in after I did the gauntlet of tests, said, look, everything is great. Like, nothing is wrong. Like, everything came back negative. We do see that your heart skipping beats every literally every two seconds.
• 24:43
  Like, this this is like was horrifying because, like, is it just gonna stop on the next time that it does that? Is what is what I was thinking the whole time. So I was just compounding the anxiety of the situation that I was already dealing with. And then and then what was this? The second part we were talking about?
• 25:04
  Kevin Halliday: Which part? Oh, for the anxiety part as in okay. So calming your your nervous system down.
• 25:09
  Gregg Farineau: Yeah. Right. So how do I calm my nervous system? So so luckily or or lack of a better word, I had I had found rhythmic breathing, so a lot of people or your listeners will know who Wim is. So Wim Hof, I started doing his breathing every I've done it every day since when was it?
• 25:26
  01/10/2020. So right before the pandemic hit, and that was another rock bottom in the pandemic, which we could talk about another day. But so I started doing his breathing then and that really puts you into parasympathetic and calms your nervous system. And because of the things I've gone through the pandemic, you know, taking ashwagandha, magnesium, L theanine, doing this breathing, cold plunges, sauna, I'm a big cold plunge and sauna guy as well. And so, you know, those things definitely do help.
• 25:56
  And so I was able to mitigate at least some of the the physical symptoms of burnout, the anxiety, the stress, the depression, you know, these it's not to say that it gets rid of the thoughts, but when your body starts going in as parasympathetic, essentially what happens is that your your physical body does not react to what's going on in the mind. Right? And so this was a really good tool for me, like I was able to continue doing these breathing and then I subsequently found others because, you know, as you know, you start diving into one thing, then all of a sudden you find two other things that are similar and they're like, oh, let's just try these. Right? So I tried the Buteyko breathing, it was wonderful, absolutely amazing Buteyko.
• 26:41
  And then very recently, found another one that was because I was I don't know about how nervous you were when you first did your keynotes, a keynote.
• 26:49
  Kevin Halliday: Oh, yeah.
• 26:50
  Gregg Farineau: I got like I was terrified. Yeah. Because driving to this thing, it's a 100 people at this conference. I'm like, I don't care how big and strong I am. I'm like, this is ins and I practiced it 24 times in thirty days.
• 27:01
  I practiced my keynote. So I had it dialed, and I was as prepared as you essentially could be practicing it once a day. And I found this breathing technique that the Navy SEALs use that put you in parasympathetic in in a very short amount of time. And I started doing it, like, three days before my keynote. And so it literally takes five minutes.
• 27:23
  And so I I got up on stage and I had done it in the car in the parking lot before I went into this conference. And I got up on stage, my mind was racing like the holy s h one t and my body wasn't reacting. Was totally calm.
• 27:41
  Kevin Halliday: So let's let let's let's go with Eric. Let's do a demo of that.
• 27:45
  Gregg Farineau: Yeah. It's super it's crazy. You know, that's
• 27:47
  Kevin Halliday: crazy with it. But yeah, no, but I'm Yeah.
• 27:49
  Gregg Farineau: I'll I'll just do the first round a little bit.
• 27:51
  Kevin Halliday: Because everyone's asking. Seconds. Yeah. Because everyone's gonna be asking
• 27:53
  Gregg Farineau: Everyone's gonna
• 27:54
  Kevin Halliday: is it? What is it? So if you're sitting there and you're listening to this, you're gonna go through it Yep. And all of a sudden, what does it look like? What's that one thing that you can do to calm your nerve?
• 28:02
  Just put yourself in a Yeah. A state of just Parasympathetic.
• 28:08
  Gregg Farineau: Yeah. Just parasympathetic. So all you do is you just get in a nice relaxed position either sitting or lying down. Okay. And then you just I'm just gonna do one round, and then when I stop, then I'll I'll let you know and then you do it six times.
• 28:20
  You can maybe do it more if you want, but six times I apparently is the magic numbers as the Navy SEALs do apparently when they're in combat and whatnot. So all you do, you get yourself nice and relaxed. I like to do a couple deep breaths, three of them, maybe a low on the on the exhale, and then you just start and you just breathe in four seconds through the nose. So you go hold for four at the top. And then on the exhale, go through your two front teeth for as long as you can up to thirty seconds, so anywhere between twenty and thirty seconds, you're gonna then when your lungs are empty at the bottom, hold for four seconds at the bottom.
• 29:06
  Repeat process. That's all you do. Six times. Six times. In five minutes, watch what happens.
• 29:13
  It's it's crazy. Like, I couldn't believe how, like, it was like I could not be knocked off center, no matter how much my mind was racing. I I got up on stage, did delivered my keynote, wasn't stumbling my words, wasn't talking too quick, And at the end, it was crazy. I looked down, I was wearing a white shirt, which is probably Yeah. Not what I should have done if I knew I was gonna be nervous right here to wear a black shirt.
• 29:36
  But anyways, and or no, mean, not that that even matters, but I, after I was done my keynote, I was holding the mic in in my right hand the whole time, and I let go of the mic, and there was barely any sweat on the microphone. And I wasn't sweating through my shirt, my hands weren't sweaty, I wasn't sweating, nothing. But my mind when I got up on stage, I was like it was like, holy four letter words left and right. This is insane. I'm looking at a 100 people.
• 30:07
  I mean, you know. Right? Yeah. Anybody who's done a keynote public speaking for the first time, what do they say? People are more terrified than that than dying.
• 30:15
  Right? And then everyone in the room was like, you know, I'm not trying to say that I was, you know, I'm a world class keynote speaker because I'm certainly not. But my friends are like, dude, great job, man.
• 30:23
  Kevin Halliday: Didn't And and the greatest thing, you did it. And then then the bottom line is it's it's like you're talking about building calluses in your head. And here you're building calluses in your head, your mind, but actually it gets further from the truth. Mhmm. K?
• 30:34
  Yes. We're self aware. And then all of a sudden when your body you put your body through it that you can calm your mind down. Yep. And then all of a sudden here you are Yep.
• 30:45
  Centered. You're now dialed in, plugged in, and calm. And then people, when you talk about what you're doing and what you did is how many people, that anxiety and I had Jamie on the other day and he was talking about fear, it only lasts you fifteen seconds. Or an emotion's only there for fifteen seconds. Here's your emotion right now.
• 31:06
  There, you've calmed yourself down. So if you're in a car and you're anxiety gonna do a go for a job interview or anything that you're feeling that thing, there's that breathing just Exactly. Yeah. Now, here you are. Did your calm breathing.
• 31:22
  You're in the entrepreneurship. And the struggle's high, lows, because we're all in it. One day we're good, one day we're bad, one day we're And it's not about money because sure, the money you have today is The day you think you have money is the day you lost your money. Mhmm. And the day you lost your money is the day you get it.
• 31:38
  We're up, we're down, I and it's like
• 31:40
  Gregg Farineau: like that.
• 31:40
  Kevin Halliday: It's just like, oh, man, how do how do I feel this? And then Yeah. Then the anxiety hits in, depression hits in, it's like, alright, I gotta visualize my day, I gotta be good with this, I get, okay, why? We're humans. We we we love conflict.
• 31:55
  Yeah. So here you are and you were mentioning just before we got on air and we were talking about this as the entrepreneur. Yeah. And some people just wanna get out of it and say, I don't I can't handle this anymore. Or do I go back into it?
• 32:07
  So tell me your experience with that.
• 32:09
  Gregg Farineau: Man, it's yeah. The first time, 40 well, I guess I was 41 when we started the business. And it's in the beginning, at least this is my experience. Right? In the beginning, I'm very excited.
• 32:21
  This is an opportunity. Okay. Let's get out there. Let's start networking and get into rooms and right? As a as a headhunter slash recruiter, I mean, you know, you know that most people are hiring and it's something like 80 something percent of businesses are gonna use a recruiter at some point.
• 32:35
  So I have these insane expectations in the beginning. I'm like, oh, almost everybody I talk to has a high probability of being a client, which I was totally out to lunch, right, just being naive and and what and whatnot for first at bat. And which is all good, but the the first year was a lot of emotional it's an emotional roller coaster of just up and downs of just getting excited about potential business, and then, then it falls through, and then you're excited, and then right? So that was the first year was essentially a lot of that. And then year two oh, and I I I should tell your viewers to tell you as well.
• 33:10
  I through burnout, I had a reasonable nest egg by all intents and purposes, and that went to basically zero. I had less than $5 in my bank account. I got, like, 30 some $3,200 or something right when we got our first check from our first clients. So I was I was running on fumes. And so anyway, so then, you know, year two is now I've you know, it was probably two or three weeks ago.
• 33:41
  I had a really rough patch about two or three days. I wasn't sleeping and I was as we a lot of us do, and I I'm sure a lot of people can can sympathize with this, but I catastrophize. I did catastrophize a lot and just projecting into the future what ifs. Right? And the amount of times in my life that the worst case scenario has actually come to fruition by catastrophizing and projecting into the future is literally zero.
• 34:09
  It's never happened. Right? And so year two has been it was the navigating the uncertainty, cause we're in a little bit of a lull, like a little bit of a tough spot, you know, clients a couple days late on the payments. I'm like, you know, and we're essentially because it's second year of business, we're not printing money, you know, it'll it'll come. But so anyway, so navigating the uncertainty, and then I wasn't sleeping for a few days.
• 34:34
  And I'm like, hey, well, almost every entrepreneur is struggling with this, and this is probably the biggest challenge for every entrepreneur is uncertainty. And how do you navigate these waves? Right? And so I did a did a deep dive, looked inwards. You know, I'm a big fan of of the stoics, Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius.
• 34:54
  These guys were incredible philosophers, you know, especially for two thousand years ago and and just the level of knowledge, calmness, stoicism that they that they possess, especially Marcus Aurelius, emperor of Rome, the most powerful man in the world. And obviously, I don't think anyone was supposed to get his journal that he left behind, but that turned into meditations and obviously, we now all know who he is, largely because of that. And so in these moments where I was, you know, I'm not sleeping for a few days and whatever, like I'm too far in now, like I'm not I'm not going back. Right? And a really good friend of mine, Adam, you know, something that he's he's always in my head.
• 35:36
  He's he's a little bit older than me, was very successful, has a crazy story, and he'd he'd always say just keep showing up. You know, you just gotta keep showing up. You can't bet against him or her that just keeps showing up because that person is gonna win. You just keep showing up. So it's constantly in my head.
• 35:54
  So I'm like, yeah, obviously, I'm not quitting, but how do I navigate uncertainty? And how do I get out of my own way? Because at the end of the day, really, and this is a lot of what the stoics say, the situation is not what's causing you distress, depression, whatever negative emotion is going along with what you think that situation is deal is giving you, it's not the situation. It's how you perceive the situation, and it's your reaction to the situation that is causing that. It's not the situation.
• 36:25
  Right? And so anyways, you know, I did a little bit of a, you know, internal deep dive here and understood that, you know what, I need to bring the mind back, not forcefully from and catch it right away, so have the awareness of the catastrophizing and the projecting into the future, understand that that's not gonna serve me at all. It does absolutely nothing. And the pain that we most of us deal with almost like overwhelmingly is all self inflicted from thinking. And I got that from Eckhart Tolle.
• 36:57
  I watched a really good video. I'm sure everybody knows who he is, but he was talking about that. He's like, the the pain is always coming from the mind. The mind is the pain. And so when you understand this, that it's just you like, you have control over this.
• 37:12
  The only thing we all have control over is our mind. So I was like, you know, I did I was quite a deep dive for three days here trying to figure this out. And then finally, I was like, no, you know what? Nothing ever has ever existed other than the present moment. We're constantly living in a perpetual state of right now.
• 37:30
  And so the the past doesn't exist, the future doesn't exist, we're just constantly right now all the time. So it's just about bringing my attention from projecting into the future or going back into the past, and just bringing it back to the present moment and focusing on what's right in front of me, and that is the only thing that's important is today, and what's right in front of me and that's it, and that's what I'm gonna focus on. I'm just gonna wake up, keep showing up, focus on what's right in front of me every single day, and I know things will work out if I do that because this whole projecting thing and catastrophizing is only actually decreasing probably the rate at which success will come. But success is also a journey, it's not a destination. Right?
• 38:10
  And so like my one of my my mentors that he doesn't know what he is, but David Goggins. Right? We all know who Goggins is. Guy's an absolute beauty. We actually booked him for an event at the when I was running the agency, previous agency with my friend.
• 38:23
  And, you know, I love one of his quotes, there's no finish line. You're you're never done. You you can never just like yeah, you might have some vacations here and there, but just in terms of the game of life, there is no finish line. Like, do you go to the gym for for one year and you're like, k, we're finished? And then you just stop going to the gym.
• 38:43
  Kevin Halliday: And and and a lot of people get into that. They said, oh, hey, I made it. Oh, right. Here I'm an entrepreneur. I just made my millions in there and then it's next thing you know.
• 38:50
  No, you didn't. The day you the day you got it is the day you lost it, the day and we talk about that all the time because you always have to be striving, you have to change. Yeah. And a lot of people, as as entrepreneurs, you either grow or you die. You can never stay the same.
• 39:06
  You may go down, you'll have peaks and valleys. Yep. Yes, that's what it's about. But you're never on a steady sure, you'll have a hockey stick going there. Mhmm.
• 39:15
  So you're on extreme growth mode. But be prepared for those valleys and then the peaks and valleys and being able to say, okay, am I alright living in the time and in the presence of right now? I'm gonna live today where I am where where I am because there's highs, oh man, that's the greatest sale I ever ever did, the greatest thing I ever did, then your extreme lows. The key of all of this and everything we do is to make sure that we can stay right in the middle. Not too high cause we don't want have an adrenaline rush, then all of a sudden the crash is far greater.
• 39:48
  Okay? And you don't want to be down here all the time doom and gloom like you're talking about because you get guys that are really excited, high, they're high level, they're high peak, you can't sustain that. Mhmm. So what's that middle part?
• 39:58
  Gregg Farineau: So is that your main strategy when you dealt with all this as a younger entrepreneur was just staying even keel?
• 40:04
  Kevin Halliday: As best you can because we I would use the advantage the advantage point that I would say, okay, is anchoring. So all of a sudden you had the greatest sale in the world, the greatest thing that ever happened. Oh my god, do I ever feel great? I was dealing with a lady the other day, and she had the greatest success she ever had. And it's and it's the same philosophy that I that I do believe in is that all of a sudden you feel this great emotion, that feeling.
• 40:28
  Anchor it. Grab your finger and what does it feel like? Feel feel what it actually feels like to succeed. What did that success feel like? How did your skin feel?
• 40:37
  Man, I feel so good right now. Okay. How do I feel? My breathing is breathing's good. I feel good.
• 40:44
  Oh, yeah. I feel great. My day, it's visualized. You feel good. Now, remember that feeling.
• 40:50
  Anchor it so when you look at your watch, you look at something and feel it. Now, the next time you feel crappy, the worst you've ever felt, you're at the lowest point, don't numb it. Don't try to avoid, I gotta get out of this. Feel it. Mhmm.
• 41:03
  And go, oh, this is what it feels like to feel really crappy. Oh, I feel sick to my stomach. I got anxiety. I got this. Then all of a sudden, alright, I know I don't need to be here.
• 41:12
  What does that mean? Go back to the visualization of that time and that place, that moment that you remember where you felt your greatest.
• 41:19
  Gregg Farineau: Mhmm.
• 41:20
  Kevin Halliday: And then that will pull you back out of it, and that just actually pulls you out, and it puts you in the even keel. You don't want to be too high. You're like, oh, vibrating. You're going, that was great. Okay.
• 41:29
  Let's bring it down. Because by morning, you're exhausted. It's like a hangover. Mhmm. If you're working high, you got you you went to an event.
• 41:36
  People go to an event, they're they're clicking. They're getting. They're they're they're They're making things happen. Social media's hitting. Then all of a sudden, the next day, they're exhausted.
• 41:45
  It's like, man, I feel like I just got run over by a bus. Well, that endorphin level's just, you crash. So you've got to keep that even still. So it's, yes, it's making sure, staying in that visualizing the top Mhmm. Visualizing the bottom, and staying right center.
• 42:00
  Gregg Farineau: Mhmm.
• 42:00
  Kevin Halliday: And that's that's the biggest my experience is key is to stay within that. Mhmm. Know when you're high, know when you're low, and then be consistent and always be showing up.
• 42:11
  Gregg Farineau: I really I really appreciate you saying that. Think it just kinda clicked with me right now. I don't know if, you know, you're into the woo woo. Some people think it's woo woo manifesting, whatever, but that, what you said right there, being in the middle and going back to what, you know, the feeling that you had when you were feeling good in that certain moment when you signed this client or you got this invoice, whatever the case may be, that brings you back into a different state of vibration. Right?
• 42:38
  And so when you're in these these especially the lower states, it's impeding what you want to happen. Right? And what you're trying to get and if you're in a state of of allowing and that you've you've already had it, which is the state where you're talking about going back to to a previous feeling where you felt good, that is a state of not needing, not wanting, you're already you're you're there. Right? Like if you already had everything, your wildest dreams, you wouldn't be trying to get them.
• 43:05
  Right? And it's kinda that sounds like that's kinda the the sweet spot to be in and and I I like what you said. Mhmm. That's a good mindset.
• 43:13
  Kevin Halliday: And eating yourself out of the negative and and going into that catastrophe. Is it really gonna happen? No. If it does happen, no. Everyone is in trouble.
• 43:20
  COVID is an example. People looked at COVID. Oh, it's the worst thing. But actually, wait a second. Let's flip it.
• 43:25
  Ask ourselves a better question. Is it? We're all even. We're all equal. Now what's the opportunity?
• 43:32
  Ask ourselves a better question. What if I did this? Well, am I gonna get in the restaurant business? Maybe. And I did.
• 43:39
  Why? Because nobody thought of it that way. And we looked at it, we had plexi. So the whole idea is to think outside the box, ask yourself a better question, and get your mental state in that to create change. Alright.
• 43:51
  So we're almost done here. How do people find you? How do they get ahold of you? And all that good stuff.
• 43:57
  Gregg Farineau: Company name's Headhunters Canada. So headhunterscanada.com is our website. You can find me on LinkedIn, Gregg Farineau, g r e g g f a r I n e a u. I'm on Instagram. It's not my business account, but it's greg le giant.
• 44:11
  Greglegiant. I'm French, so I had to obviously do a little play on words there. And yeah, I just tell our clients, you know, we, we're boutique, we're white glove, but we wanna find our next Michael or Kobe.
• 44:23
  Kevin Halliday: And the greatest thing about it is if you're looking at how to network and do it, you're a guy to talk to, because in every social media, and if you guys have social media out there and you look at it, get on his Instagram, see exactly how he's connected, where he's connected, because all of a sudden, those connections change lives. You know what? Thank you very much for You being know what? Like, subscribe, hit that button, shed talk with Kevin Halliday. We'll see you next time.
• 44:45
  Enjoy the day. Boom. Awesome.
• 44:51
  Gregg Farineau: Hell, yeah.
• 44:51
  Kevin Halliday: Hell, that was great.
• 44:53
  Gregg Farineau: That was good. Thanks, Kevin. We gotta get your son to take