Latest / The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast / Find Your Story in a Land of Longing | a conversation with Meredith McDaniel

Transcript

Find Your Story in a Land of Longing | a conversation with Meredith McDaniel · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: My name is Amy Wicks, and I love to talk about the gospel message your heart was created to hear.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: All things Enneagram, and helping you be confident that you are the best mom for your kids.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a mountain mama who somehow ended up on a cul-de-sac in the Midwest.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: I was alone and without family or community.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: But the Lord, He didn't let me stay there.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: He helped me turn my brokenhearted moment into a wholehearted decision to get intentional with my faith, my marriage, and my kids.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: I share broken-hearted perspective with story, but with wholehearted purpose and plan so you can live a life full of confidence and abundance.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: Think of this podcast as your on-the-go mom pal, mixed with a little bit of Enneagram coaching.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: So get to that pile of laundry or hit the treadmill or load up the kids in the car for that grocery run.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: And be ready to be encouraged and challenged while you listen.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: This is the Simply Wholehearted Podcast.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: Hey friends, I'm so glad you're here today.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: This month we're focusing on how we make the most of our opportunity and our time, or as I like to call it, wholehearted minutes.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: Today's guest is Meredith McDaniel.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: She is a licensed counselor and author who feels called to sit with and listen to the stories of women helping them discover who they are and to experience life more fully.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: She has written the book in once and in plenty.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: It is beautiful.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: And not only is she a deep bull of compassion and insight, but her book is as well.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: This conversation that you're about to hear is rich with encouragement.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: I think that you will find Meredith to be kind and the kind of companion that you want to have on your journey to self-awareness.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: She is also able to guide you through story and conversation into your narrative and your past so you can move forward into the land of milk and honey.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: Now, we also end up having a fantastic Enneagram and motherhood conversation.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: It was such a wonderful surprise and delight.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: There's really a ton of wisdom for each Enneagram type as we share how it looks to parent kids whose personalities are wildly diverse.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: For those of you who are new to the Enneagram, it can be sort of overwhelming and it's sometimes hard to know where to begin.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: But that is why I created my Easy Enneagram resource to help you make your journey so much easier and simpler.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: If you haven't already, you can get an Easy Enneagram Quick Start Guide, which I spell out the easy steps and links to find the resources that you need.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: Then when you want to learn what the Enneagram is, what it can do for you, and also what are the dangers of the Enneagram, the Easy Enneagram 101 video guide is created specifically for you.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's inexpensive and it'll take you less than 30 minutes.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: You can find out more on easyeneagram.com or check out the links that are in the show notes with all the information.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: Now, let's dive right into this conversation with Meredith McDaniel.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_01: Well, we've got some common things to talk about for sure.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I love it.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um there well that's one of the things when your book kind of came across my desk.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: One, the cover was beautiful and it intrigued me.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: The title in Want and Plenty.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: It made me think of a Matt Redman song from Forever, Blessed Be the Name of the Lord.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: We don't even have the title right.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: That's probably a phrase or a lyric.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna have to listen to it to remember.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sure I've heard it, but not in thinking about it with my book.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: So listen.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it's that whole idea in once or in plenty, blessed be the name of the Lord.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: And how and practically I feel like this is the answer to that song because we can sing it and we can believe it, but how do we live it out?
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like your book answers a lot of those questions.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: So it's beautiful, not only in cover, but in content.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: So I I really thought it would be a good, this would be a good month to talk about it and to share your message because we're talking about seasons, making the most of our opportunities.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: And and one of the pieces in particular, and this right away at the beginning of the book, it talks about um, or you mentioned this quote by Henry Taylor, he that lacks time to mourn, lacks time to mend.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: And as we think about making the most of our time and using our seasons really well, some of those seasons are mourning seasons.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a personality type who would like to avoid those sad, hard things.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: So help us understand what it would look like or how to give ourselves to the time to mourn unto the fruit of mending.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: Because you're not talking about to just wallow and stay there.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: You are talking about seeing fruit in our lives.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's so true.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I think um, you know, when we uh when people come into my counseling office, they that's where they are.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: They're kind of stuck in their story and they're saying, you know, I can't get out of this wallowing space.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I need someone to, you know, kind of look in with different eyes and a different perspective to kind of remind me and help me to to see with a new lens, um, just you know, the hurt and the pain that's in my life right now, but also maybe things that have happened in my life, you know, leading up to this.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_01: How can I sort through that so that I can mend and you know find healing?
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_01: And um, but we do, we have to take the time, the intentional time to be able to process our story and our life with the hope that through that process, though grueling um at times, it that it'll be worth it and then we can find some joy and movement on the other side of that.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: You kind of give an outline of what that could look like in your book, and that's how you walk people through your chapters.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: Can you share a little bit what those steps are and your thought process behind them?
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, early on in the book, um I kind of do like a laying out of the landscape of the book.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, we've got a couple different sections where um we I call it uh revisioning, which is kind of what I was just saying about looking back and being still and then also scanning the horizon, looking into the future.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: So that's kind of the big picture, kind of big three concepts.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but then at the end of every chapter, we also um uh there's a section called Restory, uh, where I have some very intentional questions for guiding journaling.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_01: There's also some throughout the chapter, too, because I'm kind of a conversational writer.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, when I say things, I want to create a natural pause for people to ponder and think and maybe pull out a journal or paper in order to really jot down some ideas.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I think one word on that is that you don't have to do it all at once.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's it.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um I think this is a book to go through slowly and to come back to and revisit at different seasons of your life.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and then the last section is called Resound.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_01: And I really do believe in kind of music therapy and um music's a big deal for me in um the just the healing process of listening to a song.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: And so I have some very intentionally picked songs that I listened to while I was writing each each chapter.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_01: It kind of summarizes kind of the bulk of the material so that people can absorb it in a different way through their senses, you know, through listening and slowing down their body.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: I I noted those and I was um going to be putting them on my like worship playlist because I'm like, yeah, if Meredith thinks they're good, but to know that you listen to them as you wrote them as a fellow writer, that's even more powerful because it's true.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: I those were the words of a lot of those songs like inform not only the words I'm writing, but the lessons I'm learning in the process.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_01: And there is a Spotify playlist if you just type in one plenty that already is there for you.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_01: And I it's all the songs from the chapter, but then I just added a bunch more.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's like almost three hours work of worth of music now.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_01: So perfect.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_01: Enjoy for anyone who wants to listen.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: Well, we um my good friend Sarah Hagerty has been on the podcast several times, and she was on back in January talking about her message of a door.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: But I see worship and worship music very similarly in that process when maybe I don't have the scripture off the top of my head, or you know, I don't have access to my Bible highlighted Bible, you know, to pull out my favorite passages.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: But I have the music that I can just stream in my car and, you know, max out the speakers and rewrite uh the messages that maybe are going on in my mind right then.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: So I I agreement like the power of music, it's incredible.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_01: I love that you're doing that and that it's already been effective for you.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_01: I think um a lot of times we don't realize the impact of the words that we're hearing and the content that's coming into us because the world's so loud right now.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, you know, we have to be um very thoughtful about slowing down and putting and receiving um what is helpful and truthful um so that we can grow and find healing.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's so true.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: And uh I really I don't know what I would do without it.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: Uh for me, it's the grounding I I would be a terrible mom, I'd be a terrible wife, I'd be a terrible human being.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: So not only do I not understand how people do it without Jesus, but for me personally, that practice of ongoing walking out my faith at it just without those resources and those tools in my you know Christian faith tool belt, I would just be missing more than I'm hidden for sure.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and isn't there so much freedom in that to remember that it's not up to us?
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_01: It's not like this American, we've got to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and just be stronger.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's actually the opposite, which is surrendering and saying, I can't do this life and parenting and being a friend, a good friend and a good spouse and um good worker, you know.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, without the strength of someone that is bigger than me that actually knows me better than I know myself, knows what I need more than I think I do, um and is is constantly, you know, already providing what we need in all of those spaces of struggle.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: A few times last year I shared this and it's still an ongoing lesson for me.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: But I finally, as I was turning the corner to 40, realized, oh, God doesn't expect me to get it right now.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I I lived as a pastor's kid, I lived in the faith, I lived as a Christian and you know, in service to the kingdom and a lot of churches and ministries and organizations, but I I didn't even realize how much this mentality was informing my daily living of that somehow I needed to arrive on this side of heaven.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_01: If only, right?
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I know.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_01: I've I've believed that lie too, um, unfortunately.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, it's something that can creep in even once we uh say it with our lips that we don't want to believe that or live that way.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it can creep back in and we just again, it's that going back to a surrender that man, I can't, I don't have it all figured out.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_01: This world is more mysterious uh than I might like to admit.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, and thank goodness he doesn't expect me to figure it all out.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, for sure.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: Because I keep blowing it.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: Well, one of the one of the things we talk about often here is because wholehearted sometimes seems overwhelming and it even can lend itself to bootstrapping it your way through life.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: But I believe that out of broken-hearted moments, we choose one or two paths.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: Are we gonna lean into the Lord, lean into his truth, and come to a wholehearted decision, or are we gonna spiral to a place where we're then dependent on ourselves?
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: But what I love is that you and really appreciate is that you point out that a lot of us may believe that our stories of brokenness define us.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: How do we not let that brokenness become our default mode?
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I think, yeah, it goes back a little bit to what we were saying about not getting stuck and not wallowing.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I think that we have to pay attention to uh, you know, just one, who we are and how we operate in the world, so that when circumstances come our way and life isn't going as planned, um we can gain some perspective.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I think for me, being rooted in um scripture that reminds me of what is true, um, having people around me.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I talk about when the Israelites are walking, you know, out into the desert, they weren't doing it alone.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_01: Like they were grumbling and whining and they were scared, um, also excited about what was next, but didn't really know how it was all gonna shake out.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_01: But they were going out tribe by tribe with people and they, you know, they were looking side by side, also hearing them crying out.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_01: And so we need to remember that suffering and silence is gonna get us to a stuck place and it's gonna get us to a place of despair and hopelessness over time.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_01: But if we open up and share where we are, we're gonna get to hear other people's stories and realize wow, there's a common narrative here.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um, this is a human struggle.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_01: The longings that I have are not just limited to me.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_01: And that's oddly comforting.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: It is.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: That's so good.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: It is profound when we sit around and finally open up and are vulnerable.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: So many of us end up going, oh, me too.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: I know it's reassuring when my friends, you know, share something that is similar to my struggle, even if it's not the exact thing.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: Then I feel freedom to go, oh, I'm not alone.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes we can carry each other through those seasons, right?
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like I feel like I even within a marriage, you know, there might be times where I'm really struggling with something at work or in a friendship, and I, you know, open up to my husband and he's in maybe a stronger headspace for that season.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_01: And it's hard when we're both in a hard place.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but we can kind of carry each other and remind each other of what is true, what where we've seen God's hand in our past, um, where we're where we can try to find it right now, and how we can hope, like looking into the future.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah, that's so good.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's true.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: I think that is the power of community and the power, really the power of vulnerability when we're willing to go there.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: One of the things that we love to talk about is the Enneagram.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_00: As an Enneagram coach, I incorporate this in my living room and all my conversations.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: Honestly, if my friends were to tell you about me, they would say, Well, you can guaranteed having an Enneagram conversation when you hang out with Amy.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: I can't help myself, it's just everywhere.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: But uh, how do you incorporate the Enneagram in your practice and as in even in your writing and stuff like that?
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: I saw a couple nods, nothing overt, but I loved uh the different pieces that I saw in there that kind of refer to our motivations and weaknesses and uh strengths.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I think that the gift of the Enneagram is providing a language for people.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_01: So knowing that we all see the world through a different lens is so helpful because when when I when I do something and somebody else does something in response to the same thing and they look so different, we can start to believe, you know, I'm right and they're wrong.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_01: And that creates division.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_01: And um, when I was writing the book, even, you know, I would have my goal was for people of all numbers um to be able to resonate.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_01: And um, I'm a I identify as a four wing five.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_01: So obviously I have longing in my subtitle because I'm always longing for more.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like things can be better, something's missing.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_01: And we all struggle with that, right?
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_01: As a as human, because we're in this in-between space here on earth.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_01: But you know, I like to think that God uses the lens that I have to highlight um some of that longing that people can relate to, but I also didn't want to just reach other force.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_01: And so um, I had different various numbers read it, you know, as I was um like different little sections to make sure.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I got some really great feedback, you know, from different people that were uh different personalities than me.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_01: That's um saying, hey, like this part's like I need some hope right here.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_01: And um yeah, I so I think it informed my writing, but it also informs my my counseling practice because every person I sit in front of, I I'm not seeing them as right or wrong.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_01: I'm seeing them as a unique creation by God who didn't mess up when He created them or me, and that we both have something to offer in this world in our own unique way.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_01: And it really creates a lot of abundance in this world to see the variety of God's creativity versus uh you need to be more in my box and you need to be more of my number, which is not helpful.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, exactly.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I I think that's so beautiful of what you said that it creates the abundance.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's really easy in friendship, in life, and motherhood to automatically assume that someone should respond a certain way and it's gonna look like us.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: But I've really learned I have a a beautiful small group of of women who we pray together and it's really diverse and unique and different.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: We all lead as different types, and it's amazing to come in because a lot of us it's sharing story really and narrating other other stories and you know, coming in and giving that perspective, and that's what's powerful to come in.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: And each of us have a unique lens that we're looking through, not only in our spiritual growth walk, but our personality.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: And so for me, I used to wonder forever why I so struggled with my friends who led as a four.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like I loved them so much, but I would be like, come on, get your hope on and you know, see the positive.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: And and I would, I would go, what's wrong with me?
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: I, you know, I I want to reframe their circumstances to a positive light.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I used to like get frustrated with myself of like, I just why do I struggle sitting there in it?
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: And and then this resource, this tool helped me go, oh, this is why I see it the way I do, and this is why they see it the way they do, and this is what they can teach me.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: I have learned so much from my friends who are able to grieve openly, um, and obviously not without hope because we all have a shared faith in Christ.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: But um, but it's just like it's been so great, and I have gone deeper in the Lord and deeper even in my story because of them and because of that dynamic.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and my husband's a seven, so I don't know what your number is, but he um he's he tends to be that way too.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I have so needed that so that I don't get stuck and that he can remind me of the light and the positive things.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_01: And um, we I think we both bring something to the table and balancing each other out.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's you know, we still have to learn what that looks like because on the good days is good and on hard days that's it's hard.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_00: I'm kind of curious to know how have you incorporated incorporated it into your parenting and mothering because the goal isn't to type our kids, but to better connect as a mom and and to know kind of what our needs or pitfalls are.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, great example timely today is my little guy that is in his room around the corner.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_01: Um, he he is very much a performer.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_01: Give it a number, but that's part of who he is.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I got one of those.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_01: And um, you know, in uh PE yesterday, they were really kind of encouraging them to run as many laps as possible.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_01: Whichever class gets the most laps wins the pizza party or whatever.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_01: And he just wore himself plumb out to the point of tears, like, I don't think I can go to PE again tomorrow because I'm gonna have to run that many laps again.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_01: And so we I kept him home today, not out of like a way out, but a way to like really process these tears.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and say, like, you've got to learn to pay attention to your body and know your limits.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_01: This is gonna be a skill you're gonna need your whole life because people are always gonna push you and you you already pushed yourself so much.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I would not have had that same conversation with my younger daughter who does not push herself very much.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_01: Quite yet, at least.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um she's kind of like, I'll sit down, I don't care.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um right.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think with the using the integral with parenting, it is is opening our eyes to our kids right in front of us, providing that language, and then really creating a space um just to process life with them in a different way, and it's that unique parenting for each kid versus kind of here's the formula and we're gonna apply this to everybody and hopefully it'll work, which is kind of rough.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_00: You are brilliant.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_00: I what you articulated just there is such a beautiful wisdom that I hope people pick up on because just having set sat in similar circum uh circumstances before, uh it's true.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_00: And if you have a performer who doesn't engage easily with their feelings and their emotions, you as a mom get to co.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: them through that to engage in it too and like you said your other child you would have handled the situation very differently and it would have been probably championing them to put in more and team spirit and all of those elements but oh I think I think that is so good and I that is what I hope that in my championing moms to explore the Enneagram that they get out of this because what a different story for your kid.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_00: It could have been a breaking moment in a whole nother way if you hadn't had that understanding and that insight.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_01: It's definitely felt that way today and I think um even just the one-on-one parenting normally you know you're trying to parent with multiple kids around and uh it's harder to have that focus.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_01: So I love that you're doing that with moms.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_00: I think that sounds like such a great gift to oh thank you thank you well I know how much it has helped me and and being a natural enthusiast I tend to see things and like the whole world needs to know about it.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_00: So I sort of can't help myself but um I just I love how you example it so well and and spelled it out for my friends.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_00: Well I know we could talk about the Enneagram for hours because it's what I like to do.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: But I want to I want to kind of finish up with this line of thinking and that is personally I'm exploring what wholehearted celebration looks like and what does it look like to have fun as an adult as a responsible adult as a mom what does it look like to celebrate in different seasons as you you know really kind of outline in your book and what and in plenty but um you you really you talk about how self-awareness is a journey and most of all like what we pointed out too at the beginning that it takes time.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: So you developed seven back to basic questions that helps us begin the process of going past and this is really for me because I don't like going to the past that is your strength my my strength is looking forward and to restory and that that's what I'm really good at but I need help looking at the past so I can figure out where I need to restore.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_00: So could you give us maybe the first three steps for my friends as they're listening while they're doing laundry or carpooling and all of that that they can begin going past whether it's natural to them or whether they just need a little bit more guidance.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah and I I love that you said the the thing about you know being past oriented versus future oriented because we obviously need both and um they both play such a big role in finding that movement and not getting stuck in our story.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_01: So um I think that you know these these seven different big overarching questions that I kind of addressed throughout the book but early on introduced them they really help us one, just to say it's worth looking back.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah I need to hear that it's worth yeah so believing that I think really is the first step and just saying um if I keep just moving forward and just kind of forget about everything that's happened up to this point, you can also like I think the fear is that you only see the bad but when you look at the past you also get to celebrate like you just said you know you get to say this it's like the Ebenezer's all throughout the Old Testament of where they would put up these little statues of rocks and these little mile markers saying this is where God provided this is where he gave me what I needed or gave a whole people group what what they needed.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_01: And so one of the questions I ask is you know how were you raised and what did your family dynamics look like and that's going to stir up a lot of thoughts and feelings.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_01: But even in our hardest stories of being you know the hardest parts of where we were raised there's also some really beautiful parts.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_01: So I think looking at it from a perspective that I want to see both the good and the hard and both are valid and helpful in looking forward to the future.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_01: And then this is maybe a more future oriented question because we're asking you know what breaks your heart and what makes you come alive.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_01: So it's present but it also deeply impacts your future.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_01: So you can look back and say this is what I've always been drawn to this is what's brought tears to my eyes.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_01: This is what just makes me laugh out loud and feel so alive and good.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_01: And how am I going to use those gifts and those passions to inform my calling and what in the world God's wanting me to do in this life in this kind of in-between space, you know, before we get to heaven one day.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_01: So it's really good.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_00: I love that that's a great tip.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_00: All right so number three how do we how what's the next step in our journey looking past evaluating kind of like our family of origin almost and then what breaks our heart or maybe what's the thing again that brokenhearted moment right that even maybe led us to a wholehearted decision.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_00: And then what what action would you recommend after that?
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah I think probably the guided journaling honestly I think if you're uh like more abstractly processing a lot of this stuff yeah and then being able to quiet I talk a lot about trying to quiet and uh declutter the noise really in our life but if we can sit down and really kind of use these questions in the book to journal and to write out and if you're not a journaler, you know that's okay.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's a voice memo or maybe it's um some sort of other creative outlet, you know, um just to get it out of you instead of it just being in your head.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_01: There's got to be an action to get it out so that then you can uh see it and apply it um and grow and find healing in your story.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe if you're not afraid if journaling isn't for you or even the voice texting feels cumbersome but doing this book with a group all the action questions or the discussion questions are are perfect to process with a group that feels safe because obviously some of them are deep dive um more than others.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_00: But I I mean again kind of referring to this group that I've been gifted with you know those are the kind of questions that we're asking each other and and can help um because I do tend to I've found power in writing I've learned that skill you know so to speak and I because I've and I've because I've benefited so much from it I practice it on an ongoing basis.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_00: But I know for me my nor more natural tendency is to you know go go to Voxer and verbally process or whatever that is.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_00: Thank goodness for Voxer my friends can paint play me three times fast.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_01: Oh I know I love some Voxer.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_01: I was gonna say too just a disclaimer on this if you do just start digging into it with a group or you're even just doing it by yourself, which I actually recommend you having at least one person that you're sort of bouncing these thoughts off of so that you don't get in your own head with a lot of these bigger deeper questions.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes we do need extra support.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_01: And so at the back of the book I have some restoring resources, ways to get connected to either counselors or spiritual directors, kind of whatever you're feeling like you might need um just to again have that extra support.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah no that's so good.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a huge advocate because as an Enneagram coach I can only take people into their story at some level and then then sometimes it's that's enough but for other people it's the the first step into a bigger process and that's where a lot of the professionals gifted professionals come in to help people on you know just on that path to healing and whatever it whatever each individual needs.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_00: So that's good.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_00: I love that Meredith I've loved this conversation I'm just a champion of the beautiful words that you've put in this book and I know man I understand the book writing process and I know how painful and beautiful and wonderful and hard it is.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to just applaud you and say thank you for um putting the effort into this to help other others on this on this growth path.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you so much and thanks for having me I love to see all the work that you're doing through the podcast and with your local women uh because that's that's where it's at right it is I agree I'm with you it's all happening in the living room over coffee and kids crying in the background.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_01: It's a beautiful beautiful thing.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_00: It is thank you Meredith thank you so much I think I could sit with Meredith and chat all day.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's obvious she is a wonderful listener and counselor and really wise.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure you'll want to head on over to her website to get her new book in Wants and in plenty and you can also sign up for her mana on Monday letter to get weekly encouragement straight in your inbox.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you've enjoyed this episode and I imagine you may have thought of someone who would appreciate hearing this conversation.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's really easy to share this chat with Meredith and it'll take you less than a minute.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_00: So if you look at your podcast app in the upper right hand corner you can just hit the share button to text or send this podcast an email or even post this episode on social media.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure who you thought of would really appreciate it and be so glad you shared it with them.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_00: Oh and also make sure that you are subscribed to the podcast.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_00: That also again on the front page of the Simply Wholehearted podcast just hit subscribe because I'm gonna release a bonus episode later this week with actor and movie producer Kevin Downs.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_00: His publicist reached out to me and asked if I would want to share about the new movie I still believe that's debuting on March 13th.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like of course I'll talk to him he happens to be an actor that I've appreciated in a couple of my favorite films and has helped produce many faith-based films that are making impacts in our culture.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_00: So you'll want to hear that conversation just make sure you're subscribed so you don't miss this bonus episode coming up and a few others that I'm gonna be releasing because I have too many conversations and not enough Mondays to share them with you all.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_00: So until next time let's invite others to join us to pursue perspective purpose and plans for a simply wholehearted life