Latest / The Person behind the Position / When the position becomes your identity

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When the position becomes your identity · The Person behind the Position

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Welcome to episode two. When the position becomes your identity,
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: have you ever thought about how much your identity is connected.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: To what you do?
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: I talked about this a little bit in the first episode.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: When someone asks us who are you, one of the
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: first things we usually tell them is what we do.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: I'm a pastor, I'm a teacher, I'm an HR professional,
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: I'm a nurse, I'm a professor, I'm a line worker,
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: I'm a manager, I'm a business owner. Whatever the position
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: happens to be, and there's nothing wrong with that. What
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: we do is part.
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: Of our lives. For any of us, it's a big
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: part of our lives. But here's what I've been thinking about.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: What happens when the position becomes our identity. What happens
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: when I stop saying this is what I do, and
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: somewhere along the way, I start believing this is who
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: I am. Because those are two different things. And I
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: don't think it happens overnight. I think it happens slowly.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: You do something long enough, people begin to know you
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: for it. They call you by your title. They come
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: to you because of what you know, They depend on
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: you because of what you do.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: You become good at it.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: Maybe you even become known for it, and without realizing,
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: that line between the person and the position starts getting
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: a little blurry.
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: And then something happens. The position changes.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: You retire, you get laid off, you change careers, the
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: company closes, you get transferred.
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: You don't get the promotion, you leave.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: The church, you leave the classroom, you leave the office.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: Or maybe you simply wake up one day and realize,
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: I don't want to do this anymore. And now there's
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: a different question. So if I'm no longer doing what
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: I've always done.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: Who am I? Now?
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: We know the people behind the titles, but the title
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: only tells us what someone does, not who they are.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the person behind the position, where we look
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: beyond the title to discover the person carrying it.
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: I'm your host, Michael Chisholm.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: I've had to think about this in my own life.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: I've held a number of positions. I've been a professor,
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: I worked in human resources management, I'm a pastor.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: I've had reverend put in front of my name.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: I've had doctor put in front of my name, and
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: all of those things mean something to me.
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: I worked for them, invested in them.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: They represent different parts of my journey. But I have
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: to remind myself that they represent parts of my journey.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: They are not the totality of who I am, because
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: Michael existed before some of those titles, and Michael has
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: to exist outside of those titles. It's easy to say,
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: I don't know that. It's always easy to live. But
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: there's something that happens. When people begin to identify you
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: by what you do, you can start identifying yourself that
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: way too.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: Sometimes you don't.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: Realize how much of your identity was attached to a
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: position until that position is gone. Think about someone who
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: has worked at the same place for thirty years. They've
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: gotten up at the same time, driven the same route,
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: walked into the same building, worked with some of the
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: same people. They know how things operate, they know who
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: to call when something goes wrong. People come to them
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: for answers. Then one day they retire. Everybody throws a party,
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: there's cake, there are pictures, people say nice things, they
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: get the card, maybe they get to watch. Everybody says
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: enjoy retirement. And then Monday morning goes. You know where
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: they have to be. Nobody's waiting for them to come
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: through the door. The phone may not ring as much.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: The people who used to need an answer figure it
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: out themselves or start asking somebody else, and for the
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: first time in a long time, that person may have
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: to figure out who am I when nobody needs me
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: to do.
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: What I've always done. That's not just retirement.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: That can happen when you lose a job, and I
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: think sometimes we're too quick to move people to the
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: next thing. Somebody loses a job and almost immediately we
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: start asking have you found anything yet, where have you applied?
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: What's your next move? Those may be necessary questions.
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: But maybe they're not always the first questions.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: Maybe sometimes the first question simply needs to be how
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: are you? Because losing a position can mean losing more
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: than income. You lose routine, you lose relationships, you lose confidence,
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: you can lose a sense of being. You can lose
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: the place where you've spent eight, ten, sometimes twelve hours
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: of your day and you've connected your value to that position.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: You can even begin to feel like you've lost your worth,
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: but you haven't.
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: Your position changed. You didn't stop being a person.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: And that's one of the reasons I keep coming back
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: to this idea.
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: Of the person behind the position.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: Because there is always somebody underneath what we see. The
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: person checking you out at the girlcy story has a
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: life after this shift ends. The person answering the phone
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: has something they're thinking about when they hang up. The
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: person teaching the class has things they're still learning. The
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: person preaching the sermon has questions to The person running
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: the company goes home and takes the title of The
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: person cleaning the building has dreams that have nothing to
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: do with cleaning the building. And I wonder how differently
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: we would treat one another if we remember that not
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: just what.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: Do you do, but what makes you happy? What scares you?
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: What are you still trying to figure out? What do you.
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: One out of life? What have you always wanted to try?
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: Who are you when you're not working? Who are you
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: when nobody needs anything from you? Who are you when
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: nobody is impressed by your title? Those questions don't fit
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: on a resume, and maybe they tell us more about
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: somebody than the resume ever could. And I've had to
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: ask myself those questions in the past year. Who is
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: Michael when I'm not preaching? Who is Michael when I'm
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: not dealing with an HR issue? Who is Michael when
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: I'm not teaching. Who is Michael when no one calls
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: me rev Or? Who is Michael when no one calls
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: me Doc? And that's something I'm still discovering, And maybe
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: that's okay. Maybe part of being human is continuing to
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: discover who we are because the reality is we're always changing,
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: we're always growing, we're always learning, and maybe one of
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: the mistakes we make is believing that because we've reached
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: a certain position, that we've arrived, we have it.
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: There's still a person.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: Developing underneath the title. So I'm not saying don't be
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: proud of what you do. Be proud of it. If
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: you've worked hard for the degree, celebrated, if you earn
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: the promotion, celebrated, If you spent thirty years mastering your craft, celebrated.
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: If you love what you do, there's nothing wrong with
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: saying that. But don't let what you do become the
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: only thing you.
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: Know about yourself.
• 10:57
  Speaker 4: Because positions change, titles change, careers change, organizations change, life changes,
• 11:10
  Speaker 4: and sometimes it changes our choices.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: Sometimes it isn't. But when the position changes, the person
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: is still there. So maybe there's something we can do
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: this week and next time someone asks you who you are,
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: Pay attention to your answer, Notice how quickly you tell
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: them what you do, and then ask yourself, what would
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: I say if I couldn't tell them my occupation? What
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: would I say if I couldn't manage my title? What
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: would I say if I couldn't talk about my degrees,
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: accomplishments or responsibilities? How would I describe me? And you
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: don't have to have to answer the day. I'm not
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: sure any of us completely do, but I think it's
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: a question worth asking because the position is something you hold,
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: the title is something you're called, the work is something
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: you do.
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: But underneath that all they're still you.
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: And that's the person I want us to keep discovering
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: on this podcast. So until next time, leave you with
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: the question that sits at the center of every conversation.
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: We're going to have, Who are you? Behind the position?
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: If you have enjoyed this episode, share it with your friends.