Latest / Relatables / HOW TO GET OVER YOUR EX!!

Transcript

HOW TO GET OVER YOUR EX!! · Relatables

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Coming up Relatables. Things guys say versus what they should say.
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: This is what they say, I don't like going on
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: my phone on a night out.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: Okay. What they should say is.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: I'm an asshole and I want to do what I
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: want when I want, and you should be okay with
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: it because again I'm an asshole.
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: Pattern Matt, would you like to go on a date
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: with me? Not? Let's hang out? Facts? Bro? I actually
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: I love that. I don't think anything more is facts
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: and that I absolutely love that. After doing this pod,
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: one of the things I hate the most is, like
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: we find out how many people just call it hanging out?
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: And also, you know what, one more thing that you
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: miss is you miss the imaginary life that you built
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: or the life that you had planned that now no
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: longer is going to happen.
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: And you miss that You're like, wait, now, what's my
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: life going to look like in ten years? Relatable the
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: Relatables podcast is hosted by myself, Jake Craig aka Daddy,
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: and my partner in crime, Bodie Clark aka Big M
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: Big M Baby. We're back again again, back back and ready.
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: But we have a big announcement to start, don't we Jake.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: Very exciting announcement, this one. This has been about a
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: month in the making.
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: Yes, the first episode of twenty twenty five, we had
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: a little challenge for everybody listening slash more so watching. Yes,
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: there was a QR code hidden within the episode, and
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: all you had to do was scan it and get
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: in the running to win Who Jake Gracie Abrams tickets. Yes,
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: that's it, and we right now are about to call
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: the winner. Yes, alright. You just want to say a
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: big thank you to everyone that entered the Gracy Abrams giveaway. Yes,
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: this is exciting. We're about to have a random pick
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: I choose who wins the free tickets. We're going to
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: spin the wheel. That's been exciting. Ship a lot of
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: people entered it. Scary. It looks like it's Victoria, Victoria
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: car Tusano. Let's call her and give her the good news.
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: Let's go Hello, you're there. Yeah? Is that Victoria? Yes,
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: it's Jack and from the relatables. Just want the Gracey aprostick. Yes,
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: you were putting us straight to voice. That's why I
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: was Thanks so much for entering. And we've got your
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: email and everything, and we'll send the tickets over. Yeah,
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: thank you, no worries at all. Have a good day.
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: You too. Lucky? She rang back, Yeah, very lucky, she
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: rang back. She's sending me straight to voice messages. I'm
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: pretty jealous. Actually, I would have loved to go to
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: Grace mate. I'm I'm going, I'm on the floor. I'm jealous.
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: And then when when Beth got those first tickets, we
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: thought we were going to be sitting there, and for
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: some reason, I had like this impression that we were
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: going to be back up very top. Yeah. And she
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: went and looked at them the other day and she
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: was like, oh, they're like they seated tickets, but they're
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: full good. Yeah, they're actually like close. And I was like,
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: oh fuck, I frecking anywhere and they would be good.
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, seen her to fuck Jesus, She's magical. I
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: was like, she's got fifty million monthly listeners on Spotify,
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: and I was just like, Jake's bay gone through all.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: I've gone. I've just listening for some reason.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: Well, because like we can see ours right yeah in
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: the back end. Here's a question for you actually, before
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: we get into the first segment, do you reckon on Spotify?
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: I reckon? They should Yeah, do you reckon? It should
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: say monthly listeners.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: Maybe not that, but it should say how many Like
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: how on YouTube you can see how many people have
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: watched the YouTube video. Do you think you should say
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: how many listeners you get on each episode?
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: Well? I think just playing on Spotify, I think it
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: should say monthly listeners reckon because I always gauge artists
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: like how good they are by how many monthly listeners.
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: I look at that and I think they must be good, yes,
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: and like us, yeah, like tooting our own horn. But
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: we'd look pretty average, like better and average. I yeah, no,
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: we would. You'd look at it and you go, well
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: off that many people like it. I feel like it
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: out will do better for a podcast, just be like,
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: come on Spotify. Why, I don't understand. I don't understand.
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: They are a little they If anyone ever starts a podcast, right,
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: highly recommend it.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: It's a fun thing. It's not as saturated as you think.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: All right, It's very fun and you can do well
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: if you stick to it. But Spotify is a little
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: like I love Spotify. They're a little like with the data.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: I think because they love their data.
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: I think because music's been there for so long and
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: on the scheme of things, podcast is still so new,
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah that they're like, I don't know what to do
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: fair and even I guess think about how old music
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: is before Spotify. Yeah, if I came out, what early
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: two thousands, I think so, yeah, or like early teens.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: I think it might have been just after twenty ten. Yeah,
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: the podcast thing came out in like twenty fourteen, twenty
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: fifth thirteen.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: I mean yeah, I think there's people that have been podcasting. Yeah,
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: it's maybe twenty thirteen, and that's like Joe Rogan and
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: two others.
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and then just mate, I don't know, fuck, do
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: you reckon? There's going to be what's the next thing?
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I've always wanted to be in the
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: next thing. Yeah, what's that? Okay? When Joe Rogan started podcasting,
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: people were like the fuck, Yeah, what are you doing? Right?
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: What's the next thing? I'll tell you what. Though, human
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: nature always has the mindset that like, oh, it's already
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: so big, there's already so many people. I'm not going
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: to do it. Yeah, like TikTok. If you want to
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: start a TikTok account, you're like, oh, it's so saturated. Nah,
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: can't be fucked, or I want to start a podcast,
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: I want to become an artist, like oh nah, there's
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: already so many people out there in reality. It doesn't
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: matter what is.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: If you want to do it, just do it, because
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: the next thing is going to be someone that is
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: going so wildly against the grain that it's gonna be
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: years of you're crazy, you're crazy, you're crazy.
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: We need to think of it and we need to
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: do it. I think the next thing is just like
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: a different type of video format. Yeah, like YouTube's making
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: a change at the moment from that mister beast like
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: clickie ten minute, like doom boom boom, you watch this
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: right now? Yeah, to like hour long, slower more type movie.
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: Trust TikTok was trying to do that for ages.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, TikTok's like algorithm was just getting fucked because they
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: were like, oh no, we want it so people can
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: post long form content and flip their phone and.
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: Have it in. It didn't work by nine twenty, nineteen
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: twenty or whatever, and it didn't work, No, not at all. Yeah,
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: So I'm so I'm so keen.
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: We need we need a brainstorm because we've had a
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: few business ideas where we thought yeah, and then people
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: come out with them.
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: We're like fuck talking about business ideas. I sort of
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: had one the other day and then it came up
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: on my fucking TikTok for you paid, and I was
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: pissed it. So you know how when you're with your partner,
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: you can never choose a movie because a male and fem.
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: I've been seeing this go on. Have you seen the app?
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: I'm pissed. It's like we had an idea. I was like,
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: imagine if you could swipe, like you both had your
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: accounts connected and you selected which platform if you had Netflix,
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: stand or Disney, and then it came up with the
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: movies that correlated on that platform, and then you both swipe,
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: and then when you matched, you you like, yeah, sweet,
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: this is the moment that it's a genius idea. But yes,
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: someone has created it. I know, and I downloaded and
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: it's full good is actually? Oh shit's it? What's it called?
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: Because I want it's called No, I'm not fucking free primary.
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: I'll tell you after I'm pissed, man, I'll show you
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: them up and we'll say, mate, we love movies on there,
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: but Disney. So they don't have access to all of them,
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: so business opportunity. Last night, how do you feel about this?
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: Johanna was like, do you I always end up back
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: on Netflix, and I was like saying, same, I always
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: end up back on Netflix. Also, I hate it when
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: you go to hover over one of the things and
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: it goes to the trailer. I don't know why, but
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: I hate that.
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: Do I? Because sometimes I want to like put it
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: on and then go do something, but I don't, and yeah,
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: and it starts. I'm like, no, that's not what I
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: want to watch. Yeah, I just don't have to stay there,
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: or at least repeat the trailer. Don't go and play
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: the whole thing exactly.
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, repeat the trailer. At least you don't fucking force
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: me to watch something I didn't choose. That's just like
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: holding me against my will. It's not legal. Okay, But
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: what are we starting with today?
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: Things? Boys should say? This should be a good insight,
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: maybe a bit of knowledge. Are some nine to ten
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: percent male listeners? Yeah?
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: Everyone, get everyone, get your boyfriends listening. We had we
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: had a girl email us a woman sorry, a woman
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: emails Yes. I don't know if it was a dilemma
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: or something. But a girl sent us. I think she said,
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: I love the podcast. My ex boyfriend used to hate that.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: I listened to it.
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: Oh what, and that's why I made him my ex
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: something along those lines. I was like, there's a reason
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: why he's an ex. And I was like, shit, So
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: maybe when when all the girls, because we're outing yeah,
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: toxic boyfriends.
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like all the baddies will be like, oh,
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: these guys are kind of talking some sense. And so
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: then boyfriends are going no, no, no, no, no no, because they
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: don't They're like it makes sense, but they're like no, no, no,
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: I'm stubborn.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: And so then they don't they hate that they watch it.
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: I love that actually. So girls are going away from
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: this episode and they're like, oh wait a second, my
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: boyfriend doesn't do this. Talk to their boyfriend and like
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: where did you get this from. He's like, oh, relatable,
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: and he's like stop listening. Those guys are just fucking
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: says some slurs about us or something.
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: Like that, like fuck you. But so yeah, the way
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: my hair, I was like, things guys say versus what
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: they should say. Pretty much, Yeah, that's what That's what
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: I've gone with.
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: Okay, I'll go first. Things boys should say, I'm not
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: feeling the best. Can we talk about it? Oh?
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, facts, Yeah, I've been getting deep one. I've been
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: getting slightly better at this because I get super anxious
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: about it.
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: Do you get anxious to bring stuff up a little bit?
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: I get not anxious sometimes. My body sort of has
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: trouble deciphering the difference between anxious and nervous. Yeah. See,
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: are they the same thing? Though? I no, No, I
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: think anxious is like a different, more more type feeling right,
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: and nervousness it's like worse. Yeah.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: I think maybe I'm just I just get nervous about
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: it because like when let's say, like, that's pretty good
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: at bringing stuff up if I've maybe hurt her feelings
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: or something like that, but I didn't mean to. She's
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: good at bringing it up and just being like, I
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: know you didn't mean to, but you did.
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: And so I'm like, oh, I appreciate that, thank you.
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: I didn't mean too.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but ah, if she does it, I convinced myself,
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I need to bring it up because she
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: doesn't know she's hurt my feelings.
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: But I know she didn't mean to therefore, why would
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: I bring it up? You know, exantly?
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And so then I convinced myself not to and
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: so I've been getting trying to get better at bringing
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: stuff up, and it's like to the point where I'm like,
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: and then I do it. I feel so much better
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: because she's like, oh, thanks for telling me.
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: I feel like our nature and Guy's nature as well
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: as like we hate the confrontation. So if we are sad,
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: instead of going, oh, I'm not feeling the best, can
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: we talk about it, we say we don't say anything,
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: and we're like, oh, just deal with it myself. It
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: is weird, like I'm feeling a bit sad, but like
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: I'll get over it, Like fuck it. I don't want
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: to have the conversation. I know. Always I always go
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: to that. I'm trying and catch myself out saying like, oh,
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: maybe no, I do need to talk about it. I'm
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: sad for a reason, I know.
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And it's like the tough conversation is annoying because
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: I'm not mad at you.
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: No, you know what I mean.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: It's like I'm not mad at you, but just like
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: I kind of I want you to know that, like
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: I don't know what something that you're doing is kind
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: of make me feel shitty, And I know you don't
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: mean to make me feel shitty, and I don't want
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: to make you feel shitty with guilt.
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but like I just think you should know. It's
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: like so, I don't know why. It's just the craziest
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: spiral that I get, like a battle in your head
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: and a battle in the relationship. Do you get that? Yeah, yeah,
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: I relatable.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: I hate it so much. Okay, things guys say versus
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: what they should say. There's things guys say, right, I'm
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: guilty of this. No, I don't feel like a sweet treat.
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: What they should say is, of course, I'll get a
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: sweet treat with you. You need to. My little speck of dust,
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: you're gonna wither away into nothing, my little speck of dust.
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: Where the fuck did you get that from? TikTok?
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: I was like, I thought of it, and I was like,
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: what I see all those ones where it goes skipped
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: my sweet treat tonight.
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: If you see a speck of dust flowing around, that's
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: just me. You don't worry about me, especially if the girl
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: brings it up first. You always have to be like obviously, yes,
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: I will get a sweet treat with you. Yes, I
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: definitely will, even when you don't feel like one. Yeah, exactly,
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: all right. Things boys should say, would you like to
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: go on a date with me? Not? Let's hang out? Facts? Bro?
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: I actually I love that. I don't think anything more
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: is facts and that I absolutely love that. After doing
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: this pod, one of the things I hate the most is,
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: like we find out how many people just call it
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: hanging out. Yeah, like put intension on what you're doing.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And even like talking to friends and they kind
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: of go like talking about maybe a girl that they're seeing, right,
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: and you're like, oh, yeah, like you have been hanging
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: out with this girl. Even then it's like you should
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: just be like, yeah, I've been dating this girl.
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: Like you don't have.
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: To be an exclusive couple to be dating because you
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: guys have been on dates like you are dating someone exactly.
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I tell you what was really interesting Patreon plug,
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: we had then interesting debate slash argument about conversations around
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: what are we and me and Jake had very different
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: stands on it. It's on Patreon, sorry, plug five dollars
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: a month. But the comments because I replied, all the
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: Patreon comments were very split it. Oh, they were also
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: split a few more with me. I was in a
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: strong mindset of you should I'm not going to say anymore, right, Yeah,
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: but so they were they would kind of split, yeah,
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: a little bit, right. So maybe it is just like
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: a matter of that one's just like personal preference. Yeah,
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: but I think it's also having like a standing ground
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: of making it known that it's you have been purpose
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: to the date. Yeah, Like it's a date. You're not
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: hanging out, Like if I hang out with Jake, I
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: don't want to kiss Hi at the end the day,
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: do I? Yeah, if you want to kiss him, if
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: you want to kiss them, it's a fucking day. Yeah,
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: if you want to kiss them, it's a date.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: Most of the time, you want to kiss them from
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: the start. Literally, fucking hell. Okay, things guys that things
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: guys say.
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: Versus what they should say.
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: This first one is just silence, like radio silence, right,
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: just pretend okay, versus what they should say. And this
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: is only really around this time of year. I know
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: we're a couple in all, but will you be my valentine?
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, let's go. Still have to say yeah, yeah, even
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: if you've been dating for twelve hundred years. Yeah, you
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: gotta ask your girl will you be my Valentine's Oh? Man.
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: I was talking to Beth about this the other day, right. Actually,
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: first I saw a TikTok yesterday and it was like
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: a just a little carousel TikTok post and it was
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: a photo of a girl and it was her. Why
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: haven't you asked me to be your Valentine yet?
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: And it goes over to the boyfriend and obviously a
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: guy made this, and he said, do you ask your
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: mum to be your mother on Mother's Day? I was like,
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: come on, it's not called girlfriend's Day, It's called Valentine's Day.
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: For both of you to come on, Valentine's Day is romantic.
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: Mother's Day is at romantic. No, Mother's Day is not romantic.
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: But I was talking to Beth about it, right yeah,
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: And I was kind I kind of have like a
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: bit of a separate stance on it, right, So I
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: I asked Beth because I know that she likes that,
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: like it makes her feel good.
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And then the act of asking her to be
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: my Valentine is like.
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: It seems it's like you see of boyfriend that's putting
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: a lot of effort in, but not much effort goes
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: into it, because all you're.
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: Saying is will you be my Valentine? Literally, you know
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: what I mean. But it means so much to her
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: if she likes that.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: But I was also saying, like I can see I
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: can see both arguments where if a boyfriend was like,
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: we're dating, obviously you're my Valentine. If he was to like,
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: on Valentine's Day he hasn't asked, but made Valentine's Day
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: like very special, then I think that's also fine. But
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: if you're the type of guy that just like goes
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: I don't believe in Valentine's Day, that's what I think.
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: It's shit. Yeah, you know what I mean. That's toxic.
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: I think what you said about the gestures and making
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: a special day is definitely right, but it's also not
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: hard just to say do all that and then also
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: the day before, a couple of days before, will you
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: be my Valentine's Day? Yeah, to Valentine, I don't see it.
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: Just say it's a sentence, will you be my Valentine.
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: It's a fucking scene. It's talking about Oh that piss
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: you off. Actually I just realized I just did it
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: right then. Anyone listening might have picked up on it. It's
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: Valentine's Day. Yeah, I know, I know, it's me. I
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: did a fucking brand deal for some flowers, which is
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: really good, and I subconsciously say Valentine's Day with an
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: M and like I didn't even edited the video, listened
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: back to it like ten times, didn't pick up on
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: a once, send it to him, didn't pick up on it.
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: And then the comments were like Valentine's and it had
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: like ten lights and I was like, I hate myself.
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: I hate how I talked. I saw the video right,
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: I didn't even know.
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: And then and and it also came up on BET's
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: page and she sent it to me and she wrote
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: and she said and just underneath all she wrote was
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: Valentine's and I was like, yeah, I know, he said it.
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: I was like, I'm assuming he filmed it, edited it,
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: and thought, fuck, Cob, I didn't even know, Ayet, And
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: but you didn't even really, I didn't even know. I
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: didn't even know. I thought it was a great video
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: and it was a good video, and I didn't even
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: realize until you just set it right then and you
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: said it right, and I was like, damn, man, yeah,
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: I see, I've always known it's Valentine to see the
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: gesture still there in my heart.
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: Did you genuinely grow up thinking it was spelt with
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: an M? Like if you would have write down valid
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: probably I probably thought it was Valentine's Day? I don't
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: know why.
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: That's funny? Bro alright, my last one things boys should say.
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: This one's going across two days. Oh okay, I like this. Okay,
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: I had a great time. I'll call you tomorrow. Bring bing,
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: bring bing, Hey, you want to do this again sometime.
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: So basically, what you're saying is, don't fucking lie and
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: just stay through your word. Literally. Well wait, that just
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: sounds so easy. Why don't they do it? I don't know, man,
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: it's quite hard to be a man of your word.
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: We've found out on this pod. Oh fuck, it is
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: hard to tell you what. It's hard to be a
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: man of your word when you have a bad a
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: bad memory. Is that your cop out? I wonder if
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: a segment would be good, like some memory exercises for you,
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: or we just play like cards and play memory beforehand.
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: That's actually a good idea. Just play a couple of
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: rounds of that memory game. It's good for old people
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: with dementia. It's actually, yeah, it takes good because it
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: trains your brain to remember stuff.
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: Fucking no.
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I got one more things guys say versus what
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: they should say.
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: This is what they say, I don't like going on
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: my phone on a night out. Okay. What they should
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: say is I'm an asshole.
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: And I want to do what I want when I want,
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: and you should be okay with it because again I'm
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: an asshole.
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: Pattern Matt. Basically what they're saying when you read between
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: the lines, Yeah, yeah, so what do he said? That's
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: what he actually means. That's what he should just say.
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: Just come out and say it. I just don't get today.
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: Absolutely fucking trash, hilarious. I'm just a bad reply. I'm
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: trying to think, like, let me live in the moment.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: I definitely have gone through like a phase when I
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: was younger with a girlfriend where I was just thinking,
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: like I do I just want to live in the
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: moment and I can just go tap myself on the
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: shoulder and be like yeah, just hard to just like
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: maybe once an hour, just send.
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: An updated three seconds, just sucking updated. Yeah, you're still
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: in the moment. What moment did you? Yeah, Like, if
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: you can go through the effort of walking up to
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: a bargain a dream. As you're walking up, just get
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: your phone out and while you're waiting to pay, just
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: be like exactly, hey, what you're waiting for him to
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: make it? Yeah? Fucking bullshit? Yeah, so bullshit. Dilemmas is
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: up next, Jake? How do they submit a dilemma?
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: The way you submit a dilemmas is in the description
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: of this video.
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: There will be a link.
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: Okay, either use that or you go to our Instagram
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: bio and you click the link in the bio and
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: you scroll down and you choose dilemmas and you do
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: it that way.
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: That's it. This dilemma is tricky, Jake, did I get ghosted?
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: I've got a bit of a crazy dilemma. I love
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: the podcast and you guys always do such a good
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: job of seeing into guys brains for us girlies, and
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: your advice is always it's so insightful. I was hoping
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: you could help me out with this one. So basically,
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: I am nineteen and was talking to a twenty five
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: year old guy from Tinder for about two weeks he
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: was beautiful, and we had insane chat, the best banter
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: all round. Vibes were high, and I really couldn't wait
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: to see him. He never gave a vibe that he
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: was looking for something serious or long term, and neither
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: did I, which was completely okay with me. But still,
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: the messaging was super consistent and always really interesting. It
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: did get a little bit naughty, if you know what
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: I mean, but I am a virgin in brackets. I
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: didn't tell him that and brackets, but I did let
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: him know on three occasions that I have a rule
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: that we're not having sex on the first date, and
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: I'm not a smash and dash kind of girl. He
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: came to my city for the weekend and we made
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: plans on Friday, which we didn't follow through both of
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: our faults, and Saturday and Sunday we tried to see
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: each other, but that didn't work out either my fault.
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: We both really wanted to see each other, and he
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: ended up staying extra in town another day purely to
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: meet me. Neither of us felt like going out, so
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: we decided he could come over and we could order
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: in in Bracket's probably not the best idea, but my
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: sister was home, so I felt comfortable. We talked quite
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: a bit in person, and he had really good chat
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: and we had a connection. We were talking about movies,
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: so we decided to put one on. Long story short,
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: things got a bit heateed. We moved to the bedroom
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: and somehow ended up breaking my rule for him. Afterwards,
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: we sat on the couch and talked for a while.
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: We were joking and messing around, and he gave me
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: kisses on the forehead, telling me how beautiful I was
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: and was just being really cute. He left and I
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: felt pretty okay about the situation, and he said he
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: would be back in my city the following weekend, coming
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: the next day. He didn't message me, and around the
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: afternoon I got quite upset about it. I sent him
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: a reel that related to him, and he laughed at
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: it and answered, and I answered back. He read my
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: message a couple hours later and hasn't sent a message
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: since Tuesday. It's Thursday when I'm sending this, so almost
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: been a week. Jeez. I don't know what to do
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: in the situation. I feel quite used and icky about
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: it now. I'm not sure if I should send him
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: a message telling him I feel hurt and disrespect disrespected,
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: especially since I told him that I'm not that type
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: of girl. Or maybe it would be better just to
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: leave it and block him and try to move on
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: from the situation. I hate the thought of losing my
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: vcar to a random guaft tinder that I might never
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: see again, and I'm just not sure how to move forward.
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: I'm so sorry this is insanely long, but I just
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: feel so stuck. I don't have an objective view on
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: this or or whatsoever, and I really appreciate an insight.
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: Love you, guys, so much. Love from Greece. Wow, Greece
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: all the way from Greece. Yeah. Very A little bit
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: sad at the end. It just sad. I apologize, but
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: I'm not apologizing on his behalf. But I just am
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: sorry about the situation. Sorry it happened to you. I
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: have empathy for you. I thought it was a very
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: good dilemma to learn from, potentially for other maybe young girls.
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: And it's sort of going off our first segment that
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: some dudes are very trash. Yes, and what I wanted
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: to say was him ghosting you doesn't change your value
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: at all. No, And although it's completely out of your
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: control and very sad that it happened to you. And
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: it's even worse because it was your virginity. Him leaving
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: or not replying shouldn't make you feel less than you
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: are in any way. If he can't see how valuable
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: you are, yeah, that's his fucking problem. Yeah. And although
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: it's sad, I think it also comes down to a
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: personal preference. If you want closure, potentially messaging him him
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: might help, But in my personal opinion, I think you'll
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: get fuck all from it. He'll just be like, oh,
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: just foot, we'll having phone. Yeah.
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't be surprised if you got a fuck all
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: from it. Yeah, but if you got something from it,
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: that would be great.
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah. But basically my biggest takeaway was him ghosting you
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: doesn't change your value at all. And it's a good
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: learning curve because although they are hot, sexy, do all
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: the right things, you can never really tell. No, you can't.
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: That's actually so that's a good point. Yeah, you actually
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: cannot ever tell because people can just act. Yeah, just act.
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: And I guess the thing that hurts is that it
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: probably just hurts that maybe he was acting. That's probably
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: what hurts. What makes you feel like shit, it's a
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: harsh lesson funny that you talk about closure, because I
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: was gonna and just a different episode, I saw like
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: this sick threat and it was what was something your
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: counselor or therapist has said to you that changed your life,
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: and one of them was someone's counselor said to them.
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: Closure is a luxury, and most of the time we
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: don't get it because it's a luxury, and not everyone
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: gets luxury items. You have to look at it as
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: like a luxury item. Although you're entitled to closure, it's
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: a luxury.
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: You don't always get it, and sometimes you just have
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: to get over it and move on, which is like
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: harsh in the end, but it makes a lot of
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: sense calling it a luxury item.
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: I really really like that.
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I just kin't. I remember reading it and
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: I was like, fuck, I actually bring this up because.
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: Closure comes from someone else or something else, and it's
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: out of your control. But if you somehow gather that
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: mindset if it's a luxury and don't let closure, having
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: closure or not control how you feel, you potentially move
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: on faster or Yeah. And I think the first step
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: would even just be like maybe listening to that quote
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: or something and being like, yeah, that.
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: Makes a lot of sense. It's not gonna help you
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: straight away. You're gonna feel like shit for a while.
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: You're a human being, you have feelings.
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: He's literally like at the moment, you feel as though
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: he's used you. And the annoying thing is that you
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: don't know if he has or not.
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's just probably I guess the safest thing
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: to assume is he has. You got to like keep
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: your you've got to understand what you're worth, and then
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: just I don't know, I mean.
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: Try to look on the bright side. Was the sex good?
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: You lost your virginity to a go on tinder devo?
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: Was it sex good? Yes? Take away days Yeah, like
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: glass half full take away Tinder Like it's just like
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: meeting another person if feels hot, like that's and it
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: was good sex. Who cares? But also yeah, I just
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: think as long as you don't let him control how
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: you feel, yeah, that's the most important thing.
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: It is hard because it's like all it's just like
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: super easier said than done.
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: But I guess when you when you hear the advice,
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: it's just like you just like best case scenario is
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: you don't message him, yeah, I would say, try to
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: move on. And then within a week or two he
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: comes crawling back, yeah, and was like, oh I had
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: a fun time. We should do it again.
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: And you're like, oh, actually yeah, I'm good as Yeah,
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: I say fuck, I fully agree. I reckon, fuck off,
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: get rid of him, unfollow him, like you just gonna
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: now look at this is just something that's in the past.
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: And yeah, if he comes crawling back, it's like I reckon.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: If he's throwing back, if he.
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: Says like you should send a voice message, he's going, yeah,
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: I reckon. We could do like let's just say okay,
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: leave it. And then a couple of weeks if he
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: messages you and he's like, had a great time. Sorry,
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: been busy with work. That's what he'll say, Sorry, been
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: super busy with work. In the shower, yeah, and uh
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: busy with work.
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: Would love to have like take you on a date again,
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: and he'll like to try and get you back. He'll
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: do all that stuff. He'll be like, sorry, I want
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: to take you on a date. He'll might try and
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: make you feel special by calling it a date. He
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: won't be like, I just want to hang out again, Yeah,
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: I want to take you on a real date. And
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: then he'll be like, I hope she likes that. But
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: this guy's a fucking trash dude, right, So what do
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: we say if he says this.
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: We say, I like taking like the high roads and
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: not replying to letting letting the little red receipt pop up.
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: That's good. I like that. Slightly, petty slightly, it's like
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: petty and matual. Yeah, I love that, But also I
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: can see the fun of it and being like sending
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: some little fucking message. It just gets on his nerve.
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: Oh what about no the sex with shit? Yeah? Yeah,
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: no facts. That's like I'm trying to think, like.
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: Something about like, oh you were as tall as I
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: thought I was being nice that night something like that.
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: Just like fuck him up. Say he's like he's damaged
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: your ego.
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and like as soon as you get you go
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: back damage here is fuck him, I say, be petty.
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: Being petty in this world is just like people are
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: like take the high road.
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: I get that.
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: I'm all about taking the high road as well, but
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: sometimes it's a room for pettiness. Room for pettiness in
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: this world. Okay, my turn, the title of mine, the
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: Sunday fling that left me high and dry? Was I
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: too harsh or just tired of being used?
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: Oh? Shit? I went out with a guy a few
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: times last summer. We would basically meet up at his apartment,
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: mostly during the day on Sundays, have sex, and then
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: go home after a bit brackets. We might grab drinks
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: before or order in after close bracket. He made it
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: very obvious he wasn't looking for something serious, so I
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: felt fine with it. What I wasn't fine with his
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: complete lack of effort to make me come. I commented
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: on it many times, and he'd say he was just
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: too tired. I was insulted and ended up sending him
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: an Amazon link to a book teaching you how to
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: make a woman come brackets in sincerity, I thought maybe
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: he didn't know. He never responded and we haven't talked since.
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: But was I being unreasonable? He made me feel like
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: a glorified cum dumb stuff? But when I retell the story,
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: people make me feel like I was being too mean. Also,
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: I'm new to sex, so I don't know how this
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: kind of stuff works. Well wait, wait, what's the dilemma?
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: She's like? Was my response valid, like is in valid
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: in the book or was it to me? I think
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: this brings up a very relatable dilemma or relatable problem
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: for how men view sex and that they're in it
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: for themselves. Facts a lot of you guys are, Yeah,
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: like so many men are in their own head and
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: they're just like, yeah, I'm just gonna get off myself. Yeah.
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: When in reality did she say she's consistently having sex
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: with him? Yeah, so she hasn't spoken to him for
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: a while, but it was every Sunday afternoon they're doing that.
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: It was like most Sundays during the during the day,
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: and then it was just sex and they'd either they'd
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: like she'd just go home after, or he'd just like
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: go home after, or maybe they'd get like order in.
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: But it was never like lovey dovey stuff. I reckon
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: what you did is completely fine, especially if you're having
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: sex consistently, and obviously both parties should be winning. Facts
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: like fair enough if your partner, the male, finishes early,
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: but there's plenty of ways to get it done. Otherwise, well, yeah,
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: at least even just trying or offer, like if he
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: puts in the effort but still can't do it at
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: least you know he's putting in the effort. Right now,
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: it's just all you, none of him. Yeah, he gets
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: to finish every time. I think the biggest takeaway is like,
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: for a man here, this is a good insight going
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: into sex. Because you've been doing it a bit, he
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: should be fine. But there's a bit of pressure in
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: our own heads to perform, and it doesn't always work.
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: Not saying that's an excuse, but for any men listening,
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: it's okay to finish early, but just offer, like, all right,
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: give me five minutes, or do you want me to
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: finish you off, or just say something like that, here's okay.
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: I was gonna say, so now you're just saying, like,
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: guys feel this kind of pressure. So I still feel it,
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: like you still want to perform, right, But that's so
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: that's you and I and we have a very similar mindset.
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: I was gonna ask, I'm gonna say something cocky. I
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: always perform, I was.
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: What's your definition of perform? But what if like because
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: who knows? Like we could be anomalies in this charm
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: on this world.
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: See see we say, surely we're not. But also do
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: you reckon now?
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: Because you know how like even we make jokes, like
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: we make jokes about not having a huge penis because
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: it's a funny joke. To make right, we make jokes
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: about lasting thirty seconds a funny joke to make right,
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: we last more than thirty seconds, all.
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: Right, everybody, I swear thirty two? And so do you
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: reckon this? Whole? There's like this whole jokiness now has
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: made it so guys are kind of like, yeah, it's
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: fucking like guys don't last long anyway, Like I'm gonna
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: it's fine, Like girls know that.
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: The joke's been the truth. Yeah, because the joke is
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: the truth. Usually it's like guys, some guys do struggle.
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: Do you reckon? Now?
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: There's like this there's just just this wave of guys
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: that will just go into it knowing he's gonna come,
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: and knowing that he's not gonna make her come because
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: he's never made a girl come, and so he's gonna go.
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: He just goes into it like yeah, like I got
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: what I want and says to them, I'm just too tired.
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: Like he pretends like he could do it, but he's
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: just too tired, but he can't actually do it like
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: he's just yeah.
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: I think that comes down to naivety as a young
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: male and not having the communication skills to talk with
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: your partner about the sex, because I remember when I
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: was like seven, eighten, eighteen, probably even nineteen, and I
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: was having sex with girls like I more I probably
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: didn't make him finish, and no way I was having
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: a conversation about that. Fair Like, I just didn't have
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: the capability in my communication skills or the closeness in
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: the relationship I was having sex with said person, and
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: maybe in hindsight, looking back at that, I should have
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: built that relationship more so I felt comfortable enough to
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: talk about said things. And we both want well.
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: It's like our egos couldn't take it right because like
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: we know from stories with friends right where they're probably
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: even lying about making a girl finish, and so it's like,
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: when you know you haven't, I'm not going to ask
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: you because then that's a definite answer, which is.
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: A very immature.
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: You're right, very naive and stupid, and so I think
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: that you you sending him this Amazon link has called
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: out something that's a fact of that he actually doesn't
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: know how because he probably never has and so he's
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: like probably just thinking.
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: Like, oh I got I just got to go. It's like,
• 33:55
  Speaker 2: that's that damaged my ego.
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: And I'm not saying you're a mean I don't think
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: you're a mean person for damaging damaging?
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: Is he like you genuinely wanted to help? Yeah, I
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: think the approach could have been slightly better.
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know, though, it's kind of like
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: you could maybe you could have sent a message like
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: this is nothing like I just I just want to
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: help you because I like having sex with you.
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: I don't know. Yeahah, yeah, yeah, one hundred percent. And
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: the fact that she said she had some comments beforehand
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: and nothing was changing. I think it was validus said
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: said thing, and like it's a little bit harsh. I mean,
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: look it's harsh, but also I'm proud of I don't
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: blame her. Yeah. Yeah, I admit it's harsh, but I
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: don't think it's mean. I think in the situation that
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: you were just two people having fun, I think it's
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: completely fine. I think it would be mean. Shut up, Jacinottie,
• 34:37
  Speaker 2: we are hijacking the next couple of seconds of this episode.
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: This is Jake and Otti from Patreon Patrion. Sign up
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: to Patreon because that is where most of the fun happens.
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: That's where all the fun happens. We can't get canceled.
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: The episodes are just so much fun and we're building
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: the baddie community. How much is it, Jake? It's five
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: dollars a month. You know how much that is a week?
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: A dollar twenty five a week? How much is that
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: a day? Seventeenth cents a day. Go run your money
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: to Patreon because we love you and it lets us
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: be able to do this for a living. And the
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: episodes are really good. We hope it's good value. Anyway,
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: Thanks guys, enjoy the rest of the episode.
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: If you sent it to him and then he wanted
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: to learn, but you were like, oh no, no, no, this
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: is me telling you where done, but here you need
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: to learn for future, that.
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: Would be mean. Yeah, if he couldn't make you come,
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: but the fact that he goes to you, he definitely
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: even though you wanted to help. I think you still
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: won though he ghosted you because you heard his ego. Yeah,
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: fact you won for sure? Yeah yeah, but yeah, I
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: think there was valid what you did. Yeah, No, I
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: don't think. I think people I don't know why your
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: friends are saying you mean fuck that. Yeah. Also he
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: wasn't making me finish, so good riddance. Yeah. Facts like
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: as you I'm not saying like you gave him a
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: good chance. It sounds like you did it multiple Sundays
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: or maybe even other days of the week and you
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: gave him a good hard chance. I love E's plans
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: like Sunday sex Day. I know, I know it's crazy.
• 35:56
  Speaker 2: I was talking to someone and they it was someone's friend.
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: I don't even know the person, but they had an
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: ex boyfriend who would plan their sex schedule like on
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: a calendar, like maybe like kind of the weak prior
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: or like the morning off basically you know what I mean.
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: So it's like ready, yeah, it's kind of like yeah.
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: He would be like, so, well, what happens with me?
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: Is it just happens Like I never go into something knowing.
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: It's kind of like starts with some kids seeing and
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: you get into it and then it happens and you're
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: kind of like, oh that was great. Yeah. Yeah.
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: But he would be like eight pm tonight grabbing sex
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: and then on the door eight pm he'd come in
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: and like they'd have sex.
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: But to be fair, like there's some organization kings and
• 36:39
  Speaker 2: queens out there like that they love the schedule, and like,
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: I'm going to judge that. I think it's definitely I'm
• 36:49
  Speaker 2: judging that. I think it's because he'd come in from
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: playing fucking video games or something and just do like
• 36:53
  Speaker 2: time for sex. I'm serious, fucking hang out with your girlfriend,
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: take her on a date. I was gonna say, I
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: think it's definitely more romantic to do it your way. Yeah,
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: your way? Why is this is just what's your I
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: do that as well. Planet I might say, like the
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: of like I'm keen, I'm keen or something. Oh yeah,
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: at least and then she knows you at least she
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: knows you're gonna try that. I don't ever say like
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: eight pm, thirty pm. Yeah, no, we are going for it,
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: and it better be fucking before or don't you dare
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: cook dinner at six? I think there's a time in
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: the world for both. Not the time thing I reckon.
• 37:27
  Speaker 2: The time to plan it is when you're married with kids.
• 37:30
  Speaker 2: We don't know if you're married, if you have I
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: feel like there's like an unspoken rule when you're married,
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: like if the kids are gone, like we're on.
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: Surely it's an unspoken rule for the dad and the
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: mum's kind of like finally some chill time and she's
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: gonna be like, don't fucking touch me.
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm dead serious right now, do not touch me?
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: Like what's with the whole thing of like, Dad's okay. Actually,
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: here's another question.
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: Is sometimes like I don't always feel like having sex,
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: Like I actually like I don't have the sex drive
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: where it's like on the drop of a dime I
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: could do it. Sometimes I'm actually like, let's say, Beth
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: randomly one time was like, I'm keen right now. If
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: I wasn't keen, I'm I'm fine to be like, oh no,
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: I'm not keen right now, you know what I mean.
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: We happen. We figured out now I'm ready done. We
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: figured out that. So I can't remember the exact terminology,
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: but men's hormones go through the cycle of like horniness.
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: It's definitely more technical. It's every twenty four hours every
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: day hormone cycle. Yeah, we go through it every twenty
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: four hours, whereas the girl goes through it twenty eight days, Yes,
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: twenty eight days. So we're always like, oh, I'm honey,
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: I'm honey, I'm honey, whereas a girl's like, ooh the
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: population week, it's like yeah week, so every single day,
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: but oh now, funny story. I finish on this. This
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: is funny, this is what all right? So I've been
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: doing I'll get to the kicker. I've been doing cardio
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: at the beach and walking up and down my local
• 38:51
  Speaker 2: beach doing like four laps takes me about hour, hour
• 38:53
  Speaker 2: and a half. You go listen to podcast, just make
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: masters to copa. You got all the way you do
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: four laps, all the way to the surf club. Yeah,
• 38:59
  Speaker 2: surf club is if there's people. I don't like seeing people,
• 39:01
  Speaker 2: so I cut sometimes people we know decent walk. I
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: was walking the other day and got a message, like
• 39:07
  Speaker 2: a funny message I know with my girlfriend when it's on,
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: and she was sending me like oh, she said she
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: brought me a vacuum and she's like, you want to
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: pick it up? I was like, oh, I didn't uder
• 39:14
  Speaker 2: say anything. She's like right now, and I'm like I
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: was like I was thinking at first, my initial thought
• 39:19
  Speaker 2: was like what the fuck do I need a vacuum
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: right now? I'll just pick it up next time I
• 39:22
  Speaker 2: see it. She's like, no right now. And then she
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: said like, oh, I want to have sex. Anyway, I'm
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: halfway along the beach try I'm like, god, I've got
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: a bit keen, and I might as well run the
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: rest of it because to get me back was going
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: to take me a while to walk. So I was like,
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: I'm as well run. So where we live in the
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: middle of our beach, like no one swims at. So
• 39:42
  Speaker 2: I get to the middle of about two hundred meters
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: from where I parked my car, So I'm starting to
• 39:46
  Speaker 2: run from there. And I start running, and out of
• 39:49
  Speaker 2: nowhere there's this girl on the beach like waving her hands.
• 39:52
  Speaker 2: I'm like, what's going on here? And I'm running because
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: I want to have sex. And then and then she
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: goes this guy is stuck in a rip, and I'm like, oh, now,
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: I'm like it looked like I was being a hero
• 40:03
  Speaker 2: and running like two hundred meters to go see this
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: guy stuck in a ring, like I had a dead eyesight.
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: And then anyway, this little kid, a little legend, was
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: like walking with his backpack. He might have been like sixteen,
• 40:15
  Speaker 2: I don't know how old he was. Obviously like a
• 40:16
  Speaker 2: little like surf life right saver or something, dropped his bag,
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: took his shirt off and ran in there and save
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: this like English pommy tourist, and I just like I
• 40:25
  Speaker 2: made sure they came back and were on dry land
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: before I left. I didn't want to talk to him
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: and get out placed with to be Yeah, yeah, no,
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: I made sure that. But I was like, fuck right now,
• 40:35
  Speaker 2: And I was just waiting for this little kid to
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: save this guy. And he was doing a fine job.
• 40:38
  Speaker 2: It was a little bit fatigued, and I watched him
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: come in. I was like, what's the timing on that.
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: I was like, God's up there, saying like I was
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: here to save this guy. Maybe God is real? Yeah,
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: sometimes maybe, because I wouldn't have been running otherwise I
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: would have been in my own world if I didn't
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: get a text and just been like listening to podcast,
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: zoned out, and it just looked like I was running
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: to save this guy. I was like, what are the
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: chances of that happening? And so this girl thought you
• 40:58
  Speaker 2: were running to save this guy? Yeah, and then what
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: about the chance of this kid though yeah he was
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: also that was lucky and he was probably there or
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: maybe forty five seconds mine for me, which is important
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: when someone spoke in a rip and it was just
• 41:09
  Speaker 2: some English pommy, like the whole beach is pretty much flat.
• 41:12
  Speaker 2: This is one rip and he just likes to swim straight.
• 41:15
  Speaker 2: I don't know. Yeah, I was just like, what are
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: you doing?
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: And yes, when it's when it's a flat day, Yeah,
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: that's the hardest time to see it. If there's waves,
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: you can tell because the waves aren't breaking in a rip.
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So that's just like the best bit of advice
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: you can give. But damn, that's funny. I know that
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: was funny. How you go? How'd you? God? You get vacuum? Yeah,
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: picked up the vacuum. Picked it up? Man? How long
• 41:36
  Speaker 2: did you stay? Just in and out? Friends come over?
• 41:49
  Speaker 2: All right, hey, Jake, we've been way too agreeable this episode.
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: I agree, shut up. We're on the same wavelength and
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: I want things to change. I want to argue with you,
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: and I want to do a bit of this you
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: you so yeah, I want to be old a point
• 42:06
  Speaker 2: and I want to say you yeah, but you there's
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: something nice about arguing, and we don't do it enough.
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: So today let's argue. Can you be friends with your ex? Okay,
• 42:16
  Speaker 2: yes or no? What do you want? What is it? Everyone? Comment?
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: What do you think? Yes or no? About friends with
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: your ex? Before we start arguing? Okay, what do you want?
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: What do you want? I want? No, you can't call
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: it in the air tales never fails under the chair tales.
• 42:29
  Speaker 2: Let's go tal No, you cannot be friends with your eggs. Okay,
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: I'll start it.
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, it's the situation I'm about to arise.
• 42:40
  Speaker 2: Is God forbid this happens? Okay, but this is good
• 42:42
  Speaker 2: for the argument. Okay, Odi, Yes, got some bad news?
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: What me and Beth are breaking up? No? Yeah, but
• 42:50
  Speaker 2: we're gonna stay friends. Smart approach. I'm glad you didn't
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: say your X wanted to be friends with you and
• 42:57
  Speaker 2: breaking up. But we're gonna stay friend, stay friends. Yeah. Yeah.
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: Do you think that's a good idea? Well, I mean
• 43:05
  Speaker 2: we yeah, I do. Why do you break up screw apart?
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: You grew on different things? Her terms or your terms mutual? Interesting?
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: I think that's a terrible idea. Why because you had
• 43:23
  Speaker 2: feelings you love this woman at one point? Yeah, And
• 43:27
  Speaker 2: I think staying friends you're just holding on to a
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: little grasp that in the back of your head, you're thinking,
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: if we stay friends, maybe it might happen again, and
• 43:36
  Speaker 2: that's not healthy. I think you need to have complete
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: distance from her to move on completely, especially if in
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: the future, I know you're not ready for it right
• 43:44
  Speaker 2: now you want to get with someone else. I don't
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: think you should be friends with your ex.
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but at the same time, I can't really be
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: just planning for the future and assuming that I'm going
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: to be with someone in the future, and then I
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: can't be friends with my ex before that reason, because
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: she's a massive part of my life. She's been a
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: huge part of my life for the last year and
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: a bit, you know, and I don't.
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: I don't want to throw all that away. We've got
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: the greatest connection. She's my you. She's my second best
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: friend still, she's she's been my way down here, my
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: second best friend. It was an amicable breakup. Everything was
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: on good terms. We want to stay.
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: I love her family, she loves my family, and my
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: family loves her. Her family loves me, and I think
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: we can make it work because we are mature.
• 44:34
  Speaker 2: Make what work the friendship, or because you're still in
• 44:36
  Speaker 2: love with her, of course I'm still in love with her.
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: I have all the love in the world for this.
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: I not love her in a romantic way anymore, but
• 44:44
  Speaker 2: I love her as a person. She's She's one of
• 44:46
  Speaker 2: the greatest people I know, and I think you owe
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: it to yourself. All those things you just mentioned are
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: really good, and it's so hard to detach yourself from
• 44:55
  Speaker 2: the relationship you build. But because it was romantic before,
• 44:59
  Speaker 2: I don't think you can just put this little barrier
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: in there saying now we're best friends and that's not there.
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: If you kiss someone and you've made love to someone,
• 45:07
  Speaker 2: you can't then be friends with them like at all.
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: I think maybe the only way of work if you
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: need to work on yourself now and find your independence again,
• 45:17
  Speaker 2: and then in the future obviously because you've left on
• 45:20
  Speaker 2: amicabol terms in five or ten years, when you've moved
• 45:23
  Speaker 2: on completely, you guys go and get a coffee and
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: laugh about it. I think that's the only way it
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: ever works, like five to ten years type time. But
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: I don't want to want to be free. I think
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: it puts a little band aid over your heartbreak right now,
• 45:45
  Speaker 2: which might be nice, but for the long run and
• 45:47
  Speaker 2: getting over it and you probably need to stitch right
• 45:50
  Speaker 2: now and you're just putting a band aid over it,
• 45:53
  Speaker 2: and you need to completely just touch yourself from the situation.
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: Really have nothing because I've never tried to be friends
• 46:03
  Speaker 2: with the next I thought you were gonna mention that
• 46:06
  Speaker 2: you want to see the dog. See, I didn't want
• 46:08
  Speaker 2: to bring him into it. That was make it out
• 46:10
  Speaker 2: of jail free custody. That was making out of jail
• 46:12
  Speaker 2: free card. But I valid your points of value. I
• 46:15
  Speaker 2: do see certain points, but I think for like the
• 46:19
  Speaker 2: best growth, you can't do it. Yeah, I mean fair enough,
• 46:23
  Speaker 2: Like I I do agree with you.
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: I think you need to be a part because I
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: mean just once the once there's sexual stuff like you're
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: not friends and you're never ever gonna be.
• 46:34
  Speaker 2: What does friends like look like? Does it mean like
• 46:36
  Speaker 2: texting all the time and sharing reels and going to
• 46:39
  Speaker 2: get coffee and going to the swims at the beach
• 46:41
  Speaker 2: every couple of days, or is it like just messaging
• 46:44
  Speaker 2: every month saying you're good. I feel like that's nice
• 46:47
  Speaker 2: if you left on amicable terms, even though I do
• 46:50
  Speaker 2: believe in non contact. But if you message once a
• 46:52
  Speaker 2: month or something said just making sure you are good
• 46:54
  Speaker 2: and just yeah, I'm good you yep, and that's it.
• 46:56
  Speaker 2: I feel like that's fine and mature if you did
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: leave on amicable terms. But it's hard. I prefer the nah.
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: I would say, I'm fully on the note. I'm about
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: the no contact side of it.
• 47:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Like I'm trying to think here, what's the best
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: way to talk about this, because I've had situations where
• 47:17
  Speaker 2: you like, break up, do no contact contact again, and
• 47:22
  Speaker 2: he's end up sleeping together again. Yeah, that's not friends together,
• 47:26
  Speaker 2: or one of you thinks about sleeping with the other.
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: One of them wants that and they're just pretending to
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: be your friend because that's what they want. They hope
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: that you end up wanting that, even THO if you
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: don't want that, Yeah, it.
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: Just turns in.
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: It just turns so so ugly. And I think again,
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: like if there's people out there that make it work,
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: like by all means, like that's the thing, prove us wrong.
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: But I just like I for some reason can't see
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: myself making that work. And I think that's just the
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: only reason of just because you work together for so long.
• 47:56
  Speaker 2: I think anyone listening who's been through this situation, you
• 47:59
  Speaker 2: know yourself and you know your partner, if you can
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: make it work, nine times out of ten one of you,
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: that situation won't work.
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, even with married couples that have kids and do
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: shared custody, it's like a lot of sometimes it's amicable
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: and they understand they're not good for each other. But
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: a lot of the times it was one of them
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: getting divorced with the other and so the other one
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: like probably doesn't want contact, but they love their fucking kids,
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah exactly, and so they're like they need contact, and
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: it probably takes them a lot longer to get over
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: it than.
• 48:25
  Speaker 2: The other person. Like it wouldn't. It just wouldn't. It's
• 48:28
  Speaker 2: just not nice at all.
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: So like when obviously contact is so obvious when you
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: have kids, Yeah, and you have custody sharing and stuff
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: like that, but it would still just be so hard
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: for either both parties maybe need the parties, but also
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: it could also it could be really hard for one party.
• 48:42
  Speaker 2: Like, Yeah, I think it's all about choosing yourself in
• 48:45
  Speaker 2: this situation. Because all your arguments saying the families love
• 48:49
  Speaker 2: each other, we had the best relationship. Ever, that's choosing
• 48:52
  Speaker 2: you two still together. I know, it's like just be together. Then, Yeah,
• 48:55
  Speaker 2: it's choosing the relationship rather than yourself when in reality,
• 48:58
  Speaker 2: I think you need to pick yourself. Is a lot
• 49:00
  Speaker 2: harder and a harder decision to make. Yeah, it is hard.
• 49:02
  Speaker 1: Breakups are hard because you've got a suck, You've got
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: the freakin' obviously the relationship that's now ended, but also
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: like the relationships with the siblings, the relationships with the parents,
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: and just like all of that, and you're kind of
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: just like, fuck, it's like you miss a lot more people.
• 49:15
  Speaker 2: Than you just it's not just one person that you're missing.
• 49:19
  Speaker 2: You're missing like a bunch of people.
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so tricky, and it's all the relationships you've built.
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: And also, you know what, one more thing that you
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: miss is you miss the imaginary life that you built
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: or the life that you had planned that now no
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: longer is going to happen.
• 49:31
  Speaker 2: And you miss that.
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: You're like, wait, now, what's my life going to look
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: like in ten years? I'm so happy, Like right now
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: I'm thinking about the life I've planned with my girlfriend. Yeah,
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: but a lot of people listening right now might be
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: thinking about like the life that used to plan with
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: their actually they're still single.
• 49:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and like it's so hard. It is hard. It
• 49:48
  Speaker 2: is very hard. Like I currently I don't have a
• 49:52
  Speaker 2: plan as a single guy because I have a plan
• 49:56
  Speaker 2: with Beth. Yeah.
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And if I was to have a plan with
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: a single guy, that would kind of mean like I'm
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: not fully into the relationship, you know what I mean.
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: And so it's like if we were to break up,
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: God forpid, yeah, I would be like, oh, now I
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: don't have a plan.
• 50:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I have to fully restart. Yeah, all of that
• 50:12
  Speaker 2: imaginary building. Yeah, those imaginary thoughts play such a vital
• 50:19
  Speaker 2: role in your mental health. Yeah, and like your goals
• 50:22
  Speaker 2: and your motivation, true, yeah, they add to motivation, like
• 50:24
  Speaker 2: you do all this for someone else like that. I
• 50:26
  Speaker 2: know it's not always the best, but extrinsic motivation is
• 50:29
  Speaker 2: also so good when you're doing things for other people.
• 50:31
  Speaker 2: It's interesting, it's very interesting. I have before.
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: I don't know if it was during I didn't think
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: it was during the dilemmas, but we were talking about
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: being anxious or nervous to bring up the hard conversations
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: with people. Now I get that with my relationship, but
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: I also get it with other relationships and family included, right,
• 50:58
  Speaker 1: because you still don't you still thinking to yourself what
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: they're doing is not on purpose, it's not with malice,
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: but still it's like something you want to bring up
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: and but you feel guilty bringing it up, right, And
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: so again I think one thing I would like to
• 51:13
  Speaker 1: preface is that I just have like a it's not
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: a family problem. It's just something that I'm like, it's
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: kind of like a dilemma, right, So I'm lucky to.
• 51:24
  Speaker 2: Have it, but still it's a dilemma. March twentieth, right, so.
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: You're going to BALI Yes, worked out really well because
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: I'm going to Queensland again for my younger sister's eighteenth
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: birthday right right now, Joanna, myself both going, Beth coming.
• 51:45
  Speaker 2: We're all invited, right.
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: But also I've got his grandparents invited, aunts and uncles invited,
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: cousins invited, right, So it's just a funny family.
• 52:01
  Speaker 2: It wasn't like me.
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: And Johanna have been talking about it, right, And so
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: I remember I called my dad and I was like, oh,
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: like who's coming. I'm just like looking at booking flights
• 52:09
  Speaker 1: and stuff, and so Dad said all the people coming,
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: and I was like, Oh, where's everyone going to stay?
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: And he was like, oh, yeah, no, like everyone's gonna
• 52:18
  Speaker 1: have space, Like we'll work it out, will work it out,
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: like everyone I have space at his place, Like we'll
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: have space for everyone. It'll be fine, and it'll be fine.
• 52:24
  Speaker 2: I know where he's gone. But it wasn't like I
• 52:29
  Speaker 2: don't know.
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: It's weird, Like it wasn't implied that we would have space,
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: like do you okay? Basically me and Joanna are children
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: of the people that are in the house. Is it
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: entitled to be like, oh, we obviously get our own room,
• 52:45
  Speaker 1: Like is that entitled?
• 52:47
  Speaker 2: I think you should be first preference to get your
• 52:49
  Speaker 2: own room.
• 52:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Like should we be above grandparents and aunt and
• 52:53
  Speaker 1: uncle and a sibling?
• 52:54
  Speaker 2: I think maybe not grandparents because they are but aren't
• 52:57
  Speaker 2: an uncle one hundred percent. So yeah, that's what I'm thinking.
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: We're on the same page with that then, because it's
• 53:03
  Speaker 1: just like weird. I just have been finding it weird
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: and been finding it hard to bring up when my
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: parents like, oh, like I don't even know where we're staying, like,
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: and there was a moment where I was going.
• 53:13
  Speaker 2: To offer to like go pay for an airbnb and run.
• 53:15
  Speaker 1: I was like, no, we're not doing that it was like,
• 53:17
  Speaker 1: they're our parents, We're not doing that, And I was like,
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: fair enough, and so I just found it like weird
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: that it wasn't implied that we had a room.
• 53:25
  Speaker 2: I think it's more weird the fact that you're bringing
• 53:27
  Speaker 2: your partner who was an outsider in the family and
• 53:30
  Speaker 2: she might not have her own safe place.
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: That's what I said, Yeah, I said to Johanna. I
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: was like, isn't it kind of embarrassing that I don't
• 53:36
  Speaker 1: even know if me and bethiic going to have her
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: own room where she isn't like a proper outside of
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: the field.
• 53:40
  Speaker 2: She should have her own little space because it is
• 53:41
  Speaker 2: a bit overwhelming being the whole family of someone else.
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: And I don't know if it's like a lack of
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: communication or not, but it's still like, oh, we'll work
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: it out, will work it out.
• 53:49
  Speaker 2: What don't you just say to your dad, like, hey,
• 53:51
  Speaker 2: like me and Beth went our own room, do you
• 53:53
  Speaker 2: have one or not? Or else? Can you buy as
• 53:54
  Speaker 2: an airbnb like nearby? See? I don't know, yeah, I see,
• 53:57
  Speaker 2: like I fully could. It's only been like three days
• 53:59
  Speaker 2: or something that yeah, it's only going to be for
• 54:00
  Speaker 2: a few nights.
• 54:01
  Speaker 1: But I just for some reason to find it so
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: weird that that even needs to come up, Like I
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: feel like it should just be yeah, it should just
• 54:07
  Speaker 1: be like, Okay, all these people are coming, all the
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: other people that are being invited other than our kids,
• 54:13
  Speaker 1: they need to know what rooms are available. These rooms
• 54:15
  Speaker 1: are for these people. There's one room available maybe, so
• 54:17
  Speaker 1: it's like, oh, first in, first, best dressed, fair enough.
• 54:20
  Speaker 2: That means someone else is going to have to get
• 54:21
  Speaker 2: an airbnb, you know what I mean? Like, why would
• 54:24
  Speaker 2: I need to reckon? They're playing on your easy nature
• 54:27
  Speaker 2: or they haven't even thought about it.
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: I don't know, because last time when we went up,
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: when they moved up there, it was the same kind
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: of situation, and I straight away was like, oh, I'll
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: just go stroll with my auntie.
• 54:35
  Speaker 2: That's twenty minutes away.
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And I did that just because like there was
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: going to be a lot of people in the house
• 54:41
  Speaker 1: and they were moving, so I was happy to be
• 54:43
  Speaker 1: like this, I just want to make it as easy
• 54:44
  Speaker 1: as possible.
• 54:45
  Speaker 2: For them, right, And then Joanna said that my dad
• 54:49
  Speaker 2: felt bad, and I was like, how bad did he feel?
• 54:52
  Speaker 2: Because he didn't say anything like how did he feel?
• 54:57
  Speaker 2: Because he didn't say anything. Yeah, and they do. And like,
• 55:01
  Speaker 2: I know my parents get annoyed with the other family,
• 55:05
  Speaker 2: but like it's just I don't know, is it. It's
• 55:08
  Speaker 2: like weird that they're happy for me to use like
• 55:10
  Speaker 2: let my easy nature take over, go out of my
• 55:12
  Speaker 2: way to stay somewhere else, even though I did something
• 55:14
  Speaker 2: for them, I brought Hailey's car up for them, Yeah,
• 55:18
  Speaker 2: but they were happy for me to let my easy
• 55:20
  Speaker 2: nature get be like, yeah, I'll stay somewhere else to
• 55:22
  Speaker 2: make it easy for you guys, just because they didn't
• 55:25
  Speaker 2: want to have the conversation with the other people that
• 55:26
  Speaker 2: were like not wanting to make it easy for them.
• 55:28
  Speaker 2: I even think they're playing on the fact that Jake
• 55:32
  Speaker 2: will figure it out when he gets here, because I
• 55:34
  Speaker 2: know I'm an adult. Yeah I understand that, but I'm
• 55:37
  Speaker 2: still your kid. But also now your decision is going
• 55:39
  Speaker 2: to hurt your those feelings if you go yeah, I
• 55:41
  Speaker 2: know you see. I feel like that I would take
• 55:43
  Speaker 2: the high road and just be like, all right, dad,
• 55:45
  Speaker 2: I'm sick of this like non communication. I want some
• 55:49
  Speaker 2: way to stay with Beth. Yeah, my girlfriend, do you
• 55:52
  Speaker 2: have room for me? And if he says, oh, well,
• 55:54
  Speaker 2: I don't know. We'll figure it out when together. He's like,
• 55:55
  Speaker 2: all right, well I'm going to stay on the Gold
• 55:57
  Speaker 2: Coast near the beach for three days. Yeah, just say that. Yeah,
• 56:00
  Speaker 2: and I'll come to the birthday party. And I'll come
• 56:02
  Speaker 2: to the birthday party like I'm coming here like having
• 56:04
  Speaker 2: a little break from working, like I wanted to be relaxing.
• 56:06
  Speaker 2: I want to plan my trip, what we're going to do,
• 56:08
  Speaker 2: like I need to know, man, I know, it's funny.
• 56:10
  Speaker 2: It's just like a weird little family dilemma.
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: And it's like I don't want to bring it up
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: because I know that they're like not purposely making.
• 56:16
  Speaker 2: And it all comes back to that like nervousness, anxiety
• 56:19
  Speaker 2: on your side, on your sister's side, on your dad's side.
• 56:23
  Speaker 2: He probably doesn't want to have the conversation either, and
• 56:25
  Speaker 2: he doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Doesn't want hurt
• 56:26
  Speaker 2: your feelings. Fu.
• 56:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he probably doesn't want to talk to like his wife,
• 56:29
  Speaker 1: like my stepmom about it, because it's like then then
• 56:31
  Speaker 1: it's putting her in a situation where she probably needs
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: to go talk to her family because she's going to
• 56:34
  Speaker 1: become we have.
• 56:36
  Speaker 2: Reason and be like no, that's right. So it's like
• 56:38
  Speaker 2: it's like this whole line of and then I'm kind
• 56:41
  Speaker 2: of like, well if I if I complain it's a
• 56:43
  Speaker 2: line of iffy communication. Yeah, it's weird. Think it is
• 56:47
  Speaker 2: very weird. It's weird.
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but I was just thinking, like I wanted to
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: see what you thought, Like, should it not be implied
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: that Juanna gets one of those rooms best and I
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: get one of those rooms?
• 56:57
  Speaker 2: The other two kids that live in their house get there,
• 57:00
  Speaker 2: obviously they live there.
• 57:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so the other family that's being invited that are
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: all old, you should get first.
• 57:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Like that are all older. If they need to
• 57:06
  Speaker 2: get a combination, they can get a combination. Like it's like,
• 57:08
  Speaker 2: I don't know, I don't know why I feel so
• 57:10
  Speaker 2: weird about it.
• 57:10
  Speaker 1: What if Johanna is at an age I'm even at
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: an age right where What if Beth and I had
• 57:15
  Speaker 1: a fucking kid, you know what I mean?
• 57:16
  Speaker 2: Like, I'm twenty five.
• 57:17
  Speaker 1: It's not unheard of having kid at twenty five. What
• 57:18
  Speaker 1: if Johanna was married with a kid, she's twenty seven.
• 57:20
  Speaker 2: I'll tell you what it is. My parents do it,
• 57:22
  Speaker 2: and I reckon this is relaidable. So many parents do
• 57:25
  Speaker 2: it when they host, even though you're related to them,
• 57:27
  Speaker 2: like parents, getting this weird little hosting mindset of like
• 57:31
  Speaker 2: pleasing everyone has to be pleased, and instead of like
• 57:34
  Speaker 2: pleasing everyone, they're sort of like not pleasing everyone, but
• 57:38
  Speaker 2: trying to please everyone. Yeah, and they're just getting confused instead,
• 57:41
  Speaker 2: and they're stuck. Instead of unpleasing your auntie and uncle,
• 57:44
  Speaker 2: they're like, oh yeah, we'll sort it out, and instead
• 57:45
  Speaker 2: of unpleasing you, like, oh yeah, we'll sort it out
• 57:47
  Speaker 2: with the host. It's weird. Yeah, they're just like, no,
• 57:49
  Speaker 2: we'll sort it everyone. Don't worry about it, sort it out.
• 57:51
  Speaker 2: And then it's like you feel bad.
• 57:52
  Speaker 1: Because you're putting them in this position of like we
• 57:54
  Speaker 1: need to make everyone happy, blah blah blah.
• 57:56
  Speaker 2: So it's like I will obviously.
• 57:58
  Speaker 1: Take the high road and I if I need to
• 57:59
  Speaker 1: go stay, I will, Yeah exactly.
• 58:01
  Speaker 2: But at the same time, I'm like, hmm, you should
• 58:03
  Speaker 2: fucking give me that froom. Yeah, Like why am I
• 58:07
  Speaker 2: like I'm your kid? Yeah, I think purely because you
• 58:10
  Speaker 2: have a girlfriend. I think we had one hundred percent
• 58:11
  Speaker 2: of be implied. Yeah, it's just I just thought it
• 58:15
  Speaker 2: was so interesting and like like a bit of a
• 58:16
  Speaker 2: champagne problem, Like it's not.
• 58:18
  Speaker 1: It's like, of all problems to have, it's probably a
• 58:20
  Speaker 1: great problem to have. But I just was like, can
• 58:21
  Speaker 1: you see what you thought?
• 58:22
  Speaker 2: Keen to see? Like maybe what all the baddies think?
• 58:24
  Speaker 2: Like any Yeah, yeah, I know, it's definitely a champagne problem,
• 58:28
  Speaker 2: but it's still a problem, man. Yeah, are you Another
• 58:30
  Speaker 2: funny thing, when my parents.
• 58:32
  Speaker 1: Lived here, they would go out for dinner with like
• 58:34
  Speaker 1: my parents, my two younger siblings, and they with my
• 58:37
  Speaker 1: stepmom's side of the family.
• 58:38
  Speaker 2: They'd always go get dinner.
• 58:39
  Speaker 1: On a Sunday and I was always invited, but I
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: was quite often in Sydney and so I didn't go.
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: And so my parents moved up to Queensland and my
• 58:48
  Speaker 1: grandparents they invite Joanna every every Sunday.
• 58:53
  Speaker 2: And they don't. So we don't know, like it's probably
• 58:57
  Speaker 2: maybe just like they send it to Joanna implying that
• 58:59
  Speaker 2: I'm invited. They just say like, hey, Janna, would you
• 59:02
  Speaker 2: like to come? I was like, fuck, I was going
• 59:05
  Speaker 2: to ask it might be too personally, you don't have
• 59:07
  Speaker 2: to ask it, and I'll cut it out if it is.
• 59:09
  Speaker 2: But because your family is stepmum now yeah, and half dad,
• 59:14
  Speaker 2: half stepmum, whatever, do you ever feel like slightly less
• 59:21
  Speaker 2: not like slightly less important, not important to speak, but
• 59:25
  Speaker 2: like less a priority or less invited like that situation,
• 59:29
  Speaker 2: Because that's a great question. You're half the situation, not
• 59:32
  Speaker 2: one hundred. That is a great question because I've never
• 59:34
  Speaker 2: felt that because obviously are still together, and I feel
• 59:37
  Speaker 2: like that's a hard thing to if you do feel that,
• 59:40
  Speaker 2: or anyone feels that, because there's a new family on
• 59:42
  Speaker 2: both sides of your family, that is actually a good question.
• 59:45
  Speaker 2: So on so here I would say yes. And the
• 59:52
  Speaker 2: reason being right.
• 59:55
  Speaker 1: Is like, so my dad is like me, it's kind
• 59:58
  Speaker 1: of like you and I right, just like go with
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 1: the flow and super easy going. And so because I'm
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 1: like that and he knows I'm like that, it's like
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 1: he it doesn't feel any need to stick up or
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 1: like properly formally do things because he knows what my
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 1: nature is like and that's your sorte of film and
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 1: that's and that's yeah. And then like my dad is
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 1: the one that's my bothers with dad, and then I
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: have a step momah, and so if there is everything
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 1: that needs a formal invite, she sends me the invite.
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but I know what you mean. It is weird.
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 2: It actually is different growing up with step parents.
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 1: Like like it's also like my step mom loves me
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 1: and my stepdad loves me, and I love him.
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 2: But I'm not an idiot.
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 1: Like my two half siblings. They obviously love them more
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 1: because that's their fucking real kid. I'm their step kid.
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 2: I understand they raised me from young Like, I'm not
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 2: an idiot in knowing that, like those two are obviously
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 2: more important, you know what I mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 2: it's an interest.
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 1: It is actually an interesting thing to feel, but you
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 1: just accept it because like if I was them and
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 1: I was a kid's stepparent and then with just this
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 1: kid's mum I had, I had a kid.
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 2: Like you definitely still love I'm kind of love the
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 2: kid that I made more like it's just it's an
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 2: instinctual thing. Yeah yeah, yeah, that's a good question though,
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 2: And I think it's definitely hard because you were lucky
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 2: and they were still pretty young. But like now you're
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 2: independent when you can realize those feelings. If you were
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 2: like fucking fourteen and fifteen and you're realizing, like, oh,
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 2: they like them better than me, like yeah, like fuck,
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 2: that's hard. Yeah, no, when you're young, you do realize that.
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 1: But some kids would probably like give a shit. But
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 1: I think from a young age I just had the
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 1: attitude of like, obviously she liked loves her kids more
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 1: than me. Obviously my stepdad loves kids, kids more than me.
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 1: They still did a bunch for me.
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 2: I know that's a harsh reality of it, but I
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 2: also think that's given you a lot of independence from
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 2: a young age and made you such a strong independent person.
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like things like from year seven, I was making
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 1: my own lunch, to do my own laundry, right, which
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 1: I think is like the best thing they ever did
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 1: for me. Yeah, I know how to make food, I
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 1: know how to do my laundry. Yeah, my younger brother
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 1: and sister that at my half siblings, they didn't do
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 1: that for them. Like my step mom she did their
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 1: laundry for them, like she just didn't want to do
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 1: mine for me, and maybe she wanted to teach me
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 1: to do it blah blah blah. Right, but like with them,
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 1: it's now I look at it as kind of a
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 1: thing of like, oh, well, now they don't actually know
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 1: how to do that, so it's like it's weird, like
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 1: you babied them more because obviously you fucking love them more. Yeah,
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 1: but with that has made it so they're less ready
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 1: for like the real world.
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 2: Like they made me get a.
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 1: Job, right, grateful as fuck for that. Those two they
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 1: like me and brother says they didn't need to They
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 1: don't have a job.
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 2: They didn't need to get a job.
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 1: Like, it's just funny. And it's like unintentionally or intentionally,
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 1: they just set me up slightly better and it's like differently.
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it is very it's funny. It's very funny. It's
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 2: very interesting.
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 1: He didn't ever talk about you being the youngest and
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 1: being like the favorite, and shit, I don't think I
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 1: don't know about the favorite.
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 2: Nah, I don't know. I think me and Eden completely
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 2: different people. My brother, like we're so different like characteristics wise,
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 2: like there was no comparison really, yeah right, we like
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 2: different things. And I don't think that I never felt that.
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 2: I always just remember being less independent Eden because he
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 2: was the firstborn. Yeah, like he always just like knew
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 2: what to do when I was always just like this
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 2: little bitch. And I feel like that's just like, yeah,
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 2: it's just like the classic like old older brother, like dynamic. Yeah,
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 2: very classic.
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 1: Okay, guys, thank you so much for listening. You guys
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 1: know what we do the end the episodes. We're gonna
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 1: call a lovely listener one of the baddies.
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 2: This is a nail.
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, let's call Jake or Jacob. I don't know, fingers crossed.
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 1: It's not our good friend Harry pranking. We hope you're real.
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 1: Ill Jacob.
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 2: This is Jake and Noty from the Relatables. How's it going?
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, let's go. We were like we thought
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 2: you were going to be one of our friends, sending
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 2: in like a prank one. I'm so happy you're real shots.
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 2: How good? How's it going? How are you very well?
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 2: How are you doing good? We wanted you to sign
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 2: off the episode. What have you got for us? Like
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 2: answer scrape on YouTube? Give us a five star rating
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 2: on Spotify. Please and thank you and yeah, enjoying the
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 2: rest of your days. Let's go. Thank you, Jacob, have
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 2: a good day. Thanks mate, Thank you so much much.
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 2: Stay bad