Latest / Your Money, Your Rules | Financial Mastery, Wealth Mindset, Leadership Principles, Intuitive Decision-Making, Human Design / 166 | Life-Giving vs Life-Draining Activities: Protect Your Energy and Focus
Transcript
- 0:00Erin Gray: Today on the podcast, we are going to be discussing the difference between life-giving and life-draining activities and how they affect every area of your life and ways for you to start looking at things from a more holistic and energetic view so you can become crystal clear on what you want to spend your time on and where you don't.
- 0:21Erin Gray: And if you have been here for a while and you want support and more of like a 30,000-foot view for me to show you where you're leaking your energy, where your mindset is with money, so that you can start transforming it, so that you can create more ease, more calm, more confidence in your life, you can schedule a discovery call with me by clicking the link in the show notes.
- 0:43Erin Gray: Also, I want to add that if you are new here, I want to say thank you for joining us and welcome.
- 0:49Erin Gray: I will be hosting a workshop on Tuesday, December 16th at 10 a.m.
- 0:54Erin Gray: Mountain Standard Time.
- 0:56Erin Gray: And that is where I'm going to be diving into this specific workshop, is about relationships.
- 1:01Erin Gray: So how to have a better relationship with your spouse, better ways to communicate and change, you know, your communication style with your spouse.
- 1:09Erin Gray: And all of the details are going to be in the show notes.
- 1:11Erin Gray: So you can just click the link in the show notes for both the workshop and if you want to have an introductory call with me for us to get to know one another and see how I can help.
- 1:21Erin Gray: So I wanted to do this podcast on life giving and life draining because I am an open book.
- 1:27Erin Gray: Everything that I go through, I'm willing to share with you guys.
- 1:31Erin Gray: And this morning I was feeling frustration, a little bit of agitation.
- 1:36Erin Gray: And I, you know, had to ask myself, I ask myself questions all of the time.
- 1:40Erin Gray: And I'm like, what are you feeling right now?
- 1:42Erin Gray: What is going on?
- 1:43Erin Gray: And I was like, I just need to journal.
- 1:44Erin Gray: And so I just journaled and came up with, you know, like, where am I leaking energy?
- 1:50Erin Gray: You know, life-giving activities energize you, they align with your values, they help you create and build momentum in your life, in your business, in your personal life, all of it.
- 2:03Erin Gray: It is going to feel more easy, more aligned, in tune.
- 2:10Erin Gray: I want to say less friction.
- 2:12Erin Gray: When we are doing life draining things, it depletes our energy.
- 2:19Erin Gray: It can also, like I was feeling this morning, right?
- 2:23Erin Gray: Like it brings up this frustration or agitation in my body.
- 2:28Erin Gray: You're going to have to tune in for you and see what it feels like for you.
- 2:32Erin Gray: But you will know because by how you feel.
- 2:35Erin Gray: It tends often to slow any type of growth.
- 2:40Erin Gray: So I am going to give you some examples in my life that are life-giving to me.
- 2:47Erin Gray: You, what you need to do is you need to run it through your filter.
- 2:50Erin Gray: You need to sit down with your journal and see what are the life-giving things for you and what are the life training things for you.
- 2:56Erin Gray: So for me, life giving is some type of form of exercise, moving my body, meditation, journaling, sitting in the sauna, doing this podcast, writing the podcast, and also obviously having this podcast, thinking, pondering.
- 3:15Erin Gray: I spend a lot of time thinking, contemplating, thinking about my clients, thinking about each of you.
- 3:20Erin Gray: How do I make more impact in the world?
- 3:23Erin Gray: Any type of client work, you know, coaching sessions and being with my clients.
- 3:28Erin Gray: Traveling, super fun for me.
- 3:30Erin Gray: Writing is very therapeutic.
- 3:34Erin Gray: I'm also in the process of writing a book.
- 3:36Erin Gray: So sitting down and writing and telling my story that is very life energizing for me.
- 3:42Erin Gray: Going to any type of my health practitioners, you know, chiropractic or emotional release, or, you know, I'm working with a lady for all of my hormones and food and just all of it, just overall holistic whole body.
- 3:56Erin Gray: Um, playing and resting and napping, reading, not all the time, but just reading sometime, right?
- 4:04Erin Gray: Listening, following my intuition.
- 4:06Erin Gray: That is very life energizing for me.
- 4:08Erin Gray: That is very quick.
- 4:09Erin Gray: It is a point fastest way to point A to point B for me.
- 4:11Erin Gray: Connecting with my loved ones and my immediate family and you know, spending time with friends, things of that sort.
- 4:17Erin Gray: So I want you to sit down and I gave you examples for me.
- 4:21Erin Gray: They may not be the same for you.
- 4:22Erin Gray: So what are they for you?
- 4:24Erin Gray: Life draining for me or more of like when I know when I have overcommitted myself.
- 4:30Erin Gray: And I would probably call this people pleasing, right?
- 4:33Erin Gray: When I'm saying yes too much, I think that we have become a society of yes, man versus no.
- 4:39Erin Gray: We need to say no more often.
- 4:41Erin Gray: We need to allow more space for us for the things that we truly desire to come through.
- 4:45Erin Gray: Where are we saying yes when we aren't really a yes for it?
- 4:49Erin Gray: Making decisions, this is something that I've recognized this morning.
- 4:52Erin Gray: Making decisions for people when they don't want to make them for themselves.
- 4:55Erin Gray: I'm very good at making decisions.
- 4:57Erin Gray: And so when I do, like let's say friends or family, where they don't really want to make decisions for themselves and then they're putting it back on me, it is this I feel it in my body.
- 5:07Erin Gray: It feels heavy, it feels draining.
- 5:10Erin Gray: So recognizing where are people trying to off, you know, put the responsibility back on me versus when I need to say no, you need to decide and you let me know when you're ready.
- 5:19Erin Gray: So just recognizing that was an awareness that I had this morning.
- 5:22Erin Gray: Any type of unnecessary meetings that people want to have, like what is the purpose?
- 5:28Erin Gray: Like I have started to ask more very specific questions.
- 5:32Erin Gray: Why are we going?
- 5:32Erin Gray: Like, definitely with our daughter's school.
- 5:34Erin Gray: Why are we going?
- 5:35Erin Gray: What is the purpose?
- 5:36Erin Gray: What are we going to talk about?
- 5:38Erin Gray: Where's the memo?
- 5:39Erin Gray: You know, like I want to know the details.
- 5:41Erin Gray: And more often than not, I'll I will opt out because it is not an effective use of my time.
- 5:46Erin Gray: It is something that we could probably say in a text message or in a quick email.
- 5:49Erin Gray: Any type of task done out of obligation, saying yes when you really want to say no, too much time with people for me drains me.
- 5:57Erin Gray: I love all of the humans.
- 5:59Erin Gray: I love being with people, and I also love being by myself.
- 6:02Erin Gray: It is this delicate balance that I have to walk.
- 6:07Erin Gray: And I shouldn't say have to walk.
- 6:09Erin Gray: I choose to walk because I love being with people.
- 6:12Erin Gray: That is energizing and life-giving for me.
- 6:15Erin Gray: But too much time with people and not enough time by myself and in my own space can feel draining at times.
- 6:21Erin Gray: So being very, very clear and aware of when I am sensing that.
- 6:26Erin Gray: You know, not eating the best foods for my body.
- 6:29Erin Gray: It is, it doesn't feel good to not eat, you know, really good foods and fuel my body.
- 6:35Erin Gray: So really spend some time today within this week to sit down and figure out what are the things that are really life giving, life energizing for me?
- 6:46Erin Gray: What are the things that drain my energy and feel like I'm like sloshing through mud?
- 6:51Erin Gray: Those are the things that we need to start eliminating from our life.
- 6:56Erin Gray: So I want you to think about every single area of your life.
- 6:59Erin Gray: Think about your business, think about your friends, think about where it is with money, think about where it is with your children, what about your spouse in your community?
- 7:08Erin Gray: Just go down the list and start looking at where am I, where are the things that are life-giving, where are the things that are, you know, draining for me?
- 7:18Erin Gray: And when we are doing these life-giving, energizing things, we do show up differently for ourselves.
- 7:27Erin Gray: You know, we show up differently for our spouse, for our children, our business, our friends, our loved ones.
- 7:32Erin Gray: And when we aren't, right, think about how it feels when you are doing stuff you don't enjoy doing.
- 7:39Erin Gray: It takes longer.
- 7:40Erin Gray: Our energy is slowed down.
- 7:42Erin Gray: And I want us to truly look at everything in terms of energy and frequency.
- 7:50Erin Gray: And when we move from that place, how I don't want to say how quickly we can speed up things because time isn't a thing, but we can collapse time because we're moving more efficiently.
- 8:02Erin Gray: And I don't think a lot of us think in these terms.
- 8:05Erin Gray: I think we value money a lot more than we value our energy.
- 8:11Erin Gray: And I know energy, money is energy, but our energy, how we choose to, you know, spend our time is a very valuable resource.
- 8:22Erin Gray: And I think a lot of us put more, more emphasis on money than we do on our actual energy and our resource with our time.
- 8:30Erin Gray: So really start to ponder write down where are your energy leaks, where are your energy enhancers or boosters or the things that like light you up really start to get clear there.
- 8:45Erin Gray: And the things that don't start to delegate them or eliminate them.
- 8:50Erin Gray: I can think of two things right now that I have asked my intuition about, and I have gotten a no to both of them recently.
- 8:58Erin Gray: And I've sat with them, I've ridden my wave, it feels really calm and neutral in my body, and I'm ready to make some changes there.
- 9:05Erin Gray: And so I want to say here that, you know, letting the things go, like once you get clear on where you are yes or where you are no and where you're gonna let go of some things, that's the simple part.
- 9:16Erin Gray: Like that, you could say, like, I'm not gonna do this anymore.
- 9:19Erin Gray: That's so simple.
- 9:20Erin Gray: But it's the the feelings that we are afraid or not willing to feel, that is the stuff that we need to work through.
- 9:29Erin Gray: Those lower level vibration emotions that we are probably gonna feel because that is what we are avoiding.
- 9:39Erin Gray: That's probably why we haven't, you know, stopped doing the thing yet, because we aren't willing to feel.
- 9:46Erin Gray: And yes, we get to choose to feel however we want to, but a lot of times when we are moving through some uncomfortable things, the reason why it comes up, those lower vibration emotions is because it comes up to be released, to be seen and to be let go of.
- 10:02Erin Gray: And so if we aren't choosing a more, I don't want to say harder path, but I just want to say like going for the obstacles, right?
- 10:11Erin Gray: Like going for the things that are a little bit outside of our comfort zone, but they are going to help us grow.
- 10:18Erin Gray: The reason why we want to do that is because we're going to be releasing some of these emotions that we have kept and held on to.
- 10:24Erin Gray: So I always like to say with clients, like schedule those life giving, those energy.
- 10:31Erin Gray: Um, like I always call it like lit up.
- 10:34Erin Gray: The lit up things, do those things first.
- 10:37Erin Gray: So I talk about big rocks and little rocks, you know, put your big rocks in your calendar first.
- 10:43Erin Gray: So for me, there's three things that are big for me.
- 10:46Erin Gray: It's me, like myself, my relationship with myself and God.
- 10:51Erin Gray: That is number one.
- 10:52Erin Gray: Two, my family, and three, my business.
- 10:55Erin Gray: Everything else gets put down wherever it can.
- 10:58Erin Gray: Okay, those are my three big rocks that I want to make sure that I take care of and I look at and I have time for every single week.
- 11:06Erin Gray: So put your big rocks on your calendar first, your time, your family time, like what values are important to you?
- 11:13Erin Gray: This is why it's so important to kind of do a calendar audit where you get to see, oh, what's on my calendar that I'm saying yes to that I don't really want to?
- 11:21Erin Gray: And what am I willing to let go of, you know, in order to have things on there that actually give me energy and light me up.
- 11:28Erin Gray: So the big rocks, they go on the calendar first and then put the little rocks throughout.
- 11:32Erin Gray: And if there isn't enough, and I'm air quoting, you know, space or time for the little rocks, then you're gonna get to decide.
- 11:41Erin Gray: Do you want to move some of that to the following week?
- 11:44Erin Gray: Like I had someone ask me for coffee and they wanted to meet um on one week, and I was like, I've already got my calendar planned.
- 11:50Erin Gray: I'm like, we're gonna have to do it the next week or the following week.
- 11:52Erin Gray: So it's it's going to take some practice of you, you know, being able to say to someone, like, listen, I I don't when I don't like saying I don't have time to meet, but like I already have a full plate this week.
- 12:07Erin Gray: What about the following?
- 12:08Erin Gray: Like I just told the person, like when they suggested one day, I just suggested the following week.
- 12:13Erin Gray: And they were like, Yeah, sure.
- 12:14Erin Gray: So really just, you know, being very clear on what are your big rocks, what are your little rocks, putting them in there.
- 12:21Erin Gray: And then if there isn't enough time for the little rocks, you get to decide, do you want to move it to the following week?
- 12:27Erin Gray: Do you just want to let go of something that's on your current calendar?
- 12:30Erin Gray: Um, so you're gonna have to play with this, you're gonna have to see like what feels good for you in terms of what are you doing that you love?
- 12:39Erin Gray: Because here's the other thing that when you do things that you love, I want to say two things here.
- 12:45Erin Gray: When you do things that you love, you you enhance or you have a higher vibration.
- 12:51Erin Gray: Second, when I say when you do things that you love, let's say that I'll just use podcasting.
- 12:57Erin Gray: I love podcasting, I love showing up for you guys.
- 13:00Erin Gray: And sometimes my brain's like, and I would rather go do something else today.
- 13:05Erin Gray: So I really have to check in and be like, okay, is that because you haven't been able to play enough?
- 13:10Erin Gray: But this, but the podcasting still gets done.
- 13:12Erin Gray: So if it is something that where my body's like, I need to move my body first, where you know, my mind originally thought, okay, I was gonna record at 1 p.m., but the body was like, I need to go move the body first.
- 13:24Erin Gray: I still take care of what I want to take care of and what I need to take care of.
- 13:30Erin Gray: But maybe it is the body needs to move or it needs to rest first and then it needs to.
- 13:35Erin Gray: But just notice if you are, if that is where you are, or if you are using it as a reason to not do something.
- 13:42Erin Gray: So the only way that you will know is if you check in with your body, you get, you know, you slow down, you get more clear, you ask yourself questions, you really start to see your patterns.
- 13:53Erin Gray: I know myself well enough now to know, like, oh, okay, I just needed to move my body before I sat down because actually moving my body gave me more energy to sit down and write all of my podcasts for this week.
- 14:04Erin Gray: So start asking yourself and thinking about in the life-giving or the life drain draining realms, you know.
- 14:11Erin Gray: And before you say yes to something, ask yourself, is this life giving or is this life draining?
- 14:16Erin Gray: You know, what you eat, your clients, your customers saying yes to your kids.
- 14:20Erin Gray: Like this happens a lot.
- 14:21Erin Gray: Sometimes I will say yes to my daughter, and I'm like, wait a second, I'm just kind of on an autopilot right here.
- 14:27Erin Gray: Maybe yes is the answer, but not yes today.
- 14:30Erin Gray: Maybe it's tomorrow or this weekend.
- 14:32Erin Gray: So really start to slow down and give yourself time to ask yourself when you are saying yes to things, is it from a true yes life-giving reason or you know, energy?
- 14:43Erin Gray: Um, you know, even your spouse or your family, even text messages have been very, very, um, I don't want to say specific, more so clear on okay, when am I going to text and when am I not going to?
- 14:57Erin Gray: Like really start to do these micro shifts, you know, all of it.
- 15:02Erin Gray: Pay attention to it, slow down and start asking yourself these questions.
- 15:06Erin Gray: Because ultimately, yes, this podcast is about money, but really what it is is about is our entire life, right?
- 15:16Erin Gray: Money is just the portal for me to get you to understand how are we behaving in every area of our life.
- 15:23Erin Gray: So when we are training ourselves in one area, it it will it will show up in another.
- 15:28Erin Gray: So just be very clear, be very cognizant and aware of where these are for you.
- 15:33Erin Gray: And this might be something that, you know, it's not going to happen overnight, but your awareness will grow.
- 15:38Erin Gray: You will practice this more often.
- 15:41Erin Gray: You will be begin to be stronger at telling people from a very loving place, I love you.
- 15:47Erin Gray: And this week is a no for me.
- 15:50Erin Gray: And that is going to take you willing to feel and be in the discomfort of what you may not want to feel in that moment.
- 16:00Erin Gray: But the more that you do it, the more that you practice it, the better you will get.
- 16:04Erin Gray: Okay, that's all I have for you today.
- 16:05Erin Gray: I love you.
- 16:06Erin Gray: I'm rooting for you.
- 16:07Erin Gray: Really start to look at yourself as such a precious asset commodity and really start looking at in terms of life giving versus life draining.
- 16:18Erin Gray: Okay, I'll see you in the next episode.