Latest / Wellbeing Solutions - Ask A Counsellor / How can I maintain boundaries without guilt?
Transcript
- 0:00SPEAKER_00: How can I maintain boundaries without guilt?
- 0:04SPEAKER_00: Setting boundaries is a form of self-care that protects your mental and emotional health by teaching others how to treat you.
- 0:13SPEAKER_00: Healthy boundaries are about personal guidelines that when respected can lead to stronger, more balanced relationships.
- 0:21SPEAKER_00: They set the emotional, physical and mental limits on what you are and are not willing to accept in a relationship.
- 0:29SPEAKER_00: They create a sense of safety, autonomy and can lead to a stronger connection.
- 0:36SPEAKER_00: It is a good idea to define what your needs are and also what you want from the relationship.
- 0:43SPEAKER_00: Maintaining boundaries without guilt usually involves two parallel shifts learning practical boundary skills and changing the beliefs that make boundaries feel wrong.
- 0:58SPEAKER_00: A boundary is not punishment or rejection, it is information about what you can realistically offer while still protecting your well-being, energy, values, time or safety.
- 1:13SPEAKER_00: Notice where the guilt comes from.
- 1:16SPEAKER_00: Guilt around boundaries is often connected to experiences such as being taught to prioritize other needs over your own, fear of conflict or abandonment, feeling responsible for other people's emotions.
- 1:34SPEAKER_00: You may want to redefine what boundaries mean for you, for example, saying no, asking for time to think, limiting emotional labour, protecting rest time, deciding how you want to be spoken to, choosing what information you share, leaving conversations that become disrespectful.
- 2:00SPEAKER_00: Healthy boundaries often improve relationships because expectations become clearer.
- 2:07SPEAKER_00: If you are thinking of harming yourself or feel unsafe, please call your local emergency number or crisis line.