Latest / Hoppe Radio (Hoppe Hour) With Ryan Hoppe / EPISODE 67!!! (The Hammerin Hank Show With Henry Ochs & Ryan Hoppe)

Transcript

EPISODE 67!!! (The Hammerin Hank Show With Henry Ochs & Ryan Hoppe) · Hoppe Radio (Hoppe Hour) With Ryan Hoppe

• 0:00
  What's up, Hammer and Hank? How the hell are
• 0:02
  you? What the fuck are you doing, buddy? How
• 0:04
  are you doing? Extremely good. If I hit the opening
• 0:08
  music, would you be ready to begin? Yes, buddy.
• 0:12
  Let's go. You're listening to The Hammer and
• 0:16
  Hank Show with Henry Oaks and Ryan Hoppy. Legend
• 0:32
  on the air, waist free. Autistic kingpin, Cali's
• 0:35
  hard OG. Wild 949, he the voice they need. Doghouse
• 0:39
  days, laying down the cream. Too legit to quit,
• 0:42
  Hammond and Hank on fire. Mic and head, lifeline
• 0:45
  and wire. Radio beast ain't showing no tire.
• 0:49
  Underdog champion, always going higher. What
• 0:51
  up? I'm Howard Hayes. How are you? How are you?
• 0:57
  It's really good. Can you believe? What episode
• 1:00
  do you think today is? Boom! 57! What is it?
• 1:05
  62! 67! Say it! 67! 67! You know how the kids
• 1:13
  were saying that last year? Remember? Remember
• 1:16
  when all the kids... Yes! We said it plenty of
• 1:19
  times. Alright. Hank! How you been? How's your
• 1:24
  week been? Extremely good! What you been up to?
• 1:28
  Radio shows for KCRH. So let's talk about that.
• 1:33
  You can catch my Hammer and Hank radio show every
• 1:37
  Tuesday and Thursday from 11 a .m. to 1 p .m.
• 1:41
  Pacific at kcrhradio .com. I was having a very
• 1:46
  dreadful birthday. Maybe something close to a
• 1:50
  midlife crisis. Not quite. But when you gave
• 1:53
  me the birthday shout out, it meant a lot. Thank
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  you, Hank. No, I'm thanking you for the birthday
• 2:01
  shout -out. You're welcome, buddy. Hammer it,
• 2:05
  Hank. What's been going on in your world? How's
• 2:08
  Smurfette? How's your sister? Good. Is she happy
• 2:14
  that you're doing another round of radio? Like,
• 2:17
  hey, CRH? Yep. I think we all are. Steve, you
• 2:22
  weren't sure if it was going to happen. I told
• 2:24
  you. How could they deny a legend like Hammer
• 2:28
  and Hank? Okay, buddy. Hammer and Hank, what
• 2:33
  is your radio memory of the week? My radio memory
• 2:38
  of the week? Actually, it's a constant memory.
• 2:42
  I went to the American Idol concert in 2006.
• 2:47
  What, when I was there? Yeah. Was Chicken Little
• 2:51
  there? Remember Kevin Kovias? Nope. Who was there?
• 2:56
  Dautry? Kelly Pickler. Hot piece of ass. Hot
• 3:02
  piece of ass, yes. Taylor Hicks who won the competition
• 3:06
  that year. Anything else? That was one of the
• 3:13
  best concerts I ever attended. That's awesome.
• 3:15
  That's good. You have that memory. How many years
• 3:18
  have you been in radio? 34. 34? Yeah. Your radio
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  career is older than me. Hammer and Ink, you
• 3:29
  got to have another memory at the top of your
• 3:31
  head. Maybe when you got head. And you're 34
• 3:33
  years of radio, dude. You got to have something.
• 3:36
  Yep. What is it? Today I celebrated my birthday
• 3:42
  at the Sound Factory in 1998. You got a blowjob,
• 3:47
  correct? Yep. Hell yeah. How long was it? Not
• 3:53
  too long. Yeah, that's how it usually is because
• 3:55
  they just want to get the pound town. Also, I
• 3:58
  snubbed my birthday at Surviving San Jose in
• 4:01
  1997. Oh, yeah. I bet the women were freaking
• 4:04
  hot that night. Yeah. I bet they were just out.
• 4:09
  I bet the ass over there was out. I bet it was
• 4:11
  just insane. That San Francisco hot ass women.
• 4:15
  Were there a lot of Latinas that night? Yep.
• 4:20
  You love Latinas. Fuck yeah. Alex, our program
• 4:26
  director at Hot 97 .7 said you need to swear
• 4:28
  more. So fuck yeah. Hammer and Hank love you.
• 4:32
  He loves his fucking women. Hammer and Hank.
• 4:37
  I need to laugh right now. Did you see how I
• 4:41
  was dealing with Instagram drama last night?
• 4:44
  Why are you dealing with fucking Instagram drama?
• 4:48
  I love how you swear. There is this account called
• 4:50
  Shitty Radio DJ or something. Have you heard
• 4:53
  of it? Yep. He made a post about your very close
• 4:58
  friend, Ryan Hoppy. I was driving down the road,
• 5:05
  Hank. And you know I don't agree with anything
• 5:08
  politically that Charlie Kirk said. But you know
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  I knew him growing up, correct? Okay. And I took
• 5:17
  a picture of the billboard and I said, I didn't
• 5:19
  agree with anything you said, but you did not
• 5:22
  deserve your ending. And this guy comes at me
• 5:24
  and starts attacking me. So I said to him, I
• 5:27
  said, you're not the savior of radio. Show your
• 5:31
  face. And then he made the post. That is our
• 5:36
  prick of the week. That is our prick of the week.
• 5:41
  What? That is my prick of the week too. I appreciate
• 5:45
  it. Shitty radio drop. Show your face. At least
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  the other consultants, you know what they look
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  like. Hank, if I hit the music, would you be
• 5:56
  ready for the jokes? Yes, buddy. Let's go. Why
• 6:28
  did I bring a ladder to the bar? Why? Because
• 6:33
  the drinks are on the house. Why did I take a
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  picture in my refrigerator? Why? Because I wanted
• 6:42
  a cool photo. Why did I bring the sisters to
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  work? Why? Because I wanted to cut my hours.
• 6:52
  That's what they did at my job. Why did I put
• 6:56
  my phone in the refrigerator? Why? Because I
• 7:00
  wanted to make a cold call. Mmm. Why did I bring
• 7:05
  a fucking helmet to dinner? Why, Hank? Because
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  I heard the food was mind -blowing. I mean, fucking
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  mind -blowing. You're adorable. Why did I bring
• 7:19
  a shovel to work? Why? Because I wanted to dig
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  into my fucking job. Mmm. Mmm. Why did I bring
• 7:29
  a banana to the fucking doctor? Why did you bring
• 7:32
  a banana to the fucking doctor, Hank? Because
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  it was healing well. Why did I bring a fucking
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  suitcase to the gym? Because I was carrying a
• 7:43
  lot of fucking extra baggage. Why did I bring
• 7:48
  a fucking microphone to the grocery store? Because
• 7:52
  I heard they had a great chicken line. And finally,
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  Yeah. Take a lift to fucking school. Why? Because
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  I wanted to get a fucking little rider. And that's
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  it for the jokes of this week. All right, if
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  I hit the music, are you ready for trivia? Yep.
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  Let's go. Turn on the show with Henry and Ryan.
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  Hot trivia questions, yeah, no lying. Got my
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  mind sharp like a blade that's flying. Got my
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  brain crying. Hammer and Hank's got the mic up
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  high. Hot piss playing to the end of the sky.
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  Gotta keep it real, can't let it slide. Answers
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  in my head, can't let them hide. Hot trivia,
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  yeah, we bringing the heat. Get your knowledge,
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  beat. What do you got? Top 10 hit records changes
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  way back in the mid -90s. Tupac! That's correct.
• 9:07
  It's one of my favorite hip -hop songs of all
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  time. And our album cover is Tupac -related today,
• 9:14
  so you'll enjoy that. Next. Hank! Oh, no. Did
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  the Zoom go out in the club? Oh, don't you like
• 9:29
  when the Zoom goes on? 856 -49 -HOPPY. It's 856
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  -494 -6773. You can tweet at me at RyanHoppyRadio.
• 9:42
  You can always email me, RyanHoppyRadio at gmail
• 9:45
  .com. The Wi -Fi has appeared to go out at my
• 9:50
  apartment. So we're going to reconnect with Hank
• 9:53
  and do our thing. Hank, can you hear me? Yes,
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  my computer froze. No, what happened was my,
• 10:02
  I'm using LTE right now. My Wi -Fi went out.
• 10:05
  Just my luck. So we're good. So, I was able to
• 10:11
  stall. Haver and Hank, any other trivia? Yes.
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  What is it? Who has a top ten hit record called
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  Me back in 1982? Toto? Hold on, I'm sorry. Hold
• 10:27
  on. Toto? Hold on. Who has a top ten hit record
• 10:31
  called Hold On back in 1982? Was it the band
• 10:33
  Toto? Nope. It was... Santana. Oh, wow. Anything
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  else? That's it for the trivia. All right, let
• 10:44
  me hear this. What do you think I'm playing?
• 10:49
  Church music. Hell yeah! How's church going?
• 10:54
  It was okay. How come? We just restarted studying
• 11:01
  the books of 2 Peter. Oh, yeah. Sucking off Peter?
• 11:05
  Or sucking Peter? Peter. Second Peter. What are
• 11:09
  you learning? How to become a better person.
• 11:12
  How to accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior.
• 11:15
  And how is the CV Fall Festival going? We'll
• 11:20
  be attending tomorrow. What is it? It's the Fall
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  Festival in Cache Valley. Oh, is it not religious
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  based? Nope, it's not religious. Oh! CV is because
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  of the Central Valley. Not the... Oh, so that's
• 11:39
  why they call that... That's why that's the name
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  of the church. I never knew that. Delightful.
• 11:45
  Ah, Hammer and Hank, what food are you going
• 11:48
  to get tomorrow? I don't know yet. We'll figure
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  it out. We got a listener comment here. Hammer
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  and Hank, I remember you from the doghouse with
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  JV and Elvis. Keep up the good work, doghouse!
• 12:02
  What? Doghouse! What? Hammer and Hank, if I hit
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  the music, would you be ready for Buddy of the
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  Week? Yes. Let me turn it up in the club. Autistic
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  genius, always keeping it dank. Henry Oaks on
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  the mic, hot riding shotgun. Roll call for the
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  buddies, we just having some fun. Buddy of the
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  week, we gon' get the crown. Bank bringing smiles,
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  shut the haters down. Alright Hank, who's your
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  buddy of the week? Breaking the code. My buddy
• 12:40
  the link is Tom Wolfian, who's my teacher through
• 12:44
  Oak College. Hell yeah, Tom. We love you, bud.
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  Hammer and Hank. He's trying to advertise to
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  giving back him to radio. You are back. It's
• 12:53
  commercial radio, that is. Commercial radio is
• 12:57
  not even in commercial radio, Hank. Don't take
• 12:59
  it personally. Hammer and Hank. Anything else?
• 13:06
  What's going on? If I had the money to wait.
• 13:09
  us out. From 97 .7? Yes. Is there anything else
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  on your mind? Yes. What's happening? Yesterday
• 13:27
  was 9 -11. The 9 -11 anniversary. Where were
• 13:30
  you on 9 -11, Henry? I was at home watching TV.
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  You weren't with the doghouse? I went over to
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  the dog house today. I went over to the dog house
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  today. Were you only there a few days a week?
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  I was only there about a couple days a week,
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  yeah. That's rude of them. What is your message
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  to people that have seemed to have forgotten
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  about 9 -11? We will never forget 9 -11. And
• 14:00
  all the events that happened that day. Yes, sir.
• 14:06
  Yes. Anything else on your mind? Yes. What's
• 14:11
  happening? I think about seeing the National
• 14:14
  Anthem at the Stockton Kings game later this
• 14:17
  season. Text me later all the teams you want
• 14:20
  to see. Have you heard from them yet? Nope. Let's
• 14:24
  make it happen, Captain. Let's make it happen.
• 14:28
  Let's make it happen. Is there? I did masturbate
• 14:31
  to Ariana Grande last night. Hell yeah! We go
• 14:34
  from church to my internet going out to you masturbating!
• 14:39
  Was it a... It was Ariana Grande. Was it a music
• 14:42
  video? You mean that I was at one of her concerts?
• 14:48
  Oh yeah, you know, just banging around. Mm -hmm.
• 14:53
  Oh, she been jerking it too, bud. Let me go,
• 14:58
  man. Britney Spears. Anything else on your mind
• 15:06
  besides your masturbatory habits? Yes. What's
• 15:12
  happening? Once again, be sure to check out my
• 15:16
  radio show called The Hammer Hank Radio Show,
• 15:21
  which is on the air every Tuesday and Thursday
• 15:24
  from 11 a .m. to 1 p .m., on KCRH 89 .9 FM Hayward,
• 15:32
  or you can listen online at kcrhradio .com. Hell
• 15:37
  yeah! Again, I love saying this. Anything else
• 15:42
  on your mind, Henry? Yes. What? Apply me at the
• 15:51
  Catcher Eye Fall Festival Smurfette tomorrow.
• 15:53
  If you are listening and you see him, Timmer
• 15:56
  and Hank at the festival. Go up and say hi. All
• 16:01
  right, go ahead and say hi, which is tomorrow.
• 16:05
  And if you're listening on Hot 97 .7, we appreciate
• 16:09
  it. Anything else, Hank? That's it. All right,
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  sign us off. I'm going to give a big shout out
• 16:17
  to all my fans out there. I love you very, very
• 16:20
  much. Talk to you again next week or this Tuesday
• 16:24
  at KCRH Radio 89 .9 FM Hayward or online at kcrhradio
• 16:29
  .com. Peace in your hood. Bye Hank. Bye buddy.
• 16:33
  Love you. Love you. Bye. Six, seven. Copy hour.
• 16:43
  Copy hour. RyanHobbyRadio .com The hour will
• 16:58
  be right back. You probably had Taco Bell before.
• 17:01
  Whenever we're going outside, all I smell is
• 17:06
  poop. We also need to be affectionate. And you
• 17:09
  can see that with Barack and Michelle as well.
• 17:13
  They do a lot of touching, kissing, even fisting.
• 17:17
  And we'll call it a day. The semen was so big.
• 17:22
  It's not lacking any meat. And that's what real
• 17:24
  women need. Hey. That's it. Busses. Stop cussing.
• 17:29
  It looks like you went and got a b***h job. On
• 17:32
  the iPad screen, whatever the case might be in
• 17:35
  your hand and a sock, you know, whatever. Like,
• 17:37
  thank you. But also, I would love to be getting
• 17:40
  railed, but as a reminder. Oh, yeah. Let me press
• 17:44
  this button right here. Don't worry, Fresno.
• 17:48
  The hour will be right back.