Latest / Pretty In Pink Again / Episode 53: Rediscovering Yourself After Divorce with Lauren McBride (Part Two)

Transcript

Episode 53: Rediscovering Yourself After Divorce with Lauren McBride (Part Two) · Pretty In Pink Again

• 0:00
  I'm Christina.
• 0:00
  And I'm T, and this is the Pretty and Pink Again podcast where motherhood meets with discovery.
• 0:16
  Hi guys.
• 0:17
  Welcome back.
• 0:17
  This is part two of the Lauren McBride podcast.
• 0:20
  If you didn't, hear last week's podcast, go back and listen to that.
• 0:24
  We left you on quite the cliffhanger This is a good one.
• 0:27
  And now we're gonna hear the rest of Lauren's story.
• 0:31
  So then take us back, because I always say and I truly mean this, when I was going through my own shit, especially with motherhood, I had this idea of starting the podcast, went to tea almost immediately about it, and we kind of concepted this idea of what this would be.
• 0:46
  But I had in my head a number of women that I wanted to talk to about it.
• 0:50
  Yeah.
• 0:50
  Like, I was like, there's people that I want to hear their stories because from the outside and like we've been saying, I've known you, I didn't know the ins and outs of everything that you've been going through.
• 1:00
  I think I've been privy to a little bit more than like the, the social media world, just knowing you.
• 1:05
  But I always thought from an outsider perspective and, and, and your motherhood journey that you did a fantastic job of.
• 1:15
  Going back and finding things that you loved mm-hmm.
• 1:18
  And making them a part of your life again.
• 1:21
  And we talk about how important that is.
• 1:23
  Vital breaking, vital important that is.
• 1:24
  Mm-hmm.
• 1:24
  It is vital to survival and happiness.
• 1:28
  And I also just think that there's something so magical about your kids seeing you do things Yes.
• 1:33
  That you love, like we've talked about this, like how important that is.
• 1:36
  So you, we had a conversation about a year ago.
• 1:38
  Yeah.
• 1:39
  And I was like, rattling off all this shit I would do if I had like a day by myself.
• 1:43
  Yeah.
• 1:43
  And I looked at Christina and she was like, don't even ask me that question right now, because I don't even know what I would do.
• 1:48
  I know.
• 1:48
  You know, tell me one thing.
• 1:50
  But if I asked her that right now Yeah.
• 1:51
  I think I could tell you all of the things that would make me feel like me.
• 1:57
  Right?
• 1:57
  Yeah.
• 1:57
  Like all of the things that, but it took a lot of work for you.
• 1:59
  It took a lot of work to find those things and really know what I still loved.
• 2:03
  Right.
• 2:03
  What ha what have I outgrown?
• 2:05
  What wouldn't make sense in my life right now?
• 2:07
  Right.
• 2:07
  But you went back to dance.
• 2:09
  I took And that was like something that you documented online.
• 2:11
  Did, I obviously knew the significance of that.
• 2:14
  Just knowing you because we danced together Yeah.
• 2:16
  Growing up.
• 2:17
  And even the few friends of ours that we, that we danced together with were like, yeah, she's back to dancing.
• 2:24
  Like, everyone was like, yeah, so fun.
• 2:26
  Like, this is awesome.
• 2:27
  Like this is inspiring.
• 2:28
  Like we should all go back.
• 2:29
  And it was, it was great.
• 2:31
  But I guess first of all.
• 2:33
  How did that come to be and what did that unlock in you?
• 2:36
  Yeah, so that goes back again.
• 2:39
  So this is, we're talking like 2020 on, right?
• 2:41
  Yeah.
• 2:41
  And so all these things kind of, it was me just kind of like during rediscovery phase.
• 2:44
  Yes.
• 2:44
  That's what we always say.
• 2:45
  Total rediscovery phase.
• 2:46
  Yeah.
• 2:47
  So my daughter's dance studio, so I actually became close with her dance coach who was a little younger than me.
• 2:55
  She's just very vibrant.
• 2:56
  She's kind of like sunshine in a, you know, in human form.
• 2:59
  And actually friends of mine had, we did a hip hop birthday party.
• 3:03
  That's what it was.
• 3:03
  Okay.
• 3:03
  'cause they knew I love my nineties hip hop nineties and two thousands.
• 3:06
  So we were like, they did put on this party where we basically went and did like an adult hiphop class.
• 3:11
  And I was like, this is so fun.
• 3:14
  Everything.
• 3:15
  So I started, then I asked my friend and I was, and she was like, yeah, you know, I was thinking of doing like an adult hiphop class.
• 3:23
  So that kind of started that.
• 3:24
  That was initially what it was.
• 3:27
  And then she ended up moving studios and so we moved it over to her new studio and that.
• 3:34
  So it's pretty awesome.
• 3:36
  Like what happens?
• 3:38
  This is where like Instagram is so fucking cool.
• 3:41
  Mm-hmm.
• 3:41
  Yeah.
• 3:42
  Um,'cause you guys met that way, right?
• 3:43
  Yeah.
• 3:44
  So I remember just putting it out there and being like, I'm going to hip hop.
• 3:48
  Anyone wanna join?
• 3:50
  The amount of people that came was like unreal.
• 3:52
  And the amount of friendships I now have from people being like, I'm gonna come'cause I used to dance.
• 3:57
  Yeah.
• 3:57
  It was such a shared experience.
• 3:58
  Yes.
• 3:58
  Some of those girls now are literally my core group.
• 4:02
  Mm-hmm.
• 4:02
  Of women that I love.
• 4:04
  Some who I actually, like.
• 4:06
  There's one girl that we actually, you know her, I won't call her name out, but like, we went to school with her, she graduated the year before we were freshmen.
• 4:14
  Mm-hmm.
• 4:15
  And she followed me on Instagram and was like, I really wanna come to hip hop.
• 4:19
  I don't know.
• 4:20
  I don't know.
• 4:20
  I don't know.
• 4:20
  She's like, I, I'm just kind of like nervous.
• 4:22
  And I was like, listen, we chatted a little bit.
• 4:24
  And I was like, you know me.
• 4:27
  I know we've like never actually met in person, but like we chatted on here.
• 4:31
  You're not gonna leave and be like, oh, that was a shit time.
• 4:34
  You know what I mean?
• 4:34
  Yeah.
• 4:34
  Like, we're just gonna have fun.
• 4:35
  Just, it doesn't matter what you're doing.
• 4:37
  It's just fun.
• 4:38
  It's just fun.
• 4:39
  She was like, you know what?
• 4:40
  You're right.
• 4:40
  She came that day we danced to the thong song by Cisco and um, it was the best.
• 4:46
  And now like, this is a friend I've gone on trips with.
• 4:49
  Yeah.
• 4:49
  And like, we've become so close and it's so funny'cause like, oh, we grew up in the same town.
• 4:52
  We never were friend.
• 4:53
  You know?
• 4:53
  Well, we love that story.
• 4:54
  Yeah.
• 4:55
  Because we, we share our story all the time and it's just like, yeah.
• 4:57
  Sometimes just.
• 4:59
  Put yourself out there.
• 5:00
  Yes.
• 5:00
  That's the whole thing.
• 5:01
  Like put yourself out there and sometimes the best friendships form from that.
• 5:05
  Yes.
• 5:05
  And like it's just don't overthink.
• 5:06
  Cool.
• 5:06
  No, you had so cool.
• 5:08
  And so like we, there was a few girls and that's kind of how that came out.
• 5:12
  Yeah.
• 5:12
  But like, it just kind of healed a little something in me because my dance experience as you know, like we did Pop Warner, I did dance in high school and that was when my parents were going through a divorce and like money was tight and I never shared this with anyone in high school.
• 5:26
  But like I quit and that was really hard.
• 5:29
  And.
• 5:30
  Tried to go back in college, but it was just hard to like juggle the time, manage it.
• 5:34
  And also like, again, I was kind of on my own and it was just really hard.
• 5:38
  So it kind of healed like a little, little part of me.
• 5:41
  Yeah.
• 5:41
  To go back and like, am I good at hip hop?
• 5:44
  No, I'm more of a ballerina.
• 5:45
  You know what I mean?
• 5:46
  So I'm like, whatever.
• 5:47
  It was just so fun.
• 5:48
  I made the best friendships out of it.
• 5:50
  I love that.
• 5:50
  Absolutely love it.
• 5:51
  So that was one thing I did, and then I got back into reading.
• 5:56
  Yeah.
• 5:56
  Which was something that I loved.
• 5:58
  Yep.
• 5:58
  I hadn't read in years and I can't, oh, I remember what it was.
• 6:02
  It was the idea of you.
• 6:03
  That was the book, which was now a movie, but I, I can't remember even like how, no, it didn't even start like that way.
• 6:10
  Okay.
• 6:10
  This is actually how this started, which is crazy.
• 6:12
  'cause again, it's all Instagram.
• 6:14
  I loved the show, Outlander.
• 6:16
  Oh, okay.
• 6:16
  And it was during COVID.
• 6:18
  No one was going anywhere.
• 6:19
  Mm-hmm.
• 6:19
  And so I started talking about it on Instagram and I had this group of women who were like, Hey, we love Outlander two and let's like talk about it on a weekly basis, but I didn't wanna clog my Your Instagram with it.
• 6:31
  Yeah, your Instagram.
• 6:31
  Yeah.
• 6:31
  So I created this other like random Instagram account so that, that was like where we talked Outlander.
• 6:36
  And it turned into this entire Outlander community.
• 6:40
  In the best way.
• 6:42
  The best way.
• 6:42
  They still, I no longer headed up.
• 6:44
  Like I have given it over, I've passed the reins onto two of the rurals who ended up coming on and like.
• 6:51
  Joining me on like live to talk about it, but it turned into the best community Friendships were formed, TikTok accounts formed from it that are now huge.
• 6:59
  Like two of the girls that would join us have their own podcast and TikTok and they actually like just hosted the red carpet event.
• 7:07
  Like, it's so cool to see how things happen like that.
• 7:10
  Yeah.
• 7:10
  Another shared experience.
• 7:11
  It's so cool.
• 7:12
  Coming together.
• 7:12
  Yes.
• 7:12
  We're all about the shared experience.
• 7:14
  Yes.
• 7:14
  And so then from that my, my friend Cheryl, who again followed me because I went on a Disney trip and then we had this shared love for Outlander.
• 7:23
  I don't remember how I got introduced back into reading Romance, but I started reading this book and it like brought back my love for reading.
• 7:32
  And so then from that, the idea of you, the idea of you.
• 7:35
  Yeah.
• 7:36
  So good.
• 7:36
  Mm-hmm.
• 7:37
  But, um, from that I reached out to my friend Cheryl and was like, Hey, I kind of wanna do a podcast.
• 7:42
  It's so cool because it's like a book club.
• 7:44
  Yes.
• 7:44
  For, yeah.
• 7:45
  It's a book club Yep.
• 7:46
  Where we talk romance.
• 7:47
  So that was super fun.
• 7:49
  I love it.
• 7:49
  But then obviously going through the divorce, romance has been kind of hard to read.
• 7:53
  Yes.
• 7:53
  So I've kind of, you know, and it ebbs and flows.
• 7:55
  Yep.
• 7:55
  So that kind of like, we haven't podcasted in quite some time.
• 7:59
  We're gonna try to get back into it.
• 8:00
  But from that though, we had this random idea where we were like.
• 8:05
  What if we did a vacation and we went on a vacation with a bunch of women who love to read.
• 8:13
  And that was truly one of the best things I have ever done in my entire life.
• 8:18
  And I can't tell you how many people judged me.
• 8:19
  And were like, you're going on a trip with like 24 women that you don't know.
• 8:23
  What do you think influencer are?
• 8:24
  Whatcha insane?
• 8:25
  I know an influencer know.
• 8:26
  And I'm like, what do you mean?
• 8:28
  You know how many times I've traveled with random people?
• 8:30
  I don't know.
• 8:31
  Guess what it is?
• 8:32
  I'm like shared experience.
• 8:33
  You have a similar job and you're put in a remote location.
• 8:36
  Yes, exactly.
• 8:36
  And guess what you form the most?
• 8:39
  Oh my gosh.
• 8:39
  Wonderful connections.
• 8:41
  And so to that point, like it's a silly thing to say.
• 8:45
  Yes.
• 8:45
  It's, it really is.
• 8:46
  It's, it's like people should say a lot of silly people.
• 8:49
  They do, but it's not so true.
• 8:50
  It's not open-minded at all.
• 8:51
  Because you really, if you're thinking that way, you're, you are really missing out on some very, very, very newborn.
• 8:57
  Exactly.
• 8:58
  Yes.
• 8:58
  Oh my gosh.
• 8:59
  That we went to Costa Rica and I am telling you that group of women, it was like second day.
• 9:05
  All hit it off that then became traveling to Bali, to Croatia, Iceland, Ireland.
• 9:14
  We have three trips this year.
• 9:15
  We're going to Italy in May.
• 9:16
  We're going to Portugal in September, and then we're doing the Christmas markets in Germany and Austria in December.
• 9:21
  But the group of women that has formed, is it the same group?
• 9:25
  Is it like, so a lot of, like, my one friend has come to every single one of them.
• 9:30
  Oh, that's so cool.
• 9:30
  Um, not everyone can just like budget wise, but we're always like, there'll be another one.
• 9:34
  You know what I mean?
• 9:34
  Yeah.
• 9:35
  But we've had other girls come in, it's actually crazy.
• 9:37
  We were in Costa Rica and we were having our little book club on the very last day of the trip.
• 9:42
  And there was another group, they were there for like a college retreat or something, and one of the girls overheard us talking about a book, and she comes over and she's like, I read Whatcha guys talking about Yeah, you're like, us.
• 9:55
  The whole night literally sat with us the whole night.
• 9:58
  Don't you know, she booked the next trip.
• 9:59
  No way.
• 9:59
  So now she's like a part of our little girl, you know?
• 10:02
  That's so cool.
• 10:03
  Cool.
• 10:03
  Have you ever cool been on vacation and seen somebody reading a book and be like, oh my God, I, you think literally every time I go away you see a book out.
• 10:10
  I'm like, oh, think of that.
• 10:12
  I don't know.
• 10:13
  It's become the best thing.
• 10:14
  So I actually just got back from Quebec City, which was not that trip.
• 10:17
  Yeah, I know.
• 10:18
  Yeah.
• 10:18
  But like, it was funny because I was sitting there and I was like.
• 10:21
  Man, I really wanna go to Quebec City.
• 10:22
  And you guys get it.
• 10:23
  Like, it's kind of hard.
• 10:25
  Everyone's in a different stage of life, right.
• 10:26
  And it's sometimes it's like the budget doesn't work, the dates don't work, whatever.
• 10:30
  It's No.
• 10:30
  Sometimes it's just really hard to, like, you could barely get girls together to get for, for dinner.
• 10:33
  Literal for wine or something.
• 10:34
  And like, again, going to Quebec City, I was like, oh man, I wish I just had like some girls who would just wanna go like on a whim.
• 10:40
  And then I go, wait a second.
• 10:41
  I do.
• 10:42
  I do.
• 10:42
  Yeah.
• 10:42
  Because we still have our chats, you know?
• 10:44
  Yeah.
• 10:44
  So I threw it out there.
• 10:46
  Seven of us were like, yep, we're in.
• 10:48
  Yeah.
• 10:48
  So this was not like an official plan?
• 10:50
  No, it was.
• 10:50
  All of us was.
• 10:51
  That's so cool.
• 10:52
  And it was so great.
• 10:53
  So.
• 10:54
  That has just been something so incredible.
• 10:57
  And it's like, if I didn't just put myself out there, like that's my biggest take home is like just do it.
• 11:02
  Whether it's going to the dance class or going wherever to the gym.
• 11:05
  Even like, you never know where you're gonna meet someone.
• 11:07
  Mm-hmm.
• 11:07
  And there's so many people in this world, why are you just, you know, you shouldn't be limiting yourself No.
• 11:12
  To like the people in your surrounding area.
• 11:14
  Yeah.
• 11:14
  Like I Right.
• 11:15
  One of my closest friends lives in Vancouver, like, you know, and I would've never met her if it wasn't from Instagram.
• 11:21
  So while like there's definitely the negatives.
• 11:24
  Yeah.
• 11:24
  I've had so much positive come out of just having a public presence on here.
• 11:29
  The positive being, the relationships I have formed these women they mean so much to me.
• 11:34
  Mm-hmm.
• 11:34
  And it's just been so cool.
• 11:35
  And we've done crazy shit on these trips, like zip lining or like repelling down cliffs and stuff.
• 11:41
  And it's like, it's really a good bonding.
• 11:44
  All because you share the same love for reading.
• 11:46
  Yeah.
• 11:47
  Like that's the coolest part.
• 11:48
  You have one common bond and now you're like friends for life.
• 11:50
  And the other cool thing about that, I was just explaining this to someone, is I think when you are a reader or you have that similar interest, whatever it might be, that's just one part of you.
• 12:01
  So it's actually bringing together women of all different backgrounds, everything.
• 12:08
  Yep.
• 12:08
  Everything.
• 12:08
  Yep.
• 12:09
  Everything.
• 12:09
  Right, right.
• 12:09
  Ethnicities, everything.
• 12:11
  Religion.
• 12:11
  Yes.
• 12:12
  Political standpoint.
• 12:13
  Everything.
• 12:13
  Everything, everything.
• 12:15
  And now you're traveling so you share the same love.
• 12:18
  For going and exploring new places.
• 12:20
  Mm-hmm.
• 12:20
  Right?
• 12:21
  Mm-hmm.
• 12:21
  It's really amazing how welcoming and open all of these women are to everyone.
• 12:27
  There has never, ever, ever been one weird instance, which is crazy.
• 12:31
  'cause that's always what I get asked.
• 12:33
  Do you ever get any like weirdos?
• 12:34
  No.
• 12:35
  You know why?
• 12:35
  Because like a weirdo's not gonna go on this trip.
• 12:37
  Right.
• 12:37
  You know what I mean?
• 12:37
  Like you have to pay to go on it.
• 12:39
  Right.
• 12:39
  Right.
• 12:40
  And if you're putting yourself out there to be with a group of women you don't know mm-hmm.
• 12:44
  And you're traveling to a place that you likely haven't been to and are now going in a group form, you likely have to be a very open-minded person.
• 12:51
  Yeah.
• 12:51
  Plus you're reading.
• 12:52
  Right.
• 12:52
  And I think there's something to be said about reading.
• 12:54
  We obviously read romance, but like there's a wide genre of romance, so you get like dark romance to L-G-B-T-Q.
• 13:01
  Right.
• 13:01
  And everything in between.
• 13:03
  So, and you have to be open.
• 13:04
  Exactly.
• 13:04
  You're open-minded.
• 13:05
  So it's really amazing.
• 13:06
  You have women from all different walks of life all going through something too.
• 13:11
  Right.
• 13:11
  So I've bonded with, with these women on divorce, I've bonded with women over like, I don't know, family stuff, all these things.
• 13:17
  Right.
• 13:18
  Like, and that's the beauty of it.
• 13:21
  It really, it, it's so special.
• 13:24
  And if we hadn't put ourselves out there, I love that so much those friendships wouldn't affords.
• 13:28
  And how ironic, because earlier in our conversation you said you had a fear of flying.
• 13:32
  I did.
• 13:33
  I know I was gonna I was gonna say that too.
• 13:35
  I was gonna say I did.
• 13:36
  No, now I'm like, TSA precheck global entry.
• 13:39
  And if like I'm traveling, I'm always like, listen, I'm not waiting for you.
• 13:42
  I love you guys, but another like part of you healing, you know, by taking out and wanting to travel, like I've always wanted to travel.
• 13:49
  Um, and that's But you may not have had the means Exactly.
• 13:53
  Or the time to do it.
• 13:54
  Yeah.
• 13:54
  Or the people travel with kids or the people to travel with, you know, maybe the people too.
• 13:59
  Exactly.
• 14:00
  It's like, yeah, because I was gonna say, what shifts when women travel without their families.
• 14:05
  Like, what do you think?
• 14:05
  Because I, I would feel like, you know, as a mom, you know, you get, you hear the mom.
• 14:10
  I'm rolling my eyes so no one can see it, but you know, it's, it's like, oh, well what about your family?
• 14:15
  Oh, all the time.
• 14:16
  I get, I get comments all the time.
• 14:17
  People are always like, she's away without her kids again.
• 14:20
  As if I'm like, never.
• 14:21
  Yeah.
• 14:21
  Like if you leave just in people.
• 14:23
  Yeah.
• 14:24
  Like it's, it's the, it's people.
• 14:26
  Yes.
• 14:26
  I get comments all the time.
• 14:27
  Oh, she's away without her kids again.
• 14:29
  I'm like, I'm with my kids every day.
• 14:30
  Well, literally every day.
• 14:31
  No, I think that that's a real thing.
• 14:32
  I mean, it's, yes.
• 14:33
  Maybe it's their own internal thing, but they feel like you should not travel without your family.
• 14:38
  This is when you, you should be with your family.
• 14:40
  Yeah.
• 14:41
  That's a thing.
• 14:42
  It is 1000.
• 14:42
  It's the thing that gets said.
• 14:43
  Yeah.
• 14:44
  But what shifts with without, without the family and doing something for yourself.
• 14:49
  You know, we are all about, this whole podcast is about giving yourself permission to do something for yourself because you're a better person, you're a better mother.
• 14:59
  Yeah.
• 14:59
  You can be a better partner.
• 15:01
  Yeah.
• 15:01
  When your cup is full.
• 15:03
  1000%.
• 15:05
  And I love traveling.
• 15:06
  My kids are so fun.
• 15:08
  And also I built them to be like really good little travelers.
• 15:10
  Right.
• 15:11
  But as you know, it's different.
• 15:13
  It's way different.
• 15:14
  It's a trip.
• 15:14
  It's way different.
• 15:15
  A vacation.
• 15:16
  Yeah.
• 15:16
  It's not, and it gets easier as they get older.
• 15:18
  Although now like they're at the age where they're kind of like always fighting and I'm like, listen.
• 15:22
  Uh, you all know how to act on this plane, so you better Yeah.
• 15:25
  You know, like you're like through your teeth trying to, you know I love traveling with them.
• 15:29
  They're so fun.
• 15:29
  Like, we love going to Disney.
• 15:30
  I'm gonna try to hopefully do that with them this year.
• 15:32
  'cause I'm like, yeah, right.
• 15:33
  So like, we have our moments, right?
• 15:36
  I would much rather go on a trip with my girlfriends than like my partner.
• 15:42
  Not, I don't have a partner, but you know what I'm saying?
• 15:44
  Yeah.
• 15:44
  Like, girl trips are so fun.
• 15:46
  So fun.
• 15:46
  They're so fun.
• 15:47
  I think you get to feel more like you.
• 15:49
  I am like, hell yeah.
• 15:50
  I'm in sweats the majority of the time.
• 15:52
  Yeah.
• 15:52
  I'm getting dressed up, I'm putting makeup on.
• 15:53
  I'm sitting by the pool.
• 15:54
  Yeah.
• 15:55
  I'm doing nothing.
• 15:55
  I'm gonna read, I'm gonna explore, I'm gonna have dinner.
• 15:58
  When do I get to go out to di I don't really go out to dinner here.
• 16:01
  Yep.
• 16:01
  It's just not to enjoy the experience.
• 16:03
  There is nothing to me, one of like prime moments of traveling with girls that men just will never freaking get Yeah.
• 16:10
  Is sitting and gabbing and getting ready with your girlfriends Totally.
• 16:14
  Before you go out.
• 16:14
  My thing, I think is like one of life's best joys.
• 16:18
  Yeah.
• 16:18
  Not having a rush.
• 16:18
  Literally like everyone just taking their time, doing their makeup and hair and being like so, so wonderful.
• 16:24
  Even better than the outing.
• 16:25
  Oh yeah.
• 16:25
  1000%.
• 16:26
  Or coming back after the outing.
• 16:28
  'cause you know, none of us really wanna stay out late anyway.
• 16:29
  Yeah.
• 16:30
  So we're like, let's go back and then like we're in pajamas and whatever.
• 16:32
  Everything is an outing every Yes.
• 16:34
  Washing our teeth in the market.
• 16:35
  Exactly.
• 16:36
  And it's not makeup, the hotel.
• 16:38
  Yes, exactly.
• 16:40
  It's like, so sharing purses, like, it's like I'm back in college.
• 16:44
  It's so nostalgic.
• 16:46
  It feels so good.
• 16:47
  It's so fun.
• 16:47
  And now mind you, I didn't really have that in college either.
• 16:50
  Yeah.
• 16:50
  Yeah.
• 16:50
  So for me it's like also healing a little of that.
• 16:53
  Yeah.
• 16:53
  Yeah.
• 16:53
  But, and you know, yes.
• 16:55
  Like I can go out to dinner here and stuff, but like.
• 16:58
  I, I think also everyone kind of prioritizes their life differently, right?
• 17:02
  So like, I would much rather take a trip than like buy a handbag.
• 17:06
  That's just me.
• 17:07
  There's nothing wrong either way, but like, I would rather go out to dinner on a trip than like go out to dinner here.
• 17:12
  Yeah.
• 17:13
  Um, mainly because I prefer to just cook at home and stuff like that, so it's just like extra special and like, especially I'm gluten and dairy free, so it's something I can eat.
• 17:21
  Especially if there's like a dessert I can eat.
• 17:22
  I'm like, hell yeah, I'm ordering that off the menu.
• 17:24
  You know what I mean?
• 17:24
  So it's just so fun.
• 17:27
  And you're not worried about who's tired or who wants a snack and all of that.
• 17:31
  There's a time and place for that, everybody.
• 17:32
  It's just very different's carrying their own, you know?
• 17:35
  Yes.
• 17:36
  And there's literally matter how good they're you're everybody's keeper.
• 17:40
  Yeah, exactly.
• 17:41
  And it's like, you don't have to be, you're tired, you're hungry, you're annoying.
• 17:44
  We gotta, and you know what's so funny?
• 17:46
  The first time, the first time I did a girls' trip without them.
• 17:49
  Now mind you, like I'm the one who's, oh, I'm, I am the, the planner.
• 17:53
  I'm the, assuming I'm booking the flights and booking the trip, I'm making sure everyone, I'm, I just show up.
• 17:57
  I wish shame, I wish no, I'm the everything.
• 18:01
  So when I first traveled without them, I forgot something and I was like, oh my God.
• 18:07
  I'm so used to being like.
• 18:10
  Yeah, with everything that now when it's just me, I'm like, what's happening?
• 18:14
  Yeah.
• 18:14
  You know what I mean?
• 18:15
  I'm like, I feel disorganized because I'm so used to being organized for them.
• 18:19
  You know?
• 18:20
  It's better now, but that was like a big thing for me.
• 18:22
  And in the airport with kids too.
• 18:24
  You know what I mean?
• 18:24
  You're like, everyone stay together.
• 18:26
  No walk in line, one pair in the front.
• 18:28
  You know what I mean?
• 18:29
  It's like a whole process.
• 18:30
  A patient just like being, having to worry about yourself.
• 18:33
  Yes, exactly.
• 18:34
  And I'm like, this is.
• 18:35
  Great.
• 18:35
  I don't have to wake up at a certain time.
• 18:37
  Yeah.
• 18:37
  We can like go for like a leisurely brunch.
• 18:40
  Who doesn't love brunch?
• 18:41
  Do we have brunch every day in Quebec City?
• 18:43
  Do you know what I'm saying?
• 18:43
  And that could have been at 1:00 PM or 11:00 AM like it didn't matter.
• 18:46
  My favorite thing of girls trips is just eating three meals.
• 18:49
  I know.
• 18:51
  Sitting and diving.
• 18:52
  Yes.
• 18:53
  Three.
• 18:53
  And taking your time.
• 18:54
  We had, we had time.
• 18:55
  Full breakfast, A full lunch.
• 18:57
  Yep.
• 18:57
  And a full lunch.
• 18:58
  And then even happy hour, like we did that we had, we had like this timeframe before.
• 19:03
  Before our dinner.
• 19:04
  Yep.
• 19:05
  And like after we did like some activity and we were like, do you wanna just like go sit in the lounge and get a drink?
• 19:10
  And like for me, I don't really drink.
• 19:12
  So that was like a hot water and lemon.
• 19:15
  Yeah.
• 19:15
  And like other girls are getting drinks and we're like.
• 19:17
  We just sat there for two hours.
• 19:19
  I know.
• 19:19
  Yeah.
• 19:20
  We like, this is great.
• 19:21
  Really into mint tea.
• 19:23
  We love a mint tea tea The end of the night.
• 19:25
  We love a fresh mint tea.
• 19:27
  I love it.
• 19:27
  So we like wrap up the cocktails.
• 19:29
  Mm-hmm.
• 19:29
  And then a round of mint teas usually comes out.
• 19:31
  And we know we're like, it's usually like a dark night.
• 19:34
  The, so we have a really Four question for you.
• 19:37
  Do you have fresh min that you can steep into tea for us?
• 19:40
  I'm gonna have to try that.
• 19:41
  Yeah, it's our thing.
• 19:42
  So you use fresh min, so like instead of a lemon and hot water, are you just doing mint and hot water?
• 19:46
  Hot water.
• 19:47
  Ooh.
• 19:47
  We had it for the first time at the polo bar in New York City and I was like, this feels very elite and fancy.
• 19:53
  It's, I love that.
• 19:54
  And now it's okay.
• 19:56
  You know what, I'm gonna do that because I love lemon and hot water.
• 19:58
  Yeah.
• 19:58
  It's so good.
• 19:59
  You need to try the one, but don't make it at home.
• 20:01
  Ugh.
• 20:02
  I know.
• 20:03
  It's not nothing to say at home.
• 20:04
  I know.
• 20:04
  That's, that's our luxury at the end.
• 20:06
  The night.
• 20:07
  I love it.
• 20:07
  Mis tea.
• 20:08
  No, it's so, it's just, and then you come back and you feel refreshed and you're like, yay, I miss my kids.
• 20:14
  You know what I mean?
• 20:14
  And like I went to Canada, my, they know all about Canadian snacks.
• 20:18
  I don't know if you guys know about Canadian snacks.
• 20:19
  Oh, so good.
• 20:20
  All dressed chips are my favorite thing.
• 20:23
  So they were like, mom, you need to bring back the chips.
• 20:26
  You need to bring back this chocolate, so they know I'm coming back.
• 20:29
  I got all the goods.
• 20:30
  Yeah.
• 20:30
  Love it.
• 20:30
  Right.
• 20:31
  And so I, but I think it's good, especially in this scenario in particular in divorce, right.
• 20:37
  They get special one-on-one time with their dad, which truthfully is making him a better dad.
• 20:43
  You know, like we're actually co-parenting really great and he gets to enjoy them.
• 20:49
  They get to enjoy him.
• 20:51
  And then when it's my time with them, it's, it's, you know, it's my time with them and it makes me a better mom.
• 20:57
  There's no arguing anymore.
• 20:59
  There's no, none of that, like toxicity.
• 21:01
  Like this was just very much the right move.
• 21:03
  And obviously it is hard for them, but they're actually adjusting really well.
• 21:08
  And I really think if you're in the middle of a divorce, I really think what's important is, is that if you can co-parent, and this is not, I realize that this is so not the case with the majority of divorce.
• 21:22
  But co-parenting well is honestly like a gift.
• 21:25
  Mm-hmm.
• 21:25
  And it's a gift for them.
• 21:29
  And I think what a lot of times people get very caught up in their own shit with the divorce.
• 21:33
  And I get it, like it's really hard.
• 21:34
  But I know my main thing has just been them.
• 21:38
  Like, and, and yes, it's hard for them to have to go back and forth, but.
• 21:43
  Keeping them in mind the whole time is really what's made it better.
• 21:49
  And you know, we have our schedule, we still both see them pretty much every day.
• 21:53
  So it's not like they're with him.
• 21:55
  They went to him last night, they'll be with him today's Thursday.
• 21:59
  Right.
• 21:59
  I don't even know what day of the week it is.
• 22:00
  They'll be with them tonight and it's my weekend for them.
• 22:02
  So my weekend for them, I'm like, we're gonna go take snowboarding lessons.
• 22:05
  We're gonna go have fun, we're gonna go do this.
• 22:06
  So fun.
• 22:07
  Mm-hmm.
• 22:07
  I'm able to, like, I feel more like me and doing things that, because I don't have someone to do it with me now.
• 22:14
  Right, right.
• 22:15
  So it's either like, that was a, a, a, a, um, challenge for me too.
• 22:18
  Like, okay, I'm gonna take the kids just me to go do like this big thing.
• 22:24
  Right.
• 22:24
  Something new.
• 22:24
  That's scary.
• 22:25
  Yeah.
• 22:25
  Without, yeah.
• 22:26
  You don't have another support person.
• 22:27
  Exactly.
• 22:28
  Right.
• 22:29
  And that was challenging at first, but it's like, what's the reward like with that?
• 22:32
  It's like, I could do it.
• 22:33
  Right.
• 22:33
  You know, like, and it's great.
• 22:35
  And we had fun and non shows up bright.
• 22:37
  Yeah.
• 22:37
  And you know, they still have, you know, they're kids.
• 22:39
  Right.
• 22:39
  We went tubing and they were like, eh, I am cold and why do I have to wait in this line for so long?
• 22:44
  And, and I don't like how the helmet feels.
• 22:45
  And I'm like, we just gotta get up the thing and I swear you're gonna like it once we get up there.
• 22:50
  And then they were great.
• 22:50
  And they were fine and whatever.
• 22:52
  Right.
• 22:52
  And it was fun so it's just, it's been really rewarding in that aspect too.
• 22:57
  And I think they also do see a happier, better mom.
• 23:00
  Yeah, sure.
• 23:01
  And it is an adjustment.
• 23:02
  Right.
• 23:02
  But I also will say like, again, I just feel a lot lighter.
• 23:06
  I'm sleeping so much better.
• 23:08
  I feel like my cortisol levels have dropped.
• 23:11
  I've had a lot of people just be like, you feel very different.
• 23:14
  Yeah.
• 23:15
  And it's not to say things aren't hard.
• 23:18
  Obviously that comes with its own challenges and like the first month of being on my own and then navigating their emotions was obviously a challenge.
• 23:25
  Mm-hmm.
• 23:26
  But I just feel like I'm finally back to, I feel like me for once in my life.
• 23:33
  Like I've never actually felt like this person, you can do the hard stuff.
• 23:36
  Yeah.
• 23:36
  Yeah.
• 23:37
  Yeah.
• 23:37
  And it's really awesome.
• 23:39
  And I'm saying yes to more.
• 23:42
  I actually got, so with my.
• 23:44
  This tattoo is my favorite tattoo that I got.
• 23:46
  It says, be here now.
• 23:47
  And I got this a few years back.
• 23:50
  Like, while all this stuff like out coming outta my anxiety, because again, as I said, I used to really like be high anxiety.
• 23:58
  Yeah.
• 23:58
  That's always thinking ahead.
• 23:59
  Big message.
• 24:00
  That's how my mind is never here.
• 24:01
  Never, never here.
• 24:02
  And so I truly live in the present and that is something that is like, has been Yeah.
• 24:10
  So amazing.
• 24:11
  And I, that's why I was like, I'm tattooing it on my arms so I can look at it every day and like remember it.
• 24:15
  It's very, very like powerful reminder.
• 24:17
  And I think it's something that needs to be practiced.
• 24:19
  Yeah.
• 24:20
  You know, when you don't have that mindset, it really does not come naturally.
• 24:24
  You're always looking.
• 24:24
  It's hard for the next thing.
• 24:26
  Yes.
• 24:26
  What's the next thing?
• 24:27
  It's like ingrained.
• 24:28
  That's how my mind works.
• 24:29
  Yeah.
• 24:29
  So it is a practice to try to have to be in this now.
• 24:33
  Yeah.
• 24:34
  Yeah.
• 24:35
  And I feel like it's just, I just feel so much better.
• 24:40
  Like I feel like there was a really dark time there for a long time.
• 24:44
  Mm-hmm.
• 24:44
  And I'm still going through it.
• 24:45
  Right.
• 24:45
  Like I'm still in therapy.
• 24:46
  I'm starting some pretty intensive therapy and things like that just to like, because I also don't wanna, you know, I think our generation is also trying to not pass on Yes.
• 24:56
  Like a lot of previous gener.
• 24:57
  Sure.
• 24:57
  Yeah.
• 24:57
  You know what I mean?
• 24:58
  Yeah.
• 24:58
  Yeah.
• 24:59
  So I'm like, that's really important and I wanna make sure, and like my parenting has changed a lot too in that sense.
• 25:07
  But I just feel so much better, which is why it's like, if you don't like that, I don't care.
• 25:13
  Yeah.
• 25:14
  You know?
• 25:14
  So you feel confident now with who you are because you very much So you know who that is.
• 25:18
  Yes.
• 25:18
  So it's okay to Yeah.
• 25:20
  For somebody to not like that.
• 25:21
  Yeah.
• 25:22
  Yeah.
• 25:22
  To be unapologetic about it.
• 25:23
  Before you weren't even sure who you were and you were showing up Yeah.
• 25:26
  To be all the people around you.
• 25:29
  Yeah.
• 25:29
  And if somebody didn't like you, maybe you would've taken that more personal then.
• 25:32
  Right.
• 25:32
  Right.
• 25:32
  cause you didn't even know who that person was.
• 25:34
  Right.
• 25:34
  Right.
• 25:34
  And I think people do mistake this because everyone's like, oh, like you're in your, I don't give a fuck era.
• 25:39
  Not really.
• 25:40
  The thing about like not giving a fuck is that you actually do very much give a fuck.
• 25:45
  Yeah.
• 25:45
  You do.
• 25:45
  You know what I mean?
• 25:46
  You care Yes.
• 25:46
  About the things that matter the most.
• 25:50
  Yes.
• 25:50
  So you don't give a fuck about all the other stupid, the noise about the noise.
• 25:55
  I just don't, I don't, and at this point, it's like, I don't want anything coming into my life that's going to add mm-hmm.
• 26:00
  Any negativity.
• 26:01
  Mm-hmm.
• 26:02
  Um, I'm very firm with my boundaries.
• 26:05
  I'm very particular about those things.
• 26:07
  And it's like, if you make me feel a certain way, you're out.
• 26:10
  Like, I just can't, I don't want to even approach it.
• 26:13
  And it's not like I'm mean or anything, it's just like.
• 26:16
  Nope.
• 26:17
  That's just not working for me.
• 26:18
  I say I think that some of it, because we've talked about this too here, some of that I do think is just going through your own shit, right?
• 26:26
  Yeah, totally.
• 26:26
  And you kind of, anytime you go through a hard time, you kind of come out of it, with a different perspective, 1000%.
• 26:32
  But I would always hear as you go into your forties of you just shed this.
• 26:37
  Yeah.
• 26:37
  I don't care about any of that shit anymore.
• 26:40
  Mm-hmm.
• 26:40
  And so I think it's a little bit of both.
• 26:43
  Yeah.
• 26:43
  Some of it is just life experience and some of it's aging.
• 26:46
  Mm-hmm.
• 26:47
  And I do think that that's very refreshing when you kind of get to that point.
• 26:50
  And I feel it happening with like, all three of us in this room for our own different reasons so I think that that's a good thing.
• 26:56
  Yeah.
• 26:56
  Right.
• 26:57
  Like, yeah.
• 26:57
  Like, I'm actually looking forward to, I feel like thirties are like your your decade of like really figuring out who you are.
• 27:06
  I had with multiple hats on, and I had a, I had a lot of pressure in my mind about what thirties would be, and I'm, I'm shifting that to forties, right?
• 27:15
  Yeah.
• 27:15
  Like I really am like, I'm like, okay, thirties was, was good.
• 27:20
  You know, there was a lot of amazing life changing things that came from that.
• 27:23
  But I think truly that forties are it, I agree.
• 27:26
  Like that's what I really do feel like.
• 27:28
  And I, I think a lot of it's mindset.
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• 28:28
  So.
• 28:29
  This is something that I'm excited to ask you about is your, yeah.
• 28:32
  This is Teeth thing.
• 28:32
  Is your foundation and your philanthropy work?
• 28:34
  Yeah.
• 28:35
  cause when Christina was telling me about this, I was like, she has a 5 0 1 C3.
• 28:38
  Yeah.
• 28:39
  Do you know how hard it is to get that status in Connecticut?
• 28:42
  No.
• 28:42
  The answer is no.
• 28:43
  People don't know how hard it's to not only found one, start one.
• 28:47
  Mm-hmm.
• 28:47
  And you mastered that.
• 28:48
  So tell us about it.
• 28:49
  I dunno about mastering, I'm trying to, but, so this, um, this is something that is really special to me now, Christina probably remembers our, the nurse in our high school always did like adoptive family and stuff like that.
• 29:02
  Yeah.
• 29:02
  And I was a nurse's aide, so I was very close with her.
• 29:05
  And I just really enjoyed helping her.
• 29:07
  And I had some experiences during that that were just really touching for me.
• 29:11
  So I always knew I wanted to connect what my platform, right.
• 29:16
  Because if you have this influence, like let's try to influence in a good way too, you know, like in a more charitable way I should say.
• 29:23
  Yeah.
• 29:23
  So I, over the years I've done certain things to help give back.
• 29:28
  Like I had a motherhood Facebook group one time and we really helped like clear some Christmas lists and, you know, give people things that they needed.
• 29:35
  But a couple years back I.
• 29:37
  This came out of the blue.
• 29:39
  I was wearing a dress.
• 29:41
  Yes.
• 29:41
  Always.
• 29:41
  Yeah.
• 29:41
  As mo.
• 29:42
  Yes.
• 29:43
  Right.
• 29:43
  I was wearing a dress and I was like, man, I wish I had somewhere to wear this dress.
• 29:47
  And someone was like, you should have a charity event where everyone gets to like dress up and like gowns.
• 29:52
  And I was like, that sounds like that's best idea.
• 29:54
  That's a best.
• 29:55
  So we planned that in 75 days we joked that it was like our own 75 hard, having no idea how to do any of that.
• 30:02
  And it was the best.
• 30:03
  I am now working closely with the Umbrella Center for Domestic Violence, specifically for this gala.
• 30:09
  And we are getting ready to do our third year with it.
• 30:13
  But last year I was like, I actually think I would love to help on a bigger level and also just keep things very separate from like what, you know, my Instagram and all of that.
• 30:23
  Like let's make this this own thing.
• 30:25
  So I did create my foundation.
• 30:27
  It got my 5 0 1 C3, which I'm really proud of.
• 30:30
  And um, you know, last year was just hard for me in general, so I had more plans than what kind of panned out, but that's okay.
• 30:38
  Like, you know.
• 30:39
  Slow and steady.
• 30:40
  Slow and steady always.
• 30:40
  Yep.
• 30:41
  So I have some plans for that, but basically the foundation will help women focused charities around the state of Connecticut and, and beyond, honestly.
• 30:48
  Um, but the umbrella center is very, very special to me.
• 30:52
  So that's the beneficiary for this year?
• 30:54
  For the gala?
• 30:54
  Yes.
• 30:55
  Wow.
• 30:55
  So they, this will be the third year that we've supported them.
• 30:58
  They are an incredible charity.
• 31:00
  I've learned a lot about domestic violence and it happens to more people than you'd realize, like one in four women.
• 31:06
  And so we put on this gala again, it's our third year and it is so much fun.
• 31:11
  It is truly the best night if you guys aren't doing anything.
• 31:14
  Another girl.
• 31:15
  March 28.
• 31:16
  Yeah, we're gonna come March 28.
• 31:17
  I would love to have you There it is.
• 31:19
  We'll be there.
• 31:20
  So fun.
• 31:20
  You get, when do you get to dress up and like, and it's only women.
• 31:24
  Yep.
• 31:24
  And you go And we have vendors like local Connecticut vendors.
• 31:29
  That are sponsoring it, they'll be there.
• 31:30
  We actually, this year we have my tattoo artist, we have the girl who does my piercings.
• 31:34
  They're doing popups.
• 31:35
  We have little like boutiques popping up.
• 31:37
  Um, and then you're just dancing your ass off all night.
• 31:40
  And then we have auction items.
• 31:42
  The best part of the wedding.
• 31:43
  Yes.
• 31:43
  Right.
• 31:44
  Basically like a wedding without the wedding.
• 31:45
  Yeah.
• 31:46
  Your brother DJs it.
• 31:47
  My brother DJs it.
• 31:48
  Yep.
• 31:48
  So it's just so much fun and this year we've really, we've taken feedback from the past two years.
• 31:56
  Like every year we're just trying to improve a little bit more.
• 31:58
  Mm-hmm.
• 31:58
  So I'm really pumped for this year.
• 32:00
  I think it's gonna be incredible.
• 32:01
  And, it's just fun and uh, your ticket alone it goes back to the charity.
• 32:07
  Mm-hmm.
• 32:07
  A portion of it.
• 32:07
  Mm-hmm.
• 32:08
  And then obviously the auction.
• 32:10
  Those items, we've had really incredible auction items come through.
• 32:13
  So you, when you're bidding on the auction, that money is going back to the charity.
• 32:17
  The past, I think we've raised almost$40,000 in the past two years.
• 32:22
  I would love to raise more.
• 32:24
  I have high hopes for this year, but yeah.
• 32:26
  Do you have sponsors?
• 32:27
  Yes, we do have sponsors.
• 32:28
  The Sea Salt Medical Aesthetics in Old Saybrook is a sponsor this year.
• 32:32
  Um, but we do have some other sponsors.
• 32:35
  So our sponsorship.
• 32:36
  Sponsorship opportunities.
• 32:37
  There are sponsorship opportunities in a variety of ways.
• 32:40
  Everyone gets a swag bag when they walk in, so you can add something to the swag bag.
• 32:44
  We do have sponsorship packages that include like social media mentions mm-hmm.
• 32:47
  Or program mentions.
• 32:48
  Yep.
• 32:48
  And then also tickets.
• 32:50
  And the event is in Branford, the event is at Bill Miller's Castle in Branford on March 28th.
• 32:54
  Okay.
• 32:55
  It is, everyone is invited.
• 32:56
  All the PIs are invited.
• 32:57
  Everyone invited.
• 32:58
  And we can, we wanted to get all this info to you so that if you obviously wanna attend the event, you can.
• 33:03
  Yeah.
• 33:03
  If you wanna donate in any way or become a sponsor in any way, you can hit up Lauren.
• 33:07
  We would love that.
• 33:07
  And work together for that.
• 33:08
  Yeah.
• 33:09
  'cause we do think it's a really amazing cause I love that you've done this.
• 33:12
  TT when I told her she came back with all of this, like, wow, she really did that.
• 33:17
  'cause it's philanthropy is really her lane and she knows how, and I didn't really realize how much that is.
• 33:23
  And it's an extension of you.
• 33:24
  Yes.
• 33:25
  Yeah.
• 33:25
  It is.
• 33:26
  Yes.
• 33:26
  And again, it's been a learning curve the past couple years.
• 33:29
  Yeah.
• 33:29
  I feel like I finally have like anything, everything, everything.
• 33:32
  Yes.
• 33:32
  You need to treat everything.
• 33:33
  Yep.
• 33:34
  So it's been, um, interesting, but it's so incredible and that charity is so wonderful and what they do for women is amazing.
• 33:42
  And this year we're doing a lot of fun things at the gala to tie back to the charity.
• 33:46
  So, um, like my mom is an artist and she's actually painting a canvas and we're gonna have everyone sign Oh, cool.
• 33:53
  Amazing.
• 33:53
  That's attending the gala and it's actually gonna hang in the shelter.
• 33:56
  So it's like just very special.
• 33:58
  So yeah, like that's probably, and again, like the girls on the trips that I, they're all flying in.
• 34:04
  Yeah.
• 34:04
  Like, there's people who fly in to come to it.
• 34:06
  Yeah.
• 34:06
  And it's just the best, like the, it's the actual best night.
• 34:10
  It's so fun.
• 34:10
  And I'm there like, I'm right in the crowd dancing with everyone.
• 34:13
  Yeah.
• 34:13
  Like I, it's, that's what I wanna do.
• 34:14
  Like, who doesn't wanna dance?
• 34:15
  So think is funny that when you started describing yourself, you were like, I'm really not a leader, I'm a follower.
• 34:19
  Yeah.
• 34:21
  They literally, everything you've talked about in your latter years are like, is like the example of what a leader is.
• 34:26
  Well, you've grown into that role yourself for sure.
• 34:30
  People follow you.
• 34:31
  Yes.
• 34:31
  They're interested in.
• 34:32
  You're doing.
• 34:33
  Yeah.
• 34:33
  And all these is different, but you're doing important things and I feel like people have a very high bullshit meter.
• 34:37
  Yeah.
• 34:38
  Yeah.
• 34:38
  People aren't gonna follow you if what you are doing is like Yep.
• 34:41
  If you're full of shit.
• 34:42
  Yeah.
• 34:42
  Yeah.
• 34:43
  No, and that's where, you know, I'm just, I just look at it as I've been gifted with this platform.
• 34:49
  Yeah.
• 34:49
  And if I could just leave a mark in some way that's positive.
• 34:53
  Right.
• 34:54
  Whether it's, you know, just encouraging people to put themselves out there and grow and evolve and, you know, try new things or, you know, help charities that are focused on women in some way.
• 35:04
  Like that's really what, that's awesome.
• 35:05
  So this is Lauren McBride Foundation.
• 35:08
  The, yeah.
• 35:08
  Lauren McBride Foundation.
• 35:10
  Gala's Night Out.
• 35:11
  It's Gala's Night Out Gala.
• 35:11
  Gala Night.
• 35:12
  Which is Gala.
• 35:12
  Gala Gals.
• 35:12
  Yep.
• 35:13
  Gals for the gals.
• 35:14
  Yes.
• 35:14
  That'll be so fun.
• 35:15
  It's in support of the Umbrella Center for Domestic Violence.
• 35:18
  We will, we're gonna leave all of this information with the link in case you guys wanna check this out and buy tickets to it.
• 35:23
  It'll be in our show notes.
• 35:24
  Show notes.
• 35:25
  So we're gonna do a little rapid fire q and a Okay.
• 35:29
  From our listeners.
• 35:30
  Okay.
• 35:30
  Because we put it out to my audience, the Pippa audience, t put it out to her audience.
• 35:35
  We just, like, we pulled everybody, we put it out to yours.
• 35:38
  We got so many questions and the range of them was actually quite hysterical.
• 35:44
  Everything, you know, we'll, we'll get it, we'll get into it.
• 35:47
  But, so a lot of it, obviously, understandably, wanting to know about when and where to like end their marriage.
• 35:56
  Mm-hmm.
• 35:56
  And I'm sure this is coming from people who are probably feeling the same way as you.
• 36:00
  Yeah.
• 36:01
  So one of them was how did you find the strength and know it was time to end your marriage?
• 36:05
  I know we talked about it a little bit.
• 36:07
  Little bit.
• 36:08
  Um, you know, it's, it's very hard to make that decision and honestly, I know several people also going through it.
• 36:15
  Mm-hmm.
• 36:15
  And there's kind of like this period of limbo where you're like, do I, do I not?
• 36:18
  Do I not, do I not?
• 36:19
  But I think ultimately I heard this somewhere, if like 80% of your marriage is great and 20% is not so great.
• 36:29
  That's, that's pretty good.
• 36:30
  Like no marriage is perfect.
• 36:31
  Right.
• 36:32
  But if like 80% is not good.
• 36:34
  Mm-hmm.
• 36:34
  And 20% is good.
• 36:36
  It's, it's, it's okay.
• 36:38
  I think a lot of times we're like, oh, divorce.
• 36:40
  No, no.
• 36:41
  But honestly, life is short.
• 36:42
  You get one life.
• 36:44
  Right.
• 36:44
  And if you're unhappy and you feel like you've tried all the things, it's likely not going to improve.
• 36:53
  I mean, there might be cases where it does, and honestly, what I've learned is that when a woman is checked out, she's checked out.
• 36:59
  Mm-hmm.
• 37:00
  Um, it's really hard to come back from being checked out.
• 37:03
  And I think it's very different for women than it is for men.
• 37:06
  You know, we are emotional beings.
• 37:08
  Yeah.
• 37:08
  So if we're, if our needs aren't being met and, you know, all of that, it's just very hard to come back from that.
• 37:14
  So you really need people to, people who are very, very, very devoted to changing and making it work.
• 37:21
  Mm-hmm.
• 37:22
  And that is hard.
• 37:22
  Mm-hmm.
• 37:23
  So honestly, it's, I mean, I know people now, and I remember being there and I'm like, all right, you're just not, I get it.
• 37:31
  Like, you're just not there yet, but I can promise you the grass is actually greener.
• 37:35
  Mm-hmm.
• 37:36
  And it's okay.
• 37:37
  It's okay.
• 37:38
  Like every, it's gonna be okay.
• 37:40
  You know?
• 37:40
  You just have to come to that decision and, and know that, like, again, it's, it's.
• 37:46
  Really not worth being miserable.
• 37:48
  Even for the kids.
• 37:49
  I think a lot of people are like, oh, but the kids, but the kids.
• 37:51
  And that was my thing, was I don't wanna ruin my family with my kids or for my kids, but unhappy parents don't make for happy kids.
• 37:58
  Mm-hmm.
• 37:59
  You, I would rather be in a split home and be happy so my kids can see me being happy than be married and miserable.
• 38:08
  And then that's the energy my kids are feeling in their one home.
• 38:13
  In their one home.
• 38:13
  In their one home.
• 38:13
  Right.
• 38:13
  Um, exactly.
• 38:14
  Right.
• 38:14
  And so it, it will be okay.
• 38:17
  Mm-hmm.
• 38:18
  I'm sure a lot of people need, need to hear that message.
• 38:20
  Yeah.
• 38:20
  Yeah.
• 38:21
  It was, there is hope.
• 38:22
  It was quite astounding how many Yeah.
• 38:23
  Of those.
• 38:24
  And again, I don't think it was coming from a place of prying as it is.
• 38:27
  Yeah.
• 38:27
  People really are, they're looking for these topics to be addressed mm-hmm.
• 38:32
  By somebody that they trust, you know?
• 38:34
  And, and somebody that, to tee's point, like is not gonna give and feed bullshit to them.
• 38:38
  Yeah.
• 38:38
  You know?
• 38:39
  Yeah.
• 38:39
  Okay.
• 38:39
  Somebody, this is a much lighter, um, question.
• 38:42
  Well, we got the range.
• 38:43
  I'm telling you the range was hysterical.
• 38:45
  We wanna know what your coffee order is.
• 38:47
  Well, I guess, I know, I know what it is.
• 38:48
  Well, we do know it today, but honestly that's not even my go-to coffee order.
• 38:51
  My go-to would be a good chai latte with coconut milk.
• 38:55
  Mm.
• 38:57
  I love anything cinnamon spice.
• 39:00
  Yeah.
• 39:00
  So we'll go back to old Lauren.
• 39:02
  Mm-hmm.
• 39:02
  What is one childhood memory that you treasure?
• 39:05
  Mm-hmm.
• 39:06
  Um, growing up before my parents divorced we used to travel to St.
• 39:11
  Martin with my family, with my cousins a lot.
• 39:15
  And that is, I think that's more my love for the Caribbean came.
• 39:19
  Mm-hmm.
• 39:19
  I was very spoiled in that, in that regard.
• 39:21
  Um, so going there and being there with my cousins was honestly just like the best time, really anytime where I got to travel with other members of my family.
• 39:30
  Yeah.
• 39:30
  Like I can remember going skiing at o Kimmo with my other set of cousins and like, that's where, you know, when you get like the cousins together.
• 39:38
  Yeah.
• 39:38
  Cousins.
• 39:39
  I honestly, I do feel like when you vacation with extended family, those are very memorable trips.
• 39:45
  I feel like that's very relatable.
• 39:46
  I do.
• 39:47
  Yeah.
• 39:47
  So I love that my sisters and kids, and I often think to myself, I'm like, these are their memories.
• 39:51
  Yes, it is.
• 39:52
  You know, we still talk about it.
• 39:54
  We joke about that all the time.
• 39:56
  That's fun.
• 39:56
  So it's, yeah, those are just like my, my favorite.
• 39:59
  So another one is, this came from somebody who said they were in their forties.
• 40:03
  And she said that you seem like such a confident version of yourself.
• 40:07
  Mm-hmm.
• 40:07
  And she's struggling with confidence.
• 40:09
  So how do you build or rebuild confidence in this stage of life?
• 40:13
  Like some actionable tips maybe.
• 40:16
  Okay, so that's a really good question.
• 40:17
  It is a very good question.
• 40:18
  We kind of talked about your evolution of gaining on this podcast.
• 40:21
  Yeah.
• 40:21
  My biggest tip would be to literally not compare yourself to anyone.
• 40:26
  And I know that's hard and like you might need a little bit of a social media break or unfollow people that you find yourself comparing to and fill yourself with those who are more inspiring.
• 40:36
  You have to be willing to spend time alone with yourself.
• 40:39
  Being alone with yourself can be a little scary, but it's also really rewarding because you can just like, figure yourself out a bit.
• 40:47
  Think about the things that bring you joy and make you happy, and don't be afraid to put yourself out there.
• 40:52
  Mm-hmm.
• 40:53
  That is the scariest part of all.
• 40:55
  Like, I still have not gone to dinner by myself yet.
• 40:57
  That's something that I, it's a goal of mine for this year.
• 41:01
  I've never traveled by myself.
• 41:02
  Maybe you start at the bar.
• 41:03
  Yeah.
• 41:03
  Yeah.
• 41:04
  I was thinking that.
• 41:05
  Um, and I never traveled by myself and then I was like, wow.
• 41:07
  Actually going to an all-inclusive resort where I just sit by the pool.
• 41:10
  Yeah.
• 41:10
  And do nothing.
• 41:11
  You know about The founder.
• 41:12
  Sounds pretty fabulous.
• 41:12
  Founder.
• 41:12
  Thanks Sarah.
• 41:13
  The founder of Spanx, on her 50th birthday, she sent herself on a vacation by herself.
• 41:19
  By herself.
• 41:19
  Sounds wonderful.
• 41:19
  And I remember following her on social media during this trip and I was like, what a gift.
• 41:24
  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 41:25
  I don't think I could do it like in Europe, but I could definitely go and sit my ass by a girl.
• 41:30
  Yeah.
• 41:30
  Like a beach.
• 41:31
  Yeah.
• 41:31
  Where you just, I mean, relaxed.
• 41:32
  Yes.
• 41:33
  I could do that.
• 41:33
  I agree.
• 41:34
  Order room, service, breakfast, sit in a row like I could that a treat.
• 41:37
  Um, but really just be okay being alone and put yourself out there.
• 41:40
  Try new things like whether it's an exercise class or a dance class, I promise you just like actually walking in the door is gonna be the hardest part.
• 41:48
  Yes, yes.
• 41:49
  And you will not regret going, like, you have to remember that.
• 41:52
  You're not gonna be like, Ugh, that sucked.
• 41:53
  That was no fun.
• 41:55
  You just have to be okay doing that.
• 41:57
  But the biggest, biggest thing I think in, in the world of social media, it's very easy to compare.
• 42:01
  Like, I've done it, you know, I've done it.
• 42:03
  We talk.
• 42:03
  Yeah.
• 42:04
  And even, you know, what I do lately instead of browsing social is I'll just browse Pinterest and like see what kind of calls.
• 42:09
  That's more I to me's.
• 42:10
  Yeah.
• 42:11
  And just like figure out, oh, you know what, like, I love how that looks like.
• 42:15
  That feels very, you know.
• 42:17
  Without the noise.
• 42:17
  Exactly.
• 42:18
  Without the noise of it all.
• 42:19
  So that would be my biggest thing.
• 42:20
  Yep.
• 42:21
  You know, but yeah.
• 42:21
  Unfollowing those who are not benefiting you in any way and maybe following, or maybe if you make you feel a certain way.
• 42:27
  Yeah, I know.
• 42:28
  Yeah.
• 42:28
  It's like, even, and listen, it ebbs and flows.
• 42:30
  It's, I do it on the spot.
• 42:31
  Me, me too.
• 42:32
  You know what I mean?
• 42:33
  I'm like, yeah, we do.
• 42:34
  I'm like, sometimes I'm just like, I'm not, if this has happened more than once, you know?
• 42:38
  Yeah.
• 42:38
  I'm out.
• 42:38
  I'm like the, I'm sorry.
• 42:40
  This is making me feel a certain way.
• 42:41
  I gotta go.
• 42:42
  You know?
• 42:42
  And I don't, I don't announce myself.
• 42:45
  No.
• 42:46
  Uh, yeah.
• 42:46
  Yeah.
• 42:46
  Note to everyone.
• 42:47
  Yeah.
• 42:47
  You don't need to announce your purchase.
• 42:48
  I quietly leave.
• 42:49
  You just unfollow and don't say anything.
• 42:52
  Yeah.
• 42:52
  Because who knows, you might change your mind and come back and follow.
• 42:54
  Don't burn bridges.
• 42:55
  You know what I mean?
• 42:55
  So can we just mute?
• 42:57
  Or you can mute.
• 42:58
  That's a great, that's a great in between silent exit.
• 43:02
  I agree.
• 43:02
  I agree.
• 43:03
  Everybody knows that's, that's a way to do it without making a, a statement I follow or a block.
• 43:07
  Yeah.
• 43:07
  Right.
• 43:08
  We need to be making statements like that.
• 43:10
  Exactly.
• 43:10
  And then much, much lighter.
• 43:12
  And I have to, I have to laugh about this.
• 43:14
  And I'm curious t so somebody asked, since we're in Connecticut mm-hmm.
• 43:19
  Um, for thoughts about Gilmore Girls, I've never watched it.
• 43:24
  I Gilmore girls have to do with Connecticut.
• 43:26
  I think it's Did you watch it?
• 43:28
  No.
• 43:28
  Okay.
• 43:29
  Okay.
• 43:29
  So I also have not fully watched, it's based in Connecticut.
• 43:34
  Supposed to be based in Connecticut, supposed to based that much.
• 43:37
  I know Connecticut.
• 43:40
  It all the way through.
• 43:41
  I'm assuming it means it, it has no relevance because like the three of us are remotely No, it's not.
• 43:46
  I I guarantee you if I watch it, I'm gonna be like, that is not it.
• 43:49
  No, that's not repping us.
• 43:51
  I guarantee you.
• 43:52
  I have heard Washington Depot I think is the town that it's like based off of.
• 43:56
  So is it like Litchfield County?
• 43:57
  Like supposed to be Litchfield?
• 43:58
  I think.
• 43:58
  Well, no.
• 43:59
  'cause doesn't it take place in like doesn't she go to Yale or Oh, she goes to Yale.
• 44:02
  Yeah.
• 44:02
  I don't, don't even watch Legs down closer to there.
• 44:05
  So like, I would say probably has nothing to do with the vibes.
• 44:10
  No, not at all.
• 44:10
  Like I couldn't tell you.
• 44:11
  Maybe if we have a Gilmore Girls, maybe it does fan base.
• 44:14
  I don't know.
• 44:14
  I'm sorry.
• 44:15
  I'm sorry.
• 44:16
  I don't need to contribute.
• 44:18
  That's so funny.
• 44:18
  I already know I was mortified when I saw that question'cause I was like, oh, I've never watched that and I thought that maybe you have.
• 44:23
  And I'm like, I know I'm gonna get some text messages from one specific person who I know is gonna watch this and she's gonna text me and be like, you've never watched Gilmore Girls.
• 44:32
  I'm be like, where did Gilmore, no.
• 44:35
  Lemme ask, ask the Bible.
• 44:37
  The AKA chat.
• 44:40
  I was gonna say it's a chat.
• 44:41
  GBT.
• 44:43
  It's but definitely supposed to take place in Connecticut.
• 44:46
  Hollow.
• 44:46
  Hollow Connecticut.
• 44:47
  Yeah.
• 44:47
  So that doesn't exist.
• 44:48
  I don't know what that is.
• 44:49
  Not far from Hartford.
• 44:50
  See, and that's where we're so no, that's not true.
• 44:53
  So funny.
• 44:54
  Laura works in Hartford.
• 44:55
  Rory attended.
• 44:57
  Oh, I am Shelton, which was a private school in Hartford and then Yale New Haven.
• 45:01
  I don't, no, this is not real.
• 45:02
  No, I'm sorry guys.
• 45:03
  I'm not sure about that.
• 45:06
  Have no relevance on my life.
• 45:07
  You know what?
• 45:08
  Closing with that.
• 45:09
  Closing with that, we're gonna move into our pink spotlight, which, so every week I know we're gonna have probably a ton of new listeners here.
• 45:16
  Yeah.
• 45:16
  Because of Lauren.
• 45:17
  So our pink spotlight.
• 45:18
  Each week T and I sit here and we share a tip a like something that we're spotlighting for the week that has improved life a little bit for us this week.
• 45:26
  So it could be like a person, place, think, tip, something.
• 45:30
  We've heard something we're doing a product we're loving.
• 45:33
  Yeah.
• 45:33
  Product, A person, anything.
• 45:33
  It could be kind of anything.
• 45:34
  So mine this week, speaking of all the things that we've talked about, are.
• 45:40
  The importance for me of having a group chat about really trashy tv, like it is literally gives me life and like tell me, lies just wrapped.
• 45:50
  Right?
• 45:50
  Oh my God, I have so many thoughts on that.
• 45:52
  And I looked back at my, my group chat was going at it all week.
• 45:56
  Like we have just been like, you know what?
• 45:58
  I have that chat.
• 45:59
  Send a group chat like that.
• 46:00
  Let me tell you something I'm gonna is, I mean, you have the book podcast.
• 46:04
  It's similar to that except it, we are in no way, shape or form.
• 46:07
  Like we are wild over there.
• 46:09
  Like the things that we send each other.
• 46:11
  It's, we just have theories.
• 46:12
  I have been group chatting with this group.
• 46:15
  For over 10 years.
• 46:17
  Oh my God.
• 46:17
  We started with Pretty Little Liars.
• 46:19
  Like when Pretty much that.
• 46:20
  I'm telling you, this is like the trash of the trash tv.
• 46:23
  Yeah, it is.
• 46:23
  Like we have no business watching this stuff and we are in it.
• 46:27
  And we're not only just like passively watching, we're like sending each other theories and we think about it, like sometimes I'll wake up and I'm like, the first thing I'm doing, I'm like, I just thought of something.
• 46:37
  Or like, it's like the middle of the night and I'm sending Yeah.
• 46:39
  Add value to this is literally unhinged.
• 46:42
  Oh my gosh.
• 46:42
  It's unhinged and I It is, it is.
• 46:45
  Love this.
• 46:45
  It's giving me, I've had it and it, I love that.
• 46:48
  It's like part of my life.
• 46:49
  And it is so funny.
• 46:50
  I usually mute group chats, but this was, no, no, no.
• 46:53
  This, I have people I text, like I text my one friend.
• 46:56
  She said to me, she goes, she keeps reminding me, she goes, the tell me Lies series finale is out.
• 46:59
  Yes.
• 47:00
  Go watch it.
• 47:01
  You like.
• 47:01
  And then I came back and I was like, you need a group.
• 47:03
  Yeah.
• 47:03
  You need, I know you to break it down.
• 47:05
  Yeah.
• 47:06
  And you watch something like that.
• 47:07
  Like who are you gonna go to?
• 47:09
  It wasn't thrilled with that.
• 47:10
  Who's gonna listen to, to your rants about something that you know, and like, these are people that like get heavily involved in it.
• 47:16
  And what's funny is it's not a group.
• 47:19
  It's not like, like your home friends, your moms Yeah.
• 47:22
  A little bit of a mix.
• 47:23
  Yeah.
• 47:23
  Yeah, yeah.
• 47:24
  And it's just like the people who like live for this stuff.
• 47:27
  Yeah.
• 47:28
  I'm part of it with the show and it, it is life changing.
• 47:30
  Shout out to all that they know and listen.
• 47:33
  And I love you guys.
• 47:34
  It's one of my favorite things.
• 47:35
  And so it, this is very, has inspired me and so I Maybe we will have to throw it out that Lauren will and t will join the group chat.
• 47:43
  We'll freaking watch.
• 47:44
  Throw more girls and then we'll just all roast it.
• 47:49
  We'll be like, I don't know.
• 47:51
  Love it.
• 47:51
  It's, it's, it's around that era.
• 47:53
  It's like it's gotta be so with daughter because it's, maybe, I wonder if we could watch Oh, because it's a mother daughter thing.
• 47:59
  It's like on Netflix now.
• 48:00
  Yeah.
• 48:01
  You probably could.
• 48:02
  I'd have to.
• 48:02
  Someone has to, will someone tell us if that's appropriate for a 10-year-old?
• 48:05
  I think it is.
• 48:06
  I think this is like soapy.
• 48:07
  This isn't like, tell me lies.
• 48:08
  Like, I think it's like, I'm pretty sure my kids, there's not Tell me lies.
• 48:12
  Chaotic, you know, toxic.
• 48:14
  Oh my gosh.
• 48:15
  That show.
• 48:15
  Oh my goodness.
• 48:16
  So I, I gotta throw that out.
• 48:17
  That show makes me feel so much better about my life.
• 48:18
  I gotta throw that out.
• 48:19
  Woo.
• 48:19
  Yep.
• 48:19
  I gotta throw that out.
• 48:21
  Find an unhinged group of women to watch some trashy TV with and it is.
• 48:26
  Everything.
• 48:27
  Love it.
• 48:27
  Everything.
• 48:28
  Love it.
• 48:28
  What about you?
• 48:28
  I'm here for it.
• 48:29
  Okay.
• 48:30
  So I have a product this week.
• 48:31
  So when we went skiing over the weekend, I don't know, over like New Year's, I forgot a bra.
• 48:36
  I forgot to bring a bra.
• 48:37
  I'm gonna turn this off.
• 48:38
  Mm-hmm.
• 48:39
  And like who forgets to bring a bra?
• 48:41
  I had a sports bra on and I was like, I'm not gonna have a bra for the whole weekend.
• 48:44
  So we got to my girlfriend's house, like to get ready before we went to this like New Year's Eve party.
• 48:49
  And I said to her sister, I was like, I forgot a bra and there's no way I can fit in your sister's bra.
• 48:54
  And she was like, I have a bra.
• 48:56
  Take my bra.
• 48:56
  I'm like, really?
• 48:57
  You have an extra bra?
• 48:58
  She's like, yes, take it.
• 48:59
  So it was this like skims bra.
• 49:01
  Ooh, skims.
• 49:02
  I have it.
• 49:03
  Oh, I wanna see.
• 49:04
  I don't really wear, I have one on today.
• 49:06
  I skin, but I don't really wear bras.
• 49:08
  Like this is like a barely their bra.
• 49:09
  Oh, that's nice.
• 49:10
  Oh, and it's, I think it's called the for everybody bra.
• 49:14
  Ooh.
• 49:15
  cause it really is like for everybody.
• 49:16
  'cause I don't like to wear anything that I can feel.
• 49:19
  Yeah, same thing.
• 49:20
  I like a nothing there bra.
• 49:22
  That's why I mainly wear nipples or cakes.
• 49:25
  Ooh, okay.
• 49:25
  Yeah, I have a bra on today, but usually I don't even pack one.
• 49:29
  Well this bra, that's good to know.
• 49:31
  I'm gonna have try that.
• 49:31
  So took her bra home, I'm wearing her bra today and I bought my own black and nude and it is my favorite bra.
• 49:39
  Okay.
• 49:39
  I love it.
• 49:40
  It looks back forth forth between the two.
• 49:42
  Is it sizing or is it just like small, medium skims?
• 49:45
  No, it's sizing.
• 49:46
  It's a medium.
• 49:46
  Okay.
• 49:47
  I'm taking a medium but small.
• 49:48
  I think they, I mean, I don't know.
• 49:49
  The skims website's like Right.
• 49:50
  Extra, extra, extra small.
• 49:51
  All Yeah.
• 49:52
  Yeah.
• 49:52
  Yeah.
• 49:52
  Extra, extra large.
• 49:53
  So mine's a medium.
• 49:54
  Love that.
• 49:55
  All right.
• 49:55
  I'll, and I don't, I couldn't even tell you though what my bra size is'cause I haven't bought a bra.
• 50:00
  Yeah.
• 50:00
  In probably like 10 years.
• 50:01
  Yeah.
• 50:01
  Since I was in Nordstrom.
• 50:02
  Highly recommend going and getting an actual bra fitting.
• 50:05
  Yes.
• 50:05
  And I also highly recommend ThirdLove because they do like in-between sizing, because I've been in between like cup, they do like a, like a c and a half or something, which is like, yes.
• 50:16
  So like, that's like very expansive with sizing too, which is great if you're in between.
• 50:20
  I, me too.
• 50:21
  I love my cakes.
• 50:21
  I walked across Do, have you met Taylor?
• 50:25
  The girl that founded?
• 50:26
  I haven't, but I've heard so many wonderful things about her.
• 50:28
  Yeah.
• 50:29
  She is an angel of a Yeah.
• 50:31
  I know.
• 50:31
  We wanna have, I heard she is such a kind person.
• 50:35
  Like just truly like a kind, hardworking.
• 50:38
  Human being.
• 50:39
  I know several people that know her, but like I have not.
• 50:43
  Oh.
• 50:43
  So anyway.
• 50:44
  Hi.
• 50:44
  If she know name, I know.
• 50:45
  I know it.
• 50:47
  Put it in.
• 50:48
  She's like a lovely person.
• 50:49
  That's amazing.
• 50:50
  Alright, Lauren, you got one?
• 50:52
  I do.
• 50:52
  Okay.
• 50:53
  So here's something else that, this is a little woo woo, but that's fine.
• 50:57
  That's like, it's like the new era of me.
• 50:59
  If you're on TikTok manifestation talk.
• 51:02
  I have been big into manifesting.
• 51:04
  Yes.
• 51:04
  I love it.
• 51:04
  And love the law of attraction and the law of awareness.
• 51:06
  And let me tell you, that shit works.
• 51:08
  It's all about like, just reframing your mind into, and it's all about like good energy and like really rewiring your brain because your brain chooses to believe what you tell it essentially.
• 51:22
  Mm-hmm.
• 51:22
  Mm-hmm.
• 51:23
  There like a ne Were you like a negative self talker?
• 51:25
  Yeah.
• 51:26
  Yeah.
• 51:26
  And this is like big.
• 51:28
  She was like, me too.
• 51:29
  Yeah.
• 51:29
  You're like, okay.
• 51:30
  I mean, I knew that answer sometimes asking you and I'm like, I know this is big though.
• 51:34
  Like I listen to an interview with an actual neurosurgeon who like confirmed all of this.
• 51:39
  So this is, it's actually like not very woo woo.
• 51:41
  Like it's very real.
• 51:42
  Yeah.
• 51:42
  There's some science based, there is, is science a science based?
• 51:45
  Yeah.
• 51:45
  The, the nursing.
• 51:45
  You likes this part?
• 51:46
  I do.
• 51:47
  So, but it manifesting like I've been big on vision boarding.
• 51:52
  I've been big on like writing down and like manifesting like truly the goals.
• 51:56
  Yes.
• 51:56
  Making my brain believe it.
• 51:57
  And when I tell you when you legitimately do this and put it into practice, shit happens.
• 52:03
  Like I have manifested shit that I never in a million years would've thought I would've manifest.
• 52:07
  So talk us through like a couple of ways that you do that.
• 52:10
  Like, because we are all about like an actionable That's different law.
• 52:13
  Yeah.
• 52:13
  Like yeah.
• 52:14
  So you have to truly like believe it.
• 52:16
  Yeah.
• 52:16
  And actually act as though that has already come to fruition.
• 52:21
  Yeah.
• 52:21
  Right.
• 52:21
  Okay.
• 52:21
  So it's not, I want.
• 52:24
  A million dollars, it's, I have a million dollars.
• 52:26
  Right.
• 52:26
  And like literally reframing it.
• 52:29
  So there's different methods you can do that.
• 52:31
  And that, this is why I, I would just recommend like going on TikTok and typing in like manifestation and like law of attraction, law of awareness because there's different ways you could do it.
• 52:40
  It could be writing it down like three times in the morning, six times in the afternoon, nine times at night, and just really like re like retraining your brain to think a different way.
• 52:49
  Yes.
• 52:50
  Right?
• 52:50
  Yes.
• 52:50
  But it's really amazing how when you are fully convinced in your brain, like when you tell your brain this is what it is.
• 52:58
  Yeah.
• 52:59
  How these things actually.
• 53:01
  Come into your life.
• 53:02
  It's the opposite.
• 53:03
  Because when you constantly tell yourself, bad shit is gonna happen, it freaking happens.
• 53:07
  Exactly.
• 53:08
  So think it it that way.
• 53:09
  It's it's, it makes sense.
• 53:10
  It's like when you're negative Yes.
• 53:12
  If you're constantly negative.
• 53:13
  Yes.
• 53:14
  It attracts negativity.
• 53:15
  Exactly.
• 53:16
  Like, attracts like positive it and, and I know that's so much, it's so much easier.
• 53:20
  I am like such a negativ negative self talker.
• 53:22
  Yeah.
• 53:22
  And like, the negativity that I, I feel like I attract other negativity when I'm in that space.
• 53:27
  And so I believe this, it's just hard to practice it hard.
• 53:32
  And you have, but you have to do it.
• 53:33
  You actually have to do it.
• 53:34
  Yeah.
• 53:35
  Vision boarding really helps too, as far as that.
• 53:37
  Mm-hmm.
• 53:37
  I still have to do mine for this year, but like, I even have my one from last year up.
• 53:41
  It still applies.
• 53:41
  Yeah.
• 53:41
  But you know, I even like put things on my phone.
• 53:44
  Yeah.
• 53:44
  Like I have like quotes on my phone or my lock screen or whatever it might be.
• 53:47
  And really just like acting as though you're already living that life.
• 53:51
  Yeah.
• 53:52
  You know, like dressing how, like of the person that you're envisioning whatever, whatever it might be.
• 53:58
  Like it's anything almost like a little d lulu, you know, in, in a good way.
• 54:02
  Yeah.
• 54:02
  In a good way.
• 54:02
  You're just like, okay.
• 54:03
  Like just believe it.
• 54:04
  Yeah.
• 54:04
  And just act it.
• 54:05
  Yeah.
• 54:06
  Are you able to share like one thing that you're like, oh my God, I, I manifested that.
• 54:10
  Yeah.
• 54:10
  I love that.
• 54:10
  Um, I have manifested people in my life.
• 54:14
  Mm.
• 54:14
  Wow.
• 54:15
  Yeah.
• 54:15
  I won't go too much in like, types of friendships you mean, or like types of, types of relationships Yes.
• 54:20
  That you wanna have.
• 54:21
  Yes.
• 54:22
  In a very freaky way.
• 54:23
  And also I have 1000% manifested, like certain collaborations mm-hmm.
• 54:29
  Like brands that I wanted to work with.
• 54:31
  Yeah.
• 54:31
  Um, income.
• 54:33
  Like, it's really wild, like how that happens.
• 54:37
  So highly, again, go down the rabbit hole.
• 54:40
  Like, this is where I use TikTok for that.
• 54:42
  Like, I'm like, I'm gonna, if I'm gonna be scrolling or doom scrolling, like I'm gonna have it actually be like beneficial.
• 54:47
  Mm-hmm.
• 54:47
  So I will literally go on manifestation talk and just be like, okay, all these people teach me all this stuff.
• 54:53
  And it's good energy, good vibes.
• 54:54
  I don't care.
• 54:55
  Like, I'm like, this could be so woo woo bullshit.
• 54:58
  I don't care.
• 54:58
  It's, I look at things as like, if they are positive to you, I don't care if you told me eating dog shit would be good for me.
• 55:05
  Great.
• 55:05
  Like, you know what I mean?
• 55:06
  Care, we would all, we would all do this on this podcast.
• 55:08
  So I'm like, cool.
• 55:08
  We're always looking for the answer.
• 55:10
  Exactly.
• 55:10
  I'm like, it's fine.
• 55:11
  I don't care.
• 55:12
  Like, whatever.
• 55:13
  So I just, I highly recommend, but like, attracts like, and write, if you think about it, like negativity attracts negativity.
• 55:19
  So that's where I'm all about like the good vibes, positive energy.
• 55:22
  I don't give a shit.
• 55:23
  I will sage my house.
• 55:24
  I'm like, whatever.
• 55:25
  If that's gonna make me think that I don't care.
• 55:27
  Like I so highly recommend it's.
• 55:31
  It's a good rabbit hole to go down, but it really, really works.
• 55:34
  I really, that, and my brother does the same thing.
• 55:37
  He actually like writes down, he was telling me, he was like, I write in a notebook every day.
• 55:40
  And he's like, and the things that I've had happen because I've like literally convinced myself.
• 55:44
  Mm-hmm.
• 55:44
  It's like fooling yourself into thinking that you already live this life.
• 55:47
  And then it happens.
• 55:47
  You know how many times I've convinced myself that I had a pulmonary embolism or a blood clot?
• 55:51
  Well, that's what I'm saying.
• 55:51
  It's like this is a, it's the opposite.
• 55:54
  Agree.
• 55:54
  And it's just like, and the same use of time.
• 55:57
  Exactly.
• 55:58
  Like I could just be thinking, the better I could be thinking about the good things that could happen instead of worrying about all the, the bad things that might happen.
• 56:05
  And also on that note too, like again, if we're gonna be like a little d Lulu, like romanticizing your life a little bit.
• 56:10
  I've been big on that.
• 56:12
  I try to do that, but Yeah.
• 56:13
  Like I know, I know.
• 56:14
  It's so hard.
• 56:17
  It's so hard.
• 56:18
  Yeah.
• 56:20
  You know what, you know what?
• 56:21
  I cannot tea out of like a bougie, I know.
• 56:24
  I try blast, I try to drink my matcha and like try to romanticize a nice morning, but like when I, when I'm up in the middle of the night and I should just be like.
• 56:33
  Oh, it's just so wonderful.
• 56:35
  Waking up again with my daughter.
• 56:38
  I can't get there.
• 56:40
  I just can't.
• 56:41
  I know that.
• 56:43
  She's just I know, I know, I know.
• 56:45
  You will get there.
• 56:46
  I swear.
• 56:47
  I know, I know.
• 56:47
  But it just, I mean, little things like, I'm like, all right, I'm gonna like, yeah.
• 56:51
  Lower the lights and like play some music while I'm cooking dinner.
• 56:54
  Yeah.
• 56:54
  Because I fucking hate cooking dinner, but like whatever to make to like Yeah, I agree with that.
• 56:57
  You know, literally like make myself think that this is like great.
• 57:03
  You know what I mean?
• 57:03
  So anyway.
• 57:05
  Love that.
• 57:05
  That's my little, my little tip.
• 57:06
  Love so much.
• 57:07
  Positivity.
• 57:07
  Hacks.
• 57:08
  Listen, you're trying to protect your energy and Exactly.
• 57:10
  Send out good vibes.
• 57:11
  And bingo.
• 57:12
  I loved hearing from you today.
• 57:13
  Thank you guys for having me.
• 57:15
  I'm happy for having you.
• 57:16
  Thank you.
• 57:16
  And I hope you can come to the gala.
• 57:17
  I know.
• 57:18
  Well, we were some love to have you there.
• 57:19
  Most favorite interview.
• 57:20
  Yeah.
• 57:21
  I loved it.
• 57:21
  Yeah.
• 57:22
  This is a, this is a long, this is a juicy one.
• 57:25
  I know.
• 57:25
  It is.
• 57:26
  I love it.
• 57:27
  We love it.
• 57:27
  We were talking to a girlfriend.
• 57:29
  It was, I just met you today.
• 57:30
  I know.
• 57:31
  Oh.
• 57:31
  And now we're friends forever.
• 57:32
  So, so I know.
• 57:32
  It's such good.
• 57:33
  Goodbye.
• 57:33
  I tell everyone out.
• 57:34
  I'm like, now you just stuck with me.
• 57:36
  Me.
• 57:36
  Wait, can you give a shout out to Patty?
• 57:38
  Oh, hi Patty.
• 57:40
  What's up girl?
• 57:41
  Hi Patty.
• 57:41
  Please light in my dms and say hi.
• 57:43
  And I'll chat with you in person.
• 57:47
  You're so cringe too.
• 57:48
  This is not cringe fun.
• 57:50
  I do love meeting people in per, like, I honestly makes my day like, look at what I feel.
• 57:53
  Literally, I say T followed my Instagram and came up to me on vacation and here we are sitting with a business together and it's just, it's like because, because we don't have a lot of other overlap in our lives.
• 58:04
  Right.
• 58:05
  Right.
• 58:05
  Our kids are different ages.
• 58:06
  Yes.
• 58:07
  Like we would not have met different ages.
• 58:08
  We didn't have like the same social circle of friends.
• 58:11
  No.
• 58:11
  Which I think sometimes the most beautiful friendships.
• 58:14
  Are born when you're not completely, totally.
• 58:16
  Like when they're a little bit random off each other.
• 58:18
  Yeah.
• 58:18
  You know, all of mine.
• 58:19
  That would be exception of like my high school crew.
• 58:22
  Yeah.
• 58:22
  Like all that's separate.
• 58:23
  Yeah.
• 58:23
  Yeah.
• 58:23
  That, that's separate.
• 58:24
  But like all of my friends, like now that have come into my life, all who, none of us actually like match up lifewise all in different areas of life.
• 58:34
  But like we are, that's the best rock solid.
• 58:35
  We learn so much from those people.
• 58:37
  Yeah.
• 58:37
  And it's incredible.
• 58:38
  So we're just so grateful that you came on here.
• 58:40
  The drive.
• 58:40
  Thanks for having me.
• 58:41
  You came in studio.
• 58:41
  It's so much.
• 58:43
  It's so great to be able to sit in person and chat.
• 58:45
  It's so different.
• 58:46
  So we appreciate you coming up here.
• 58:47
  Here.
• 58:47
  Of course.
• 58:47
  We love you.
• 58:48
  It's been so fun to connect.
• 58:49
  Thank, thank you guys.
• 58:50
  We're gonna all see you in March at the end, which we're all gonna be dancing our asses off.
• 58:54
  Oh, it's gonna be a good, good time.
• 58:55
  It's gonna be so fun.
• 58:56
  I think you should wear your lady, what was it called again?
• 58:59
  The Lady Black Tie the light.
• 59:00
  I'm not wearing that one again.
• 59:01
  I can't get, I'm not having Raja have to corset me into that again.
• 59:06
  He will be, he will literally burn it.
• 59:08
  Course it happens again.
• 59:10
  But maybe we could get something similar from Lady Black Tie that that just doesn't have a corset because that, that will end my marriage.
• 59:16
  Let's start looking.
• 59:17
  Let's start looking.
• 59:18
  We'll I didn't even show up with that thing from me to late.
• 59:23
  God.
• 59:23
  Get outta here's Too funny.
• 59:24
  Too funny.
• 59:25
  All we'll see you on.
• 59:26
  I know.
• 59:27
  Thank guys.
• 59:27
  Thank you so much.
• 59:29
  Bye bye.