215. Nice is Not Kind with Allie Jones

FINE is a 4-Letter Word · Jan 29, 2026 · 43m

Growing up in Iowa, Allie Jones was immersed in a culture of “Iowa nice,” a brand of politeness defined by being helpful, agreeable, and perpetually pleasant. So not surprisingly, niceness became a core value for Allie, one that was reinforced by her community, but also complicated by its shadow: the tendency to avoid hard conversations and uncomfortable truths in favor of small talk and surface-level connections.

Early in her career as a third-grade teacher, she poured herself into her students, striving to live up to the expectations of hard work and service. But as she recounts, supportive…