Latest / Rise & Realign: Conversations for the Sensitive Soul / Ep 18 | Reconnecting Heart and Spirit: The Journey Home | Highly Sensitive Series

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Ep 18 | Reconnecting Heart and Spirit: The Journey Home | Highly Sensitive Series · Rise & Realign: Conversations for the Sensitive Soul

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Welcome to Rise and Realign, conversations for
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the sensitive soul. I'm Melissa, and this space
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is for those of us who feel deeply, love fiercely,
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and sense the world in ways that are hard to
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explain, but impossible to ignore. Here, we honor
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your sensitivity as a strength, not something
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to fix. So today, I'm going to touch on, you
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know, how as sensitive individuals, we often,
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you know, don't have a clear understanding of
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why, you know, our nervous system may feel tense,
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right? We may be nudged into an emotional release
1:09
more quickly. You know, why we may experience
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more crying or more frequent crying or why we
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just may feel a bit disconnected from our own
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heart, you know, our own. inner alignment. Um,
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so I have referenced the highly sensitive series,
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the nine part, um, blog in the previous episode.
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So I, as usual, just want to touch on it. Today
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is part seven and it was called reconnecting
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heart and spirit, the journey home. Um, and so
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just you know, it's not uncommon for women that
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I, you know, work with to question themselves,
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right? Like, and I certainly remember asking
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myself these questions too. So I really want
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to speak to that part of you so that you know
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you're not alone, right? That I can relate and
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there are plenty of other highly sensitive women
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who can relate as well to feeling like you're
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too much. You know, like you need to just get
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get it together. Why can't you be normal if that's
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what you, you know, would prefer? Because again,
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we're often looking outside and seeing how other
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people are experiencing things. And That can
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skew our own view of ourself, which I have to
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say is the most important. It is so important
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to know how we view ourselves, right? I often,
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you know, share with women that what someone
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else thinks of me is none of my business. Because
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it... it's not going to touch me in the sense
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of affect me in a negative way, right? If I see
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that that's a projection from their own, you
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know, perspective and level of understanding
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and consciousness, right? Like, so it's, it's
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more about them. So when we can separate what
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someone else thinks is about them, you know,
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the most important thing is what we think about
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ourselves, right? How we view ourselves, how
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we understand ourselves. And, you know, I've
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said it before on, you know, previous episodes,
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like, I was raised with, you know, very loving
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family. And so, you know, blessed, you know,
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and I was 25 to have, you know, met my longtime
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best friend. Um, but even with the closest of
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relationships in my life, right? Like it's been
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clear that I'm highly sensitive, right? Like,
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because when we, when we use, you know, Dr. Elaine
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Aaron, you know, the research that she brought
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together right in the early 90s that established
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that for humans right we have this high sensitivity
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trait in roughly back then she said it was 15
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to 20 percent of the population equal between
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males and females and newer research you know
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out of the UK is saying it's it's more like 20
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to 30 percent now right But when we understand
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that even when we're surrounded by others who
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love us, if we are on that higher side of the,
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if you want to call it a scale, right, for people
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who have the sensory processing sensitivity trait,
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if one of us is kind of in the, you know, mid
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to high range, and then somebody else is on the
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higher side again it's just pointing to even
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if we are highly sensitive some of us are still
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um feeling things more deeply processing things
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just a little bit longer right so again i always
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want to say like this isn't an identity label
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right this is just one piece that can help us
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understand what makes us a little different so
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that we can honor our own needs, right? Understand
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how our mind is working, you know, what our body
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is communicating, and what do we want to feel
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connected to in a larger sense, right? And for
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highly sensitive individuals, you know, that
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can have the full range from, you know, feeling
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deeply connected to nature, right? And, you know,
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all kinds of... indigenous practices right ancient
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wisdom um it can be religious for some it can
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be spiritual it can be psychic like again we're
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all having very unique experiences so i just
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want to make it clear that sometimes you know
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when we're growing up and We're exposed to the
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environmental factors that we are and the people
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that we are. We can still question, like, well,
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why am I this way, right? Like, can I just be
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normal like everybody else, right? So this is
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just a reminder that it's actually not accurate,
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right? Like, we are normal. We're all normal
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in the sense of whether you have the high sensitivity
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trait or whether you don't, right? This is a
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normal yet invisible trait. It's just there's
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only a minority of us, the research shows, that
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are born this way. And, you know, and it can
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be, I was certainly born and raised in a family
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where we're all highly sensitive. And so I didn't
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really. pick up on the differences, right? Or
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that I was a highly sensitive person until I
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experienced some, you know, challenges in my
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life. Because that's an important part to really
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understand about this trait. Although, you know,
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we can say we're all normal, whether we have
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this trait or we don't, there is this differential
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susceptibility component for those of us who
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do have the trait. Now, what does that mean?
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You know, it means that when we are in environments
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that feel supportive, right, that are healthy,
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you know, and And that can be in the sense of,
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you know, growing up with, you know, again, parents
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that care for us, love us, support us, right?
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Nobody's perfect. So obviously, you know, we're
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all going to experience times when we're not
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feeling supported. But if you, you know, just
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kind of look at your whole childhood, you know,
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kind of look at... those periods and say, yeah,
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for the most part, I was very much loved and
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supported, right? So we have the ability when
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we are feeling loved and supported and, you know,
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our environment is healthy, then we have the
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ability to excel above, right, somebody who does
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not have this trait. And the opposite is also
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true. So if we're in an environment where we're
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not feeling supported, we're not feeling seen,
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we're under acknowledged, right? Like, and that
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can be school, right? Whether that's in our childhood
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or in our adulthood, right? It could be work
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environments, right? That don't take into consideration
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that some people, you know, process at a different
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pace because of the depth right and the consideration
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and how in work environments you know highly
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sensitive individuals are not typically right
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the ones who are going to speak up first and
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therefore be fast decision makers because of
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that depth of processing we're going to consider
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you know we're taking in more information so
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that we can process it and really again use that
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innate you know, strategic type of thinking.
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So anyway, back to the environment truly matters
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as highly sensitive individuals. So this is one
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of the reasons why I found myself very You know,
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it wasn't necessarily even focused on raising
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awareness to this high sensitivity trait. You
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know, it was probably like 13 to 15 years ago
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when I really discovered what it meant for me
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as a highly sensitive woman and mom and how much
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it just shifted my perspective in ways that were
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very, very meaningful and powerful. And it was
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a process to shift my life to really honor my
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understanding and how to care for myself. You
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know, in a way that could support my vitality,
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right? I mean, I feel like we're here to be healthy
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and happy and live in harmony with each other
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and nature. But anyway, back to this differential
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susceptibility. So this is why it's important
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that we are assessing for ourselves, right? Like,
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am I feeling supported in this relationship,
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you know, with whoever it is, a friend, a colleague,
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a family member, right? Like in my work environment,
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am I feeling heard and understood, right? Like,
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because that's one layer. of our environment
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right but we also need to understand especially
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in these times that you know we continue to evolve
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with technology and everything right like it's
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so important to understand that as sensitive
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beings we are going to experience the impact
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on our nervous system faster than those who don't
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have this trait so that's where you know There
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was a point in my life when, you know, my own
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health challenges made me, again, explore more
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about, okay, well, what am I exposing my body
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to that's not healthy and helpful? You know,
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I have an autoimmune condition. Okay, so what
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do I need to know, right? learned about gluten
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and I learned about dairy and, you know, and,
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and now there's so much with glyphosate, right?
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Um, so this is why it's just important to know,
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like, as a highly sensitive person, it's really,
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we need, for me, we have to look at the wholeness
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of who we are, right? Like, this is not just
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an identity. It's not like, Yes, it's referred
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to as a temperament trait, right? Like, because
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we are ones who will observe, will pause, right?
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Like, again, we're not necessarily the people
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that are going to jump in, you know, to something
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fast and quick, because we take the time to process
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and understand things. Although I must admit
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that Also, as highly sensitive people, we can
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be the least aware if we are overwhelmed. If
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we are chronically stressed, we're not able to
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see all that we can see when we are tending to
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ourselves, when we are calm and centered and
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really tending to our daily needs, right? I brought
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this into this episode because, again, when we
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think of reconnecting heart and spirit, for me,
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that journey home is to be able to know and trust
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ourselves, right? You've heard me say that I
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see this. sensory processing sensitivity trait
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as sensory intelligence because of the depth
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of processing that is that core essential component
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to having the trait right and when we understand
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that when we are supported when we feel heard
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and understood you know then it allows us to
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relax a little bit right it allows us to breathe
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a little slower and a little deeper and start
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to feel safe in this world right and um again
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being able to trust ourselves i feel is the biggest
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biggest piece that um that again it's it's beyond
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words to describe the the shift I experience,
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you know, having self -trust. But I know that
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it's not always the easiest for us to, to not
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just experience trust within ourselves, but to
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trust in the wholeness of our understanding of
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who we are. And that's what I really love about
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being a highly sensitive person. I mean, you
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know, when we understand that we our neuroanatomy
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is is a little bit different and it it allows
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us to have this broader range of emotional responses
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right so for me when I'm in awe and appreciation
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of nature or life you know or relationships I
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mean I can just feel so high in the sense of,
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wow, you know, life is incredible, you know,
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and I'm so curious about the mysteries in life.
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And, you know, there's so many layers to it that
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fascinate me. Right. But I'm also somebody who
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like, I want to celebrate when somebody has something,
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you know, happy and good that happens to them,
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right? I'm like, I'm clapping. I'm, I'm, I'm
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excited. I'm like, yeah, you know, like I'm,
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I'm right there to cheerlead them. Right. And
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I also have that deeper, um, emotional range
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down. Right. So again, and that this is speaking
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to that, um, differential susceptibility component.
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Because we can go higher in our emotional range
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and we can also go lower. And when I say lower,
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what I mean is the way we feel it, right? Because
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I could say I'm feeling a certain emotion and
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somebody else who doesn't have this trait can
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say, well, I'm feeling that too, right? Their
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experience. It's just going to be, say, to a
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different degree, right? So the highly sensitive
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person is more often going to experience that
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fuller range. And so sadness and grief, right?
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Guilt, shame, those are just felt on a deeper
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level. So this is why, again, it's really important
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that we are honoring if we have this trait how
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do we care for ourselves in a way that allows
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us to experience you know being designed with
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this sensory intelligence in a positive way right
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and so this is where really tuning in and understanding
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yourself right paying more attention in the sense
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of being in the moment so You can feel what you
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need to feel without judgment, right? And again,
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I know it's not the easiest thing to start doing
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after we've been bracing for a long time, which
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is one of the reasons why, you know, I have created
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the Realign Circle for sensitive and strong women
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in their 20s. Because when I think of how many
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decades I lived with a nervous system that was
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on high alert, right? And bracing, you've heard
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me say, I just thought I was a high strung person
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and that that was normal. I didn't realize that
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I was in that chronic stress response, right?
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That what we call sympathetic dominant state
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where, again, our breathing is shallow, right?
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it uses up a lot of our energy. So we're not
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even accessing our greatest creative potential,
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right? Or our ability to relax. Oh my gosh, like,
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I just flashed back to my, you know, mid 20s
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when my husband and I would like go on a cruise.
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And it would take me like three days before We
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could actually even enjoy being there together
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because that's just life felt so stressful, even
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though, you know, again, I had friends, I had
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family, I had a career, like I had all the things
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that we, you know, talk about being the American
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dream and, you know, what we want to make sure,
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you know, that we have in our lives. But, but
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when we don't understand. you know, what it means
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to have a more finely tuned nervous system. It
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just really kind of boxes us in to live in a
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more constricted state, which again, that is
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not, you know, it's not health giving, right?
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Like stress. it ages us more quickly, right?
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Our reactivity is even faster, right? And as
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highly sensitive individuals, emotional reactivity
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is part of having the trait. So if we're not
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tending to ourself and our well -being, right,
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then more often than not, we're going to react
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quickly and it may not be how we really want
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to react. Which that's just a whole nother path
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that I could talk about as far as, you know,
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how to understand reactions and, you know, what
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things we may say and do when we're in a more
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activated state. But I really want to stay true
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to, you know, reconnecting. heart and spirit,
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you know, you being able to understand your sensitive
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qualities and, and what that means for you, for
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you holistically, right? I kind of understand
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how your mind operates, you know, that, that
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physiological response and also your connection
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to spirit, to something greater. So I certainly
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invite you to. read that blog, if you would like,
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um, on my website, realignwithmelissa .com. But
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I also want to, you know, just again, speak to
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why I feel it's important to offer the Realign
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Circle for sensitive and strong women in their
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twenties, because, you know, I certainly wish
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I knew about this trait when I was in my twenties.
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I definitely feel like it It would give me greater
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understanding of why I was a little bit different.
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And certainly a way for me to be more gentle
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with myself because I was always somebody who
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just, you know, kept pushing, you know. need
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to do more. I see what needs to be done. That's
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next on my list to do. I don't really think I
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lived in the present moment very much, right?
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Because I was processing so much from what had
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already happened and I was planning so much for,
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you know, what was next. And so bringing myself
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into the present moment was something that, gosh,
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was probably pretty foreign. other than when
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i would you know attend a yoga class but yeah
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i i feel that with the increase in environmental
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toxins right i mentioned glyphosate before that's
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in our food um You know, it's in the soil. There's
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more toxins in the environment. We're talking
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light pollution, right? We're talking, there's
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just so many different layers to this. And when
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women now in their 20s, they're exposed to social
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media. or they're participating in social media,
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and then how they're seeing themselves compared
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to others, or not even necessarily comparing,
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but just feeling that emotional reactivity by
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what you may learn about. And that can even just
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be the news too. It doesn't have to be social
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media, right? So I just want to acknowledge that.
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women in their twenties, you know, who are sensitive
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and strong. I'm creating this space and we meet,
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um, the second Monday is the time that we've
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established. It's the second Monday. So this
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first gathering will be March 9th at 5 30 PM.
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And it's a space that we can come together and
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i can share um the education around this trait
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you can ask questions you know really we can
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work with nervous system awareness regulation
25:49
I'd love to share about quantum biology and understanding
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how you can care for your body in a new way of,
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again, it's a quantum biology informed approach.
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I think it's really powerful for sensitive individuals
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because And it's again, it's bringing you back
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into alignment with you, where you can trust
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yourself and that you are connected to something
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greater. And you can feel supported, right? In
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this circle, it's meant for you to feel supported
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by other highly sensitive and strong women, right?
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I'm there to facilitate and to guide you back
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to you. back to how important your environment
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is um you know to connect with in a healthy way
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and to just develop the trust within yourself
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because we all have our own inner guidance and
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you know as highly sensitive women you deserve
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um to tend to your unique needs, even if it's
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so different, right? Potentially than the roughly
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70 to 80 % of the population who don't have this
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trait, right? It's just, you need to know you,
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right? Again, there's no hierarchy. It's just
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important that you know yourself, right? And
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that you know how to care for yourself. you don't
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need permission from anybody else to do that
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but i'm inviting you to be in a circle with other
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sensitive women so that you have ongoing reminders
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that you're not alone you know and you taking
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care of you is not selfish it's essential and
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You know, the conversation can be expansive because
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as highly sensitive women, there's so much that
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we can talk about. So anyway, let's remember
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that we are here together to rise, reclaim, remember.
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Where the heart leads, the body remembers. And
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the soul awakens. So before we close, I invite
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you to return to your breath. Take a nice inhale
28:34
through your nose. Maybe a second inhale just
28:39
to lengthen your spine and take in a little bit
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more. And then exhale nice and slow out your
28:46
mouth. And just feel yourself relaxing. releasing,
28:54
letting go, which you do not need to carry anymore.
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Again, inhaling through your nose, and again,
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exhaling out your mouth, nice and slow, and letting
29:10
go. Just continue to connect with your breath
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and your body. And to what feels true for you
29:25
right now. There's nothing you need to fix. Just
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be here now. And tune in to you. And if anyone
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else listening is ready to rise out of old conditioning
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and return to your own rhythm, you're always
29:54
welcome to walk with me. You can listen here
29:57
each week. You can join my Rise and Realign Lunar
30:01
Letter. Or you can explore a deeper support through,
30:07
you know, realignment sessions, integrative intensives.
30:15
And you can find everything at realignwithmelissa
30:19
.com slash links. So take good care of you. Much
30:24
love and light.