Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / What do narcissists see in you?

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What do narcissists see in you? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we're going to be talking about why did the narcissist
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  pick you? Why did they choose you of all
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  people? What did they see in you?
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a diagnosed narcissist. And welcome to another episode
• 0:17
  of the Narcissist Cult. Let's get it y'all.
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  Let's go. Let's go.
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  Let's go. Let's go, folks.
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  Narcissistic people, toxic people.
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  What the hell did they see in you?
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  What did they pick you? I know this is what somebody I'm
• 0:47
  going to say. I already know Lee.
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  I'm a baddie. That's why I was picked, Lee.
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  I got that money. That's why I was picked Lee.
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  I'm nice. I'm kind.
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  Da, da, da, da. We get it.
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  We get it. We know.
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  We know. We know.
• 1:03
  I used to get this question a lot.
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  I've been. Yeah.
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  I've been doing this for about 4 1/2 years now, right?
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  Talked to thousands of people, interviewed thousands of people,
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  just, like hear thousands of different stories.
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  And I'm not exaggerated when I say that over the last four,
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  over the last 4 1/2 years. But this is one of the most
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  common questions that I get. I remember the first one of the
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  first time I, I started when I started doing responses on
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  TikTok, one of the first videos I ever did, you scroll all the
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  way back to my channel through the 10, the 10,000 videos to the
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  very beginning. You see me say that I said, Hey,
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  look, somebody I responded to somebody's question.
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  It's like, why did that? Why did the narcissist choose
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  me? And I was just like, you know, I
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  have to get one of those responses that not a not APC
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  response, but it's one of the responses.
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  They try to hype people up. The empowering response is like,
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  you know why the narcissist picked you?
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  Because they saw the light in you.
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  You're a bright shining beacon of light in this life, in this
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  world. That's why you got chosen.
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  That's why you got picked. You shine the light in this
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  bright world and they could sense every part of it.
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  They could sense every, every ounce of it.
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  They could sense it. That's why they picked you.
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  You're a beautiful person inside and out.
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  That's why you were chosen. That's why Lee hammock out.
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  You know, that's how that's how I used to respond to videos.
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  I know if y'all been following me for a long time, that's how I
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  used to respond to videos like that because they I was gaining
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  knowledge and I didn't you know, I didn't want to go to to great
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  depth because they I wanted to help people out, but I realized
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  it's not helping everybody out, right?
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  It helps some people to hear that type of information that
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  way, but it doesn't help out everybody.
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  So I'm trying to reach the masses, right.
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  Narcissistic people can choose you.
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  What do they they see in you? Something different A lot of
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  times, y'all? It's going to sound weird.
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  Well, it might not sound weird, right?
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  They see in you what they lack in themselves, right?
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  Yeah. It's like what?
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  Lee? That makes sense.
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  You said it, You know, you said that they see the light in you,
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  but why did they see the light in you?
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  In the beginning? I was saying they said they saw
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  the light in you. But why did they see the light
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  in you? Because sometimes they have the
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  darkness inside of them. So they see the opposite of
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  what's inside of them. They see what they lack, so they
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  pursue what they lack. You ever seen, you ever hear
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  this, the phrase opposite opposites attract?
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  Yeah, It's not. That's not.
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  That's not necessarily always true, though.
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  Sometimes opposites don't attract.
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  It's like opposites pursue. You pursue somebody who's not
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  like you pursue somebody who who gives you different vibes.
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  You pursue somebody who who is the exact opposite of yourself.
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  Sometimes, I don't know, this is like yin and Yang, you, you
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  pursue, but you, you because they feel like, and this is the
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  mind of a narcissist, right? I say they, I can, I can use the
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  we right here as well is that we feel like you complete us a lot
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  of times. Like if we're chasing after you
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  for what we lack, right then it's like you complete us.
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  You, you're the missing piece to our puzzle, You know, so a lot
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  of narcissists pick you. They choose you because you
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  provide them what they lack. You provide them the sustenance
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  that they lack or whatever, right?
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  That's one reason. That's the empowering reason
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  that you have what they lack, right?
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  Sometimes, y'all, let's be real, let's keep y'all, y'all.
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  I told y'all, 2025. What?
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  This is the 11th video I've done in 2025.
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  That's January 11th. Yeah, sometimes.
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  And I told y'all, go keep it ready.
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  I'm keeping it hotter and readier than last year, right?
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  Sometimes our sisters pick you because they don't have anything
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  like y'all. Sometimes they choose you
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  because they, they, they don't have anywhere to go, right?
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  You have a home, you provide you, you provide you.
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  They, they might be homeless, they might be unhoused, they
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  might be bums, they might be on hard times, they might be
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  struggling. So they find somebody who's
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  kind, carrying, empathetic and has shelter, has food, water and
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  shelter and they pick you because of that.
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  Sometimes they pick you because of that right there.
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  It's a manipulation from the beginning.
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  I know a lot of people ask me did did they, the narcissist
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  ever love me and ever care about me?
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  Sometimes they don't y'all or not, I'm not trying to be mean,
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  but sometimes they don't. They sometimes they come to the
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  relationships and they use you. You notice I said sometimes
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  because a lot of times they do care about you, right?
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  But the way that they care about you is not going to be up to the
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  it's not going to be up to the quality of care that you need,
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  right? That's not going to happen,
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  right. So they can care about you and
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  still treat you weird. It's kind of it's, it's still,
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  it's still not treat you like you deserve to be treated, if
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  that makes sense. So sometimes it's what you
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  provide them is what they do. It was why they pick you.
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  You know what I mean? I've talked to so many people
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  whose narcissistic exes they've kicked out.
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  Like actually, I kicked my narcissistic ex out my damn
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  house. They stopped working.
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  They were not providing, they were not helping with the kids.
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  I kicked his stinking ass out or her I kicked.
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  Let's say that this I kicked a stinking ass out of my damn
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  house. You know what they've moved in
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  almost immediately with somebody that's you know, and this is
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  what y'all say, somebody that's way less attractive than me,
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  somebody that's that doesn't have the same weight category as
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  me, somebody that's just doesn't have much to offer somebody with
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  low self esteem. And let's just they moved in
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  immediately like they just met as well.
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  I, I talked to the girl and they said they just met and I'm like,
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  you living with this person already.
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  Well, they said they were falling on a hard time.
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  They had nowhere to go. So I'm just such a nice person,
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  yo. They don't have anything to
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  offer. So he might have cared in that
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  situation right there. He might have cared about the
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  first girl, but the second one he was using, you see, in that
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  situation right there, he was attracted to the second one
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  because of what she provided him, because of, you know, what
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  she gave to him. So he was attracted to that
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  naturally. You see what I'm saying?
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  This is what happens. Like they do this type of stuff
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  to people all the time. They go after you because of
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  what you can give them, you know, and I was like, this is
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  not going to be the the case for everybody, right?
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  I know when I say, when I tell these stories tonight, it hurts
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  people's feelings. This is not the case for
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  everybody. They do care.
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  They're not, they don't use everybody like that, but there
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  are a lot of people that they do absolutely use.
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  There's a lot of people that they absolutely manipulate a lot
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  of people that they absolutely, you see what you provide them
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  and they just try to take it from you.
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  They, they're takers. Narcissistic people tend to be
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  takers, tend to be takers. They take, take, take.
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  So sometimes what they see in you is your wallet or your purse
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  or their body, their body yadi, yadi, yadi, their body yadi,
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  them cheeks. They want some cheeks.
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  They, they, they, they just, sometimes they pick you and
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  choose you because they just, you know, they're attracted to
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  you in the bedroom. They just want to clap them
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  cheeks. Sometimes that's what happens.
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  Or they want them cheeks clapped by you.
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  This is what happens, right? This is how it goes.
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  They sometimes they're just attracted to you physically and
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  they pursue you and that's all they want from you.
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  That's why they chose you, because you look gay.
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  You might you look like you want to be chosen.
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  You might be a baddie. Like I said at the beginning,
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  you might be a baddie. You might have a body otty otty
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  on you. You might be good.
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  Yeah, you might be fine. Let's just get it out the way.
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  You might be a you might be fine.
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  You might be fly. You might be a handsome bastard.
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  That's why they picture. You just might look good.
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  They don't want nothing else but them buns or some funds.
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  You know what I'm saying? Yeah, that's right there.
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  It's a space. You know that right?
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  Is it it it. It really is.
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  That's the mindset right there. Sometimes they only want you for
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  what you can provide them in the bedroom.
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  It's bedroom fun. There's a song, old song called
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  Bedroom Boom. Like Bedroom Boom.
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  Who? Who wrote that song?
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  Y'all Bedroom boom. You're gonna listen to this
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  song. Bedroom Boom.
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  The Ying Yang Twins, right? Bedroom Boom.
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  Really. Huh.
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  Wow. I don't think it would be a Yin
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  Yang Twins. Cannot.
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  I wrote that song. Yeah.
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  Yeah. That's what's going down in that
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  bedroom. Boo.
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  Yeah. Wow.
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  Somebody else is on that song. Somebody else is in on that
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  song. Singing.
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  Who's singing on that song? Wow.
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  Yin Yang Twins 2520 years ago. Like Avant.
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  Avant singing that part. That's what it is.
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  Avant is on that song. That's.
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  I remember Avant. I don't remember Yin Yang twins.
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  OK, sorry y'all side, but it was a sidebar right there.
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  They just want a bedroom boom. They just want a bedroom boom.
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  But this is the mentality, y'all.
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  They just see in you what you can provide to them.
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  They pick you because what you provide to them, right?
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  And I'll also say this as well, y'all, there are narcissists out
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  there that whatever they can get from you, they take.
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  They just want validation from you, right?
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  There are a lot of narcissistic people that are just seeking
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  validation and they go out there and now they pursue it and they
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  find it in you. They absolutely do, you know
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  what I mean? They absolutely do.
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  This is the mindset right here. Like they absolutely would just
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  are looking for validation and narcissistic supply, whatever
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  type of supply that is. It could be financial supply, it
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  could be bedroom supply, it could be physical supply, it
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  could be emotional supply. It could be you just validating
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  them and they just want to hear you tell.
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  They want to hear you stroke their ego.
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  You just stroke their ego, right?
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  They, they, that's what I'm saying.
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  They could be just after narcissistic supply.
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  I know a lot of people don't want to hear that right there,
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  but that's just the truth. They could be just after what
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  you provide them in the supply category.
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  You know, ask yourself when you deal with it, ask yourself when
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  you why are you dealing with them or as you outside the
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  relationship, ask yourself, what did this person I know, one of
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  the questions I tell people to ask themselves is what were you
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  getting the flip? The question on is how flip the
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  question, what were you getting? What were you getting from this
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  person, right, because that's important.
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  That's just as important a lot of times.
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  What were you getting from this person?
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  Because that's absolutely important.
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  Because you, you have to dig. You had to dig deeper in
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  yourself and then ask yourself what, what, what, what were they
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  getting from you? Because you can cut that off.
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  You want them to leave. How do I get them to leave me
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  alone? Cut off whatever supply that
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  they're getting from you. Well, I can't say no.
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  I have a problem saying no. Well, buckle your safety belt
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  because you're about to be in for a long ass bumpy ride.
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  You have to be able to say the word no.
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  You just have to, you know, I'll say this as well, y'all,
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  sometimes Darcen's just seeing you.
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  They like you. Let's be real.
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  I know a lot of it been doom and gloom.
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  I probably should have led with this, but they might actually
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  like your ass. They might actually just be
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  vibing with you. It doesn't always come from a
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  place of manipulation. That's why I'll say right here,
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  I don't think that it always comes from a place of
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  manipulation. Like, they might like you, but
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  they'd be lying, you know what I'm saying?
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  They might actually like you. Be feeling you, but they asses
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  be lying for no reason. They, they, they don't have to
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  lie to you. You know what you could tell
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  them like, hey, you feeling me? I'm feeling you.
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  What's good? You mean you can say that to
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  them, but they don't do that. They don't lie to you about who
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  they are, what they have going on.
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  They just won't be truthful to it with you when they could be.
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  All they have to do is be truthful and things can start.
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  Your life can get better, but they don't want to be truthful
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  right there. They will just keep lying their
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  asses off to you for whatever reason.
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  They just feel like it's a lot of times they do feel like it's
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  necessary to lie to you because they can't.
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  They'll lie. They'll put it in this way right
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  here. I lie to you because you can't
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  handle the truth. What then?
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  Leave me the hell alone. I know.
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  Yeah, I know it sounds ass backwards, but that's the
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  mindset. That's the mentality right
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  there. I lied to you because I don't
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  feel like I can tell you the truth.
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  What the hell does that even mean?
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  How stupid does that sound? I'd be lying to you because you
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  can't. I can't tell you the truth
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  because how you act. What that means that you know
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  I'm going to act a monkey because you about to tell me
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  some. Tell me some crap.
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  Yeah. That means you know you're doing
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  some. That means you know you're doing
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  something horrible and you know I'm going to have a negative
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  reaction to it. So that's why you lie.
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  You just admit to doing something bad.
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  It's not you. You're not trying to protect me.
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  You're trying to. You just.
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  You're just a liar. You're not trying to protect me
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  or guard me. You're just a liar.
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  Don't try to spare my feelings. You're lying to me.
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  Tell me the damn truth. This is what they do.
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  They remove your consent. They pretty much remove your
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  emotional consent because they lie to you, manipulate you, and
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  they tell you and they pretend to be somebody, somebody that
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  they're not. Not every two, no two
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  narcissists are the same, right? Because some narcissists will
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  absolutely show you who they are upfront, right?
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  They'll tell you who they are from.
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  They'll tell you that they've been abusive in the past.
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  They'll they'll tell you that they lied to you, that they've
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  been lying to people in the past, that they cheated on the
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  past. But you're different.
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  It's just about you. I see me, I can see myself in
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  the future. Church treat you different
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  because you deserve it. You deserve to be treated better
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  Gear. You deserve it.
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  What? Huh.
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  This is weird, you know what I'm saying?
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  This is the mentality. The mentality.
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  But this is something somebody everybody has to learn how to
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  deal with too, though, when you're dealing with an abusive
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  person, I'm an able to person. Just understand that they try to
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  dig deeper to figure out why they why exactly that they chose
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  you. Because like I said, sometimes
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  they can't pick you because they like you.
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  But that doesn't mean that you should stay.
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  Y'all. I know people like well, Lee,
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  thank you. I was looking for a reason to
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  stay. He just gave it to me.
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  No, I didn't know what the hell I didn't.
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  I just said also said that they probably going to treat you
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  horribly as well. Just because they like you
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  doesn't mean they're going to treat you good.
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  They might at the beginning, they might in the middle, but
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  they keep doing stuff. They keep doing bad stuff.
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  Ask yourself this question right here.
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  Are they just doing good deeds to make up for the bad stuff?
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  Or are they doing good deeds from the from the kindness of
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  their heart because they love you and they care about you?
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  Though that's an important question to ask yourself.
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  Why are they doing these good deeds?
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  Are they doing it from the kindness of their heart or are
• 14:30
  they doing it to make up for some BS that they, they that
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  they have done to me? You mean 'cause there are a few
• 14:35
  different reasons they could have picked you and there's a
• 14:36
  few different reasons they could be doing the deeds, right?
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  They, I said they could absolutely pick you and see in
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  you a future with you, right? They could see a future in you,
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  but then they start to lie and then the mask comes off.
• 14:46
  Like I have a course called the Seven Stages of a Narcissistic
• 14:49
  relationship. It goes into detail of why they
• 14:52
  picked you, right? It's courses.mentalillness.net.
• 14:54
  It goes into detail of why you were chosen and why the love
• 14:57
  bombing phase ended as well. Y'all Anyways Al enjoy your
• 15:02
  Saturdays make sure you subscribe to the channel if you
• 15:04
  haven't already, like I said TikTok maybe on the way out.
• 15:06
  So if you only follow me on TikTok and watch the longer
• 15:08
  videos over here, I post all my shorter videos over here too so
• 15:11
  don't just miss out on the shorter videos too right long
• 15:14
  short I'm over here be safe take care of yourselves, subscribe to
• 15:17
  the channel and it's always y'all as always you want me to
• 15:19
  illness I'm out. Thank you so much for making it
• 15:23
  to the end of my video. I am extremely grateful for you
• 15:26
  have no idea if you haven't already make sure you go ahead
• 15:28
  and subscribe to the channel helps reach more people and
• 15:31
  click on the screen to watch another video or to browse
• 15:33
  through another playlist. There's also a link on the
• 15:35
  screen to check out my courses and my support groups to help
• 15:38
  you heal and understand what you've been through.
• 15:40
  Thank you so much again. I will see you in a.