Latest / All Figured Out with Andrea Barr: Figuring Out Work, Life and Parenting / 38. Figuring out your hobbies as a parent

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38. Figuring out your hobbies as a parent · All Figured Out with Andrea Barr: Figuring Out Work, Life and Parenting

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  Today we're going to talk about hobbies and your hobbies and how
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  can you get back into having hobbies and doing things for the
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  sole purpose of just enjoyment versus productivity or health or
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  Wellness or anything like that? You're listening to the All
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  Figured Out podcast. I'm your host, Andrea Barr.
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  As a career coach for parents, a mom and entrepreneur, and
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  someone who spent 10 plus years in the corporate world, I still
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  don't have it all figured out. And maybe you don't either.
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  In this podcast, I'll share tools and strategies that I use
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  as my clients, and in the many areas where I don't have things
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  figured out, I'll be bringing you some amazing guest experts
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  to help us fill in the gaps. So TuneIn each week as we
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  explore how to make career and life decisions that truly work
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  for you, your family, and your big goals.
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  Let's make moves. Hello, welcome back.
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  You are listening to another episode of the All Figured Out
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  podcast with myself, yours truly, Andrea Barr.
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  Thank you so much for coming back and joining me.
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  I just want to say a really huge thank you for those of you who
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  have been with me from the beginning or who might just be
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  tuning in for the first time. I have loved every minute of
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  recording this podcast and. Putting out my thoughts and
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  bringing some amazing guests into the world on this platform.
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  And yeah, I just want to say thank you.
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  Those of you who show up and when I get to see the downloads
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  and those of you who are listening, it just really makes
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  it all feel like there's there's somebody out there.
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  It's kind of a funny platform in that way where you can't really
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  get the immediate feedback. So thank you.
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  I've really, I've really enjoyed doing this for you and and for
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  myself. And it actually kind of lends
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  well into the topic of today, which is hobbies, which we will
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  get into in a minute. However, I just want to just do
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  a quick plug for an episode that I've recorded a few weeks back
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  on your ideal schedule. I still have a download
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  available for those of you who were planning to download the
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  download. The free resource that went
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  along with that episode but you forgot because you were driving
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  or doing dishes or something of the sort.
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  It's still available. You can get it in the show notes
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  in this episode here. Highly recommend you go back and
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  listen to that episode if you have no idea what I'm talking
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  about. I talk all about your ideal
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  schedule and how do you come back to that?
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  How do you create a schedule that works for you and your
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  family, but one that feels like you're in control of versus.
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  I don't know if this is anybody else is feeling like this, but
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  sometimes it just feels like your schedule owned to you
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  versus you owning your schedule. So go back, have a listen to
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  that. You can grab the free resource
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  in the show notes here or you can always visit my website
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  andreabar.com. And there is a free resources
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  tab where I have lots of different resources, one of
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  which being this ideal schedule template.
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  And in that you're gonna find a fillable Google doc that you'll
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  get access to, which is basically just a way for you to
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  go through your ideal day, week, month, quarter, year.
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  And you could do this over and over and over again.
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  And you can do this with a partner.
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  You can do this on your own. You could do this for a weekday
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  or a weekend. And it's a really cool exercise
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  to just say if you were to just take all obstacles away, like,
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  what is your ideal schedule look like?
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  And then you can bring it down realistically and say, okay,
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  what do we actually want our schedule to look like in the
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  next season of life that we have coming up here?
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  So go check that out. So let's talk about hobbies.
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  First of all, when was the last time you actually heard the word
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  hobby? I feel like it's something that
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  we talk about South much as a kid or as you're, you know,
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  looking to apply to university or maybe in a job interview.
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  But I don't even think it's that common anymore for someone to
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  ask you about your hobbies. When was the last time you were
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  at a party or a dinner and someone's like, So what are your
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  hobbies? No, it's always What do you do
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  for work? Oh, you have kids as well.
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  How old are your kids? Oh, that's great.
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  What are they into? Like, we never actually talk
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  about ourselves and our hobbies and our interests, which is so
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  interesting. That could be a whole other
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  episode. But today we're going to talk
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  about hobbies and your hobbies, and how can you get back into
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  having hobbies and doing things for the sole purpose of just
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  enjoyment versus productivity or health or Wellness or anything
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  like that? As I was planning this episode,
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  I was doing a bit of research, and I was just, you know,
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  thinking and dreaming about hobbies as you do when you're
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  planning for an episode. And honestly, I got so excited
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  to record this, and I started to almost feel like I was
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  reinvigorated by the idea of coming back to my own hobbies.
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  I am personally in a season of life where I have very little
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  controllable time. Like I don't have windows of
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  time where we have. I mean, talking about a schedule
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  we really don't have a schedule they don't really have.
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  You know, on Tuesdays, I have 30 minutes that I can do this from
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  2:00 to 2:30 because I have a newborn.
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  And so it makes me feel excited to think about this for myself.
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  So as much as, you know, like I do for most of these episodes,
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  as much as I'm recording this for you, I have been kind of
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  inspired myself to really think about my hobbies.
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  And I hope the same for you. I hope that whatever season of
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  life that you're in, this could really get you to tap back into
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  some of that child like. Mentality around interests and
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  hobbies and just doing things for fun as I was, reflecting on
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  the hobbies and hobbies that I've had or just hobbies that
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  have become popular over the years.
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  One that I'm laughing about is the adult coloring book.
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  And I laugh in a good way because I think that was such an
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  amazing movement that happened a couple years back.
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  I don't know if it was a movement, but it was definitely
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  a huge trend where people were buying adult, quote, UN quote
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  adult coloring books. Why it had to be adult versus
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  children, I don't know. But they were really beautiful.
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  And they would come with, you know, color pencils and I think
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  indigo shopper is Amazon. Like you could buy them
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  everywhere. And it became a really huge
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  thing. There was Forbes articles that
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  were written about them where they were talking about the
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  benefits of, you know, the psychological benefits and
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  mental health reasons why you should be doing adult coloring
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  or you should just be coloring in general.
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  And there's something to it, you know, as kind of hokey as it
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  sounds or as much as people kind of jump on the bandwagon,
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  companies really get on board and commercialize something like
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  that. Sometimes I think these types
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  of, you know, commercial trends can actually really be great.
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  And I think what that did is it gave us a reminder that hobbies
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  and doing things just honestly for fun for zero reason other
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  than enjoyment is so important. And there was a lot of mental
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  health. You know, I don't know if there
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  were studies that were done necessarily, but a lot of people
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  were just telling the mental health reasons why we should be
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  tapping back into hobbies and doing things for enjoyment.
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  So I did a bit of research because I wanted to know, you
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  know, what are some of those research studies and and things
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  that have been done around the idea of hobbies and their
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  benefit. And there's a ton of research
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  out there and a few interesting stats that I found.
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  One was from the American Psychological Association, the
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  APA. And they actually found in a
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  study that 71% of adults reported feeling less stressed
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  after spending times on time on their hobbies.
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  So people who were engaging in hobbies, they did just, you
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  know, a pre and a post assessment to see, you know, how
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  stressed do you feel before, how stressed do you feel after?
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  That's incredible and. I think it's kind of, yeah, duh,
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  That makes sense. That's obvious.
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  But when you really, really think about that and you think
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  about all the different other stress relief tactics out there
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  that I would say it can be stress reliefers for some people
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  and not for others, I'm thinking, you know, exercise,
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  it's great. It doesn't always relieve stress
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  for everybody. For some people it kind of adds
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  to their stress potentially. Or meditation.
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  That's a really big, polarizing one.
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  For some people, they're just not in a space.
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  We're closing their eyes and being quiet with their thought
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  is a safe place for them. However, hobbies, 71% of people
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  felt less stressed after spending time on their hobbies.
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  I think that's pretty incredible.
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  What I think is really cool about this is when we say
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  hobbies, it's a huge, huge umbrella, right?
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  So we're not talking about 71% of people who engaged in adult
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  coloring. Felt less stressed.
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  It's just hobbies. So that's you choosing something
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  that you really enjoy and putting it into practice and
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  just seeing how it goes. So I thought that was really
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  cool one and the other one that I saw that's more work focused,
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  which is kind of cool. I talked to a lot of people in
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  my career coaching practice just about how do I, you know, engage
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  more at work? How do I become more productive?
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  My mind is going in a million different directions between
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  life and kids and what we're having for dinner and myself
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  care and Wellness. There's just like, just take a
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  breath because that was just, you know, maybe triggering for
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  you. But from a work perspective,
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  when we're thinking about productivity, the Journal of
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  Occupational and Organizational Psychology actually found a
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  positive correlation between doing creative hobbies outside
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  of work. So not, you know, hobbies, being
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  on the social committee at work or anything like that, like a
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  hobby that's outside of work. They found that there was a
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  correlation between those hobbies.
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  And increased creativity and problem solving skills in the
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  workplace. So it actually directly
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  translated to a person's ability to, you know, be high performing
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  within the workplace, which I think is also really cool.
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  So when we're talking about hobbies, we'll talk about this
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  in a minute. But when you're kind of putting
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  up those barriers like, well, this isn't productive or this
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  isn't going to be moving the needle on my big goals or blah
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  blah, blah, think back to the stat and it's actually going to
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  be helping you in the workplace. Now, I know that you know that
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  nurturing your own self-care, development and hobbies is good
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  for you, so I'm not going to spend our, you know, short
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  amount of time today in this episode with convincing you of
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  this. I'm not going to convince you
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  that hobbies are great because I feel like you already know that.
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  But I'm going to help you to really narrow down what it is
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  that you love to do. What are the hobbies that you
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  want to engage in and how can you remove some of the barriers
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  or your perceived barriers? To actually engaging in your
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  hobbies or maybe just having somebody in your ear telling
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  you, hey, it's OK to go and tackle some of these things that
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  you love, maybe that's enough. That's all you need.
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  So today we're going to be talking about removing the
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  barriers, really putting the systems in place so that you can
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  enjoy and engage in some of the hobbies that you might have been
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  putting off for a while. OK, so I've got five ways for
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  you to get back to or get into some new hobbies as a busy
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  working parent, First off, I want you to tap back into what
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  you love. And this sounds really basic,
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  but I want you to think about what is it that you love to do
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  when you were younger? I ask all of my coaching clients
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  this. I've talked about this on
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  previous episodes where we're talking about career changes and
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  looking at your next career steps.
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  What did you love to do when you were younger?
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  It's such an interesting question.
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  When you tap back into that, you're like, oh wow, I did a lot
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  of sports or I was really into creative arts.
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  I personally was into musical theater.
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  So while my hobby, and we'll get into this, but my hobby might
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  not be going back and doing a musical because that's a huge,
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  huge, huge time commitment. What are some of the areas of
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  musical theater that really, really brought me enjoyment?
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  And is there a way that I can bring that into my current life,
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  my current situation? Another thing you can think
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  about, this is kind of a funny one, but.
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  Was is would be, what are you saving on Instagram, TikTok,
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  Pinterest, all these platforms have ways that we can save
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  things. And I'm not sure if you're in
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  that space where you are kind of scrolling through Instagram or
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  TikTok and you're like, oh, that's so cool, I'm going to
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  save this and try this later. And then you've got this folder
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  that is overflowing with recipes or crafts or Diy's or things
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  that you're like, oh, I want to come back to this, but you never
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  do. And that's OK.
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  I think what's really interesting about those folders
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  is what you can do is you can go back into them and you can say,
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  ha, there seems to be a bit of a theme.
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  I seem to be saving a lot of cake baking recipes or something
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  like that. And it can kind of give you a
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  bit of a nod in the direction of, oh, maybe I want to be
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  exploring baking or cooking or DIY projects around the home.
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  And it can kind of help you to tap into what it is that you
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  might find a lot of enjoyment out of or something that you
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  just want to try. Another question would be if you
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  are, you know, chatting with friends or acquaintances, if you
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  watch YouTube bloggers or vloggers or whatever it is and
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  you see other people doing things and you're like, Oh my
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  God, that looks so cool. My sister does pottery.
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  She does wheel pottery. I don't even know what that's
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  called. But you know, when you've got
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  the big clay and you have a wheel and it's spinning and
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  you're throwing the clay or whatever it is, she does that.
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  And every time we talk about it and she gives me like a
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  beautiful piece of her pottery, I'm like, I really, really,
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  really want to do this. And so I mean, and that's a huge
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  indication of something that you could try tackling or you could
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  try taking a step toward. So for me right now, a wheel
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  pottery. I really should have looked up
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  what it's called is something that's probably not quite
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  something I'm ready for, just cuz I don't have a consistent
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  schedule and it takes a lot of time.
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  But hey, could I buy a bit of female clay or some clay from
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  Michael's or Amazon and just like do a bit of clay work at
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  home? Like that could be something, a
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  small step that I could take in that direction.
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  Now a huge watch out for this would be making sure that you're
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  not going towards something that you're putting the word should
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  in front of. I'm such a broken record with
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  this, but anytime you add the word should in front of
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  something, that is a red flag. Now sometimes we have to do
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  things, but just watch that word shoulds if you're like oh I
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  should be doing X or should be doing Y.
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  That's probably an indication that it's not a hobby and it's
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  more of an obligation, or maybe something that is just part of
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  the To Do List. Here's your second step.
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  Figure out what's stopping you from attacking this hobby or
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  engaging in this hobby. Is it time?
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  Do you just feel like you don't have enough time?
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  Are there financial reasons? Do you feel like there's a lot
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  of hobbies that you want to engage in that just require a
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  really large financial commitment and you're just not
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  really in a place where you want to commit that right now?
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  Is there overwhelmed? Just a general sense of I have
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  so many things and so many hobbies that I wanna try that I
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  just don't even know where to start?
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  Or is there something that you have actually tried in the past
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  and you just didn't really like doing it and you've put it back
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  on your list to try it again? And so there just isn't that
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  sense of, you know, desire to try it again.
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  It's kind of a funny one, but it's actually, it's more common
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  than you think, where you're like, oh, I really want to OK, I
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  should try crocheting again because, you know, everyone in
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  my family crochets and they're all really, really great at
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  crocheting. But you've tried it before and
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  you actually didn't really like it.
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  It didn't bring you a sense of calm.
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  It was maybe a little bit stressful, a little too
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  complicated, But you still have it on your list because you're
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  like, I should, I should try that again?
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  That right there, That should or that sense of obligation?
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  It's probably one of the reasons that might be stopping you
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  because you don't really feel that motivated because you have
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  tried it before and you didn't really like it.
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  So just think on some of those reasons, you know, what is it
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  that's stopping you? And if you're in a space where
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  you're like, well, I just don't feel like this is a good use of
• 14:54
  my time. Kind of like this is going to be
• 14:55
  a theme throughout this episode. Like there's a million other
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  things that I could be doing. Remember that research that I
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  was talking about before about how this investment of time can
• 15:02
  actually help you to be more productive and happier in other
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  areas of your life? So don't see it as if I'm not
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  doing this, I'm not doing the a million other things on my To Do
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  List. See it as if I invest this time
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  now it's gonna pay off elsewhere #3 Assess what time that you
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  could commit to this hobby. So this is all about being
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  practical and realistic. If you're in a season of life
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  like me where you've got really sporadic nap windows, you've
• 15:26
  just got to work within that reality.
• 15:28
  Or maybe your kids are a bit older and they have a pretty
• 15:30
  consistent schedule because they go to school and they come home
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  in a certain time and they have soccer on this day and they've
• 15:35
  got dance on another day. So regardless of what season
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  you're in, just think about what time you have to be able to
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  commit, not Joe down the road. Not Joanne beside her.
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  Like, what do you have that you can actually give to a hobby?
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  And what this can do is it can help you to take that list of
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  things that you're like. Here's some of the things that
• 15:55
  I'd really love to try. So from step number one, looking
• 15:59
  at the things that you've done in the past or that you've saved
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  on Instagram or TikTok or wherever and.
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  Really start to narrow it down by being like, OK, I've got
• 16:08
  sporadic 30 minute windows, which means that I can't sign up
• 16:10
  for a 2 hour pottery class every Tuesday night.
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  I mean, for me, that wouldn't work.
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  I'm really, really excited to try a pottery class, but I can't
• 16:18
  do that right now because my baby won't take a bottle.
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  So I am the sole nourishment provider and that's just the
• 16:25
  reality. And that's OK, that can go on my
• 16:27
  later list, but it's not my reality right now.
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  So I've got to think of OK if I want to engage in some hobbies.
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  What are ones that I could do that could be sporadic, really
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  random, I could just pick it up really easily and it could be
• 16:40
  done safe from home 4th commit. So when I was in school to
• 16:46
  become an executive coach, we talked a lot about commitment
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  and enrollment with our clients and how do we support our
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  clients in becoming committed to the process of coaching and
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  implementing the action items that they set out to achieve
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  their goals. We talked about this a lot
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  because it's all well and good, say from the example of
• 17:04
  coaching, it's all well and good to have a great conversation,
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  but it doesn't do anybody any good if you don't follow through
• 17:09
  afterwards. So just like that with hobbies,
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  it's all well and good again to save things in Instagram and
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  TikTok, but if you don't commit and follow through.
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  Then it actually can create a negative effect on you because
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  then you've got this desire in your heart or in your brain and
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  then you start to feel guilty about it because you're like,
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  I've saved all these things and I never commit and so on and so
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  forth. It can be really detrimental to
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  our mindset. You might be hearing baby noises
• 17:34
  in the background and this is just the reality.
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  He's trying to go to sleep and and again talking about sporadic
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  windows. This is, this is just my reality
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  right now. So thanks for thanks for
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  sticking with me. So commitment.
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  One really easy way to commit to something would be to put a bit
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  of financial commitment behind it.
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  Now I know this isn't always going to be possible for
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  everybody, but it doesn't have to be a massive financial
• 17:56
  commitment. But there's so much research
• 17:58
  that's done about, you know, courses or webinars or things
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  like that that you purchase online.
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  Even if you put like A5 or a $20 commitment towards something,
• 18:07
  you're just a bit more engaged because you're like, I pay for
• 18:09
  this. So I'm going to show up
• 18:12
  scheduling, having a friend go along with you.
• 18:16
  Those are different other types of commitments where you can it,
• 18:19
  it can just help a bit more. So putting it in the schedule or
• 18:21
  signing up for something with a friend that you feel committed
• 18:24
  to them, that can be really helpful.
• 18:26
  Before the 5th step, pause and think, if this were to happen
• 18:30
  for me, how would I feel? Is it something that I'd be
• 18:33
  excited to keep going with? Is it something that I feel a
• 18:36
  bit of dread around? And if that's the case, I know
• 18:40
  you wouldn't. Necessarily think that that
• 18:42
  would actually be the case after going through this whole
• 18:44
  process, but you never know, you might have come up with
• 18:46
  something that's just kind of down the wrong path.
• 18:48
  If you're really thinking about it and you're not wildly pumped
• 18:51
  to go and tackle this hobby, then just stop and reduce steps
• 18:54
  1:00 to 4:00. So I had to say that before we
• 18:57
  get into the 5th and final step, which is enrollment.
• 18:59
  And this is a really big constant in any sort of coaching
• 19:03
  that I do or advice giving or consulting.
• 19:05
  It's who do you need to enroll to make this happen?
• 19:08
  I know I'm a broken record, but there's logistics and there's
• 19:12
  planning that comes with having a family.
• 19:14
  And so who do you need to enroll to make this happen for you,
• 19:16
  whether it's caregivers or partners?
• 19:18
  Can you get them enrolled and excited in the process with you?
• 19:22
  Can you tell them a bit about the why behind it and what is
• 19:25
  lighting you up about this hobby so that the next time you go to
• 19:28
  do the hobby and you're about to bail, that person can say no,
• 19:31
  no, Like, I've got this, go, go and enjoy.
• 19:33
  This actually happened recently with my husband where I have had
• 19:37
  been doing a workout class the last couple weeks on Monday
• 19:39
  mornings and they have childcare there so I can bring my baby and
• 19:43
  it's just really easy cuz I can feed him just before and then I
• 19:46
  could feed him after if I need to.
• 19:48
  So it's been really great and we had a bit of a scheduling
• 19:50
  conflict this week and my husband literally asked me okay,
• 19:54
  what do what could I do to help you make this happen?
• 19:57
  And I thought that was just so cool.
• 19:58
  But it's because I enrolled him in the process.
• 20:01
  I wasn't just doing this kind of on my own blindly.
• 20:03
  And he just didn't know. He was kind of part of the
• 20:06
  process. And so who can you enroll to
• 20:08
  help you do that? And I know that with hobbies,
• 20:11
  these types of things and these types of 20 minute episodes can
• 20:13
  seem a lot easier and just you can listen to this and be like
• 20:17
  yeah, easier said than done, Andrea.
• 20:18
  But I know that you could start off with something small.
• 20:21
  So my tip for you would be to tackle something super small if
• 20:24
  it's a 1530 minute hobby versus A2 hour biweekly commitment or
• 20:29
  weekly commitment, but something small that you can try and have
• 20:33
  fun with it. I would love to hear what you're
• 20:36
  trying out. I love hobbies so much so please
• 20:38
  let me know. Send me a message and let me
• 20:40
  know what you were trying out and how it's going for you.
• 20:43
  Thank you for listening. You can access all resources
• 20:45
  mentioned in this episode via my website andreabar.com/podcast
• 20:50
  and let's chat on Instagram. I'm at Andrea Bar Coaching and I
• 20:53
  reply to every DM I get. If you love this episode, don't
• 20:57
  forget to quickly hit that button on your podcast app to
• 20:59
  give me a 5 star rating and drop in a review.
• 21:02
  It would truly mean the world. And if you're like me and love
• 21:06
  to share things that you love, send this episode to a friend
• 21:09
  who you think would appreciate this topic.
• 21:12
  Thanks again for listening, and I'll chat with you next week.