Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / #277 How To Ruin Your Child's Day In One Move

Transcript

#277 How To Ruin Your Child's Day In One Move · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: I would never, ever, ever do that to you.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: You're fucking lies.
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: I would never slow down this podcast.
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: Can I start it?
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Start. Vic's running around right now. Vic, sit down.
• 0:15
  Speaker 3: I'm doing my job.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: Sit down.
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: I'm not in the mood anymore.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: What were you saying?
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: Ash, talk to me.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: Talk to me.
• 0:21
  Speaker 4: Come on.
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: Forget about it.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Oscar is drawing what?
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: Stussies.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: They're not called stussies. They're the graffiti S.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: Google it.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: Vic, please bring it up.
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: Now, he was blown away when I double-decked the Stussy.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: Ooh.
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: So you went one, two, three lines, one, two, three lines, one, two, three.
• 0:39
  Speaker 4: Lines, and then you cross them over like that and
• 0:41
  Speaker 4: it makes an extra double S Stussy.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: That's almost too much.
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: He was like, whoa! Cool, Dad.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: What's it called, Vic?
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: The Stussy S.
• 0:51
  Speaker 4: Woos.
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: Woosah.
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: Say it. Say it. Say it.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to To The Big Dads. I am Matty J.
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: And I am Ash, also known as Wright.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: This is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good,
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: it is the bad.
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: And the relatable.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: And if you come for advice, don't do it because
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: Ash is always wrong.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: I was right in this instance. What do you got
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: for me?
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: What do you got?
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: What have I got?
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: How you been?
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: Got a new phone. I've defected. First it was China.
• 1:34
  Speaker 4: Now I've bought a phone that's an American company made
• 1:37
  Speaker 4: in China.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: I think what you've done this morning is on par
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: with divorcing your wife.
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: No.
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: Oh.
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: No. Yeah.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: Ash just.
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: I wonder what happened to my phone on that sex pillow.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: Probably slide down. April doesn't slide down.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: She stays firmly on top.
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: Sorry, babe.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: We waltzed into JB Hi-Fi. That's not sponsored.
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: We did waltz. We ran.
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: I thought you were early.
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: Well, someone's got to be. Facts. Facts. Facts. Well played.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: And I think in about two minutes, Ash has chosen
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: a phone. It's a big jump going from iPhone to Android.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: You've chosen the color. It took the same amount of
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: time for me to buy an iPhone case than for
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: you to buy a whole new phone. Actually, you beat me.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: I was still deciding, do I want to have clear
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: or do I want.
• 2:28
  Speaker 4: To have green?
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: I even bought a case.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: And at the same time, I.
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: Was like, chuck your case in, would you be good?
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: Not only a new phone though, like a new provider.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I just defected from Apple to Android. I've had enough.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: I'm fed up.
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: Why?
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: With Apple. AirDrop never works. That was the main catalyst.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: That's the argument that Laura and I always have because
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: I'm like, it's your phone. Restart your phone. She's like,
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: it's your phone. And we have to like dock.
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: You would have a happier household if one person went
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: to Android.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: It would definitely be a lot happier in our household.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: I think we'd have more sex.
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: I think so too.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: If AirDrop worked.
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: It'll be a happy house.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: When Laura and I get divorced, we're never getting divorced,
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: we'll be like, if only we'd fixed airdrops, we'd moved
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: to Android months, years ago.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: Honestly, I just.
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: How much are you airdropping?
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: You don't want to know.
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: That's private. Okay. Look, I was just fed up with
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: the norm.
• 3:25
  Speaker 4: And I wanted to reprogram my neuropathways to use something different.
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: And I'm already frustrated and it's been an hour.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: What's life like on an Android?
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm halfway, I'm half set it up,
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: half still using my iPhone.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: Ash is now, he's got four phones on the desk.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: Are you becoming a drug dealer? You could now.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: I could now.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: You're just an idea.
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: Android is undetectable.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: We do not condone taking drugs.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: Just selling them.
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: I don't think Android is easier. If that is the
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: reason you swapped.
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: It's not that.
• 3:56
  Speaker 4: I just, a combination between I'm fed up with being
• 3:59
  Speaker 4: in the Apple ecosystem and being a slave to Steve Jobs.
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: May he rest in peace.
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: So now you're in the Google ecosystem.
• 4:06
  Speaker 4: Now I want to start the Google, well, we use
• 4:08
  Speaker 4: Google calendars, we use Google.
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: Drive, but then we use an iPhone like a bunch
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: of chumps. Now I've got it all.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: He's got a point. He's got a point. Guys, I
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: need to announce that this week in particular is a
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: special one because it's kindness week.
• 4:23
  Speaker 4: I'm as kind as week every week when you're me
• 4:25
  Speaker 4: because I'm kind to everyone.
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: She is very kind.
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: So it's extra kind week for me.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: If you are, though.
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: Not to you. I like to treat you mean, keep
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: you keen. It's working.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: It's always push and pull with you and me.
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: I like it. Okay, should we fuck? Later.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: It's also November.
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: What are you going to do.
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: For Kindness Week?
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: Maybe be kind to me for once.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: I am so patient with you.
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: That's exhausting, I know.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: No, it's not. I enjoy it. I enjoy it. It's
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: like having a pet.
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: Go on. Are you finished?
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: Man's best friend.
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: Thank you. I'll take that.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: If everyone could have an ash.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: That's true.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: Woo. But I would say at the moment there's a
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: lot of crap going on in the world. There's a
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: lot of angry people. There's a lot of rage baiting.
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: For Kindness Week it might be nice to do a
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: little act of kindness to someone. Say hello to them
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: on the street. Maybe say an extra thank you with
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: your coffee, man. I actually did.
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: Rage bait people politely.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: Someone had the same shoes as me. And I said, hey,
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: nice shoes. And he was like, ah.
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: He was like, just take them from me.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: It took him a while because I saw his shoes
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: before he saw mine. So he was very confused. Being kind,
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: it's easy to get wrong. It's easy to get wrong.
• 5:39
  Speaker 4: But, yeah, look, honestly, if I'm going to give anyone
• 5:41
  Speaker 4: any advice on kindness, just like a nice little kind
• 5:44
  Speaker 4: compliment here and there.
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, goes a long way.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: It does. I think you look great today in that
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: black shirt.
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: Thank you. I love the hat. They're available online at 2datingdads. com.
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: It looks good on you.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: It's perfectly shaped for your head.
• 5:56
  Speaker 4: Vic?
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: I was going to say, and the shirt is Movember.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: The shirt is Movember.
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: It is. Grow a mo. A grow-mitment, if you will.
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: What have we got for Vic? A little ray of
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: sunshine over there too. Better cover us for six months,
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: won't it?
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: You look, you seem happy today.
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: I am.
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: I am very happy.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: What's happened?
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: I don't know. I feel like my hormones at the
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: moment are really going up and down. I'm in my 40s,
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: unlike the two of you.
• 6:23
  Speaker 4: I'm 39.
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: I'm not far off.
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: And as Jackie said, when we get to these years,
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: the scope of a woman's hormone at this age is
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: equivalent to what men will experience over like 175 years,
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: what we experience in a three-year period.
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: So we have to do it longer. It's not a competition.
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: That's what I'm hearing. I'm hearing that we have to
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: do it longer. You've only got to do it for
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: three years. We have to do it for much, much longer.
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: It's a marathon, not a sprint.
• 6:46
  Speaker 4: Remember that, guys. After that three years, you're fine. And
• 6:50
  Speaker 4: we've got to carry on for 175 years.
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: Well, you won't live that long, so you'll never.
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: Not saying things like that, I won't. Sorry, yes.
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: The reason Matt asks is because last week I was
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: a little bit down and this week I'm very up.
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: Good.
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: So it's a roller coaster.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: When I'm in a really good mood, I'm like, oh, God,
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: any moment I'm going to crash pretty soon.
• 7:10
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I was in a good mood last week before
• 7:12
  Speaker 4: the power went out and then it just was a
• 7:14
  Speaker 4: domino of bad things happening.
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: Sometimes when I'm in a bad mood, I'm like, things
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: can only go up.
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: And they don't. Woo! Oh, it's good that you're happy.
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: I'm happy. I'm happy. You're happy.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: Surprise, surprise. By the time this episode goes to air,
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: Ash will be away.
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but this time it's for business.
• 7:32
  Speaker 4: Again.
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: So I hope, Ash, you are enjoying your trip in
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: New Zealand.
• 7:36
  Speaker 4: I hope I have internet over there to pay someone's invoices.
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: Don't shush me.
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: Do we know when that content that you're filming will
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: come out?
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: Oh, no, I don't have any details. It will be
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: a television show, but I don't know when it will
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: be out.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: Channel 9?
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: It'll be Channel 9 at this stage, yeah. Well, that's
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: what they've signed off on it. Don't know when, but
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: when I have details, you guys will know.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: You might be the new Channel 9 guy.
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: Channel 9 guy.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: This is the beginnings.
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: They don't pay him very much, so I hope not.
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: I was just going to say, do you feel like
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: it's cutting your grass for what you used to do?
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: Not at all. I think it's great. I think it's
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: a beautiful thing watching Ash's wings grow and watch him
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: fly out and experience.
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: Make a fool of himself.
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: I feel like a parent who's waving off their child
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: to their first job.
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: I've never had a TV job before.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: You have had many TV jobs.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: Fair.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: Sacking is the wrong word.
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: Redundant.
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: Let go.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And shout out to Healthy, Wealthy and Wise. That's
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: coming back on Channel 10.
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, good for them. That's not raw or anything. You
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: got an update.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: What's your update? Update.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: I've had to, and you know, I've quit drinking this year.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: What?
• 8:40
  Speaker 4: And I used snacking to help me with some of
• 8:43
  Speaker 4: my cravings. But the problem is I seem to have
• 8:46
  Speaker 4: snacked too much that now I can't eat chocolate.
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: What do you mean? Without getting mouth ulcers. Remember I
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: was talking about mouth ulcers.
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 8:53
  Speaker 4: There's a protein in chocolate, fucking protein in everything these days,
• 8:57
  Speaker 4: protein in chocolate, a particular protein that can cause mouth cankers,
• 9:01
  Speaker 4: which is ulcers.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: Cankers?
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: So I've had to go.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: Really?
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: I have gone cold turkey.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: How much are you, on average, just give me a
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: ballpark figure, how much chocolate do you eat in a night?
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: You couldn't handle the truth. Tell me.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: To be honest, is it a safe place? No judgment.
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: I need a block.
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: Easy. Every single night?
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: Shit.
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah. If no one stopped me, I'll take more. Give
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: it to me. What do you got? What are you
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: hiding from me? Okay, wow. I'm so curious. That seems
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: like so much.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: That seems like a lot.
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because of the sugar in alcohol. That's the thing
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: you've got really fucking. But I haven't had chocolate in.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: Six minutes.
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: Twelve minutes. No. It's been a couple of days. Okay,
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: it's been a couple of days.
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: So he's now alcohol free and chocolate free.
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: But I also, even after a couple of days, I
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: already feel better. Like I feel like.
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: So what do you move to? What's instead of chocolate?
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: Just white knuckle it. Just white knuckle it.
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: He's into the protein balls.
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: No, yeah, but they're not the chocolate ones. So like
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: last night I had a couple of arrow roots, not
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: the same.
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: That's pathetic.
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: That's dry.
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: That is grim.
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: I know, I was like.
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: At least, like, take a step down. Like, drop down
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: to something still.
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: Saltines, you reckon?
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: Slightly appetising. You're like, well, I've moved on to cardboard.
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I literally was like, I just took a bite
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: out of the gyprock at home.
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: Who even has arrow roots in their cupboards?
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: Macy, how dare you.
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: Oh, cute Macy.
• 10:18
  Speaker 4: I'm putting a lot of energy into these episodes. I'm
• 10:20
  Speaker 4: really hot, so sorry. But, yeah, so I'll keep you
• 10:23
  Speaker 4: updated later. But I already am feeling better. I'm waking
• 10:26
  Speaker 4: up better because it's obviously a comfort thing and a
• 10:30
  Speaker 4: fill in the boredom thing.
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: It's an ADHD thing too.
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: Thanks for reminding me of that.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: Hey, guys, just like Ash is always on holiday, I
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: am on another panel.
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: Woo-hoo.
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: Another one? Aren't you on one today? Tomorrow? Every day
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: this week.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of panels. One a week.
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because the one that you're on is tomorrow. We're
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: recording this. Okay, yes.
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: So my local council, shout out to Waverley.
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: I can feel where this is going. What? Are we
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: moving to Canberra?
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: No, not at all. Nothing wrong with Canberra, but there
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: is a Bondi Dads group. They catch up on Fridays
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: and we're doing it at the Boot Factory. It's not
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: actually a boot factory. It's just the name of the venue.
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: Why do they call things different things to what they are?
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: Maybe it was once a boot factory.
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: But if you want to come, it is on the
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: 20th of November, 5 to 6 o'clock, and we will
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: be learning about periods with Dr. Danny Barrington.
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: Very good.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: And guess where she's from?
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: Canberra.
• 11:25
  Speaker 4: WA.
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: Oh.
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: Yes. Hopefully she hasn't listened to the podcast.
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: We'll find out. She might turn up and be like,
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: it's you.
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: So come along if you're in the East. So if
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: you're in anywhere.
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: Are you asking for backup? Where is the Boot Factory?
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: In case she brings backup from Perth. Yeah, in case
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: it's a wrestle between me and Dr. Danny.
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: It's a thumb wrestle. Oh, very good. Is it free,
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: you said?
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: It's free.
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: Oh, I'm going to love a free panel.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: It's free at the Boot Factory.
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: Wait, so people get to look at you for free?
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: That's outstanding. What a dream.
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: Where is the Boot Factory?
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: It's in Bondi Junction. Bondi Junction for those playing at home.
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: Lime bike jousting. Who's that?
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: Have you become familiar with lime bike jousting?
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: I know lime bikes. I know jousting, but I haven't
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: seen them together.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: It's the marrying of two beautiful things.
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: Like hobby horsing.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: It's in the same world, but it's just better.
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: Sounds better.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: I will watch jousting without any hesitation. If there is
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: some level of jousting in front of me on social media,
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: in real life, I will gladly sit there and watch it.
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: What about jousting is it that you really like?
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: It's just very primal. The knights.
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: It's about knocking them off, right? Dangerous.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: For anyone who doesn't know what jousting is... I'm not
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: a historian, but medieval times, you would have one person
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: on one side and the opposite side, another man or
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: woman on a horse. They would then ride together in
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: a straight line with a big pole. Very well said.
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: Thank you. It's dangerous.
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: So there is now Lime Mike jousting. It is in
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: London Fields, which is my old park that I used
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: to live at.
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: When you lived in London?
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: When I lived in London for four years. Do you
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: want to see Lime Bike jousting?
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: I didn't even know jousting was still a thing.
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: Lime Bikes were in a different country.
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: It's another international. Guys, Lime Bike Jousting. I want to
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: bring it to Sydney. It's so good.
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: They have full helmets and everything. Look at this. That's awesome.
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: I love how they do their bikes up in the
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: colours that they're in. Look at the amount of people there.
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: It's warm. They're celebrities.
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: How old would you say they are?
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: It's hard to tell because they're in full, we'll put
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: this on social media.
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: They must be like pre-30s.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: They're in like proper armour, so you cannot see their face.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: They're protected.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: Can we sponsor a team?
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: I hope so. You know like what's that run it
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: straight challenge where you.
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: Have two people and they run straight the.
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: Football and they just collide?
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: Very dangerous.
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: It's like this.
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: I like it. Do we not have it here?
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: Not that I've seen. If there is some kind of
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: underground line bike jousting competition that is taking place in Australia,
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: let us know.
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: We want to come. I want to come.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: We want to come.
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: I want to be a part of it.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: Would you do it?
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: I'm very good on a bike.
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: I've seen you. I've seen you on a bike.
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: I'm not as good as you.
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: Not as good as me. Your balance is impeccable. My
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: balance is outstanding. On a line bike too.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: Very good.
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: Maybe I could be the ticket. Maybe it could be
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: my secret. Oh, not another hobby.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: You don't need any of those.
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 14:12
  Speaker 4: Hey, something happened to me.
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: I was at a kid's birthday party.
• 14:17
  Speaker 4: At Time Zone, which loud, which I don't really mind.
• 14:21
  Speaker 4: April can't go to those ones because she just gets
• 14:23
  Speaker 4: so overwhelmed. But it's just chaos. Like personally, not something
• 14:27
  Speaker 4: that I would.
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: I don't mind it that Laura is the same. Laura
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: is like.
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: It's a kryptonite.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: It's like silent in there for me. I'm like zen.
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: I'm so zen. All the noises.
• 14:39
  Speaker 4: But I was in there for this birthday and we're
• 14:42
  Speaker 4: running around like the games bit because there's bowling.
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: They did it first. Big fan of that because it's
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: a little bit more organized. And then the chaos begins.
• 14:49
  Speaker 4: And obviously kids are running everywhere. I'm with Oscar, and
• 14:52
  Speaker 4: this old guy, I'm going to say old. He's like, say, 50, middle-aged,
• 14:57
  Speaker 4: exactly middle-aged.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: 50, still young.
• 14:59
  Speaker 4: And he was like, he took a look at me,
• 15:01
  Speaker 4: doubled back, gave another look at me like he knew me,
• 15:04
  Speaker 4: and he was like, are.
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: You the guy that bloody puts the towel on his head?
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: He goes, my wife sends me all that all the time.
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's me. He goes,
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: I don't get it. And he turned around and walked off.
• 15:14
  Speaker 3: Oh, my God. A live review.
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: Such a boomer.
• 15:19
  Speaker 4: It was a perfect that age man where it's like
• 15:22
  Speaker 4: he didn't need to add any more to that.
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: He just said, ah, I don't get it.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: Were you there going like muscle memory preparing for a selfie?
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: I was like, come and get a photo with me, sir.
• 15:32
  Speaker 4: But I just wanted to tell you like it was
• 15:33
  Speaker 4: probably one of the most humble exchanges I've ever had
• 15:36
  Speaker 4: and I quite enjoyed it.
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: Also, a boomer is not 50. That's Gen X.
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: There's another?
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: What?
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: Who's Gen X?
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: Gen X is like those who are in their 50s
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: now or just getting into their 50s.
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: Anyone older than me is a boomer.
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: 60 plus I would say is boomers. 60? My brother
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: and sister are in like 50s, so they're definitely Gen X.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: Well, it's always nice to meet a fan.
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, even if he doesn't get it. The thing is,
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: still views because he's seen them. Yeah, I'll take it.
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: Just share it one more time, please.
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: Speaking of arcade games, time zones, I have discovered the
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: perfect way to destroy a moment, to destroy an evening
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: with the kids.
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: Oh, go on.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: This may be obvious to some people, but not to me.
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: We were at the RSL recently, Ash, unbeknownst to me,
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: there was a conversation between us and another family who
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: was dining with us, having dinner together. The kids had
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: gone into the RSL's games room where there are lots
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: of fun activities for the kids to play. And there's
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: a rule that was announced to everyone, but I wasn't there.
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: I think I was in the toilet. They were like,
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: no games for any kids at all.
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: That is the rule, right?
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: Everyone like it was announced by the parents how many
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: kids there's about six seven kids no not eight kids
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: 12 kids 27 children that's about right yeah there was
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: a thousand of them.
• 16:53
  Speaker 4: You're like a pipe piper and that's just into the
• 16:55
  Speaker 4: rsl 30.
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: Kids falling behind so they had said to the children
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: under no circumstances at all will any of you play
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: any of these games whatsoever okay i've come out of
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: the toilet And the children have said to me, Uncle Matt,
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: Uncle Matt, can you play this game and win us
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: a toy?
• 17:15
  Speaker 4: And you had a moment there to make a decision
• 17:17
  Speaker 4: not knowing what was already said to be like, these
• 17:20
  Speaker 4: kids are going to respect me.
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: When I do this.
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: Absolutely. It was a calling that I answered gladly. Yeah.
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: And it was the claw game.
• 17:27
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Oh, big money waste unless you're good at it.
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: How else can you reject that opportunity?
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: What was in the claw? Was it like a toy
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: or a chocolate one?
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: There was a few. There was like four. I had
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: a selection, a smorgasbord of claw games.
• 17:40
  Speaker 4: I have it on good record that they are a
• 17:42
  Speaker 4: good moneymaker for an RSL.
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: Oh, I have no doubt.
• 17:46
  Speaker 4: They're all the RSLs, aren't they? It goes gambling. Claw
• 17:51
  Speaker 4: machine alcohol, I reckon.
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: Mate, and so I was like, do you know what?
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: I'll do one round and I'll win one of the toys.
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: There's a little in there with these little circular balls
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: that they bounce and they light up. First go. Nailed it.
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: Gets it, right? Second time.
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: Uncle Matty's so cool.
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: So it leads you into a false sense of security.
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: I swear, like the pokies, the claw goes limp. It
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: knows when it picks up something. And so then like
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: it's like.
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: That is such a good.
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: Can you describe though?
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: It's claw coming down, grabs the item and just.
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: Goes limp and like.
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: Retreats. Yeah.
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: Like a flaccid penis.
• 18:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: It's a claw with three prongs of flaccid penises.
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: And it's like. This is what it sounds like. Oh,
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: that doesn't work. I was hoping for like.
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: That was a nice try though.
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: So anyway, so I then have. 24 children. There's about
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: seven kids.
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: I have one toy.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: And I was like, look, guys.
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: You've got to go up, not down.
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: I was like, I can't afford to keep going. So,
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: you know, one of you is going to have to
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: share this toy. And then they all start being like,
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: but I want my toy. And why does he get
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: the toy? And I was like, fucking hell, kids, just relax.
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: One bounce each.
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: I'm like, we've got one toy. We can all share that.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: We're all having fun. Kids start screaming. One starts crying,
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: but I didn't get a toy. Can you do it again?
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, well, I've already just put in $ 10
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: into the machine. And then all the kids are crying
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, it's like a fire. It's like a
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: spot fire. I'm back burning. Next thing, I'm engulfed in flames.
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: And then the parents come out and they're like, what's
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: all the commotion? And I'm there with a toy and
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: I'm like, you didn't just get that from the claw machine.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: And I was like.
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: You said no kids are allowed to play. Loophole.
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: It fucking ruined.
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: It ruined the evening.
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: For the rest of the night, a good couple of hours,
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: every child one by one having a meltdown just to watch.
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: word of warning, if you see a claw machine, you run.
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: You run and you don't look back.
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: That's the thing.
• 19:57
  Speaker 4: They do lead you into that. The first time you
• 19:59
  Speaker 4: do it, you're like, am I good at this?
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: I know. Am I possibly good at this? And then
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: you go again and it goes limp.
• 20:07
  Speaker 4: So at the same party that I was at, the
• 20:09
  Speaker 4: guy that said he doesn't get it, Oscar's obsessed with
• 20:12
  Speaker 4: the claw machines too, but he doesn't realise you play
• 20:14
  Speaker 4: a claw machine, you don't win any tickets.
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: Catch 22.
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: So he came back and he was like, can you
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: check my tickets? And I was like, oh yeah, what
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: games do you play? He's like, oh, the claw. I
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: was like, oh, tapped it. And I said, you got nothing, buddy.
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: He's like, nothing? I'm like, yeah, because it's just a
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: complete rip off, bro. Like you need to play.
• 20:29
  Speaker 4: So all the other kids played the other games and
• 20:31
  Speaker 4: they all had tickets to buy things and he had nothing.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: There is only one way to leave a time zone
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: and that's in tears.
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: You never leave happy without at least one kid crying.
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: I know. And, like, I don't want to attack time zone.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: Apologies because it's a great organisation, a great business.
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: They're a non-profit. I made that up.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: I believe it.
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: They're a full-for-profit.
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: I believe it. Oh, God. So, yeah, I ended up
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: spending $ 30 for one little ball that broke in two seconds.
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: Can I show you someone who is having a shitter
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: day than you?
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: Please.
• 21:03
  Speaker 4: So we did get a video sent to us by
• 21:05
  Speaker 4: a mum. She's not having a great time and you'll
• 21:07
  Speaker 4: see why and I'm going to share it with you
• 21:09
  Speaker 4: right now. Okay, this is from Regan. Toilet training has
• 21:12
  Speaker 4: been a wild ride. Nailed wheeze from day one but poos.
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: Terrifying.
• 21:19
  Speaker 4: Cue withholding constipation and me fibre loading him into oblivion.
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: Fuss. Well written.
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: She's funny.
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: Well written. Fiber loading, or as some others might know
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: it as fiber maxing.
• 21:33
  Speaker 4: Fast forward to this video, cuddling, holding, and coaxing him
• 21:37
  Speaker 4: through a poo while he stands off target over the potty.
• 21:41
  Speaker 4: My quick mom brain decided my cupped hands would be easier.
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: To clean than the floor.
• 21:47
  Speaker 4: But now there's we beside the potty and our six
• 21:51
  Speaker 4: month old is crawling towards the entire scene.
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: She's, hang on.
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: Like first slip.
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: All whilst my husband is out. Of course.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: Of course.
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: So there's a video. Now, I just want to preface
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: this by saying there could be shit involved. Considering. It's
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: one of those days where I wonder, what did I
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: do in a previous life? Oh!
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 22:15
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: Josh is at the car. Dad's getting a massage. Josh
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: is trying to crawl. And I've got a toddler screaming
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: at me. He needs to poop.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: I love her. She's just yapping to the camera walking
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: down the hallway.
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: And she's got poo all over her T-shirt.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: She's got the white T-shirt.
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: I can't look at it.
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: That's got to be parent of the week. That's parent
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: of the week.
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: Parent of the week.
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: Parent of the week.
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: Huge shout out to Regan. You deserve a medal.
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: You took a video, a selfie with a human turd.
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: Probably cool on her phone now.
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: And can I just say thank you.
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: That is just toilet training in a video. Oh, my.
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: That is parenting summed up perfectly.
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that is.
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: 100%.
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: Breaking news, Vic. What have you got for us?
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well, this is kind of a serious story this week.
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: The UK government is urging Britons to stock up on
• 23:09
  Speaker 3: essential supplies to last three days in the face of
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: looming threats that range from severe weather to cyber attacks.
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: Experts say Australians have a fairly adequate level of preparedness
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: for emergencies but could do better as many report feeling unprepared.
• 23:25
  Speaker 3: A recent report from the Red Cross found that while 83%
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: of Australians expected to be affected by emergency in the
• 23:31
  Speaker 3: next five years, 33% said they didn't feel confident that
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: they knew what to do when disaster strikes.
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: Did you say three days worth?
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: So what do we need? What are the essentials?
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: Wait, what... Three days' worth?
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, three days' worth. That's nothing.
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: I could hold a shit in for three days. That'd
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: be fine.
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, that's just a normal shop, right, at
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: the moment for us. The UK Prime Minister has told
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: the people of Britain to be ready and make sure
• 23:56
  Speaker 3: they've got stocked up on three days' worth of supplies.
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: Three days?
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: That doesn't seem right.
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: That's not enough, surely. Surely everyone's got enough to last
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: three days.
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: Bad weather and a cyber attack all in three days.
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: It sounds like a breeze.
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: Well, I think they're just trying to safely warn them.
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: They're trying to make more money.
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: So for three days, what are those essential items in
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: case we should be stocking up ourselves, Vic?
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: And then I have a question for you after.
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: The number one thing they said was water because if
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: the water supply gets cut off, that's a huge issue.
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: And actually the water supply did get cut off on
• 24:29
  Speaker 3: the northern beaches last week.
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: Oh, and it's beginning.
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: It's happening.
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: I was away.
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: LAUGHTER To stock up for a three-day emergency supply, you
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: need enough water, non-perishable food and basic survival gear.
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: To be self-sufficient. I need specifics here, Vic. Enough water.
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: What does that look like? Just that bottle for you.
• 24:47
  Speaker 3: At least three litres of water per person per day.
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: Nine litres total per person for three days. Plus extra
• 24:54
  Speaker 3: for basic hygiene.
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: Three days.
• 24:57
  Speaker 3: But basically you're preparing for if power... Water and shops disappear.
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: Laura has been reading these articles. She is very worked
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: up right now.
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: Can I ask you a question?
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: Please.
• 25:09
  Speaker 4: Apart from those three essential items, what are three essential
• 25:12
  Speaker 4: items that you would have to have if this happened?
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: A good book, a nice blanket.
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: I'd wish for a million items.
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: What would I want? I would want... Just give me one.
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: Beef jerky. Wow.
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: Good shout. Last ages.
• 25:28
  Speaker 4: You want beef jerky? Instant coffee because these things don't.
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: What have you got? Look at me like you're thinking.
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: What have you got?
• 25:34
  Speaker 3: No, I was like instant coffee.
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: I'd go lubricant over.
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: Okay. I'd go sex pillow.
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: Stockpile sex pillows.
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: All the sex toys. Quick, pack the sex toys.
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: But the other things were like torch matches, that sort
• 25:50
  Speaker 3: of thing.
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: Also very essential okay so you would say well laura's
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: like i'm gonna go to the shops and i don't
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: want to seem doubtful of my wife and what she's
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: capable of but there is no way that she's gonna
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: go to the shops and buy like 20 liters of
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: water for the family.
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: She's doomsday prepping she is.
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: Doomsday prepping she was like oh i better get to
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: the shops before everyone else starts trying to hold their
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: water as well and like cans of tuna all.
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: The doomsday preppers are now like see i've been actually
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: i've got three years worth of stuff come down to
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: my dungeon.
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: I know Laura's going to be like, we're going to
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: have to build a bunker in the backyard.
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: You've got one.
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I was going to say, do you have a bunker?
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: We do have.
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: It's a spa bath.
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: Everyone to Matt's.
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: It's a spa bath. Everyone in, quick. It's nice and warm.
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: We've got under house storage, guys. It's not a bunker.
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: It's very moldy.
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: Rex has a bunker.
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: Isn't that Nana's bedroom? It's getting in and out of
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: that door of your bunker is.
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: You knock your head. Guys, when you do come over,
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: just mind your head when you enter the bunker. But
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: I think it's just, it's a bit, they're just trying to,
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: it's the media. It's the media trying to whip everyone
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: up into a frenzy.
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: It's not the media.
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: What is it then?
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: I used to work in the media.
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: Like we don't.
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: You're part of the problem, Vic.
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: You are part of it.
• 26:57
  Speaker 3: I saw this and I was scared because I don't know, maybe,
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: I think it's the mother in me, to be honest.
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: But Dan and I recently watched a show called The
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: Undeclared War and it was about exactly this. It was
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: based in Britain. It was about a cyber war that
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: Russia and China were, like, declaring and they literally took
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: all of the UK offline and they had no idea
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: how to do it because there was double agents within
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: the UK Special Forces.
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: Was this a fictional show?
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: It was fictional.
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: Vic, I think you need to stop watching those kind
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: of TV shows late at night.
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: You know when, like, parents talk about what their kids
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: are watching? It's like, don't watch that.
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: We're going to message Dan and be like, make sure.
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: ABC Kids only.
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: No more cyber attacks, Jan. You know what she's like.
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: Bluey.
• 27:34
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: I think because of the news at the moment.
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: If it happens on Bluey, then I'll take it seriously.
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: Dire.
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: Like the world feels dire.
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: I think if it happens on Bluey and they do
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: an episode about it, I'll start taking it seriously.
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: I heard it the first time.
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: You're going to regret that.
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: No, I'm not.
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you are. That was mean.
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: But, yeah, start stockpiling just in case.
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: Noted. Thank you, Vic. I appreciate that.
• 27:56
  Speaker 4: Now I want to take this moment really, really quickly
• 27:58
  Speaker 4: to wish my beautiful wife, April, a happy 36th birthday.
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: She's 36.
• 28:04
  Speaker 4: 36.
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: Wow. And she's getting younger, man. I can't keep up.
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: She's like, we should go out and do things.
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: I'm like, ah! What are you going to do to celebrate?
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: I'm going away. Okay.
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: Oh my God, you always go away for your special things.
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: Like you were in China for your anniversary and now
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: you're in New Zealand for this.
• 28:22
  Speaker 4: No, I'm here for April's birthday, which is on the 6th.
• 28:24
  Speaker 4: So this will come out after, but I'm not here
• 28:27
  Speaker 4: for Macy's.
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: Will you buy her a present?
• 28:29
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but all the things that she had been hinting,
• 28:32
  Speaker 4: she went and got herself.
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: So I was like, great.
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: That's the hard thing. When you're in your 30s and
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: you want something, you just buy it for yourself.
• 28:39
  Speaker 4: I thought that this year I'm going to go with
• 28:41
  Speaker 4: thought over gift.
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: Yes. Like gift size or... Money expense. And look, take
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: a leaf out of my book if you want to.
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: I will.
• 28:49
  Speaker 4: Now, I thought every morning she gets up at 5
• 28:54
  Speaker 4: or 4.44.
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: Exactly.
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: Oh, my God.
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: That's early. Yeah.
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: I'm just going to bed. Or just getting to sleep.
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: I've been laying in bed for like eight hours. But
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: what she does is she preps everything in the morning.
• 29:07
  Speaker 4: To into our bathroom so when she wets up she
• 29:09
  Speaker 4: goes in she gets ready to go to the gym
• 29:11
  Speaker 4: she's got a protein shake and a banana before she
• 29:14
  Speaker 4: gets because you don't want to train on an empty
• 29:15
  Speaker 4: stomach she could faint but i thought what i might
• 29:17
  Speaker 4: do is i go down very good point go down
• 29:19
  Speaker 4: to bunnings go to the toolbox section and what they
• 29:22
  Speaker 4: have is like a tray it's an exposed tray with
• 29:25
  Speaker 4: a handle and she could put the things that she
• 29:28
  Speaker 4: needs in there each night to take a nice and easily,
• 29:32
  Speaker 4: pop it on the windowsill in the bathroom so it's
• 29:34
  Speaker 4: all in one place instead of her carrying it across
• 29:36
  Speaker 4: the house like this every night.
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: Thoughts?
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: I like it. I think it's a great gift.
• 29:41
  Speaker 4: Now, if I don't do that and this comes out, whoops.
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: Order it straight up.
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: I know. This is me reminding myself. Now I'm being
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: held accountable by me.
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: Doders, can you please message Ash as a reminder on the? Don't.
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: It'll be too late. I'll be away. Too bad.
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: I'll be in New Zealand.
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: My phone will be off.
• 30:04
  Speaker 4: But that's what I'm thinking. I thought it'd be something.
• 30:06
  Speaker 4: It's inexpensive. Maybe buy a couple of new gym towels.
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: I love that. I love that.
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: Make a little kit for her.
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: Beautiful. And to April, happy birthday.
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 30:15
  Speaker 4: 36.
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: A great year.
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: A fantastic year.
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: She's aging downwards.
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: Can I make a birthday present suggestion?
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: Unfortunately, we don't have time. Yeah, go.
• 30:24
  Speaker 3: I think for any busy mum, especially one like April,
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: staycation is such a nice gift but it is expensive.
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: She has been.
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: To Bali three times, I know.
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: She has been unemployed.
• 30:34
  Speaker 4: She's been retired for like a month and she has
• 30:36
  Speaker 4: been away four times.
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: Okay, fine.
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: More than me.
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: I'm just thinking about myself.
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 30:41
  Speaker 4: So Dan, if you're listening, you heard her.
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: You heard what she said.
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: I do remember one of the first gifts I gave
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: Laura in the early stages of a relationship when you
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: really are putting in a lot of effort Sometimes after
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: a couple of years, close to a decade, you start
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: to taper off just a little bit.
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: A decade's a good run. People do it a lot earlier.
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: Because the kids take a lot of your attention and energy.
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: But I remember I did a book of like the
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: first year of us dating. Oh, cute.
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: And it was like a.
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: Collage of photos and little messages.
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: Can you find it?
• 31:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: Can you bring it in?
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, of course I can.
• 31:16
  Speaker 3: That is so nice. I would love something like that
• 31:18
  Speaker 3: because I'm very sentimental.
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: But she's never looked at it since, so I'm like, oh.
• 31:22
  Speaker 3: Just pull it out one night and just be like,
• 31:24
  Speaker 3: look at us, us babies, and that'll get you in
• 31:27
  Speaker 3: the good books and then.
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: Who knows what'll happen.
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: She might hate it. Naked with an erection being like,
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: let's look at the book.
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: Have you seen this book? You're just going to be
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: worn on.
• 31:38
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: Why are you not wearing any pads? What is that
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: book resting on?
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: Look, no hands.
• 31:45
  Speaker 3: Well, I saw you've recently been posting like old videos
• 31:47
  Speaker 3: that you and Laura did like. Pre-kids.
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: That's from COVID, I think.
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, COVID lockdown videos. Flashback Fridays, we call it.
• 31:55
  Speaker 3: Does that bring back nice memories?
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: The one that I posted where we're in glow sticks.
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: How many fights happened during that round?
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: There was a couple of fights.
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: Every time I see it, I'm like, two fights.
• 32:05
  Speaker 4: Really?
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: Laura was about 34 weeks pregnant.
• 32:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, she was heavily pregnant.
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: Heavily pregnant. And I really want to do this video
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: where we.
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: Dress up in glow sticks.
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: Sticky tape glow sticks to ourselves, turn the lights off,
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: and we dance. So Laura's very pregnant, I think with Marley.
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: I think.
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: Really early.
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: Well, maybe it was Lola.
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: I think it might have been Lola.
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: Lola, yeah.
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: And so. The internet wasn't around pre-Mali.
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: And I remember Laura being like, I'm on the couch.
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: I'm really enjoying watching TV. Do we have to do it?
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: And I was like, came out with like 12 packets
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: of glow sticks being like, it'll be fun.
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: Please consider it my Christmas present.
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: So many good memories.
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: So many good memories. Speaking of good memories, I made
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: some on the weekend.
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: Go on.
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: So if anyone is not familiar with my life, My
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: second child, Lola, for the first like I want to
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: say almost like four years.
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: She hated you.
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: She did not like me at all.
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: It's just really come around. You've done a lot of
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: work though.
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: Sometimes it hurt to the point where I couldn't even
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: read her a story going to bed. Like she was like,
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: get the fuck out of my room and don't you
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: dare look at me.
• 33:08
  Speaker 4: It was a combination between you're not Laura.
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: And that's about it.
• 33:14
  Speaker 3: I like mummy and I also don't like mummy.
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: I could not even give her a kiss goodnight. I
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: couldn't like brush her teeth, couldn't put her in the bath,
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: out of the bath. She didn't want anything to do
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: with me and I was like, I think this just
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: may be my life. I may have a daughter that
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: doesn't like me, which is fine. I was accepting the fact.
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: And then slowly over time she's come around and been like,
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: I guess you're not too bad and we're in a
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: pretty good place right now.
• 33:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: And it's also... You forget how much your kids watch
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: you and see what you do.
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, until they do it.
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: Exactly, exactly. So on the weekend Poppy has her sleep
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: at like 9.30 for a couple of hours and then
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: that's a bit of quiet time at home where the
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: kids can do some colouring in or play some games.
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: Laura will do a little bit of exercise at home
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, I'm going to go for
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: a run. And then there's a voice behind me and
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: it said, can I come? And I was like. Buster?
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you need to walk me.
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: And Lola was like, I want to come running with you.
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: I did see this, your little story with her running.
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: How'd you go? Because April keeps saying to me, take
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: Oscar running. I'm like, I'm not running.
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: The slowest 10K I've ever done. It's all right. No,
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: I'm joking. I was like, yeah, we can run. I
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: was like, where do you want to run to? And
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: she goes, I want to run to school and back.
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: And so it's about two kilometres, a kilometre there, a
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: kilometre back.
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: It's a long way for the girl.
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: It's a long way. And I was like, look, we
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: can run a bit. When you get tired, we'll stop.
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: And for her, it was just like, this is fun.
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: She just kind of like put her shoes on, out
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: the door, bounding down the road. And it was a
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: really profound moment. For me.
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: How long did she last?
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: She's pretty good. She's pretty quick. I was like, holy fuck,
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: this kid's an athlete.
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: Did she go back and forth all the way?
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: Two k's? We had a couple of reps. A few
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: times she'd stop and like.
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: A good lean is underappreciated.
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: She did wear her swimmers, which was like, we ran
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: past a couple of cafes and people were like, what
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: the fuck are those kids?
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: She's got to be prepared for a swim.
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: Swimmers. She was like, where should we run next? We
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: run to the beach?
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: It's a run, swim, run.
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: It was like she just discovered running, the concept of running.
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: And for me, I love running. I know a lot
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: of people are like, fucking can't stand it.
• 35:14
  Speaker 3: And dolphins.
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: But for me, it's like that's my meditation. To clear
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: my head if I'm in a bad mood, running is
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: my go-to. So you totally underestimate as a parent having
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: your kid be interested in one of your preferred activities
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: and getting involved is one of the best parts of
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: parenting that you cannot force or premeditate or plan at all.
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: And when it happens, it is absolute magic.
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: Especially when it just happens.
• 35:39
  Speaker 3: It's beautiful.
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: Hang on a minute. You're like, you know, yeah.
• 35:41
  Speaker 3: It's like this is why we had kids.
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes.
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: It's like finally you're doing something. You're doing something for me.
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: It's amazing. It does feel good. Beautiful.
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: Trying to like, you know, allow your kids to grow
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: up and experience the world and then there was one
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: moment where she like overtook me and I was like
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: watching her run ahead and I was like, Stop at
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: the road.
• 36:03
  Speaker 3: Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: I know that feeling of like are they going to stop?
• 36:06
  Speaker 2: Are they going to stop? Are they going to stop?
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: And then they're just like last second. It was amazing.
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: That's so lovely. Both days, like the next day she
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: was like.
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: Oh, she did it again?
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: She was like, let's do it.
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: You could have a little runner on your hands.
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: I hope so.
• 36:17
  Speaker 3: Oh, I love that.
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: Running is good for you.
• 36:19
  Speaker 3: I think anything that's got movement with kids they'd love.
• 36:22
  Speaker 3: Like with Lily, I've started taking the scooter to kindy
• 36:25
  Speaker 3: and then she can scooter home, which was the whole
• 36:27
  Speaker 3: reason I chose that kindy was because it was walking distance.
• 36:30
  Speaker 3: I can't remember the last time we actually did it.
• 36:32
  Speaker 3: I did it with Louis all the time and then
• 36:33
  Speaker 3: second child misses out. So I've started doing it again
• 36:36
  Speaker 3: and there's no fights, there's no whinging, there's no tantrums,
• 36:40
  Speaker 3: there's just pure joy. And you're right, it's that moment
• 36:42
  Speaker 3: where you're like, fuck, parenting's awesome.
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: It's pure joy until they fall off.
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I was like Lola is a queen of
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: tripping over her feet and grazing her knee and being like,
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: I can't walk.
• 36:51
  Speaker 4: I'm not doing this ever again. It's like Macy with
• 36:53
  Speaker 4: the scooter. She loves it so much but she just
• 36:55
  Speaker 4: gets the death wobbles. She goes over the handlebars all
• 36:58
  Speaker 4: the time.
• 36:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 36:59
  Speaker 4: And then Oscar running trips over his feet when I'm like,
• 37:01
  Speaker 4: because he's so fast, I'm like, on the grass.
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: And he's like, why do you tell me to run
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: on the grass all the time?
• 37:06
  Speaker 4: I'm like, because if you fall, it's not going to
• 37:08
  Speaker 4: hurt so much because he does trip over his toes.
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: He's too fast. You get him one size too big
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: in the shoe and the guy's running up the street
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: and flipping.
• 37:16
  Speaker 3: Well, he is a cross-country champion.
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: He is. He'll tell you.
• 37:19
  Speaker 4: And then he'll check where you came in cross-country because
• 37:21
  Speaker 4: that's how he levels people. I think like for me
• 37:24
  Speaker 4: with Oscar training, just obsessed with footy so if ever
• 37:27
  Speaker 4: i need a like a footy chat he doesn't understand
• 37:29
  Speaker 4: half of it.
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: Because i said to him last night there.
• 37:33
  Speaker 4: Was a report that came out with uh brooksie being
• 37:35
  Speaker 4: released by manly given permission he was like if he
• 37:37
  Speaker 4: goes i'm gonna cry i'm like you have to understand
• 37:40
  Speaker 4: it's big business son he's like what the fuck is
• 37:42
  Speaker 4: that i was like never mind he runs fast i
• 37:45
  Speaker 4: get it just quickly before we move on to pick
• 37:50
  Speaker 4: or flick yeah we.
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: Haven't fleshed out the name entirely still working still.
• 37:53
  Speaker 4: Working through that yeah it's very nose picky macy loves
• 37:56
  Speaker 4: to pick and eat not pick.
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: And flick so there could be something there.
• 38:00
  Speaker 4: Anyway before that when i purchased this house that dan
• 38:05
  Speaker 4: has been helping me do some work because i'm a
• 38:07
  Speaker 4: very busy boy with all these holidays i went on
• 38:10
  Speaker 4: a bit of.
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: A diy spree remember.
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: I do recall.
• 38:13
  Speaker 3: At the start of the year.
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: And you're knocking down walls, you're putting in flooring.
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: It's starting to crumble down around me, guys.
• 38:18
  Speaker 3: Skirting.
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: I get a call from April. It was a video
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: call and she was like, something's happened. I was like, what?
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: The fucking shelf in the garage just gave way, the
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: one I put up. I'll show you a photo. I
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: have photo evidence this time, guys.
• 38:36
  Speaker 3: Persistence works.
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: I think. Hold on, that's a cupcake. That's not it.
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: Show us a cupcake.
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: Macy said i'm finished with this would you like.
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: It a crumb of a cupcake i'm going to show
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: you a picture you just tell me if you see
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: anything wrong with this slightly off kilter.
• 38:52
  Speaker 4: It's not quite level so what's happened is i'm not
• 38:55
  Speaker 4: actually taking responsibilities because the bracket itself broke probably because
• 39:00
  Speaker 4: i had too much.
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: On the shelf where'd you buy it from china.
• 39:03
  Speaker 4: No that was american made flimsy shit nah it's just
• 39:06
  Speaker 4: like a bunnings.
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: Rack that is a cheap looking shelf oops.
• 39:11
  Speaker 4: So i pay for what you get and the reason
• 39:13
  Speaker 4: i'm mentioning this is because i said to vic the
• 39:16
  Speaker 4: other day i was like oh when i get back
• 39:17
  Speaker 4: from this next trip we need to move some stuff
• 39:19
  Speaker 4: into the into the studio like a fridge because you
• 39:22
  Speaker 4: know fix the aircon for one and then a desk
• 39:23
  Speaker 4: for vic but i also need dan to help bring
• 39:25
  Speaker 4: it up here because i can't fit it in my car.
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: And then i thought i need dan back for another
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: day to fix.
• 39:30
  Speaker 4: My garage and every other DIY thing that I've done.
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: And I promised to never do DIY ever again.
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: You're lucky no one was hurt.
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: I know. I was like, did you reverse into it, babe?
• 39:40
  Speaker 2: She was like, how fucking dare you?
• 39:42
  Speaker 4: To be fair, April is one of the things that
• 39:44
  Speaker 4: really attracted me to her is her reverse parking.
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: And also the shelf is like seven foot high.
• 39:49
  Speaker 3: Why are guys so into that?
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: Reverse parking. You should see it.
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: It's hot.
• 39:52
  Speaker 3: I am a good reverse parker.
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: She's like hand on the seat and she looks over
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: at me and gives me a wink. It's hot. And
• 39:58
  Speaker 2: she's really muscly.
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: I think you're doing really great work at home.
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: I'm waiting for everything else to fall down. Actually, the
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: curtain fell down.
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: Did it really?
• 40:06
  Speaker 4: Because it's quite a long run and it has a
• 40:09
  Speaker 4: join in the middle, but that's where the bracket is too,
• 40:11
  Speaker 4: but it gave away from the gyprock.
• 40:14
  Speaker 2: So it's like we came home from the weekend. And
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: it was like.
• 40:17
  Speaker 3: Everything's falling down.
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 40:19
  Speaker 2: It was like nice, nice, nice, slump, nice, nice, nice.
• 40:23
  Speaker 2: And all the curtains have folded into the middle. I
• 40:25
  Speaker 2: fixed it though.
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: When's the house going to be finished?
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: Good question.
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: No pressure, Dan.
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: No pressure, Dan. But I'm also getting the kitchen done
• 40:32
  Speaker 2: by a mate who.
• 40:33
  Speaker 3: Big mistake, Actually, Dan told me about him because they've
• 40:36
  Speaker 3: been having chats while they've been in the house together
• 40:38
  Speaker 3: and he was actually defending me because he's like, isn't
• 40:41
  Speaker 3: it so funny how Ash keeps having a go at
• 40:43
  Speaker 3: Vic about taking holidays when he takes so many more holidays?
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, yes!
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: Oh, you need the win wherever you can get them.
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: Your trainees are turning against you.
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: That's why things are falling down.
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: And no talking in the house when you're working. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 40:55
  Speaker 4: When Dan comes over, I'll be like, fucking heard what
• 40:57
  Speaker 4: you said about me. You better take some money off
• 41:00
  Speaker 4: that rate. Better discount that.
• 41:02
  Speaker 3: No, it wasn't Dan. It was the kitchen guy.
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: He's fired. And then also they're doing the strata workout.
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: It's a fucking war zone at my house.
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: You know what's going to make you feel better?
• 41:11
  Speaker 2: Pick or flick.
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: Pick or flick. Ash, you want to go first?
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I will just. My first one is a pick.
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: We shall start with that.
• 41:20
  Speaker 4: And it's a TikTok I stumbled across of a dad
• 41:23
  Speaker 4: educating his kids about yoga not having to go to
• 41:27
  Speaker 4: mum for everything.
• 41:28
  Speaker 2: Oh, I love that.
• 41:29
  Speaker 4: Which I think, for the mental load, is great. But
• 41:31
  Speaker 4: he's also created a slideshow that you can put on
• 41:34
  Speaker 4: your TV to show your kids as a visual.
• 41:36
  Speaker 2: And I want to show you. You can ask dad too.
• 41:40
  Speaker 2: I also live in this house. Let's go through it.
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: He works in sales for sure.
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: I have hands.
• 41:47
  Speaker 4: I am able to open snack bags, open yogurt lids,
• 41:51
  Speaker 4: and I can open tight caps.
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: He's definitely Canadian. You can ask me. Okay, so it's
• 42:00
  Speaker 2: quite a long video.
• 42:04
  Speaker 3: Open.
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: He doesn't know.
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: He doesn't know.
• 42:10
  Speaker 4: But I thought if you go, he's got a link
• 42:12
  Speaker 4: in his bio called Ask Dad. And it's $ 4. 70 to
• 42:16
  Speaker 4: buy the slideshow to educate your kids that you don't have.
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: To just go straight.
• 42:20
  Speaker 4: $ 4. 70?
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: Fuck, that's a bit rich.
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: Anyway, but that's my pick. I think that's pretty good.
• 42:24
  Speaker 2: Very good. And then my flick, bread in the freezer.
• 42:28
  Speaker 3: Oh, it's a flick.
• 42:29
  Speaker 2: It's a flick.
• 42:30
  Speaker 3: I thought that used to be your pick.
• 42:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: I was a big bread in the freezer guy.
• 42:33
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but I'm finding if you put it in and
• 42:36
  Speaker 4: then you accidentally put something else in, it misshapes, it
• 42:38
  Speaker 4: doesn't fit in the fucking toaster, then.
• 42:39
  Speaker 3: I've got to– You've got to be very careful how
• 42:41
  Speaker 3: you freeze it.
• 42:42
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I'd probably use the error, but I'm against it
• 42:44
  Speaker 4: now because also we have bread and it's half loaf
• 42:48
  Speaker 4: left and then a new loaf comes into the house
• 42:50
  Speaker 4: and April's.
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: Like, oh, let's chuck it in the freezer and chuck
• 42:52
  Speaker 2: the freezer one out.
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: It's like, well, I'm triple handling.
• 42:55
  Speaker 2: I'm triple handling everything.
• 42:57
  Speaker 3: Also, you know, you guys had a go at Dan
• 42:58
  Speaker 3: the other week because he likes fresh bread, but everyone
• 43:01
  Speaker 3: loves fresh bread.
• 43:01
  Speaker 2: Fresh bread is definitely, it's a Kiwi thing to have
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: fresh bread every day and fresh butter.
• 43:06
  Speaker 3: We don't have fresh butter every day.
• 43:07
  Speaker 2: You've got a cow back there.
• 43:08
  Speaker 3: In our apartment.
• 43:10
  Speaker 2: You're just churning the butter.
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: Where's Daisy?
• 43:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so, yeah, bread in the freezer, not into it.
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: Sure, sure, sure.
• 43:19
  Speaker 2: I'm sick of the misshaped toast.
• 43:21
  Speaker 4: Like if it's got a curve in it, the crust burn,
• 43:24
  Speaker 4: then that's still just not for me.
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I get it. I get it. My pick. I'm
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: not sure if you guys remember this shopping outlet. Do
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: you remember Suzanne's? Yeah. This goes with that at Suzanne's.
• 43:38
  Speaker 2: Yes, my nan. Suzanne's and Miller's. Miller's. My nan. Everything
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: she owns is from Miller's.
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: My mum has not bought anything at all clothes-wise for years.
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: For years. And like every now and then we like,
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: we went to Cirque du Soleil and my mum was
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: having an anxiety attack.
• 43:54
  Speaker 2: Cause she's like, what do I wear?
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: And I was like, show me what options you got.
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: And she has like one rag.
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: And I was like, she has a Suzanne rack.
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: Like she has nothing. She has not bought herself anything
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: for someone. Cause she's like, I just don't know how.
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: Nothing fits me. I'm such a frumpy little shape.
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, you're beautiful Ellie.
• 44:12
  Speaker 3: Oh my God, she is beautiful.
• 44:13
  Speaker 2: She looks great.
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: She just, she doesn't know how to like shop for herself.
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: Has she discovered online shopping? Yeah.
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: So then I went to Laura and I was like,
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: I need help. Let's surprise mom and buy some things.
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: I kind of was like, I was like, what about this?
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: And it was like, I picked a couple of things
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: that Laura was like, you just sit there. Just shut up.
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: Stop interrupting me.
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: We're trying to get your mom laid.
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: So Laura bought a selection of items from Suzanne's and
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: we surprised her when it came in the mail and
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: she came out and did a little fashion show.
• 44:42
  Speaker 3: Oh.
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: And she was like, what about this blue top? And
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: we're like, yeah. And she was like, could I wear
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: the pants with this? And we're like, try it on.
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: And she came out and she was just buzzing.
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: She just wears them to bed now.
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: And then we had grandparents day and she's like, I'm
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: going to wear the new clothes grandparents day.
• 44:56
  Speaker 2: Amazing.
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: To Suzanne, well done.
• 44:58
  Speaker 2: So the stick is Suzanne's.
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: I didn't think they were still around.
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: Must be the last one. It's like, we got an order.
• 45:07
  Speaker 2: What do we do? No one taught us how to
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: use the system. It's just a bunch of old ladies
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: who don't know how to use it.
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: It's all free. So if you're a grandma and you
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: want some great options.
• 45:19
  Speaker 2: Susan's.
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: Suzanne. Susan's.
• 45:21
  Speaker 2: Old Miller's, not sponsored.
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: And my flick, and I will preface this and say
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: that Those who work in the police force do an
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: amazing job. Oh, God. Majority of the time. Okay. At
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: our school there is quite often a parking inspector.
• 45:38
  Speaker 3: Oh, yes.
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: Because the parking is so limited.
• 45:40
  Speaker 2: Oh, we've had this. We had this with the preschool
• 45:43
  Speaker 2: a couple of years back. So let's bring it back.
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 45:45
  Speaker 3: This isn't police though.
• 45:47
  Speaker 2: So this morning, this morning.
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh, look at that, Lola. I was like,
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: there's a police car, highway patrol, lights on. Guess what
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: they were doing? They were going around checking every single
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: car to see if they had paid and giving out tickets.
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: And I was thinking to myself- Paid what?
• 46:06
  Speaker 2: Huh?
• 46:06
  Speaker 3: Paid what?
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: Making sure, so at our school, there is only paid parking.
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: You cannot leave the car. And sometimes like when I
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: drop Lola off, she'll be like, actually, can you please
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: just drop me in? And then you're like, don't break
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: the rules, just pay for it and you're fine. But
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: I was like, some parents like kind of run in,
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: run out. Surely we don't need the fucking police force
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: to be wasting their time and energy giving tickets to
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: parents who are dropping the kids off at school. Fuck.
• 46:32
  Speaker 4: Wholeheartedly agree. I could not agree with you more. There's
• 46:36
  Speaker 4: one less thing a parent needs at fucking eight o'clock
• 46:39
  Speaker 4: in the morning.
• 46:40
  Speaker 2: And that's some guy in.
• 46:41
  Speaker 4: A uniform giving you a fine for making sure that
• 46:44
  Speaker 4: your child enters the school safely.
• 46:47
  Speaker 3: Which is required by law.
• 46:49
  Speaker 2: Which is required by law, genius.
• 46:51
  Speaker 4: And then also every one of us here and in
• 46:54
  Speaker 4: this building, unless you're in gas and mining, are paying
• 46:57
  Speaker 4: tax for you to do a parking inspector's job.
• 47:01
  Speaker 2: Do you need something to do? Because I'll give you
• 47:03
  Speaker 2: something to do.
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: And also, overall, the police force do an incredible job.
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: But I just think if you're that person who was
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: going around outside the school checking cars, at least do
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: it with a smile on your face. Because I had
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: to drop Lola inside. So I went to put money
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: in my car. And so I said to him, hey,
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: the Kia is my car. I'm just putting money in it.
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: And he looked at me like I spat on him.
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: He was like, yeah, it's fine. And I was like.
• 47:26
  Speaker 3: Probably because every parent has come up to me like,
• 47:28
  Speaker 3: what the fuck are you doing?
• 47:29
  Speaker 4: And if I'm that guy's, because he's been obviously stationed
• 47:32
  Speaker 4: there by someone else who doesn't have to deal with
• 47:35
  Speaker 4: the grunt.
• 47:36
  Speaker 2: That's the thing.
• 47:36
  Speaker 4: It'd be like, it's so easy. It's so easy for
• 47:38
  Speaker 4: someone behind a desk to be like, this is what
• 47:40
  Speaker 4: you're doing today. And then what am I, what's he
• 47:43
  Speaker 4: supposed to say?
• 47:43
  Speaker 2: No. But at the same time, it just read the
• 47:46
  Speaker 2: room a little bit.
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: Read the room.
• 47:47
  Speaker 2: Like when I see.
• 47:48
  Speaker 3: That is disappointing.
• 47:49
  Speaker 2: I know there's, I remember when.
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: Do better.
• 47:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I remember when I was a kid, right?
• 47:55
  Speaker 4: And my dad, we were driving to the RSL to have,
• 47:57
  Speaker 4: every Tuesday we would drive to the RSL to have
• 48:00
  Speaker 4: dinner with my grandmother and my grandfather. And there's a
• 48:02
  Speaker 4: road on the way there that is, you can't, it's
• 48:06
  Speaker 4: a shortcut, but it says you can't turn down there
• 48:08
  Speaker 4: unless you're a bus. I'm talking back streets where no
• 48:11
  Speaker 4: one is. Pull in there and a cop comes out
• 48:13
  Speaker 4: of nowhere to pull dad over. And dad was like,
• 48:16
  Speaker 4: how long have you sat there waiting for one person
• 48:18
  Speaker 4: to come? What else are you fucking doing?
• 48:21
  Speaker 2: Like, seriously.
• 48:23
  Speaker 4: Like I say to Oscar at home, if you can't
• 48:25
  Speaker 4: find something to do, I'll find you something to do.
• 48:27
  Speaker 4: These cops need something to do. I'll start committing crimes.
• 48:29
  Speaker 4: I want to get my fucking tax dollars worth.
• 48:32
  Speaker 2: Anyway, moving on.
• 48:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that is really disappointing actually.
• 48:35
  Speaker 2: It is disappointing.
• 48:36
  Speaker 4: I know.
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: I was like, do I say something in like the parents' chat?
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: And I was like, no, I'm not. I'll just whinge
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: about it on the podcast. Anyway, good.
• 48:41
  Speaker 2: I would put it in the chat and be like,
• 48:43
  Speaker 2: what do we think about this? And you could make
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: a real change, Matt.
• 48:47
  Speaker 4: By having a school drop off where you can park
• 48:49
  Speaker 4: for a few minutes and Without having to pay. You
• 48:51
  Speaker 4: having to pay to take your child into school is
• 48:53
  Speaker 4: a fucking joke.
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 48:55
  Speaker 3: Is there a pick-up and drop-off zone?
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but you're not allowed to leave the car. Yeah.
• 48:59
  Speaker 1: So it's just tough. Normally I'm on the bike so
• 49:02
  Speaker 1: it doesn't bother me too much, but it's because it
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: was raining today, so I had to be in the car.
• 49:05
  Speaker 4: But also if it's hard for parents, say, year one
• 49:09
  Speaker 4: and kindy, their kids are still, they have days where
• 49:12
  Speaker 4: it's like, I need you to come in because they
• 49:13
  Speaker 4: might be feeling, what are we teaching them by saying,
• 49:16
  Speaker 4: get out?
• 49:17
  Speaker 3: Also, if they're crying and then you're like.
• 49:19
  Speaker 4: Oh, like.
• 49:19
  Speaker 3: it's okay, but like I just got to go to
• 49:21
  Speaker 3: the parking meter.
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: You got to walk like 15 meters to the, depending
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: on where you get a park. You got to walk
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: to the machine, then put in like, and then.
• 49:27
  Speaker 2: I would tell them to write your ticket. Go write
• 49:29
  Speaker 2: your ticket. It's easier than going to pay for one
• 49:31
  Speaker 2: and then drop my kid off.
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: No, because in Bondi, parking fines, like you got to,
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: give 500 bucks it's just not fair uh vick you're
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: picking stick pick and flick pick and flick whatever it
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: is whatever.
• 49:41
  Speaker 3: Uh mine has a show and tell element but my
• 49:44
  Speaker 3: roman empire at the moment is lunch boxes because louis
• 49:47
  Speaker 3: either loses them or he leaves them at school or
• 49:49
  Speaker 3: he doesn't eat anything in the lunch box except for
• 49:52
  Speaker 3: like the one sugary thing that i might put in there.
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: Laura did Homemade quiches. They have come home every day
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: this week. Laura's like breaks a little heart.
• 50:00
  Speaker 2: What do they taste like?
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: It is awful.
• 50:02
  Speaker 3: Oh, so did they even have like a nibble? No.
• 50:05
  Speaker 3: Because that's so frustrating.
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: Like didn't get touched. And they are so tasty. And
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: it's like the good ham as well.
• 50:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 50:13
  Speaker 2: Oh, not the good ham.
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: Okay, sorry.
• 50:18
  Speaker 2: I saw a lunchbox in your bag and I thought,
• 50:19
  Speaker 2: what is that, Chris?
• 50:19
  Speaker 3: I've actually even asked you, Matt, about lunchboxes before because
• 50:23
  Speaker 3: I am just at my wits' end.
• 50:25
  Speaker 2: You didn't want to ask me? What's that about?
• 50:26
  Speaker 3: Because I liked the one that Matt brought in.
• 50:28
  Speaker 2: Oh, okay.
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: And he got 10 out of 10.
• 50:29
  Speaker 3: Sorry, 9 out of 10.
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: You don't get it.
• 50:31
  Speaker 3: So this is, it's Eco Cocoon. It has a weird lid.
• 50:35
  Speaker 3: This really threw me. So don't be disgruntled.
• 50:37
  Speaker 2: It's very prison-like.
• 50:38
  Speaker 3: But that is the, how nice is that?
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's beautiful.
• 50:41
  Speaker 2: That is nice.
• 50:41
  Speaker 3: And this has like a little container.
• 50:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 50:43
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 50:44
  Speaker 3: Which Louis loves.
• 50:45
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 50:45
  Speaker 3: And then now all we do.
• 50:46
  Speaker 4: Is put more.
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: Those containers are getting lost quickly, aren't they?
• 50:50
  Speaker 2: It's giving prison.
• 50:51
  Speaker 3: But this is now morning tea and lunch.
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: What's the RRP on that? Recommended retail price for those
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: playing at home?
• 50:57
  Speaker 3: Dan did this, so I made him have it on
• 51:00
  Speaker 3: his mental load list because I couldn't do it. It's $ 100,
• 51:04
  Speaker 3: so it's not. What the shit? Yeah, it's not cheap.
• 51:07
  Speaker 2: That, to be fair, that would go nicely in the bunker. True.
• 51:11
  Speaker 3: True. But it's designed, it's airtight, so you can make
• 51:16
  Speaker 3: it the night before, put it in the fridge.
• 51:18
  Speaker 2: What's for lunch today? A bit of grub?
• 51:20
  Speaker 3: It stays fresh.
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: My only gripe, it's pretty heavy.
• 51:24
  Speaker 2: It is.
• 51:24
  Speaker 3: Poor Louis is like, why is my bag so heavy
• 51:26
  Speaker 3: every day?
• 51:27
  Speaker 2: Mom! Dragging it down the school park.
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: When he's dirty, they're like, you have the spine of
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: a 90-year-old.
• 51:33
  Speaker 3: What happened?
• 51:33
  Speaker 2: What's with all the scoliosis? I will say it's very.
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: The organisation is great.
• 51:41
  Speaker 2: It's very well made. Like Dan's going to use that
• 51:43
  Speaker 2: for a toolbox one day.
• 51:45
  Speaker 1: When doomsday does come, all that's going to be left
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: is cockroaches and these.
• 51:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we can all get in this.
• 51:51
  Speaker 3: But the one he had before was like a hand-me-down
• 51:53
  Speaker 3: from our neighbour, so he's never had a nice lunchbox.
• 51:55
  Speaker 3: So we're like, come on, let's just invest in a
• 51:56
  Speaker 3: nice one. Like cost per use, $ 100 is nothing.
• 52:00
  Speaker 4: It's like once in a lifetime lunchbox.
• 52:02
  Speaker 2: He's really hit the roof with nice things straight up.
• 52:05
  Speaker 3: It is heavy though.
• 52:05
  Speaker 2: I love it.
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: It is nice. And what's your flick?
• 52:07
  Speaker 3: My flick is drinkable vitamin C. So we've all been
• 52:11
  Speaker 3: sick at the moment.
• 52:12
  Speaker 2: Not like a Barocca?
• 52:14
  Speaker 3: No. We tried those as well. Kids do not like them.
• 52:17
  Speaker 2: What about the berry one?
• 52:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we tried the berry one. Anything that's like edible.
• 52:21
  Speaker 3: They don't like the effervescent. I'm like, come on, guys.
• 52:24
  Speaker 3: It's like fizzy drink.
• 52:25
  Speaker 2: What the fuck is effervescent?
• 52:26
  Speaker 1: The fizz.
• 52:27
  Speaker 4: The fizz.
• 52:27
  Speaker 2: I thought it just sounded like La Favela. Effervescent.
• 52:31
  Speaker 3: Here's a new word for you. There you go.
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: I'll take it.
• 52:33
  Speaker 3: But I would say if you want to get your
• 52:35
  Speaker 3: kids to have vitamin C, the chewable little tablets. We
• 52:39
  Speaker 3: have them every day now and they love them.
• 52:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, my kids have got vitamin gummies coming out of
• 52:42
  Speaker 2: the wazoo.
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: My nana is like, quickly, eat the vitamin C. And
• 52:46
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't believe in that shit. No, Vic,
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: just put a hole in the studio.
• 52:49
  Speaker 4: What happened to good old-fashioned oranges?
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: Okay?
• 52:52
  Speaker 3: That's what Dan says. He's like, you could just eat
• 52:55
  Speaker 3: an orange.
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: Facts.
• 52:57
  Speaker 2: Facts, Daniel.
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: Very good.
• 52:58
  Speaker 2: Smart man.
• 52:59
  Speaker 1: Very good.
• 53:00
  Speaker 2: Matt, it's time for a new segment.
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: A new segment, Ash?
• 53:02
  Speaker 2: Yes, we don't have a jingle for this one. I
• 53:04
  Speaker 2: think it's a one-off. Okay.
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: We don't need a jingle for every time we do
• 53:08
  Speaker 1: a new segment.
• 53:09
  Speaker 4: Thanks to National Parsons, we're looking for 15-minute parenting hacks
• 53:13
  Speaker 4: to save you, you guessed it.
• 53:14
  Speaker 2: 15 minutes.
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: Genius. Genius. That's why you get paid the big bucks.
• 53:21
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: The thing I love, Ash, about national pies, they are
• 53:25
  Speaker 1: baked in Tassie, they are delivered fresh, and they cook
• 53:29
  Speaker 1: in how long? How long?
• 53:30
  Speaker 2: Wait, wait.
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: Don't rush into it.
• 53:32
  Speaker 2: Maybe 15 minutes. Very good. Yay. Very good.
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: That's a fast snack.
• 53:36
  Speaker 2: Thank you. That is a fast meal, Matthew.
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: We did have someone in the Facebook group reach out.
• 53:42
  Speaker 1: It was from Tasmania being like, thank you. It's like,
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: it's the state brand.
• 53:47
  Speaker 2: It's like, well, their mascot. It's just a meat pie,
• 53:50
  Speaker 2: a national pie.
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: What everyone eats in Tassie is just national pies.
• 53:54
  Speaker 4: We asked our doters through Facebook, which is thriving, for
• 53:58
  Speaker 4: their 15-minute hacks, and Matt and I have picked four.
• 54:01
  Speaker 2: To read you today. And then we're going to pick
• 54:03
  Speaker 2: a winner. Who's going to win what, Matt?
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: A year's supply of national pies.
• 54:08
  Speaker 4: That's 365 pies delivered in three different deliveries.
• 54:13
  Speaker 2: You've got some eating to do.
• 54:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 54:16
  Speaker 4: But I suppose if you have a family dinner and
• 54:18
  Speaker 4: there's a family of four, that's four pies and it's
• 54:20
  Speaker 4: free dinner.
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: How many meals would that be for a family of four?
• 54:26
  Speaker 3: Three.
• 54:28
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: Okay. You want to go first or you go?
• 54:30
  Speaker 2: I'll go first. And this first one is from Ebony.
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 54:34
  Speaker 4: I double mattress protect and sheet the bed. Not sheet
• 54:38
  Speaker 4: the bed.
• 54:38
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 54:41
  Speaker 2: Sheet the bed. So in the middle of the night,
• 54:43
  Speaker 2: I just rip one off. Sorry, sorry. I double mattress
• 54:47
  Speaker 2: protect and sheet the beds.
• 54:50
  Speaker 4: So in the middle of the night, it's just rip
• 54:52
  Speaker 4: one off and back into it you get.
• 54:54
  Speaker 2: Nobody has time to be awake longer than necessary.
• 54:58
  Speaker 1: Oh, so it goes protective layer, sheet, protective layer, sheet.
• 55:02
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so it's just like, I present to you another
• 55:05
  Speaker 4: mate bed.
• 55:07
  Speaker 2: Get back in it.
• 55:08
  Speaker 1: That is, because it's all about efficiency. The longer they're awake,
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: the harder it is to get them back to sleep.
• 55:13
  Speaker 2: And then she goes, what she does is she puts
• 55:15
  Speaker 2: them back into bed and straight to a meat pie.
• 55:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and then national pies. This is from Adam. Hello, Adam.
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: I fold all the clothes into outfits, T-shirts, pants, socks,
• 55:26
  Speaker 1: et cetera. That way getting ready in the morning just
• 55:29
  Speaker 1: means pulling one thing out rather than going through all
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: of the drawers.
• 55:33
  Speaker 2: Wait, hang on. Hang on. Go.
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: Question yes.
• 55:36
  Speaker 2: I have a question.
• 55:37
  Speaker 4: Adam, I'm guessing this is how it goes. You put
• 55:40
  Speaker 4: a whole outfit together for your child. Yes.
• 55:43
  Speaker 2: Fold it or an adult.
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 55:45
  Speaker 2: And then it's like, wake up in the morning, kids
• 55:47
  Speaker 2: get dressed, there it is.
• 55:49
  Speaker 4: So we're talking it's all in one, like it's just bang, bang, bang,
• 55:52
  Speaker 4: not separate drawers for separate things.
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: You are spoon feeding, not national pies, clothes. Also, what
• 55:58
  Speaker 1: annoys me about my kids, I love them, preface that,
• 56:02
  Speaker 1: but whenever they are picking their outfits, they just go
• 56:05
  Speaker 1: through everything and following those little T-shirts and little shorts.
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: It's a lot.
• 56:09
  Speaker 4: So if they're all just you've got seven days' worth
• 56:12
  Speaker 4: of outfits, it's easier for school uniform.
• 56:14
  Speaker 2: It's actually great for school uniform. I think that's a
• 56:16
  Speaker 2: good hack. That's up there.
• 56:18
  Speaker 1: Very good.
• 56:18
  Speaker 2: I'll go next one.
• 56:19
  Speaker 3: Adam?
• 56:20
  Speaker 2: He must love a pie.
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: This is a close race right now.
• 56:23
  Speaker 2: He must love a national pie. That's for sure.
• 56:24
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 56:26
  Speaker 2: The distraction tub. Oh, sounds raunchy.
• 56:31
  Speaker 4: When I'm doing a general tidy up around the house,
• 56:34
  Speaker 4: I have a basket for each kid.
• 56:35
  Speaker 2: Genius.
• 56:36
  Speaker 4: Anything that belongs to them gets thrown in the tub.
• 56:39
  Speaker 4: Toys scattered across the living room, random clothes.
• 56:41
  Speaker 1: Dog.
• 56:42
  Speaker 2: Dog, maybe.
• 56:43
  Speaker 4: Animals.
• 56:44
  Speaker 2: Books. You name it.
• 56:46
  Speaker 4: Then their tubs get dropped in their bedrooms for them
• 56:49
  Speaker 4: to unpack. Okay, so there's two hacks in this and
• 56:53
  Speaker 4: I'm saying there's more than 15 minutes because they start
• 56:56
  Speaker 4: to unpack it themselves. I call it the distraction tub
• 57:00
  Speaker 4: because if I start taking individual items into different rooms,
• 57:04
  Speaker 4: I'll end up getting distracted by another mess.
• 57:07
  Speaker 2: Facts.
• 57:07
  Speaker 4: Start tidying that, forget what I was doing in the
• 57:10
  Speaker 4: first place and somehow end up with the entire house
• 57:14
  Speaker 4: pulled apart.
• 57:14
  Speaker 2: Less distractions, more productivity is the idea.
• 57:18
  Speaker 1: There is a double handle in here, which I have
• 57:20
  Speaker 1: an issue with because I reckon in my household if
• 57:22
  Speaker 1: we implemented that rule, the tubs would just get full
• 57:26
  Speaker 1: and then put to the side.
• 57:27
  Speaker 4: And the tubs would turn into, look, I do love
• 57:30
  Speaker 4: the premise of the idea, but you have to monitor
• 57:32
  Speaker 4: that situation.
• 57:33
  Speaker 2: Yes. Because my kids don't know where any of their
• 57:35
  Speaker 2: things go. They know where the snacks are.
• 57:38
  Speaker 1: The project management required to oversee this is a lot.
• 57:42
  Speaker 4: Mine would like end up with something else in it.
• 57:45
  Speaker 4: It would just be like a tub full of my laundry.
• 57:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 57:48
  Speaker 2: I would put my floor drobe in there. She's like,
• 57:50
  Speaker 2: that's it from now on.
• 57:52
  Speaker 1: This is from Maddie. Great name.
• 57:54
  Speaker 2: Easy. M-A-D-D-I-E.
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: So she's female, we think.
• 57:58
  Speaker 2: Good shout.
• 57:59
  Speaker 1: This is Jobsticks, a jar full of jumbo paddle pop
• 58:02
  Speaker 1: sticks with one job written on each stick. Each child
• 58:05
  Speaker 1: picks three a day. Not everything lands on me to
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: do saves me time doing all the housework. They learn
• 58:11
  Speaker 1: accountability and responsibility individually sharing the mental load, et cetera,
• 58:15
  Speaker 1: et cetera. Leaves me more time to read my book
• 58:18
  Speaker 1: and paint.
• 58:19
  Speaker 2: Or bake a national pie.
• 58:21
  Speaker 1: There he is.
• 58:22
  Speaker 2: Boom.
• 58:23
  Speaker 1: Can I just say, like, very cultured, you know, more
• 58:26
  Speaker 1: time to read a book and paint. Normally for me
• 58:28
  Speaker 1: it's just like more time.
• 58:29
  Speaker 2: Doomscroll and take a shit.
• 58:31
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 58:32
  Speaker 2: More time. I know.
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: But good on you, Matty.
• 58:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's good.
• 58:35
  Speaker 1: There's a photo here.
• 58:36
  Speaker 2: Oh, there's a photo. You know I like pictures. Oh,
• 58:39
  Speaker 2: that's cool.
• 58:40
  Speaker 1: Read me a job.
• 58:40
  Speaker 2: Okay, I'll read you a job. Okay, I'm going to
• 58:42
  Speaker 2: pick three jobs for you today.
• 58:44
  Speaker 3: Go.
• 58:44
  Speaker 4: Okay, I want you to water the indoor plants, mine
• 58:47
  Speaker 4: are plastic, dust the TV cabinet, and then because you're
• 58:50
  Speaker 4: such a good boy, you've got free choice.
• 58:52
  Speaker 2: Oh. That sounds all right. That's very good. These are
• 58:56
  Speaker 2: good parents.
• 58:57
  Speaker 1: That's very classroom-esque.
• 58:58
  Speaker 4: Do you remember when they used to have on the
• 59:00
  Speaker 4: paddle pops, they used to have the pictures and you'd
• 59:02
  Speaker 4: line the pictures up and get the prize?
• 59:04
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 59:05
  Speaker 2: That's similar.
• 59:05
  Speaker 1: Very similar.
• 59:06
  Speaker 2: Now, the next step is to put them into and
• 59:08
  Speaker 2: freeze them into ice cream. That's actually very smart. I'm
• 59:13
  Speaker 2: fucking full of them today. Very good.
• 59:14
  Speaker 1: What have you taken?
• 59:15
  Speaker 2: National pies, actually. I had a national pie for breakfast.
• 59:21
  Speaker 2: We need to pick a winner, Matt.
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 59:23
  Speaker 2: One winner will get a year's supply of national pies.
• 59:27
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. Oh, gosh, I just can't decide who's going
• 59:30
  Speaker 1: to win.
• 59:31
  Speaker 4: Well, maybe we should let the public decide. Comment who
• 59:33
  Speaker 4: you think should be the winner of a year's worth
• 59:36
  Speaker 4: of pies.
• 59:36
  Speaker 1: Let us know now. National Pies.
• 59:39
  Speaker 2: Proudly Tassie.
• 59:40
  Speaker 1: Proudly different. Guys, guys, I need to go pick up
• 59:43
  Speaker 1: the kids from dance. We need to get out of here.
• 59:46
  Speaker 2: Dance. Just quickly before you do go.
• 59:48
  Speaker 1: Please. Dance.
• 59:48
  Speaker 2: Macy has moved on from ballet to jazz and hip hop. Yeah, girl.
• 59:53
  Speaker 2: And I'll get some intel for you this week. for
• 59:56
  Speaker 2: when I return in three weeks.
• 59:57
  Speaker 1: I can't wait. If you've enjoyed this episode, you know
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 1: what to do. You know the drill. You're going to
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 1: leave it there?
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 2: Really?
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 1: You know what to do. I'm not going to ask you.
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 1: And if you haven't done it yet, how dare you?
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 2: What he's talking about is go subscribe.
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 1: Give us a review.
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 2: There you go. He couldn't help himself.
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 4: Give us a review, subscribe, leave a comment on Spotify
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 4: or join us on social media.
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 2: Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, which is It's thriving, I will say.
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 2: I never say that, but I've never said that before.
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 1: Buy a calendar. Buy a calendar unless you're in America
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 1: because I've just turned off shipping to the US because, jeez,
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 1: the tariffs.
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 4: Look, if we try to post one of those, they'll
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 4: be like, that's like the Chinese guy.
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 2: And they'll be like, he's not allowed in here. Burn it.
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: Burn it. Who knew the tariffs would impact us? A
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 1: podcast in Australia.
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 4: I always thought we are immune to tariffs.
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 1: Apologies to our US listeners, the doters. They will have
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 1: to go without calendars from this point on.
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 2: Unless... You can all get together, form a group, and
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 2: buy in bulk, and then it'll be worth it.
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 1: You cannot buy in bulk, Ash. I'm telling you, it's
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 1: too much money. It doesn't make any difference. In bulk
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 1: is just more shipping. Is it? The tariffs, yes.
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 2: We're over on the tariffs.
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 1: Who knew? I mentioned tariffs. Ash is like, buy in bulk.
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 2: Trump came in when?
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 3: 2020?
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 2: Too many times.
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 1: Let's get out of here.
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 1: Okay, bye.
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 2: And another thing.
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 1: Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 1: throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community.
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 4: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 4: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 4: Islander peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gadigal land.