Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 4 - Episode 230 -Allowing yourself to process your emotions

Transcript

Season 4 - Episode 230 -Allowing yourself to process your emotions · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

• 0:01
  Hey everybody, welcome to the good morning from the Chicken
• 0:04
  Coop podcast. My name is Kim Johnson and I am
• 0:07
  a mastermindset, coach, creative strategist, and also happened to
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  be a farmer. This is my chicken coop and I
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  come out here every day to record a podcast to teach
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  distinctions, possibilities, new ways of thinking, and just bring
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  some joy. Into the.
• 0:21
  World. So welcome to the coop and let's
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  start your day off in a fantastic way.
• 0:27
  Hey everybody, good afternoon from the chicken coop.
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  I'm recording this in the afternoon because I had to drive
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  Lucas in the morning to his apprenticeship and we have to
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  leave here at the butt crack of dawn to beat the traffic because
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  there's road construction now. So I'm just being very
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  thoughtful and getting it done very early and I'm almost 100%
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  back to myself. I just have a little bit of the
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  coughing happening now, but I'm almost back, so that's really
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  good. All right, today we are talking
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  about allowing yourself to process emotions and not be mad
• 1:01
  at yourself for it. This conversation has come up
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  multiple times with people today who have said, I'm so frustrated
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  with myself that I'm feeling this way.
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  And I cannot stress enough as somebody who spends all their
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  time dealing with emotions and helping everybody process them
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  that you getting mad that you're having an emotion is not going
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  to help you get rid of that emotion.
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  It's only going to cause exacerbated feelings about it
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  and frustration with it. Your emotions show up because
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  they're giving you information and it's your job to understand
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  what they're trying to tell you, glean from it what you can, and
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  then say, OK, I'm going to choose a different emotion and
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  I'm going to move on and it then it's going to come back again
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  because that's how emotions work.
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  I like to think of this like kind of like ants, you know, you
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  see one Ant, you know there are going to be others that show up
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  with it. And sometimes there's a steady
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  stream of them and they're just beaming in.
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  And that's like how emotions show up.
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  It's like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
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  And you're like, Oh my God, where are they all coming from?
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  Where is this anthill? What is happening?
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  And they just show up in force. So beating yourself up for
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  having the emotion or saying the quintessential line of the day
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  was I'm, I thought I got rid of this.
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  Well, you never get rid of all your emotions.
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  If you've read the who's driving your bus book, you know you the,
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  the motions. Our emotions are fixed.
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  They are on our bus in our head. We are driving that bus.
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  And you cannot kick emotions off the bus.
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  They are not the kind of passengers you can pull over and
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  say, hey, get the hell off the bus.
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  It doesn't work that way. The emotions are here and they
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  are here to stay and they are all useful in some way.
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  And if one keeps showing up over and over again and you have
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  really done your homework with like understanding what's it
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  trying to tell me? What is the reason it's showing
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  up? What can I learn from it?
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  All that good stuff. If you've debriefed that emotion
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  and you have made the decision that you want to be out of that
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  emotion, then you simply thank the emotion and choose a new one
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  and it will probably show back up again.
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  And when it shows back up again, our job is again to say, look at
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  you. You're back again, thought I got
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  rid of you just like the ants. And you push it to the point
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  where you're like, OK, Yep, I, I, I hear you.
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  And I'm not doing that anymore. I choose to do this instead.
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  I choose this emotion, I choose this action, I choose something
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  else because it doesn't help to beat yourself up about it.
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  They will come back. Patterns will come back.
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  How you handle things will come back because it's burned into
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  our brains where we, we have patterns that we live in.
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  And it's our job to interrupt the pattern and put something
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  new in. It's just, it's basic, but we
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  don't like it and we get frustrated and we want to just
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  like really be mean to ourselves about it.
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  We are so mean to ourselves sometimes.
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  We wouldn't ever speak to somebody else the way we speak
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  to ourselves in our head. And we have to stop it.
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  I mean, would you talk to a child that way?
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  Would you talk to a relative? Or maybe you talk to a relative
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  that way, but you wouldn't talk to most people that way.
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  And so you have to take into consideration how you're showing
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  up for yourself because you can't fix something if you don't
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  change how you're showing up for yourself.
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  Even if you have to write it all down to get it out of your head.
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  Paper and pencil is a fabulous way to get things out so you can
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  see it and say this is a pattern that shows up When I see this,
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  this happens when I hear this, this happens when I say this,
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  this happens. And then I feel this way and
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  write and, you know, just go right down the line.
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  Follow that, like all those little patterns and curves and
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  corners that they take, get it all down and then you can look
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  at the paper and say, OK, well now I can see why this is
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  ridiculous. Now I can see that this is no
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  good. So nothing is worth being this
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  frustrated about. And everything, everything is in
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  the information that you collect.
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  So be kind to yourself, work yourself through it, ask better
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  questions, and just remember you can't kick them off the bus, my
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  friends. All right, everybody, I hope you
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  have a blessed day and I will see you all tomorrow.
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  Bye.