Latest / Start Your Comeback: Rebuilding after Divorce, Empty Nest, and Loss of Spouse / You Can Rise Again: Tools for Decision-Making in Times of Shock

Transcript

You Can Rise Again: Tools for Decision-Making in Times of Shock · Start Your Comeback: Rebuilding after Divorce, Empty Nest, and Loss of Spouse

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Is there a major life transition benching you?
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: I know you may be asking what's next?
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: What's my purpose?
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: What if?
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Because I've asked those too.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Start your Comeback podcast.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: I'm Toni Thrash, a certified life coach, and I want to share the tools and practical steps to help you create a winning game plan to move into your new adventure.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: Hi, welcome back.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: You are listening to episode 86.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: I have got some exciting news to share with you.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: I have got some exciting news to share with you.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: I am currently writing my very first book, start your Comeback, and it's set to release, hopefully late fall of 2025.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: This book has been a long time coming and is born out of years of walking through real life transitions, coaching others through theirs and learning how to build a comeback strategy when life knocks you flat.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: It's packed with honest stories, hard-won lessons and game plans to help you rise again stronger, wiser and more anchored in who you are.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: I can't wait to get it in your hands.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: Stay tuned.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: But today I want to talk about doubt in the wake of shock, like when transitions shake your faith and your decision-making.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: We're getting honest about a double hit that life often throws at us the shock of a transition and the doubt that floods in right after, doubt that floods in right after.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: Whether it's divorce, an empty nest, a job loss or a diagnosis you never saw coming, transitions have a way of pulling the rug out from under you.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: And when you're down, doubt doesn't knock.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: It walks right on in.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: Over the course of the next few weeks, we're going to be talking about doubt and decision-making in every stage of a life transition.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: Today I'm going to weave in decision-making through shock.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: Let's get into it.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: You know shock, it's something I talk about on the regular around here.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: It's a physiological and an emotional shutdown.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: It's what happens when the life you knew abruptly changes and your mind scrambles to process something it didn't prepare for.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: You may feel frozen, stare at the wall, you lose track of time, you forget what day it is and you second-guess even the simplest decisions.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: It's not a weakness, it's human.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: Shock can be caused by a sudden loss or betrayal, a medical diagnosis, an empty nest, a career being yanked away without warning, a career being yanked away without warning, or retirement.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: And in that daze that shock brings here comes doubt, dressed up like a friend offering reality checks.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: But doubt is actually the intruder in the transition.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: It shows up, disguised as logic.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: It whispers things like maybe I'm not strong enough for this.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: What if I never bounce back?
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: Did I miss God's voice?
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: Maybe I wasn't meant for more?
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: I can't even think to make a decision.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: Doubt feeds off of shock's silence.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: It loves an unanchored mind.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: It thrives when the questions outnumber the answers.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: And here's the truth If you're not careful, you'll start believing.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: Doubt is discernment, but it's not.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: It's fear with a megaphone, but it's not.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: It's fear with a megaphone.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: I remember a time and season of deep personal shock, the moment I realized my marriage was ending.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: I was sitting on my living room couch and, I swear, the air left the room.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: The conversation was over, the decision was made and I felt like I'd just gotten benched in the championship game of my life.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: And my first thought was what now?
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: Where do I go?
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: The second thought or question was what did I do wrong?
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: And third, can I even come back from this?
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: Because, you see, shock had set in.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: Doubt moved in.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: Here's the thing Doubt is loud, but it's not the final voice.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: It affects every decision that you make and when you are in shock, it's all you can decide is to just get out of bed the next day, you see, doubt feels so convincing.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: Why?
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: Because it pretends to protect you.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: It offers you safety in exchange for smallness.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: It offers you safety in exchange for smallness.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: It wants you to shrink your dreams, stop trying, stay silent and, worst of all, settle.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: But you weren't made to just survive.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: Although in shock, this is what we're doing is surviving.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: You were made to rise up even from this, especially from this.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: I've got five tools to help you break the doubt cycle.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: This is your let's just call it your game plan to quiet doubt during the shock stage.
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: Number one you name it Out loud, say it out loud.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: I'm in shock.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: And this is doubt.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: Clarity weakens fear's grip and starts to get rid of the doubt.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: Number two you've got to anchor to truth.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: What do you know about yourself?
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: What do you know about God?
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: What do you know about your history of comeback?
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: Think on those things.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: Number three phone a friend.
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: You heard me phone a friend.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: You need people who can hold faith for you when yours is shaky.
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: This is not the time to isolate.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: This is the time to bring in those close people to help you not doubt yourself and to hear truth.
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: And number five, finally most people don't like this one, but I say it every time.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: Finally, most people don't like this one, but I say it every time.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: Journal the doubt, Write it down and then write down the truth next to each lie.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: Call it out and call it what it is Doubt and fear.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: All of these steps will begin to help in your decision making, because it's real when you are in shock, you aren't sure what is real and what isn't.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: These steps will help you begin to come out of the shock and be able to make good, solid decisions.
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: Let me add here that making any big decisions need to wait until you have come through this shock phase.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: There's a verse that's been tattooed on my wrist for a reason.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: It's 1 Thessalonians 5 17.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: Pray without ceasing.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: When you're in the shock phase, when nothing feels solid, prayer is your lifeline.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: It's not fancy or perfect, it's desperate.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: It's real.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: It sounds like it's desperate, it's real.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: It sounds like God.
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: I don't get this.
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: I don't like this, but I'll trust you'll use this.
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: That's come background.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: I remember going for multiple walks a day to just pray.
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: Pray because nothing felt real, but I knew that my relationship with Jesus was solid.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: Doubt is part of our transitions, every single one of them.
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: We wonder if we've made the right decision.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: But it doesn't get to write your ending.
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: You are still in the story, still in the game, and the scoreboard doesn't close until God says so.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: You've survived too much, so let doubt hold you hostage.
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: Now let's talk.
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: If you're navigating a shock season and doubt has gotten louder than your hope, schedule a coaching call with me today.
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: You don't have to do this alone and you don't have to stay where you are.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: The first step out of doubt is choosing to believe there is a comeback and that it starts with one small decision today.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: Next week we'll talk about decision-making during the limbo phase and then follow that by the re-entry phase.
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: But the whole purpose and sequence of these episodes are to build some doubt resilience in you.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: So stick around.
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: You won't want to miss it.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: I'll see you next time.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: Hey, thanks for listening.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: I don't take it for granted that you're here.
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: You didn't listen by mistake.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: If you want to reach out, you can DM me on Instagram at Tony Thrash Until next week.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: Remember, there's still time left on the clock.
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: Let's get you off the bench to start your comeback.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: I want to give a special shout out to Country Club for the original music.
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: You can find them on Instagram at Country Club.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: Thank you.