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Transcript

Presence Is The Only Requirement (Podcast) · The Providers Playbook Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Last week when we were talking about what's real,
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: what's not,
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: that amazing photo,
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: one of my sons pointed out when we were talking about texting and you don't have
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: to be efficient when you're calling somebody.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to be efficient at everything.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: And he called it out.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: He said, Dad, we should talk more about that.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: Well, that's going to be the topic today.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: We're going to talk about when you did not need to optimize something.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, my beautiful providers.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's Saturday, podcast time.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: Turn me up or turn me off.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: Let's fucking go.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: I started the Providers Playbook in the beginning of this year.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: You can read about all the reasons on my website.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: But one of the main reasons is I love my family and It takes a lot of pride
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: in providing for them and fulfilling that role.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: I've made mistakes.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: I've done some successes.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: And the writing is to share a lot of that stuff.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: And what I've learned throughout the year and just through my life is I try
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: to optimize many things.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: I try to be efficient at many things.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: I even try to optimize putting away the dishes, if you want to believe that.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I'm also learning today?
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: There are definitely times where I don't need to optimize.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I've learned this through the school of hard knocks.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I wrote about this in the playbook this morning.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: And it's a great example.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: My wife and I even talk about it to this day.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: We have some regret, some learnings.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: But we've pivoted to make sure we enjoyed it.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: But all of our kids play tennis.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: We're a tennis family.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: We love the sport.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: And we found ourselves chiming in a little bit too much.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: Offering ways to optimize.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: And the result was friction.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: Our kids were not saying, hey, great job, mom and dad.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: I really appreciated that piece of feedback at this certain game and this certain set.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, we weren't hearing any of that.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: When we did hear that, it was usually later on.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: It was usually when the intensity of the match went away.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: It was usually when they asked questions.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: And we provided,
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: and by the way,
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: after a couple of days go by,
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: the things that you thought were important at that moment fade,
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: and the ones that were really important,
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: like maybe footwork or things like that, stayed, and the feedback resonated.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: I'll even take that example one step further.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know what we heard often, even when we were providing feedback?
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks, Mom and Dad.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: Really glad to have you there.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: Really appreciated you watching me, Mom and Dad.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: Heard that almost 100% of the time.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: Later on, sometimes we would hear, you know what, Mom?
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: That was a good piece of feedback.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: You know what, Dad?
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: You were right.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: Those were the exceptions.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: We always heard, thank you for being there.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the main point I want to stress and emphasize today is...
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes your presence is the only requirement needed.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: So that tennis example is a great example.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: And trust me when I say this, the years go by fast.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: So parents,
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: if you have kids in sports,
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: learning from my experience,
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: probably best just to be present and experience the wonderful moment.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: The last point I want to cover today is these moments that we're not going
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: to optimize are Absolutely fucking critical to your overall mental health.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: I've covered in the article today all the various ways that we receive input
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: and data and updates and notifications and do this and you're behind on your steps.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: Besides me, who gives a shit if I did 12,000 or 15,000 steps today?
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: You see those little nagging updates and reminders are just little bloodsuckers,
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: bloodsucking vampires for your energy and your brain.
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  SPEAKER_00: So trust me when I say this,
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  SPEAKER_00: these moments,
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  SPEAKER_00: your kids' sporting events,
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  SPEAKER_00: walking potentially,
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  SPEAKER_00: reading the newspaper from last week,
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  SPEAKER_00: having dinner with people,
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  SPEAKER_00: you're going to really appreciate these moments and almost need them
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: because it's time for your brain to connect with With another person who has a soul.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: Who you can talk to and relate to that's not digital.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: These, these are going to be the moments that you actually cherish and remember.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: You guys got a homework assignment this week.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: Double down on last week.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: Get that newspaper.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: Go outside.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: Grab a donut.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: Get to the park and read it.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: Call somebody.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: Get that book open.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: And this week I'm adding another ask for us.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: Take 15 minutes.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: Just 15 minutes of time that you're going to have zero technology.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: I don't care if you meditate.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you go talk to someone.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe this is your phone call time.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: Use it wisely.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: That's the update for the week.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: You know how I'm going to close this thing.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: Get outside.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: Get some exercise.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: Get some vitamin D.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: And if you feel that there's a provider who could benefit from either the written
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: or hearing this as well, help this thing grow.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: We're all going to win together.