Latest / DidiLawren / Big Wedding Or Mortgage? Lady Lament After Being Barred From Her Friend’s Wedding Over Aso-Ebi

Transcript

Big Wedding Or Mortgage? Lady Lament After Being Barred From Her Friend’s Wedding Over Aso-Ebi · DidiLawren

• 0:32
  Hello and welcome back to another episode of wandering set
• 0:35
  on DeLorean TV channel, that celebrate ordinary people doing
• 0:40
  extraordinary things. So please subscribe, like,
• 0:43
  share, and also click on a notification Bill to get
• 0:46
  notified anytime. I post new content.
• 0:49
  So, for today's episode, I want to ask a question if you're
• 0:53
  given the opportunity to choose between very big wedding and
• 0:59
  more. Gage, or buying a house, what
• 1:03
  would you prefer? What would you choose?
• 1:08
  So, this conversation started and social media?
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  When a young lady, Twitter that she was refused access to her
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  friend's wedding because she was only able to buy actually be.
• 1:22
  For those of you who don't know what actually bees is basically
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  like brighter in how you have Bridal trains, but these are
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  people With kind of native attire, maybe lays and Kara, or
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  whatever. It is, like a uniform that they
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  wear to identify. Maybe the groomsmen or the
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  bride's Maids. So just let you saying that her
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  friend, a very good friend of ours was getting married and she
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  was excited about the wedding only for her to be informed that
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  if he doesn't buy, there should be, she's not going to The
• 2:00
  wedding. And she was, she said she was
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  devastated because her financial situation at that point.
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  She couldn't like she had other commitments.
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  Money was tied, so she couldn't call found that money to buy
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  their shabby and she made her friend aware of it.
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  That, you know, I'm happy to attend your wedding, but I
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  cannot pay for their, she be and friend.
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  Basically told her well, everything in the is in the
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  hands of The Wedding Planner, if you I cannot buy.
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  There should be you cannot attend my wedding and, you know,
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  she was bitter about it. She was complaining bitterly
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  that this is what it is, is a very good friend of mine.
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  This is a wedding that I have. I've been looking forward to and
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  only for my, you know, for me to be Uninvited because of what in
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  our should be. So let me just break this down a
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  little bit. For those of you who don't know
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  about Nigerian wedding, most times people that say, Last
• 3:00
  tribute to people especially those who are not financially
• 3:05
  buoyant. So for them to raise money for
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  their wedding, they usually sell a she be at several inflated
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  price. So the money they make from
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  selling actually be, they use this money to, you know, cater
• 3:20
  for some of the needs that they have for that wedding.
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  And most times you see that everybody wants to have a big
• 3:26
  wedding. I remember a friend, Of mine.
• 3:31
  The causing was getting married and I was invited.
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  I was excited about it and we sat down, and we are talking
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  about this wedding here in the UK.
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  And she was just giving me kind of a breakdown of the whole
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  wedding, and she mentioned the whole.
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  The whole was very expensive. So, I was basically asking I was
• 3:55
  like, why is your cousin paying such an amount of money for just
• 4:00
  The venue. And that is a ridiculous amount
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  of money. They had to pay a year in
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  advance, to be able to afford like a fraction of the price and
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  it wasn't even weekend. It was during the week.
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  So I was like, why do you have to pay that amount of money?
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  I was looking at the whole thing.
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  I was either put on my project management have, I was
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  calculating the budgets and I was like, just for the venue
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  alone. We're not talking about
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  decorations. We're not talking about
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  entertainment. We're not Talking about, you
• 4:31
  know food. We're just talking about the
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  venue itself. I you spent all this money and I
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  was telling her, this is a mortgage that, you know, she is
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  spending just on a venue when you guys because I know them,
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  she the both of them are just trying to, you know, get by.
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  And I was looking at it in the sense that this were going to
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  get married. They're going to start looking
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  for accommodation where they are going.
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  Move into because she the lady was staying with her parents.
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  He was he had an accommodation but obviously they have to move
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  from that accommodation, to accommodate the both of them in
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  a bigger house. Even if they are starting, small
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  is going to be like a one-bedroom house.
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  And I was looking at the cost of that after the cause that they
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  would have incurred during that wedding.
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  And then starting a life together is going to be a whole
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  new cost on it. Sewn.
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  So I was like, why wouldn't you just get a mortgage?
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  And, you know, do a very small wedding.
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  You can now celebrate like an anniversary, very big one when
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  you're relaxed and balanced. You know, my friend just said,
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  well, that is what she wanted. She wanted.
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  She wanted a big wedding. He started selling a freebie.
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  It was inflated price. I got my she be and even at that
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  point, you know, I wasn't really, I was thinking what
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  would I will spend this amount of money on and on?
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  This material that I will still have to go.
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  And so and it was just ridiculous for.
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  I was like, if this is how I'm going to support this couple and
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  happy to do that. So I went back and I was
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  thinking about it. I was like, would I like if I am
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  in her shoes, I mean, people are different and I was asking the
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  question based on myself. I said, if I was in her shoes,
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  and I have that money to pay. E-40 whole, we're not talking
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  about the wedding dress. When I was talking about the
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  outfit that both the bride and groom are going to where we're
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  not talking about accessories. We're not talking about rings.
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  When I was talking about, you know, a whole bunch of things
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  that you have to think about before wedding that is more.
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  Even this is just for the whole. So I was thinking if I have that
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  money, Alfred I get a mortgage. Doesn't have like, I don't know.
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  Like, people are different. Some people will tell you
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  they've been planning their wedding when they were
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  teenagers. Like you decided planning your
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  wedding windy. We like 10 11, and I'm thinking,
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  huh? How I think, for me, you can
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  have the wedding of your dreams if you want, if you can afford
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  it, but the reality is, a lot of people cannot afford the wedding
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  that they want. They plan they have this, you
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  know, big massive wedding. In in their head that they want
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  to, you know, have for themselves or their finances
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  does not match what they are planning our.
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  Most of these people go into the get loans from Banks, especially
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  the ladies because I think for men, they are kind of black and
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  white. They are straight forward with
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  their finances. If they cannot afford something,
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  they will tell you, they cannot afford it.
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  But most times it is the ladies that want to have That big
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  wedding regardless of how much is going to cost.
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  So you see a lot of families going into debt as this lady.
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  Actually, some years back. She got married, like it was, it
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  was a massive wedding. Like the Nigerian wedding.
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  It was big. It was colorful.
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  It was the Talk of the Town, everybody attended and I think
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  she was trying to get into influence in at that point.
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  So she kind of decided to use a big wedding to break.
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  Into the world of influencing and it worked, it worked really
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  well because everybody was talking about the wedding.
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  Everybody was talking about the colors, the venue the food, and
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  all that. So fast forward a few months
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  later because she got the loan in her name to pay for the
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  wedding. And I think maybe the husband at
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  that point was saying, I cannot afford this, why are we even
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  getting into debt before even getting married ball?
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  You know, when people have that mindset of I want my wedding to
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  be the Talk of the Town. She got the loan.
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  She sponsored the wedding, and they were supposed to be as a
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  couple. I think she porns that as a copy
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  there. They are supposed to be paying
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  for this loan. But when they got married, they
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  started living together. Most of our money was going to
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  pay this even known that she goes.
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  While the husband is thinking, we're now down to, we are
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  married. I know.
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  I need you to help me with, you know, certain things.
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  And from our own perspective. He is not being understanding
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  because the money that she bought from the bank.
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  She used it to sponsor. They are very massive, lavish
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  wedding. So it caused quite a bit of
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  friction between them and a couple of months later, the
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  wedding, the marriage ended. And even the wedding was a
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  success, but the marriage tanked and she came online.
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  She was bitter. She was Cleaning about how the
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  husband left, how its oldest loans that she took to sponsor
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  the wedding. And the man came out and said,
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  well, I did not ask you to borrow money for this wedding.
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  We got married. We already started with huge
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  debt. We got into this marriage with
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  huge dead. And now we are two in this
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  marriage and you're not even trying to help me.
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  You're busy paying these debts and you're thinking I am, you
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  know, not being a very Supportive husband, so you just
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  got messy online. At the end of the day.
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  I don't even know what happened or that was, how that marriage
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  ended. So sometimes I think people that
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  are selling actually be, you know, I should be is very
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  beautiful. Like, if you want if you see
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  weddings, one of the things that people actually, one of the
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  things I look at is actually the actual babies, and it makes it
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  so cold. We mix it.
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  So beautiful. Both at the same time.
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  You don't have to impose that on people, especially friends.
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  I mean, if people want to buy and they can afford it.
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  It's okay, even if you're having five people where you are should
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  be that, I mean, I think I'm just different.
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  I think that's the way my mind works or imposing inflated
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  material price on people, just because you want to raise money
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  for your way. Aging.
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  I don't think that is fair. I don't think that is fair.
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  And even after that wedding, people are not even thinking
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  after wedding was going to happen in the marriage.
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  People plan for wedding, but they don't float plan for
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  marriage. Like the friend.
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  I was telling you about after marriage.
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  It was just it anyway. Anyway, don't just want to do
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  big wedding. That's everybody's going.
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  Talk about and then you get into the marriage.
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  You're like scraping by drinking Gary on a daily basis just to
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  get by like how is that you're just doing wedding to please
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  people and then you in the marriage and you're literally in
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  debt paying different money. You're trying to just why do
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  people do that? Why even for me, even if I get a
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  sponsor that will tell me I am going to Sponsor your wedding.
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  And if I have a point in time, I don't have a mortgage or I don't
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  have a house. If I know that I'm going to
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  spend all this amount of money on the wedding, and then for the
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  marriage, I'm going to be probably managing daily trying
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  to pay bills, you know, even just working to pay bills and
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  rather. Thank you for your generosity
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  and I will explain why I am going to have a smaller wedding
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  and use the rest of that person, especially anybody that is happy
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  to contribute financially if you explain to them why and how you
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  want to spend that money wisely. I don't think any reasonable
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  person would tell, you know that.
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  No, I just I just want you to have a big wedding.
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  No, they're going to understand. They use cell in a Chevy to
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  people. You're kicking friends out there
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  cannot afford. You are shibby just because
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  you're trying to raise money for your wedding.
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  That is not nice. I think people should start
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  making better financial decisions, especially when
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  you're coming together as two people to live together.
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  I mean, the first thing you need to be talking about is how to
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  manage your finances, how you're going to get things, make life
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  easier for you along the line. And at the end of the day,
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  you're still going to actual drain, regardless of how you
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  think. Okay.
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  I am financially, okay, and he is financially, okay, you're
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  going to have children. And along the line, you're going
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  to struggle at some point, but if you don't have the, the issue
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  of, you know, moving from house to house, then it's a bit
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  easier. It it makes life much, much
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  easier. So people should start
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  rethinking certain things. Don't just have big wedding
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  because everybody is having big weddings.
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  Don't just think. Okay, my brother or my sister
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  got married. And she hired 15 million whole
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  me that is getting married right now.
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  I want to hire a hundred million hole because I can do it.
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  No, it's not a competition. Where what?
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  I think that's the problem. People are always competing.
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  You see somebody you they said, oh this person they are showing
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  be is about 100,000 Nara and you're thinking our me, my own
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  is going to be 200,000 error, but the You're imposing that on
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  canvas. Can you afford it?
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  Can your inner circle. Inner friends are follow those
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  things, and if they cannot afford it, are you happy to to
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  just work on them as friends and not just keep them out just
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  because they cannot pay for your she be.
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  So people should start thinking about things.
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  I mean, if we talk about financial literacy, Financial
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  intelligence financial management, it's not about What
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  unique is it's not even about what you save.
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  It's about how you put that money in.
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  Use question is a very big wedding or baggage or house.
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  Let's say you have a very, you know, financially stable.
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  Your husband-to-be is not financially.
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  Stable and somebody very generous donor, General sponsor
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  tells you. I'm happy to sponsor your
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  wedding. Am happy to give you this amount
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  of money to spend for your wedding.
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  Would you blow all that money on a wedding?
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  And then, you know, starts trembling during the marriage?
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  Or would you get a mortgage and make life easier for you when
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  you get into that marriage? What would you do?
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  Resist the urge to the Chalet resist the urge to Pepper people
• 16:30
  resist the urge to appear where Elijah life is too short.
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  Make life easy for yourself. So what that is, more an
• 16:38
  opinion, I want to hear your opinion.
• 16:40
  What would you do if you're giving that option, which option
• 16:46
  would you take? So let me know in the comment
• 16:48
  section, please like like like share this video And subscribe
• 16:52
  to my channel and thank you very much for watching.
• 16:56
  Bye. Bye.