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Transcript

From the Messy Middle to Wholeness: Navigating Life's Transitions with the REAL Process · Live Your Legacy

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Live Your Legacy, where every story holds a turning point.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: And every turning point holds the power of legacy.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_02: Grace and greetings, and welcome to Live Your Legacy, a Mystery Grand production, the conversational podcast where we explore how life's defining moments shape the legacy we leave behind.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_02: I'm your host, Patricia D.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_02: Fordenberg, also known as Patty from New York, and this show is rooted in a simple truth.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_02: Grief is not always about death.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes it comes through life's changes, losses, detours, new beginnings.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_02: And here we speak with entrepreneurs, authors, leaders, and creators who have turned life's defining moments into meaningful work and lasting contributions.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_02: Because legacy is not only what we leave behind, it's what we are shaping right now through vision, impact, and purpose.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_02: And today I am honored to welcome our special guest, Debbie Ronka, who is a certified life coach, author of The Family Letter, and the creator of the Real Process, a proprietary framework that helps women move through life's most disorientated transitions and arrive on the other side with wholeness and clarity, with deep passion for helping women discover and dismantle the limiting beliefs that keep them stuck.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome to Live Your Legacy, Debbie Ronka.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_02: I appreciate you being here and tell us where you're coming in from, my friend.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: Hey Patty, it's great to be here with you.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I am coming all the way from Spring, Texas, which is just right outside of Houston, our major city here.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_01: So tell us how's the weather there?
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we are still in the high 90s, still in the high 90s, still swimming in our shorts and working on our tans.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, wow.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: And still, yeah, and at the end of September, it's still pretty warm.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_01: We're hoping October will at least drop at five degrees, we'll all be happy.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, wow.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_02: I also want to add to the audience and our viewers here on Live Your Legacy that your clients go from confusion and overwhelm to overcoming a place of purpose and forward momentum.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_02: Do you want to tell us a little bit more about that?
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, all of those adjectives that you just described are all connected to classic transitions in life.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_01: Because transitions are all about change.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_01: And when we're called forth and something in our life changes, we can get anxious about it, we can get overwhelmed, and there's a whole process.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_01: I always say we are so busy about pressing through that we don't process.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what we kind of need to do with our transitions.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_02: All right, that's good.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_02: That's a good start.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_02: That's a good start.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_02: And we're gonna get right into it.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_02: You know how we roll here.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna ask the first question.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_02: Would you agree or disagree that hindsight is always 2020 and why?
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_01: Hindsight is a gift because I think when we look back, when we're out of the confusion, when we're out of the chaos, we can look back and maybe see the beauty that was being developed while we felt like we were in the ashes.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: We can look back and see what was being developed in us that we didn't understand at the moment.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes, in the actual moment that you're in, we don't always have objectivity because we can't look out and look in at the same time because we're so busy processing.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_01: And so the hindsight gives us a beautiful view to look back and say, Wow, look where I have come from.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_02: I love that you called it a gift.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_02: I actually I have my pen here.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_02: I actually wrote that down.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_02: I love when a guest comes on and it's such a different perspective, right?
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_02: We all have the same goal, but so many different ways to get there sometimes.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe we don't all have the same goals.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_02: Let me take that back, but thank you for that gift of the word gift because I never looked at it that way.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_02: So that was you just gave me the gift.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_02: All right.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_02: That's awesome.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_02: That's really awesome.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_02: Debbie, can you take us back a moment and share with us a pivotal moment that changed the direction of your life and work?
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yes, absolutely.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: So, one specific moment in my life, and I think a lot of women can relate to this.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: I raised three children.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_01: My youngest was in high school, and I was getting ready to step into the major transition in a woman's life of becoming an empty nester.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: Now, what's interesting about that is I was already very involved in my community.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: I was an active person.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_01: So it wasn't, I didn't think in my mind that I would feel this emptiness as much as I did because my role, my identity changed.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_01: And what happened to me, Patty, it was during that time, my husband was saying to me, Maybe you should think about something for yourself when you get into that season.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: What do you want to do for yourself?
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I, you know, and it was interesting, it was probably two weeks later, I get this invitation to step into the fashion industry to become a consultant, to represent a high-end designer, start my own business with her clothes, travel around the country, learn fashion, get my own clients, and be one of the first to start here in the city of Princeton.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: Well, most people, when they hear that, would be, gosh, that's phenomenal.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: What an opportunity.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_01: But me in that season of my life, Patty, I went into complete overwhelm.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: As I heard the description of what I had the opportunity to do.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: First of all, it wasn't in my wheelhouse.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't know anything really about fashion.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't know how to start a business.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_01: I wasn't in the marketplace.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_01: Everything about it was new, everything about it was challenging.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: Everything about it made me feel inadequate.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I was actually rejecting my success before I even got there.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: All I could think of is, I'm gonna fail.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna be able to do this.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: This is too much.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_01: And so it was interesting.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_01: I came out of emptiness and I was afraid to step into a realm I never walked into before.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_01: And my husband in his great wisdom said, Debbie, it's just your fear.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_01: It's just your fear, and I had to really think about what am I afraid of?
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_01: And this is where I love to share.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_01: I made mistakes, got some scars along the way.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_01: I pressed through, I didn't process because I didn't understand at the time that was a transition in my life.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_01: And I went in and I did the business.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_01: I took all that emotional overwhelm with me.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_01: I took that inadequacy, I took that insecurity, I took that doubt with me.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_01: And it made it hard for me in the beginning because I was always battling myself as I was building this business.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_01: And I was in this business for 10 years, and it was a great success.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: I loved every and I learned so much.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: But what was interesting is when I became a life transition coach and studied transitions, it was an aha moment.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: And all I could think of is, oh my gosh, there really is a process to a transition.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_01: There really is a phase.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: There's a system, there's a way you go through it so that you can come out on the other side and be healthy.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_01: And the first thing I said to myself was, I wish I knew someone who understood transitions when I was going through that pivotal moment in my life because they could have helped me process all those negative emotions, all those negative mindsets and limiting beliefs that I had about myself so that I could step into that new season more in confidence than overwhelm.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_02: I love the full circle of that.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_02: I love the full circle of circle, too.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_02: Because you needed a Debbie Ranka, right?
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_02: I did.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_02: That's really cool.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_02: And when you were talking about, and then when you were talking about the empty nestor, in a way, and I can't read your mind, but maybe because I'm a woman who had children and my story is a little different, but that sense of it's not gonna happen to me.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not gonna feel that way.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_02: It's not gonna happen to me until you're in it, right?
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_02: Until you're in it.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_02: So, you know, I got a sense of that.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_02: Not sure if I'm spot on there, but I got a sense of that, like you had this idea before you went into that.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, it's not gonna happen to me.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna go into a new career, and then when you were in it, like you just shared, it was a different all of a sudden you're like, wait a minute.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, wait a minute.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_01: Whoa, whoa, who am I now?
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so it leads me into the next question.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_02: What challenge would you say was a blessing in disguise?
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_02: And you might have shaded a little bit what you just shared, but tell us a little bit more.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_02: Was there a challenge that now, in hindsight, was a blessing?
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so glad you asked that question because this is what people miss when transition is calling you forth into a new season or a new direction.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_01: So I had two at the same time.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_01: It was a new season, I was an empty nester, I was in a completely new direction, something I've never done before in my life.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: Now it's interesting, I used to write plays, I used to do different things and head up organizations.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_01: So you would have thought, why were you so overwhelmed?
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_01: But it was so completely different.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_01: And here's what we all miss.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_01: If we don't take the risk, if we don't step out and grow, if we don't step out and challenge ourselves, we miss what that new season or direction wants to bring to us.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_01: And so the blessing in an all patty is look at what I'm doing now.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_01: If I had not gone into the marketplace, if I had not learned how to build a business, I would not have become a life coach and built my business, I would not have become an author, I would have not become a podcast host, and I would not be sitting here with you today.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_01: That's the blessings that wait for us when we step into the room.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_01: By the way, unknown.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_02: Now that you answered that, and we got some love here.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_02: Trisha Rue, I'm very friendly with Trisha Rue.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_02: She's doing great things in the world.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_02: We never see it until we are in it, she says.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_02: She's an amazing, inspirational, a lot of things, inspirational speaker.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_02: Also, I want to tell you this that you also blessed others because of your coaching, because of your podcast, because of your authorship.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_02: So you have blessed so many.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_02: And I was also honored to be a guest on your show.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_02: That was really awesome.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_02: So I encourage you guys to check out Debbie's podcast.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_02: We'll get to that in a little bit.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_02: But let's keep going.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_02: We've got some more love here from Trisha.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_02: True blessings.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_02: That is that is right.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_02: So going into the next question, who has been the most memorable mentor in your life and why?
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_02: And listen, it may not be one, but who comes to the top of your mind?
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_02: And it could be two or three, but take it away, Debbie.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_01: Every time I'm asked that question, I almost want to cry because sometimes we think we're so insignificant in life.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_01: But there's one woman, and her name is Arland.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_01: And when I got transferred from New Jersey to Texas, an estate that I had so much to learn about, I was probably in my 20s, she was in her 40s, and at then I thought, oh, she's old.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_01: Her perspective is so different now.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_01: But she took me under her wing and she taught me things about how to raise my children.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_01: She taught me how to pray.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_01: She taught me how to set a beautiful table for the holidays.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_01: She spoke into my life.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_01: She imparted so much.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_01: And the way I've raised my children, I've learned so much from her.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_01: And but the time you think, what am I doing?
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just spending time with a young mom and I'm trying to help her.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_01: But you know what she's done?
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_01: Now I have been doing the same.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_01: I am a mentor to young moms because I know what it meant to me.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, she literally changed my life.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_02: Leading by example comes to mind, leading by example, and I love that that mothering, that that nurturing, the just like a cub or bear teaches a cub how to pick berries.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just saying, just really beautiful that you can appreciate that, right?
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_02: And then you paid it forward, and I love that.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_02: I I love the reciprocity of that.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_02: That's really true mentorship when you see the fruits of that.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_02: I don't I don't know if it was labor necessarily, but she did take the time to pour into you.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_02: That's really beautiful.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_02: Was there uh a revelation?
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_02: Is there a revelation, personal motto, or lessons that help guide your journey?
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_01: That's a very deep question.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_01: I you know what I I believe, I just I believe one of the my core values is encouragement.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_01: And so for me, when I'm with people, I want to leave them with hope.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_01: I want to leave them feeling better about themselves.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_01: I want them to know that what they're doing is important.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_01: It's I want to just drop inspiration, drop encouragement, because we all go through life wondering are we recognized, valued, or celebrated?
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_01: And if I can come along and even in the grocery store and even just say to that cashier, what you did was amazing.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_01: You are really fast.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_01: And their response is like nobody ever thanks them.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_01: And so for me, it's all about looking for the gold in another person, pulling it out to help them run their race.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's so beautiful.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_02: When you were speaking, I'm thinking you're dropping seeds of hope.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_02: And hope is a mustard seed.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_02: Let's be honest here.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_02: Very good.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_02: Very good.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_02: I'm thinking I'm a visual, and I'm thinking, oh, she's dropping those mustard seeds of hope.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_02: I like that.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_02: I like that.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_02: So, Debbie, what would you say to your younger self today?
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_01: I would say to my younger self, and I think a lot of people would say this: believe in who you are.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_01: Trust your heart.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_01: Trust your heart because it's out of the issues of our heart that our mouth will speak.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_01: So trust your heart because some people may not see what or feel what you feel, but your heart, your instincts are all here.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_01: So follow your heart because that'll keep you on the path that you were created to walk on.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_02: That's absolutely beautiful.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_02: That's beautiful.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_02: What wisdom would you want your future self to keep holding on to?
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_01: That it's never too late to try something new.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_01: Don't give up.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_01: The best years are still yet to come, and there's still so much more to discover.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's a season of significance.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_02: Oh gosh, that was really yeah.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_02: High five, up in the air, hand all of the above.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_02: That was really good.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_02: What does legacy mean to you personally, Debbie?
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_01: Oh gosh, a legacy is to me, it's to me, legacy has life.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_01: Legacy continues from generation to generation.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_01: It's a legacy that I'm giving to the generation that has come after me so that they can continue it to their next generation.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_01: And legacy is about how I live my life.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_01: It's not what I do so much, it's how I live my life, how I've impacted people and how I've made a difference.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_02: I couldn't write down fast enough.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_02: Legacy has life.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_02: Legacy has life.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_02: That is so worth repeating.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna I'm gonna take that as a gift, also.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm gonna be sharing that with the world.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, uh attributes to you until it becomes mine.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_02: I'll tell you this.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_02: I'll tell you this.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_02: A legacy is my area of focus, hence with your legacy.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_02: But that is so beautifully said, legacy has life.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_02: I don't think I ever said it that way.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_02: That's absolutely beautiful.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_02: And while I was writing it down, what came to mind is the living water, that well now that keeps on giving.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_02: So thank you.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for giving us that.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_02: You're giving a lot of gifts today, everybody.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_02: I hope you got a good swag bag here.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_02: What does what do you hope people remember the most about the way you lived, worked, or served?
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_01: That people would remember.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_01: That she let her faith be bigger than her fear, and that she believed she could, and she did.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I just got the chills.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna let that sit for a minute.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, something to really think about.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_02: Beautiful.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_02: Trisha Roos says legacy gives life and has life.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes, it gives life.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_01: You're actually transferring something.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_01: That's beautiful, Terisha.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_01: You're transferring something to the next generation.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_02: And that's right there in your lane, transformation.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_02: So that's a beautiful circle.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_02: Again, we're doing a lot of full circles here on the show today.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_02: I'm loving it.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_02: I got the goosebumps with that though, because that was just so so well said and well received.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_02: If you could do it all over again, would you change anything?
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_02: Or did every part of the journey have a purpose?
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_01: Pain has purpose.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't believe our pain is wasted.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_01: I believe God has a way, He uses it all.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_01: So even when I've made mistakes, even when I've fallen down, I've learned because failure is like the portal to discovery.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_01: And so when you fail, it's okay.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_01: The only failure is the one you never learned.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_01: And so if you learn from your failure, and then you get to discover more, you just keep getting up.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_01: And no, I wouldn't change anything because it all made me who I am today.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_01: And it's made me become familiar with areas in my life.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_01: If I step into that place again, I can remember you were here before, you can get through this again.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_01: Let's keep going.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, I could see why you're a coach.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_02: I could see why you're a coach.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_02: Saying that the only failure is not learning, that is so profound.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_02: I really hope people understand how important that one phrase was because we're all under this new notion, and it sounds real pretty, and it feels good from the moment.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_02: There is no such thing as failure.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_02: You there's so many motivational speakers, and I'm probably one of them that say, Oh, you fall forward.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_02: When you fall, you're looking up.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_02: There's only one.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_02: But you're being like raw and real.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, there actually can be failure, and it's right there, it's right there.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_02: You still have a chance to redeem yourself and unfail yourself.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_02: Is that even a word?
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_01: We'll make it one.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_02: We'll make it one, but even just by being able to, in hindsight, look back, as you said, it's a gift.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_02: Look back and take something to learn from that.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_02: Because I is it ever too late?
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_02: Now, this is not one of my typical questions, but is it ever too late to learn something?
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_02: Debbie, what do you think about this?
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_02: Because I really love what you share.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_01: No, I always say it's never too late.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_01: As long as we're walking, talking, and breathing, there's opportunity in front of us.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_01: If we would open our eyes to look around, because we're never done.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_01: The latter years are supposed to be the better years in our life, because in this season in my life, you've lived a so many years and you have the wisdom and the experience of life to be able to impart to others.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_01: So that's the first life-giving thing.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_01: I do a uh group coaching and I help women 60s and beyond.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_01: You're not finished, you're actually just beginning something brand new.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_01: And so to always look at ourselves as a well that somebody could come up and start priming that pump, and something should always be coming out.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_01: Never let yourself get stagnant.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_01: Try something new.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_01: You'd be surprised at what you're capable of, but you'll never know until you step out of your comfort zone and go to where you're uncomfortable.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_01: And you'll feel so stretched and challenged and fulfilled, and you'll be really happy you did.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_01: And actually, your family, your friends will notice something different about you because you're now going to have this new step in your life and you're going to feel inspired because you want to be able to get up and have something to do.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember my mother when she was 88, and she said, Debbie, I wake up in the morning and I don't have anything to do.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_01: At 88, she was saying, I want something to do.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_01: She wanted to have a purpose at 88.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_01: And I'll tell a quick story about her.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_01: She was in the Navy, she was 16 when she enlisted.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_01: She was one of the original waves, and she achieved This status of chief yeoman, which was uh highly unusual in the Navy.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_01: I think there were only two women that achieved that status.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_01: She did.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_01: And so when she was 88, she found another woman who was also a veteran, and the two of them in their late 80s adopted a platoon that was overseas.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_01: And every month these two women would go buy socks, buy candy.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_01: Every month they had a theme.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_01: Every month there was probably 30 men in this platoon, and they packaged up things and shipped them overseas.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_01: They did that for about a year.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_01: 88 years old, and they were looking for a purpose, and we have to have a purpose.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_01: And it could be something so simple, but you're impacting another person's life, you're receiving life as you give life, and that's the way we should be living.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_01: Never just sitting back expecting people to come always to us and take care of us.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_01: No, step forward and be part of life's journey.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_02: What's coming to mind is the yet the best is yet to be.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_02: We got some more love, Trisha.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_02: She's saying this is what I do too.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, this is why we're in alignment.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_02: This is what you do.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_02: We're and we're me, me and Debbie, we're in alignment, we're in accordance, and iron sharpens iron.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for the love.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for the love.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_02: I really appreciate it.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_02: But what what's coming to mind again is the best is yet to be and fulfilling purpose.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_02: Nothing feels sweeter.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_02: They say the cemetery is one of the richest places on earth because so many people die with their dreams.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_02: So it's gonna we're gonna we're gonna do our best to stop that happening.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_02: Shine their light, right?
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_02: We let them shine their light.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, go patty.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_02: Some more love by La LaDonna Booker.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_02: She's an amazing woman too.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_02: She has a few books out there, elevating your purpose, is one of them.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_02: So she's in accordance too.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_02: She's in alignment, she's another iron shopping iron grande to you too.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_02: And thank you for tuning in to this day.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_02: We're coming up to the top of the hour here.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_02: So we're gonna wrap it up with one of our signature questions.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_02: What is something about your journey that most people would be surprised to learn?
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_02: Now, remember, there's no right or wrong answer.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe it's a hobby, but tell us inquiring minds want to know.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_01: Probably you would not ever imagine that I take ballroom dancing, and I actually compete.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_01: So I do everything from the waltz and foxtrot to cha cha, roomba, the whole nine yards.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_01: And I have a funny story to tell.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_01: You talk about failure.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_01: I was at a competition in May, and I wound up getting morning, I got food poisoning or something two hours before I was supposed to go on the floor to compete.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_01: No, and so they're doing my hair and makeup, and I'm like, I can't have two hours, and they would not let me give up.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_01: And they happened to have someone there who was doing IVs, he was a vendor.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_01: So my husband bought me a package, they were putting IVs in my arm to hydrate me.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, all I want to do is go back to my room.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_01: Please don't, I don't want to dance.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_01: And they just kept saying, How much longer?
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_01: How much longer?
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_01: And so they I finally got and I was laying there.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_01: You talk about failure, and I'm going, I'm gonna go out there, I'm gonna come in last place.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_01: Like, why am I doing this?
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_01: It's not gonna be worth it because I don't feel good.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to do this.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_01: And they said, Debbie, try one dance, come out, do one dance if you can, and we'll go slow and we'll just see what happens.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_01: So I said, Okay, you got one dance, I'll go out.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I went out and we did one dance, and then I kept going and I kept going.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_01: I probably had to do 40 dances.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_01: And guess what?
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_01: Wow, that's a big difference from one to 40.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my goodness.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_01: It was like, okay, little did you know, little did you know.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_02: Little did I know.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_01: Don't give up, just keep trying to get out of the way.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_02: But if somebody told you, if somebody told you, Debbie, you're gonna be doing 40 dances, you might have gotten into overwhelm.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_02: What do you think about that?
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you kind of know when you go into the competition, like how many you're gonna do, but I wasn't, I didn't think I'd get past one because I felt so weak, but it was like, okay, I'm okay, I'm gonna be determined.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_01: I'm in a place I'm uncomfortable, I don't want to do this, but I'm gonna do my best.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I share all that because you're not gonna believe what happened.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_01: I took first place and shut the front door.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_02: Oh I didn't we all screamed.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_02: It was like this.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_02: That's like a mini mock story.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_02: That's like a mini mock story.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just saying, that's awesome.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_02: It was incredible.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_02: It's a story of do you know what happened?
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_02: So you I intercept a lot, I apologize.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_02: I get excited, as you could tell, because when you were talking about what you do, and you were talking about transition, and you're talking about failures, and you're talking about getting uncomfortable, and here you are with all the ingredients, and look what it led to.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_02: You are the proof that is the in the pudding.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_02: Amazing, amazing.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_01: You never know what's on the other side, so you gotta keep going.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_01: You gotta try.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_01: You have to try.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_02: This is great.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_02: This is great conversation, Debbie.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you so much.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_02: But now uh I'm gonna share with the audience a little bit more about what you're doing here, and let's uh let's add this to the stage here.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_02: We got your website.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_02: Let us know where you're what you're doing these days.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_02: You shared a little bit about your coaching, but if you're doing more than coaching, tell us a little bit more.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna go down this website, let me know if I should go to any specific place, otherwise, I'm just gonna scroll down.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_02: But tell us a little bit more about what you're doing these days and what's giving you your passion and purpose.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, absolutely.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_01: One of the new things that I'm adding to my coaching is I'm getting certified, I'm in the process almost there, of becoming a post-betrayal transformation coach, helping women who have experienced betrayal.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's another whole trauma in life.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_01: It's very unique to process and heal from.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm excited about that so I can help women eat in those areas of life as well.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_02: These are some of the free assessments, and I see you have a free assessment, so don't snooze on that.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_02: If there's anybody listening that knows somebody or might feel led that, you know, I I think I I need a Debbie in my life.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_02: You give a free assessment right here, uh, and you got the little diagram.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_01: Free assessment.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_01: Go ahead and yeah, and then I want to encourage people don't steep keep reading the same chapter in your life.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_01: Get close that chapter and get into the next chapter.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it says it right here.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_02: Are you in between the chapters in your life?
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_02: I like this.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_02: Your website's really beautiful.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_02: We got a little video there, we got the podcast right there on the top, on the very, very top.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_02: We got your Facebook LinkedIn, Instagram, X, YouTube.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_02: You got your book on here.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_01: That's my course that you just went by.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_01: And I think if you click on that, I have coaching that comes with that.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_01: And it's a whole course that I wrote on transitions, and I take you through mindset, I take you through trauma, I take you through understanding of transitions and creating plans of actions, and you get to coach, my get me coaching with you as you go through that course.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_01: So highly encourage people to check that out.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_02: You know what I like about your course?
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_02: You know what I like about your course?
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes people shy away from hiring a coach because they be a lot of people shy away from getting a coach is because they feel like, oh, when do I end it?
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_02: When do I stop?
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_02: And I like that you give a little frame here.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_02: It's an eight-week, it's an eight-week journey.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_02: It's an eight-week course.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like people are more led to try it out for size because they're not gonna feel like, oh, now they're stuck, now they can't get away.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_02: I've heard a lot of stories that people will hire a coach and now the coach won't let them go.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_02: The coach won't let them go.
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_02: They feel like they're just never ready.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_02: But I like that you have a an eight-week course because you're okay, you could always do it again, right?
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_02: You could always take it again, but it's nice that okay, this is what we're doing for eight weeks.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_02: I love that you shared that with Patty.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_02: I love I love those types of videos.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I love that you share that because you can take the course by yourself if you want, or you can take it with me coaching.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_01: But what I do with women, I let you go because I'm on a course to help you get free.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_01: And so I always recommend six sessions if you just do one-on-one coaching with me.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_01: And if you need more, great.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_01: But that's my goal.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_01: We can get a lot done in six sessions.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_01: And I I believe in not holding on to clients, I believe in helping them and letting them go.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_01: I like that a lot.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_01: I like that a lot.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for that.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for sharing.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna pass it to you for some closing remarks before we get on out of here.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_02: Debbie, take it away.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_01: You know what?
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_01: You're valuable, your life matters, your story matters.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_01: I also just wanted to mention my book, The Family Letter.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_01: This is all about the longing that we all have inside of us to be known, loved, valued, and celebrated.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_01: And this book is all about the simple tool of a letter and how you can do that with your loved ones to build connectivity, create a culture of love, value, and encouragement in your home.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_01: It's an international bestseller and it's just impacting relationships around the world.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_01: So you can go to Amazon and get that.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_01: But I want to leave you with this thought to remember that transitions do have a purpose, and they do have a power within them.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_01: And the purpose is all about bringing us forward, and the power is in the transformation that we experience as we go through the transition.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_01: Transitions are inevitable, it's a part of our life.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_01: We're always closing one chapter and opening another.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_01: And there are some transitions that are unwelcomed, and they are the transitions of loss.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_01: This is what Patty deals with the grief, the transitions of loss of a loved one, a marriage, a relationship, a career, so much loss, loss of health, right?
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_01: These are all things that need to be processed.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_01: But I want to encourage you if you can see a bridge that transitions are the bridges in life that are going to take you from where you currently are to that new season or direction.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_01: Don't get afraid when you get in that messy middle, when all these things you need to discover about yourself come forth.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_01: Persevere, be diligent, because when you get to the other side, all the people that you're supposed to meet for that next season in life are on the other side of the transition.
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_01: They're not going to be over here if you stay where you're comfortable.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_01: You're never going to meet the new people or the opportunities if you don't go across that transition bridge and find them.
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what I love to help you do to do it healthy, to do it in wholeness and clarity.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_01: And you can trust me with your heart because I think your heart is so valuable, and so are you.
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_02: Beautiful.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_02: And we could also find your book on the website.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_02: Is that correct?
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you can, but you can go directly to Amazon and even easier.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_01: Even easier.
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_01: Even easier.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_02: Again, with that being said, I want to say thank you for listening and don't forget to hit subscribe, leave a five-star rating, and write a review.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_02: You can find us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube, iHeart, or wherever you get your podcast here today.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_02: This was Live Your Legacy, and this is our website, live legacy.vip.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_02: If you want to know more, check it out.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_02: And again, until next time, live your legacy.
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_02: Debbie, thank you so much.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_02: And again, see you next time.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_01: And hey, if you want to add a free gift to your audience, if they want to go to my website and connect with me, just mention your podcast and they can get an hour of free coaching with me.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_02: Ooh, another gift.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_01: There we go.
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_02: Keep on coming.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you, Debbie.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you, Patty.
• 34:30
  unknown: Thank you.
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_00: And every turning point holds the power of legacy.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_00: Every step, every start, every store sweet leg is a mark, the time only comes up.