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Master Barber in prison resilience in reentry · Nightmare Success In and Out

0:01
What happens when your worst fear becomes your reality?
0:04
Hi, I'm Brent Cassidy. Welcome to the Nightmare Success
0:07
In and Out podcast, where we explore how to overcome your
0:10
fears and nightmares that set yourself free.
0:13
We're going to be exploring this topic with guys that was in
0:15
Leavenworth with and others who survived their own nightmare.
0:20
These stories can be inspiring, sometimes sad.
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There's some humor, but hopefully you can come away with
0:26
a nugget of something that'll help you knock down some of the
0:29
prisons you built up in your own mind.
0:34
All right, all right, all right. Welcome back, nightmare Success,
0:37
listeners. This is where you come from.
0:40
What happens when your worst fear becomes your reality?
0:42
How do you adapt, survive. Overcome set yourself free.
0:46
Hey if you like the show it it just helps out so much if you
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can you know follow subscribe like comment.
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It just it puts a it puts a show on steroids.
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I love it when you guys do that. I had an interesting interesting
1:02
guest. I always have interesting guest
1:04
but I I want to give a big shout out to Marcus Montgomery.
1:06
He said. Brent hey you got to you got to
1:08
check this guy out. Lowell Newsom.
1:10
He said he's got a great story and and it's if you look him up
1:15
on Instagram, he's a celebrity Barber, master Barber.
1:19
He's all about service. He's all about making the hair,
1:22
making the style. But he's got a great,
1:24
interesting story. And I he also walk us through
1:28
how difficult it is, even if you are the master Barber, to get
1:33
licensed, to get to actually be able to do your trade when you
1:37
get out because they make it so impossible to get licensed if
1:42
you're a justice impacted person, we're going to get into
1:44
all that. But before we do, I want to, I
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2:35
All right. Welcome in Lowell Newsom.
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How are you doing, man? Yeah.
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Brandon, I'm doing all right. Thank you for having.
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Me well we we've we've had we didn't give up on this Lowell
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because I mean we some reasons for some way this technology
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thing we couldn't hear each other So what do we do we
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switched from Riverside FM to zoom and we're good we can hear
2:59
and see each other might. Have been the weather, man, we
3:02
it's been rough. Here, in the same way the
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weather's been awful. It's been like gloomy rainy.
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This is the the this is that bad prison weather that that that
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brings you back like those bad prison days.
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And it's gloomy rainy. You go outside walking the track
3:16
just to get outside and it's just bad.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we were talking.
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We were talking about the nachos too.
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That's that's not a bad thing though.
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Microwave nachos. The days you sit up and eat them
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on days like this, especially the weekend with the football
3:34
coming, Oh yeah, there'll be a lot of that.
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Big stuff on football weekends. This is big time in prison.
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AFCNFC championships. Play offs.
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Yes, of course. I think, you know, was a it was
3:45
a real escape for people mentally that feel like you're
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kind of normal being in. Everybody's kind of tied in.
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They've got their teams. You feel like you're normal some
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somehow that that kind of created a, a feel of being a
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part of. Especially back in the day, they
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used to bring the outside teams in and play guys so you can sit
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around and watch some real good. That is So what?
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What do you mean? Like what?
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What? How did they do that?
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Lol What'd they do? Well, they had.
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They used to have a select team of guys come from like local
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colleges or whatever and they would escort them in and play
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against our like A league teams on the with the prison, A league
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team. They have a lot of really nice,
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but it'll be a, it'll be a real good game though.
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That brings some real good guys on there.
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It's kind of like the movie The Longest Yard, where they're
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playing the prisoners are playing against the prison
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guards. Yeah, yeah, yeah, a little
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different. Kind of the same.
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Yeah, the same, same, same idea. So, Lowell, let's let everybody
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get a chance to know you a little bit.
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What? Tell us a little bit about how
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you're growing up. Siblings.
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Parents. What was little Lowell doing as
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a kid? Well, little old was the only
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child. I grew up with three sets of
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grandparents, mother and father. When my mother was around,
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father wasn't too much. So I kind of just grew up
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searching for some type of connection because I was the
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only child I was always by myself.
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And as I got older, it just turned that that little that
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loneliness turned into a curiosity for the wrong type of
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crowds. And I ended up running with the
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wrong type of crowds and those type of guys getting that false
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love and. Well, at that time period, let's
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let's talk about like what how old would you have been when you
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were thinking, I'm going to, I'm going to run with a a crowd
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that, that gets and kind of walks on the wild side.
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Would you been like a teenager? Young teenager, grade school?
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Yeah, yeah, I I was a young teen.
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I got in trouble my first stolen credit cards, just trying to
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look like look like the guys from the neighborhood that was,
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you know, really doing something.
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I didn't have to. I had my grandparents.
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They all had decent money, but I just, it was it was just a
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curiosity that I had never gotten satisfied.
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And nobody never let me know what the outcome would be if I
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was, if I went the wrong way, that being the only child kind
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of be spoiled. So they kind of just hampered me
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and I just never really understood what it was.
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Even when I got in trouble, like I went to juvenile for a couple
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weeks so I got out. But I never really got had a lot
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of trouble with with with with my grandparents.
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They kind of just pacified me. They didn't.
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Make a big deal about it when you when you got into that
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juvenile deal and then what were the guys in the neighborhood?
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Was that kind of a badge of honor deal?
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That's the that's the bad thing. The more you get in trouble, the
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more you get. You know you look upon as being
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one of those kind of guys and kind of fitting in.
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Yeah, because I didn't have to do the things to that I I chose
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to do. Some guys have to.
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They went from backgrounds and yeah, some of them don't have a
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choice, man. See, those were my guys.
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So I I I like them so much and they like me so much.
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I would do things backwards to what I was really, you know,
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possibly should have been doing to try to fit in with them guys,
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so. On the other side of the world,
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what was like school? Like, what was your school life?
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Like and the teachers that I I was one of the best students,
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all the parent teachers conference the teachers.
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Like we wish we had more kids like me, 'cause I was, I was
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with growing up with grandparents.
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You grow up with a, a, a, a different type of respect.
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I was real respectful, but on the other hand, I still had my
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my slick stuff going on. I was sneaky with it around all
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the all the all the all the say adults.
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And like, even when I was doing the credit card, I would spark
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conversation with the tellers to for them to not question me
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about whose car to see it. So I learned.
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I learned. I learned that learned that
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power conversation. Yeah, yeah, yeah, me.
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And it was just some. You know, it's it's funny that
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you say that though low, because I thought, I didn't think you
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were going there. I thought you were going to tell
8:35
me that you were having you would have had all kinds of
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trouble as a kid in school and that you you, you know, bad.
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Grades you. You actually were live in two
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different worlds. Good grades, perfect attendance.
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None. None of that.
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No. No bad rapport with any
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teachers, All that. I went back to high school some
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years back. Teachers loved us.
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I I was a class clown like Frank Joe, but I had a counselor tell
9:02
me once before. She told me that I have a charm
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in which I lead people, but I didn't know.
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She said you you can get all your work done and then you
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would start to disrupt. She said there are people that
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can either ignore it or either they join with you.
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She said you got to be careful with that.
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Now this is the same person that Lady came and saw me in.
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State, federal prison. State and federal prison.
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The teacher and this lady, I never knew my counselor.
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She was the counselor for my high school.
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She wanted me to do she. She knew what I was capable of,
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saw where I was headed and was trying her best to keep me, keep
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me straight. I think that's so cool.
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I've got a I've got my youngest daughter that's a teacher and I
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I get feedback from her, you know every so often and and you
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know these kids that come back and see her or they talk about
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that they never understood math until they got into her class.
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And just the the impact that a teacher can make if they really
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care about these kids. Is life changing.
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You know, it's it's, you know, we don't know what impact a good
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teacher has until you look back on what those people did, but
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the fact that she stayed connected to you lol is
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incredible. Incredible.
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And and that's, I love love teachers like that because so
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many of them just pass people or pass us on.
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Yeah, just to get us out of the way is.
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This and I I'm curious. I'm curious too, lol.
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Did when you were having these good grades and great attendance
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and showing up to school, did that also mean that you were
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kind of running with a different group of kids while you were in
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school and then you had your your street kids that you were
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when you were out of school? Or did it all mix in together?
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I made it all mix in together. See the the I was able to hang
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with the bad guys, but I can also do my own thing.
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I can also do my work and do. Did they make fun of you at all
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that you were serious about school?
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No, not at all. Not at all.
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A lot of them. I would help get through certain
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certain classes. So I got.
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I got different points for that and then I always hung with
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older guys. You got some respect just
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helping them out. Yeah, just hanging with them
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guys and they they they took a liking to me.
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So I as I rolled with that when I ran with that.
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So Lol lead us into the next step.
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What happens to you after you? Is it does.
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When do you start getting into things that lead you into prison
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time? So when I graduated from high
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school, up until then I I was I wasn't really in the streets,
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but I kind of was dabbling. So after high school I went
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full-fledged into the streets. I was just hanging out corners,
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selling drugs all day, every day, not trying to, not trying
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to work. But the bad part about that was,
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was if my drug operation didn't go well, then I had all my
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grandparents to fall back on like if my money was bad here.
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So I wasn't, I was, I wasn't really learning.
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But I had one grandmother. She used to she used to be upset
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with my the, the, the head grandfather, which was her
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father. She didn't like how he pacified
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me and wanted she kind of wanted me to you know hit my bust my
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butt prior to she wanted me to feel it.
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But I I never felt it. So then it just became a
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tumbling effect. It it got so bad that I was, I
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was I was getting in trouble going to jail every holiday
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before my birthday. My birthday is in December, so
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anywhere from anywhere from October to December, I was
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getting locked up. This was done for, I mean,
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years. It was like a.
13:10
It was like a habit, like a. Why would that have been that
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you were getting locked in October to December?
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See here, it's just for one When you're in the streets, those are
13:22
times that different indictments come out OK, different times
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that the police tighten up on their jobs, you know?
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But it sounds like LOL, you weren't getting hit very hard.
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No, you weren't. You don't.
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You don't, because that's yours, Dean.
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I could always fall back on. I'm a school kid.
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I made a mistake. I got so many passes with that,
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they they kicked me out. You're on probation.
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I went to every level of probation that you can go to.
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Even to the intense. I went to intense probation
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where you had to come in house with a curfew.
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This was way before they did the ankle monitors and all of that
14:02
stuff. So it on intense.
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You had to be in the house at a certain time for the rest of the
14:07
night until a certain time. And I got, I just, I just got in
14:15
a habit of wanting to feel like that's how I wanted to live and
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I didn't. I didn't have a reason.
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My grandparents even paid for me.
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They wanted me to get out of out of the area so bad.
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A lot of four or five of my guys got killed one one year and they
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rushed me to Alabama. They pay.
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I paid for me to go Alabama A&M University because those were my
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close friends and those that was, that was my that was my
14:45
lifestyle. So they was.
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You made it through that. Listen, you have to go my
14:50
granny, beg and please. So I left.
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But my granny always taught me that wherever you go and take
15:00
what's in you with you that in me hadn't got out of me.
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So. So I took that behavior to
15:08
Alabama. Same thing went there.
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I didn't get I I didn't go to prisoner, but I have some cases
15:18
pending. Came back to Saint Louis of
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course. Got locked up.
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Those cases came about and, Long story short, they ended up
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banning me from the state because they didn't want to do
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the extradition. Oh, wow.
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They banned. They banned you from Alabama?
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Yeah. They banned me from Alabama.
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Wow. Yeah.
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Wow. And and and and what a man,
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Britt. And I can honestly tell you what
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it was, was I didn't have a male figure close to me to really be
15:54
in tune with me. I had great, I had grandparents,
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I had three. Like I said, three sets of
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grandfathers with their age gap is they can't sit down and they
16:07
can give me a different level of wisdom and understanding.
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But that's what's a seed is planted.
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It's not right at the moment. My father didn't wasn't close to
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me. My uncle wasn't.
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He didn't teach me anything. He kind of just let me learn by
16:26
trial and error. But I was so adamant at trying
16:31
to do something and I wouldn't. I wouldn't give up and watch him
16:34
go so many times, so many times, so many times until I had a
16:40
probation officer and he told me my last day of my probation for
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the state. He said Mr. Luther be real,
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real, real slick and charismatic and all of that.
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He said what what you don't know is people talk about you, you
16:58
doing this and that, but you come in here and you speak well
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and you look like this, he said one day said fed the marshals.
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You know you won't get yourself for 20 years sentence you see
17:12
because you won't stop. And you think that what you're
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doing that you can do it so smoothly.
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Because I never. I didn't get my POS.
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No trouble. Any court dates I ever had.
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I ain't never skipped the bells skipped all the time.
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But they saw like they they they sense it.
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You know you think you slipped older people.
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You a good kid. But you bout to mess it up, man.
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And Brent, when I tell you I don't know how many years.
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Well about 18 months after that the Marshalls was at my door.
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Yeah, and it started. How does it?
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How does it happen? What happens?
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Well, I was. I was.
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I had a sealed indictment from some drug sales that I had made.
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So the Marshals was actually looking for me, but they didn't
18:06
know what where I was actually and what I was in.
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So I just so happened I had moved to was living in Brooklyn.
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Brooklyn IL had a rental car. I had a lady to get me a rental
18:18
car because my car was they had just repoed my truck.
18:22
So the police when they repoed my truck I asked them, I said do
18:25
I have any warrants or anything. So now you don't have nothing.
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We have a they showed me the warrant for my truck, put it on
18:34
the tow truck, took it so I wouldn't end up getting the
18:36
rental car. One morning I'm laying in a bed.
18:44
My phone rang and as my phone ringing I hear some beating on
18:50
the front door. I answer the phone, Hello, this
18:54
is a lady who I rented the car, her name.
18:58
So she's like what what you did in the car.
19:00
I said no, I didn't get nothing. She said the marshals are at the
19:02
rental place and they looking for you and they looking for the
19:05
car. So now at this time I heard the
19:08
voices from the front door. They said it's US Marshals.
19:12
We on they didn't know they would they we want to drive out
19:15
of the truck. They didn't know that that's
19:16
where I was living. We want to drive out of the
19:18
truck. We knew some come out da da, da,
19:21
da da da. They didn't know nobody was in
19:23
the house. So I'm laying and crawling
19:26
around and I can see the images, whatever.
19:30
So as I'm sitting there I'm trying to be cool and I'm
19:35
thinking, OK, well I'll sit there for a minute.
19:37
I think, well, maybe they gone and a couple days prior to I
19:40
missed the lock up on the door. But anyway, I moved the door
19:43
about half. Oh, and I tell you, Brett, that
19:45
was it. They came in.
19:47
That was it. Told my house.
19:51
Took me off. Yeah, took me off.
19:53
Now I'm going through this federal process.
19:57
Saint Clair County Jail. And they don't play.
20:00
Around on the federal side. No, no, it they they they
20:05
respect you different because they I guess they figured you
20:08
got a lot of time to deal with but I mean just the same Clark
20:12
County period this is that's just a rough spot.
20:15
Yeah. How long were you?
20:17
How long, How long did you go through that until you got
20:21
sentenced low that? Was about nine months.
20:25
Yeah, 'cause I had AI had a partner that had went through
20:28
the federal system before and he was like, man, load top out.
20:33
I don't even play with these people, so don't be.
20:36
It's not a it's not like the state where you sit around and
20:38
they can lower your sins or whatever you say, right?
20:41
Or do that make make sense? Get about her?
20:45
So what? What did you get?
20:48
I got 10 years, 120 months, 120 months, 120 months, 120 months.
20:54
And when I found out whether when I, you know reread your
20:59
paperwork when they added up all the Grams Brent I might have had
21:05
maybe 7G that was that was sold to an undercover.
21:11
Wasn't it wasn't wasn't wasn't nothing.
21:15
Nothing huge at all right. I made a few studios to
21:18
Undercover and they they and they added that all up.
21:24
So hundred 120 bucks, where did you where did you go?
21:28
I went to I went to Pekin. Pekin IL, yeah.
21:34
But but the crazy part was when I my, I mean, I'm in Illinois
21:39
already. I was since in Illinois, but
21:43
this they had to put me on an airlift just to go to Pekin and
21:47
when I tell you so you had to. Go through what, Oklahoma?
21:52
I had to go through Oklahoma. Then I went and flew to
21:56
Michigan. I did a world tour just to go
21:58
back to the. Law there.
22:01
I mean, I I've interviewed so many different people.
22:03
There is absolutely nothing good about traveling as a prisoner.
22:09
I mean there, there is no upside whatsoever.
22:12
Hey, if they knew that you shackled, yes, hands and feet
22:17
and it don't matter what number of the bathroom you got to do
22:20
they not taking them shackles off.
22:22
You can got to do 1-2 or three. You're going to be shackled
22:26
until the duration of the flight and and but that wasn't.
22:29
And I think the other thing is, is that the, the, the shackling
22:32
is such a mental degradation. I mean, you feel like an animal
22:38
when they they just when you've got it to your to your ankles,
22:42
to your waist and and hands to your waist, it feels it, it it
22:46
there's you feel about as low as you can feel about how you're
22:50
being transported. When you see and a person sees
22:55
Oklahoma City and understand what Oklahoma City is, that it's
22:59
a prison that's built. Well, explain a little bit, lo
23:02
explain a little bit. Walk somebody through that.
23:05
Well, Oklahoma, Oklahoma City is where they trans.
23:10
It's a it's a transfer center where it's thousands of inmates
23:14
just waiting to be transferred all over the country and.
23:17
It's right there, so at the Oklahoma airport.
23:20
Right, it's broken. Even they have an airlift in the
23:26
airlifts in Oklahoma is different.
23:28
But like people will never see Oklahoma.
23:31
They will never see that place. Even though no matter how close
23:34
it is to the airport, you will never see, you will never see a
23:37
airlift. You will never see the inmates.
23:39
You'll never see the transactions.
23:41
And I'll always tell people to keep in mind of like a con air,
23:45
but without all the extras on the plane, the security
23:49
perimeter around the airport. Yeah, that's serious, those
23:53
trucks. Yes, that's serious.
23:55
Well, Oklahoma is. Just imagine you getting off a
24:00
plane, you going in a terminal, and when you go through the
24:03
terminal, that's the prison. Your feet never touch the
24:07
ground, as they say. So when you walk, everybody
24:12
shackled, and you walk up to what it looks like, there's a
24:14
roadblock of US Marshals. It might be a hall, it might be
24:18
a ten of them. And they all got little wooden
24:21
boxes in front of them. So the wooden boxes are for you
24:24
to put each foot up so they can unhook your shackles at your
24:27
ankles and then they unhook your shackles at your wrist.
24:31
And then you proceed to these different, what would I call
24:37
them like storage rooms, big huge storage rooms where herds
24:41
of people go in to go to different different sections of
24:48
this process. Before you can go upstairs, you
24:52
have to do a medical check. They have to worry.
24:55
Of people that they're processing.
24:58
It's like a warehouse of animal. That's, that's that's that's
25:00
what it looks. And you go from, yeah, cattle.
25:03
And you go from 1:00 room to the next, from 1:00 room to the
25:07
next. But here's the thing.
25:09
If there's 200 people that just got off the plane, no one can
25:13
move from the room until each 200 person is in there.
25:17
They don't. They don't let you go to keep
25:19
the room empty. No, they let the room pile up.
25:22
Might let you sit there a while and then they'll start to take,
25:25
they'll process this. Now, this is before you go
25:27
upstairs to go to use the phone to go to sleep or whatever,
25:31
right. And that's another that's.
25:34
And you know, some people can be there for a few hours and some
25:37
people are there for months. Definitely months, just
25:40
depending on where you going and depends they because they take
25:43
you places according to numbers, you have to have a certain
25:46
amount of people going to this institution for you to go.
25:49
You just can't. And that's just going to take
25:52
one person. It's got, I don't know the
25:55
triggering number, but it has to be more than one person.
25:58
Yeah, you can sit there for some months.
26:00
So low. How long did it take you to get
26:02
to where where you're supposed to go to Pekin?
26:05
So it didn't. It didn't take me long for
26:07
Pekin. I think I was there.
26:08
Just I went through Oklahoma one night and it was, we was out the
26:13
next morning. And when I got the peek, and it
26:19
was, I knew, I knew a few people already.
26:22
And federal institutions are, they're kind of misguided
26:27
because they look nice. You always have the trees out
26:31
front. You know what, Pekin, Pekin and
26:35
Greenville, they both are identical.
26:37
They look just the same. So it looks, it looks real nice
26:41
and but you know it, it's a different, it's a different
26:44
lifestyle on the other side, other on other side of those
26:47
gates and fences. So how did as far as your
26:50
mindset going in Lowell, you know you've got 120 months.
26:57
You know you finally get to where you know you're gonna be.
27:02
What are you thinking? What's going through your mind?
27:06
I still. I still haven't.
27:09
I still hadn't grabbed it yet. I still, because I wasn't.
27:13
I was so used to just doing the short state bits and going home
27:17
and here. Then again like I said by this
27:21
time all of my grandparents had kind of passed away.
27:27
Most of the ones who wanted to see me grow up and I get out of
27:31
trouble. Yeah.
27:32
Yeah, most of them have passed away but I still had a few main
27:36
grandmother and I had a few. So it was it was it was it was
27:43
hard to Justin to just and I remember I was I was.
27:49
I got when I got locked up the the Y2K era and I remember I
27:55
called my brain and I said Mama ain't gonna never see that no
27:57
more. Y2K don't wipe out all the
28:01
computers and everybody gonna be dead.
28:02
She said all boys shut up. He said.
28:05
All boys shit. Well, you know that.
28:07
That's funny. You bring that up though.
28:09
That was a big deal at the time. I was.
28:12
Terrified. Everybody was worried about it.
28:15
I didn't think I was going. To turn in the 21st century,
28:17
everything was gonna crash. And so from state to Oklahoma
28:24
City to see, I've never been around that many different
28:29
nationalities. And of people I never thought
28:33
other nationalities got in trouble like me.
28:36
So I'm like, wow, I'm in yeah, I'm in some big stuff.
28:42
But then I see people that they treat a certain way like people
28:47
with the black boxes. And I'm, I'm, I watch
28:50
everything. I'm a people watch.
28:51
I watch everything, something what's going on with him?
28:56
And you later find out. But Pekin was.
29:01
It was, it was. It wasn't.
29:02
It wasn't bad as a couple of spots I went to 'cause it was,
29:05
it was real mellow. I knew a lot of lot of guys
29:08
there, and I got to. I programmed a lot.
29:13
That's that's the only thing that really kept me from getting
29:18
in a lot of trouble and keeping me same to them places.
29:23
Oh yeah, yeah, Boredom of of just knowing that you have time
29:27
and then how do you eat that time?
29:28
Because everybody does it differently.
29:31
So I'm curious, Lowe, did you get into cutting hair and being
29:37
trained to cut hair and all that at Pekin, or did that come
29:40
later? They came later because Pekin
29:43
didn't offer the program, OK. But back when I was in the in
29:48
the system, they had what they call educational transfers.
29:52
So if one institution didn't offer a program that you wanted
29:57
to take and you had 18 months to conduct, they will put in for
30:03
you to transfer. So I have been in Pekin Little
30:08
over 18 months, about almost two years.
30:11
But Pekin Pekin was full of all my homeboys and they was gang
30:15
banging. So I'm like man, I don't want to
30:18
get caught in this. I was.
30:20
I've already got a lot of time and I ain't, I ain't built for
30:23
this. I want to go and I wanted to
30:25
keep programming where I was in Peking, they had just basic
30:32
educational programs. They had teachers from the
30:35
Community College to come in and teach them out from a different,
30:39
different stuff like that. A lot of people, a lot of places
30:42
don't have that. Yeah, but I don't think they do
30:45
it anymore. I think all that outside
30:46
contracting, they started doing it in the federal.
30:49
Yeah, they stopped that. But I put in and I asked my
30:53
counselor if I could go or whatever and he came back to me
30:56
and said he asked me again. He said, do you still want to go
30:59
to have a spot for open? So I I ran to the phone and I
31:03
called my grandmother and I asked her, I said, Mama, can I
31:06
go to Pennsylvania? I said it's like 1000 -, 1415
31:10
hours away. And my grandmother was like,
31:13
wherever you go, I'm going to come see you.
31:16
So not not then I that was. I ain't called my mom.
31:20
I called my granny. Granny was my my headhuncher.
31:23
So yeah, it's everything in life.
31:26
So when I called her and she gave me the green light gold, I
31:30
put in and I went, Yeah. And I went.
31:33
And I didn't initially get in the Barber program because it
31:37
was so full. But they had several other
31:39
programs. They had building trades,
31:43
culinary arts, barbering, and they had hydroponics.
31:49
OK, so of course I'll go. And I'm still criminally minded.
31:52
I'm around all these federal grass and I gotta up my federal
31:56
activities. So I got it.
31:59
I'm gonna learn how to grow weed.
32:03
Take the hydroponics class and. Figure it out.
32:06
Back then you know, I'm. I just ain't let it go yet.
32:10
Alright, man. See, these are the first years
32:13
of prison. So you still, you still trying
32:17
to figure it out? You still, I ain't let go of the
32:19
streets yet. I'm still trying to make this
32:22
transition. So I I I think I want to be this
32:27
when I get out. So I'm taking this hydroponics
32:31
class trying to figure out how to grow weed.
32:34
And the guy was teaching me back then.
32:36
They didn't have to grow boxes and all this fancy stuff they
32:39
got now. He said, man, yeah, so in order
32:41
to make this work, you gonna have to catch the power before
32:46
it goes to the meter box when black people don't mess with
32:52
electricity, Right. So I'm looking, I said, I said
32:56
what you mean? He said no.
32:58
Before the electricity goes to the power, you have to find the
33:02
cord, tap into it. That's how they would.
33:03
Then when they was doing it, going illegally, then I said,
33:07
you know what? It came up.
33:09
I said, Nah, I'm cool. I don't.
33:11
I don't want to do that. That killed my excitement.
33:15
So I tried some other I was getting some magazines.
33:19
I wanted to try to be a computer hack.
33:21
I got a few magazines and through this company called Noon
33:24
Ponics or whatever, and it was illegal magazines.
33:29
But however I got them out, I just kept trying to get them.
33:32
So anyway, one day I didn't get an order of books.
33:34
I went to the ward. I said losing child.
33:37
I said, Warden, I I ordered some books and I ain't keep not
33:41
allowing me to get them food out of the pad.
33:45
So what's your name? Gave my name a number.
33:48
He said. Oh yeah, those books you've been
33:50
ordering those or against da, da, da, da.
33:52
It's a matter of fact. If you try to order some more
33:55
I'm you know, basically let me know.
33:57
That would be the end of that, yeah, I said.
34:01
OK, so we'll find something else.
34:03
And by that time, the barbering, barbering school came open and I
34:09
got in the program. So, you know, and and I I think
34:13
for those who are listening, that is something that is
34:17
important in the prison world. You know it.
34:20
It's kind of hard to explain because obviously when you're on
34:24
the outside, you just go get your haircut or you, you know,
34:27
women get their hair done, whatever.
34:30
When you're in prison, that's one of those things that it's
34:33
almost like a luxury privilege to be able to get your haircut
34:37
and if you got somebody that does a good job it's almost like
34:42
you've you've beat the system that you're actually getting
34:45
your hair cut in prison and and you you're looking good.
34:47
It's it's it's hard to to kind of put that into an analogy of
34:52
whatever that is but it's a big deal for people who actually are
34:56
are at the barbers in prison they they walk with a certain
35:00
respect with the prison population I think.
35:05
A Barber in prison is one of the best positions to be in if you
35:11
have to go in prison, especially federal prison.
35:15
If you're a Barber in federal prison, you're OK.
35:18
They don't have to Barber schools no more. 9/11 canceled
35:22
all the school, so you won't get, you won't get that
35:24
education no more. But some people will still be
35:29
able to get that practice. Maybe it's if you can get in the
35:33
shop sometimes. I know me and my crew, we ran
35:37
the shop in Pennsylvania. We ran it for.
35:39
I was up there eight years. We ran the shop for at least
35:43
three or four years after after 911 because we had built A-Team
35:49
through the course of the the program.
35:51
And then I mean like how many as far as on a on a regular day,
35:58
like how many people would you see to to to cut hair?
36:04
Oh my goodness, we have, you'll have maybe 100.
36:09
That's. A lot. 100 guys, yeah, because
36:12
where we were in where I wasn't peeking the the the Barber shop
36:21
was in the rec area. OK.
36:24
Yeah. So and it was.
36:26
It was. It was a it was no.
36:28
This was in, this is up in Pennsylvania in McCain.
36:32
This is up in up in McCain. The wreck was in the barbershop
36:36
was in the rec area. So even when guys went to wreck,
36:39
the barbershop was a hangout. But they come and do their
36:42
tickets, they come and just every all the information come
36:46
through the barbershop would ever go on on the yard, every
36:50
Barber. At the barbershop.
36:52
You have to. You have to know.
36:54
And I and I came in as an underdog under my other Barber
36:59
Bros because I had guys from Cleveland, OH, New York,
37:06
Detroit, and these guys were all familiar with the trade.
37:10
But I wasn't. And over the course of time, I
37:15
end up being the top Barber. It's a good gig.
37:19
It's a good hustle in prison. I love it.
37:23
I I love the fact that I can make, if you could please, a guy
37:27
in prison and you making cool. I don't know, funny shit, a
37:32
haircut. When I saw what I did to those
37:36
guys with haircuts, two things changed my perception of the
37:41
barbering and imprison. One, I was still rebellious
37:47
against Order and his lifestyle because I was.
37:53
This was in the first three years of my incarceration, so I
37:57
still got this bitterness So me and the instructor would we
38:01
would go at it. She's an older judge.
38:04
Judy sharp at the tongue. No nonsense.
38:07
Late. Yes, keep you in line.
38:10
And I'm still trying to fight back and be rebellious.
38:15
And she said OK, took me to the what we call the principal's
38:20
office was the head education education.
38:22
Run the Barber shop. So education, Miss Newsom, we
38:27
got a line of people that want to be in the barbershop.
38:29
We got one more time to cut up. Get out of there.
38:33
So, OK, let me calm down. And my guys around me and I was
38:36
like, man, look, you need this. Calm down.
38:39
OK, Second thing, I was cutting a guy's hair.
38:44
This is after I've been cutting for a little while and I picked
38:47
up a lot of tips from the other guys and tricks and I'm doing my
38:51
own thing. I got my own name going.
38:54
So one of the guys I cut over the guy her and he's doing
38:58
prison. I think he might been down 20
39:00
years or whatever after I cut his hair.
39:03
He said Youngblood, you don't have no reason to come back no
39:08
more. He said, well, what you just did
39:11
and a little bit of stamps, we might have all been charged on
39:14
strip of stamps or a book of stamps at the most, he said you
39:18
did all that for that. He said, Man, you ain't got no
39:20
reason to ever come back. And I I took that to heart.
39:24
And for those, we're talking about stamps, that's how
39:26
everybody gets paid in in prison when they're doing their hustle,
39:29
so. Stamps.
39:30
Stamps. Go a long ways.
39:32
It's because you don't have money.
39:33
So stamps. Stamps is your currency.
39:37
You have your currency or your food, the macros or your tuna
39:40
ones or whatever, But yeah, it's and and that's.
39:44
The guys that cut here had a lot of stamps a.
39:47
Lot of stamps. A lot of food.
39:49
A lot of food. Yeah.
39:50
Yeah. So yeah, we I didn't have a
39:53
power on. My new well, I remember I I got
39:56
my hair cut by Bob and and at Leavenworth and what I I worked
40:02
over at the Leavenworth golf course and so the way we got
40:07
paid was is it $10 a day they would order our lunch over at
40:11
the bowling alley. So they made these really good
40:13
cheeseburgers. So, Bob.
40:17
You know, whenever he cut my hair, that's how he got paid.
40:19
He wanted the double cheeseburger with everything on
40:21
it and I would smuggle that back in there so you'd get paid.
40:25
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we we, I had a laundry
40:28
guy. I cut his hair so many times a
40:30
month. He did my laundry.
40:32
Sure. Yeah.
40:33
Best bargaining position you can be?
40:36
In there. So, so low when you get, so
40:39
you're going along here and you've now you're trained.
40:41
I mean you're the guys are liking what you're doing.
40:44
You've got it. You basically got yourself a
40:48
good job in prison, which is a big deal because it eats up your
40:50
time as you start getting close to the door thinking about, you
40:56
know, I don't know how many years it's been at this point.
40:59
Are you thinking, OK, I I've got something when I get out, this
41:04
is what I'm going to do. Or were you thinking this was
41:07
just a pass by and whatever you're going to do when you get
41:10
out, it's not going to have anything to do with cutting
41:11
hair? OK so at this point in time
41:15
Brent, I didn't ran out of all. I'm exhausted.
41:18
All my other bullshit remedies pretty much so I'm this is what
41:22
I have. This is all I have because I
41:26
everywhere I go I make people love what I'm doing and.
41:30
You're getting feedback from that makes you feel good.
41:33
Makes you feel good because those guys are the those are
41:36
the, you know they and you don't want to give a bad haircut.
41:38
In prison to a bad guy. It's rough.
41:40
It's rough to make them like you like that.
41:43
You know, like I was cutting, I was cutting cities like my
41:48
Pittsburgh. I have Pittsburgh guys.
41:50
When anybody came in from Pittsburgh, I was the Pittsburgh
41:54
boy and I wasn't from Pittsburgh so and then I would had a lot of
41:59
Detroit. I mean, and these guys is coming
42:01
in new every week, every. So I had got accustomed to every
42:09
type of hairstyle. That's the advantage that that
42:11
Barber school gave me. I got accustomed to cutting
42:15
every type of hairstyle and even back when my instructor was
42:19
there, she wouldn't allow us just to cut what she called.
42:22
You can't just cut your homeboys.
42:25
She made us practice the sheer. Work.
42:28
Which I think, yeah, which I thank her for because it's a lot
42:32
of people that's comfortable in just whatever lane that they're
42:36
in. If they only cut African
42:38
American hair that's they stick to some crossover.
42:42
Ones that crossover and are diverse.
42:45
They see a different level of money.
42:48
I didn't I didn't understand it when she was teaching me.
42:51
I thought she was just being a butthole and just want to make
42:54
me do some. I don't want to do, hey, making
42:57
it hard. But when I thank her to this day
43:00
for that, because when I came home I was in the half of a
43:03
house. Of course I'm I'm, I'm, I'm
43:07
stuck on cutting hair, Stuck on cutting hair.
43:11
The half of the house didn't want to allow me to cut hair.
43:13
It was a Barber shop up the street.
43:16
Well, it was a Barber school, so they wouldn't let me cut hair.
43:22
So I talked to the instructors. The instructors saw the hours
43:26
that I had accumulated in prison, so they gave me a semi
43:30
instructor's position. OK.
43:33
So with that instructor's position, OK, then I'll back up
43:38
just a little bit. When I was released from prison,
43:40
the federal federal prison gave me a certificate from the
43:45
Department of Labor. It's a Barber.
43:48
Certificate Barber of Trade. Only, yes, but that only exists
43:55
in the BOP prison, in the BOP. So when I came home and I showed
43:59
that no school I had 5000 hours, 5000 and and our instructor was
44:09
before 911. These the hours that I
44:11
accumulated 5000 but being that she was an instructor for that
44:17
region we couldn't get those hours because we weren't
44:21
residents of Pennsylvania. So those hours never went to any
44:25
state board. They just it was her
44:29
documentation within the BOP and then when they let her go we
44:34
couldn't make any arrangements for for a state board exam or
44:38
anything. So those was just 5000 hours
44:42
since I had the experience. Lost in the deal, but you've
44:44
created all this hours of experience of cutting hair.
44:48
Yeah, yeah. It was lost towards all of that.
44:51
So they sent us out with that and went, like I said, the
44:57
schools. Nobody accepted it.
45:00
So when I went to do this barbering instructor with this,
45:07
with this schooling, they were going to put me in a position
45:11
where I could get the hours to take the state board.
45:13
And this was in Tennessee at the time.
45:14
When I was at least, I went to Chattanooga.
45:16
TN. My mom was my mom was living in
45:20
in Georgia. She wanted me to come close, to
45:23
be closer to her. Yeah, Chattanooga was nice.
45:26
Didn't want me to get back to my familiar grounds.
45:29
OK, so going to this Barber school, getting my hours,
45:34
whatever. And Brent, I go one day and I
45:37
got to catch the bus from the halfway house.
45:39
And at the halfway house, whenever you go from A to B,
45:43
when you get to B, you have to call and let them know I'm here.
45:47
Such and such. Brent One day I went and the
45:51
parking lot was a little more crowded than normal so looking
45:58
around and I go in the building I walk into a a a a raid.
46:04
The Barber instructor, the guy that owned it had been using
46:10
some of those guys some of the students Social Security number
46:16
and doing some type of loan so and he I had no clue of nothing
46:23
so I walk in from the halfway house into a a raid which.
46:28
Freaks you out because you don't want to be around anything at
46:31
all when you're in the halfway house.
46:32
It has anything to do with the legal world.
46:35
Can't be you. Can't be you.
46:37
Can't be. The first thing I my stomach hit
46:40
the ground like, oh, I'm about to get in trouble.
46:42
So the Marshall's asking me who I am and this, that and another.
46:46
I tell them. I say, listen man, please, I
46:49
have to call the halfway house. Please call and tell them I
46:53
don't have anything to do with anything and let them know I'm
46:56
here. So of course they said, OK, you
47:00
go through that process and then when it's done, get back.
47:03
So when I come back, that job terminated of course because the
47:07
whole operation. Was gone.
47:10
Right, so that whole thing went away.
47:11
So anyway, I had to get AI. Don't know.
47:15
I got another job doing something somewhere and until I
47:19
got out on when I was released from the halfway house.
47:23
Then I went to supervisor. Release right, go through the
47:27
same trouble with my supervisor release officer.
47:30
She got a conflict about me working in Barber shops and she
47:34
don't think it's a good fit. You should get a better job.
47:38
OK, so well, is she saying that because she thinks that bad
47:43
things happen at a Barber shop because of all the talk?
47:46
Is that what you're saying? Even though, even though that's
47:49
a job trade of yours, she doesn't think it's good just
47:52
because she thinks people talk shop in there, OK?
47:56
Think it's going to trigger some bad behavior in me or whatever
47:59
this is before I started? Yeah, I gotta look.
48:02
She has a reason later on, but not not initially.
48:06
So I end up getting a job. So I convinced her I get a job.
48:13
I'm in Dalton, GA, my pro office.
48:16
I think out of Rome, GA and I thought, I get introduced to
48:21
this new exotic weed and it's just that's my weakness.
48:25
So we go through the me back. I'm smoking.
48:30
I'm giving dirty urines no trouble.
48:33
But she's highly furious about The Dirty urine.
48:37
For one she can't get a a good revocation because I was
48:44
sentenced out of Illinois but I'm here now in Tennessee.
48:48
So the judge in Illinois wasn't really honoring none of the
48:52
revocation she was required. So I go through this process.
48:55
We go back and forth, back and forth, dirty yards.
48:58
Then one minute she tell me, OK, you got to stop cutting in the
49:01
barbershop. Now this is I have put in for my
49:07
barber's barber's license in Georgia to start a a what they
49:13
call apprenticeship program up under a Barber I'm working in.
49:17
So I submit, I submitted the application to Barber state
49:21
board and I'm just waiting on a response.
49:25
So now in the process of that I come up with another dirty she
49:31
said look you can't go on you can't work at the Barber shop.
49:36
I'm putting you in for to revert your work, revoke your parole,
49:41
and I'm going to try to get you sent back, blah, blah, blah.
49:44
So I'm pretty much grounded. So I get paperwork back about my
49:48
appeal. And I ask her, Miss Shields, can
49:52
I go and do this? This.
49:54
I mean, I know you don't like Barbara, but this is a good
49:57
thing on my job. She said no, you can't go
50:01
nowhere and you know you can't go out of a 50 mile radius.
50:05
So I had to go from Chattanooga to Macon, GA is out of 50 miles.
50:11
So I'd already had a a a hearing coming up and I decided I said,
50:17
well, I'm gonna go either way. If I'm gonna lose, I'm gonna
50:19
lose. I'm gonna lose their way, right.
50:20
I might as. Well, try to get the license.
50:23
Yeah, I might as well. I'm gonna try.
50:25
So I end up going down having a hearing.
50:30
Four different guys from the Barber State, Atlanta Barber
50:35
State Board kind of questioned my background and questioned the
50:38
reason. But first they denied my
50:42
application and this was an appeal process.
50:45
So I appealed it and when they they they wanted to talk to me
50:49
face to face, I had to have like maybe four or five.
50:53
Which isn't, I mean, and low the reason I wanted you to tell the
50:56
story. None of what you're saying is
50:58
uncommon. When somebody has a felony
51:01
record and they try to get licensed with the state, it's
51:04
almost impossible. You don't just go through you
51:07
have to take three or four steps and prove your case of who I am,
51:12
why I need this license And and I don't think a lot of people
51:16
know that like something like being a Barber.
51:19
You were totally absolutely qualified to be a Barber.
51:23
But to get a license from the state, that felony record care,
51:26
it's it doesn't stop when you get out of prison.
51:29
It's a lifetime thing. So you have to fight your way to
51:32
get something that you already are qualified to do.
51:36
So anyway, I just don't want to interrupt you there.
51:38
But that's something that that people say, well, why does
51:41
everybody have such a hard time getting back into, you know,
51:44
getting out, you know, prison? Well, that's one thing like you
51:47
are actually qualified to do this job.
51:48
You got to have a license for it.
51:51
It's it's their process of deterring you back to your old
51:54
ways. They don't make money if you
51:55
don't go back. So if they don't get people to
51:58
go back, you don't make any money.
52:00
They won't make no more money off me.
52:01
I told him that and I left you that.
52:03
Oh, what you made off me. That was it.
52:06
So with that, I I just. I just threw all my cards on the
52:10
table. I said, well, I'm gonna go and
52:12
I'm gonna see what happened and I'm gonna let them determine my
52:15
fate with it. So I was able to talk to them.
52:18
They wanted to make sure that I wasn't the person who they were
52:21
reading off paper. They were reading something from
52:25
a person years ago, not the person that was sitting in front
52:30
of. But they they wanted to hear it
52:32
from me. So after the process, it may
52:35
have been the hour or so, whatever, they let me know.
52:39
OK, we'll notify you by mail. They didn't give me any idea of
52:42
which way that they could possibly go with it.
52:44
So now I have to deal with the with my hearing.
52:49
I go for my hearing. The judge ends up sentencing me
52:53
to just a flat year. So with a flat year, I have to
52:59
do the whole 365. If he would have sent me to here
53:06
in a day, then I would have had to do months, yeah.
53:11
And then I could have been supervised released for the rest
53:13
or whatever. But he told me, said Mr. Newsom,
53:16
You've been just smoking weed and I didn't get in any troubles
53:20
or whatever, he said. So after we do this year, you
53:22
done? OK, so now that's a hard pill to
53:26
swallow because now I have to go back into the system to do a
53:30
year. And The thing is, when I was,
53:34
when I just got to, matter of fact, I was in Atlanta, I was in
53:38
Atlanta. Atlanta USP.
53:41
Yes, Sir. Yes, that's the best news that I
53:44
got in a place like that, man. My fault, Brett, that place is.
53:48
That place is. That place was rough, this when
53:50
I pulled up, when I pulled up to that place, when I saw that
53:55
wall, I had asked the guard. I said, man, you showed my
53:59
paperwork, right? Am I at the right place you?
54:04
Ain't never. Seen a lot?
54:08
If you ain't ever seen a 40 foot wall, Oh my God that was the
54:14
most that was that was that was scary.
54:18
That was scary and plus we was when you're in transit, you're
54:23
not in Maine pop but you're in population transit and it was so
54:29
packed that we was in a a back hallway.
54:34
Anyway, the best news I could have got called my girlfriend.
54:38
She said you got a letter from the Atlanta State board.
54:40
She opened it. They approved, granted me my,
54:45
granted me my apprenticeship it. Was worth it.
54:49
It was only worth it for a short period of time because now I had
54:52
to go through the year. So now when I get out, I went
54:56
out to find out that the shop that I was working before I went
55:00
and held my spot where this Barber license was expired.
55:08
So again, my license that my, my, my my road to that another
55:16
obstacle. It was like I I like man man, I
55:22
wanted to give up. I end up think me and the lady,
55:28
I was still cutting just to just to make it.
55:32
Me and the lady end up separating so I end up moving
55:35
back to Saint Louis. We moved back to Saint Louis.
55:42
I was just cutting. I wasn't really.
55:44
I kind of lost a little feel for it.
55:47
Went through construction program class.
55:58
Some guy told me about a Barber College in Saint Louis and I
56:01
said you know what I'm just I'm going to go try and up signing
56:06
up. I was taking care of my aunt at
56:09
the time. That's a little that's a long
56:12
little story with that. But I was able to go full time
56:16
complete finally to complete my Barber program and I was I was
56:22
able to get license in 2015 that was that was my first time I got
56:27
I was that was my license like I made it.
56:29
I finally got license. I didn't want to go that far and
56:35
not not go the whole way because a lot of guys I was going to
56:40
school with, they would go to school and at the end that they
56:43
would miss the state board. They wouldn't take the state
56:45
board, so they would have all this knowledge, but they
56:47
wouldn't go and get the certificate.
56:48
Take. The final step.
56:50
And even they wouldn't take the final step even when I completed
56:54
it. I missed the state board taste
56:57
because I want to get it out of the way right away.
56:59
I missed the state board test by one day here in Saint Louis, so
57:03
I had to drive. I signed up for Jeff City.
57:06
I had to drive 2 hours to Jeff City because I wanted to take
57:09
the tent. I wanted to get it out of the
57:10
way. I had passed the practical.
57:13
I got a got a nice score on a practical.
57:15
So now I'm going to do the the mop man Brian I went to do to my
57:22
job the haircut and I'm the only one in there.
57:28
Everybody in the previous years talk about how nervous you are
57:32
because the instructors don't have anything else to do but
57:34
watch it, right? They're just.
57:35
Watching, right? So if you do anything wrong,
57:39
it's it's it's it's thorough on sanitation and this.
57:43
Then the other came out on top. I made it and that and that.
57:50
That. That made it.
57:51
That made it worth it. That made it.
57:53
That made it worth it. Even with the hurdle of taking
57:57
care of my aunt in the process, she passed before I made it to
58:03
that final step. But it was her spirit that
58:06
pushed me the rest of the way. Let me alone.
58:09
And from that I I I consider myself one of the most
58:14
passionate barbers that you'll ever meet.
58:16
Because I come from a place out of the pits that I made light of
58:24
and I and and with with coming from a place like that with that
58:29
confidence. Right after COVID, right after
58:32
COVID, I moved to Miami. Me and my son, I don't have any
58:35
family down. I don't know nobody.
58:38
I went down there and visited one time and I I can already cut
58:42
everything. And I I told myself, if you can
58:46
go to prison and survive them ten years, 11 years with the
58:51
with the worst people that the country considers the worst
58:56
people in the world, you cool with them.
58:59
I can move anywhere. I can move anywhere.
59:02
My spirit carries me anywhere. And the trade, the ability to
59:07
service anywhere. I didn't came across many people
59:10
anywhere. I can go to anywhere, any
59:12
country if I don't even have to really speak the language.
59:16
I know just enough from what I've the people and places I've
59:21
been. I can identify with just certain
59:24
just a little bit. But it's the confidence that
59:27
comes from that that type of bad place.
59:31
Well, I think, I think it's a couple of different things,
59:33
though low because as you're telling your story, each and
59:37
every time you got blocked down, you got knocked down, got
59:41
knocked to the side, They even sent you back a year, but you
59:45
didn't quit. You know, each and every time
59:47
the you know whether you were in the halfway house and the place
59:51
gets raided or whether you go back to Atlanta and the guy who
59:54
doesn't have his barber's life, all those things.
59:57
You could have made a complete U-turn and and said you were a
1:00:00
victim and rolled up in a fetal position, but you actually kept
1:00:04
with it. And now you're at a point where
1:00:09
you're creating your own world, your own business, and it's a
1:00:13
success story. And that's what I love about
1:00:16
stories like this, is that Nightmare's success isn't easy.
1:00:21
Success in getting out and re entry and trying to make your
1:00:25
way has a lot of different things that knock you sideways
1:00:29
and knock you down and you have to have whatever that is low
1:00:34
that you have in your DNA whatever that grit is to say no,
1:00:37
I'm not. They're not getting me.
1:00:39
I'm I'm not quitting. I'm getting, I'm getting this
1:00:42
and that's. I think this.
1:00:43
The truth and the authenticity of your story is, is man, it's
1:00:48
not pretty. What you had to go through and
1:00:51
what you did, man, that's not it wasn't easy, wasn't pretty, got
1:00:54
ugly, but you walked out of it. I think that's cool.
1:01:01
I think that's cool if you go ahead, lol.
1:01:05
Just. Just just, I guess it's a say a
1:01:12
upbringing or like you say, my DNA is just, I didn't want to
1:01:18
settle for when I saw stuff in their breath.
1:01:21
I didn't want to. I don't want to live like that.
1:01:23
I don't want to die. Yeah.
1:01:26
Yeah. I push myself to the it's no
1:01:29
option when some people because by human nature we go back to
1:01:35
what we feel most comfortable doing in troubling times.
1:01:39
It's a comfort zone and so many times it was so easy to try to
1:01:43
go back to do something negative in these in these little grace
1:01:49
periods of time when I was wasn't doing so well.
1:01:53
But my grandmother told me one thing years ago that still
1:01:55
sticks for me today. Even when I was going through
1:01:57
all of those hurdles and trying to trying my best to be this
1:02:03
hell of a street criminal. My grandmama said I pray for she
1:02:06
said I pray for you too hard, since I prayed too hard for you
1:02:11
to do good so you'll never be good at doing it.
1:02:14
And after a while after you know after a few bumps of bruises,
1:02:17
feel like OK, well maybe I need to try something out And I and I
1:02:22
just I wasn't going to allow anyone because because I I fell
1:02:26
in love with the art of Barbara. It's their.
1:02:31
And you're good at it. And you get a you get great
1:02:33
feedback from it which also gives you confidence to keep
1:02:35
doing what you're doing because it's it's your thing the I the
1:02:39
other thing I didn't want to skirt over LOL is you mentioned
1:02:41
that your son and you and your son went down to Miami.
1:02:45
So you're close to your son, is that are you guys together part
1:02:49
of your? World.
1:02:50
Yeah. Yeah.
1:02:51
He I have full custody of him. That's awesome.
1:02:53
We went down around when I was when I was 5.
1:02:55
And I I mean, yeah, we we go together.
1:02:59
We roll everywhere together. That's great.
1:03:00
He been waving through my UPS and my downs and yeah, he my
1:03:04
that's my motivation right there.
1:03:06
I love that. Yeah.
1:03:06
He keep me going. Yeah his his voice is all I need
1:03:11
for validation that's at A at anything in the world is his
1:03:16
voice and his facial expression checks my validation box.
1:03:21
As long as I keep them together and you know it's it's it's
1:03:25
tough it's not anything easy and sometime I get caught up in I.
1:03:31
Like I said, I grew up with grandparents, so I was able to
1:03:36
get my cohorts, hit the light hold on.
1:03:40
So I was able to so I was able to.
1:03:46
I was able to get wounds from different angles and sometimes
1:03:53
when I be talking to him, I have to talk from father,
1:03:57
grandfather, uncle. I had to switch from so many
1:04:02
different, so I have to switch different characters in in
1:04:10
raising them. And then the times have changed
1:04:12
from now. It's like I don't.
1:04:13
I don't want him to ever experience anything I went
1:04:16
through. That's right.
1:04:17
Yeah. And I I didn't have to go
1:04:19
through what I went through, but it was just that curiosity,
1:04:21
right? It it it's that curiosity is a
1:04:26
that thing can grow out of character if you allow it,
1:04:30
right. And so many different
1:04:32
distractions up to date put these different curiosities in
1:04:39
kids heads and I try my best to stay on top of them and show
1:04:42
them a different way of life. I didn't come up in a bad house
1:04:47
or alcohol abuse or anything. It was just that curiosity on
1:04:54
the streets, what it's like. It's it's the respect that, you
1:04:58
know, these guys get and how people treat them and but that's
1:05:02
a different world that don't have to be for everybody.
1:05:06
It's not a that's not a world that everybody have to be in, no
1:05:10
matter how good it look, how glorifying it look.
1:05:14
It's the it's the stories. Like how you let people know
1:05:18
it's a darker side to that to those prison bus rides shackling
1:05:24
next to these smelly guys. It's a hundreds of buses.
1:05:27
We all nothing at all. You're not getting toothpaste on
1:05:32
a regular. You're not getting Dove soap and
1:05:34
lotion. That's a but we we we made, we
1:05:38
made that. We made that mental choice to
1:05:42
not make that a part of our life that recidivism is not.
1:05:47
I'm not in those numbers. I'm not in those numbers,
1:05:51
that's. A big deal, Lauren.
1:05:52
And I want to ask you, because you walk through so many
1:05:56
different paths where you are today, what what do you think's
1:06:02
your biggest take away from all of it to tell the listeners out
1:06:05
there? To believe in yourself I like.
1:06:12
That. If I was able to make it and I
1:06:17
tell people I had a strong support system, my grandmother,
1:06:21
she was a soldier. She made it throughout all of my
1:06:26
prison stance and she passed away in 2011, but all she
1:06:34
instilled in me made me to who I am.
1:06:38
So hopefully if the people have a strong support system, stick
1:06:47
as close to them as you can. Everything.
1:06:50
Everything else is artificial. It's a distraction.
1:06:57
The your support system who stuck with you through however
1:07:01
much time you did, whoever it is, wherever they at, however
1:07:06
much time they have to go through, whoever is there
1:07:10
supporting you unconditionally, hold on to them.
1:07:17
That will give you a confidence if they pass away.
1:07:21
You have built the confidence in yourself to be better than what
1:07:26
we were. It's a it's it's self esteem.
1:07:29
When I came home from prison I noticed.
1:07:31
I noticed you. You hear how low self esteem is
1:07:35
in prison and through mostly guys we hear all the women.
1:07:38
So we want to prey on the women. Men that I heard with low self
1:07:42
esteem. Just as well, you have a low
1:07:45
self esteem as a man. If you don't put yourself in a
1:07:49
position to do what manly things are.
1:07:52
Shake the thought of you're not this person just because you're
1:07:57
going through this situation or you just come out of that
1:07:59
situation, OK, that's that's that's that chapter.
1:08:04
You can't allow yourself to be defined or contained to being
1:08:09
that person. So with that you have to have a
1:08:12
develop a strong confidence and love for yourself 'cause without
1:08:17
that anybody can tell you anything.
1:08:21
They can drag you around mentally in any direction that
1:08:23
they want to. As the old saying go, if you
1:08:27
don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.
1:08:29
I. Love that.
1:08:31
Saying and the and the and the stand for something.
1:08:33
You have to have solid confidence in whatever you're
1:08:36
standing on, whatever it is that you're standing on.
1:08:41
So if a person want to make a A a drastic change, you have to
1:08:47
buckle down. Buckle down and grid it through.
1:08:50
I love it lol. That's that's a great take away
1:08:52
and especially after everything that you've been through it
1:08:55
comes from the heart. You can I mean you've walked the
1:08:58
walk so LOL if if people want to get a hold of you they want to
1:09:03
get in touch with you. Where?
1:09:06
Where's? What's the easiest way to go?
1:09:10
My Instagram is master under score Barbara under score low.
1:09:14
I'm on Facebook. My name Laurel Newsom and
1:09:20
couldn't have fresh cuts and Saint Charles on 1st Capitol.
1:09:23
Check out my man. Check out my man.
1:09:25
You can check out his work on Instagram and Facebook.
1:09:29
See what he's up to. He's doing good work and if
1:09:33
people want to get a hold of me, it's at brentcassidy.com.
1:09:36
It's with AT, not AD. We spell it wrong, and if you're
1:09:42
trying to get to a book out there, you need to read
1:09:44
something. Go get my book.
1:09:46
It's on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Nightmare, success, and
1:09:51
if you got time, leave me a review on Apple.
1:09:54
Those are the best. They just pump up the show,
1:09:56
loving the likes and the comments and subscribing and
1:09:59
following. It's always great, as I used to
1:10:03
say when I was writing my emails back and forth from Leavenworth.
1:10:07
Stay strong. I'll do the same.
1:10:09
Lowell Newsome, I appreciate you, man.
1:10:11
Great story. Man, Brett, appreciate you, man.
1:10:16
Keep it going. All right man.
1:10:18
Nightmare. Success in and out.