Latest / The People Run Podcast / #44 How Running on Blades Set Her Free | Tanya Khvitsko-Trimb

Transcript

#44 How Running on Blades Set Her Free | Tanya Khvitsko-Trimb · The People Run Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I remember I ran for the first time.
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: I had no clue how to run because I've never ran.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: I had no clue, but I remember ran so fast.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: I had no control, so I felt like I was flying.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: That's why I like to say I'm flying when I'm running because I have no feet.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember somewhere had to catch me because I just hadn't I didn't know how to stop myself with a blade.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_01: Tanya, welcome to the People Run podcast.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for hopping on.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um how you doing today?
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: Doing very well.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: Enjoying the Sunday.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: Is it Sunday?
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: Sunday.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: Sunday.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I appreciate you.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, we're gonna talk and share here.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, when I started and reached out to you, I'll be honest to you, I came across your story and I didn't even know where to start.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: So I'll just ask you, where does this story begin with you and running and everything?
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um well, first of all, thank you for inviting me.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: I do appreciate that.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so my story.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: Uh long story short, I'm from Belarus, a country next to Russia.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I was born during USSR.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: My birth certificate says USSR, so that's cool.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: But um, I'm from uh Belarus, Republic of Belarus.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I my story starts with um you haven't heard of Chernobyl, the nuclear explosion that happened in Ukraine.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: So when the accident happened in 1986, Belarus is above Ukraine.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: So when the north, when the wind uh was blowing north, which is where Belarus, uh, 60% of the radiation from the Chernobyl settled down on Belarus.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: And so supposedly they say that majority of the um extreme disabilities or like deformities due to the Chernobyl radiation.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: And so they believe because I all four of my limbs are affected, meaning they all deformed, they're missing stuff, um, they believe it's due to Chernobyl.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: So that's why I'm known as a Chernobyl baby.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so I when I was born, supposedly my parents left me in an orphanage for babies, and then they took me back at age four um to um almost like readopted me in some ways, because I guess whenever kids are born disabilities in Belarus or Russia, I'm guessing some for the other countries, Eastern European countries, um, oftentimes doctors will just let them know the kids will die, sadly.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, like they're just and it's very improved is this the case, you know, back then.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but obviously I didn't die.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: But I think my parents left me there because they were just assuming I'm not gonna live any longer.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um but then when I was in a children's orphanage, I remember the kids.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: Some people kept sit come come to see me come visit me, and then I realized those are my real parents.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I've always thought I was adopted by my family because again, I remember memory movie anyway, and then I at 12, age 12, my mom told me the truth.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, it broke me a little bit knowing that um you know she left me an orphan and so but holy grudge, not really, but it's more of like a confusion because I still don't know lots of answers to it.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: But I I know that they left me, then they had to readopt me, kind of even though I'm their daughter, like it's just weird how that works.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: And so um, how did I come to the United States?
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I was an orphanage, I moved to another orphanage for kids.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: Again, it's common in Eastern Europe to basically hide your kids, hide a disability, because whenever you have a child with a disability, um it's kind of like a sh- I'm a shame, and no, no, you know, they don't want people to know that their child is disabled.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: And so I was sent to another boarding school for kids with disabilities or no parents, again, so away from the public.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so I spent time during school years in Belarus, boarding school.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: And um when I was barely five years old, some doctors from the United States, specifically Kansas City, um, came to my school and they were just looking for kids with disabilities.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: And we we like to call it, I'm a I'm a believer, so we like to call it, you know, an angel certainly because my nurse, one of the nurses, she was wearing L white, she brought me to them and said she needs help.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I was very petite, I was very sick.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I was five years old, I was very young, and I had very, very old prosthetic legs.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um and they that's kind of my life changed from there.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um now, um, I'm going ahead of myself.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: So people ask me, when did I start walking?
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: Well, if you think about it, I never really walked because I don't have legs.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't get to experience that six-month first step or first.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: So supposedly I got my first prosthetic legs at four is when my parents took me back.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: That's when I got my first prosthetic legs.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: I remember memory, my dad is sitting on the kitchen floor and me trying to walk in those wooden and heavy prosthetic legs.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, there's a leather, there's tiny, I just remember they were ugly.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I don't remember much of my childhood, probably because I had to block a lot of it for my personal reasons.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but uh doctors, so going back to my boarding school, doctors came to me to saw me, and then so that summer, since then that summer is when my life kind of changed.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: I came to the United States for two months for the summer, and I got you know, doctor appointments, lots of shots, lots of that's why I have a fear of shots because like I as a kid I got so many of them.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like now, anyway, but um neposteric legs from Shriner's Hospital.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then I lived in America and housed families in Kansas City, and I think that was to me cool.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: And it people don't think perspective, but like most of my life I lived in an orphanage, boarding school.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: And here I am coming to a random family, and I didn't like you know, I'm going to Kansas, it's not a big deal.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: But to me, that was like the coolest thing ever because I was treated like a normal kid for once.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: I was able to wear shorts in public.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: I was able to, nobody looked at me and saying, oh, something's wrong with you.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, you're just special, right?
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: Not in a good way, special.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: So coming to the United States was like such a delight.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's kind of how my life moved on.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: So every every summer I would come to the United States for two months, spend here, um, get medical treatment braces, new legs every year, and then during school years, I would go back to boarding school um and live there.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: And people asked me, well, wouldn't you see your family?
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: Mainly big big um, like Christmas, Christmas break, because it's the longest one, and then potentially in the summer, maybe uh a week or two because before I went to boarding before I went to the United States or boarding school.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: So otherwise I stayed in a boarding school.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: So in subways, I kind of grew up in my own six seven.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a seven-year-old, so six seven all the time.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: But um, yeah, so I grew up in my own mostly, and I think a lot of times that's why I come out a little bit more like very um I'm I'm very focused.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like I, you know, because I just I had to just learn things on my own.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: Whether it's whether it's you know this and that, like it was just me by myself.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: And so um by coming back and forth doing this, I I realized in the United States I was treated, I'm not saying I was treated normal, but I was I'm saying I was treated like a kid.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, yes, I had disability, but I was treated like a kid.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't have to hide from anybody, I didn't have to hear, oh Tanya, don't wear shorts.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: Where in Belarus, again, my parents are wonderful people, but they they don't really liked me showing my legs in public.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: They just were not comfortable with that.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I think mainly, yes, I think mainly it's because they were trying to protect me from the public eye.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: They didn't want people to feel sore for me.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: So I get that's more of a more of a tough look.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's got a tough look, basically, where I had to just hide it.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: And um after doing back and forth, I I I spoke to my American host family and said, is there a way I can come here for college?
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: I said, I don't know if I'll be I'll have any future in Belarus because I'll probably send another orphanage or I got I don't know if I'm gonna have a job because people's gonna see me as dis disabled.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I just knew that my future, I'm not saying over there.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I don't know what's gonna happen.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what what would have happened to me in Belarus, but I'm just I just knew it wouldn't have been very successful.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I was a very persistent kid.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: I was always topping everything.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: And so I remember just I I just wanted to ask my host families, and I have three incredible host families who know me since I was a little girl who've been inviting me every summer.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: So like I grew up with them.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: And um, thanks to them, um, they were able to help me get here.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: Meaning, um again, long story, I never studied English.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: I studied just by coming to the United States in the summers.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: And so um Cohi College is a two-year woman's college.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, they were willing to accept me to college as long as I passed the test and back to test.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: I studied English for a year, that my last school, and then when it was test time, I missed it by 10 points.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: And so I was like, oh no, my dream of coming in is broke.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like I was just thinking it's not gonna happen, but college accepted me anyway.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's how I moved to that state.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: So 17 years ago, a week before I turned 18, so technically underage, my parents left the airport a long time ago.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: I was in the airport by myself, underage, technically, without my parents' permission, flying, and I had to go through a lot of ages because they're like, You're underage.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, my parents already left me.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like I was just so used to doing by myself.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: But but anyway, 17 years ago is when I moved my made my move to come here.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: Original goal was just to get my bachelor associates degree.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: But then after my associate's degree, I was just like, I want to go more.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: So I didn't know um got my bachelor's degree, um, and so on, so on.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: So I haven't uh visited Belarus in the last in the last 17 years.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: But since then, I've got you know, I all I went was a socialist degree, but I got my master's degree now.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's just cool to see where how how I was afraid coming here to where I'm now like and so that's just education part.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: But then obviously now we're talking about running, and then I you know discovered running, and I'm sure you want to ask me how I got there, so I'll stop talking.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: No, you're good.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_01: I I love the the the background and perseverance you had, you know, to kind of do it on your own and eventually make it with a whole other people.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's like I'm on my own, but also with a huge community, huge support of people who truly believed in me.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_01: What did that feel like having that support?
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_01: You're on one side in Belarus, but then you come to America, everyone's open armed support for you.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: It was amazing, but also like almost like sad in some ways because no, I didn't want to go to Belarus.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's almost like um it made me like realize like, and again, obviously that was 17 years ago.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what what it looks like now.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like I know my friends from boarding school did have jobs, but are they have what I have?
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: But it was I remember no, I never wanted to leave the United States because I was just a heaven to me here.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: I just truly was happy here.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: Where back home I was always hiding myself, I was focused on education, that's all.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like I was in boarding school, I was always away from the public.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: I had American siblings, I had fights, you know, we're Battle Race.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't really grow up with siblings again, barely spent time because just I didn't have the normal childhood that I think a normal kid would have.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: I truly was on my own, just going from one place to another, one place to another constantly.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_01: When when did running come all into place after this?
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_01: You stayed here, you got to Kansas, you got a degree all the way up to Masters.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_01: When did you know running clicked?
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: All my life I've been an athlete.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: I played ping pong, breaking a champion.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, my own.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: I played ping pong, I was standing on stage, I wanted to perform.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like I did, there's a reason why I'm so because I'm very like I used to be on stage a lot.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's a cultural European thing.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: We have to, you know, we have to be on stage all the time.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: And so when I was um, I remember I would break my prosthetic legs all the time.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: And if I break my prosthetic legs, I have to be in a wheelchair because I have no feet, obviously.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: But um, so I always tried to break my friends, but I physically couldn't.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: I just physically can't run.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: I have my legs wouldn't allow me to run, which was never a fun thing as a kid and just limiting yourself.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: But when I was in um senior year of my college career, I spoke to again, host families, incredible people.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: They're like the biggest hearts.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: I spoke to them, kind of just mentioned running would be cool.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: And a company from Florida, back then, company from Florida, POA.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I guess they, I don't know how we got connected to them, but anyway, they invited me to go there.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: And the original goal was just to get me walking legs.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I know, because Shrania's hospital no longer could accept me because I was over 21.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: They do it until 18, but they were willing to work with me until 21.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: And after that, I had to go somewhere else.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: And so they took me there, and so they made me walk in legs, and I remember mentioning them how it'd be cool to run.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: And the very last, I'm gonna get emotional here, and the very last day of my trip, um, they surprised me to run your legs, and that's awesome.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's emotional because again, perspective, I don't get to I never get to be a true kid.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: I never get to walk my first steps, right?
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said, or I never get to run.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: And so somebody donated a blade.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: It was like a military blade, so I think it was an American flag on it.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I remember I ran for the first time.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: I had no clue how to run because I've never ran.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: I had no clue, but I remember ran so fast, I had no control, so I felt like I was flying.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: That's why I like to say I'm flying when I'm running because I have no feet.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember somewhere had to catch me because I just hadn't I didn't know how to stop myself with a blade.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so since then the new Tanya basically came out.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: Because in college I would still wear hands to cover my legs, but with my running legs, I I couldn't do this anymore.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: And it's almost like a lot of people had no clue I had to press their legs until I had my blades.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: And so that basically is a newborn tanya.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: And so in my senior years, when like I opened up to a real world just showed people here I am.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: It was hard because I had to almost like like I was almost like I felt like I was lying to people, which I wasn't.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: I just never wore pants or shorts in public, but here I am.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like I felt very vulnerable, but also very like happy finally to open up and just say, Here I am, people suck it up, you know, in the mean way, saying like deal with it kind of a thing.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: And um that I think um really helped me find who I really am.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like that that's when my personality truly came out.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: And uh so yeah.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_01: Do you feel like part of the whole wearing pants before you got the blades was part of like keeping reserve a little bit and then eventually you got the blades?
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I think it's culture.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: My mom could tell me don't wear shorts in public, nobody needs to see that.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: And that was in my mind, but also it's the staring, it's the questions, it's almost like embarrassment in some ways.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's embarrassing to now have the normal legs.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's really I know it doesn't, but it's more than anything to me embarrassing because I know I'm gonna be stared, I know kids are gonna be pointed, I know like something is wrong with me, and I hated that.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: And so with blades, I just truly had to kind of really tell myself it's okay.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: And it was okay.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: That's the cool thing, is that it was okay.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: In the end, it turned out just fine.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: But growing up, and again, my parents did their best, but I I'm not blaming them, not at all, but I am understanding that they truly were trying to protect me because of a culture because they didn't want anybody to feel bad for me or feel sorry for me.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: I get that, but at the same time, it did mess me up where I was so scared, I was so scared to tell people there's something wrong with me, even though there was a real run, I just had no legs.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_01: How did you uh overcome that?
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you grow up years of having legs before the blades and that midmership.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'm like, I had no choice.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: I I think if I really wanted to run, I had no choice but to wear shorts.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: In other words, like if because I really want to run.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: And so I was like, okay, do I want to run or do I want to continue being in the old Tanya?
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: And so if for me to run, I had no so it's it was almost like a force thing for me.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, I made a choice, but I'm happy I got those blades because thanks to those blades, I realized holy cow, I am fast, holy cow, I am capable more.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: Holy cow, look at those people realizing they don't care about.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, they do care, but they don't care.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: And realizing nobody really cares.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, everybody's gonna stare because it's a normal human instinct, but nobody really cares.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: So, and so that's when I was like, okay, I got this.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: And from there, I just kind of my running career um kind of went on.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: And it's amazing.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_01: What um what does it feel like, you know, after that first run, you run, you go flying, someone has to step stop you, and then now you're used to running with blades.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_01: What's that feel like?
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: Well, when I got my first running legs, I actually had only one blade on the right side.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm above the knee and below the knee, and a left leg, which is below the knee, I'm only missing a foot section.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: On the right side, I'm only I have a teeny tiny knee, but it's not usable enough, so it's picked above the knee.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: And so on the right side, I had a blade, but my left leg still had like a walking foot.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: So um I've had this for a few years, and then um I got two blades.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: Eventually I got two blades, so those professional blades, and that's when um I realized, okay, I have more chances.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: Because um, yes, uh, people like this argument whether blades help run us.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: In some ways, they do help me.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: Let's be real, it's a spring.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: But at the same time, you have advantage, you have anchor, you have a way to move things that I don't have.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: So both ways you have advantage, so do I have advantage.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: So once I got those blades, I realized I can jump, you know, bounce and and spring.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, that's when I picked up to running, and and that's I think when I truly started becoming a competitive athlete.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: When I get those two blades, and because I the feeling of flying.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, again, to me, it feels like I'm flying because I I have no legs.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: Once you take those legs away from me, I am I'm on a wheelchair.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm literally, I can't move.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_00: I physically just can't move.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: And so I always tell people, you know, it's not that I didn't want to run, I physically just couldn't.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: So we never hear people saying, Oh, I just my legs hurt.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, listen, I take away legs from me, I'm stuck.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have the ability.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: You should be grateful and go try your best.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's okay.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's a mental thing that like people don't realize they can't just take off their legs.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: I can.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's a what seems like a plus, but at the same time, it is negative.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: Once I break my legs, I'm I'm you know, I'm stuck.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_01: When did your career start?
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you mentioned running career and started running more competitively.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: I think um, so I've um you know five K, I did lots of five Ks and ten K's just throughout, but I would say maybe like I think it was about four years ago.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry, three years ago is when I truly started racing on a competitive level.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: I would say four years ago because I did a marathon, my I think it was Miami marathon, and I was doing well, but I didn't do as well as I wanted, and then I hired a coach, obviously the coach to be successful.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's when I was amazed how fast I could run, obviously with the proper training and stuff like that.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_00: And um, it was cool to be raced against everybody because I'm in Kansas City, it doesn't have that many MPTs, so I race a bit against everybody, and I look when I get to the race and I hear, oh, she's here, crap.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like things like that.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like so I knew I was a competition.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: Now, it doesn't mean I don't get first place, but to me, being top three or top five in the area about you know 2,000 people, that's to me is a win, honestly.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: And so as an MPT, being bilateral, I mean above the knee, below the knee, you don't see many of those types of MPs.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: Usually it's a single below the knee, single, um usually it's below the knees are successful, but being above the knee and below the knee is not that easy.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_00: And so I was just I was proud of myself because man, I raced and I was like, what is wrong with me?
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: Because my body was being so incredible, and that's when the Boston merit Boston theory, like, okay, can I do Boston?
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_00: Can I do Boston?
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_00: I remember there's no way I can do Boston, like I but um I can do Boston, but that's when I got injured.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: Bummer.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_01: You know, for those listening, why is that that it's harder?
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sure it's self-explanatory, but just so we can share out that it's harder above the knee versus below the knee.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_01: Is it just just much more effort?
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_00: So let's say uh basically because I have two different lengths.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: Legs, people often ask me why do you have two prosthetic legs?
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's a self-explanatory.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: I have two different lengths of legs, legs.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_00: If you're above, if you're double above the knee, you're using equal amount of hips.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_00: If you're above below the knee, you're losing, but in my case, it's such so off that it's my body is overworking, my upper body, my hips, you know, my left leg is working harder to support my right leg.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: And so I um that's why I'm I learned how few bilateral NPCs like me do those races because it's so difficult in the body, it's so difficult on hips, it's so complicated.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_00: And now I'm seeing a little bit more realizing, okay, that makes more sense.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sure there's some growing pains with that before you got really competitive.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what did you learn as you got competitive?
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of PT work?
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_01: Did you need to do a certain recovery protocol?
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: Lots of back pain.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_00: I did have a very, I do look like I have very muscular back back.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I've learned, and that makes sense.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_00: I should have known that, but as a double MPT runner, when uh especially like above the knee, we use our upper body because we don't have feet, we don't have ankles, right?
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: In some ways, knee, we use our upper body to propel.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_00: And so our back muscles are a lot bigger than let's say somebody with the below the knee, because they actually can use their you know hips and and glue and uh uh quads and stuff like that.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_00: Where for me, it's literally my upper body and my hips propelling.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: So something I learned.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, oh yeah, that makes more sense.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_00: That's right.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_01: What's uh what do you have to do on a daily basis?
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what's your routine for recovery or making sure you're okay to be competitive at the next race?
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_00: Right now I'm injured.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: I will say I tore my hip muscle.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so right now my schedule is slightly different.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: Usually you're correct.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: I would do um, I go to chiropractor and we do some kind of a work, body work just because I have a lot of back pain.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_00: Going back to my body, I'm I'm using my back muscles, my hip muscles a lot more.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_00: So my my back pain is um quite common in me.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_00: But also my um my uh used to be my right above in the side would ate a lot, and then now that my left side is injured, my right side feels amazing.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_00: But again, lots of physical therapy, but lots of uh pi practice and then lots of um stretching, lots of stretching, lots of warm-ups.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_00: We learned that if I don't warm up properly, um, and that it should be for everybody, but if in my case, it's because I'm using these smaller muscles, it takes a lot harder to warm up.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_00: And so if I don't do that, I will injure myself and stuff like that.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_00: So just lots of taking time, taking it's precious time.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: And with me being on go, it's so hard to stop and stretch.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's so hard.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, okay.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_01: You mentioned Boston.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_01: So when did Boston become more than a dream?
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um when I reached out to the Paralympics committee and I and the Boston community, I said, what do I need to do?
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: What do I need for time?
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_00: Uh obviously, I'm not competing as an um regular person, I'm competing as a para athlete.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_00: And so they said I need four uh don't quote me on time, there's a specific time you need to reach.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, we're giving more time than you know, average person.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um it's over four hours, I believe.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_00: To be para athlete, like a professional athlete, you need like four hours.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_00: And then if it's a not professional jest, like a MPT athlete, there's a longer like seven hours, I think.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_00: So I did it my younger marathon and I did it like four hours and 12 minutes, and I was so upset.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_00: But um, that was enough to qualify me for technically Boston.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_00: And so when I said training for Boston, that's when again, that's when when I was training for Boston that year, I was PR in my head.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like my hack marathon time was one hour and 39 minutes.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: That was insane.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_00: I've never imagined running that pace for 13 miles, 13 miles.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_00: Or like my 5k was like 19 something.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_00: Again, never in my life did I imagine running that fast and wearing two blades.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so when I was training for Boston, our original goal was to do 3:30, and that was on the pace.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, my times were perfect.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I um I was looking back at my time um from 2025, 2024, 2024, um, Boston time, and I could see I was going, my pace was perfect for 7:30, maybe even faster.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_00: But then um a mile 19, I fell on my left leg, I fell on my knee, and after that, every time I'd run, I would have the sharpest pain.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_00: Basically, the cramp was so bad it made me fall and fall.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember I called my husband, I said, John, I'm done.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_00: I said, I can't do this anymore.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I can't.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I was in a wheelchair, I was ready to be rolled out.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I was just done, done.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_00: But um, tell my husband, he said, No, obviously you have six miles, so let's push through.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_00: And the joke was, you know, he'll buy me a jack busting jacket if I finish it.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_00: And so I both dreamed in a jacket and I finished it, but the finish time was exactly four hours and four seconds.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I was wow, so heartbroken because the fact that the time when I was sitting in a wheelchair, that's probably a good 10 minutes, no, 15 minutes, no, just sitting there, and just it broke me how I had a good chance of getting my time.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so since then I've been kind of salty about it because I I know I can.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but since that injury, unfortunately, um, I've been kind of going a little bit downhill with my running because that hip is just not healing well.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_00: But that I think that made me realize one, I'm not unstoppable, not unstoppable.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_00: Two, I think it made me realize I am missing the legs.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like I kind of made me realize my legs are great, but if I want to continue running, I need to um pause and and and just realize what are my real goals?
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's 330 a goal for me potentially, but I don't think it's something I need to chase to be healthy, if that makes sense.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: Because I was doing so amazing races.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_00: I was, I mean, but now it's like I'm going backwards and I'm just like, okay, I can barely run 10 a mile without issues.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_00: But it's really realizing appreciate, okay, I can't run, but I think I just need to maybe change my goals and and and and be more realistic with myself.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_00: But Boston's amazing.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I did the following Boston again, and um that following year again, I had another issue with my prosthetic leg.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_00: And so I it's kind of like a destiny, like they say, like maybe Boston is just not my thing.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_00: Meaning Boston PR, maybe Boston 330 is just not my thing, and that's okay.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe it is, but I think my body, the way I'm built, the way I like I'm I'm built more of a 5k, 10k, half my round.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure I'm a little bit bigger, not bigger, but I'm I have a lot of muscle in me.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_00: So I think those races work well for my body type because I'm fast and quick, but I'm not good with a long distance.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like my body just shut shuts down.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_00: My hips, my pressure, my legs just they work so much harder.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm realizing that and like, okay, that repetition, my hip, eventually, yeah.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm thankful.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm thankful I get to do Boston.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_00: I'm thankful to, I'm thankful that I got to do Boston.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't realize Boston is such a it's overwhelming because from them from mile one, where there's a few people, mile two, miles three.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_00: I mean there are a few people, but the energy was the same for mile one for mile 26.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, because and that's what probably got me to finish.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I remember I was in tears.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_00: I was didn't want to look at people, but then I realized, wait, wait, tell you, they're there for me.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_00: If I don't look at them, I'm putting myself down.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_00: So I had to remind myself, look at the people, be thankful because they are there cheering me, they believe in me, whether I believe myself or not.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_00: And so Boston was definitely something I remember forever.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_01: That's amazing.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_01: You getting up and pushing through that and shout out to husband, you know, that phone call, get you the jacket.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, like I should clarify on my second Boston Marathon.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_00: I have we've I did a 200-mile relay.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know those 200-mile relays?
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever heard of them?
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_00: Amazing.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_00: I've done them.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_00: I did one right a week before uh Boston Marathon.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_00: I was in California.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um, a part of my MPT Blay Ryanos team now were um they invited me to do.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_00: And so on the right, I remember doing a race, and I'm like, man, my leg is sliding off a lot.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_00: I was thinking maybe there's just I've lost weight all of a sudden, or maybe it's because heat in California.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_00: Well, on the marathon, my leg keeps sliding off, and I was like, well, I'm just gonna push through.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_00: And so on the right, on the marathon, again, bad race, but I almost every two, three miles I had to stop my leg, stop, take off my prosthetic leg, wipe the sweat, and do this for two, three miles.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I knew I'm not gonna do well at this race because I'm stopping so much.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: Well, the following day we found out that my prosthetic leg had a teeny tiny hole, so I didn't have a section.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_00: It was so small that not enough to catch.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_00: And and I again, it just reminded me what a privilege for people to have legs.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like you have feet.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I hear me dealing with this leg that is I just I have no control over it.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_00: There's literally that teeny hole that's just preventing me to have a good run.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_00: And and so again, it just kind of made me sad because I've always wanted to wish what wanted to have legs, but I also realized it sucks not to have legs, and I'm jealous of these people, but I'm also like it just again, I'm I'm not unstoppable.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's the thing.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's like I'm not unstoppable.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_00: I have to remember it's okay.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, how do you uh find yourself pushing through that and preservating, you know, the falls and no ready to quit unattractive?
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_00: Eastern European, we don't quit.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_00: If we don't quit, if we quit, listen, there's nothing wrong with us.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um, no, I think like when I did the Boston four hours and four seconds, I remember I was so sad.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I called my coach, I was in tears.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I think I was in a medical tent for a good hour because my heart rate was so off.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean, I just anyway, and um, but and I remember crying, but I didn't realize what's pushing me, I think, is the people.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I think I just I'm such a I work hard and everything, but life work, kids, you know.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_00: I like to, I like to do my best.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: Why?
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know, because I'm an overachiever, because that's how I was raised.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_00: That's how I kind of and so for me, this Boston wasn't just a Boston.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_00: No, obviously I was doing on a parallel per professional level, and obviously I went to win, but also because I think I I'm such a like people are watching me, I didn't want to disappoint people.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a people pleaser, and I didn't want you know, here I'm saying I can do 330, which I was, but then here I'm doing four hours, and I was just like so it's pushing me, I guess, is that the the motive that people are watching me that I don't want to disappoint people.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's a good thing, it's a bad thing, but that's what helps me.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_00: But also, I think I think it's just I'm I I like finishing things.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_00: If I don't finish something, I think I would regret.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_00: And and I'm so happy that my husband John said finished our race, no, just finished.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, it sucked, and yes, I was in pain, but I did marathon, boss the marathon.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I could have done three thirty.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_00: I could have done three thirty.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_00: That's what bothers me.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's like I was on that path until that fall.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_00: And it pays things and it pays until that fall.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_00: And then from there I just couldn't get my leg because it was cramping so hard.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I I knew there was something off with my hip and that point is just it was just mental, like going through pain and just praying that I don't rip everything there.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_01: When you have a moment like that and then you you persevere, you push through that finish line, especially like a boston, what goes through your mind as you cross that finish line?
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_00: Just being grateful for the ability to move, I think.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um back, I'm uh I like to remind people to be grateful.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I I think maybe because I'm grateful, so I want people to be grateful.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_00: But perspective, no, I don't, I've never had legs.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_00: I've never got to be experienced my first baby steps or you know, my first run.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_00: And so for me to get my first running steps at 21 years old, I don't want to take it for granted.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, that's 25, 21 years of my life, I didn't get to experience this.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, I am going to take advantage of this.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_00: I am going to take the best because that's something I I couldn't do.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_00: And it's, you know, when you say when when you when you do something, when you're doing something and then one day it disappears and you wish you had that again.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_00: I never had legs.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like for me, it's reversed.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like I was given the chance, so I want to make sure I take full advantage of this opportunity and and and um run.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um I I do understand that maybe one day, someday, my body will probably not gonna be the same level as I'm now.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_00: I get that.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_00: But while I can, I'm gonna do everything I can to destroy my body in a good way and do my best because I don't want to live my life and say, oh, how I just wish I did Boston Marathon.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I just wish and no, I don't want to go back to that.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we live once.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_00: And so I sent to the United States.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_00: No, I'm so glad I took a chance of talking to my American families about coming to the United States or going to college.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I don't want to regret, I think.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_00: That's my thing.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_00: I I don't want to regret.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's like having my son, like it was absolutely horrible birth, but I have the best kid ever.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_00: Is he a pain in the butt?
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's not it's like every kid.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_00: But that's true.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I feel like everything to me is uh another chance of of experiencing things.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um I'm I'm just a happy, I'm a thankful kid.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a thankful person.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'm thankful for Kansas City community who believe in me, whether it's donating money for me to come to college or or you know, inviting me to come here, because a lot of people, so many people were involved for me to come to the United States.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so many people were involved for me to go to college.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, without them, I don't know.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know where I would be.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_00: But also I'm thankful for my mom and dad, despite them leaving me, you know, just without their because they were so strict with me.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_00: They were they were reminding me that I am capable.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember they were very strict with me because they wanted to make sure I had good grades, because they want me to be successful.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_00: But um, I'm thankful for their sternness, even though it's tough, because I realized because of them, I'm so you know, very strict, I don't know what I'm trying to say, but I'm just saying like I'm thankful to my parents no matter what.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'm thankful for my American South Families, I'm thankful for my husband, I'm thankful for the community that just truly believed in me.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_00: And and I'm I'm gonna do everything I can to prove to them that I'm grateful and by living this life the fullest day I can.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_00: And hoping that one day that little girl and the orphanage or board in school one second.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_00: Listen, have tears, have tears.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm hoping that I can encourage a young lady who's who's who's going through stuff, mental stuff, you know, issues that she sees me like, no what?
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_00: I want to be just like Tanya.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_00: I know it's funny.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I know a young lady, she got her legs, um, she got an accident, she amputed her leg was amputated.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_00: And what I was told the person she said it was I'm gonna be like Tanya.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_00: And so I want to be that.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_00: Now, when you whenever she said she shared it, that she wanted to be like like me after her amputation, it's like boom, that's why I'm here.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_00: No, I'm making some difference.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I know I'm making a difference, but whenever you hear from somebody who just lost their legs and I need them before the amputation, and they're saying that, I'm like, okay, it's all worth it.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_01: How does it feel like you know, obviously, you share your story online and stuff.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_01: How does it feel to get those reactions, you know, and making that difference, uh, people being able to see you?
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_01: Like, do you ever think about that and and like people watching?
• 32:50
  SPEAKER_00: No, not really.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_00: Only like if people are rechargeing personally.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not um I'm because my goal is necessary to inspire people.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_00: By the way, it's speaking inspired.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_00: I don't like the word inspiration.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_00: I I I'll be out in front of you.
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_00: If people are calling inspiring, I'm doing I do my best to hold myself and be kind.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think the word inspiration is overused.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, I can go anywhere and people come inspired.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, people, where this person has a cancer, but because I'm visually seen, people are calling inspiring like stop, like don't like don't people see me for visual.
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_00: I want to be known for Tanya.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_00: I want to be inspiring because I read a marathon, not because I have no legs, kind of a thing.
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like people don't and I and I get people are kind and like they mean the best, but to me I did it so many times.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like, like I'm in a restaurant, people like, oh, you're so inspired.
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I just went potty.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_00: Can I just get a break?
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's just and so I think my goal is to educate people that be aware how you yes, we appreciate your inspiring words, but oftentimes by you tell them inspiring, you remind me something's wrong with me.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's kind of like if you wear glasses and be like, you're so inspiring for wearing glasses, you'd be like, I'm just wearing glasses.
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I'm just wearing prosthetic legs.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_00: I want to I want to teach people to be okay with difference, but I can you not make a big deal about it, not remind me, oh you're inspiring.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_00: Because oftentimes when I hear we're inspiring, I'm hearing, oh, they're pouring my me.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_00: They're like, oh, if I don't know what would I do in your place, I'd probably be living your life, like my me.
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_00: No, it's like I feel like I'm often even though I'm inspiring, oftentimes I feel like I'm pointing kind of a little bit lower because if they were in my place, they don't know it.
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, no, you'd be just fine, probably.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_00: So to answer the question, I'm I don't know if I'm really inspiring people.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_00: I am, I am, I get it.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_00: But I think I like when people reach out to me directly, that's when I'm like, oh, that's so cool.
• 34:39
  SPEAKER_00: But in in general, it's like I'm just living my life and I want to be treated like everybody else.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I don't want to be inspirational when I go to a store.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_00: I want to be a mom who is yelling at her kid because he just ran away from me.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_00: Because I am a real person, you know, I am just a mom and my legs are my legs.
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_00: And like speaking of Gabriel, you know, one thing I'm learning is with Gabriel, he's um like whenever Gabe started school, kids would start stare at me.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_00: And usually I'm used to that.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_00: But what caught me was Gabe one day didn't want to go to school because he was in tears because kids would ask him constantly, what's wrong with your mom?
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's one thing ask me, but it's another thing.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like, nobody sees his perspective.
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody's like, oh, just kids, let them ask questions.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_00: But what about my kid?
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_00: Is he not like is he is it not like so?
• 35:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um my job is to educate hopefully parents and say, talk to your kids, educate them, do your job before making everybody else uncomfortable.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_00: So it's all about educating, but also awareness.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I want to, I'm a real person, and I think that's what my main goal is to show people I'm a freaking real person.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a runner, maybe a little competitive, but I'm also a mom.
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_00: Just because I'm missing the legs, and we talk about it every time, just because I'm missing legs, it's not a problem, but it is a problem because it's just called an inspiration.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_00: Does it make sense?
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_01: No, I get that.
• 35:53
  SPEAKER_01: I totally understand.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_01: At the end of the day, you're doing, you know, you like you said, living your life, you're running and doing these amazing challenges.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I appreciate that.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_00: I appreciate the kindness, I do.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_00: But I think because I get so daily, often, to me, it's just like I love it.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_00: You know how I say I love it for everything.
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's kind of the same thing, it's just like, oh, another word, like, oh sorry, they just talked my legs.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_00: When I see people coming to me, I'm just like, I'm not a venture.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I almost have a bitch like and I've done this before, and it's and my husband's like, telling him, be polite.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm like, I don't want to be talked about.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't want to be asked what's wrong with me.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_00: I I want to just walk to the store and walk away.
• 36:30
  unknown: Yeah.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's one normal, maybe it's one normality, I think that's my problem.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_00: I want to be normal, whatever the normal means.
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_01: How do you balance that?
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_01: Say the normal and your day-to-day, you know, with running on top of it and family and work.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's hard.
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's a lot of work because like even now, I even though I'm not training as hard, no, I still wake up at 4 or 5 a.m.
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_00: to go train.
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, I have a full-time job.
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I have a kiddo now.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_00: I have a no, you know, after usually at a.m.
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_00: I do my cardio in the evening.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_00: I usually will go and live with my husband.
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_00: So like I am constantly on the go.
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_00: And uh it's a lot.
• 37:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think people are often shocked that I have a full-time job.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um again, I love breaking the barrier.
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, I have a job.
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I have a kid.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and that's another thing I love is that I like to tell people what they're not expecting when they see me.
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so living that life is hard, but it's also rewarding.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_00: And it's also showing my my my son, Gabriel, that you know, even if you're missing legs, buddy, you gotta kind of toughen up and be tough boy.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_00: And no, you got this because if mommy can do it, you can definitely do it too.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_00: Does that mean that it does, yeah.
• 37:35
  SPEAKER_01: So people see the story, like, hey, I'm running and you know, I'm doing these races, but behind all that, you have a family, you have your day-to-day, you have work.
• 37:42
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what do people misunderstand?
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_01: I guess, as far as like, hey, I do have a job, and yeah, I have a job just like you.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_00: When you have kids, I think you're shocked to have a kid, I think, because I'm so known of running life that like we never I talk about running, and I you know, so I think having kids, like we special prosthetic legs, being pregnant, having a big belly, it's always people want to know how how you how are you pregnant?
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_00: How is a big big belly?
• 38:05
  SPEAKER_00: It was a hard.
• 38:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think I think to me, I feel like and I think when I tell kids I have a kid, we tell people have a kid, I think that a lot of them are just shocked that me being to prosthetic legs and managing to be pregnant was like is incredible to them.
• 38:18
  SPEAKER_00: But to me, it's just like, well, just another day, you know, just a little big belly, you know, hear me, or or job.
• 38:23
  SPEAKER_00: I but I guess I like I I think what my story is, you know, growing up kind of from nowhere, me orphanage, board in school, and to where I'm now, and it's almost like a like someday maybe I'll write a book, but it's almost like I you know back then I didn't believe myself, didn't believe myself, and here I am like getting my master's degree.
• 38:41
  SPEAKER_00: Gosh, I never thought I'd get a master's degree, especially in foreign language.
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_00: But now looking back, I'm like, it is possible.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's just like it's just weird where I started and to where I'm now.
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_00: And and and I love that where I was nothing.
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_00: I I don't know, it's just such a I'm grateful, I truly am such a grateful person to be where I am today.
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, I have bigger goals.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_00: I want to continue running and being faster and maybe get the 330 time goal.
• 39:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I think I can, but I'm just thankful.
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just thankful.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_00: I I keep losing my I keep losing my point.
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_00: My brain goes off.
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_01: When you think of 21 before, you know, getting the first blade running, and you see your life now, boston race shooting for 330.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_01: Did you ever think that was gonna be it?
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_00: No, not even close.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_00: I was happy to do 5k, honestly.
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_00: I remember I remember I ran my first 5k with my college friend, and that was a big deal to me.
• 39:34
  SPEAKER_00: Man, that was just so happy.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I don't know, maybe it was like a 35-minute race.
• 39:38
  SPEAKER_00: I it was like maybe and now for me, if I run like a 20, 30 minute 5k, I'm like, ugh.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_00: But I just write like just thinking like, no, back then I I know I was just so happy to run.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_00: I think I was just I was just so happy to be part of more communities, kind of thing.
• 39:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because like with Brasercolix, you're kind of limited, you know, you can't run, so you can't just play sports everywhere.
• 39:59
  SPEAKER_00: Or I I just I just felt like I just was able to add another part of community that was missing um all my life.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_01: Where does running what what does the sport of running give you that other sports don't?
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_01: You know, obviously you played other sports, but what does running do for you?
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_00: I have a if you haven't noticed, I talk fast, I move fast, I um constantly go.
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_00: So running helps me control everything.
• 40:22
  SPEAKER_00: Running gives me that ability that first of all, running is something that I can never do if you take my legs from me.
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_00: And so that perspective I'll never get take away from me.
• 40:31
  SPEAKER_00: Running gives me something that I can't do if you because I can't do a physically, not because I don't want to, not because I'm tired, not because my legs are hard, but because I truly have no legs.
• 40:40
  SPEAKER_00: And so running is a very unique thing where if those blades help me be a free person, fly.
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just flying because again, I have no feet.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_00: So running gives me the ability that I technically technically wasn't supposed to be given.
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_00: No, and so um, but also running helps me control my mind, my fast-paced mind.
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_00: And then three, I'm competitive.
• 41:00
  SPEAKER_00: Running helps me compete, running helps me get that competitive edge out of me.
• 41:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, I see you.
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_00: So running is just um and communes.
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, gosh, running communes is incredible.
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think I think running communities is what got me to his 5K's because that's when I realized that's when I didn't think people saw me as disabled.
• 41:19
  SPEAKER_00: That's when people saw me as competitive, able, right?
• 41:22
  SPEAKER_00: And that's when I was like, man, this is good.
• 41:23
  SPEAKER_00: No, I I am not different anymore.
• 41:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, so I have no legs, but I was no longer different.
• 41:28
  SPEAKER_00: Again, I mentioned before when I came to Wanda Races, I remember hearing, oh, she's here.
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_00: So I knew, gosh, I'm I'm on a competitive side.
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's that got me so excited.
• 41:36
  SPEAKER_00: And then the finish line, seeing other people cheering you, and then knowing that you complete something that half the population don't even know how you know, don't want to do because they're tired or legs hurt.
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_00: So it's just that excitement.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know, just a bunch of things.
• 41:48
  SPEAKER_00: So running running Bibles to running helped me open up more than anything.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_00: Because again, from wearing pants to wearing shorts because I had no choice, it helped me.
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_00: And just I was a new Tanya.
• 41:58
  SPEAKER_00: It was just cool to discover myself on a different level, be happier, be more open, and just kind of be more free, free-spirited and realizing okay, there was Tanya.
• 42:07
  SPEAKER_00: It was just I was missing because I was hidden so much under those pants.
• 42:14
  SPEAKER_01: Under the what's the Tanya now?
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_01: Is what I want to ask.
• 42:17
  SPEAKER_00: Tanya now is a little bit stressed.
• 42:20
  SPEAKER_00: Tanya right now is a little bit tired.
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_00: Tanya, I I work in the mortgage field, I'm a mortgage loan officer.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody talked about interest rates.
• 42:26
  SPEAKER_00: So I am a very stressed uh person right now to work.
• 42:31
  SPEAKER_00: That's the reality, but um, Tanya right now is injured.
• 42:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I tore my hip muscle sometime last year.
• 42:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um, every time I raced last year, I would feel a fatigue in my hip.
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, oh my gosh, I feel like I'm gonna fall.
• 42:44
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's when after like a couple months of running like that, I was like, I told my coach I said this is something off.
• 42:49
  SPEAKER_00: And so we did a test and we figured out I tore my hip muscle, my largest test hip muscle.
• 42:54
  SPEAKER_00: And so right now Tanya's in a recovery, lots of patience, um, lots of um PT, lots of physical therapy, lots of chiropractic work, um, lots of walking.
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think right now Tanya is learning to be um be more uh real, more realistic with yourself.
• 43:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think.
• 43:14
  SPEAKER_00: But also Tanya cannot wait to get back to racing.
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_00: I cannot wait to get back to 5K's.
• 43:19
  SPEAKER_00: I know so many people messaging me like, hey, I haven't seen you in months.
• 43:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I, you know, I'm constantly I don't know, I'm not gonna share with everyone what happened with me.
• 43:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just saying, oh, I'll beat in a few you know months.
• 43:27
  SPEAKER_00: But I cannot wait to get healthy and get back to being competitive and and and then start um racing and start competing, start maybe potentially beating some people with legs is my favorite part.
• 43:39
  SPEAKER_00: So China right now is quite um different China than China two years ago, but I will get there.
• 43:44
  SPEAKER_00: I know I'll get there.
• 43:45
  SPEAKER_00: I just need a little bit more patience with myself because lately, lately, like my coach says, Oh, you have to run two miles.
• 43:51
  SPEAKER_00: I've been like doing six miles, and that's when I'd have to, then I would injure myself again.
• 43:55
  SPEAKER_00: And so my my my right now is like mentally maybe I can run six miles.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_00: I need to teach my my brain to two miles because um because right now mentally I have to work it's kind of like you know exercise but mental exercise that's why I need to work what's the road to recovery looking like um for you I've been uh what about three months recovery now?
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um I think uh so I have good news, great news.
• 44:19
  SPEAKER_00: I've been four weeks pain free officially.
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_00: I've been running no more than no more than 50 miles a week.
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_00: So it's very later coming up, but to me being pain-free now is just such a relief.
• 44:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like um I cycled yesterday for 20 minutes um and I had no hip pain.
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_00: And like just those little things are now like a win to me because going from where I couldn't walk a mile because my hip was running to cycling for 20 minutes, going for a jog for a mile is huge.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_00: So, yes, it's a step back a little bit, but I think that's you know, talking to my coach, talking to my uh PT doctors, I think they all believe I'm in the right path now.
• 44:55
  SPEAKER_00: I just need to be patient with myself and not overdo it.
• 44:59
  SPEAKER_00: That's my problem.
• 44:59
  SPEAKER_00: I overdo it, and I just need to give my body it's because it's a muscle, I have to basically retrain my muscle, and I can't just go to 10 miles.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_00: I truly have to, it's like weightlifting, you know, for you to get to higher weights, you have to start with smaller weights, and so that's how I need to do with my running hip right now.
• 45:14
  SPEAKER_01: Gotcha.
• 45:15
  SPEAKER_01: That's a patient, Tanya.
• 45:16
  SPEAKER_01: There's something you shared.
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_01: Uh one uh quote here that I love.
• 45:20
  SPEAKER_01: You said excuses don't change you, effort does.
• 45:23
  SPEAKER_01: Where'd that come from and what's it mean to you?
• 45:26
  SPEAKER_00: Probably life.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_00: Probably life.
• 45:28
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's true, though.
• 45:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's true.
• 45:30
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, look at my my whole life.
• 45:31
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, my whole life is just it's effort, right?
• 45:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm I I I know I have a cool story, I do, and sometimes I wish I had a normal story.
• 45:43
  SPEAKER_00: I wish I just had a oh, I was born, my mom and dad.
• 45:46
  SPEAKER_00: But at the same time, if not for my story, if not for who I am, there's nowhere that I wouldn't be who I am today.
• 45:53
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, let's just it's every single person, every single person, uh whether you went to a tragedy commit or not, every single person has a one story and two, every person who they are today because of something happened to them in the past.
• 46:03
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's how I see it.
• 46:04
  SPEAKER_00: So there's no excuses in my life.
• 46:06
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I if I made all these excuses, I would not be where I am today.
• 46:10
  SPEAKER_00: Let's be realistic.
• 46:11
  SPEAKER_00: You know, if I didn't put effort, I would not have a master's degree.
• 46:14
  SPEAKER_00: If I didn't uh put effort, I would not be um running, you know, a half marathon in one hour and 39 minutes.
• 46:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like this, so this it's all effort, support, and and accepting support and accepting and being okay with where you are, but also like challenging yourself.
• 46:29
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think we're so we're lately so comfortable.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 46:32
  SPEAKER_00: We we're living in a world where we're we have to be comfortable, we have to accept everybody, and I get that.
• 46:37
  SPEAKER_00: But at the same time, we're not getting out of our comfort zone.
• 46:40
  SPEAKER_00: And people need to get out of the comfort zone if they want to succeed, while still be kind and still respectful and still, you know, but but but we need to get out of our comfort zone because I think we've become too nice, too, too, um too soft, I think.
• 46:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's just me, that's my opinion.
• 46:55
  SPEAKER_00: And uh, and so uh maybe it's just because I was raised that way, but for me to succeed, that means I have to work hard.
• 47:00
  SPEAKER_00: That means I have to put effort because that's when I see the results.
• 47:06
  SPEAKER_01: Tanya, I appreciate you sharing.
• 47:08
  SPEAKER_01: This has been a fun one.
• 47:09
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for hopping on.
• 47:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I love running, that's all I'm gonna say.
• 47:13
  SPEAKER_00: I love running, and I'm thankful for running.
• 47:15
  SPEAKER_00: And people don't stop running, don't make excuses because the legs are overrated.
• 47:22
  SPEAKER_02: No legs, no problem.
• 47:23
  SPEAKER_01: That note, everyone, this has been the People Run podcast with Tanya.
• 47:27
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for listening.
• 47:27
  SPEAKER_01: Until next time.