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Joy as a Mindset: Live with The Joy Jolt · The Joy Jolt Podcast

0:01
SPEAKER_01: all right welcome to the joy jolt i'm susan patrick and my name is natalie ledwell
0:08
SPEAKER_01: and today we're going to be talking about joy as a precursor that's right and
0:14
SPEAKER_01: the be do have rather have do be paradigm yes yes yes yes because we want to we want
0:21
SPEAKER_00: to really took we want to talk about using joy
0:25
SPEAKER_00: as a precursor up here in the mind it's
0:27
SPEAKER_00: a mindset game right we every single motivational speaker therapist priest person
0:35
SPEAKER_00: anyone talking to you about your life is going to say you got
0:39
SPEAKER_00: to practice your mindset we've heard it a million zillion times but what if we align
0:44
SPEAKER_00: that we have a mindset of joy that in the mindset that joy is a is
0:49
SPEAKER_00: a mindful practice practice yeah
0:54
SPEAKER_01: and on that note yeah so um and i and i think we touched on this in the last podcast
1:01
SPEAKER_01: about how um mind like joy uh and that decision starts in the mind first right and
1:09
SPEAKER_01: then it travels into you know our day into our actions into the way we show up
1:14
SPEAKER_01: into our frequency um and without that higher frequency it's a challenge for us
1:20
SPEAKER_01: to see ourselves out of our current situations if it's challenging and
1:24
SPEAKER_01: to think ourselves out of a problem or to be able to manifest what it is
1:28
SPEAKER_01: that we want that's right and the thing is if we have a default of joy and
1:33
SPEAKER_01: that is just our you know natural uh frequency
1:37
SPEAKER_01: then we're not just manifesting what we want we're manifesting things we didn't even
1:42
SPEAKER_01: realize we wanted amen amen
1:45
SPEAKER_00: right and more things too in just enjoy i it's funny i i you and i we have this conversation
1:51
SPEAKER_00: all the time so important to bring it up why why is it for us that
1:55
SPEAKER_00: the joy jolt conversation should
1:58
SPEAKER_00: be in the front like joy is not frivolous joy isn't something that you stumble upon
2:03
SPEAKER_00: joy isn'n like joy as the point yes and i love the word that you use joy as
2:08
SPEAKER_00: the precursor, right?
2:10
SPEAKER_00: right and and i know that we touched on this on other podcasts but that sense
2:15
SPEAKER_00: of asking yourself you know how can i enjoy myself more yeah yeah
2:22
SPEAKER_01: and i think it's not like it joy only presents itself when
2:28
SPEAKER_00: the conditions are right yes thank you right that it's not just about when
2:34
SPEAKER_00: the conditions are right
2:35
SPEAKER_01: nothing has to be in alignment for you to be joyful that's right but
2:40
SPEAKER_01: the thing is we do help to create the the the moment if we're joyous first
2:47
SPEAKER_01: yes yeah you know it's like you know delaying happiness because i'll be happy
2:51
SPEAKER_01: when i get this and i'll be happy when this happens when this happens when
2:54
SPEAKER_00: that happens when this happens when they call when they do this when they
2:58
SPEAKER_00: and we make our joy we make our energy dependent on the circumstances that was
3:03
SPEAKER_00: the model that you alluded to at the beginning which is i think so powerful
3:09
SPEAKER_00: and it's a great reminder i need it you need it
3:12
SPEAKER_00: the world needs it what is your mindset is your mindset have to be
3:17
SPEAKER_00: or is your mindset be do have right like have is exactly what you just said this
3:24
SPEAKER_00: and it's so insidious it's like we really when i have this when i get this when i
3:30
SPEAKER_00: when i have this conversation when i and we're waiting we're delaying rather
3:35
SPEAKER_00: than having a mindset practice that starts with be
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SPEAKER_00: being i'm gonna be
3:41
SPEAKER_00: a joyful being right now ready i just did it did you see it ready set go and it's
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SPEAKER_00: and it's that available to you yes like that's what's crazy is it's
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SPEAKER_00: that available you can be free you can be open you can be calm you can be joyful
4:05
SPEAKER_00: regardless of what's happening around you yes and you can also be wealthy
4:10
SPEAKER_01: and you can also be loving if you want to create love in your life and you want
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SPEAKER_01: to create wealth in your life then be and act as if you already have it yeah because
4:19
SPEAKER_01: when your thoughts and your emotions and your actions are all in alignment with
4:26
SPEAKER_01: with something that you're acting as if you already have it whatever that goal is
4:32
SPEAKER_01: um that's what helps to speed up
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SPEAKER_01: the manifestation process that's what actually helps you to um and it's
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SPEAKER_01: and sometimes what when you are emanating that frequency like that when all
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SPEAKER_01: of those things are in alignment then things like wealth and love show up
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SPEAKER_01: in all different kinds of manner not just the way that you think it's supposed to
4:55
SPEAKER_00: but so so let's even go deeper than that right because it's more fun
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SPEAKER_00: when those things show up whatever they are
5:01
SPEAKER_00: because you're being love you're being joy and you know that's one of
5:07
SPEAKER_00: the ways i've approached kind of my relationship is i'm not interested
5:12
SPEAKER_00: in like falling in love with jared i'm interested in being the embodiment
5:17
SPEAKER_00: of what i think love would be i'm being love yeah
5:23
SPEAKER_00: Right?
5:24
SPEAKER_00: So, so being joy is the same thing. It's that I'm just being it where you can't even
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SPEAKER_00: see it. I'm Just, it's in me. I've been at feeling and being it in my thoughts.
5:35
SPEAKER_00: So how do we be more because the manifestation is the small part.
5:40
SPEAKER_01: Yes. I know. And everyone freaks out about the manifestation part.
5:45
SPEAKER_00: Yeah. Everyone's freaking out about it, but like we need to make the being,
5:48
SPEAKER_00: the being is the payoff yes yeah
5:53
SPEAKER_01: and the thing is what i love about you and and jared's relationship as well is that
5:58
SPEAKER_01: that your decision to be joyous within yourself that's just
6:02
SPEAKER_01: a foregone conclusion this is why you and i are working together with this
6:06
SPEAKER_01: because i'm like if i'm creating something new i want to have fun doing it and
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SPEAKER_01: the only person that popped into my mind that i know that even
6:14
SPEAKER_01: when we're doing stuff that's a little bit outside
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SPEAKER_01: of our comfort zone we are still laughing and having fun we're having
6:19
SPEAKER_00: a good time you know i was at a i was at
6:22
SPEAKER_00: a women's circle this this um last friday it was so or monday it was so beautiful
6:27
SPEAKER_00: and and we were all kind of sharing
6:30
SPEAKER_00: after we did this this moon activity it was really lovely this collection of women
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SPEAKER_00: and and one of the things that i said was i really enjoy myself
6:41
SPEAKER_00: and i was like i and i and i desire to not just enjoy myself but for my life to be
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SPEAKER_00: a pleasure and and so we started kind of talking about that because how much of
6:53
SPEAKER_00: that really is delayed how much
6:56
SPEAKER_00: of us delay pleasure you know delay joy delay playfulness because let's be honest
7:05
SPEAKER_00: the circumstances outside of us could get so heavy
7:09
SPEAKER_00: that it would be like oh of course i'm not going to feel anything joyful right but
7:14
SPEAKER_00: but the practice the real practice the joy jolt and and i think one of the most
7:19
SPEAKER_00: if not the most important conversations it's what i want my kids to understand is
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SPEAKER_00: that they are 100 responsible for their joy yeah and what a gift yes
7:32
SPEAKER_01: and what i was going to say before is
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SPEAKER_01: that you know not only have you made your personal decision that you know joy
7:37
SPEAKER_00: and pleasure and fun and it's going to be your go-to but how you and jared have been
7:43
SPEAKER_01: in conversation together on what that looks like in relationship
7:47
SPEAKER_00: with each other yeah you know because his version of that is the same he's different
7:52
SPEAKER_00: than me i mean we're different right so that's what's fun about it because
7:56
SPEAKER_00: then it can become playful yeah
7:58
SPEAKER_00: you know and we become now advocates for each other's joy i'm not responsible
8:04
SPEAKER_00: and i always tell that to my kids i was like look i'm gonna advocate
8:07
SPEAKER_00: for your happiness but i'm not responsible for it right right like and and that
8:11
SPEAKER_00: for me being an advocate for other people's joy
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SPEAKER_00: it gives me pleasure but i have to know that if i try to be responsible
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SPEAKER_00: for their pleasure i'm going to drive myself crazy ladies if you're out there listen
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SPEAKER_00: to me because this is why mothering is so hard you ain't responsible
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SPEAKER_00: for your kids happiness right you know and you'll you'll actually do a better job
8:34
SPEAKER_00: if you start advocating for people's happiness rather than taking on
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SPEAKER_00: the responsibility yes but you're not just advocating you're also modeling
8:43
SPEAKER_01: yes you know you're modeling and i
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SPEAKER_01: because you know i i just this conversation now has made me think well how am i
8:51
SPEAKER_01: showing up for myself joyously
8:54
SPEAKER_01: and how am i influencing people around me it's not like i'm i'm responsible
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SPEAKER_01: for their joy but how am i influencing them by the way i'm modeling
9:03
SPEAKER_01: and showing up you know in in joy and being be do having not have do being
9:10
SPEAKER_01: And if you're listening and you're not quite sure what we're talking about here,
9:13
SPEAKER_01: like most people have a paradigm of like I need to have the money or I need
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SPEAKER_01: To have the car so that I can do all the things I want to do
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SPEAKER_01: And travel and blah, blah, and then that way
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SPEAKER_01: I'll be wealthy
9:28
SPEAKER_01: But it's not that way
9:30
SPEAKER_00: Then I'll
9:31
SPEAKER_00: Be happy
9:31
SPEAKER_00: Then I will
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SPEAKER_00: Be joyful
9:33
SPEAKER_00: That's
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SPEAKER_00: The statement
9:35
SPEAKER_00: Where are
9:36
SPEAKER_00: You?
9:36
SPEAKER_00: Then I'm
9:37
SPEAKER_00: Being yourselves
9:41
SPEAKER_00: are you then i'll be some of the side effects of
9:44
SPEAKER_00: then i'll be is depression anxiety fear doubt yeah loneliness then i'll be it's
9:51
SPEAKER_01: an epidemic in human beings that's right um but like we said it's be do have is
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SPEAKER_01: the paradigm to live by um and you know and part of uh because i had a conversation
10:04
SPEAKER_01: with a girlfriend of mine when i was in australia
10:07
SPEAKER_01: because you know i've been having some financial challenges and um i uh was staying
10:14
SPEAKER_01: at her house for a couple of nights you know and i bought a couple of bottles
10:17
SPEAKER_01: of wine to to have and blah blah blah and uh she made a point of making sure
10:21
SPEAKER_01: that she paid for the dinners and paid
10:23
SPEAKER_01: for different things they go darling you don't have to do
10:25
SPEAKER_01: that she goes look she goes i know you
10:28
SPEAKER_01: she goes you um are always very generous you're so generous yeah super generous
10:34
SPEAKER_01: and she goes and you've got to understand that it's okay for us
10:38
SPEAKER_01: to reciprocate every once in a while she goes but i want you to see and understand
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SPEAKER_01: that you are still showing up generously yeah like you are still showing up
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SPEAKER_01: with your energy
10:48
SPEAKER_01: with our conversations you know bringing wine um your participation she goes you're
10:54
SPEAKER_01: still showing up it's just different to what you're used to
10:57
SPEAKER_01: so she goes just remember you are still embodying all of
11:01
SPEAKER_00: that right now oh i love her i love her yeah right and then and
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SPEAKER_00: then your work too is is isn't it is it and it's fun to be able to be a joyous being
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SPEAKER_00: in the receiving because that generosity it's all the same yes all of ours right and
11:19
SPEAKER_00: then like for you to be able to receive it and really i was having
11:23
SPEAKER_00: that conversation today like
11:24
SPEAKER_00: i jenna jared and i tend to be very we are we're very generous i am
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SPEAKER_00: a generous human being if i have it and i can give it i will i will because i i do i
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SPEAKER_00: and i know what you i know that that's who you are that's who i love to play
11:37
SPEAKER_00: with that's why i like to hang out with and then i started thinking
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SPEAKER_00: about like wow i really am surrounded by really generous people
11:44
SPEAKER_00: and it's not just financially generous
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SPEAKER_00: you know it's it's like that energetic uh generous it's
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SPEAKER_00: the idea generosity it's like there's so it's so much bigger and it's
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SPEAKER_00: so much it's fun when but you don't stop being the generous person that you're being
12:01
SPEAKER_00: because the generosity looks different you get to just be playful and figure out
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SPEAKER_00: and play with
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SPEAKER_00: but generosity looks like wherever you are in
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SPEAKER_01: loyalty um i'm that they're big value so even though i may not have
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SPEAKER_01: the same resources around me i'm still being that and embodying that
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SPEAKER_01: with what i do have be generous there it is you are yeah being generous and
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SPEAKER_00: that i love that right and i i desire to live even more in a world and i believe
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SPEAKER_00: the world is moving in this direction which really does feel fun
12:48
SPEAKER_00: where i i do believe that the being conversation is up more now
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SPEAKER_00: than ever people questioning like do i want
12:55
SPEAKER_00: to work this nine-to-five job i mean how is this making my life feel
12:58
SPEAKER_00: and it's you know it's no you know there's i think there is a waking up
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SPEAKER_00: and that that you know this is what i'm excited about ai is that
13:05
SPEAKER_00: if we really use it properly it'll let us be human beings not human doings yeah you
13:10
SPEAKER_00: know we've we've needed to exploit humanity for a long time in order
13:13
SPEAKER_00: to get those pyramids built you know we need we needed a lot of labor to get the the
13:20
SPEAKER_00: the castles built but it's different now we for the first time
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SPEAKER_00: in human history it's flipped
13:27
SPEAKER_00: and and we can open ourselves up to really exploring what it's like to be
13:32
SPEAKER_00: a human being yeah you know um because we're not going to be doing all
13:37
SPEAKER_00: of those things that we have to do in order to you know to like live yeah
13:41
SPEAKER_01: well and i think too that we get to this point now where uh we are we are faced with
13:46
SPEAKER_01: a lot of questions and the questions is one of the questions is okay well
13:51
SPEAKER_01: if we have you know ai and looking after a lot of the menial work
13:55
SPEAKER_01: that we normally do and creating more time and space in our lives for us
14:01
SPEAKER_01: then what are we going to fill it with and the other big question that we are faced
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SPEAKER_01: with right now is like well
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SPEAKER_01: who not who am i it's who do i want to be yes who do i want to be when i have all
14:14
SPEAKER_00: of this you know yeah who do i want to be i have to let my dog
14:18
SPEAKER_00: in sorry okay she's out there yelling and screaming
14:23
SPEAKER_00: at me you know i figure we're live so we got to be live that's right
14:28
SPEAKER_00: we're gonna be live we're gonna be live i mean it's gonna be something
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SPEAKER_00: so different now and that and that that conversation to me the joy conversation
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SPEAKER_00: the precursor to whatever else is happening in your life the precursor
14:40
SPEAKER_00: the starting point it's not
14:42
SPEAKER_00: the ending point is joy is happiness is is generosity is wealth it's it's that
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SPEAKER_00: that feeling that is expanded right like take an intentional
14:54
SPEAKER_01: let it expand you right and the thing is too is that that unless you are in
15:00
SPEAKER_01: that expanded place of joy and happiness and gratitude um it you won't be able
15:06
SPEAKER_01: to answer those questions well you know you need
15:09
SPEAKER_01: to be there first this is why joy is a precursor yeah it's a precursor for you
15:13
SPEAKER_01: to be able to
15:15
SPEAKER_01: go well all right if i could be anything if i could do anything
15:21
SPEAKER_00: and i've got this space what would that be now yeah right because but but lingering
15:28
SPEAKER_00: in that conversation what you were just saying is i feel like i have
15:32
SPEAKER_00: to give myself permission it's the personal permission that i don't know if a lot
15:37
SPEAKER_00: of people are giving themselves permission to to ask them what do i want
15:41
SPEAKER_00: to what do i want to be what do i want to
15:44
SPEAKER_00: what's my beingness how do I want to be in the world today and that's not a thing
15:50
SPEAKER_01: that you ask yourself and you come up with an answer with straight away this is
15:55
SPEAKER_01: an ongoing inquiry and part of it is how do I want to feel what are my values
16:06
SPEAKER_01: who do I want to help where do I want to spend my time with whom do I want
16:11
SPEAKER_01: to spend my time
16:12
SPEAKER_01: so it's like this you keep unpacking that question and i think it's a question
16:16
SPEAKER_01: that we want to continuously be asking ourselves
16:19
SPEAKER_00: because it will evolve yeah my sister god bless her i just one question i keep
16:25
SPEAKER_00: asking her you know and i'm gonna keep asking her what do you want what do you want
16:31
SPEAKER_00: and how many times she says
16:33
SPEAKER_00: to me i don't know what i want i'm like that's not true what do you want yeah what
16:38
SPEAKER_00: do you want so so that sense of asking
16:41
SPEAKER_00: yourself and giving yourself permission to go on, you know. And it took me a lot of practice
16:47
SPEAKER_00: to surrender myself to my beingness and see it as totally the most important conversation.
16:55
SPEAKER_00: Yeah. You know? I want to feel free. I want
16:57
SPEAKER_00: to feel open. I wanna feel kind. I wana feel playful. Iwana feel healthy.
17:02
SPEAKER_00: Iwanna feel love. Iwwna feel...Iwanna be...I wanna be joy.
17:12
SPEAKER_00: to give yourself permission to go like
17:14
SPEAKER_00: that yeah i don't i'm just gonna let you know what you just witnessed was years
17:19
SPEAKER_00: of work okay so like you know what i mean you see someone do it
17:25
SPEAKER_00: and you're like well you know but that took me years to be able to to hold space
17:30
SPEAKER_00: for myself and indulge myself and give myself space enough that's where joy starts
17:37
SPEAKER_00: and so this mindset of of be do have
17:42
SPEAKER_00: versus have to be is so relevant to the joy jolt conversation yeah because joy isn't
17:51
SPEAKER_00: at the end it is the precursor it is the beginning it is the goal it is the space
17:57
SPEAKER_01: that we start you know but it's also the journey and the end i love it yeah
18:09
SPEAKER_00: because you know what I did going full circle back to my women's circle
18:14
SPEAKER_00: when I was talking about how much I enjoy myself and it's a pleasure I finished that
18:19
SPEAKER_00: by saying and it's even more pleasurable when you're hanging out with people who are
18:26
SPEAKER_00: in their joy and in their pleasure it magnifies like it's not responsible
18:33
SPEAKER_00: but boy it just makes it even more fun
18:35
SPEAKER_00: um and and and it really and it was beautiful to to be in that space
18:40
SPEAKER_00: because everybody does it different yeah yeah you know your joy is going
18:45
SPEAKER_00: to look different than my joy yep but you are a human being capable of joy yeah
18:52
SPEAKER_00: and it's our it's our i think i think joy is our beginning point
18:56
SPEAKER_01: It is. And I would encourage you that if you're listening to this podcast, and maybe
19:03
SPEAKER_01: you do think to yourself, if I ask myself the question of what do I really want?
19:06
SPEAKER_01: And a lot of us will say, I don't know.
19:09
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
19:10
SPEAKER_01: But I would discourage you to rather than think of the things that you want or
19:16
SPEAKER_01: the career that you wants or all that that you'll want, start with how do I
19:20
SPEAKER_01: want to feel first and what is what does that look like for me yeah
19:26
SPEAKER_00: Yeah. And honor what a powerful conversation that is, because that's where life is lived
19:33
SPEAKER_00: is inside the experience of your emotions, your feelings.
19:38
SPEAKER_00: You know, what do you want?
19:40
SPEAKER_01: I also wanted to let you know that maybe you're coming out of a stressful time
19:45
SPEAKER_01: or you're becoming out of, you know, a time that's been very challenging.
19:49
SPEAKER_01: um you know and i had the realization a couple of weeks ago
19:52
SPEAKER_01: that my default had become stress i'm like i'm stressing other stuff i don't even
19:55
SPEAKER_01: know to be stressing over i'm like okay let's rejig this whole situation um
20:02
SPEAKER_01: so it's not like you're gonna start to ask yourself this question and instantly go
20:06
SPEAKER_01: into you know things of gratitude and joy and all that kind of thing be um caring
20:12
SPEAKER_00: and kind with yourself yeah yeah
20:14
SPEAKER_01: amen and because this is a question that i would encourage you to ask yourself for
20:19
SPEAKER_01: the rest of your life yeah you know and the more that you can open and unfold
20:24
SPEAKER_01: and step into that um and and the other thing what i also encourage you
20:29
SPEAKER_01: to do is really acknowledge when you've had a win or when you've had a shift um
20:34
SPEAKER_01: because you know sometimes we you know well i really want to get here i want
20:40
SPEAKER_01: to get up to this point
20:41
SPEAKER_01: and i'm not there yet and we can get very frustrated with ourselves we don't want
20:44
SPEAKER_01: to do that we want to make sure that we're that we're um
20:48
SPEAKER_01: grateful and acknowledging
20:50
SPEAKER_01: and appreciative of all
20:51
SPEAKER_01: the little incremental steps that way.
20:53
SPEAKER_00: Celebrate! There you go, celebrate
20:55
SPEAKER_00: the win. It was my
20:58
SPEAKER_00: 49th birthday
20:59
SPEAKER_00: a few years ago
21:01
SPEAKER_00: it's the greatest photo
21:02
SPEAKER_00: anyway, it's a fun moment
21:05
SPEAKER_00: but I said something during
21:07
SPEAKER_00: my birthday little speech
21:08
SPEAKER_00: that really stuck with me
21:10
SPEAKER_00: and I didn't know it was going to come out of my mouth
21:11
SPEAKER_00: but I say, you know what?
21:13
SPEAKER_00: I love to celebrate because
21:14
SPEAKER_00: when you celebrate, it is ageless
21:17
SPEAKER_00: test.
21:19
SPEAKER_00: yeah you know celebrate and timeless it's ageless it's timeless it's like so
21:25
SPEAKER_00: that what you just said is so joyful it brings so much joy
21:28
SPEAKER_00: because how many times we don't celebrate when we have a small win like oh look
21:33
SPEAKER_00: at me I just took that intentional deep breath instead
21:36
SPEAKER_00: of like saying my first thought like that woo you know like celebrate
21:41
SPEAKER_00: and give yourself give yourself that moment we're so quick to move on to
21:46
SPEAKER_00: the next thing that's right
21:48
SPEAKER_00: this is such a sacred conversation and i'm glad that we're putting it out there in
21:51
SPEAKER_00: the world this way your joy is important and advocating for the joy and the lives of
21:59
SPEAKER_00: the people that you love is important yeah and so thank you for being
22:04
SPEAKER_00: with us here today if you're listening to us on some some other platform other
22:10
SPEAKER_00: than Substack
22:11
SPEAKER_00: we encourage you to meander through the internet and find your way to Substack
22:15
SPEAKER_00: and look us up at the joy jolt nat and sue we're here to give you daily reminders
22:21
SPEAKER_00: that your joy is not just important it's essential
22:26
SPEAKER_01: so um thank you for joining us uh we're going to go into the deeper conversation now
22:30
SPEAKER_01: for our paid subscribers uh uh where we're going to give you some practical tools
22:36
SPEAKER_01: on how you can um you know recognize the the mood and the mode that you're in
22:42
SPEAKER_01: and how you can shift that into something different if you choose to do
22:46
SPEAKER_00: so i'm looking forward to having that
22:50
SPEAKER_01: all right everyone well thanks for joining us and we'll see you in
22:53
SPEAKER_01: the deeper conversation next time