Latest / Birthright: Physiological Birth Stories / 13hr water birth after moving countries 1 week before due date! 2nd birth story
Transcript
- Taylor: Welcome back to another episode of the Birthright Podcast. I'm your host, Taylor Gibson, and today I will be sharing with you my second birth story for my second son. So for my second birth we were in Turkey again and this time we were there during twenty twenty and my husband got there in like September of twenty nineteen, I think. And then we followed up I think in November of twenty nineteen. So me and my first son fly to Turkey and this is at the very beginning of COVID. And so we Fly there by ourselves and my husband I remember then was a little bit nervous for us to fly by ourselves just because of what had been going on. It was like at the very, very beginning. And so we were in Turkey during this time and Turkey was actually one of the very last countries to shut their borders. And so we were Honestly, just hoping that we could stay as long as possible because we obviously needed my husband's paychecks coming in. And thankfully, like I said, Turkey was the last country to shut down. with that being said, I found out I was pregnant three weeks before Turkey decided to close their borders. And leading up into that pregnancy, I had a uterine infection. And so I went to the doctor for that because I was having essentially a lot of like crampy feeling that wouldn't go away. So I went to the doctor and they ended up giving me like a shot and it was so different in Turkey. They had me go to the pharmacy, pick up the shots and then I took the shots in and then they gave me a shot And I remember I had to go four days straight or something like that. And I just thought it was so weird that I had the needles and everything with me, like the actual injections. 'cause that's not really something that we do in the US, you know. Or but I've also never I don't know, maybe the US does do that and I'm just not aware. But it was definitely a foreign concept for me at that time. And so, shortly after, I think a week and a half after I was started to feel fine after the shots and everything. It comes back and I'm like, here we go. Like I thought this was taken care of and now I thought the infection was back. Maybe the antibiotics didn't work or whatever. I was very frustrated. And during that time is like when COVID started, Turkey started having safety measures in place. And so at this point I had to go to the doctor by myself 'cause they were going to give me an ultrasound to see if it was an infection and also to roll out pregnancy. And in my mind pregnancy wasn't even a thought in my mind just because I was like, Well, I just had a uterine infection. How am I gonna be pregnant? I don't know. Anyways. So I go in and the doctor immediately sees it and he's like, Do you see this? And it was just like a little dot on the screen. And I'm like, Yes. And he said, You're pregnant. And I'm just like I almost didn't believe it just because, like I said, I had the uterine infection and then Just such a small dot, I could not believe like how tiny he looked. You know, obviously I know that baby star very small, but it was just surreal to see it. And them telling me that I was pregnant was just like very interesting. And it is interesting because I think seeing him as such a small like dot on the screen, his due date was very, very spot on. He was born a day after his due date, which I thought was kind of interesting. I'm not like super, you know, hooked on due dates and stuff, but I think just seeing him so small, they did like really really get the due date down. Anyways. so I found out I'm pregnant in Turkey and shortly after, I wanna say even like maybe a w a week or two after I found out I was pregnant. No, it maybe yeah, it was probably about a week. Turkey says that they are gonna close their borders and we basically had twenty-four hours to pack up all of our stuff and get on the last flight out of Turkey, or we were gonna be stuck there until their borders were open, and basically all the basketball leagues in the world were already shut down at this point, so there was really no reason for us to stay. in our minds we're like they're not going to open the league back up until this is really went away and we didn't see that in the near future. And then also it was in April, And so the basketball season really only had about two to three months left anyways. And so we're like, we're just gonna go home So we get back and this honestly was my easiest pregnancy. I think just being home and being surrounded by food that I liked. And obviously I felt a major sense of safety being home, Especially with like the state of the world. It was just kind of a crazy time. And so my morning sickness wasn't bad. I think I only threw up five six times versus my first pregnancy where it was five six times a day. This was a total. And so I felt really good. we were in Manhattan for the summer and so I received a lot of my first trimester prenatal care in Manhattan. And I will just say that The OBGYN was probably like the rudest doctor I've ever met. I mean, I haven't met a lot of doctors, but I remember she was in there for maybe ten minutes, and because I was asking questions, she was just so annoyed and mad at me for asking a question. I remember I asked her about breastfeeding because I was still breastfeeding while pregnant. And she told me that if I didn't stop immediately, I was going to kill the baby inside of me and that my baby that was already on the outside was fine. And that was so insane to me. I was not ready to stop breastfeeding my oldest. And I actually did not take her advice and I kept breastfeeding well after the cutoff date that she had told me because I breastfed him up until I was into my third trimester and it was a really hard time for me because I like I said, he wasn't ready and I wasn't ready and it just seemed really unfair. Knowing what I know now, I would have just breastfed him until He was ready to be done. I would have tandem fed both of my boys together. but I didn't know, and so I didn't. Anyway, so my prenatal care in the US was pretty standard. I mean, I didn't really do much just because I was only here for my first trimester and l think a tiny bit of my second. And so after we spend the summer in Manhattan. We end up going to Mexico because they start their season early, we got there in early August and I will just say they were kind of psychotic about COVID. Like I I wasn't in the US for a lot of of it. But they had a so you could go into the mall, but everything was like boarded off. So if you wanted something you had to ask a worker to hand it to there was no trying anything on like it was what's the even what's the point of even having this store open because everybody's still in here but you guys just have everything taped off it was really strange and then I remember in the city center you could walk around but they would have essentially in all of the entryways and all of the exits to the city center had these big basically sprinklers that were over it that essentially had like germ X in it. Obviously not germx, but it was like a sanitizing solution and people were walking under them like and their bodies were spraying off. I remember people would literally stand under it. And just let all this chemical concoction just spray all over them. And I just remember thinking this is very strange. I personally would walk around them and not let them spray me or my son if we were walking. And I remember getting like the most filthy looks and I did not care. I'm just like I am not I don't know what this is. It's not gonna be sprayed on me. But anyways. we yeah. They had that. I wasn't allowed to go into any grocery stores. I could go t into the mall but I couldn't go into the grocery store. my son wasn't allowed anywhere in anywhere because he was considered high risk because he was a technically still a baby 'cause he wasn't two yet. and so basically all we could do was, you know, walk around outside. and they still wanted you to have your mask on outside and that it was it was so frustrating. I mean a lot of people would have like their nose out and stuff, obviously that was me too, but they you would just be in trouble if you didn't and so I don't know. Anyways, that was my time in Mexico as far as that pregnancy. It was pretty boring. I mean, it was just really a time for me and my son to hang out because my husband was gone a lot for games because Mexico League is very strenuous. I mean, there's back to back games, like four games a week. And so, one thing I was gonna say is at this point I still didn't know anything about home birth, but during COVID me and my husband joined an MLM kind of like everybody did at some point. And one of the things was you need to get an Instagram. I hadn't had Instagram since 2017. And so at this point it had been like three years and I hadn't had any social media. And so I think home birth was probably definitely on the rise around those times. But like I said, I didn't have any social media so it was something that I hadn't been exposed to yet. And so when I created that Instagram, I started seeing home birth and I'm like, this is interesting. And I at that point I was still seeing my doctor in Mexico. basically I didn't know about home birth until around my third trimester. And there I was basically saving like the standard OBGYN care because that's all I knew about and that's what myhusband's team had helped me find. And so I was still going with the standard model of care with my prenatal care and Even though I did not love how my first birth went, I felt like this time I was just going to stay at home. This is like my plan going into birth is I was gonna stay at home as long as possible. I was going to refuse everything and I wasn't going to accept it and I was just going to do my best. That was literally my plan after what had happened to me with my first birth. and that's why I'm like so grateful I did join that MLM, even though it was I wouldn't suggest it for anybody. I am happy because that's what led me to create a new Instagram account. And then obviously like all the home birth stuff started flooding in. And immediately I'm like, yeah, this this seems like something I would want. I don't want to be with this doctor. I I didn't really I kept stressing to him that I wanted a natural birth and everything. And he was very reassuring. And so I actually did feel comfortable with him just because he was basically saying, I don't really I don't like doing C-sections, you know, that's my last resort. And so that made me feel really comfortable. But then right around my third trimester, like I said, that's when I found out about home birth. And my next appointment with him, I think I had just found out about it and I started doing my research 'cause I'm like, my gosh, if I could do this, you know. But I couldn't find anything in my area for home birth midwives. And it can be really hard when you're in another country. I think I said this in the last episode, doing your research just because it doesn't always translate and you you can't always find what you're looking for. And so I asked him, I said, Hey, are there any home birth midwives around here? And when I tell you I literally saw demons in his eyes, he was so upset with me for asking that. He said that no, you can go to Mexico City or you can go to El Paso and that's your only option. So I'm sorry. And he I don't know. He was just like really upset with me for asking that. And then in that same that same appointment, I just felt every bone in my body being done. I knew right then and there he was not going to be the doctor that I gave birth with. Like something was gonna change. That this was not gonna be this wasn't gonna happen. And I remember him saying at the end of that appointment with me that if I had tested positive for COVID, because we were starting to get towards the end of my pregnancy. And he told me that and honestly, I wanna say this was when I found out about home birth, I would probably say I was about halfway over with my third trimester. yeah, because of just how everything unfolded so quickly. And so He told me that if I tested positive for COVID that I wouldn't be able to see my baby for 14 days. And when I tell you that him and I had a staring contest, this is not something that I I'm not normally call confrontational like at all. And it's normally my husband the one. Like if he feels like somebody is like that, like he'll he calls it a staring contest. But me and this doctor and my husband was probably uncomfortable. I'm like staring him in his eyes and he's staring at me and I just wait until he says something else because I am like, No this is not going to happen. I don't care. And at mind you, at this point, my husband had to take a coba test before every single game. And I think he had tested positive like at least three times and never had a single symptom and he had multiple teammates that had had false positives and I was not about to, chance a false positive COVID test and not see my baby and have my milk supply messed up for 14 days. I literally said that you will have to kill me before I allow that to happen. Like you you won't do you're not going to do that. And That was the last appointment I had with him. I was not going to go back to him. And it came down to I think the last two weeks of my pregnancy, I told my husband, I said, I'm just letting you know that I do not plan on going to the hospital to give birth. At this point in Mexico, they weren't allowing the players. Normally overseas they have us, in a home, they rent an apartment or a home And because of the situation they had all of the players and their families in hotels, in the same hotel, so that nobody could leave. They could kinda like manage us at this point. And so I told my husband, I said, just so you know, I am really thinking that I'm going to have this baby in the shower of this hotel by myself and I will just tell them that I went into labor and, had this baby on accident and I don't really understand what I was thinking at this point because we would have had to go to the doctor at some point after that, most likely, because we would have had to get, the baby's birth certificate and everything, because you can't just take a baby, across the border without proper documentation. So I would have had to, and so they still could have done that test. But in my mind, I'm thinking like I I don't know. I don't know what I was thinking. But I just think it's interesting because I didn't even know that was considered a free birth. So this is kind of like foreshadowing the fact that I was comfortable enough to do it in the future, which I did with my fourth. But I was just going to say that, you know, I it was an accident in the hotel room and just pray essentially that they would let me keep my baby with whatever the result of the test was. And my husband believed me when I said it because he knows his wife. He knows that if I say I'm gonna do something, that he could probably bet on that, you know, and in my mind I'm like planning it all out. Like how is this gonna happen? What if I'm too loud because we're in a hotel room? what if somebody calls the cops? You know what I'm saying? I'm trying to process everything and I know that I'm about to give birth in two weeks. And then I know for a fact that I am not going back to the hospital. So I'm trying to figure it out. And so at this point once I tell my husband that I think like a day or two later, because my grandma, my Mimi had came in a week before my due date. So during this whole week I told so the two weeks leading up, I told him that week and so he kinda had a week to ponder what we were going to do. And my grandma's there and I can already tell that she's kind of getting frustrated because we're in a hotel room, it's kinda dark. You know how hotel rooms can be. We can't go anywhere, can't see anything. I mean, it was just not really ideal. I don't know, it was a whole ordeal. And so At this point COVID is getting bad again, because it's the fall season and so their season comes to a standstill and the team tells the players that they are welcome to go home and whenever the season opens back up, then we could come back. But they didn't want to basically hold players hostage in hotel room, not being able to do anything. And I have a week left. Until my due date. And we basically me, and my husband decide okay, we're just gonna go home. this is our opportunity to go home. I'm gonna find a midwife, hopefully. I was totally just going on a whim here. And I was still more comfortable being in the US than in Mexico to give birth. And so we tell my meme like hey we are deciding to go home and give birth. I don't wanna do it here. And so we pack everything up and we get on the next flight out that we possibly can, all of us, all four of us, because it was my son too. And Before we take off, I'm in the airport. I emailed every midwife in Wichita that I could find. And by the time we landed, I had a couple emails back to me. I think like two of them said that they couldn't. It was too short of a notice. But the midwife that I found, she at the time had taken off. Because she was helping her daughter plan for her wedding. and so she had extra time and she took me in and I had a week and I saw her one time. We had an appointment. I remember my husband, we were there for like an hour, maybe l little bit maybe a little bit longer than that. And my husband is like, after we're done, and obviously like I really Clicked well with this midwife. Her name is Ginger Young. If you are looking for a amazing midwife in Wichita, Kansas, she was really great, and you'll hear more about her later. But yeah, so we had our first appointment with her, and then my husband was confused on why we were there for so long. He wasn't mad or anything, he was just like Were we there too long? he felt like we were intruding on their space. But that is the midwifery model of care, you know, they want to get to know you, they wanna listen to you, they wanna hear you. And so both of us I think we were both starting to feel uncomfortable just because we didn't wanna take up the time 'cause I wasn't even truly informed of what it meant to have a midwife. 'Cause obviously, It was just a few weeks that I had even from start to finish that I had even learned about a midwife. And so after our first appointment or our only appointment, I go into labor the day after my due date. And mind you, we are in a Airbnb because we just got back, we had nowhere to stay. So we're in a Airbnb and We told our midwife and she didn't care. She's like, we clean up everything. It's really not a big deal. It's not uncommon and I was like, Okay, I thought she was gonna think that we were some freaks, but she she didn't care. And so, I go into labor as soon as I lay down, it's like eleven PM, we had a late night that night, and so start going into labor and I'm like, okay and it starts pretty slow and it gets to like two AM and I told my husband, I'm like, okay, I think it's time to call I'd let her know that hey, I felt my first contraction. Don't really know if anything will happen, but I'll keep you updated. And so it was around two thirty ish AM when I'm like, hey, can you please call the midwife and let her know that I think I need her? And so, she gets there shortly after and I'm just letting my husband and my son sleep and I'm just kinda going through it. they come in, they set up the birth pool. I get in almost immediately. and it felt so good. her and my husband, For whatever reason the hose attachment wasn't working to any of the things, so they filled up the whole berth pool with a pot. It was kind of a small pot too, but they did it. Well, they had like a couple of pots in bowls And they filled the whole pool up for me while I'm laboring and it felt so good to be in the water and Honestly this labor was pretty uneventful. I mean, my son eventually wakes up and he's just chilling and my husband gets him breakfast and I'm in the water for the majority of the time and ginger, my midwife, she's so hands off, which is exactly what I really needed. I mean, I didn't even know that I could birth in such a way. It was really So nice. I just felt like I could relax and the water took so much pressure off. the only thing that she and I'm not gonna say interfered with, but the only times I knew that she was there was she told me that I should maybe like switch positions for a little bit and it's true I needed to. I was only laying on my side, like I just wanted to be on my side the whole time. But once I got off my side things started to progress, you know, a lot more. And then obviously she checked the baby's heartbeat a couple times. But other than that, she was like super hands off and let me basically just be and let my body work and That was really nice for me. I remember at one point I asked her, Do you need to check me? And she was like, I can, but I don't need to. If you want, you could even check yourself. And I'm like, Really? She was like, Yeah, of course. And so, I felt and I could feel the sack. I could even feel his hair through the sack and I'm like, Okay, well, so we're we're getting close here. And honestly, this birth, it wasn't pain free. I don't think that birth is supposed to be pain free. I will admit that. it was very intense, but I wouldn't say that it was unbearable. And I was so mentally strong going into it because I had done a lot of mental stuff leading up to my birth and I just felt very mentally strong and I think that made all the difference. in this birth, especially looking at my four births altogether, this was by far the most mentally strong I was. And because I was so mentally strong, I was on top of every single wave and contraction. I mean, there was a couple I let go and then immediately I'm like, okay, I let those go. Let's come back. And I was able to do that, you know, pretty much by myself. And so that was just a really dramatic change from my last birth and what really propelled me forward into this work, honestly. And so I get to the point where I tell my midwife, hey, I'm really starting to feel pushy. I feel like I need to push. And obviously I haven't felt that before because of the epidural with my previous birth. And she was like, Okay, you can push if you want, just, let me know. And I'm like, well I don't feel like I need to push too hard. And she was like, just do what feels good to you. So I'm just kind of bearing down for a little bit. And then at one point I tell her, I think I just need to break my water. And she was like, Okay, go ahead and push and you can break it. And I'm like, Okay, great. And so that's what I do. And I just remember it was a pretty intense push and just a huge gush. And you just like see stuff like floating in the water. It was really really kind of crazy to see. And I'm like, dang, I just did that. And I'm like, I felt so much better. Like so much pressure was off. And then after I did that, shortly after I'm like, Okay, now it's actually time to push And she was like, Okay, you're free to push and then that's when she comes over to the birth pool and my husband gets the camera ready and we get over there and it was less than ten minutes pushing. I will say that the only part that really threw me for a shock, not a shock, but threw me in I don't know, threw me off. I get to the point of pushing. And this was the hardest part for me, truthfully. and this labor, I will say, only lasted 13 hours. So 13 hours versus 53, this was a cakewalk for me. genuinely a cakewalk. Like this didn't even count as a labor because it was so much more smooth than my last one. so I get to the point of pushing, where he's crowning and I'm feeling the ring of fire and my midwife is like she can tell she knows she knows what's happening and she says don't be afraid of it. hold on before we get to the point of pushing, I get to the point of I can't do this. And even though the contractions were not the worst that they could have been, I still hit the point of transition and I'm just like, I can't do this anymore. Why did I decide to do this? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then that's when I pushed my water out and I'm like, okay, we're good now. This is fine. but right before that transition, I remember I was almost sleeping in the water and I felt so relaxed. And it was super nice. I'm sorry. I'm like jumping everywhere, but like the details are coming. And so fast forward back to the pushing, she she tells me, don't be afraid of it. It's gonna be okay. And I'm just like, my gosh. I was so afraid of it. I was trying to like jump out of my body honestly or out of the pool. I don't know. And so I'm holding on to the sides of the pool and I'm like, my gosh, this This really hurts. And so I get the head out. And I remember as soon as I get the head out, I say, Get him out of me. And looking back, I'm like, ew, that was so cringy. Obviously I'm the one that has to do it, but I'm a woman in labor and we say the darndest things. And so she just she doesn't say anything. She's just sitting there and she's just patiently waiting. And so then my next surge comes and I get him out and he just goes into the water and he is so wrapped up in his cord, it's wrapped around his stomach twice, around his shoulder. And it was he was kinda bruised because of it. And she gets him out and she like has to untangle him underneath the water and then she immediately puts him on my chest and Honestly, I mean she did take him just because she said he was a little bit stunned, which I probably I don't know. I don't know if I would have done anything. I think he would have been okay, but she gets his first cry out and she puts him back on me and we're just in the birth pool and I just remember like, my gosh, I called my other son over there and I'm like, This is your brother, this is your brother and my husband is cheering me on and it was just such a dramatic difference from the first one. And even just seeing my husband's excitement and my son's excitement I was so happy that my son even got to be there because I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. He was like, Baby, baby. he was so intrigued by it. And so I'm happy that he got to witness it. He's gotten to witness all of his siblings be born. And it was just such a good family moment and I just remember feeling so good. Like genuinely so good. And so then I birthed the placenta and then I get out the water. I ended up tearing on the same spot where I had been cut previously, and my midwife was like, I think that we should stitch this up just because it is in such a tender spot, you can just tell. And so I ended up getting stitched up. They helped me get in the shower and I just remember they have everything cleaned up and this was like the first time, obviously, that I've just felt I don't know, I just it was like the best feeling. I can't really describe it. In the midst of the chaos of the world but also in our personal lives, just getting there, being in an Airbnb, trying to figure out where we're gonna live and 'cause we don't know when my husband's gonna go back overseas, we don't know basically how our life is gonna plan out. we're just going with the flow. But in the midst of all that, having that home birth experience was just something that was invaluable and something that I couldn't have planned out better for myself and I I know that it could seem irresponsible the decision making and everything, but it was not. I mean it was fully me surrendering to the most high and and knowing that he was going to take care of me even though at that time I wasn't fully in my faith but I knew that I had to trust the feelings that I was feeling and go with what felt right and that was the only thing that felt right. And I'm so happy that my husband listened to me because it changed the trajectory of how we gave birth to our subsequent children. And it was just so nice. And it kinda made me sad because I will say my family thought I was crazy for it. I had people saying that, she just thinks you know, the doctors are gonna kill her and I've never once said that ever. I never even put that into the air or spoke something so crazy. and so that postpartum I was really like by myself just because a lot of my family was talking very poorly of me and my decisions and me and my husband and just thinking that we were lunatics and Yeah, I don't know. But I'm still grateful for how that experience went and like I said I'm very thankful for my midwife for allowing me to really take control of my situation not that I feel like I really had full control I never believed that I surrendered to the most high Yahuwah fully but I'm very grateful that I had her and she was the one that really showed me what birth could be and how it should be. And that is another reason that when I say physiological birth, I am not only talking about free birth like some people will have you think. And I'm not only talking about home birth. I'm talking about physiological birth when it's left undisrupted. And I believe that if you have a really good midwife, she can leave your birth undisrupted and a good midwife knows when you need her help and she's not going to bombard you or She's not going to take over. And I feel like my midwife was a very good example of that. I didn't know that at the time, but I'm grateful that it was her and that nobody else accepted the challenge of taking on a person a week before. Thankfully, she did. And like I said, it's definitely got us to where we are now. And I'm forever grateful for that. yeah, like I said, this birth story was very eventful, but also very non-eventful at the same time in its own ways. And I hope that you can take something from it in knowing that even if something isn't working out, it's okay. Even if it's a week before you give birth, you can change your mind and you can put your trust in the most high and have him lead you into his will for you in your birth and your baby and don't be afraid to take that step and listen to what your gut is telling you truthfully people are gonna call you crazy, people might call you crazy, but if you know that something's wrong. get get out of that situation and pivot. It's never too late to pivot. And the fear piece. Don't be afraid to pivot. fear is a major disruptor of physiological birth. And if that is your desired outcome, you have to let the fear go. And sometimes that even means Taking yourself out of a situation that is fearful. I was very fearful to give birth in Mexico. And so, that's just the truth. I was very fearful of that. And making the change made all the difference for me. And so if that's the one lesson that you can get from this is to take that chance and to go with what feels right to you you'll be fine. obviously none of this is medical advice. Nothing I ever share is medical advice, just my own stories. And also not telling you what to do. You can hear these things and listen to them and make your own wise choices and decisions. With that, that's really all I have for today. It was pretty a short and sweet birth. next time I'll be sharing my third birth. It was a another home birth in Israel with a midwife. And I call that one my fast and furious birth because it was. And yeah, that's all I have. I will say that if you like this podcast, please leave a review, share it with your friends. I am looking forward to after I finish up my own births getting into interviewing other women who have had physiological births, whether that is a free birth or a physiological birth with a midwife, I am wanting to share those stories. and so if you go to my website and you click the birthright podcast, there is a form. that you can fill out and I will get back to you and we can set up a schedule for an interview and we will get you on the show. And this is where I'm going to leave you. this is all I have for today and I will look forward to seeing you soon.