Latest / Adventures in Adversity: an inspirational podcast / Ep. 49: Raheel Siddiqui on losing 200 pounds, becoming a "Wall Breaker", finding self-love, & more

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Ep. 49: Raheel Siddiqui on losing 200 pounds, becoming a "Wall Breaker", finding self-love, & more · Adventures in Adversity: an inspirational podcast

• 0:01
  Hello, we are back with another episode of the Adventures and
• 0:05
  Adversity podcast. This is a podcast where we
• 0:09
  feature real people, true stories and provide daily
• 0:14
  inspiration for everybody out there for ourselves, for you to
• 0:18
  get through life's toughest adversity, which we know comes
• 0:21
  in many, many different forms at different times.
• 0:25
  So I am so happy. I just got chills again because
• 0:28
  I am always so excited when someone wants to share their
• 0:32
  story with me. And that someone is Raheel.
• 0:35
  Raheel Siddiqui. Yeah.
• 0:37
  So, so nice to meet you and have you on the show.
• 0:40
  Thank you. Thanks for having me excited to
• 0:42
  be here. And you got the name down
• 0:43
  perfectly on the first kill shot.
• 0:45
  So thank you so much. I'm honored you.
• 0:47
  I used to, Rachel, but, you know, you finally got it.
• 0:49
  So thank you so much. And you didn't even practice.
• 0:54
  Yeah, I. Didn't even practice either, I
• 0:56
  knew it well. My name.
• 0:58
  Brienne nobody gets. I usually get like Brianna,
• 1:01
  Brianna or I'll be like, it's Bri and they're like Marie, I'm
• 1:04
  like no Bri. Bri Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:07
  Love it. Love it.
• 1:08
  Short and sweet. Right to it.
• 1:09
  Yep. Yep.
• 1:10
  So Raheel, we were. I'm so glad we were connected.
• 1:15
  Your publicity person reached out to me on behalf of you
• 1:20
  saying you really need to hear Raheel's story and I'm always so
• 1:26
  grateful when somebody finds the podcast and has a story like
• 1:32
  yours and is open and willing to share it so authentically.
• 1:36
  So I I watched your Ted talk called the wall the wall breaker
• 1:40
  the. Wall breaker.
• 1:41
  That's right, man. That's how we do it.
• 1:43
  That's how we do it. There was one image and one
• 1:47
  thing you described in your story, and I'm going to let you
• 1:49
  start it and I'm going to be quiet.
• 1:51
  It's hard for me, as my husband knows it's hard for me to stop
• 1:54
  talking. There was an image where you
• 1:55
  talked about lowering your shoulder and just breaking
• 1:59
  through the wall, and I literally was like, Oh my gosh,
• 2:03
  the audience is going to hear your story.
• 2:06
  The way you tell it to is so authentic.
• 2:08
  You've gone through a lot of different forms of adversity in
• 2:11
  your life, and I'm just going to let you tell your story and I'm
• 2:15
  going to stop you and I'm going to ask questions.
• 2:17
  I know by the end of this we're going to be jazzed for the
• 2:20
  weekend and inspired to break down some walls.
• 2:23
  I. Appreciate it.
• 2:24
  Yeah. No, thank you.
• 2:25
  One of the biggest walls that you talked about in your story
• 2:30
  and that you you tell your story, you're a speaker, you
• 2:32
  speaking at high schools, you speak at all kinds of events,
• 2:36
  podcasts as battling obesity. So take me through your journey.
• 2:42
  And I know that was one wall you broke down, and then more walls
• 2:45
  came after that. Correct.
• 2:47
  Yeah, exactly. Talking about your journey.
• 2:50
  Yeah, for sure. No, thank you so much.
• 2:51
  And again, thank you for having me really excited, fired up to
• 2:54
  be here. So you get through it.
• 2:56
  I can't believe it. It's like, where did the time
• 2:58
  go? You know, when you go, when you
• 2:59
  think about like your story and your history and your journey
• 3:01
  and you're kind of like man, like, is it real?
• 3:04
  Because sometimes you don't feel like it's real.
• 3:05
  But. But yeah, no, I appreciate it.
• 3:07
  So again, Raheel Siddiqui. So, you know, originally born
• 3:10
  and raised in New York, Long Island, Go Knicks with the hat
• 3:13
  on. And yeah, I got the accent, got
• 3:16
  the swag, got the looks, got it all.
• 3:18
  You know, so my wife would tell me, stop feeding your head a
• 3:21
  little too much. But, you know, she's not here,
• 3:23
  Bree. So we'll keep that between us
• 3:24
  like we were talking about. Exactly.
• 3:29
  Exactly. Yeah.
• 3:30
  No. But then, you know, But luckily,
• 3:31
  I was able to move, you know, to the Baltimore area.
• 3:34
  And I'm here like the in the DMV space.
• 3:35
  We call in DC, Maryland, Virginia, that's how we like to
• 3:38
  call it in the tri-state area. So been here pretty much since
• 3:40
  1994. But as you said, you know, I
• 3:43
  guess from the start of the journey from birth, you know, I
• 3:46
  was born in 1982, you know, 9/1/82.
• 3:48
  And, you know, nearly my entire life from birth, adolescence,
• 3:52
  middle school, high school, college, post college, I was
• 3:55
  battling obesity nearly my entire life, you know, was
• 3:58
  always overweight, had a huge weight problem just, and could
• 4:02
  never really figure it out, you know, and, you know, my father
• 4:04
  was, you know, the one guy that was always in my ear.
• 4:07
  And you know, of course, you know, both my parents were but
• 4:09
  my father and particularly, but because he was a pharmacist,
• 4:11
  right? So he was in the healthcare
• 4:13
  industry, so he would have patients come.
• 4:14
  He was really well educated, really well versed on, you know,
• 4:17
  health awareness, you know, fitness, mental health, physical
• 4:20
  health in particular. So he was the one guy that was
• 4:22
  always in my ear. But, you know, nonetheless
• 4:24
  battle obesity nearly my entire life.
• 4:26
  And then up until January 2010, I, you know, hit my peak weight
• 4:30
  of 405 lbs. And, you know, I remember one
• 4:33
  day, you know, my father came looking at me and he was like,
• 4:36
  whoa, it just hit him like a ton of bricks.
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  Like, man, like you're my youngest son, you know, I gotta
• 4:41
  go get you checked out, man. Like this is getting out of
• 4:43
  hand. And sometimes that's what it
• 4:44
  takes, right? I mean, sometimes when you know,
• 4:46
  you know, or, you know, or it's like, I should preference it.
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  Like sometimes you don't know what's in front of you until you
• 4:53
  can really just see it in a certain moment.
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  I think with me just seeing me in that moment and you know how
• 4:58
  much heavier I got, I was breathing heavy.
• 5:01
  And I think it just hit him at that moment.
• 5:02
  Like, we got to take action like now.
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  And I have two older siblings and you know, luckily for them,
• 5:07
  you know, they grew up pretty much healthy and, you know,
• 5:10
  pretty much normal, I guess I would say, you know, if the
• 5:12
  safest term, you know, pretty much their whole life it was
• 5:14
  just me. So either way, got my blood work
• 5:17
  done, went to go see the doctor a few days later.
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  And you know, if anyone knows me, I'm notoriously known for
• 5:22
  this part of the story. So went to go see the doctor and
• 5:25
  the doctor had a folder in his hand with my results.
• 5:28
  So all my results in there. Looked up at my father and I
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  looked down at the folder, flipped the pages of the results
• 5:34
  of, you know, in my folder and closed the folder.
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  Shut through the folder on the counter and looked at my father
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  and I and said, it doesn't matter what these results say,
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  your son's going to be dead by the time he's 40.
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  Anyways. We're just wasting our time now.
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  And that was it. And and if you heard my line, I
• 5:51
  really stick to it. I'm like, man, you know, there
• 5:53
  goes your five star review doc. You know, where's Yelp at right
• 5:56
  now when you need it? Talk about bedside Manor, man.
• 6:00
  Jesus, like, wow, you know, and that was a real shock and that
• 6:04
  was it. I never knew my scores like not
• 6:06
  my hemoglobin, not my sugar cholesterol, nothing.
• 6:08
  I didn't know. Anything.
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  It doesn't matter. This is what?
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  Matter. Yeah, because, I mean, he looked
• 6:12
  at me. He just saw like, this guy isn't
• 6:13
  taking a series of 27 years. Why is he going to take it
• 6:16
  serious now? You know, that was his
• 6:17
  mentality. I don't know if that was his at
• 6:19
  that time. Yeah, I don't know if that was
• 6:21
  his mentality to try to try to get through to me or what he was
• 6:24
  trying to do. But that was it.
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  Really cold. My dad and the doctor went off
• 6:27
  to the side for a minute or two, tops, and they chatted and then
• 6:30
  we left. And then, yeah, I think this is
• 6:33
  where it really hits. So like driving home, about
• 6:35
  halfway home, my father looked at me.
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  He was like, hey, listen, I need you to pull the car over.
• 6:39
  I said, why is everything OK? He said, no, listen, I need you
• 6:41
  to pull the car over. Pull it over now.
• 6:43
  Said OK. So I pulled the car over and I
• 6:46
  looked at him. I said, what's going on?
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  He's like, listen, you know, I need you to take this seriously.
• 6:50
  And, you know, I told people this all the time.
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  I'm a dad now too. So I the typical like, father,
• 6:54
  son, you know, parent, child, like, roll your eyes when your
• 6:57
  parents are lecturing. Yeah.
• 6:59
  And one ear, not the other. But then he was like, no, he
• 7:01
  like, grabbed my hand and he was like, had tears down his eyes.
• 7:04
  And listen, you know, I need you to take this seriously.
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  Like I'm running out of time, you know, I'm not going to be
• 7:09
  there to see you get married. I'm not going to be there to see
• 7:11
  you have kids. Like I'm not going to be here
• 7:13
  for any of this. But you still have time.
• 7:15
  You still have time to take control of your health.
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  And you have to promise me and and we won't go home until you
• 7:20
  promise me. And that's when I saw like tears
• 7:22
  in his eyes. And for the first time in my
• 7:24
  life, like I really was like, wow, I've never seen him in that
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  state. Like desperation, you know, like
• 7:30
  one last grasp maybe at that time, you know, in his mind.
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  So I said, OK, dad, like stop crying.
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  You know, I don't want you to cry.
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  So I was like, OK, I promise. You know, I promise no matter
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  what. So we drove home and he went
• 7:42
  upstairs. And at that time, you know, he
• 7:43
  was battling a lot of health issues at that time, you know,
• 7:45
  my daddy's body was really breaking down.
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  So at that moment, he was like, look, you know, I mean, that's
• 7:50
  just how we felt in the moment. So I said, OK, sure.
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  So then even still, you know, I tried, man, I really did.
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  You know, we got home and I got to work.
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  You know, I, I went to the local, you know, college track
• 8:00
  by my house. I went to the field by my
• 8:02
  school. I even joined a local gym.
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  Tried and failed. Tried and failed.
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  Tried for a long time, even for months.
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  And I kept trying, but then nothing seemed to work.
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  And so, you know, really close friend of mine found a local gym
• 8:15
  and he was like, hey, listen, man, like a few of us are
• 8:17
  joining this, you know, state-of-the-art gym.
• 8:19
  Why don't you come? It'll be fun.
• 8:20
  Maybe, you know, it can, you know, Yeah, it'll be it'll be
• 8:23
  fun to hang out. We can all be together.
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  So I was like, OK, cool. You know, in my mind I was like,
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  OK, look, I tried everything else on my own.
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  Let me see if I can make this work, you know, drawing with my
• 8:31
  boys, you know, obviously that'd be a great opportunity.
• 8:33
  And why not? You know, it's like, it's like
• 8:35
  anything in life when you try every other alternative and
• 8:37
  nothing is working out. What what do you have to lose at
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  this point? That was kind of like my
• 8:40
  mindset, you know, like nothing else has worked.
• 8:43
  I have nothing else to lose. Let's just go for it.
• 8:44
  Yes. So join the gym and you know, in
• 8:47
  this part, I didn't talk about my TE DX but would love to share
• 8:50
  here was yeah, you know, I remember I went to the first day
• 8:53
  of the gym and I saw a sign on the wall and it said team weight
• 8:56
  loss class. And I was like, huh?
• 8:57
  And it literally was for people just like me, people who were,
• 9:00
  you know, very out of shape, out of shape overweight, who needed
• 9:04
  help, who needed like that pure jumpstart, right, Because
• 9:06
  everyone looks basic. I told people the hardest step
• 9:09
  in life is the first step. You know, in any journey in your
• 9:11
  entire life, the hardest step is the first step to really
• 9:14
  crossing that line, breaking that first wall down and taking
• 9:17
  the first step to admitting you have a problem.
• 9:20
  Let's go find the solution, taking the first step towards
• 9:22
  that. So I said, OK, cool.
• 9:24
  So the class was three days a week, signed up.
• 9:26
  I was like, let's do it. And I remember the first day of
• 9:28
  class, I walked up the stairs like wheezing, huffing and
• 9:31
  puffing. But I remember the trainer
• 9:33
  specifically that day. And I remember she was telling
• 9:35
  me, OK, guys, it's the first day of class.
• 9:38
  Everybody has to go up on the scale and you have to announce
• 9:40
  your weight to the entire class, announce your name and announce
• 9:43
  your weight. And at that time, I'm like, Oh
• 9:44
  my God, dude. You're like.
• 9:46
  Really I was like, is it too late to get my deposit back?
• 9:51
  There goes your five star reviews.
• 9:54
  You know, can I get my deposit back for class?
• 9:57
  Because I didn't know what this was part of the whole thing.
• 9:58
  And I went to her and I remember specifically I was like, listen,
• 10:02
  Mel, like, you know, I was like, please don't make me do this,
• 10:04
  man. Like, dude, I'm just, you know,
• 10:06
  I'm going through some hard times right now.
• 10:08
  No, I do not want to do this. And she was like, she's like
• 10:10
  literally grabbed me. She's like Raheel, look, I know
• 10:12
  you're going to hate me for this and I know how bad you feel, but
• 10:15
  I promise you one thing. As bad as you feel now, when you
• 10:18
  get to the other side of this journey, you're going to love
• 10:21
  telling this part of the story. I promise.
• 10:23
  And you know what? She was right.
• 10:24
  She was right because I love telling this part of the story.
• 10:27
  You know, she was so right. I can't even tell you right, 15
• 10:30
  1/2 year or 15 years later. Go figure.
• 10:32
  So I went up there and I told the class my name is Raheel
• 10:35
  Siddiqui, and I weigh 405 lbs. And I remember like, everyone
• 10:39
  kind of looking like, wow, you know, like, you know, kind of
• 10:41
  feeling bad. They could tell I was sad.
• 10:43
  I was heartbroken because nobody wants to announce that to the
• 10:45
  world. Right.
• 10:46
  You know, to tell everybody a room full of people that you
• 10:49
  don't know strangers for the first time.
• 10:51
  So it was really, you know, really defeating, right?
• 10:54
  So I. Commend you.
• 10:55
  You did it. I did.
• 10:57
  It was tough, man. It was real tough for me.
• 10:59
  Walls are nothing, you know, but you know, they're meant to be
• 11:02
  broken. I tell everybody that all the
• 11:03
  time. You got to find a way to break
• 11:04
  it down South. That was one big wall I broke
• 11:06
  down. And then I think that was, you
• 11:08
  know, just a really hard part. But going home cried, got to the
• 11:12
  car. Forget that.
• 11:13
  Even before I got home, got to the car, crying, driving home,
• 11:15
  crying, got home crying. And I and I said to myself, OK,
• 11:19
  here comes the quitter again in because I've been a quitter
• 11:21
  nearly my whole life up until that point.
• 11:22
  I was like, man, forget this, I don't want to do this, but you
• 11:25
  know, I made a promise to my dad and I feel like that always
• 11:27
  stuck in the back of my mind. So whatever button was in my
• 11:30
  brain, in my heart at that time that made me get up and go back
• 11:33
  and do it again. So I was like, OK, let's do it
• 11:35
  again. So I committed, I was like, I'm
• 11:36
  going to go for it. So I just did the team weight
• 11:38
  loss class three days a week, one hour a day.
• 11:41
  And then we have weekly weigh insurance.
• 11:42
  And I remember the first week, you know, the trainer was like,
• 11:45
  man, you actually lost like 5 lbs this week.
• 11:46
  And I was like, oh, OK, wow, that's pretty impressive.
• 11:48
  So I then in my mind, OK, what if I just come to the gym every
• 11:52
  single day, just do a little extra on my own on my off days
• 11:55
  and then come to team weight loss class.
• 11:57
  Let's see what the results are. Let me just finally commit to
• 11:59
  something, you know. So I did it.
• 12:01
  I committed one whole week and I remember weekly weigh in and
• 12:04
  Week 2 and I remember the trainer looking at me and him
• 12:07
  and I was a different trainer at that time.
• 12:08
  And then we looked at each other and I was like, all right, man,
• 12:10
  like is it good or bad? I was like, you're killing me
• 12:12
  here because I was like, I've been working my ass off all
• 12:14
  week, man. Like, you know, don't tell me
• 12:16
  it's broken. And he's like, no, man, you lost
• 12:18
  like 17 lbs this week. And at that time, I was like,
• 12:21
  oh, my God. So you know what, Breathe.
• 12:23
  That was the first time in my life where I was like, you know
• 12:25
  what? I actually didn't quit.
• 12:27
  You know, for the first time in my life, I was like, I actually
• 12:30
  did something. I actually was able to take that
• 12:33
  wall of obesity and break it down.
• 12:35
  Not for the sense of breaking it down, Like, I'm not where I want
• 12:39
  to be in that moment. But I took the first step, you
• 12:41
  know? And I think that's when I knew,
• 12:43
  OK, man, I can do this, right? I don't have to be a quitter.
• 12:47
  You know, quitting is never going to get you anywhere in
• 12:49
  your life. And, you know, you know, and the
• 12:50
  rest was history. Then I went on a Then I became a
• 12:52
  machine, you know, I was on a rampage, you know?
• 12:55
  And then the first one year from May 2010 to May 2011, I lost my
• 12:58
  first 150 lbs and I was on fireman.
• 13:02
  I was rolling. Yeah.
• 13:04
  Clothes were fitting. My swag was all over the place.
• 13:07
  The music was getting louder in my car, you know, my voice was
• 13:10
  getting deeper, you know, just the overall sheer confidence,
• 13:13
  man. Like, everything, everything
• 13:14
  changed me, my health, my mood, my mental health.
• 13:17
  I was rolling, you know, so that was awesome.
• 13:19
  My dad was happy he got to see me.
• 13:21
  He was a man, his little boy, so.
• 13:23
  Over. The moon man, very over the
• 13:25
  moon. Yeah.
• 13:26
  So that was amazing. So that was the best part.
• 13:28
  But, you know, like I like they say in life, you know, you one
• 13:31
  step forward, 2 steps backward, you know, So, you know, later on
• 13:34
  that July, even even though my health was rolling right now
• 13:38
  July. And it's funny how we're doing
• 13:40
  this podcast today because, you know, in July, we were in my
• 13:44
  cousin's wedding. And, you know, the night of the
• 13:47
  reception in Connecticut, my father was batting a lot of
• 13:50
  liver issues and his liver ended up blowing out and he ended up
• 13:54
  dying like right in my hands on the night of the reception.
• 13:57
  And it was actually July 2018, exactly 14 years ago that I am
• 14:04
  sharing this story with you that he, I lost him in my hands.
• 14:07
  So just a very traumatic experience.
• 14:10
  You know, my mom was there and like, you know, and it was his
• 14:13
  side of the family, too. I think was also really hurt on
• 14:16
  it was like his nephew, my cousin.
• 14:17
  So like his siblings were there. Everybody was in the room.
• 14:20
  Like, what's going on? Took him to the hospital in
• 14:23
  Connecticut just to, you know, confirm like his death.
• 14:25
  And it was just a really traumatic experience.
• 14:28
  And then that happened. And then to add salt on even a
• 14:31
  bigger wound, then we have to take the body back to Baltimore
• 14:33
  where where we live to do the Funeral services.
• 14:36
  So we do that. And I remember bending over to
• 14:38
  pick up his casket. I remember standing up and all
• 14:40
  of a sudden I feel a pop in my back and, and what happens?
• 14:43
  I blow out my L3L4A herniated disc the day of my dad's
• 14:47
  funeral. I'm in excruciating pain.
• 14:49
  And I can't tell a word to a single person because it's my
• 14:52
  father's funeral exactly 14 years ago right at this time,
• 14:56
  you know, So I'm like, man, you know, like life really isn't
• 14:59
  fair, dude. It just, it isn't, you know, it
• 15:02
  sucks. It really sucks.
• 15:03
  So I had to say goodbye to my dad and I'm injured now he's
• 15:08
  gone and here we go. Just more walls coming up.
• 15:11
  You know, the second you feel like you break a wall down, you
• 15:13
  have another one coming right back up.
• 15:15
  And, and in that moment, you know, I the fire just wasn't
• 15:20
  there, you know, So I still, I still went forward in terms of I
• 15:23
  would still work out. I would still go, you know,
• 15:25
  every few days, but the pain wasn't going away.
• 15:28
  You know, I never really got a fix.
• 15:29
  So I try like these little band aids, as you call it, like, you
• 15:32
  know, taking, you know, Medrol dose packs, like steroid
• 15:34
  medications or physical therapy or rehab, but none of it was
• 15:38
  ever working. And then eventually the weight
• 15:41
  was coming back, man. And then Fast forward to 2016.
• 15:45
  You know, my wife and I ended up getting married.
• 15:47
  I met at her in 2015. So we got married in 2016.
• 15:50
  And then 2019, my son was born. And that was another huge wall.
• 15:55
  And I'm sure we're going to get into that here.
• 15:57
  You know, go on. And then 2019, he was born in
• 16:00
  2020 in January, you know, in the work garage, I bend over the
• 16:04
  tie my shoe, I stand up and then what do I hear another pop and I
• 16:07
  blow out my second herniated disc in my in my bag.
• 16:11
  So now nine years of pain and just overall just taking a
• 16:16
  beating and gain half the way back.
• 16:17
  Now I blow up my second herniated disc.
• 16:20
  My wife and I already went through so much to have our son.
• 16:22
  So I'm like, man, like, dude, how much more?
• 16:25
  It's kind of like, man, like you're like that fighter in the
• 16:27
  ring. Like, man, can somebody just
• 16:28
  throw on the towel because you're just taking the beating
• 16:30
  of your freaking life, man. Like when is it going to stop?
• 16:32
  So I remember going on my wife crying, like, you know, I don't
• 16:35
  know what I'm going to do. I'm in excruciating pain.
• 16:37
  She said, look, man, like we got to get it fixed like I would was
• 16:40
  on your ear. You know a lot when we first got
• 16:42
  married, you didn't listen, but now you're a dad now you know,
• 16:45
  she was like, you know, our baby is only two months old.
• 16:48
  Look at what we went through to have him.
• 16:50
  And I know you so well. Like you were never going to be
• 16:53
  happy. She said it.
• 16:54
  She's like you were, you weren't even happy when I met you, you
• 16:56
  know, because you never were the guy that I knew you were born to
• 17:00
  be. You never were like that dog,
• 17:01
  like that animal, like the fire that I had with my training.
• 17:05
  I know how bad you want it, right?
• 17:07
  Like she knows how much my training means to me, my
• 17:09
  discipline, my drive, my fire. She was like, you know, the
• 17:12
  athlete that you want to be. You know, you don't have that in
• 17:15
  your end. I know it's eating you up.
• 17:17
  And she was like, we're not going to make it, like we're not
• 17:20
  going to survive. Like we have to get this fixed.
• 17:22
  Like you have to go break this wall down.
• 17:24
  Like, let's go do some research. Let's go look into some surgery
• 17:27
  options. Let's go, let's go get it done.
• 17:29
  So knock on wood. You know, my wife's best friend
• 17:31
  who's a physician, she referred us to a great surgeon.
• 17:34
  And, you know, God bless him, dog.
• 17:36
  See, I remember seeing him the following week in his office,
• 17:40
  you know, that Monday. And I remember him looking at
• 17:43
  the pain chart behind, behind me, behind him.
• 17:46
  Sorry. And you know, he was like,
• 17:47
  usually I would ask between 1:00 to 10:00 what your pain level
• 17:50
  is. But I literally was a bent over
• 17:52
  like this. That's how much pain I was in.
• 17:54
  He was like, but I'm not going to ask that today.
• 17:55
  I think you're exceeding 10 right now.
• 17:57
  I was like, Doc, I was like, I love you, man.
• 17:59
  But yeah, definitely not the time to ask me, bro.
• 18:01
  Like. Literally.
• 18:03
  And then, yeah. And then like, he was amazing.
• 18:04
  That was that Monday, that following Friday, we went in for
• 18:07
  surgery, got up and, yeah. And it was, it was kind of
• 18:11
  crazy. And I remember like that day and
• 18:13
  like, you know, the doctor left, you know, home.
• 18:16
  And then I'm like yelling at the nurse because I'm so hopped up
• 18:19
  on, like, medication. I'm like, what happened?
• 18:21
  What happened? Did I even go into surgery?
• 18:22
  And the nurse was like, you're an OR man.
• 18:24
  Your surgery was like hours ago. You've been sleeping, snoring
• 18:27
  away. You're doing good.
• 18:29
  But he was like, yeah, but the doctor gave me some
• 18:30
  instructions, like what to do. So it's, you know, off to rehab.
• 18:34
  And I remember my wife, I mean, like even the first day from the
• 18:36
  hospital, like putting my arm around her shoulder, walking,
• 18:40
  walking. And the doctor was like, yo, you
• 18:41
  have to make sure he walks a lot because when it comes to back
• 18:44
  injuries, you don't want any blood clots.
• 18:46
  So like sitting is the worst thing you could do.
• 18:48
  You got to walk as much as you can.
• 18:49
  So my wife, I mean, you know, shout out to her.
• 18:51
  I mean, she was like literally walking me up the stairs, down
• 18:54
  the stairs to the bathroom and changing my band as dresses.
• 18:57
  I would have trash bags, just bloody bandages because I have
• 19:00
  two holes in my back that got punched in.
• 19:02
  And you know, the blood, obviously the blood flow is
• 19:04
  coming. You got to change those bandages
• 19:05
  every day She was doing that walking me around the
• 19:08
  neighborhood physical therapy, But then finally six weeks was
• 19:12
  up went from my checkup. Dr. looked at me and he was
• 19:15
  like, dude, you know, you know, you know, respectfully, like,
• 19:18
  you know, don't go like, you know, like Tarzan, but you know,
• 19:21
  your full systems go just let it out, You know, and I think
• 19:24
  that's when the first time, man, I was like right when he said
• 19:27
  that I was like, wow. And then, you know, from that
• 19:30
  moment in 2020, you know, I was able to RIP off all the weight
• 19:34
  that I gained and then some. And now currently as I'm talking
• 19:37
  to you, I'm down a total of £200 and you know, I was able to come
• 19:40
  back from the fall man and I couldn't be more happier.
• 19:44
  I'm in the best shape of my life.
• 19:45
  My son is almost 6. I'm it, you know, my, I just got
• 19:48
  my blood work done for my doctor.
• 19:50
  Knock on wood. My doctor was like, man, I'm so
• 19:51
  proud of you man. You crushed your blood work.
• 19:54
  I couldn't be more proud. You know, it was nice, It's a
• 19:56
  nice feeling. And she said your dad would be
• 19:58
  proud and hope he is. So that I lot of lot of
• 20:04
  adversity. In and all of those like what
• 20:11
  you talk about the walls, the wall of your weight, then the
• 20:16
  wall of, you know, losing your father, which is losing a
• 20:22
  parent, losing a family member is tough, but also just the the
• 20:26
  way that that happened is is very traumatic, difficult to get
• 20:29
  through. You've got and you talked about,
• 20:33
  and I will get into this as well, having your son, he's now
• 20:36
  6, amazing, the gift of being a father, like, you know, the gift
• 20:40
  of fatherhood because you've been a recipient of obviously it
• 20:43
  sounds like an amazing father. So now you get to give that gift
• 20:46
  back. So it seems like.
• 20:49
  Thank you. These walls in the back surgery
• 20:51
  as well it on the other side of each of them in your journey,
• 20:57
  you talk about your breaking through and like lowering your
• 20:59
  shoulder. And you mentioned that in your
• 21:02
  Ted talk, that image of like sometimes you got to lower your
• 21:04
  shoulder. And I'm like, that really struck
• 21:06
  me because the walls don't stop. No.
• 21:12
  Like you think, OK, this is definitely the last wall for
• 21:14
  sure. Yep, Yep, it's not.
• 21:17
  Life is hard. Extremely.
• 21:20
  So tell me about and I'm gonna jump all over.
• 21:24
  No, but it sounds like your wife is an amazing woman, and it
• 21:29
  sounds like she tells you what you need to hear when you need
• 21:32
  to hear. It Oh yeah, she's not she's not
• 21:34
  short of that. She definitely would no doubt
• 21:36
  will check me hands down right now.
• 21:38
  She'll walk into this podcast and check me if she has to.
• 21:41
  No doubt. I'm not a yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 21:43
  But she's a beast, no doubt. Well, and I think what helps you
• 21:47
  break down those walls is the people in your life and them
• 21:51
  being authentic with you and real with you having those hard
• 21:54
  conversations. So it started with that doctor
• 22:00
  and I'm all about to like bedside manner now.
• 22:02
  You got to be. But in life, you have those
• 22:07
  people that come in and you're kind of like, wait, what did you
• 22:10
  just say to me? Right.
• 22:11
  And, and you talked about earlier sometimes those things
• 22:14
  that people say to you, whether it was that doctor, the trainer,
• 22:17
  your dad, your wife, your friends, whatever it might be,
• 22:23
  they that authenticity kind of forces you to take a look in the
• 22:26
  mirror when you were going through the weight loss, because
• 22:30
  that's a huge accomplishment to lose 200 lbs.
• 22:33
  And I know, I know that there's people out there listening that
• 22:37
  have struggles with weight. It's a tough thing.
• 22:40
  Yep, you have. Do you remember when you feel
• 22:44
  that fight and now you have that fire in you when you were really
• 22:47
  struggling? What things would you say to
• 22:49
  yourself to help breakthrough that wall, that first wall?
• 22:53
  Yeah, sure. You mean like when, during the
• 22:55
  times when I was in peace or during the times when I was
• 22:57
  training to kind of get over that, you know, to kind?
• 22:59
  Of we're training, Yep, when you were, when you decided, OK, I'm
• 23:02
  going to do it. Yeah, for sure.
• 23:03
  No. Yeah, yeah.
• 23:04
  Take you through your mindset. Yeah, for sure.
• 23:07
  Well, I think honestly, it just comes down to, I think the first
• 23:09
  thing that came to me was I was also very bullied a lot.
• 23:12
  And I was always the guy that, you know, anybody that knows me,
• 23:16
  whether they listen to me now or when they listen to this podcast
• 23:19
  or if they see me now, you know, I was told, I'll tell you this
• 23:22
  be 95% if not more people. They never thought I could even
• 23:26
  lose 1 LB. OK, let's just forget 200.
• 23:29
  I mean, I was bullied so bad that I would have people
• 23:31
  literally tell me to my face like, dude, this the guy's never
• 23:33
  gonna lose the weight. And they would always make fun
• 23:35
  of me about hey, man, take your shirt off.
• 23:38
  You know, consider they can make fun of me.
• 23:40
  And like, I was sitting at a Pizza Hut one time.
• 23:42
  I'm notoriously known for this. Three pizzas come out and, you
• 23:45
  know, some friend of ours was like, hey, man told the
• 23:48
  waitress, hey, man, that's great, that's for him.
• 23:49
  But what about the the rest of us?
• 23:51
  And everyone's laughing at me and I feel like the mindset of,
• 23:55
  you know what, dude? Like, I just don't want to be
• 23:57
  bullied anymore. I don't want to be picked on
• 23:59
  anymore. But more than anything, I'm here
• 24:01
  to prove all of you wrong. You know that I'm not just a
• 24:04
  quitter. I'm not just a guy that's gonna
• 24:06
  sit here and be disrespected. Because the one thing that I
• 24:09
  talk about a lot to everybody now, it's, you know, one thing I
• 24:12
  learned a lot in this journey, It's you will never be respected
• 24:16
  by anyone in your entire life if you don't respect yourself.
• 24:19
  You have to have a moxie and a character and a grit and a
• 24:22
  toughness inside of you. I don't care who you are, man,
• 24:26
  woman, husband, wife, boy, girl, teammate, student, it doesn't
• 24:30
  matter, man. But if you walk in with a sense
• 24:32
  of weakness and you show the world that man, you know what?
• 24:36
  I'm a punching bag or a pinata, It's it's like, it's like a
• 24:39
  shark in the what they smell blood, right?
• 24:42
  But if you walk in and you show who you are and you have that
• 24:45
  moxie and you carry yourself, like dude, I'm a tough SOB and
• 24:49
  I'm gonna hold my own. And you know, I got nothing but
• 24:52
  love and respect and well wishes.
• 24:54
  But you know, just don't mess with me, right?
• 24:56
  And I always teach my son this too, like, you know, cuz we, you
• 24:59
  know, cuz you know what, we'll talk about bullying and how
• 25:01
  school systems. And I have nephews who are older
• 25:03
  too, so you know, they have classes about like, you know,
• 25:05
  bullying, not bullying. I've been bullied a lot.
• 25:07
  So I always teach my son, you know, always be kind, be humble,
• 25:10
  be great. But never, you know, never start
• 25:13
  a fight, you know, never ever start a fight, but finish a
• 25:15
  fight, right and finish a fight, not, not in any physical means,
• 25:18
  but just like, you know, like show them that, you know, you're
• 25:20
  not going to be punked around or bullied.
• 25:22
  But going back to the mindset question, it's a matter of I
• 25:25
  think every day I had that drive in that fire.
• 25:27
  Even still, even still, it's the fact of you know what all y'all
• 25:31
  thought I couldn't do it, but I'm gonna do it anyway.
• 25:33
  And that was like the dog mentality that I had.
• 25:35
  I'm going to show all of you wrong.
• 25:37
  But then as time has gone on now as I progressed, you know, in my
• 25:41
  journey, because I still train just as hard, if not harder as I
• 25:44
  did before, right. And I think it comes down to the
• 25:46
  mindset of making a promise to my dad.
• 25:49
  I'm a father now, so I want my son to see the best version of
• 25:52
  me too. And then also three, it goes
• 25:54
  from a mindset of instead of proving all of those guys wrong
• 25:57
  or girls wrong or whoever wrong, I want to prove myself right.
• 26:00
  I know myself worth. I know what I'm capable of and I
• 26:04
  know that you know that I have no limits.
• 26:06
  The only limits I'm setting is to myself.
• 26:08
  So to anybody out there who's listening and you're dealing
• 26:10
  with those type of struggles or those type of issues, the best
• 26:14
  advice I can give anybody in a weight loss journey or in a
• 26:17
  fitness or health journey, it's, you know, just don't worry about
• 26:21
  anybody else's opinions and you know, anything else negative
• 26:25
  that's happened in your life, even if people have told you
• 26:27
  that you can't do it, use it like, you know, use it as fuel
• 26:31
  to the fire, like don't run from it, right?
• 26:33
  So I would use that as fuel. I would find different ways
• 26:37
  every single day to motivate myself and I would just go on my
• 26:39
  brain and be like Hey, I remember that guy, that guy
• 26:42
  making fun of me or I remember this kid making fun of me or I
• 26:45
  remember that guy saying this or I remember this girl saying this
• 26:47
  or XYZ. You have to find ways to always
• 26:51
  motivate yourself because even though discipline does outweigh
• 26:54
  motivation to some degree, but I and I hear people saying all the
• 26:58
  time that motivation fades. I kind of disagree to some
• 27:00
  extent. I do believe motivation can go
• 27:02
  on forever. I think you just have to be
• 27:04
  creative and find different ways to keep motivating yourself
• 27:07
  because you know, you know, the fact of getting up at 5:30 in
• 27:10
  the morning and going out in the cold and the snow in the wind.
• 27:14
  And you know, whether you're going to a gym or you're running
• 27:16
  outside and training 2 hours a day every single day, such as I
• 27:20
  do, you have to be, you have to be motivated to some degree too.
• 27:23
  And I'm not saying I'm not disciplined.
• 27:25
  I, I like to think that I am, but I just have a fire inside of
• 27:28
  me, man, that I am be like, I'm so motivated.
• 27:31
  And I'm, I'm sure you hear it in my voice right now because I get
• 27:33
  goosebumps talking about it, man.
• 27:34
  Like, like I am never going to be denied.
• 27:37
  I'm never going to be doubted and you're never going to tell
• 27:39
  me that I can't do it because I'm going to do it anyway.
• 27:41
  And I think nobody has the right to tell you that you can't do
• 27:44
  it, man. Yes, you can.
• 27:46
  I don't care what excuse you have.
• 27:47
  I don't care what walls you have.
• 27:49
  You can do it, man. Only you are stopping yourself.
• 27:52
  Take that shoulder and ram against that wall and ram
• 27:55
  against that wall and ram against that wall.
• 27:57
  I don't care how big it is. It could be as big as the Great
• 27:59
  Wall of China. But that's the beauty of it,
• 28:02
  man. You know, I always tell people,
• 28:03
  you know what's you know, what's more beautiful than the fall?
• 28:07
  It's the comeback. You know, there's nothing more
• 28:10
  beautiful. Yeah, there's nothing more
• 28:12
  beautiful than the fall than the comeback, man.
• 28:15
  So if you need somebody, if you're somebody who's a post
• 28:17
  part of mom or you're a dad bot or you're a person in college
• 28:21
  and you got the freshman 15 and everyone's doubting you and
• 28:24
  everyone's saying you can't go prove them wrong.
• 28:27
  Show them, man. Show them right.
• 28:29
  Actually speak louder than words.
• 28:30
  And yes, you can. You got breath in your lungs.
• 28:32
  You always got a chance. You always have a chance, man.
• 28:35
  If you're listening to this right now, man, you have a
• 28:37
  chance, man. Get up and go right through that
• 28:40
  wall. You're talking to a guy who lost
• 28:41
  150. I gained it all, half of it,
• 28:44
  most, more than half of it right back.
• 28:46
  And I was able to RIP right over that, you know, that wall and
• 28:50
  and then some. And now I'm still rolling and
• 28:51
  guess what? God forbid.
• 28:53
  I don't know the future, but God forbid, you know, you know, like
• 28:56
  my intent is to always be this way, but you know, I didn't plan
• 28:59
  to get injured either, right? Like you can't, you know, like
• 29:02
  the life is not fair, man, Like it's just not.
• 29:04
  So you have to have the mindset of whatever wall is in your way.
• 29:07
  That's what the number one lesson I want to tell everyone
• 29:09
  out there be, you know, have that mindset of training,
• 29:13
  preparation for your mind, right, that you you're ready.
• 29:16
  Any wall that's in my way, I know I'm ready.
• 29:18
  You know, I tell people all the time, you know, it's I don't
• 29:21
  care what wall comes my way. I'm going to break it down, you
• 29:23
  know? You know, I've been through hell
• 29:25
  and in my life, you know, I've told people I'm not somebody
• 29:27
  that's been through hell. I've burned in it.
• 29:29
  You know, I've burned in it. But those are the lessons that I
• 29:32
  learned over life that have prepared me for now, you know,
• 29:36
  I'm ready for the battle now, you know, if that makes sense.
• 29:40
  I can you, I can feel it. It's it's a rad image to to be
• 29:47
  able to cling to and talking to anyone out there and even
• 29:51
  myself, like after this podcast, when I when a wall comes, this
• 29:56
  is going to be the first I'm going to literally think of you.
• 29:59
  Thank you. So when I'm like out after I'm
• 30:01
  going to be like, and then something, whatever, yeah, kids
• 30:04
  work, whatever life friend, because you can't predict it.
• 30:08
  I'm literally and I'm getting chills right now.
• 30:09
  I'm literally going to be like up real said small thank you.
• 30:14
  So I just, I mean, I've never, it's almost like 2 every time
• 30:19
  you lower your shoulder, maybe it's a huge brick wall, like
• 30:22
  maybe just one brick or one brick moves a little bit.
• 30:25
  I want to say thank you for sharing that experience and I'm
• 30:28
  really sorry that that happened to you.
• 30:30
  Thank you. Appreciate it.
• 30:31
  I know that like it's common and but it doesn't, it's not OK that
• 30:35
  people did that. And that's really messed up.
• 30:37
  And, and, and if any of those people hear this or see this,
• 30:41
  like shame on them. That is not OK Not OK.
• 30:44
  I have kids and I, I, I have friends I who have struggled
• 30:50
  with weight. I, I, I, it's just we, we need
• 30:53
  to do better 100% with our kids. And like if your kid comes home
• 30:58
  and they're in trouble for that, they need to be.
• 31:01
  Educated. Oh yeah, about empathy and.
• 31:04
  Being kind. Now as we get older, you
• 31:06
  realize, oh, OK, they must have been unhappy inside, but it
• 31:09
  doesn't matter, right? It's still it's still it's still
• 31:12
  scars that you have, but with the forever, you know, they
• 31:16
  don't go away. The the good side of it that you
• 31:20
  can. My friend had talked about
• 31:22
  another episode like alchemizing it into something else.
• 31:25
  You take that shit experience and you put it into the fire and
• 31:30
  it comes out and and you know it.
• 31:35
  It's anyone listening. I feel like listening to your
• 31:37
  story, anyone in your life that is a source of negativity or
• 31:42
  doubt. Whether it's your in your
• 31:44
  family, a a friend, a a stranger, someone at school.
• 31:48
  It's hearing stories like this that the people who care about
• 31:54
  people are going to win in the end.
• 31:56
  The people that are bullying and doing all of that quality.
• 32:00
  Of a quality man quality of a quality, I'd rather hang out
• 32:02
  with three of the real estate friends of my entire life versus
• 32:05
  30 people that I just kind of know or they're I'm kind of cool
• 32:08
  with, but I don't really know them or they might judge me or
• 32:11
  they might look at me differently.
• 32:13
  And you know, it's funny too, Bree about this too.
• 32:15
  I always tell people this man, like, don't worry about anyone
• 32:18
  else's opinions. I'm not the biggest believer of
• 32:20
  that too, because it's funny. And I'll tell people this all
• 32:23
  the time. I was 405 lbs.
• 32:24
  People picked on me. They bullied me, they laughed at
• 32:27
  me, they shamed me. They always they had an opinion
• 32:29
  about me. I lose 200 lbs now I'm on
• 32:32
  Instagram. I could do something very simple
• 32:34
  like take my shirt off at the pool, right?
• 32:36
  And then I'll have people being like, well, why is he taking his
• 32:38
  shirt off at the pool? Why is he showing off?
• 32:40
  OK, great, you lost weight. So what?
• 32:42
  So what? So what I'm like, man, which one
• 32:45
  is it? Guys, you got to pick words.
• 32:46
  Get out of both of them. Like Jesus, like what do you
• 32:49
  guys want from me, man? So I tell people we live in a
• 32:52
  world of comparisons and like, oh, look at how him and you know
• 32:56
  he is. Look at how she is.
• 32:57
  Look at what they're doing. And this is social media can get
• 33:00
  a little dicey sometimes. So the best advice I tell
• 33:02
  people, just stay in your own lane.
• 33:06
  Like rest in peace. Nipsey Hussle.
• 33:07
  Nipsey Hussle, famous rapper said this line, he said stay in
• 33:10
  your own lane because there's too much traffic in everyone
• 33:12
  else's lanes and then in all the other lanes.
• 33:14
  Sorry, Nipsey, not the approach of the line, but too much
• 33:16
  traffic in the other lanes, right?
• 33:18
  And he's right. Just stay in your lane.
• 33:21
  It's you versus you. I don't care if somebody else is
• 33:25
  I'm saying is in a nice way, like I don't care if somebody
• 33:28
  else is like super jacked or super sexy in a bikini.
• 33:32
  That is great for them. I am happy for them.
• 33:34
  I'm so glad that they're great for them.
• 33:36
  But I don't care in a sense of like, I'm not comparing myself
• 33:39
  to them. That's great for them.
• 33:40
  I got nothing but happiness. But I don't want to look at them
• 33:42
  be like, Oh my God, like I want to be like that.
• 33:45
  Because the second you start doing that, that's where you,
• 33:47
  you're gonna go away from those walls that you're trying to
• 33:50
  breakdown, not go through them. You know, stop comparing
• 33:53
  yourself to everybody else. Somebody in life is always going
• 33:56
  to be better than you at something.
• 33:58
  Somebody's always going to have more money in their bank than
• 34:00
  you. Somebody's going to be stronger
• 34:01
  than you, faster than you, more popular than you.
• 34:05
  It it doesn't. They could do more reps on the
• 34:06
  bench than you. It does.
• 34:08
  They might drive a nicer car than you.
• 34:09
  They might wear Louise and Gucci's more than you.
• 34:12
  It doesn't matter that I mean, you know what?
• 34:15
  What makes a person rich in the end is their heart OK?
• 34:19
  That's what making a person rich OK is their heart.
• 34:22
  Not their popularity, not their bank account, not their cars,
• 34:26
  not who they know, which power players do I know, which social
• 34:30
  club do I hang out with? So when I say rich, I don't mean
• 34:33
  money. I'm talking about rich in terms
• 34:34
  of like the grand scheme of life, like, you know, like that
• 34:36
  the totality of it all, right, So that's what I'm saying.
• 34:39
  Like, you know, if you're a great person on the inside and
• 34:43
  you have the biggest heart ever, you will reap the rewards of
• 34:46
  that man and just stay in your lane.
• 34:48
  Stop comparing yourself to everybody else.
• 34:50
  I tell people, stop comparing yourself to me.
• 34:52
  Like my journey is my journey. My story is my story because
• 34:55
  people will tell me all the time, like, oh, man, like I want
• 34:58
  to look like this now. How do you do it now?
• 35:00
  And I'm like, yeah, I always have to do it now too.
• 35:03
  Guys, It took me 15 years to get to this point. 15 years of work,
• 35:07
  like of blood, of sweat, of tears, of everything that you
• 35:10
  and I just talked about right now.
• 35:11
  Like my TE DX talk. Just go check it out.
• 35:14
  Raheel Siddiqui, TE DSHS. You'll see how long and what
• 35:18
  I've been through to get to this point.
• 35:19
  So yeah, I would love to look like me if I could do it like
• 35:22
  this too, if I could just snap my fingers like like a
• 35:24
  multiverse or my man Doc Brown and Marty McFly get The Time
• 35:27
  Machine, you know? But life is not that way,
• 35:29
  unfortunately, man, It's not. You got to break the wall down,
• 35:33
  break as many walls down, and you got to go through it.
• 35:35
  And like I said in my TE DX talk like it's hard, right?
• 35:39
  But you're never going to know what is waiting for you on the
• 35:43
  other side of that wall if you quit, right?
• 35:45
  It doesn't matter how hard it is, but just get up and attack
• 35:48
  it every single day. But if you quit, you're never
• 35:51
  going to know. Like, had I quit, I never would
• 35:53
  have known, right? What my capabilities were, how
• 35:56
  my mindset would have changed, how much stronger I would have
• 35:59
  been if I quit. If my wife quit, we would have
• 36:01
  never had our son, right? Never.
• 36:03
  So it's like, these are the moments I tell people and teach
• 36:06
  people. Yeah, quitting is easy.
• 36:07
  I know. I've done it my whole life.
• 36:09
  But if you quit, you're never going to know what you know,
• 36:12
  what dream, what greatness, what magic is waiting for you on the
• 36:14
  other side. And that's what makes it so
• 36:16
  special. It's like, you know, the one
• 36:18
  quick example I give when Michael Jordan won his first
• 36:20
  championship, he won six. But the first championship,
• 36:23
  there's an image of him when he's grabbing the trophy and
• 36:25
  he's holding it, he's crying against it, just letting it all
• 36:29
  out, holding it tight on the Chronicle, baby, right.
• 36:32
  And, you know, and he talked about that.
• 36:33
  He's like, man, everything that I've been through, like I was
• 36:35
  compared to Magic and Bird, you know, they were the big dogs.
• 36:38
  I wasn't. I was just known as a scorer.
• 36:40
  Can Michael Jordan lead the Bulls to a championship?
• 36:43
  He's too flashy. You know, he's this, he's that
• 36:46
  fine finally. And he went through Magic
• 36:48
  Johnson to go win his first championship and he's crying and
• 36:52
  who's he standing sitting next to his father, right?
• 36:54
  Because I was his best friend. So it's like, it is those
• 36:57
  moments as I got older in life, that's when I realized like,
• 36:59
  wow, you know, I never understood the significance of
• 37:02
  that picture until now. Now I know why he was holding
• 37:05
  that trophy and all the years and all the work and all the
• 37:09
  preparation, the hours in the weight room and practice and
• 37:12
  training and and everything putting your body on the line.
• 37:15
  That's why you did it and that's why I do what I do now.
• 37:18
  You know, everything that I've been through and I love you so
• 37:21
  much for being so nice about talking about what I've been
• 37:23
  through. I really appreciate it.
• 37:24
  Thank you. That means a lot to me.
• 37:25
  And also I think the two piece fold of it is like what we
• 37:28
  talked about. I think also I am grateful in
• 37:31
  the sense of, you know, all of everything that happened to me.
• 37:34
  It made me who I am. You know, it was unfortunate and
• 37:37
  I wish it didn't, but I will say it made me who I am.
• 37:40
  And that's why I try to spread awareness like, Hey, you know,
• 37:43
  I, I also don't, you don't want anybody else to feel like that.
• 37:48
  What I went through too. Like there, there is other ways,
• 37:50
  like my way was my way because that was the way it had to be
• 37:52
  done. That's why I tell people, don't
• 37:54
  compare yourself to anybody else because you don't know what
• 37:56
  somebody else has been through, right?
• 37:57
  Like if I had a choice, would I change a lot of things?
• 38:01
  Of course, I, I know what nobody wants to get bullied and
• 38:03
  tortured and humiliated and been through what I've been through,
• 38:06
  you know, but at the end of the day, the reality is we live in a
• 38:10
  reality world, right? We can't go back in time.
• 38:12
  I wouldn't change it for the world because number one, I
• 38:15
  can't. But #2 everything I've been
• 38:17
  through, it made me who I am, you know?
• 38:19
  And it made me who I am. And who I am now is the wall
• 38:21
  breaker, you know? Love it.
• 38:24
  Yeah, I appreciate it. Wall breaker.
• 38:28
  No, it's literally, you know, it's a it's a really great way
• 38:35
  to reframe your problems, right, because when you go, when you,
• 38:39
  when you talk about like when you start going down the
• 38:41
  comparison route or the negative thoughts, you move away from the
• 38:44
  wall. So you have to face it to break
• 38:47
  it, right, Face it and start. And one thing you talked about,
• 38:52
  you have a six year old boy. That's amazing.
• 38:55
  Congratulations that you're you're you watched your wife
• 38:59
  breakthrough that Oh. Yeah, Oh.
• 39:02
  Yeah, and he and I loved the image of almost like a baby
• 39:06
  literally waiting on the other side, being like, I'm here when
• 39:08
  you're like, just keep going. I'm just ready when you're
• 39:11
  right. Tell me about that journey and
• 39:12
  how that that was. You had lost the weight, you met
• 39:16
  the love of your life. You obviously were grieving.
• 39:19
  You had lost your father and the journey of getting pregnant was
• 39:25
  not. Easy.
• 39:26
  It was not easy I. Know people, I know people
• 39:28
  listening can relate. For sure.
• 39:30
  And this is a really great topic and I'm glad.
• 39:32
  And I feel like I need to talk about it more because I feel
• 39:35
  like it's a really serious issue.
• 39:36
  And I think also over the last few years, I've seen that a lot
• 39:39
  of men as well, especially need to come out and talk about it
• 39:43
  more because I feel like a lot of women who are so courageous
• 39:45
  talk about, you know, infertility and in vitro and
• 39:48
  like, you know, what they've been through.
• 39:50
  But in terms of like, you know, just getting pregnant, I think
• 39:52
  men should also. So if you're a man out there and
• 39:54
  you're listening to this, please listen to this too, because I
• 39:56
  think I hope it helps you too. But going back to your question,
• 39:59
  So 2016, we got married and then we tried to have kids for a few
• 40:03
  years. And I remember going to the
• 40:04
  doctor's office and we couldn't figure out what was going on.
• 40:07
  We ran a multitude of tests and the doctor I remember looking.
• 40:10
  Right at me, when she tilted her chair right at me, she said,
• 40:13
  look real like, you know, honestly, I can't 100% confirm
• 40:16
  it because, you know, all they can do doctors, I think one of
• 40:19
  the, you know, stigma is doctors aren't like, you know, I'm
• 40:23
  saying this respectfully. They're not like gods, like
• 40:24
  they're not like I'm from a multiverse, right?
• 40:26
  All they can do is do the best that they can do with the most
• 40:29
  scientific, you know, education that they've learned and trained
• 40:32
  on. So she couldn't confirm it, but
• 40:34
  she looked at me and said, Hey, listen, your sperm motility
• 40:36
  count is, you know, abnormal. And this could be a big reason
• 40:39
  why you guys are not having children.
• 40:42
  So the only route you guys can go is through in vitro
• 40:44
  fertilization. So I remember at that time,
• 40:47
  like, man, you talked about it, right?
• 40:48
  Lost my dad gaining weight. My back injury was feeling like
• 40:52
  hell at that time because I was in the peak of my injury.
• 40:54
  So I'm like, man, now another wall to break.
• 40:57
  And I looked at my wife and I think I learned this a lot from
• 40:59
  her too, whether I've told her or not.
• 41:00
  But hopefully she hears it now. It's, you know, my wife was
• 41:02
  like, OK, you know, like this, this is the answer.
• 41:06
  Then this is what it's got to be, right?
• 41:07
  Like she didn't even think twice, but right exactly.
• 41:09
  It wasn't like, oh, but can we do this or but but there was no,
• 41:12
  but it was like, OK, this is our only option then so be it, you
• 41:15
  know, so let's get to it. So, and if people who don't know
• 41:19
  about in vitro fertilization, it's it's a beast.
• 41:22
  Like I said in my TE DX talk, I mean, it is really emotionally
• 41:25
  draining financially is draining.
• 41:27
  A lot of insurance companies don't cover it.
• 41:29
  This might be a debate for others out there who listen to
• 41:31
  this, but you know, it's just very exhausting.
• 41:34
  So you and my wife every day was taking shots, taking
• 41:37
  medications, throwing up in the bathroom.
• 41:39
  Like months go by and I remember her in the bed and I'm like,
• 41:43
  Hey, listen, like you know, I I'm not suggesting to quit, but
• 41:46
  I'm not the one going through this man like you are.
• 41:48
  You know, my weight loss was me going through, but this is like
• 41:51
  a whole nother level than weight loss, man.
• 41:52
  This is like, you're literally just putting crap into your body
• 41:54
  every single day, you know? But you know, she looked right
• 41:57
  at me and she put her two fingers right at her stomach.
• 41:59
  She's like, I'm having this baby.
• 42:00
  I'm having it. No matter what, nothing's going
• 42:02
  to stop me. Like quitting is not an option.
• 42:04
  I don't care. And she was beat up and she had
• 42:06
  bruises all over her stomach, like just exhausted.
• 42:10
  So then I was like, OK, I support you 100%.
• 42:13
  Quitting is not an option. And if you guys hear this one
• 42:15
  more time, quitting is not an option, you know?
• 42:18
  So I said, OK, fine. So we did it few more months.
• 42:21
  And then finally the doctor gave us a call, said, hey, man, you
• 42:23
  know what, you know, I, you know, congratulations, you guys
• 42:27
  are are pregnant. And I was like, Oh my God.
• 42:30
  And then here we go. November 2011, you know, my
• 42:34
  little guy comes out, you know, ring hail Siddiqui RAYN is his
• 42:38
  name. So yeah.
• 42:40
  And then I remember my wife holding him for the very first
• 42:42
  time. And I was like, man, like, you
• 42:44
  know. And then she was like, we did
• 42:45
  it. And I was like, we didn't do it,
• 42:47
  you did it. It's a it's, it's like holding
• 42:49
  the trophy. It's like Michael Watson.
• 42:51
  It was. It's literally, I have chills.
• 42:53
  Everyone I appreciate. It for you guys, you did it
• 42:56
  together when you have a partner like that that that is willing
• 43:01
  to tell you those truths and then be with you when you're
• 43:05
  going through your walls, but then breakthrough her walls and
• 43:09
  then some what maybe some walls you're both punching through
• 43:12
  some walls like she's doing more.
• 43:15
  That's like parental. Yeah, and The thing is I also
• 43:18
  another lesson is too on the health side.
• 43:20
  And now specifically it's for like even for the men side, if I
• 43:24
  may say this. Like This is why I told people
• 43:26
  man, like even for a male. So I got so even like when I
• 43:29
  mentioned this too, it's like, man, okay, my dad literally
• 43:32
  saved my life to help save my life and I had to lose weight.
• 43:36
  So I'm like, OK, so basically in my mind I'm thinking I got to
• 43:39
  lose weight or not have the potential of having kids.
• 43:42
  You know, it's like, you know, like how fair is like life, you
• 43:45
  know? So this is my message to you men
• 43:47
  out there, especially if you're in your prime years, you know,
• 43:49
  18 and 20s specifically, man. Like this could also be a side
• 43:54
  effect of, you know, you know, down the line, if you plan on
• 43:57
  having children and you have fertility issues that come up
• 44:00
  now, you know, this could be a cause of a reason as to why not.
• 44:04
  So if you're young enough or you're in your prime years and,
• 44:07
  you know, please take care of your health, man, because my
• 44:11
  extreme weight loss cost me that ability.
• 44:13
  I we couldn't have kids naturally.
• 44:14
  And again, you know, it wasn't 100%, but again, the doctor did
• 44:18
  say that that was probably the biggest reason why if she were
• 44:20
  to put her, you know, her nail on it.
• 44:22
  So that's why I tell people like take care of your health, man.
• 44:26
  Like, you know, take care of you first.
• 44:27
  I think that's the the best lesson, first and foremost, I'd
• 44:29
  like to give to all the men, if that's OK, who are listening
• 44:31
  here. And then the second lesson is
• 44:33
  like, you know, yes, I mean, without a doubt.
• 44:36
  I mean, I learned from my wife at that point, like man, like,
• 44:39
  you know, if she had quit, we would never have our son.
• 44:42
  Our family would not be here. So, you know, you just can't let
• 44:46
  your mind sink in and tell yourself to quit because
• 44:49
  quitting is never, ever going to get you to the other side of
• 44:52
  that wall. You have to get up and you got
• 44:54
  to keep ramming at that wall. You got to keep trying to break
• 44:57
  it down because I promise you, no matter how long it seems or
• 45:01
  no matter how hard it takes, it is going to break down.
• 45:05
  And I promise you forget even looking at a guy like me, man.
• 45:08
  If you look at what my wife went through, like I just told you, I
• 45:11
  mean, you think I'm the wall breaker.
• 45:13
  She's the ultimate wall breaker, you know?
• 45:18
  It's a. It's a, it's a great way to go
• 45:23
  into the weekend thinking about the walls that we're all facing
• 45:26
  and how we can be inspired by what you you went through.
• 45:31
  But like you said, we all have our own story and we all have
• 45:35
  different sets of walls. And I want to thank you.
• 45:38
  I know we could keep talking. Sure.
• 45:39
  No, thank you. Yeah, yeah, this is awesome.
• 45:41
  And and hey, maybe, maybe we can have you and your wife back talk
• 45:45
  about your journey. Sometime, sure, I would love it.
• 45:47
  I would love. It, I know we've got a lot of
• 45:49
  women listening to this podcast in a lot of different countries
• 45:52
  just talking about the jury. And I'm sure that in itself is a
• 45:55
  whole, it's a lot of university. So Raheel, I really want to
• 45:59
  thank you for so openly talking about your life and love and
• 46:04
  loss and hardship. And I just want to commend you
• 46:08
  for your energy and your spirit. And I really feel it.
• 46:11
  And I if I may say, I know that your dad is super stoked for who
• 46:17
  what you're doing. Thank you so much for.
• 46:19
  Coming. And on his on his anniversary
• 46:21
  too. So thank you for having me.
• 46:22
  He passed away on July 18th, 14 years ago.
• 46:26
  The anniversary today was his death anniversary today, 14
• 46:29
  years ago. So thank you.
• 46:31
  Thank you for having me. That's why I it's really nice.
• 46:34
  That's why I'm a little more emotional probably than I am
• 46:37
  because you know, 14 years ago was the day that I lost him on
• 46:40
  July 18th today. So thank you for having me.
• 46:43
  Thank you for letting me share the story.
• 46:45
  I mean, without him, I wouldn't be here today.
• 46:46
  I always tell people man, like you know, he literally saved my
• 46:49
  life. In some ways.
• 46:50
  I feel like he sacrificed his life to save mine.
• 46:52
  So thank you for letting me have the opportunity to be here.
• 46:55
  I would love to always stay connected with you.
• 46:56
  I hope the audience got good content.
• 46:58
  Hopefully you got a great episode for your show and
• 47:01
  definitely would love people. You have you on my show if
• 47:03
  you're. I'm sure you have.
• 47:06
  I'm sure everybody as well as they've broken down Bree at some
• 47:09
  point in their life, right? Everybody has that and I know
• 47:12
  you have too, right. So for sure, yeah.
• 47:15
  Everybody does. Sure.
• 47:16
  Well, Raheel, I'm gonna put a link to your podcast, a link to
• 47:21
  yes to your Ted talk, all the things Instagram in the show
• 47:26
  notes and again, the wall breaker.
• 47:28
  Raheel it was a pleasure and I can't wait for this to come out
• 47:32
  to help. Thank you for your time.
• 47:33
  Appreciate you. Have a great weekend.
• 47:35
  You're the best. See you soon and everybody
• 47:37
  hopefully have a great safe weekend.
• 47:39
  Let's go break those walls down. Let's do it together.
• 47:42
  Let's go break some more. Let's do it.
• 47:43
  Let's do it, Appreciate. It thanks guys.
• 47:45
  Take care. Bye.
• 47:47
  Bye.