Latest / Neuro-Performance / Was tun, wenn du als Führungskraft ein schlechtes Gewissen gegenüber deinem Team hast?
Transcript
- Nina: What can you if you have a bad conscience force against your team? Imagine you make a difficult decision. like construction, cost reduction. You your own examples. And you know that this decision is It has to implemented. And yet, the bad conscience is sitting in neck. Maybe in the shoulders, in the stomach. You definitely feel it. Hi, I'm Nina and today it's about one of the hidden experiences in the leadership. Namely the guilt feeling towards your own team. Let's a at what some leadership is currently experiencing. And I get this through my conversations with various leadership currently very strongly with Especially in times when the economic pressure is very high. Yes, we always about the leadership who start with the and around themselves. But there are also lot of great empathetic leadership. They have a completely different topic. They tell me something like, hey, I'm going on vacation but somehow it really bad because I know that the team is quite a situation of pressure and insecurity. or leadership who report that they give constructive feedback, but that it doesn't good and that they for hours whether they too hard. Or leadership who make decisions that someone, especially when to subject of star construction, and who then can't turn it With these leaderships, the bad conscience is a permanent companion. And what do some leaderships They compensate. They set up protection strategies. Something like, example, that they available Or that they clear words, i.e. criticism, and do not speak plainly with the team. Or take on tasks that belong to the team, that they shouldn't do. Or they say yes to things where they mean but no feels threatening, feels wrong and that's they can't pronounce Sounds totally paradoxical at but all that I just described and certainly many other examples are an attempt of the bad conscience. But doesn't that And in the end, the management worse. And the guilt feeling remains. Let's take it neurobiological way, why it is and what exactly in brain. First all, guilt is not a weakness. Quite the opposite. is a social emotion and it is deeply in our system, in our brain, Our brain does not between a social pain and a physical pain. If you the feeling that you have or you have disappointed someone, then you the same brain regions in your brain, the regions are like a physical pain experience. And this is not just a coincidence, but a social connection. which was absolutely crucial Maybe a short summary. I've talked about things like fight, flight and freeze. When the seven-toothed tiger in us, our nervous system autonomously whether it fights, whether flees, whether it dies to survival. And you have to know that there another strategy, namely the connection, the social connection in the group. Back then, had only because we belonged The group gave us protection, it fed us, we had a protective shield we belonged to And that still our brain evolutionarily. The problem, if it today, arises when this alarm system is permanently active So specifically when the saber-toothed in the of I have to out now, doesn't good, but I have it somehow, when exactly that your alarm system, your brain. The nervous system then interprets the situation, for example you know the employee, ah, he will feel uncomfortable, he will not feel he will not well if I him now that we have no idea you the bonus, your brain interprets that as a threat. Because you're another person. Now just purely factual. And that's the nervous system It feels threatening. And that's why tries your system. And from the outside it looks like, as I with many leadership forces, that they quickly looking a way out of the situation. That means they don't lead with clarity, they don't a situation consciously, but they try this situation. to out to escape This does not because these people are cowardly, but it is really an autonomous reaction of the nervous system to this social pressure that perceived. So this social pressure, oh god, does the employee when I tell him that the place is being built or oh god, how does the employee when I tell him that we not a bonus this This is a situation It also in the brain as a danger situation, as if the saber-tongued in of And many people have learned that the fastest way to of this pressure or to reduce is to sedate. And that is sometimes the strongest leadership forces, which are really leadership-strong, into such a behavior, which is first logical on outside. It logical And it's important to understand that it's always a character or a problem but it's basically a problem a self-regulation. How regulated are we? How present are we in our nervous system? And that direct consequences if we are not regulated there. Because leadership forces that out of guilt no give clear feedback. They avoid conflicts and take away from the team what it needs. Growth. It has a chain reaction, small circle devils that closes when leadership in such situations of perceived threat does not clearly into leadership. I little exercise with me for leadership who know the subject of conscience. and get yourself out of and it's hard for to out of the situation because the brain then mostly some looping in the process. So the exercise is very simple. It's a single question that you yourself next time when the bad conscience reports. The question is, did I something wrong or did I a difficult decision that someone? Did I something wrong? Or did I a difficult decision that affects someone? It may sound simple at but there is a really important difference. Real guilt, the bad conscience, when you against your own values. Then the bad conscience is a meaningful signal that shows you, hey, you to correct In most cases I the guilt feeling is something else. It is more of a reflex. Someone is unhappy or someone dissatisfied with the leadership and the own nervous system interprets it as I did something wrong. But that's not the same. That's why the question, I repeat it again, I something wrong or did I a difficult decision that someone? It's not a reason for guilt for bad knowledge. It's a reason for respect. If you a feedback that's necessary, then take the opportunity to learn So, for the next time, ask yourself, and then act according to your answer and not according to the pressure you perceive. We can little deeper if you interested. It's totally exciting. neuroscientist Naomi Eisenberger from UCLA, if you want to research that, she has shown several studies where it social pain, i.e. experience of rejection or the experience of social tension. And they found out that this the same brain areas as physical pain. The cortex reacts in both cases the same. This also why guilt feelings are so difficult to be Your brain just just like a pain that to healed. And if you to deeper, then can totally you the researcher Brene Brown recommends, which differs between guilt and shame. She says, guilt is something like, I did something wrong. Shame says, am wrong. Whoever acts guiding force constantly out of guilt, at some into shame and thus access to clear judgmental power. Ultra exciting, there are many great books by Brynne Brown on this topic. Important here this point for us, the way out is not to of guilt feeling, the way out for you is to really organize If you this exciting, if you want then you now the opportunity to for my NeuroPerformance Masterclass We will at the nervous system and you will some help from just help for the bad conscience, but many more help that you in your everyday to stay in your lead. and not to the reaction mode. the link in the show notes. Definitely click and register for the ticket. And then will get many more neuro hacks for you in your leadership position 9th well through your everyday life as a leadership power. I'm to seeing you there.