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93: Why I Do Hard and Scary Things—and How They Build Self-Trust · The Everyday Awesome Project

• 0:27
  Polly Mertens: Hey, superstars, polly here and a solo episode, and so this episode is why I do hard and scary things and why you should too, and it's inspired.
• 0:39
  Polly Mertens: I'm taking on a new hard and scary challenge.
• 0:42
  Polly Mertens: Right now I am working my way towards a hike up Mount Whitney, the tallest 14er in the continental United States Holy crap, on the John Muir Trail in California.
• 0:55
  Polly Mertens: Can't wait in about two and a half weeks, and I mean just saying like okay, 6,000 feet elevation gain, about 22 miles in a day.
• 1:03
  Polly Mertens: You know you're hiking at 9,000 to 14,000 feet.
• 1:07
  Polly Mertens: Hard.
• 1:10
  Polly Mertens: A scary part of it is I was just invited, or just, you know, invited by a friend to do it about three weeks from when they're going.
• 1:18
  Polly Mertens: And this is a lottery thing.
• 1:19
  Polly Mertens: You can't just like go hike up Mount Whitney, you have to win a lottery or you know somebody invites you.
• 1:25
  Polly Mertens: So I was invited, hey, we're going, you should do it, like you could totally do it.
• 1:29
  Polly Mertens: And I was like you gotta be kidding me.
• 1:31
  Polly Mertens: Like in three weeks I haven't been working out and people train for this thing for a year, you know, six months at least to a year.
• 1:42
  Polly Mertens: So first thing I did was I reached out to Samantha and I was like, oh my God, I just got invited to hike Mount Whitney, which I've been wanting to do.
• 1:46
  Polly Mertens: Samantha's done it, if you can imagine.
• 1:47
  Polly Mertens: Of course she has, but I haven't.
• 1:49
  Polly Mertens: And it's been like, hey, let's go do that.
• 1:51
  Polly Mertens: And we just haven't put it out there.
• 1:53
  Polly Mertens: So it showed up in my life.
• 1:56
  Polly Mertens: I love this right.
• 1:57
  Polly Mertens: And so in the first moment I'm like, okay, that's going to be hard and it's scary.
• 2:02
  Polly Mertens: And Samantha said why did you even ask me?
• 2:04
  Polly Mertens: You should just say yes.
• 2:05
  Polly Mertens: And so I was like, okay, I was like send me the dates, what are we doing?
• 2:10
  Polly Mertens: And so I have no idea how this is all going to unfold.
• 2:14
  Polly Mertens: When I accepted this, this was about a week ago now.
• 2:17
  Polly Mertens: I've been in the works towards it, but it has really had me thinking towards it, but it has really had me thinking.
• 2:28
  Polly Mertens: Yesterday I did a 16 and plus 16 and a half mile trek, 3,000 miles elevation gain.
• 2:30
  Polly Mertens: It was like 75, 80 degrees out.
• 2:32
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, it was a good challenge.
• 2:35
  Polly Mertens: And the longest hike I'd been on in a couple months was like maybe two hours, right.
• 2:40
  Polly Mertens: So I was like holy smoke.
• 2:41
  Polly Mertens: So you know, why do this hard thing, why do this scary thing?
• 2:46
  Polly Mertens: And I'm really seeing it inside of my Come Alive program.
• 2:48
  Polly Mertens: If you haven't heard about that, we'll share a link to that.
• 2:52
  Polly Mertens: I'm seeing the participants, the ladies in my Come Alive as they are, like they stretch themselves, as they grow themselves, as they put you know things that like excite you.
• 3:04
  Polly Mertens: It's not like terrifying, like I'm not saying go do something that would absolutely terrify you.
• 3:09
  Polly Mertens: There's definitely growth in that.
• 3:11
  Polly Mertens: Put your life on the line.
• 3:13
  Polly Mertens: That's up to you.
• 3:14
  Polly Mertens: I'm not saying do that, but we all have different levels of scary.
• 3:17
  Polly Mertens: We all have different levels of hard, depending on where they are right and so you know what.
• 3:23
  Polly Mertens: We all have things that we're avoiding.
• 3:24
  Polly Mertens: I mean, it could be a tough conversation, right.
• 3:28
  Polly Mertens: So this shows up in a lot of areas of our life.
• 3:30
  Polly Mertens: The workout we don't want to do that dream project that feels very terrifying, like oh my God, what.
• 3:41
  Polly Mertens: You know how, how, how, and we call it hard, right, whatever your definition of hard is.
• 3:44
  Polly Mertens: And it's also sometimes scary, right, because your comfort zone mind only knows what you've done before.
• 3:49
  Polly Mertens: It's like I'm not sure you can do that like.
• 3:51
  Polly Mertens: First thing I thought was I haven't done 22 miles.
• 3:54
  Polly Mertens: Well, I have done 22 miles in a day, but I haven't done 6 000 feet of elevation gain in 22 miles in a single day at that kind of elevation.
• 4:01
  Polly Mertens: So I do have a little bit of a foundation.
• 4:04
  Polly Mertens: I did a race a couple years back that had some of these characteristics, but not all of them.
• 4:10
  Polly Mertens: So at least I had a little foundation to go.
• 4:12
  Polly Mertens: I could probably do that.
• 4:14
  Polly Mertens: But, jesus, in three weeks I trained for that.
• 4:16
  Polly Mertens: Well, I trained for it for over a year.
• 4:18
  Polly Mertens: It got canceled and then I, you know, trained the next year, but I was anyway.
• 4:22
  Polly Mertens: What I love about it is like, oh my God, I, you know, train the next year, but I was anyway.
• 4:29
  Polly Mertens: What I love about it was like, oh my God, I haven't been like overly training myself too.
• 4:31
  Polly Mertens: So I was kind of excited about that and to give myself this challenge.
• 4:33
  Polly Mertens: But where you know, where in our life do we put hard and scary and go, nope, can't do it right.
• 4:36
  Polly Mertens: But it's the road to fulfillment, to more confidence, joy, courage, freedom, all sorts of things.
• 4:44
  Polly Mertens: On that path that looks hard and scary.
• 4:47
  Polly Mertens: Right, it runs right through.
• 4:49
  Polly Mertens: Hard and scary, no doubt Isn't that crazy.
• 4:52
  Polly Mertens: So today I'm going to help you unpack and understand, like you know, start walking that road, like find the things that are hard and scary and do them one uncomfortable step at a time.
• 5:04
  Polly Mertens: Like don't do it perfectly either, right.
• 5:06
  Polly Mertens: So let's look at like why hard things matter, right, and it's like the engine of freedom and satisfaction and fulfillment and all these like benefits that we get on the other side of hard.
• 5:18
  Polly Mertens: So if you feel stuck or maybe unfulfilled, you know it might be because life is not hard enough.
• 5:26
  Polly Mertens: And I get it.
• 5:27
  Polly Mertens: Life is overwhelming.
• 5:28
  Polly Mertens: We've all got things.
• 5:29
  Polly Mertens: Oh, my life is hard enough, but is it going in the direction that you want it to go?
• 5:34
  Polly Mertens: Like, are you challenging yourself, not just in a job?
• 5:38
  Polly Mertens: That's like sucking your life out of you.
• 5:41
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, it's hard.
• 5:41
  Polly Mertens: Or, you know, sometimes we just get like plateaued in things, right, we don't challenge ourself.
• 5:47
  Polly Mertens: So the hard path keeps growth on the table, right.
• 5:52
  Polly Mertens: And if you think about your relationships, those difficult conversations, the authenticity, the vulnerability, like it just totally builds intimacy and trust, right, like when you can just be like, damn, this is what I did or this is what I'm thinking, or that hurt me, or you know, sharing those uncomfortable moments of things that either are shameful, those are the biggies where growth can happen.
• 6:20
  Polly Mertens: I was just listening to an amazing podcast on that where growth can happen I was just listening to an amazing podcast on that, but for another time.
• 6:25
  Polly Mertens: And your health, right, like it's all built by showing up for the workout, for eating well, even when you don't want to right.
• 6:37
  Polly Mertens: It's like saying no to the things that don't serve you and saying yes to like the choices that build the healthy body, that build the intimate relationship, that build the consistent business, if you will.
• 6:46
  Polly Mertens: So your success, like you feeling fulfilled and successful, the breakthroughs come long after.
• 6:54
  Polly Mertens: You're like slogging through the boring, painful middle, right, it's like yesterday I was just like seven hours of, just like marching away, marching away.
• 7:05
  Polly Mertens: It was like and my, I do sometimes listen to, you know, audios, podcasts, videos, things like that Just, you know, seven hours out there, right, but my cable wasn't working on charging my phone so I was like, oh, I got to conserve my battery.
• 7:20
  Polly Mertens: So it was just me and my mind and the beauty of nature and it was just like seven hours out here, you know, get a little sun baked and wind baked and all that, but it was like getting through that.
• 7:33
  Polly Mertens: I came back at the end and I was like, damn, I was so like man, look what I just did, you know.
• 7:41
  Polly Mertens: So the best part is, you know what?
• 7:43
  Polly Mertens: Sometimes you don't have to do it alone.
• 7:45
  Polly Mertens: You know, like, think about how things can get easier when you're surrounded by people who normalize discomfort and they cheer you on right Like they're putting themselves out there.
• 7:55
  Polly Mertens: And one of the things we say in the Come Alive is you know, when one woman's working, we're all working right.
• 8:00
  Polly Mertens: When you're doing the work and you're putting in the effort, and the people around you in a circle, in a community, they see that, whether they're like doing it with you, like I remember when I was training a group for a Spartan race and, uh man, they were having such a good time like getting you know, I was kicking their ass, you know or they're kicking their own ass and they were having a ball like getting through it.
• 8:23
  Polly Mertens: But like looking to the left and right of you is like all right, at least I'm not out here alone.
• 8:28
  Polly Mertens: Yesterday I had to go along because I didn't plan enough.
• 8:30
  Polly Mertens: I could have had someone out with me.
• 8:31
  Polly Mertens: But whether you do it alone or do it together, like doing it right, that's the point, and so you know.
• 8:38
  Polly Mertens: I heard this quote on this podcast and that's a little bit of what inspired me to do is like, if you're unfulfilled or maybe dissatisfied with your life or just feels like, meh, right, maybe your life isn't hard enough, maybe it's not hard enough, just ask yourself, right.
• 8:53
  Polly Mertens: And so there's this line, also over here, about scary, like one thing that I noticed that was different from Mount Whitney.
• 9:01
  Polly Mertens: You know, taking on this challenge is like I knew it was going to be hard, right, and I've done, I know myself to be able to do hard.
• 9:09
  Polly Mertens: I did Ironman last year, two years ago, yeah, last year.
• 9:13
  Polly Mertens: So I did an Ironman.
• 9:14
  Polly Mertens: That was fucking hard, right.
• 9:17
  Polly Mertens: I've done other races, so I know physical challenge, I've done some crazy Spartan things right, lots and lots of trainings.
• 9:23
  Polly Mertens: I know my physical endurance and also our mental and our spiritual well-being, right.
• 9:31
  Polly Mertens: So, like, hard, it's up to us and it's in our mind, right, we can do hard things, scary things, right.
• 9:39
  Polly Mertens: So, mount Whitney, I was like I was like literally scared.
• 9:42
  Polly Mertens: I was like, you know, I could hurt myself.
• 9:45
  Polly Mertens: You know, like going up against this, you know, monumental challenge, if I'm not prepared, there's fear built in that.
• 9:51
  Polly Mertens: For me it's like, ah, like I could get hurt or I could like damage something or whatever.
• 9:56
  Polly Mertens: And I was like, oh, you know, like a lot of unknown showed up.
• 9:59
  Polly Mertens: So hard is the known difficulty, like running a marathon, you know, hiking this mountain, whatever, like talking to this person Like you know the things that you need to do, right, scary is when we go into the unknown, like the uncertainty shows up.
• 10:19
  Polly Mertens: It's that vulnerable conversation, like I don't know how this is going to go.
• 10:21
  Polly Mertens: Right, you can't control it.
• 10:23
  Polly Mertens: Right, maybe it's a new business.
• 10:25
  Polly Mertens: You're like I have no idea.
• 10:26
  Polly Mertens: Right, are we going to make money?
• 10:28
  Polly Mertens: Are we going to?
• 10:28
  Polly Mertens: Are people going to like what we offer?
• 10:30
  Polly Mertens: Right, so, maybe, putting your art out into the world, putting yourself out there, right, like, I've got this thing I want to share with the world, it's scary, right, and our mind says don't, don't, don't, don't, don't.
• 10:42
  Polly Mertens: You could die.
• 10:43
  Polly Mertens: Right, maybe it's not that, but it feels like it.
• 10:47
  Polly Mertens: Right, but it tells you like don't do the unknown, nope, it will always pull you back from that ledge of uncertainty.
• 10:54
  Polly Mertens: Right, it loves the control, the sense of control.
• 10:58
  Polly Mertens: And I gotta tell you, man, like, especially becoming you know like traveling a lot and just going okay, I'm going.
• 11:04
  Polly Mertens: You know, like people would say like how did you ever buy this RV that you have?
• 11:08
  Polly Mertens: And like a solo woman going off into the to you know wherever I would go, whether I was going, you know multi-state, or like off for the weekend or whatever and just driving a giant bus, right, and some people were like that's crazy.
• 11:20
  Polly Mertens: And I was like I wasn't, as it wasn't as scary for me.
• 11:24
  Polly Mertens: But I have this, I have this threshold for a.
• 11:30
  Polly Mertens: I have a high need for variety, love variety.
• 11:32
  Polly Mertens: I think it's because I've just trained my mind that scary often has freaking, amazing outcomes.
• 11:38
  Polly Mertens: Right, like the things that happen along the way, the growth that I step into, the who I get to be in the face of.
• 11:46
  Polly Mertens: I have no idea how this is going to turn out.
• 11:48
  Polly Mertens: Right, like all kinds of things are going on in my business and in my life and I'm like I have no idea.
• 11:53
  Polly Mertens: Like like a not a constant, never-ending trust fall, but like repeatedly choosing scary, repeatedly, consistently choosing uncomfortable, unknown, uncertain things, because, damn, I found that like that's where the fruit of life is out there.
• 12:12
  Polly Mertens: Right, and scary builds that courage.
• 12:14
  Polly Mertens: Right, it's not born in comfort.
• 12:16
  Polly Mertens: Scary isn't like I'm sorry, courage isn't born in comfort.
• 12:22
  Polly Mertens: You're not like oh, you know, I'm going to be so courageous and never, you know, leave your city, get out, do unknown things.
• 12:30
  Polly Mertens: No, it's built when you risk failing.
• 12:33
  Polly Mertens: It's built when you risk being judged or not knowing what's going to happen, like I have no idea, right.
• 12:41
  Polly Mertens: So that's being courageous in the face of.
• 12:46
  Polly Mertens: So I would say, like I say you know, you can do it scared or you can let scared stop you, right?
• 12:52
  Polly Mertens: So doing it scared, it's just a muscle man, it's a muscle of like okay, I don't know how this is going, and you like get, because a lot of people, people, a lot of us have that scared feeling and they they don't take it as a death, like something's like you, if you do scary often enough, you get used to that feeling.
• 13:12
  Polly Mertens: Go, yeah, this is pretty freaking scary.
• 13:13
  Polly Mertens: That's what scary feels like in my body.
• 13:15
  Polly Mertens: I'm scared right now, like there's a lot of uncertainty.
• 13:19
  Polly Mertens: I get it Like whoo, that dysregulation of like I don't know what's going to happen.
• 13:23
  Polly Mertens: Not like death, like don't put yourself in some death-defying places, but some unknown places, some uncertainty, uncomfortable conversations, uncomfortable exercise, vulnerability, whatever that looks hard, right.
• 13:38
  Polly Mertens: So every scary thing you do, it creates evidence that you can do scary, you can survive it and that survival builds huge self-trust.
• 13:50
  Polly Mertens: Like believing in yourself.
• 13:51
  Polly Mertens: You want the foundation of trust with yourself is like do something you're afraid of.
• 13:55
  Polly Mertens: Do something that's hard.
• 13:56
  Polly Mertens: Do something that you haven't done before.
• 13:58
  Polly Mertens: Do something that you've tried and failed at before.
• 13:59
  Polly Mertens: Like you know that self-trust is like do something you're afraid of, do something that's hard.
• 14:00
  Polly Mertens: Do something that you haven't done before.
• 14:01
  Polly Mertens: Do something that you've tried and failed at before.
• 14:01
  Polly Mertens: Like you know that self-trust is like man, I trust myself to get through this.
• 14:05
  Polly Mertens: Be resilient, find the way right, make the way, as they would say, or bounce back.
• 14:10
  Polly Mertens: Be like okay, correct and continue.
• 14:12
  Polly Mertens: Pivot, find something else and scary things free you from perfectionism.
• 14:17
  Polly Mertens: Like man, those eating disorder days that I had, perfectionism and control and all that.
• 14:24
  Polly Mertens: And when the outcome isn't guaranteed, when there's not, like I do this, this happens, I do this, this happens right, I'm sorry.
• 14:30
  Polly Mertens: My brain would be like kill me now.
• 14:32
  Polly Mertens: Like okay, my threshold for uncomfortable variety, lots of uncertainty, stretch that muscle right and letting go of control.
• 14:43
  Polly Mertens: Like I don't know.
• 14:44
  Polly Mertens: But whatever happens, like I'll figure it out Again.
• 14:47
  Polly Mertens: I've gotten this far in life, you know, banged up, bruised a little bit here and there along the way, whatever Relationships did or didn't work out, races went how I wanted, not how I wanted business.
• 14:57
  Polly Mertens: But you know, whatever, right you learn to be in the messy in the middle, in the, you know, going through it, maybe failing publicly, right, grow anyway, be scared and do it anyway.
• 15:11
  Polly Mertens: So you know I mean you've heard this of them is, if you've heard as many times as I have, courage is not the absence of fear, it's moving forward in spite of it.
• 15:20
  Polly Mertens: Right, just like a big takeaway.
• 15:22
  Polly Mertens: Like do it anyway, do it scared, right.
• 15:24
  Polly Mertens: So how do you begin?
• 15:25
  Polly Mertens: Like I want to give you some practical strategies to begin to grow that muscle, to transform from, you know, like the small little box I see sometimes people just playing in like this control box and everything is so known, everybody has a different level.
• 15:42
  Polly Mertens: You know we all fall on different scales of like what excites us, what lights us up?
• 15:48
  Polly Mertens: And I found in our Come Alive program, as we were doing it, as somebody was like, oh, I want to set this goal for 10 years from now.
• 15:55
  Polly Mertens: Like it was a particular outcome that she wanted and I was like, well, what if you did it in five years?
• 16:01
  Polly Mertens: Cause like 10 just felt flat when she said it.
• 16:04
  Polly Mertens: I was like, okay, you could do that.
• 16:07
  Polly Mertens: But I could just tell like it wasn't you know, like like come alive for the things that you want in your life.
• 16:13
  Polly Mertens: Otherwise I'll just like sort of sit out there and I knew the seed of what she wanted was like exciting for her, but 10 years was just like meh, it'll get there.
• 16:22
  Polly Mertens: You know, five years, one year, like like scared, like like scary, started to show up.
• 16:30
  Polly Mertens: I was like, okay, there we go, we're onto something right, like okay, that that, like you know, and if we move it in under a year, that was like terrifying, like no, can't do it Right.
• 16:39
  Polly Mertens: So find your own threshold Right, set your own goals that have that balance between you know, scary, exciting and holy crap.
• 16:49
  Polly Mertens: You know.
• 16:49
  Polly Mertens: I mean I was out on a hike and I was like doing this training hike and I'm like man, I want an epic list.
• 16:55
  Polly Mertens: Like not with me right now because of the short time frame, feels epic to me, like it probably would have felt epic but I would have trained so completely for it that I was like okay, it's like the next logical thing, like oh, really good challenge, you know whatever.
• 17:09
  Polly Mertens: But now it feels like this epic, like, oh my God, I'm getting up to something that I don't know if I can get up to.
• 17:14
  Polly Mertens: Could I train for six months for it and be ready for it?
• 17:17
  Polly Mertens: Yes, that felt like certainty could do that, have done that, something like that.
• 17:22
  Polly Mertens: But it's like, could I do it in three weeks?
• 17:24
  Polly Mertens: That scared me, that seems hard.
• 17:27
  Polly Mertens: So that's my threshold, right.
• 17:30
  Polly Mertens: So just know, like all this stuff, you don't have to be ready.
• 17:34
  Polly Mertens: You don't have to be ready.
• 17:37
  Polly Mertens: But you just start right and this like readiness, like, oh, I'll do it when I'm ready, that's just a myth.
• 17:42
  Polly Mertens: Okay, so momentum comes from getting into action, like moving your own threshold of scary like shorter if it's a timeframe thing, or like the amount that you're going to lean into something.
• 17:54
  Polly Mertens: And so I would say, you know, with things out there that nervously excite you or tickle you, like, ah, I would love to do that, but damn, that would be scary hard, whatever.
• 18:05
  Polly Mertens: There's a quote I like it says you know, be naive enough to start and stubborn enough to finish right, like I know, when I've taken on these races and stuff, I was like, oh my God, how am I going to do the six-day across the Rocky, you know.
• 18:20
  Polly Mertens: And at day five in the race, I was so, just completely, just like, just worked, you know, just like, oh my God, another day of doing this.
• 18:29
  Polly Mertens: I almost wanted to give up on the fifth day and the sixth day was the last day.
• 18:32
  Polly Mertens: It was the last six day was the last day and hardest day.
• 18:34
  Polly Mertens: And I went to bed like I don't know, and my partner was like you know what, just wake up tomorrow morning, you'll be fine, you'll be fine, you know.
• 18:42
  Polly Mertens: Just, it's crazy, the mind, things, you know, it wants to take me out Bullshit.
• 18:46
  Polly Mertens: Got up that day I was like I can't wait to finish this thing.
• 18:52
  Polly Mertens: So, with those goals, with those things that seem hard and scary, right, so break it down.
• 18:58
  Polly Mertens: You know, big goals are just small steps that you just stack together.
• 19:02
  Polly Mertens: Right, like this Mount Whitney is like, okay, got to do these things, right, doing an ultra marathon, doing a, you know, moving across the country.
• 19:10
  Polly Mertens: Big trip, buy a house, whatever it is.
• 19:12
  Polly Mertens: It's just lots of little segments.
• 19:14
  Polly Mertens: Right, like creating some milestones, creating some mini, mini challenges for you to get it done, and then just surrender and persist.
• 19:23
  Polly Mertens: Right, don't fight the discomfort, lean into it like, push through the messiness, the hard, the scary, like do it scared.
• 19:33
  Polly Mertens: And growth often happens like right in that middle.
• 19:35
  Polly Mertens: It's not usually in the start or the finish, it's like in the middle.
• 19:38
  Polly Mertens: You're like, oh, this is like boring or this is hard or whatever right.
• 19:44
  Polly Mertens: And sometimes the growth is like right in that middle where you push just a little further and you don't give up and you encourage yourself or you see something new for yourself or what, oh my God, it starts to get a little easier.
• 19:55
  Polly Mertens: You take your mind off of things.
• 19:56
  Polly Mertens: So you know, especially when it's like a big training thing or you're exercising, or if you're getting off the couch you know Samantha had the couch potato to you know, ultra runner, right.
• 20:06
  Polly Mertens: So surrender to the suck, right.
• 20:08
  Polly Mertens: It's when we're resisting the discomfort that we get into suffering, right, be like, okay, this is the journey, this is the path that I'm on.
• 20:16
  Polly Mertens: Like set that hard thing out there in front of you and like chug away at it, right.
• 20:21
  Polly Mertens: And you know, make it like a practical amount of time of.
• 20:27
  Polly Mertens: I do think you know, when you have a health and wellness goal, like I want to be, I don't.
• 20:33
  Polly Mertens: I don't love like lose weight goals, I love having a new lifestyle goal, cause it's like you've got to get into the not the suck, but get into the new lifestyle, and that may feel different than this old, comfortable one you had of you know who knows what eating and however much you were exercising.
• 20:47
  Polly Mertens: And if you Put yourself into this protocol of, like I am a healthy person, I take good care of myself, I put good things into my body, I move my body consistently, regularly, each day, each week, like that feels like a little bit of a suck, but guess what?
• 21:02
  Polly Mertens: Like it starts to become a new normal and you just become like this is what I do.
• 21:05
  Polly Mertens: Like it feels awkward to me not to move every day, right, and that's just who I've become.
• 21:11
  Polly Mertens: Right, that's just who I've become.
• 21:15
  Polly Mertens: Right, and you can too, depending on what it is you want to get up to.
• 21:16
  Polly Mertens: Like I'm getting into the habit of being a content creator, right, like making YouTube videos every week, I'm like, oh, a little new muscle, you know, and that'll grow.
• 21:22
  Polly Mertens: Like it's one a week right now, but eventually I want to be making them way more often than that, right, so you know, it's that confidence and it compounds, right.
• 21:33
  Polly Mertens: Like every time you see yourself do something, you say you're going to do, especially when it's hard.
• 21:38
  Polly Mertens: Like I came off that almost 17 miles yesterday, seven hours.
• 21:41
  Polly Mertens: I was like, holy crap, look at me, look at me, right, like me looking at me, not everybody else, look at me.
• 21:51
  Polly Mertens: But like, look at you, girl, check you out.
• 21:53
  Polly Mertens: You know I got at the end.
• 21:54
  Polly Mertens: I was like that was a, that was a.
• 21:57
  Polly Mertens: You know, I was only.
• 21:57
  Polly Mertens: I was telling Samantha I was only going to be five to six hours and turned into seven because I was a little sore.
• 22:03
  Polly Mertens: I had a heavy pack on yesterday that I didn't calculate into that, so got a little slowed down seven hours but had enough food, plenty of water, so it was all good.
• 22:12
  Polly Mertens: So when you're ready to quit something, right, like I was like, oh man, I'm still out here, and it was getting sunny, I was getting a little sunbaked, you know, just persist a little longer in those things that are worth doing, right.
• 22:23
  Polly Mertens: Oftentimes that's where the magic is, where you just get out there and you're just like, okay, I'm going to go.
• 22:28
  Polly Mertens: You know, there was this one point where I could have turned around.
• 22:31
  Polly Mertens: I was like three hours and 40 minutes in and I saw this peak that I wanted to get to and Samantha's like you don't need to do it, like quit it.
• 22:38
  Polly Mertens: You know five to six hours, what are you trying to do?
• 22:40
  Polly Mertens: Seven to eight hours.
• 22:41
  Polly Mertens: I was like, yeah, you're probably right.
• 22:42
  Polly Mertens: And I got.
• 22:48
  Polly Mertens: And I noticed I got to this point and I was like, oh yeah, I can just.
• 22:51
  Polly Mertens: And so I went another 20, 25 minutes and what was cool is it helped me hit that 3,000 feet of elevation gain.
• 22:58
  Polly Mertens: But then I noticed I had missed something on the map and it just like wound around.
• 23:02
  Polly Mertens: It was like this, I don't know, anyway, it would have taken me another half an hour to get to the top.
• 23:07
  Polly Mertens: And I was like, okay, well, half an hour, there is still going to take me another half an hour to get back.
• 23:10
  Polly Mertens: That's going to add another hour.
• 23:11
  Polly Mertens: And I was like, okay, nope, cutting it right.
• 23:14
  Polly Mertens: But I persisted.
• 23:16
  Polly Mertens: I was like I want to get a little further, a little further.
• 23:18
  Polly Mertens: And it just it gave me that 3,000 feet.
• 23:20
  Polly Mertens: That was awesome.
• 23:21
  Polly Mertens: That felt like a huge yay, win, winning, right.
• 23:25
  Polly Mertens: So I really want you to take a lot from this that you know this is all with inside of you, right?
• 23:33
  Polly Mertens: There's so much magic and miracles that we can be up to right.
• 23:37
  Polly Mertens: And doing the hard things, doing the scary things builds courage, not just resilience.
• 23:44
  Polly Mertens: Hard is known and scary is unknown, right, and it all builds that self-trust.
• 23:50
  Polly Mertens: Just start naively.
• 23:51
  Polly Mertens: You don't need to know, like, how this is going to turn out, if you're going to make it or whatever.
• 23:55
  Polly Mertens: Some things are just worth starting, some things are worth challenging, right.
• 23:58
  Polly Mertens: So I want to give you like four things to strategies for transformation here.
• 24:06
  Polly Mertens: So start before you're ready.
• 24:07
  Polly Mertens: Just do it right.
• 24:09
  Polly Mertens: Be naive enough to start it even if you don't know how it's going to work out.
• 24:13
  Polly Mertens: Break it down.
• 24:14
  Polly Mertens: Big goals are just small goals stacked together.
• 24:19
  Polly Mertens: Surrender and persist Like, whew, I'm surrendering to this is what I've signed up for.
• 24:24
  Polly Mertens: It's not always going to be pretty, you know, may not be 100% every time I go about doing it, but I'm going to persist.
• 24:32
  Polly Mertens: So don't fight the discomfort.
• 24:33
  Polly Mertens: Lean into it.
• 24:34
  Polly Mertens: You know it often happens in that I say, well, we can go about that in habits on another time.
• 24:38
  Polly Mertens: And the compounding effect right, hard or scary, conquering those two adds to your confidence bank, your confidence bank account, making the next one.
• 24:50
  Polly Mertens: Next time you do something hard or scary, feel more possible, right?
• 24:54
  Polly Mertens: So, when you're ready to quit, persist a little longer and that's where your magic can happen, right?
• 25:01
  Polly Mertens: So your homework, your takeaway, your one thing you know confidence and courage, unless you're like a little baby.
• 25:08
  Polly Mertens: But then it gets like conditioned out of us.
• 25:10
  Polly Mertens: It's not what we're born with.
• 25:11
  Polly Mertens: You know, babies, yeah, they're just like free, whatever they're not.
• 25:14
  Polly Mertens: They're taught not to have confidence, taught not to be courageous, but they just don't know any better.
• 25:19
  Polly Mertens: But then we, we learn, like all these safety things oh, put your seatbelt on, oh, wear your life jacket, whatever, right, and it sort of trains us like we're fragile.
• 25:28
  Polly Mertens: So these courage and confidence muscles, they're built through practice.
• 25:35
  Polly Mertens: It's getting out there and doing scary anyway, doing hard anyway, right, one hard thing, one scary thing at a time.
• 25:41
  Polly Mertens: So the one thing is, choose one hard thing that you've been avoiding, but it would make a difference in your life, like you know that, like whoa and it would, it would light you up to have that outcome.
• 25:53
  Polly Mertens: Whatever that hard path is, whatever that hard route is to get to, you're like, damn, I'd love to have that.
• 26:00
  Polly Mertens: I was like, oh man, put it out there and take the first step this week and if there's something scary that you've been avoiding.
• 26:07
  Polly Mertens: Put it.
• 26:08
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, sign me up, do it, do it, do it, do it and do it.
• 26:13
  Polly Mertens: Even if it's messy or imperfect, all right.
• 26:19
  Polly Mertens: And your awesome life isn't waiting on the easy road.
• 26:20
  Polly Mertens: You know, your everyday awesome life, it's not on the easy road.
• 26:23
  Polly Mertens: It's often just waiting past the hard and the scary.
• 26:26
  Polly Mertens: You know, take one step and then another, and then another.
• 26:31
  Polly Mertens: I hope you got something out of this Mount Whitney's in a couple weeks for me.
• 26:35
  Polly Mertens: Stay tuned.
• 26:35
  Polly Mertens: I'm sure we'll be sharing more about that.
• 26:37
  Polly Mertens: Love you, samantha.
• 26:38
  Polly Mertens: Missed you today, sister, and I want to remind you, beautiful humans, how your life feels is more important than how it looks, and every day is your opportunity to find your awesome.