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Transcript

Now that's a Haunted House! · Scott & Ally on Demand

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_02: I I have to read a text really quick, then I have to play something for you.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_02: Uh so this text comes in from uh forty one oh three.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_02: They're referencing uh the audio I played you of uh when we were doing the who's the scariest person in your life?
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_02: But we're kind of looking for it on a more humorous trend.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_02: And this woman said, Well, the scariest friend in my life is my sister, went through this litany of things because she is able to be home.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_03: She warms her kids' clothes in the dryer before they leave the house in the morning, just so they can put on warm clothes.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_03: Is that the best feeling in the world?
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, it is.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_03: Who has time for that?
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_02: Well, somebody that can stay home.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_02: And 4103 says that mom uh would uh uh would uh would be more scary if she uh did all that and had a full-time job.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, oh, uh, but uh if I stayed at home, I'd have more time uh for effort.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_02: Sure.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_02: No, you wouldn't.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_02: No That's an excuse.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_02: I think that I would get sick of it.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_03: No, well, yeah.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_03: But I'm not that I'm not that person.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_03: Like I I just told you yesterday I took a phone call while making dinner just so I could get out of making dinner.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_02: There you go.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_03: So see that's the amount of effort that I want to put in there.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_02: So I know it sounds like we're all like, well, yeah, if I had more time in this and that.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_02: No, you wouldn't.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, really.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_02: But I appreciate that.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_02: In your mind.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_02: I appreciate that it's built into that woman's being that she wants to do that.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_02: That's very sweet, that's very kind.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_02: Um common?
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_02: No, not at all.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_02: Other uh not so common thing being named the sexiest man of the year like Noel Wiley.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my gosh, but he totally is.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_02: Well, he's a good looking dude, and it it surrounds him persona and everything.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_02: But his kids are having a problem with it.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_02: Listen to this.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: My older kids' reaction was markedly profound.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_01: My son went, What?
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_01: Like, oh, like this is gonna make my life so much harder now.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_01: But that's cool, dad.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: My daughter was just like, no way.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: Because I think she's gonna tease me about this for the next 50 years, assuming I live to 105.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_03: You know what though?
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_03: Ironically, and this is not to sound creepy, like I think my dad's very attractive.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_03: So if he this is not to sound creepy, but it just sounded creepy.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but I think if my dad was voted sexiest man on the cover of a magazine, I'd be like, heck yeah.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_03: Mark Payne, he is, he's a fox.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_03: Come on.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_02: You're 43, not you know, of later teen years, where it might really mess with your flex a little bit.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah, because I could easily see.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_03: Do you remember the era of the MILF?
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_03: So again, I have to mention this again.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_03: My friend Danielle's mom, uh, R.I.P.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_03: love her so much.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_03: Total MILF.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_03: Total.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_03: And it was kind of the running joke that everyone would say how attractive and hot Tina was.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_02: You do realize Tina's the one that raised the daughter to throw a Pepsi can at a random strangers.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_03: Also tracks.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_03: So when when I think in Danielle's younger days, so so Danielle was the daughter.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_03: I think in Danielle's younger days when everybody'd be like, Oh, your mom's a MILF, there's always the reaction of like, come on, you gotta do these.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_03: But you're right, as you get older, if somebody was like, Oh, Gail's a MILF, I'd be like, Yeah, she is, okay.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_02: Well, there's a thought that never has crossed my mind.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_02: I I apologize, Gail.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_02: I do want your recipe for the Sunday apples, but that's here nor there.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_02: Can't really butter her up by saying, But by the way, listen here, you hot MILF, Gail.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_02: Can I get your recipe?
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_02: I those words probably will never pass through my mouth, other than them happening one time right there.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_03: Hey, you know what?
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_03: She gets you in other ways.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_03: Gets you is the way.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_02: Uh yeah, all right.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_02: Now I'm gonna ask you a serious question.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_02: You uh well, not really serious, but Hallie like repositioned her head like, I'm listening.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_02: Let's say you you recently bought a house.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it was within the past year or so.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_02: Now uh less than a year.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's right.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_02: Uh so here's the here's the question on this.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_02: If you went in there and legitimately found out it was haunted, like they didn't tell you.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_02: I see, I think there's a law in New York State.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_02: They're supposed to, if they know about it, sort of give me the heads up.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I think I think so too.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, uh, but at least that is an urban legend that I think we've checked on before and are pretty right on.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_02: But let's say you were never told and you're in there, and now every day there is a stranger standing in your kitchen, but obviously it's an apparition, right?
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_02: Would you know, friend?
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_02: Would you yeah, right?
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_02: Well, and I mean, let's say it's not having a nice conversation with you, it's just looking at you.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I mean, this thing's giving you the creep out.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_03: Here's what I would hate about this thing is it would probably do what every ghost does, which would really piss me off, is it would move stuff and drop stuff.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_02: I I mean, unless it would clean the counters off at night, in which case, great ghost.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_02: Keep that ghost.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_03: But it doesn't.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_03: Ghosts do the thing that I hate so much, which I like things in a certain place.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_03: Like I've got the things on my counters and it is set a certain way.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_03: So if a ghost comes in and messes up my house, unless you plan on folding my laundry, get out.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_02: That's not no that we have to wait for that mom to die that was uh taking care of her kids with all the warm bread and everything like that.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, then she'd be the ghost that would come back and be like, let me dust.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_03: Haunt me all day long, sister.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_02: No, but if it was just one of those things.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_02: So, you know, there it is.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_02: Every morning you come out at 4'10 for coffee and the thing is just looking at you.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_02: Would you probably put the house back on the market?
• 5:07
  unknown: Yeah.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_02: And also not tell the next person.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, because I don't think I could comfortably stay at home by myself then.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_02: It would freak you out.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you know.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_03: Because Junior ain't protecting me, I can tell you that much.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_02: He's not even protecting the dog bone you're throwing in front of him anymore.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_02: He's that old.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_02: Listen to this woman that uh got a haunted house that wasn't expecting it and how she dealt with it.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: The entire time we walked through the house, I had this feeling in my chest that I couldn't explain.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: Not fear, more like homesickness, which makes absolutely no sense when you're standing somewhere you've never seen before.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: There were other little things.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: I knew the linen closet upstairs was going to stick before I opened it.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: I knew there was a window behind a boarded up section of the attic.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: Then I started to find things moved.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing too dramatic.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: Once I came home from work and I found an old music box sitting in the middle of our kitchen counter.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'd never seen it before.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: My husband hadn't either.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: We figured it must have been left somewhere in the house by the previous owner and one of us had just found it and forgotten about it, except neither of us had.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: So we put it in the attic.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: Two days later, it was back downstairs.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: Uh-oh.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: That's when we started joking around saying that we had a ghost.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so Exactly.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_02: What were the key signs?
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_02: A sticky linen closet.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_02: Well, always there.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_02: They're all why do ghosts love towels?
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, right?
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_02: Well, it seems there's always a linen closet involved.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_02: You have a board up section of an attic?
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_03: Wait, I think I know why ghosts love towels.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, because that's where they keep the sheets?
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_03: Most of the Oh, that's good.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_03: Because most of the the ghosts come from like Civil War era era when they didn't have the softest of towels.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_03: And now we have the softest.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, exactly.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_02: That's a total made-up rumor that we just came up with.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_03: It is.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_02: But I think you're right.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_02: Downey wasn't a hot item back in the uh 1800s.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_03: So now they get our towels that are like the plushest of plush.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, okay.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_03: That then they're like, ah.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_03: Welcome.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_02: Could be that.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_02: But you also have a boarded up section of your attic.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_02: That is a little freaky.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what's comfortable to them?
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_02: The the signs that this is there.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_02: But always a music box, too.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_02: How many movies have included a damn music box?
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_03: That and the other one that I think comes up the most often, and I kind of wonder on this one, what's with them always moving the keys?
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_03: Did you ever notice that keys are always moved?
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_02: No, I thought about that one, but that's another good one.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_03: Knocked off the table.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_03: Is it because it's the thing we use the most and they're trying to get our attention the most?
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe it's that, or they don't want us to leave so they can, you know, possess our souls uh demonically.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_02: That's extreme, but uh there you have it.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_03: I haven't had a friend in a while.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_03: Right?
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_03: Stick around.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_03: Hang out and be with me.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, right.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, this is becoming a very bad movie plot.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_03: It it is, but it all these things kind of make sense.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I I'm not sure I'd stick around, to be honest with you.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I don't I don't know that I need that.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_03: I would not.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_03: I like a very quiet house.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_02: If there's all of a sudden I hear I mean, if there's moaning in the house, we know where it's coming from and it ain't the ghost.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, if I all of a sudden hold on.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_03: I gotta get the keys.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_03: If I'm sleeping.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_03: I can't get these keys out.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_03: My god, it sounds like you're rifling through an entire five below in there.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_03: If I pretty much.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_03: If I'm sleeping peacefully and all of a sudden,