Latest / Stuff Mom Never Told You / Happy Hour #144: Stressin' Around the Christmas Tree

Transcript

Happy Hour #144: Stressin' Around the Christmas Tree · Stuff Mom Never Told You

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to Steff.
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: I've never told you a production of iHeartRadio, and welcome
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: to another happy hour. This is one of those rare
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: occasions where I feel like we're like reaching across time
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: because we're recording it the day it comes out, which
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: is not usually the case. SOMETI Well, okay, but I
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: would say, like percentage wise, it's not usually the case me.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: But one of the reasons that is is because we
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: just got back from the holidays, which is the topic
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: of this happy hour. But first, if you choose to drink,
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: please do so responsibly. Samantha, what are you sipping on?
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: I'm drinking on some cold water.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: It is cold, Yeah it is.
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: My feet are freezing, he would think it is on.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: Oh really, yes, yes, nice, Okay, I've got my red wine. Nice.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: Because this is I wouldn't call this like an unhappy hour,
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: but it is kind of complaining love it. But before
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: we get into that, I did want to ask Samantha,
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: how was your holiday. We did get to actually hang
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: out in person recently, but it was we didn't get
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: to talk too much. It was lovely, but we didn't
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: get to really go into it right.
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: It was funny actually. So we went to South Carolina
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: for with our partner's family. They are delight. His uncle
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: who actually lives in North Georgia, oh about probably twenty
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: minutes outside of Delannaga, he joined and it was really
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: nice to meet him and they were very nice and
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: kind and we had great food, very stuffed. Immediately after
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: Thanksgiving lunch because we had it around two, we took
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: a nap. I took an hour nap immediately. It was
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: sol bye, but it was really nice. The weather was
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: well like there was a couple of rainy days but
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: not too bad. And then we had good food out
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: and about some really good barbecue that was like, I think,
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: the best barbecue I've had in a while. Oh yes,
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: it was delicious and we had the best time on
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: the foods. So yeah, nothing is like an eventful which
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: we love.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, oh yeah, that's all you can which we love.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: Mine was pretty good too. Mine was more uneventful than
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: I thought I would be, but it was.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: There were some events.
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: I want to start by saying, I got my car washed,
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: which is a big deal because that my car just
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: sits there and it looked really bad when I got
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: it washed I drove home. It was fine because I
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: know I talked about how nervous I was about that.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: It was okay.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: My little brother didn't come because yes, two of my
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: siblings are not talking to each.
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: Other holidays if someone's not talking to somebody.
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: Exactly, and we did call him and it was fine.
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: But because of that, we cooked a lot less food
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: this year, which was nice, but it got eaten and
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: I didn't have any leftovers zero wow. Yeah, which is
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: like the goal. But then my mom was like, well,
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: we need to cook more at it. I said, no,
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: this was the point we wanted to not so yeah, anyway,
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: we'll see how that goes. But the main thing I
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: wanted to talk about today, which we've talked about previously
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: in our episode. I think we're going to rerun this
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: soon on emotional labor around the holidays, is that I
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: have always missed my friend's friends Giving.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: I never go.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: I've always wanted to go, but I don't go because
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: I helped my mom with all of the decorations and
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: we do that the weekend of Thanksgiving, and so this
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: year I was really it was kind of strategic. I
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: knew there was gonna be drama. In the family that
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: I was like, I'm really gonna go. I'm leaving on Saturday,
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: is what I said. I'm on Saturday. So we're gonna
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: go and get all the decorations done that morning.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: And to be clear, I love hanging out with my mob.
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: It has nothing to do with that.
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: Well, she's great, but she kept saying, you know, we
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: don't have to do it, I'll do it myself. And
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: I kept saying it's impossible. You cannot do this by yourself.
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: And so that morning she was putting it off and
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: She's like, no, I just kind of want to hang
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: out with you and talk with you as long as
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: we can.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: And I was like, we're getting this Christmas tree. We're
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: doing it.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: And she wanted to go to this place that's a
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: bit further than when we normally, god say, like a
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: fifteen minute drive. And I don't know if you know
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: this about me, listeners, I am very paranoid about the
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: transporting of the Christmas tree. I'm very scared it will
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: fall off. It is a tense time. I don't enjoy it.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: I was already tense, is what I'm saying. I'm going
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: into the situation tinse and the guy at the farm
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: was falling is around and he was trying to be helpful,
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: but he was making me more tense because he was
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: like falling us around and he's like, what, hey, are
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: you looking for?
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: What with? And I was like, I just know it
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: when I believe me.
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: I tried to Christmas there.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: He was really trustful, except.
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: The man is not a part of your family.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: No, no.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: And so finally we picked the tree and I'm trying
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: to rush, but not rush because I don't.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: Want it anyway.
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: I'm on this deadline because I'm trying to get to
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: the friends giving right pick the tree. He ties it
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: to the roof and I'm I'm like watching him do it.
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: And I've always thought there must be some kind of training.
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: I've learned there isn't. And I pointed at one and
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh, that one doesn't look and he
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: was like, no, it's it's like.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: Okay, okay.
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: And so.
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: I am very concerned about this tree. We get in
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: the car. I'm watching out of the windows in the mirrors.
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: I see the car, Samantha, the car the tree slowly
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: move and I'm I'm panicking. I'm like washing it, like
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: oh no, it's coming off, and all of the cars
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: behind us were way way back, and eventually it was
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: like sideways on the roof and I said, very calmly,
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: I think to my mom, you're gonna have to pull over.
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: It's coming off.
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: And so she pulls over and I tied the tree.
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: It had completely come undone, the whole thing, like it
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: was barely hanging on. I'm glad we didn't lose the twine.
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: I don't know what we would have done. So I tied.
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: I did this whole thing.
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: I was up on the roof and tying and looping
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: and all this stuff which I don't been I had
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: always assumed I couldn't do and been afraid I would
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: be asked. And my mom, joking said, everyone probably thinks
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: we're just two stupid women who don't know how to
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: tie a Christmas tree.
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: And it was the dude.
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: Dumb right, She's right, but.
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: It was him, and we were I mean, people were
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: definitely like, WHOA, what's going on with them?
• 7:21
  Speaker 3: The dude mess it up?
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: He up?
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: And I actually like, I don't think this is true
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: at all, But I had a paranoid brain moment was
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: like did he purposely do that? Or did anyone else
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: experience this, because that could have been really dangerous. Anyway,
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: I tied it. I tied it way better than good.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: We got home perfectly fine, although I was I was
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: keyed up.
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: We may start building other things. I'll chuck my own
• 7:49
  Speaker 3: tree down. Do you think that?
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: Well, it's funny because the title of this outline says,
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: I don't need no man to put up this Christmas tree.
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: And I talked about this in I believe in their
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: Emotional Labor episode where for a while my dad just
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: wasn't around during the holidays, and I kind of, like
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: spitefully also out of necessity, took it on myself to
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: be like all of the things he used to do,
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: I can do it. I don't need him. And one
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: of them was the Christmas tree. He used to do that,
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: or at least he would like with the pudding up
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: of it, he would do it. So I did have
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: many thoughts like that's a mythic, yes indeed, But I
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: carried it in by myself. My mom and I put
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: it up by ourselves. It's like eight to ten boxes,
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: some of them really heavy. We brought down the stairs,
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: and I mean, I'm not like looking for an award
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: for this, but she could not have done that by herself.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: But she could not have done right.
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: And it was exhausting, Like I hit my head in
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: the attic, I had this huge headache.
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: I was sore, so I miss friends.
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: Giving is ultimately what happened because I felt I did.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: Not make it. I didn't make it, but I did try.
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: I was like, but it's just like it really does
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: take a lot to, as they say in heavy quotes,
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: make the magic happen. But yeah, I mean, we're also
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: very lucky that we can do this, Like I can't
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: go up the stairs and carry these boxes.
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: I can do these things. But it was it's no joke.
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: And I I'm now like, I'll just I'm gonna check
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: all of these Christmas tree tiles.
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: Last year, a dude said he was okay, and he
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: was not.
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: It was like it looked to me like it was
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: clearly coming undone. Like normally I wouldn't have even pointed
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: it out because I'm too like polite, and I was like,
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: I don't want to offend him, but it looked like
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: it was coming undone.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: But he's like, h it was.
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: It was sideways on dock mil the car nope, I.
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: Stay away from people with trees, not like on there smart. No,
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: It's kind of like the ladders that you see, Like
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: I'm like, I don't believe you, or anything in the
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: back of a truck. Yeah, I don't believe you, and
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: when trying to get away from you as quickly as possible.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: An entire generation traumatized by final destination.
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: I told you that one of my friend's uncle actually
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: had a ladder he went into his car that fell off,
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: flew off a van. Yeah, and he's not okay, Like
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: he's okay anyway. But yeah, so I actually know someone.
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: I know someone that pull came off and it impaled
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: the seat extra luckily no one was in his.
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: See that that is a vital destination. You're like, ah, yeah,
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: that was That's going to happen to me. But yeah,
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: so those nightmare we get those.
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: Yes, it just made me think about because I told
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: my mom I and I kind of feel bad because
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: she clearly wanted to relax, and I was like, we
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: have it takes us about four.
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: Hours to do all this stuff. We've gotta go. But
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: then I was so stressed from the tree almost coming off.
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: I was like sitting trying and get my heart to
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: slow down. So yeah, it was just another instance of
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: like this is this is hard work, and people really
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: don't necessarily get any credit for it, right, I sometimes do.
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: I had a long conversation with my partner's mother, who
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: is very Southern's. She was raised in Georgia Belye as
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: well Gainesville, so close to the Nick of the Woods.
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: But we were talking about the Southern living and how
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: it traumatized her generation of women, and talking about and
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: that could be a whole com like maybe it should
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: be a whole magazine influences of our boomer parents who
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: really felt that they failed if they did not have
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: a Martha Stewart level of home. And they were talking
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: about the decoration and how she talked about how she
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: regretted ever thinking that was away and cannot believe she
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: was wasted so much of her life trying to meet that.
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: And by the way, her house is immaculate and had
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: cute Christmas decorations before I walked in, Like I was
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: like looking around, what right, but way more decorations than
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: we had, Like I'd given up completely with Christmas, but
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: like she still has things Christmas lights everywhere, little Christmas
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: trees here and they are very cute, like not over
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: the top though, But my mother and I've talked about
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: this before, has a whole like Elftown and a Christmas
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: town on her mantle where the fakes snow and when
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: I mean fake snow everywhere. But then she just changed
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: over her false stuff, which has like vines and leaves everywhere,
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: and I'm like, what in the hell is this? They're gorgeous,
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: not gonna lie. But at the same time, like the
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: amount of words that she talks about and how much
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: she is in pain after the fact, like this is
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: not worth it. But the fact that things like Southern Living,
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: which before social media told us what anything was bad,
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: they had these magazines telling them this was what they
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: needed to do, and I feel like they did way
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: more work because I think at this point many of us,
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: not all of us, many of us are like, uh no,
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: we're not doing that. Yeah, yeah, you do it yourself.
• 13:14
  Speaker 3: I've seen I've seen the price that that told we
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: told this, Yeah, thank you. So I feel like that's
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: gonna be a conversation with we should have. But yeah,
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: my she she and my mother are probably around the
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: same age, and she was talking about how she really
• 13:28
  Speaker 3: regretted believing the Southern Living magazine lifestyle.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: Ooh, that is a good point. That's really interesting.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: We should talk about that because I do you want
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: to specify? Are we don't do that much like it?
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: It does take us three to four hours, but we
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: don't do like that Southern living style. And my mom
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: is definitely like, over the years, kind of backed off
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: of like she doesn't do stuff for like a lot
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: of the other holidays anymore where she used to, and
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: like half of the Christmas stuff doesn't even come down anymore,
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: so she's backed off. I just put up like a
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: tree with my Star Wars ornaments in my lights, and
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: that's it. So I also, I did say this in
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: the emotional Labor episode, but it's worth repeating. I don't
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: think anyone else in my family would care if we
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: didn't do it right, like the They might be kind
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: of sad that the I don't know, like the lights
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: aren't there, but they would they're not. It's more of
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: we both kind we like it of the changing of
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: decorations or to the lights. I like the lights, but
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: I don't want it to make it sound like that.
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: That's why there's sort of a strange thing of you know,
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: they don't really help, but they also don't really care.
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: Like that, I will say the hypocritical part of me
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: is if I went home and it wasn't decorated, I'd
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: be like, mom, where's all that stuff? Because like I
• 14:58
  Speaker 3: have the fun. Yeah, I was a spoiled child when
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: it comes to seeing like beautiful decorations. Again, I also
• 15:04
  Speaker 3: knew the price it took, and of course I was
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: happy that she was taking care of herself, but also
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: would be concerned like are you okay?
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: Right? Right?
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: And I'm the same way, And I feel like if
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: I came home and my mom hadn't done anything, I
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: would feel sad.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: I would feel worried, like you, But.
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: I would also feel kind of sad because I would
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: think it was because she didn't have anyone who could her.
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: Who could help her, she was hurting, or she's getting older,
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: and all of that makes me very.
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, but I also don't. Sometimes I worry
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: that I'm pushing her more.
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: The other part was like, how are we helping her?
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: Are we helping her? Right? So last year trying to
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: help my mom, my sister who would talked about the
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: oldest sibling. Oldest daughter specifically does a lot of the
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: grunt work in helping parents. Took care of presents, so
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: essentially not necessarily like wrapping it because my mother loves
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: rapping and she is again Southern living level, like professional
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: level of rapping, but like she would just I would
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: send what I would want and my sister would go
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: through it and do it for me, which was really
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: silly because it's why didn't I do that on my own,
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: because I am an adult know how to order things
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: I don't know, But like, she took it, and then
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: today this year she was like, she's like, I'm not
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: doing this anymore. You do it. And I was like, oh,
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: of course I would have done that originally, but it
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: just kind of made sense because you always do take over.
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: But she was doing that to help my mom. But
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: then it got too much for her because she has
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: her own family. I'm like, oh, yeah, that makes perfect
• 16:48
  Speaker 3: I can do it. But it was one of those
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: weird moments of like, oh, yeah, I naturally just allowed
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: my oldest sister to take over, and she said it
• 16:57
  Speaker 3: for you. She's like, I'm not doing this anymore, but.
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: At least she said that you know.
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm glad she got it. Like, I'm glad she
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: was able to acknowledge and I don't want to do
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: this for this year. Right, our family did increase. We
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: have six new members of our family this year, so
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: like I think that part was like no.
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: Right, yeah, yeah, And I feel like I do think
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: my mom is like I'm a people pleaser, but she
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: is a people pleaser. Yeah, so we didn't We had
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: a conversation about it this year, but she has, like
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: I do try to convince her, like you do not
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: need to do all of that.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: That's fine, but we don't need that. We don't want that.
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: But it is a strange spot where she kept saying
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: like I can do it by myself, and maybe what
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: she meant was we're not going to do it, but
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: I kept being like, no, you can't do it by yourself.
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: For doing it now.
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: So it's sort of one of those strange spots of
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: like I don't know how much of it is she
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: was trying to be nice to me and didn't want
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: me to work, or maybe she was like maybe we
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: just won't do it, and then we didn't want to
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: tell me you're right, right, So it was interesting. I'm
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: glad we did it. I'm sad I miss friendsgiving. One
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: of these years, I will make it.
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: I tried so hard.
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: Our our friends gift muss as we talked about what
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: is happening this Saturday?
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: Oh nice, I hope the terrible? Oh nice? Yes, I
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: feel like there was just a big joke about that.
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: But I am that person drinks and I'm gonna take
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: them both rolled in drinks.
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: There you go.
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: That's great, honestly, honestly, I well, I don't have to
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: hear about that. I feel like this year I did
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: tell at least some of my friends about it's not
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: easy for me to do friends gifts right after, like
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: if we did it a later date, but the schedules
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: didn't because we did have a later anyway it did.
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: It didn't work out, But maybe next year one more time.
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: Yes, I do want to give a quick, very quick
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: update because I said I was nervous. I hadn't talked
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: to my mom about that book. I we didn't really
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: talk about it, but everyone mentioned it in sort of
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: a strange, very kind way. But I was like, now,
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: I think they were all just like, we don't want
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: to discuss it. If she doesn't want to discuss it,
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: but they were all like, it's really good.
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: We really liked it.
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: Your brother too, Yeah, yeah they yeah.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: And then my mom got me to sign some of them.
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: And she's giving them like her therapist as a book
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: cal and they're doing it for their book.
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: What. No, that's that's a way to advocate though. Everybody
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: buy the book.
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: Yes. I was like, wow, that's really sweet.
• 19:43
  Speaker 3: I y very interesting. Mom's respected to being like, yeah,
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: that's my daughter. She's talking about this and this is
• 19:50
  Speaker 3: what she's talking about in the trauma of coming out, like.
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: I know, but she's She's seemed pretty confident that they
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: would like it.
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I do know. Her therapist is very liberal. She
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: would have to be to work with my mom. Okay.
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: I find that vaccinating because also when I went to
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: my partner's family's mother's house, she had two copies because
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: I had sent her one and she bought one, and
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: the uncle, who was very conservative, apparently had said some things.
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: I was like, obviously very conservative.
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: I was like, you wrote it.
• 20:23
  Speaker 3: Like my partner, he's amazing, Like he he shouts very
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: loudly about my book, and I'm like, oh, thank you,
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: says something to him, and he picks it up and
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: starts reading it, and I'm like, we all just sat
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: there and he read it for a good five minutes
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: and then he puts it that he's like interesting. So
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: I don't know what already read it either, though probably
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: for the day. Looking for a Christmas gift, you should
• 20:47
  Speaker 3: buy this book.
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: Oh absolutely absolutely I did. I do want to come
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: back and talk. Maybe we can do this in another
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: happy hour Monday, Mini. I do want to talk about
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: the because I had my brother's fiance. His grandfather came
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: and he he's very nice, but he likes to do
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: the thing where he'll be like, are you gonna tell
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: me women don't like cooking in the kitchen? And I'm like,
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: but he always addresses it to me because he knows,
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: like I'm a feminist, right right right, And then his
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: granddaughter is always like stop it. But it's just a
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: very interesting He's never like really upset me. He said
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: some things where I'm like, whoa, But it is an
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: interesting thing when they're like, come on right, feminist, right
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: right right?
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: You know this is gonna piss me off, or at
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: least like I'm gonna give you a look or to
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: play it off and be nice, which is all awkward.
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: I was generally just like, Okay, it's just laugh and
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: move on.
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: With my brother. He does that to me a lot,
• 21:53
  Speaker 3: and I'm just like, and then I just insult him.
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well that's another another way to do it.
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: Well.
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: Cheers ever, Just yeah, let us know. I would love
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: to hear from listeners about any of your friends giving
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: memories or traditions or any of your thoughts about any
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: of this, because I know we talked about that in
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: our recent Monday Mini. It'd be great to read some
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: of those. So yeah, if you would like to contact us,
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: you can. Our email is Stuff Media, mom Stuff at
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: iHeartMedia dot com, combind us on Twitter at mom Stop podcast,
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: or on Instagram and TikTok at stuff I've Never told you.
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: We have a Tea Polk store, and yes we do
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: have a book.
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: If you're looking for gifts, yes you can get it
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: wherever you get your books. Thanks as always to our
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: super produced Christina, our executive producer Maya, and our contributor Joey.
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: Thank you, and thanks to you for listening Stuff I
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: Never told you. Use production of iHeart Radio for more podcasts
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: or my heart Radio. You can check out the heart
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: Radio Apple podcasts, or if you listened to your favorite shows,