Latest / DevQuestions with Tim Corey / 249. Why Employers Don't Treat You Like You Expect

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249. Why Employers Don't Treat You Like You Expect · DevQuestions with Tim Corey

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: If you've applied to a job recently or asked for a raise, you have probably noticed that your employer doesn't treat you the way that you think they should.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_01: Or maybe you aren't getting paid what you thought you deserved.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you're even on a performance improvement plan and you don't understand why.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_01: It's easy to blame your employer, but it's often a glaring issue that you need to address first.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_01: So let's talk about it in today's episode of Dev Questions.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Dev Questions Podcast with Tim Corey.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_01: Software development is more than just writing code.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_01: So let's talk about the rest of it.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_01: Specifically, let's talk about why employers don't treat you like you expect.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_01: Now, each person is the hero of their own story.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: Your perception of yourself is based upon what you think you know, what your backstory is, what your intentions are.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: But that's not what others see.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: They see your actions, your results, and your impact.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_01: And that's where a disconnect happens.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: Let's talk through some examples.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: Number one, let's say you apply for a job, but you get no response back from the employer, even though you thought you were perfect for the position.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: So why could that happen?
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_01: Well, what do they know of you?
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: So they know only what you gave them.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: Now, in your mind, you know all about yourself and how great you are and how you're a perfect fit for this role.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_01: But did that come through?
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_01: So they don't know who applied.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_01: They just know that on paper, this information doesn't necessarily seem to match up with what they're expecting.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: They also may be looking for something different than what you expect them to be looking for.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: You may say, well, for this position, they have these things, they probably look are looking for these things primarily, and that's what I'm best at.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: But they may think that they want these other things that you're not as good at.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: It all depends on their perspective versus yours.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: And when you're applying for a job, you have to identify what their perspective is and meet it.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: So when you apply for a job and don't hear back, that's because that you didn't come through as what they were looking for.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: They did not see you, they only saw what you showed them.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: So that's why I tell people change what you say, change how you say it per job.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_01: Because that same resume will look different to different employers because how they're looking at it.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_01: So you need to look at how they're looking at it, not how you look at it.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: Example number two, maybe your boss doesn't give you a raise even though you've been working hard and you know you deserve it.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_01: So let's talk about your worth.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: Because again, you have your perspective, and your perspective is you're worth something.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_01: You're valuable as an employee.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_01: I would hope so at least.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_01: And if it's not, that's something to work on.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_01: But if you think you are valuable, that's great.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: But it's not about what you think that really matters in this situation.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: What matters is how your boss perceives you, which is why great employees can be horrible fits at companies.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: Because just because they're great doesn't mean that's how their employer sees them.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_01: And so great employees can leave companies because there's not a match.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: Employers cannot value employees because they don't have the skills they're looking for or don't do it in the way they're expecting.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_01: Whereas that same employee can go somewhere else and thrive.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: So don't get so caught up in, well, my boss perceived me this way because that's their perspective.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't mean that's the same perspective everyone has.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_01: But it's important to know how your boss is looking at you and how you can change your perception in their mind.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: Not just say, well, I'm a great employee.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_01: Are you a great employee for your boss?
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: What are they looking for?
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_01: And are you giving them that?
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: One of the key things there is what are their metrics?
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: What are the things that they are evaluating you on?
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: Because you may do some great work, but not meeting their metrics, whatever those metrics are.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_01: And so you're doing great work and failing.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_01: Versus you may be meeting their metrics and feel like you're not doing great work.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_01: But if you're meeting their metrics, then you're succeeding.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: So you need to look at how your boss perceives you.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: Third example.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you gave a presentation and you thought you did awful.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_01: But people say they loved it.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_01: I've been there, okay?
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think I'm the greatest public speaker, but I've given some presentations where I'm like, oh, that was horrible.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_01: That was awful.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_01: I was, you know, flustered.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't give a great talk.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: I stumbled over my words, whatever it is.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_01: But people say, hey, I love that.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_01: That was helpful.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_01: Why?
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: Because it's the perspective.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: You're focused on how did I put my words together?
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_01: How did I present my ideas?
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: What did I look like when I was talking?
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_01: Did I hit the points I wanted to?
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_01: What they're looking at is what was the content I needed, and did that presentation give me that content?
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_01: You focus on your flaws, they focus on the need that you met for them.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: That can mean a totally different perspective on the output compared to what you think it is, which is also why you can have five people in the audience that have five different perspectives on any presentation you give.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: So just because one person feels somehow doesn't mean everyone does.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_01: So what can we learn from the disconnect between how we see ourselves and how others see us?
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_01: Well, number one, you need to seek honest feedback, not just what you want to hear.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_01: And this is hard because what you're asking for is to say the hard thing.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_01: Say the thing that I'm not gonna want to hear.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: Say that wasn't very good.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_01: Say this part needs work.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: Say you're not meeting expectations.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_01: Seeking that honest feedback is really important and hearing it.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_01: That's the other part of it, is when you say, hey, tell me what I should do better.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: What are the things I need to improve on?
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_01: And someone says something, don't discount it.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: I see that a lot where people are saying, yeah, I want feedback.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_01: And so you give them feedback, and they say, Well, yeah, but what you're doing is you're discounting that feedback and you're looking at it from your perspective again.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_01: Instead of saying, hey, let's look at from that other person's perspective, because I don't agree, but I'm not the one receiving, I'm the one giving this.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: Therefore, I need to figure out why it's not being received in the way I expect it to.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_01: Learn from that honest feedback.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_01: Number two, learn what others are looking for, not just what you want to give them.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_01: This is an important lesson for teaching.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_01: So I taught in the classroom for a number of years.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: And it's important to understand your audience and know where they're at and know what they're looking for from you.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_01: Because otherwise, what happens is you feel like you give this great lecture and you say, hey, this, you know, here's all the information you need.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_01: And your students are like, I missed it all.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_01: I it was over my head, I didn't understand it, and it's frustrating.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_01: So when you learn where others are at and what they're looking for, not just what you want to give them, it changes how you do things.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_01: And by changing how you do things, you're meeting them where they're at, as opposed to just feeling like you're doing a great job, but no one agrees with you.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, one of the ways you can see this a lot is when you go to a presentation and everything goes over your head.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: And you're like, I am I the only one?
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_01: Am I the idiot in the room?
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_01: Because it feels like I missed everything.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_01: Uh early on, this is a big deal with things like microservices.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_01: I was working on improving my knowledge around microservices and the techniques and all the rest around them.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: And so I watched presentations, I would go to sessions at conferences, I would listen to people talk about microservices.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember this one presentation where it was an hour-long presentation on YouTube from a conference.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_01: And so I was, you know, I had my notepad there.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, okay, let's let's learn about this.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_01: And this person talked about in the first minute, they talked about five technologies that I didn't know how to use.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_01: And they were just basically assumptions.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, okay, let me just pause the video real quick.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I went and got a you know, a high-level overview of what that each of those things does.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_01: Not so I knew how to use it, but just so I knew what the terminology meant and knew what they were talking about.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I came back and said, okay, I'm good now.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_01: I can at least understand what you're saying.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_01: I hit play again and got four more.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, uh oh.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_01: What I found out was that they were not presenting what I was looking for.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: They were presenting what they wanted to give and maybe presenting what some people were looking for, but I wasn't in that audience.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_01: I wasn't the target audience for that presentation because it was way over my head and it had too many things that I was not familiar with.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_01: So when you learn what others are looking for and how to present to them, not just what you want to present, you bring them along.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_01: You become better at your presentation.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_01: So, number three, evaluate your results, not your intentions.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_01: So when you do something, whether it is helping a coworker out, that's a good example.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_01: Let's get let's start with that for a minute.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_01: So you want to help somebody out.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_01: And you say, okay, I want to help my coworker out.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe they're you know trying to lift a couch, and you say, Ah, I'll jump on the other side and help them.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_01: And you feel like you were helpful and they get frustrated at you.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_01: Well, why?
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_01: Because you're in you are evaluating your intentions, not the results.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_01: Because maybe they were looking to not move that couch too much and they only wanted to move one end.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_01: And all of a sudden you moved everything and caused a whole problem.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_01: That was the result.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_01: That was frustrating to them because the result was not what they were wanting.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_01: But you're saying, but I was helpful because your intentions were to be helpful, but that wasn't the result.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_01: So learn to evaluate the result, not your intentions.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_01: So when you do something at work and you build an app or you build a feature or you fix a bug and you submit it for review and it gets destroyed, and you say, but but I, you know, I was doing a great job.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_01: No, that was your intention, but that wasn't the result.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_01: And that's okay.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_01: Failure happens.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_01: We'll talk about that.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_01: That's actually point number four.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_01: Accept that failure happens and that you fail.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_01: Okay?
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_01: We're all failures in life.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_01: We have to fail.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_01: That's we're born into failure.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_01: We we have to fail in order to learn how to succeed.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_01: So when we are evaluating ourselves, we need to evaluate the results, which may include failure.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_01: And then when that failure does happen, we have to accept that that failure happened, not just kind of push it off.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a I'm a big sports fan.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_01: And one of the things that's that always makes me nervous.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_01: So I watch football, just watch the Eagles win the Super Bowl.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_01: It was awesome.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_01: But part of that is when I watch my team, okay, they're playing 17 games in the regular season.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_01: It's not very many.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_01: And often they win most of them.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_01: But what's terrifies me as a fan is when they win all of them.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_01: Now, if they win all of them in the Super Bowl, that'd be amazing.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_01: But the reality is when they get 8, 10, 12 games into the season and have not lost, I get nervous.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_01: And the reason why is because failure is a much better teacher than success.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_01: And so when they don't have that failure, they have bigger and bigger blind spots, it feels like.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_01: Until at some point they will lose.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_01: But that may be in the wrong place.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's in the first round of the playoffs.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_01: I've had that happen a lot with my college basketball team, where they they've won all their games and they get into the tournament and they lose their first game.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_01: Because they weren't used to failure.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_01: They didn't understand failure.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_01: So for you, I want you to learn to embrace failure, to understand that it happens and not run away from it, not ignore that it happened, not talk about your intentions.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_01: Talk about how do I learn from this and grow from this?
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_01: How do I change?
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_01: That will be important.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_01: So learning to see the world through the eyes of others can be a superpower.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_01: It can help you get a job, it can help you excel at a job, it can help launch you further than you could ever have expected in your career.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_01: The key is to honestly evaluate yourself and if you're meeting the expectations of others.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_01: All right, so thanks for listening.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_01: And as always, I am Tim Corey.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for joining us for this episode of Dev Questions.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: When you're ready to learn to think and code like a professional developer, head over to IamtimCorey.com and enroll in a course.