Latest / Banish the Lies: Outsmart Your Inner Critic / 55: Monday Moment: Maybe You're Not Regressing

Transcript

55: Monday Moment: Maybe You're Not Regressing · Banish the Lies: Outsmart Your Inner Critic

• 0:00
  Happy Monday.
• 0:02
  Today's message goes out to anyone who's having one of those days where you feel like you're taking two steps forward and one step back.
• 0:10
  Or maybe even worse, you feel like you're completely regressing.
• 0:15
  And you're feeling that way in light of all the work you've been doing for so long.
• 0:21
  You've been listening to the podcasts, maybe you've been doing therapy, you've been reading the books, and then something happens and your brain goes,"See?
• 0:30
  There it is.
• 0:31
  Proof that I'm not making any progress at all." I thought about this the other day when I received a beautiful text message from a friend.
• 0:40
  She had listened to one of my podcast episodes, and she took time to share with me what she loved about it and why it impacted her.
• 0:48
  And honestly, it brought tears to my eyes.
• 0:52
  I thanked her sincerely, and I hit send on my reply.
• 0:56
  And then my brain did something interesting.
• 0:59
  It immediately started looking for reasons to discount the compliment.
• 1:04
  Thoughts like,"Well, she only feels that way because she listened to the final edited version.
• 1:10
  She didn't hear the filler words I cut out.
• 1:12
  She didn't hear the parts where I repeated myself.
• 1:15
  And besides, she was talking about an interview episode, and it was really my guest, Carmen, who did most of the heavy lifting." And in that moment, hearing that voice, another thought showed up.
• 1:28
  You see, I haven't changed.
• 1:30
  I still do this.
• 1:33
  But then I realized something.
• 1:35
  Our brains are remarkably good at finding evidence that we're still stuck in an old identity.
• 1:42
  But that's not the full story.
• 1:45
  There is good news as well.
• 1:47
  I realized that the fact that I even notice those thoughts is evidence that I have actually changed.
• 1:55
  There was a time I would have not even noticed that.
• 1:58
  In fact, there was a time I probably would have written some of those explanations right back into my reply instead of just simply saying thank you.
• 2:07
  That's progress.
• 2:10
  So if you find yourself getting triggered today, if you lose your patience, if anxiety shows up, if you notice yourself slipping into an old pattern, before you tell yourself that you're back at square one or that you're not making any progress, I invite you to pause and to ask yourself, would I even have noticed this a year or two ago?
• 2:36
  Because if the answer is no, maybe that's your evidence that yes, you are growing.
• 2:42
  And one more thing.
• 2:44
  When we respond to those moments with more self-criticism, we just create another reason to believe we're failing.
• 2:52
  But when we bring compassion instead, we can stay curious.
• 2:57
  We stop asking things like, what's wrong with me that I'm still doing this?
• 3:01
  And start asking, hmm, what am I noticing that I couldn't see before?
• 3:07
  Because that, my friend, is the light of awareness.
• 3:10
  And all things grow in the light.
• 3:13
  Unless, of course, you're a mushroom.
• 3:15
  But I'm pretty sure there aren't any mushrooms listening today, so we don't have to worry about that.
• 3:21
  So bring a little light, a little compassion, and a little patience to yourself today.
• 3:28
  You might be making more progress than you realize.
• 3:31
  Have a great one.