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176 How Do You Avoid Feeling Overwhelmed? What If You Are In Over Your Head? · DevQuestions with Tim Corey

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Dev Questions Podcast with Tim Corey.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: Join us each episode as we tackle the questions you are asking about a career in software development, understanding the industry, and new technology.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_01: If you're just starting out or you want to grow stronger as a developer, this is the place to get your questions answered.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_01: Now, here's your host, expert developer and online educator, Tim Corey.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: How do you avoid feeling overwhelmed?
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: What if you're in over your head?
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Now these are broad questions, but questions I think that are really important to answer in today's episode of DevQuestions.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: Now this comes from a suggestion site, and it's one that I thought would be really important to address in this episode.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: If you have a question you want to get answered, go to suggestions.imtimcorey.com and look to see if it's already been asked A4 and upvote it.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: But if not, then ask your question.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: And hopefully you'll see your question answered in a future episode of DevQuestions.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so how do you avoid feeling like you're overwhelmed?
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: Or how do you feel like you're avoiding feeling like you're overhead?
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: So number one thing that I need to know is you're not alone.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: And then with that, number two, you can get through this.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: This is a very common experience.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's something that everyone goes through, or almost everyone goes through, and it's something that you can definitely get through.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: Now, when I was 19, I had experience, but not a whole lot of experience.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so I was I had been doing software development a little bit, but not a lot.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: When my boss hired me, he's like, hey, you want a full-time job?
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, sweet, yes, I do.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: And it was my job to be a software development consultant.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: I would come in and help businesses shape how their software got built, what they should do, and so on.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: I often felt overwhelmed and way over my head because I was.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: And in my case, I ended up struggling through it for years.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: For years, I had to figure out how to get through this, and I found some ways that did not help the situation.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um, one, avoid the problem.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: That's not a way to solve the problem.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, people do this in different ways.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: For me, it was I'm gonna go home and play video games.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to think about what I had to go through at work or what I have to go through at work tomorrow.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: The problem never goes away.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: The problem never goes away.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, you can make it worse if you're not careful doing that.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: For others, it's drinking or drugs or partying or whatever it is, the problem doesn't go away.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: And if you go too hard towards the avoidance, you end up making the problem worse because you're less capable at work to deal with a situation.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: Number two, I found that pretending I was confident, the fake it until you make it, wasn't really helpful either because you got found out.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so I've had a number of people that were like, oh wait, you don't know what you're talking about.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: You say you do, or you project that you know, but you really don't.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: And that makes the problem worse.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: And it also shakes their confidence in everything you do.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: So I found that that didn't really work well either.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: Another one is blaming others.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: Trying to always point the finger at someone else, put somebody else under the bus in order to avoid the bus yourself or to make yourself look better also does not work in the long run.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: So over the years, I have found there are some things that do work though, some things that can help you not feel overwhelmed, things that will help you kind of take control of your situation and feel like you're more in control.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: Now, you can never control external things.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: There are things that are outside your power, and we'll talk with those in a little bit.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: But there are things that you can do to control what you can control.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: So, number one, make a list of all the things you need to do.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: Oftentimes when you feel overwhelmed, you feel out of control, there's just so many things going on at once, you have so many different pressures, and there's just a list of things you have to do and no time to do it in.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: So identify the things you need to do.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: Write them down a list.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: That list may be huge.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: Don't avoid it.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: Don't say, oh, I'm not gonna put that in a list because that's just too silly.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: No, put it on the list.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's important that you do, that you not avoid the problem.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: Now, there may be steps you need to take before you can accomplish a task.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: For instance, maybe your boss says, Hey, I want you to, you know, redo the entire SQL server by Monday.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: And you have no clue, you've never touched SQL.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so not only do you have that initial task to do, but before you can do that, you have to figure out what is the SQL thing and how to figure it out.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: That's a lot.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: But you have to be honest and say, these are the things I need to do.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: I need to know how to do SQL, so I have to learn that first.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: And that's a lot, but I can't avoid it and say, just do the SQL thing.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: I have to also put in there, learn this.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: So this may be overwhelming.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: Don't hide from that reality.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: Now, number two, put those things in a priority and time list.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: So you say, this is absolutely most important.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: This thing needs to be done by a certain date.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: This thing is number one in a boss's list, and so on.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: You figure out where everything goes, list it from top to bottom.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: The most important, the most time sensitive.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: How are you figuring out what the number one, number two, number three things are?
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: But figure it out from top to bottom.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: And then number three, identify any conflicts and communicate them early.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: So I've had situations before where I had to be in two places at once.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: Now, you could try and placate both, you know, both parties and say, hey, you know, I'll try to be there.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: It might be a little bit late, but I'll try to be there.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: And you try to go from one to the other and you're late for one and early to the other and have to leave early from the other one.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: Don't do that.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: Identify any conflicts and communicate them early.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: Say, listen, I can't be in two places at once.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: And this one is going to cause any problems with this one.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: So either I prioritize one and don't do the other one, or we make some adjustments in order to make both of these things work.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: And that's important to start communicating.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: Communication is going to be really important for you when it comes to getting out from underneath this overwhelming feeling.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever the cause of your overwhelming may be, you need to be able to communicate clearly, not just, oh my goodness, I'm overwhelmed, but to communicate, here's why I'm overwhelmed, here's the things I have to do that I just can't accomplish.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: And have those communications early and often.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: So communicate any conflicts right away.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: Number four, you start working the list from the top.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, that may that sounds obvious, but it's important to start from the most important thing, right?
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: The most is do the fastest or whatever.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: But here's a bit of a tip for number four.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: Don't worry overly much about the time estimates.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: So some people get so caught up in estimating the time, estimating their scheduling, figuring things out.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: They spend so much time doing that, they forget to do the actual work.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: Or they spend so much time doing that that they have to spend more time rearranging when things don't go right.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: Just get the job done.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: And start from that top and move down.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: And number five, super hard to do until you get used to it.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: There'll come a time when you get used to doing this, because it's going to happen over and over until you figure it out.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: Number five, consciously forget about all other tasks until it's time to work on them.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: This is one of the hardest things to do, but it's one of the things that really drains your ability to get anything done.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: When you have a thousand things you have to do, and you're just bombarded with new things all the time, and everything looks overwhelming.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: You feel like you're underwater, you feel like you don't know enough to get the job current job done, and more is being added to your inbox of things to do.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: Getting locked up, getting so you're where you're like always looking at the next thing instead of trying to figure out fix one thing or do that.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: Stop.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: Focus on one thing.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: Get it done.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: And everything else, it's on a list somewhere.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: You already have it written down.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: You know that you have to do it, but that list holds that information.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to hold that in your brain.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: Forget about it.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: Forget about thinking about it, forget about thinking through different things or trying to do five things at once.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: That's not effective.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: Multitasking here is not going to help you.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: What's going to help you is get one thing done at a time.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: Consciously forget about all our tasks until it's time to work on them.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: They'll make you the most efficient at the most important task, then you can move on to the next one and on down the list.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: Now, there is going to be something you want to do to tweak your list a little bit.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: This is going to help you as a person.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it doesn't feel like it's going to, but trust me, it's going to.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: In your list every day, put at least one or two small tasks so you can have something that you say you've accomplished.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: One of the things I do is I have certain tasks like clean my desk.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: Because my desk, whenever it's got stuff piled all over it, which happens when I'm in a hurry, it drives me nuts.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: And that's not a really important task.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's not something that accomplishes the business goals usually.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: But I'll put that on some days and just say, you know, I've got five minutes here before a meeting.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to clean my desk.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the other thing, too, is you can use those little spots right before a meeting, maybe right before lunch, where you're waiting on a task or something else.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: Take those five minutes and do something that might not be as high priority, but allows you to accomplish something and feel good about it.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, that's going to help.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: So those are the six things.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if something doesn't fit in the system, you need to actively work on not worrying about it.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: Because you can't affect it.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: For example, if your company might lay off workers in your department, well, you can't change that reality.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's not like you can worry about it and somehow fix it because of your worry.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: If it's going to drag down your efficiency, well, that's not helping you get your job done, which makes you look worse, which makes it more likely potentially for you to be laid off, maybe.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: So don't do that.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, try to focus on what you can do and then not worry about what you can't do.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: So if your company is looking at layoffs, you're thinking you might be the on the chopping block, you're thinking your job might be in danger, you can't affect what your bosses do or your boss's boss's bosses do.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: What you can do is add tasks to your personal list, like update your resume, improve your portfolio, and improve your relevant skills.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: That way you can do something about it.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: You can have some say in what happens, because even if they let you go, which you can't control, what you can control is your preparation for it.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: So there's things you can do and there's things you can't do.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: Try not to focus on the things you can't do because that's going to just detract from what you can do.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: Now, let's look at some scenarios to kind of bring this home.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so scenario number one is you have too much work to do and not enough time.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: So organize that list.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: Run it past your boss.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: This is a this is a little trick here.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: Run it past your boss to make sure you're prioritizing properly.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: Because bosses tend to do things like say, this is number one priority.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: And then the next meeting they say, well, this is number one priority.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: And then an email comes in from your boss and it's this is number one priority.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: Not everything can be number one.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: And there has to be a priority of what you work on.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: You can't work on three things at once.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: So what you do is you put it in a list and say, okay, boss, I think based upon what you've said, this feels about right for what your priorities are.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: But can you let me know if this is correct?
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: Because then your boss might say, no, no, no, I want number three as number one, and number two is number three, number one is number two, or whatever they do, let them rearrange how they want, because then they've had a say in your priority list, and then they know what you're working on in what order.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: Then work the list.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if your boss gets upset at your progress, ask them if the list is out of order.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: Because then they're like, well, no, it's not out of order, you're just not getting done fast enough.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: Well, that's something outside your control.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: Say I am working the best I can.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: You can show how you're working and when you're working on this, to say, this is what I'm doing.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: Or if they say, no, you know what, this is out of order, well, they've already given you the order for the list.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: Now it's kind of on them a little bit, and maybe they don't get quite so upset.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: So if and if it looks like your boss won't be happy with their progress no matter what, start your job search.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes you can't please your boss.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: And you can't affect things outside your control.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes outside your control to be able to please your boss.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: Now, do what you can inside your control.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: But if you can't affect it, then you on your personal list put resume, portfolio, more relevant skills, and so on.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: So that's one area if you're overwhelmed with the number of tasks you have to do.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: But then there's the other side of it too.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: Scenario number two is you feel like you're in over your head at work.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: You don't understand enough, and maybe you feel like you're constantly behind.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: So this is not necessarily I have so much to do.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's more I have enough to do and no clue how to do it.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: So, number one, identify the areas where you're struggling.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: Is it the language?
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: Is it the what the application does?
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: Do you not understand the application itself, etc.?
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: And then prioritize your list of weak areas.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: So these are the areas that I'm weakest in, and these are the ones that seem the most relevant, the ones that are hurting me the most.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you don't understand how your custom application, your business built, how it works.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: And so trying to debug it is really hard because you don't even know why it does what it does.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: So that might be a higher priority on your list of things you don't understand.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: Now, talk to your coworkers or your boss and develop a plan to get better at each area.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: Again, communication, letting people know hey, I see in myself some weak areas, and these are X, Y, and Z.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to work on a plan to get better in each area.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: Now, with that, start documenting everything you learn.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: That way, you don't have to keep coming back to it over and over again.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: You can make progress moving forward.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: And then work that list when you have downtime.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: So it might not be that you're working the list all day long because you have to get some jobs done.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you can do some things, you just can't do as much as you think you should.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe once a day you work on a ticket or something that that's a little bit more difficult, a little bit outside of your knowledge zone, where you have a coworker help you know with pair programming or help you understand what's going on so you can better understand how to make this work.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: And so you keep working that list.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: And you again can communicate at your boss saying, hey, this is my list, this is what I'm working on, and this is the progress I've made on these.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: So that's how you can start to get out of feeling overwhelmed because everyone's going to feel be overwhelmed at some point in their life.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's almost inevitable.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: And you know what?
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: That doesn't happen just me at the beginning of career, that happens throughout your career.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_00: This idea called imposter syndrome, where when you're a new developer, you feel like I'm an imposter.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: And then you figure out that that doesn't really go away, it doesn't matter how long you've been in the field, you still feel like an imposter.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: Because there's always more to learn.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: There's always more that you don't understand than you understand.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_00: There's always new stuff coming out.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: There's always things that are just foreign to you that you have to figure out in your job.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: So knowing how to work through this, knowing how to work through feeling overwhelmed or feeling like you're underwater and you know, drowning in your job, by taking these steps, step by step, to get out of it.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: Take control of what you can control, let go of what you can't control, and work on understanding that difference to understand what are the things I can control versus what are the things I can't control, and try to make as good a progress as you can do is the best way to move forward and move out of that feeling of overwhelmed.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_00: So that's that's the process that I go through.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_00: That's a process that I work through with other people to make sure that they don't get stuck where they are.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: So focus on the things you can control and move out of that feeling of being overwhelmed or underwater.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for listening.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_00: And as always, I am Tim Corey.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for joining us for this episode of Dev Questions.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_02: Tim is committed to making it easier for you to become a developer.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_02: If you would like to help make more content like this possible, please like, subscribe, rate, and share Dev Questions.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_02: You can also send your questions to questions at IamTimcorey.com.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_02: Until next time, remember, you are too smart and your time too valuable to waste it making all the mistakes Tim did.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_02: When you're ready to learn to think and code like a professional developer, head over to Iamtimcorey.com and enroll in a course.