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How Do I Want to Show Up? with AVP Beach Volleyball Player Kelly Cheng · Mind Over Mountain

• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Hi, everyone, Welcome to mind Over Mountain with me Cheryl Strade.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: This week, my guest is beach volleyball champion Kelly Chang.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: Kelly is a two time Olympian. She played in Tokyo
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: in twenty twenty and Paris in twenty twenty four, and
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: she also won the World Championships with Sarah Hughes in
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: twenty twenty three. I talked to Kelly about her hope
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: for the twenty twenty eight Olympics in Los Angeles, about
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: what it's like to develop sand legs, and also about
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: showing up for yourself. Let's listen to our conversation. Kelly Chang,
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: Welcome to mind Over Mountain.
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: Thank you for having me. I'm so excited to be here. Well,
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: I'm excited to have you here too.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: I've been following you on Instagram and you and your
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: teammate Meghan Kraft and ripping it up this summer on
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: the beach Pro tour.
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: I see you so fun.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: It's looks like it you got silver and Gustad am
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: I saying that right, Gastad sad stod Oh No, no, okay,
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: there there we go.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: Thank you for that lesson. Correct. No, it's tough.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: It's tough, it is and bronze in Rio, which is
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: a big deal.
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: Congratulations on doing so well.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: And Megan's a pretty new teammate for you, So how
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: has that been.
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: It's yeah, it's been amazing.
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Meg is she's twenty three, so young Buck and
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: then yeah, we started together in January, so it's been
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: it's been super fun, just trying to build you know,
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: the chemistry of a new team and Beach is super unique.
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: You know, two people, so it very much feels like
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: a marriage. So we took like a little like honeymoon
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: team or treat at the beginning of the year. We
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: went to Hawaii, which was such a burden to.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: Go out to Hawaii, and I know, it's such a
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: hard life.
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I get to know each other and our coach
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: planned like a bunch of team building activities and we
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: kind of talked about, you know, our identity as you
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: know each other, ourselves, sharing that with each other and
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: then diving into like what our team identity is. So
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: it was super fun. And yeah, we've we've had some success.
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: Excited to keep going in you know, trending in that direction.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: And yeah, one not the way to the la yes,
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: in La twenty twenty eight Olympics. You know, I want
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: to back up because when I was thinking about this
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: opportunity to talk to you, that that has always been
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: the most fascinating thing to me about, you know, watching
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: beach volleyball. It is such bost a physical choreography between
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: two people, but also I imagine an emotional one, and
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: it is I love that right off the bat, you're
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: using that metaphor of like a marriage.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: How is it you?
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's like it's really intense, like if things
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: go right, it's just the two of you. If things
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: go wrong, it's just the two of you, and you
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: really have to probably know each other and trust each other.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: How do you build that over time?
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: I mean, how is it that you I know, you've
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: had you know, several partners over the years, well three
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: others that I think, and probably beyond that.
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: But but how is it.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: That you figure out like if you're a good match
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: with somebody.
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, great question.
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: Like I said before, it is very much a marriage,
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: So there's a lot of getting to know each other
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: and kind of figuring out. I mean, it's it's on
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: the court and off the court, like when we when
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: we travel. A normal tournament for me goes from, you know,
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: we arrive at a new country, a new location on
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: Sunday or Monday, and we're there till the following Monday,
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: and we're training, you know, leading up to our event,
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: and then we play Wednesday through Sunday, one to sometimes
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: two matches a day in the in the span of
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: a week, and it's it's just a lot of downtime
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: together too. So we obviously need to be on the
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: same page with on the court stuff, with how to
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: communicate with each other, how to bring out the best
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: in each other, how to you know, individually, how do
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: I handle stress and anxiety and pressure and vice versa,
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: and how do how do we help each other navigate
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: those those situations because there's times where maybe I'm really
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: feeling the pressure and I need something from Meg or
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: vice versa. So us being able to step up for
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: ourselves and step up for each other is something you
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: kind of have to figure out how to do with
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: a with a with a partner, in the same way
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: I had to figure those things out with my husband,
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: you know, right. And then yeah, off the court, there's
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: so many hours in a day and we're on the
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: road so much together, so also figuring out eating schedules
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: and like how much alone time do you want?
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: How much hanging out time do you want?
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: Like its just we do everything together, so it forces
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: you to have a lot of conversations.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: And yeah, it's done so much fun with Meg.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: And is it I mean for you buy and large
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: over the years, over the course of your career. Has
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: that equal a deep friendship or is it really like colleagues,
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: Like you work together and you find a rhythm and
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: do well together and it's strictly or it's like mostly
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: professional or has it always been that you actually have
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: also a real deep emotional bond and friendship with the
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: people who are your teammates.
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah, for me, I like crave that deep emotional connection.
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: But everybody's different, you know.
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: And there's been so many successful beach volleyball partnerships that
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: are very business oriented and we show up to work,
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: you know, practice, we show up to tournaments, matches, and
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: you know, it's work, and then when you're off you
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: kind of do your own thing. But it's been so
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: much fun with Meg kind of doing everything together and
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: getting to know her more and more and enjoy the
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: off the court time just as much as the on
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: the court time. So I really love and have been
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: wanting like that deep personal connection and I think that
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: can all happened through just.
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: The ability to be vulnerable.
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: And I think Meg does that really really well, and
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: it's been super fulfilling for me to have that connection
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: with her.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and of course the two of you aren't just
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: hanging out being friends.
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: Talking about vulnerable. Thanks.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: You're also you know, you have this mission. You're already
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: a two time Olympian. Of course, your first appearance was
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: in Tokyo in twenty twenty, which I'm going to guess
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: was a kind of weird Olympics, the COVID the COVID Olympics.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: And then in Paris twenty twenty four, you and your
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: partner Sarah went in. It was Sarah Hughes right, went
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: in as the reigning World Championships. You'd won the championship
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: together in twenty twenty three in Paris, and so.
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: You know LA is going to be for you.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: You're you're an old hand Olympian, You're experienced.
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: But lots of wisdom. I got lots of wisdom.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: What has that taught you? I mean, how are you doing?
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: What are you doing differently? Are you doing anything differently
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: as you prepare to join Team USA in Los Angeles?
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's it's so different.
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: I feel like each one has been very very unique, obviously,
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: Like you just said, Tokyo COVID Olympics, it was really
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: it was really crazy walking into that enormous stadium and
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: no fans being there, and I'm I don't know how
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: much you've been able to see me compete, but I
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: play with a lot of passion and joy and ferocity
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: and I'm yelling a lot, and I think.
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: You can see see how much I love this game. Yeah.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: Only all the pictures of you that I see, your
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: face is always like you're always making some wild and
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: I'm all in, yeah, there's no like you're not like
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: holding it close to the vest I love that about you.
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: Really fun a lot, thank you. Yeah. So yeah.
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: In Tokyo, just again like screaming after a point and
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: it just like echoes through the stadium. It was crazy
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: and not what I thought my first Olympic experience would be.
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: It was really tough, but so proud and so thankful
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: that I had that experience and get to represent my country.
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: So obviously, Paris, Like Paris kind of felt like my
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: first again because it was just so different, Like we
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: actually had like opening ceremonies and got to interact with
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: everybody in the village, and my family was able to
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: come and like just full pack stadium Snoop Dogg came
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: to a few of our matches. Like it was just like,
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: there's so much going on, this is crazy.
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: So it was funny the dream came true.
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, But it was my second, but so in
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: so many ways filmed like my first. So yeah, I
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: think going into too, hopefully my third Olympics, there's obviously
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: the same hype and pressure and expectations, you know, But
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: I think I'm just I'm older, like you said, wiser,
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: and I think I'm just able to handle and navigate
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: all of those emotions so much better than I was
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: when I think I was twenty four or twenty five,
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: maybe twenty four, you know, for my first.
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: So excited to share that experience with Meg.
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: What do you think the older and wiser like, what
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: part of older and wiser.
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: Feels different?
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: Like as you ponder La, like, do you feel like
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: more disciplined and committed and focused or do you feel
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: more relaxed and authoritative and confident or what are the
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: emotions the words you used to describe your difference.
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think just the emotional capacity that I have
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: now is so much different than you know, my first
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: Olympic run, and just the ability to na mentally like
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: navigate the pressure and stress and emotions that come with
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: an Olympics and just high pressure moments in general.
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: I feel like I'm able.
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: I have the tools now to handle them versus before
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: it was so often it was okay, fake it till
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: you make it, you know, which I think can get you,
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: can get you far in life. But having having actual
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: tools to handle, you know, big emotions and be able
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: to be present.
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: And be able to.
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: Show up as your best self, I think is something
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: that I've learned how to do. And you know, each
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: time I step on the court, I'm finding to be
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: like a little bit better in that area, and I
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: just think I see me building on that and building
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: on that. So excited when the actual pressure of the Olympics,
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: because it is so different than any.
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: Other pressure I've ever felt to my entire life, and that.
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: You can't recreate it, and yeah, it's it's crazy when
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: it hits you, but I feel so prepared to handle
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: that this time around.
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I'm going to imagine. But I'd like
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: you to tell me.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: You know that that pressure with the Olympics is you know,
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: it is this big deal. It's that you have this
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: global audience. And I think of beach volleyball as one
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: of those things. I know, I usually just watch it
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: every four years, right, I've become like obsessed with watching
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: it and then wait for another four years to watch
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: it again. And so you really have this ad this
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: huge audience that maybe you have an audience all the time,
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: but this is on a whole different level. Is that
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: the pressure and you are representing your country. I think
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: that there's this kind of gravity to that that must
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: be events.
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: No, I think you're you're so sopought on. Like the
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: amount of people watching our sport is obviously huge, Like
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: you just said, a lot of people don't watch on
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: our off years, which we would love.
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: We had so much fun.
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: We were just in Long Beach where the Olympics will
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: be a few weeks ago for the a VP and
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: it was such a train and so many people came
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: out and I had so many people watched you in
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: the Olympics.
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm so glad that.
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: You're out watching now because we we do this year
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: round and we love it and it's yeah, it's so
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: so special. So it's been fun seeing more and more
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: people get excited about beach volle at all, not during
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: our Olympic right other times.
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: Yes, exactly.
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: I imagine though that scrutiny can also, you know, have its
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: dark side. I'm curious about how that has been for
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: you to be, you know, one of the best players
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: in the world and to be in the spotlight and
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: have a lot of eyes on you. Have you felt
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: mostly love and support or have you felt sometimes scrutinized
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: and criticized.
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, both one hundred percent throughout my entire career.
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: Obviously.
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: I mean I I've talked with a lot of athletes,
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: and I think a lot of people, especially with the
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: rise of social media, have experienced this.
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: But with betting being more and more prevalent in sports, I'll.
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: Get you know, death ruts on you know Instagram or
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: you know, I hope you're yea plane crash it, I
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: hope your parents die, Like it's it's Wildeople will say, yeah,
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: it's wild.
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: Because I will say I didn't even think of that.
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: I think that's a huge factor.
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: But yeah, I really try to not be on social
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: media as much and just like kind of stay focused
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: on what I want to do. I feel like God
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: created me to do this and I love doing this,
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: and uh yeah, I think people just behind a keyboard
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: will say whatever they want to say.
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: But I think I'm also to go back to like
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: just the mental capacity.
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: I think that was something that really affected me when
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: I was younger, and like.
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: When we're thinking of you and exactly exactly yes, yes,
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: but now not so much.
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: I think I have my tight knit circle and I'm
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: able to kind of quiet the noise of outside people.
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: But yeah, it's always, it's always there.
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: I think that's with anyone doing trying to do anything
• 14:03
  Speaker 3: special or great. I see it all the time with
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: w n b A, and I mean there's every sport,
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: there's there's criticism everywhere, and I think you just gotta
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: kind of nose to the grindstone, like believe in what
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: you're doing and you know, pursue it with your whole heart.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: How have you used this experience, I understand you mentor
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: younger players like has this in some ways been a
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: big point of conversation, like how to protect yourself from
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: that kind of harm.
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: And when it comes to mental mental health, Yeah.
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that's a that's a something that I
• 14:48
  Speaker 3: talk about with my high schoolers from from time to time.
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: I don't think they they don't ask a lot about
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: that because I don't think they're there yet. We I
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: more dive in the mental side of like how to
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: handle pressure and anxiety and adversity and like how to
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: still show up even when all of those emotions feel
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: so much bigger. And it also like it's kind of
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: in your own head, like whatever perspective you have in
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: that moment is kind of like how you're going to
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: show up, you know. So I think that's more conversation
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: pieces that I have with with my high schoolers. But yeah,
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: my my husband and I, uh, the last four januaries,
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: I've run a beach volleyball mentorship camp with some high
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: schoolers and it's been so special and so fulfilling and
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: so rewarding, and it's been really cool to see other
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: pros kind of join in with me and take on
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: some mentees and uh, yeah, it's been it's been super
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: super special and now a few of them were in
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: college and we're getting all the mentors, are getting to
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: watch them play and.
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: Watching them grow. Now you and so cool. Why did
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: you decide to do that?
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: You yourself were high school player and did that Did
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: that impulse rise out of your own struggles as a
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: young player.
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I think this actually started more when
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: my husband and I got married and we really sat
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: down and we wanted to really figure out what can
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: we do with this platform that we have, and how
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: can we really get your husband Jordan Chang Jordan Chang.
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: Yes, and my coach and my husband, we do everything together.
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: You do anything together. I didn't the mentorship program. He's
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: your coach. I mean, that's the whole thing. I want.
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: We're going to like talk about that in a moment.
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: I want to talk about the men perfectly.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: Yes, Yes, there's a lot of activity between the two of.
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: You, a lot. Yes. Yes, it feels we've been married
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: for four years.
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: It feels like we've been married for like fifteen, just
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: because we do, like I just said, we do everything together.
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: But yeah, we we sat down.
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: And trying to figure out what we want to do
• 16:57
  Speaker 3: with our platform, and we both love the sport obviously,
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: and this camp is something that.
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: I wish I had when I was in high school.
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: And just didn't really know, didn't really know like what
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: this sport meant like to actually be a professional in
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: this sport, Like what did it look like?
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: And how to navigate it?
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: And gosh, how how different my life would be if
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: a carry or a misty kind of took me under
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: her wing while I was in high school and just
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: shared experiences and was accessible to me and I could
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: ask any questions. So kind of that, out of my
• 17:35
  Speaker 3: husband and I having a lot of conversations, our mentorship
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: came to be and it's been so fulfilling and yeah,
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: like I was saying, like my a few of my
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: girls are now in college and you know, playing getting
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: to start, and it's just it's been so special to
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: see them grow and being able to support them pursuing
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: what they want to pursue, and just always just being
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: there like I'm your big sister, I'm sharing you on
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: and if you need.
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: Anything, like I'm here.
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: So yeah, I'm excited to see, yeah where it can go.
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: You know, I think that this is a thread that
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: has run through so many of my guests, because of course,
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: a lot of elite athletes like you, you know, it
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: begins when you're essentially a child, and then you start
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: to get really good, you know, when you're in the
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: you know, the the turmoil of adolescence, which is like
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: always a difficult time, right You're growing up. You're trying
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: to figure out who you are, and that's happening when
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: you are an elite athlete. At the same time that,
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: like the stakes are getting higher and higher. You're being
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: asked to sacrifice a lot for your sport and make
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: some really big decisions and very often step out onto
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: you know, a global stage. That's that's hard stuff, hard
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: stuff so amazing that you're offering that.
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, it's been Yeah, like I said, super super fulfilling,
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: and yeah, it's just what is it giving you passionate about?
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: I think good, good perspective, you know, like being able
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: to have these conversations and almost like see bits and
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: pieces of myself and them when when I was in
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: high school, and I think it's allowed me to like
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: give myself more grace with where I'm at now and
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: fight to not have such like perfectionist standards for myself
• 19:31
  Speaker 3: that are unrealistic to hit.
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just it's been. It's just been a win
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: win all around.
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: The conversations that I have with these girls, I just
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: feel like, make me.
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: Better and I can see it making them better too.
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: So it does like in a way feels a little
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: selfish because I'm like, I'm getting better out of this,
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: and I'm yeah, no, like you're getting better out of this.
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: So it's been. It's been cool. It's a real thing.
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: I find that whenever I'm like giving advice or trying
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: to be you know, I have two kids, like trying
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: to be a role model, like it giving the advice
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: to them is actually, in some way a form of
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: reminding myself of like the wisest.
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: Things I know percent yes, yes, And I'm like, oh gosh,
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: that's like I said that, that's great advice, Like I
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: should take it.
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: Yes, exactly.
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: So you're you're telling yourself these these powerful lessons about
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: how to manage stress and anxiety as you prepare for
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: let's just we're just going to say these La Olympics
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: that you're going to be in in a couple of years,
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: how is it that you're physically preparing? How are you
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: how are you and Meg, you know, is there like
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: how are you going about meeting this goal together?
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Physically, it's I don't think it's anything like crazy
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: different than I've done in any other quad. I really
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: trust my my trainer and my coaches on building our program,
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: and you know, our training schedule out, so that's like
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: that's a piece I don't have to mentally think about that.
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: I can be just all in on my training sessions
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: and whatever else is going on. So I'm very thankful
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: for the team that we've created around us to they
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: kind of drive the ship in a lot of areas
• 21:12
  Speaker 3: so that Megan I can be just fully present with
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: whatever's you know, right in front of us on our plate,
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: you know. But yeah, we train in the sand pretty
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: much every day. We're in the gym pretty much every day.
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: We're doing physical therapy, we watch film together, we have
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: lots of team meetings. It's just like it's a full
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: time job what we do, and it's so fun, it's
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: so rewarding. It's not I don't think it's as glamorous
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: as everybody like thinks it is, just because we travel
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: to beaches around the world, which is amazing.
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: But like, yeah, there's not.
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: That much money in beach volleyball, so we're flying coach
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: all the time. Like I was in a middle seat
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: both of my flights coming home from Brazil, and I'm
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: still a little jet lagged, but I'm I'm just like
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: so happy getting to pursue something so special and some
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: being really hard and challenging. And I think out of
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: those hard and challenging things that you go through in life,
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: it just makes you a better person if you take
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: advantage of those opportunities.
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: So I'm just I've seen I journal a lot, and
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: it's just been.
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: Cool over the years to like look back at old
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: journals and like, gosh, this is what I thought about myself,
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: you know five years ago. I'm like, wow, I'm in
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: such a better and different headspace now than I was there.
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: And I think it's because of you know, the stress
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: and the struggles and the hardships that life throw at you.
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: It's like, Okay, if I take advantage of these opportunities,
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: I'm going to grow so much as a person. So
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: just trying to have that perspective, and I think it's
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: allowed me to grow so much, and you know, on
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: and off the court.
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: I love that you've revealed that the dark secrets of
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: beach volleyball traveling where you get the center seat coach.
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, on an international flight.
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: So I feel like I get to ask you the
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: other like you know this the other insider questions A
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: couple of questions.
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: I have you mentioned sand?
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: I'm always like when I'm watching whenever I watch beach volleyball,
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: I'm like, there's just so much damn sand everywhere, Like
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: you're falling in the sand and you're kicking out with sand.
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: It's still in my ears. Probably I've showered someone.
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like how do you do every sand? And also
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: isn't that awfully? Is it hard on your body? Like
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: that aspect of it? I mean in every way. You know,
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: it's harder to walk on the sand than it is,
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: you know, on grass or pavement, and you know, like
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: it's harder to do everything, and there has this abrasive quality.
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: What's it like having such an intimate relationship with sand
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: in your sport?
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, I love it, and I'm very thankful that
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: I love it.
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: I don't think I could be doing this if I
• 23:42
  Speaker 3: didn't intimately love the sand, because it, like you said,
• 23:45
  Speaker 3: it gets everywhere, like I try to shower, you know,
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: as best as I can. I scrub and scrub, and
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: they're still like, oh a little bit behind or in
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: the ear or somewhere, like I missed in my belly button.
• 23:58
  Speaker 3: Like it's it's just everywhere. And I love my favorite
• 24:03
  Speaker 3: like little keepsake. When I go to a tournament and
• 24:07
  Speaker 3: like a new location, I'll bring like a little bit
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: of sand.
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: Home, and my mom gets these little glass bottles.
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: So I've got like sand and little glass bottles all
• 24:15
  Speaker 3: over my apartment and on the bottom it says like
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: where it was from.
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: So that's that. I again, I intimately love the sand.
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: But actually, like if we're comparing indoor volleyball and beach volleyball,
• 24:29
  Speaker 3: because of the sand, I think people are able to
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: play beach volleyball on much longer because of the impact,
• 24:36
  Speaker 3: Like landing on sand is so much easier than landing
• 24:39
  Speaker 3: on hardwood. Like I think I tried to play some
• 24:43
  Speaker 3: indoor with some friends. It was last year or the
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: year before, and I had blood blisters all over my
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: feet just because I think my feet are not used
• 24:50
  Speaker 3: to landing on hardwood for you know, two hours. Yeah,
• 24:54
  Speaker 3: So so in a way, it is, yes, it's harder
• 24:57
  Speaker 3: to move around in it, but it.
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: Is easier or on my body.
• 25:01
  Speaker 3: And I think because of that, I'm going to be
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: able to have a very long career playing this four,
• 25:06
  Speaker 3: which I'm very thankful for. I think I think, like
• 25:09
  Speaker 3: anything in life, your body adapts to it.
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: So we call it sand legs.
• 25:14
  Speaker 3: So I kind of lose my sand legs every off
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: season because I'm off the sand for just depending on
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: when the next season starts, like a month or two months,
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: or sometimes it's a little bit shorter. But coming back
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: after you know, a break, I lose my sand legs
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: and it takes me like a week or two to
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: like find them again, and then i'm and then it
• 25:34
  Speaker 3: feels like I'm walking on hardwood or you know, you
• 25:37
  Speaker 3: just meant like flat land, you know.
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess that's the question I had because it
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: is interesting there Is it about a balance? Is it
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: about using different muscles that you don't normally use?
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: I think you just learn. I think you just learn
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: to love it and live in it.
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: In the same way like I could never imagine swimming
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: as much as water polo or any you know, swimming
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: athlete swim I feel like I would drown, But like
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: in the same way, I think if I trained at
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: the hours that I do in the sand, I think
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: I would learn, you know, So I just think it's
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: something that you kind of figure out, You figure out
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: how to walk on it, versus like I'm watching people
• 26:15
  Speaker 3: walk down the beach.
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: And like falling over in the sand.
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: I'm like, I just I just know how to move
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: in it, Like it's my I'm better on the sand
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: than on hard land.
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: It's absolutely it's your place, it's your home and you're there.
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: Of course we did mention your husband Jordan earlier.
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: He is your coach.
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: How did that decision come about? Like why did the
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: two of you decide to work together in that capacity?
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: I can imagine there's so many upsides because you do
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: have that kind of trust and intimacy, and then also
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: challenges like when you're doing something it's so intense with
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: somebody who is who you're also intensely involved with in
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: a different realm.
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: Why did you decide to work together?
• 26:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so we actually started working together first, So he
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: was my coach, I hadn't met him before, and me
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: and my partner that I was playing with for my
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: Tokyo run I hired him, and we just got really close,
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: like friends wise, like he he invited me, and her
• 27:20
  Speaker 3: name is Sarah Sponsele. It's now marble Stein. She got married,
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: but Sarah and I he invited us to like his
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: community group, his friend group.
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: He was doing some stuff with FCA. I don't know
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: if you know, it's.
• 27:31
  Speaker 3: The Fellowship of Christian Athletes, and yeah, just brought us
• 27:35
  Speaker 3: around a really cool community of people and we got
• 27:40
  Speaker 3: super close, the three of us. And yeah, I think
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: about seven months later, I would say I'd call him
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: my best friend. And feelings started arising and we had
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: a talk because he also had some feelings arising. But
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: we had the Tokyo Olympics, you know, in like six
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: or seven months away, so we're like, okay, whatever this is,
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: Like we both maybe have a crush, but whatever this is,
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: let's talk about it after the Olympics. We both want
• 28:12
  Speaker 3: to be locked in, we both want to pursue something
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: really special.
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: Let's do that.
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: And then COVID hit and all of our tournaments got
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: canceled for the year. Olympics got postponed till twenty one,
• 28:24
  Speaker 3: and we kind of look at each other. We're like,
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: do we have to wait over a year to even
• 28:28
  Speaker 3: start dating, so we kind of like started dating, but
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: also I think just had a lot of conversations to
• 28:34
  Speaker 3: see if this was real and did our values ALIGNE
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: and what we want out of life ALIGNE. And I
• 28:41
  Speaker 3: think through all of those conversations, by the time it
• 28:45
  Speaker 3: was a few months later, by the time we like
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: went on our first date, I was like, I want
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: to marry this guy, Like I'm I'm all in.
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: So it was cool.
• 28:54
  Speaker 3: We qualified for Tokyo, got to go, and then late
• 28:59
  Speaker 3: October of that year he proposed, which was really special.
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: So was it something that when you decided to when
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: you became involved and decided to marry, did you question
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: continuing the coach player relationship? Did you think like maybe
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: we should change this or was it just working so
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: beautifully and seamlessly that it worked out totally?
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 29:20
  Speaker 3: We we talk about it all all the time, like
• 29:23
  Speaker 3: is this is this still the best for both of us?
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: Is this the best for the team?
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: I think that's very much our priority is is the
• 29:32
  Speaker 3: team benefiting from this? But if it's taking it away,
• 29:37
  Speaker 3: it's for sure a conversation that we've had that we'll
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: we both kind of step away, but in both of
• 29:44
  Speaker 3: our opinions, it's been an add on and uh, it's
• 29:48
  Speaker 3: not it's.
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: Not easy doing this with your with your husband, Like well, right.
• 29:53
  Speaker 3: Maybe get an argument and now I got to listen
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: to him coach me like the next morning. So it's
• 29:58
  Speaker 3: it's not like sunshine and rainbows, which I think a
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: lot of people think. And I would say he's a
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: lot harder on me than my partners because he doesn't
• 30:07
  Speaker 3: want to feel any type of favoritism.
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: Which right makes me I wondered about that. Yes, yes, yes, so.
• 30:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's it's not easy, but it's been the most
• 30:18
  Speaker 3: fulfilling thing that I've ever got to pursue. You know,
• 30:21
  Speaker 3: I get to travel the world with my best friend
• 30:24
  Speaker 3: and pursue something so so special with with my guy.
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: So it's amazing.
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: Which just like so many athletes that they can't like
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: that's such a challenge for their their relationships, right because
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: they're always on the road.
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: So yeah, that's that's amazing. I think it also just
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: takes like the right type of.
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: People because we have so many friends that are like,
• 30:44
  Speaker 3: there's no way I could ever do this with my husband.
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: I'm like, that's true. I think if anyone else was
• 30:49
  Speaker 3: my husband, I couldn't do this. But because it's Jordan,
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: and because I'm the way that I am, like it works,
• 30:55
  Speaker 3: you know, so I think and and like I was
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: I was saying, I think a little bit earlier because
• 31:02
  Speaker 3: of our dynamic and because of how much we do
• 31:05
  Speaker 3: this together and do life together, It's forced us to
• 31:08
  Speaker 3: have so many conversations that again, it feels like we've
• 31:12
  Speaker 3: been married for much longer than four years, which is
• 31:14
  Speaker 3: kind of cool.
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: When I think about your athletic career, you know, there
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: are there have been disappointments along the way, but it
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: does seem that you've always been on a kind of
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: upward trajectory from looking from the outside. Is that you're
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: feeling about it or what have been your biggest challenges
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: and disappointments along the way.
• 31:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well that's nice, Like overall I'm trending up and
• 31:49
  Speaker 3: like an outsider attractive. Yeah, I think because I'm I'm
• 31:55
  Speaker 3: in it. I for sure feel that the dips more
• 32:00
  Speaker 3: more than I think maybe other people might see see
• 32:02
  Speaker 3: those dips, and I think it's another huge pro of journaling.
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: I'm able to kind of look back on and see
• 32:10
  Speaker 3: see the games and see those drops and like see
• 32:13
  Speaker 3: the ebbs and flows that just come out of life.
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: But yeah, I've had I've had so many.
• 32:21
  Speaker 3: Dips throughout my career. I've been broken up with, you know,
• 32:25
  Speaker 3: quite a few times.
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: And uh, you mean broken up like your teammate. It's
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: like I don't want to play, but yeah, yeah, exactly.
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: It's interesting this language you use. At the beginning of
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: our conversation. You're saying marriage, you know, with this teammate.
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: Now you're like, I've been broken up with. It really
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: is on that level kind of partnership.
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: It is, No, it's one hundred percent. Like I would say, any.
• 32:48
  Speaker 3: Any beach volleyball player that you talked to, they would
• 32:50
  Speaker 3: use similar language, like it is very much a marriage,
• 32:53
  Speaker 3: Like you get broken up with, like who.
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: Gets what in the divorce? Like and that hurts?
• 32:58
  Speaker 3: That hurts, right, It's hard, Yes, yes, but I think
• 33:02
  Speaker 3: if you yeah, just I think everything in life is
• 33:06
  Speaker 3: what perspective are you going to take? And there's been
• 33:09
  Speaker 3: many times that I've you know, like I said, broken
• 33:13
  Speaker 3: up with or you know, lost a really important match
• 33:16
  Speaker 3: and just feel like I've been thrown out on my butt.
• 33:21
  Speaker 3: I try to feel it for a little while, and
• 33:23
  Speaker 3: that always it just like depends on how long I
• 33:26
  Speaker 3: want to feel it. And then you get back up
• 33:29
  Speaker 3: and you keep fighting and you keep I still have
• 33:33
  Speaker 3: this desire and passion to keep going, so I keep going,
• 33:36
  Speaker 3: And yeah, I'm thankful for I'm thankful for those dips
• 33:40
  Speaker 3: because the highs are even better because of it.
• 33:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so yeah, it's the highest.
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: What would you mark as your highest achievement as an
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: athlete so far?
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: Probably in twenty twenty three, our World Championships. Arguably our
• 33:56
  Speaker 3: World Championships. It's a harder tournament to win than the
• 33:59
  Speaker 3: om maybe not looking at it just on the like
• 34:04
  Speaker 3: how much pressure there is, because I would say Olympics
• 34:06
  Speaker 3: is a lot more than that. But in the Olympics,
• 34:09
  Speaker 3: because we have so many other countries and only two
• 34:14
  Speaker 3: teams per country, there's uh, it's not as hard as
• 34:20
  Speaker 3: of competition as our World Championships. Our World Championships is
• 34:24
  Speaker 3: the best of the best, period. So it's it's a
• 34:28
  Speaker 3: very hard tournament to win. I can't remember how many
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: years it's been since the US one before our win
• 34:34
  Speaker 3: in twenty twenty three, but it has been a long
• 34:37
  Speaker 3: time because again, it's a very hard tournament. So I
• 34:41
  Speaker 3: think that that is very much up there for me.
• 34:44
  Speaker 3: On Yeah, it was so special. It's a crazy ride.
• 34:48
  Speaker 3: I can like close my eyes and remember all those matches.
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: It's cool. Oh that's beautiful.
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: So listen, I want your help answering a deer Sugar letter.
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: And I think when we give the advice to this
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: letter writer, we're going to touch upon another question I
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: have for you, which has to do with bikinis.
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: Okay, okay, can I read you the letter? Let's do it.
• 35:13
  Speaker 2: You can't talk about beach.
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: Volleyball without talking about bikinis, can you?
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: No? I don't think. So here's a letter, dear Sugar.
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: I've been struggling with my self confidence and self image lately,
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: especially when it comes to my body. I often find
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: myself feeling self conscious about the way I look in
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: bathing suits and other revealing clothes. Objectively speaking, I look fine,
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: I'm at a healthy weight, and I lead an active lifestyle.
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: The trouble comes when I look in the mirror and
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: I'm filled with worries about the imperfections I see. The
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: critic in my head says I should strive for more
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: muscle definition and a fitter look. Even though I exercise regularly. Already,
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: I'm aware enough that I know this critical voice isn't
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: the one I want to be listening to. When I
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: channel my or sugar, I can tell myself that I'm
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: strong and healthy and that there's nothing wrong with my
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: very real, twenty five year old body. But how do
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: I get closer to actually believing that? I see so
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: many quote perfect bodies on social media that it's hard
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: not to compare. How do I resist the pressure to
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: look perfect and learn how to feel okay with the
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: imperfect body I have?
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: Thank you, Signed Body Troubles. Oh that's such a real
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: That was so cool, so real.
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know about you, but I don't
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: know anyone who doesn't struggle with that at some point
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: on some level.
• 36:38
  Speaker 2: And many people all the time, right, yeah, one hundred
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: percent agree. Yeah, I think it's I think it's something.
• 36:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I've talked with other pros as well as high schoolers.
• 36:49
  Speaker 3: I just I think it's a I think every woman
• 36:52
  Speaker 3: has like felt that.
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: Unfortunately, And the reason I chose this letter for you
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: is like, whenever I watch Beach, it's like, you know,
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: we see so much.
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: You know, it's your your.
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: Uniforms are so revealing, right, and I just imagine what
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: it like. You're talking about being on that level stage
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: and scrutiny, scrutiny, and you know, what is it?
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: What is that like for you?
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: What's been your experience of that being inside of that
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: and watching yourself, you know, watching the match later.
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 37:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, It's something that I've struggled with a lot over
• 37:24
  Speaker 3: the years. And I think before before Paris, like we
• 37:34
  Speaker 3: had very strict guidelines on what we were allowed to wear.
• 37:39
  Speaker 3: But now I think I think it was the year
• 37:41
  Speaker 3: before Paris some rules were changed and now we are
• 37:44
  Speaker 3: able to wear whatever we want.
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: We just have to match. So like I could.
• 37:47
  Speaker 3: Wear if if you're out of beach volleyball event, I'm
• 37:50
  Speaker 3: sure you'll see some girls wearing skirts or you know,
• 37:54
  Speaker 3: more people are wearing leggings or shorts or you know,
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: undershirts under the you know, the tops that we have
• 38:00
  Speaker 3: to compete in.
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: And so when you say before Paris, where that you're
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: saying that you had to wear those little bikini bottoms,
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: you couldn't wear shorts or skirts?
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: No, no, no, Like this is what you wear. Like you're
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: at the beach, you wear a bikini, you know.
• 38:13
  Speaker 3: So it's cool now that we have the freedom to
• 38:15
  Speaker 3: kind of wear whatever we feel comfortable in. Like I
• 38:19
  Speaker 3: love competing in a bikini, especially when it's hot. Like
• 38:22
  Speaker 3: I hate the feeling of being hot and I'm wearing
• 38:25
  Speaker 3: shorts and they're sand in my shorts and now like
• 38:27
  Speaker 3: there's chafeen and I hate that feeling. But also now
• 38:32
  Speaker 3: because we can wear whatever, Like when I'm on my period,
• 38:35
  Speaker 3: I can wear shorts and not be stressed about.
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: Anything else extra happening.
• 38:41
  Speaker 3: But to like go back to the letter, I think,
• 38:45
  Speaker 3: I think when I was really struggling with some body
• 38:48
  Speaker 3: issues in the past, and I still there's some days
• 38:51
  Speaker 3: I wake up and I'm like, oh gosh, I I
• 38:53
  Speaker 3: work out a lot and I eat really well, and
• 38:55
  Speaker 3: I'm just like, I don't look like other girls, which
• 38:59
  Speaker 3: is of percent fine. God created me to look like this,
• 39:02
  Speaker 3: and I know I'm very disciplined. But I think one
• 39:07
  Speaker 3: thing that has really helped me with like the body
• 39:11
  Speaker 3: issue problem is one like not being on social media
• 39:16
  Speaker 3: as much. I think that just like the ability for
• 39:20
  Speaker 3: people to edit photos or pose in the right way,
• 39:24
  Speaker 3: and just like it's it's just not realistic.
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: So I try not to be on social media as much.
• 39:30
  Speaker 3: I think when I'm also in seasons of like not
• 39:33
  Speaker 3: loving how I look. I just I try not to
• 39:35
  Speaker 3: like stand in front of the mirror and stare because
• 39:38
  Speaker 3: then it just like it consumes my thoughts. So I
• 39:43
  Speaker 3: try to just like trust that I'm I'm doing the
• 39:46
  Speaker 3: right things, like I'm finding to be as disciplined as
• 39:48
  Speaker 3: possible and eating well.
• 39:49
  Speaker 2: And working out and like doing the right things.
• 39:52
  Speaker 3: But me standing in front of the mirror and like
• 39:55
  Speaker 3: being that that inner critic, that mean voice in my
• 39:58
  Speaker 3: head just like say negative things about myself isn't gonna
• 40:02
  Speaker 3: get me anywhere, So almost like taking that off my plate,
• 40:05
  Speaker 3: not even like looking.
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: And then I've also this was before.
• 40:14
  Speaker 3: A little bit after Tokyo and before Paris, I had
• 40:16
  Speaker 3: a sports like kind of share with me and had
• 40:19
  Speaker 3: me try some like positive affirmations in the mirror. So
• 40:23
  Speaker 3: I would like do that at night, And I think
• 40:24
  Speaker 3: that was helpful too, like looking at myself in the
• 40:27
  Speaker 3: mirror and saying like I'm beautiful and you know, things
• 40:30
  Speaker 3: like that.
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: I think that was really helpful.
• 40:34
  Speaker 3: But I also feel like each day just like feels
• 40:36
  Speaker 3: a little bit different, like some there's some days that
• 40:38
  Speaker 3: I feel strong enough to tell that critic to shut up,
• 40:42
  Speaker 3: and I'm able to almost combat that critic and look
• 40:45
  Speaker 3: in the mirror and be like, no, I look amazing,
• 40:47
  Speaker 3: like you don't.
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: You don't have a voice here.
• 40:50
  Speaker 3: And then some days where that critic is just louder,
• 40:53
  Speaker 3: and I'm like, okay, I just got to like not look,
• 40:56
  Speaker 3: not listen to the critic, and just like.
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: Move on with my day.
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: So it's interesting. It really is in your mind, isn't it.
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: It's like and even the letter writer says this, it's
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: like this inner critic, And I think that there are
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: a couple of really key points to what you said
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: in response to this letter is like that it that
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: it it's not about reality. I mean, first of all,
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: I just want to say the reality is is there's
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: no such thing as perfect. You know, perfect and imperfect
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: are absolutely subjective, you know, interpretations of things.
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: There is you know, we all just.
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: Have very human, very real bodies, and they look the
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: same in some ways and very different in other ways.
• 41:35
  Speaker 2: And one of the most healthy.
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: Things any of us can ever do, I think, is,
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: you know, go to a locker room that is frequented
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: by women of all ages, and stages of life, and
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: you know, you look around.
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: And there's there. They're like all kinds of bodies.
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: It's really affirming to say, like, yes, we can look
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: all kinds of ways and we're all perfect in our
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: own ways. And I know how hard it is to
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: look at yourself in the mirror and not like what
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: you see. You know, I've like, like, as we've said,
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: you know, like many women have struggled with that. But
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: what I've done, and the best advice that I have
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: for body of troubles is to do that that exactly
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: what you're saying, Kelly, is to control the mind to
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: either affirm yourself. It sounds so hokey to look at
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: yourself in the mirror and say I'm beautiful, you know,
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: and yet it does kind of work and it's powerful,
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: Yes it is, and it's it and you know, even
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: neurologists like will back us up on this. At least
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: this is a true thing. Psychologists and people study the brain.
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: The stories we tell ourselves are are you know, the
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: things we believe about ourselves. It's the things our brains
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: come to believe.
• 42:45
  Speaker 2: And so if you're looking.
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: At yourself in the mirror and you're always saying I'm wrong,
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: I'm imperfect.
• 42:49
  Speaker 2: I need to change.
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: You know, you're going to start to believe that if
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: you say I'm beautiful, or even if you can't go
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: that far, I just say I'm okay. It's powerful when
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: when I when my book Wild was made into a movie,
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: I had to do all this press with Res Wondershpoon
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: and Laura Dertin, like I had to be on red
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: carpets with these movie stars, and I truly went through
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: this thing with myself where I just I didn't look
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: in the mare and say I'm beautiful, but I wouldn't
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: let myself say negative things to myself about how I looked.
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: I would just say, stop, stop, don't say the negative thing.
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: And it made me stronger.
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: It made me stand up straight next to those movie
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: stars and feel okay with myself, you know, And I
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: think that that is you know that what you need
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: to work on is not your body body troubles, it
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: is your mind.
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: Beautiful. Yeah, that's so spaught on so much of what
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: we've talked about, Kelly.
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: It's interesting you who are so high achieving with the body,
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: I'm struck by we've ended up talking about the mind
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: a lot about relationships and stress and managing you know
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: those feelings. I think that it really is such a key.
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: You can't separate those two things. You know, Athletic achievement
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: is all about I think mental achievement as well.
• 44:11
  Speaker 3: No, I think that's so spot on. Yeah, and it's
• 44:14
  Speaker 3: especially at the highest level of what I'm doing. All
• 44:17
  Speaker 3: of us can do the same things physically for the
• 44:21
  Speaker 3: most part. There's a few girls that maybe jump a
• 44:23
  Speaker 3: little bit higher, hit a little bit harder, But I
• 44:25
  Speaker 3: would say physically like we can all hit a clean
• 44:28
  Speaker 3: high line shot, a clean cut shot, like we can all.
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: Do Yeah, I just have to stop you here.
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: I'm nod in my head, but I cannot do any
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: of those things you just named well.
• 44:37
  Speaker 3: Nous sorry us like the top garity teams in the world.
• 44:44
  Speaker 3: I mean, we can all do the same things physically.
• 44:47
  Speaker 3: But I think what makes the difference on winning tournaments
• 44:52
  Speaker 3: and champions is the mentality, which I mean, how many
• 44:56
  Speaker 3: athletes I mean mamba mentality, I mean there's so many,
• 44:59
  Speaker 3: there's so many ten documentaries I've watched, Like, I think
• 45:03
  Speaker 3: the mental in so many ways, especially when you like
• 45:06
  Speaker 3: hap out physically, like that's what that's what makes you
• 45:10
  Speaker 3: a champion on the court, and I think that's what
• 45:13
  Speaker 3: makes your life joyful off the court, is that perspective
• 45:18
  Speaker 3: shift and the ability to control those negative thoughts and yeah,
• 45:23
  Speaker 3: find joy in the little things like that's all mental,
• 45:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah it is.
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: Do you have a mantra or a prayer or a
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: phrase or something that you say to yourself to kind
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: of get yourself going before I match or during a match?
• 45:41
  Speaker 3: Something that I've been using a lot recently, and it's
• 45:45
  Speaker 3: it's been like during a match sometimes, I guess I'll
• 45:47
  Speaker 3: say it before it's it's just asking myself the question,
• 45:50
  Speaker 3: how do I want to show up right now? And
• 45:53
  Speaker 3: it just kind of it pulls me back into well,
• 45:55
  Speaker 3: I want to show up with joy, I want to
• 45:57
  Speaker 3: show up with ferocity. I want to show up for
• 46:00
  Speaker 3: my partner. I want to show up for my team,
• 46:02
  Speaker 3: you know. But just like asking myself that question, I
• 46:05
  Speaker 3: think it gives me the ability to get out of
• 46:07
  Speaker 3: my head or get out of whatever, like stressful emotion
• 46:13
  Speaker 3: that maybe has like kind of caught me in quicksand
• 46:16
  Speaker 3: And because of that perspective shift, I'm able to get
• 46:20
  Speaker 3: out of it and be present and then show up
• 46:23
  Speaker 3: how I want to show up versus there's moments and
• 46:26
  Speaker 3: I think every athlete and I'm sure other people can
• 46:29
  Speaker 3: relate with this too, that when a strong emotion comes
• 46:33
  Speaker 3: and it just feels like you can't you can't get
• 46:35
  Speaker 3: out of it and it's controlling you and consuming you.
• 46:38
  Speaker 3: Just again that question is just gives me that enough
• 46:42
  Speaker 3: of a perspective shift.
• 46:44
  Speaker 2: To get out of it, which has been super powerful
• 46:46
  Speaker 2: for me. Yeah.
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: I think when you can have that kind of mental control,
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: it actually is a superpower.
• 46:54
  Speaker 2: You know, it's a beautiful thing. What's next for you?
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: What's happening the rest of the summer and into the
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: fall as you keep moving toward.
• 47:06
  Speaker 2: La I know. So it's so exciting.
• 47:08
  Speaker 3: Yes, We've got quite a few tournaments left this summer.
• 47:12
  Speaker 3: We have our Manhattan Beach Open, which is our biggest
• 47:14
  Speaker 3: domestic event of the season. That's in two weeks, so
• 47:18
  Speaker 3: that's super exciting. And then we go to Montreal for
• 47:21
  Speaker 3: another international event, and then yeah, I think we have
• 47:25
  Speaker 3: a few more few more AVP events, which is super exciting.
• 47:30
  Speaker 3: So yeah, just like different beaches all over and then
• 47:36
  Speaker 3: our season. Our next year's calendar hasn't come out yet,
• 47:39
  Speaker 3: but it should come out soon, and I think it's
• 47:42
  Speaker 3: going to start end of November early December, and that's
• 47:44
  Speaker 3: when Olympic qualification starts, so we're like starting to mentally
• 47:49
  Speaker 3: prepare for Okay, the push, the push is about.
• 47:52
  Speaker 2: To start, which is which is super exciting.
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: Well, I'm excited for you, and thank you so much
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: for taking the time to share this conversation with me.
• 48:02
  Speaker 2: I really love talking to you, Kelly. I'm wishing you
• 48:05
  Speaker 2: all the best. Thank you so much, Thank you, it's
• 48:08
  Speaker 2: been great. Thanks thanks for listening.
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: If you'd like to write to me seeking advice, please
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: send me an email at Deardearsugar at gmail dot com
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: and don't forget to rate, review and subscribe wherever you
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: get your podcasts. Happy trails, and I'll see you next week.
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: Mine Over Mountain with Cheryl Strad is an iHeart women's
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: sports production produced by Britney Brown and Rodney Brown of
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: Barbara Jean Productions. Supervising producer is Kaylin West at REALM.
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: Associate producer Amaya Brathwaite. Our executive producers are Molly Barton,
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: Jerry Carreta, Grace Views and Jesse Katz. Our theme song
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: is composed by Gramoscope music. Don't forget to rate, review,
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, Happy trails, and
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: I'll see you next week.