Latest / Aggressive Negotiations: A Star Wars Podcast / Issue 317: Star Wars Drinking Laws

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Issue 317: Star Wars Drinking Laws · Aggressive Negotiations: A Star Wars Podcast

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Hello, then, welcome to the Nerd Polity. Hi. This is Nick
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Nastasu, story editor on Star Wars, the Clone Wars and Star Wars bad
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Batch, and you are listening to Aggressive negotiations. That's right, this is
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aggressive negotiations the Star Wars podcast here on the Nerd Party Network that is unafraid
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to explore these strange, the quirky and all of the wonderful corners of the
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Star Wars galaxy far far away that so many others overlook. I am one
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of your hosts, John Mills, and I am thrilled as always to be
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joined by my dear friend and fellow traveler here in these parts, Jedi Master
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Matthew Rushing. Matt, I welcome you back to our little slice of Star
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Wars Heaven that we have right here, and I'm going to ask you just
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to start off with our topic. What do you got in your cup tonight?
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Well, um, you know, I don't know if we would call
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most Icely Cantina a little slice of heaven, but they do serve some good
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bruise. I've got a Booeye Beer Company Check Style pilsner, which is going
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down smooth and so really enjoying that and wher wasn't too much of a jerk
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face. Uh. He nicely let me have this for, you know,
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at cost of his usual markup, So appreciate that about him. What are
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you drinking tonight, John Well? I think that maybe that Jedi mind trick
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you pulled probably helped talk the price down on that. Is that ethical for
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you to do? I don't know, I'm not. Have you seen his
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gouging prices? I think there's justice in that. Maybe so, maybe so,
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But if then you would have gotten me a much more reasonable price on
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this plane, Seltzer. Because we're having this topic right now during a time
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where I have forsworn the bottle for the Lenten season. So it's ironic that
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our first show here is going to be talking about drinking laws in the Star
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Wars galaxy. And as we all know, this is a topic near and
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dear to both of our hearts. We are aficionados, and of course you
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know, we enjoy responsibly. Everybody should enjoy responsibly. Feels like we live
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in an age where we all have to make sure that we're making those disclaimers.
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But sort of the seed of this idea, this discussion topic that we
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have right here is drinking seems to be a thing in the Star Wars galaxy.
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And as I was sitting there one night, I thought to myself self,
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wouldn't drinking laws on a galactic scale be incredibly impractical? But given the
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fact that both the Republican the Empire loved to pass laws that were useless and
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difficult to enforce, do you think there was a galactic standard for drinking laws
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or do you think it was the wild West? See, this is the
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thing that is so fascinating about this, And I wonder because like overarching rules
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for the galaxy at large seems like it would be, like you said,
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kind of useless because you know, every species ages differently. So I mean,
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baby Yoda, our little grogu is at least fifty years old, but
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I mean he's not a drinking age with his chain code lists him as fifty
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years old. And the age thing does to your point, like it becomes
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impractical to enforce on a galactic scale. Additionally, I would think an added
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I want to explore this one. You don't know what affect different drinks are
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going to have on different species, right, Yeah, so you could be
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serving a beer to a Wookie and the Wookie processes it the way Andre the
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Giant did, where it barely makes a dent. But that same beer is
4:09
going to knock Obi Wan on his keister because it's a very strong right l
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although I don't know. I mean, Obi Wan seems to enjoy his strong
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beverages. You know, He's always getting one, and so I feel like
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he's built up a quite a tolerance to the alcohol. I have my own
4:25
theory about that. I think that Jedi could mitigate the effect of alcohol on
4:32
their system. I think I think that if they had any desire to do
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so, they could, you know, I don't know, have some extra
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medic Chlorian scrubbing or something like that Midian scrubbing. Because well, I mean,
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because the last thing think about this, you know, like Fearly's anger
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angrily say hate hate leads the suffering. What if a Jedi winds up being
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an angry drunk, you're in a lot of trouble, Like a whole lot
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of trouble. So I mean even that, Okay, it seemed like we
5:02
keep peeling away these layers here and everything, but I know we're not really
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sticking with anything. But now boom, I go right into that with the
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Jedi. Maybe Obi Wan was breaking a rule by drinking at all, Like,
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wouldn't you think that the Jedi would be like, hey, listen,
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alcohol doesn't lead to good things, man, So you know that's part of
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our our thing. We don't drink. And Obi Wan, you know,
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maybe was bending the rules for himself a little bit. I don't know.
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I mean, I guess we'd have to go back. And like, especially
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with the Clone Wars and everything, it does seem like, you know,
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Jedi, not just obi One have as a drink. I think you know,
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we've seen Anakin have a drink at one time or another. And you
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know these are not two poster children for following the rules. However, I'm
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talking about other Jedims. True, but I feel like Bace Windows a heavy
5:51
you know, Karelian whiskey man. You know, no, I think I
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think, if ever there's a poster child for somebody who did not know how
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to relax, it's Mace Window. And so I think I think our argument
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fall. Well, come on you, depending on what you're telling me.
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I don't think he touched a drop. You're telling me though, that Quinlan
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Voss isn't somebody who probably not only drinks but partakes in you know, the
6:20
mushrooms of the season. Again, not a poster child, you know,
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Like I think I think we have right there, definitely. I mean we
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we saw Count Dooku drink. I mean, like, I think there's plenty
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of people. The guy became a scythe It's true. It's true. I'm
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just saying there's there's there's copious amounts of footage of people drinking and Star Wars,
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and I don't think anybody true, you know it. I don't think
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that for Jedi it was the thing that was bad. I think like most
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everything that Jedi do, you know, for them it would be in martyration
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um and you know they would be almost all upstaining citizens when it comes to
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that, unless you're Krell, and then we already know what an a hole
7:02
you are, so you know he's probably a heavy drinker. No, I
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would say, if any I would say, if anybody needs a drink,
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it's Krell. Like I think Window and I think Krell are your poster children
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for you don't need to be straight edge. And do you think that there
7:19
was room legal maneuverability for a bartender to refuse service to anyone that they chose.
7:27
Like, let's say they see I don't know, they see a twee
7:31
leck come in and they know that twee lex. If they drink, certain
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things become just unstoppable monsters. Do you think that there would have been laws
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to protect the bar keep to be like, no, no, don't serve
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them because that could lead to trouble. Or isn't that getting into I mean,
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I guess that would be getting into an awful area of If a twee
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leck wants a drink, who are you to refuse them? Right? I
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don't know. Maybe you could just be like, we don't serve your kind
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here. Uh you know, so you could be super racist about it,
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or or speciest um you know. I don't so wuhor serves a shadra fan
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a big tall beverage uh so. I don't think he cared about what he
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was serving people as long as they pay. H So. I think at
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places like most Icily, no matter who you are are, what species you
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are, you could get a drink of whatever you wanted to drink and nobody's
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gonna say jack about it. Right, But I think if you go to
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a planet like Naboo, where you know, everything's above board. Uh,
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you know except for palpacine and um, you know things are are are generally
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very classy. I don't think you're gonna get children one walking in and being
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able to get a drink and it So this is I think what would actually
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make it so difficult because you would have an average drinking age forever, very
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species and as a bartender you would have to be aware of that. And
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and then my guess is is that this is how it works, is that
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then they would have to show some sort of ID which would prove or at
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least mitigate the circumstances of them being able to drink to say, hey,
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I got this ID, I can have a drink. Let me let me
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posit this to you. Is it possible that that scanner that goes off when
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the droids walk in in the most sizely cantina is indicative of scanners that are
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throughout the galaxy. And if we can track somebody by chain code that indicates
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some sort of genetic signaling or microchipping or what have you. And if somebody
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were to walk in without that identification that would be read from the scanner and
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or something that triggered the scanner, the bartender could say nope, out,
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So the bartender isn't making a personal call, and you could have that thing
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go off and it's like nope, sorry, you know you're you're too young,
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get out, you're or too old maybe you know, like like you
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said, species age and mature differently sort of thing. So maybe that that
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what was there? One I'm trying to recall the out the the layout of
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the club they went into an episode two. I think there was a scanner
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like that in the front, wasn't there? And it couldn't have been just
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to keep Droid's out because possibly you know there there were there. You know,
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that would be an interesting sort of thing. Yeah, I know,
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I I think that we're kind of onto something here, and you know,
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I think it makes sense then well, and what would be interesting is,
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you know, whatever if your chain coade or something, because we know that
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doesn't really show up until the Empire, but say in the Republic, there
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would be some sort of like identification uh that allow how do you to have
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access to your funds um and then would allow you know, so you could
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pay for things, but it also would have um the ability to legitimize you
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to be in certain types of places like a bar. Uh you know,
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because I mean, you know, nobody's going to the bar there on Coruscant
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and hoping they're going to run into a seven year old. Um. You
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know, that's a place for adults to have a good time. Not so.
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UM. I think there's there's absolutely got to be a way for that
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to happen. And when you live in a world where everything can be tracked
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in a digital way, UM, I think that that's the way that that
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Star Wars would and the galaxy at large, whether it was the Empire or
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was the New Republic or the Old Republic, is that would be the way
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in which they would be able to kind of keep track of who people are
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and what they're allowed to do in certain places. And like you said,
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then it's not on the bartender. You know, the bartender is free and
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clear. As long as they have the right type of ID, then they're
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able to buy a drink. Whether that idea is forged or any of that,
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that's not up to the bartender, right, And so I think that
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would be the way that you keep especially as a bartender, you have to
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just make sure you have the most up to date information so then you know,
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you can't get sued by some angry parent because their kid came in with
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a fake ID. And you know, now see, as horrifying as it
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is to posit the idea that we have some sort of social credit score system
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going on, I think that that's interesting. You talk about, like,
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you know, the bartender being sued because another angle I think about this and
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the necessity for some sort of baseline law. I would argue that, most
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likely, like everything else, the Republic was set up in such a way,
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well, Tatoweene has this drinking law and Naboo has this one and we
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don't care. That's fine, which, you know, you could also argue
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the Empire probably would have been the same way, because why would they really
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care. But let's say they did. I would argue that the reason for
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them to care, and where the laws would come into effect would be anybody
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operating a ship, especially ones that went into hyperspace, because imagine not Han.
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But let's say dash Rendar. We've talked about chadows of the Empire here
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on aggressive negotiations. Dash Rendar goes and gets wasted at the most Eisley Cantina,
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climbs aboard his ship flies off. He could either cause a hideous accident,
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and or he could get lost in hyperspace. He could miscalculate. Wait
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and or ha ha ha ha ha ha ha no, no saint, and
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or one must never say anything bad about him. But I'm talking about dash
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round argets in his ship. He's drunk. He could cause all sorts of
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collisions. He could get lost in hyper space. He could come out of
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hyperspace, you know, into a planet, into an asteroid field. So
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how would you set up laws to prevent drunk flying or would there be would
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like, would the law be that there would be a mandatory thing in the
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ship where you would walk on and there would have to be a scanner in
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the ship. That's like, nope, you may not fly. Or if
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you do want to fly, you have to have your droid fly the ship.
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So you have to have maybe droids have breathalyzers and so they let you
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know whether or not you should be flying the ship or they should be flying
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the ship. But if you had me out there in the galaxy far far
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away, being some sort of like legal analyst, legal analyst, or if
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I had no sole a lawyer, I could be sitting there arguing, well,
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what if somebody can't afford a droid, Well, then you're effectively grounding
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them. Well could you simply be of the mind then well tough, tough
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toenails and don't drink that much. Well you would have to, I would
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say, you know, if you don't have a droid, then you would
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have to take the breathalyzer before you could you know, drink and fly.
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And then if you did drink and fly, you know, you're putting yourself
15:20
at risk and other people and hopefully you're not getting caught. You know.
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I do think it's interesting because you know, we've seen on like the Mandalorian
15:28
the New Republic patrols and so in the in the shipping lanes specifically, so
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we know that that was happening then, I mean, you just know the
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Empire was probably love and busting people for you know, been being able to
15:43
impound ships and all that. That just seems right up their alley. Uh,
15:48
some power hungary, you know, Lieutenant commander on some no nothing imperial
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ship gets off on you know, impounding people's ships because it makes them feel
15:58
powerful. Um. And then and then yeah, yeah, and then in
16:03
the New Or you know, and then in the Old Republic from from the
16:07
prequel trilogy. You know, Um, what's interesting about that is that I
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feel like it's the major systems that would be you know, in the planets
16:18
that we'd be responsible for that in the Republic era because there's no standing Republic
16:22
army and the Jedi that's not their job, and so you know, the
16:29
planets would be more responsible for that, um, to make sure that ship's
16:33
taking off. You know that the people that are taking off on those ships
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have the cognitive ability to be able to fly those and they're not you know,
16:42
drunk out of their gourd, And so yeah, I think it is.
16:48
It is just an interesting question though as as it is a silly one.
16:52
But when you think about the variety of species in the Star Wars universe
17:00
and then you think of about something like alcohol, I think you made a
17:03
great point earlier. One of the things that becomes interesting is that different species
17:10
could have completely different tolerances in a way that would make, you know,
17:15
a few drops of one alcohol for one species like almost a heart stopper,
17:21
and for others just like nothing. You know, they'd be drinking whole glasses
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of it and it would barely have an effect on them, and so I
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think that would be the other difficult thing as being a bartender is that,
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you know, you would absolutely have alcohols that could kill people while others could
17:42
be drinking it by the gallon, you know. Yeah, I mean,
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and that is that is a difficult thing to try to noodle through because maybe,
17:53
just maybe Wuhair was not the nicest person specifically be cause he had to
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remember all of these different types of drinks and that that's got to wear on
18:04
you. You know, you're not gonna focus on your people's skills when what
18:10
you're concerned about is making sure that you don't you know. I think of
18:14
the Simpsons where they show the sushi chef, you know, cutting up a
18:21
deadly blowfish for a sushi dinner. It's like, you know, poison poison,
18:25
poison tasty fish, you know, and it's like this tiny little sliver
18:29
and it's um, you know it hm hmm. I mean, because because
18:36
the thing is I just I think it's so impractical because I don't know how
18:41
you wouldn't. I mean, basically, I don't know how you would enforce
18:44
it. I think for any law that you pass, you have to have
18:45
the ability to enforce. I think you hit on something with shipping lanes.
18:49
All they're gonna really care about is the shipping lanes. So if you get
18:53
near a shipping lane, then they're gonna they're gonna be all over you,
18:57
like white on rice. But if you're just doing a joy ride, what
19:02
do they care if you crash in hyper Although the thing is you could cause
19:07
a planetary catastrophe coming out of hyperspace too close to the planet, right,
19:17
I mean you you'd basically be a bomb going off, right, Yeah,
19:19
Well, not everybody is Han solo in the Force awakens, you know,
19:23
being able to jump out of hyperspace in the atmosphere of a planet and not
19:29
kill somebody. M hm, that's that's very true, you know. I'm
19:33
just saying like there are very few dealings that seem to have that ability,
19:38
which you know, I mean might be an argument that HAN has a little
19:41
bit more of the force than it has been led on, so or you
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know, maybe there's even I don't know, hyper space skipping could happen too.
19:52
Oh yeah, of course we haven't even talk about is hyperspace skipping aloud?
19:57
You know, when you're drunk, can you imagine trying to do that
20:00
being plastered. You know, I think that was a phrase we just invented.
20:03
I don't even know what that is. So um to the laws drunk
20:11
in Star Wars and hyper hyperspace skipping whatever, whatever, it's fine, it's
20:17
fine. Um yeah, man, Yeah, that was a fun discussion discussion
20:23
that we had in an earlier episode two. Anyway, So I'm gonna I'm
20:30
gonna pause it with the with the drinking laws, I agree with you.
20:33
They're going to care about shipping lanes. They gotta keep those clear. And
20:37
as even though I haven't read anything besides one book in the series, if
20:42
I recall correctly, there's a hyperspace cataclysm that messes with the entire galaxy in
20:48
the I got High Republic books, right, isn't it a hyperspace catastrophe of
20:55
lanes? Yea, So they will have specific concerns about what happens in the
21:03
hyperspace lanes, So they would have to have something mandated to keep people from
21:10
flying their ships drunk. And I just don't know. I mean, obviously,
21:17
in the Star Wars galaxy, people are very good mechanics, and they're
21:19
adept at disabling these sorts of things like your your ship is your hot rod.
21:26
But for the general I would I would, I guess I would say
21:29
that for the general public those laws are enough. But for the people like
21:33
Hansolo, he's removed that from the falcon. You know, Lando probably removed
21:38
that from the falcon goodness knows how long ago, although he had a droid,
21:44
so it would have been less of a factor for him, because to
21:45
your point, if you have a droid, then the droid can fly for
21:49
you. Sort of. Yeah, I mean, I think I really liked
21:55
the idea, the whole idea of that there is a system for every planet
22:03
and every species to basically have a you know, drinking guide to wookies,
22:10
you know, and that that is a part of being a licensed bartender on
22:17
any planet, is that you have access to that, and that your bar
22:21
has access to that, and that then you know, everybody who comes into
22:26
your bar is supposed to have a ID of some form which lets you know
22:33
whether or not they should be able to enjoy an alcoholic beverage in your building,
22:41
but would also alert you to the types of alcohol that they're allergic to
22:45
as a species, or would be deadly for that species. You know,
22:48
to me that that's just something that like, I just kind of love that
22:52
idea, that that's absolutely something that would happen. But I also think and
22:57
this is something that I also like a lot about. This is the idea
23:03
that, yeah, those places like Tattoine and other places like that, or
23:07
do you think of Florum or something like that, you know where a Hondo's
23:11
bases like they don't care m but but any respectable system and planet would be
23:18
one that would make sure these would be laws to which you would have to
23:25
follow or you would get arrested. And part of that is again is what
23:29
we talked about. When you start to think about it, types of alcohol
23:33
could be deadly to some species that they couldn't to others, and therefore everybody
23:38
would actually want this protection because it's it's for the betterment of everyone to not
23:44
accidentally be served something that could stop their heart in a second, you know,
23:48
well, I mean late over that though, is additionally the drug trade.
23:55
We know that there are drugs in Star Wars, and Han Solo was
23:59
a drug runner for a time in his life with spice, and that maybe
24:07
maybe we need to explore this in the context of drug laws overall, because
24:11
obviously there's an intergalactic trade. Maybe the way you saw for what you're talking
24:17
about is you have either some sort of like base ingredients that go to where
24:22
you have your still. Like basically interstellar trade would dictate that Tatoweene, Naboo,
24:30
any place that wants to serve drinks, they would have to have trade
24:33
relations with Kashik, They would have to have trade relations with Coruscant, who
24:40
could ship things out. You know, like the the liquor store that I
24:45
go to down the street, they're not brewing that stuff. They just have
24:51
it shipped tonight. And a lot of bars they're not brewing the stuff.
24:56
It's being shipped to them and they just hook up the kegs and they have
24:59
the bottles and everything. Thing like that. But what challenges me with that
25:03
is if you look at wouhair set up, it looks like a still.
25:07
It looks like he's creating the alcohol on premises. Yeah, it's a good
25:11
point. That type of situation becomes the tricky one. Although you know,
25:18
maybe maybe it's possible that we have sort of the Star Trek solution where if
25:26
you can breathe the same atmosphere that everybody else can, nothing's gonna kill you,
25:32
It just might not thrill you. So maybe that you know, No,
25:37
I that's actually a pretty good point because there are definitely species in Star
25:41
Wars that are not the same. Like you think of the Ombarns. You
25:45
know, they have specialized suits and everything like that. Um, you know,
25:49
you think of like maybe aquatic species where you know, they might have
25:55
a different reaction even though they couldn't live outside water, they not necessarily respond
26:00
to certain types of alcohol as others. So yeah, I mean it's it's
26:06
funny because you know, the more we kind of dig into this, I
26:08
think the more interesting that the questions get. And you know, obviously one
26:15
of the things and the beauty is about Star Wars, right, is that
26:18
it's not really interested in these type of questions oh at all. I think
26:23
that's what makes it great. You know, you walk into a bar and
26:27
you see all of these different types of aliens and you don't even think about
26:30
the idea should they all be drinking the same thing? Right? And yet
26:37
you also think of the variety of alien species and you think of what it
26:47
would mean to be a well stocked bar like say on cors On, like
26:51
a really popular, very swanky type of place where where high class species from
27:00
all over the galaxy would come and they would want their specialized liquor or whatever.
27:06
And it's like, man, you think about the credits that you would
27:10
be able to make if you were able to procure for people that type of
27:15
stuff, right, and it's it's kind of like. There's a place here
27:19
in where I live in the Northwest called the MoMA Whiskey Library, and they're
27:25
favous for having thousands of whiskies across the spectrum, and so some of the
27:33
most I think I think maybe the most expensive shot that I saw in there
27:37
that you can get was like a thousand dollars and then we're talking like two
27:41
fingers, but it's because it's this ultra rare stuff that goes for you know,
27:45
nine ten, whoever knows how many thousands of dollars, and so,
27:51
you know, I think I'm talking myself into needing to be a bartender and
27:56
star Wars because I feel like I could just make bookous of money. I'd
28:00
rather just be the bar owner and let the bartender take the rap when he
28:03
serves somebody too much or the wrong thing that you know, and let the
28:07
empire sends some Stormtroopers over to them, you know, for that purpose.
28:11
But I will say, just to wrap everything up, I will say that
28:15
to your point, and we acknowledge this. We always acknowledge this. We
28:18
have fun talking about these sorts of things. But it's like Star Wars wasn't
28:22
set up to care about these sorts of minutia the way that Star Trek was.
28:26
And I'm going to throw out there that post next generation, that's why
28:33
Star Wars will always be superior to many forms of Star Trek because there's no
28:38
such thing as synth the hall in Star Wars. Everybody just gets ripped.
28:42
That's also why Deep Space Nine in the original series are so much fun because
28:45
those people, you know, they like to have you know, Quark mate
28:48
his living do we I mean, they give you the real stuff. Baby
28:52
Quark was the wu hair of the Star Trek, like Galaxy. I like,
28:56
so go figure that one out. So with all of that said,
29:00
Matt, if people want to trade different drink recipes with you and they want
29:03
to find you online, where can they find you? Well, of course
29:06
that would be on Twitter, Instagram, letterbox and vow. I'm on the
29:11
name Mount Rushing zero two on all of them. You can also find me
29:15
here on the network with a show called Outpost with Dred Kaufman talking about the
29:18
Harry Potter series One Chapter time. I'm over on the TFM network. I've
29:22
got a bunch of shows over there that I love doing. One is the
29:26
six h two Club, and we talk about all the fantoms we love,
29:29
not just one. So we've got like Star Wars, Bond, you know,
29:34
Marvel, DC, YadA, YadA YadA. John is there frequently as
29:37
a guest. We've also got some bonus shows that we do together there as
29:41
well. You can find all in the same feed. Do literary tracks about
29:45
the books and the comics of Star Trek, the Orb about Star Trek,
29:48
Deep Space nine, Saddle Up about Strange New Worlds, We're five about Star
29:52
Trek Enterprise, and right smack dab in the middle of Star Trek Picard season
29:57
three, the final season on the Artificial Tango. We're loving talking about it.
30:03
So I hope you'll check us out there. But you know, John,
30:07
when you're not trying to figure out exactly what planet's whiskey you want to
30:10
go with tonight, where can people find you? Don't taunt me man like?
30:15
Right now this, I'll tell you it's been a test. It's been
30:19
a test like it never has Anywayency bodcast System or yes, the Emergency the
30:29
Emergency Barcas Select System. Yeah, oh I like that, the Emergency Barcas
30:33
System. Love it trademark that we're making that a thing. That'll be a
30:38
new show, new you know what, that'll be a new sub show that
30:41
we released the Emergency Barcast System. There. I love it, beautiful.
30:45
This is where great ideas come to die. And if you want to learn
30:48
how to regret decisions, you can find me online. I am Castle Junkie.
30:55
You should be able to figure out how to spell it by this point.
30:57
And you can also find me on a show here on the network called
31:02
house Lights, where we talk about the works of directors by all sorts of
31:06
crazy combinations enemy and use any excuse that we can to work discussions about a
31:12
director into reasons to watch movies that we like. And that's a lot of
31:17
fun too, but not as much fun as talking about drinking laws here in
31:21
the Star Wars Galaxy, which I've had a blast doing with you, Master
31:25
Rushing. And we are here just a few weeks away until my lenten trials
31:30
are over, and to prepare for that, to go through that exhaustive Star
31:34
Wars whiskey list. I think it's time to close these negotiations Sean negotiations for
31:42
close Join the Revolution, Join the Nerd Party,