Latest / Be the Bison / Honor Over Resentment: Remembering Our Parents
Transcript
- Andrew Rauch: Everybody, welcome to Be the Bison podcast. Great to be with you. one the things I wanted to do today is ⁓ share a little personal testimony and story about a long-term storm, if you will, getting through that storm ⁓ and specifically just kind a message to leave behind. So ⁓ the personal context ⁓ is the following. back in my mom passed we spent about three years ⁓ bringing here bringing her here to Texas and ⁓ her a place to live, which she really enjoyed. ⁓ ul ultimately you know, aging and and challenges health-wise, with her heart, ⁓ overall ⁓ decline in health and mental health as well with dementia. ⁓ on a Monday she unfortunately fell, broke her hip and On a Friday she had passed away. So we honored ⁓ her wishes for ⁓ cremation. ⁓ a few years ago, I think about five years ago, now my dad passed away, and he ⁓ had same kinds of wishes for his burial was ⁓ cremation. So last week ⁓ we had an opportunity to bring the whole family to New York. If you've ever been to New York or if you know ⁓ a little bit about it, the Hudson Valley is Quite beautiful up there by ⁓ West Point, ⁓ Bear Mountains, Catskills. Catskills is actually where my parents' final place to live together was. ⁓ but event, my nephew found a beautiful location, actually where he and his ⁓ wife got married about 10 years ago, out on a lake ⁓ near the Bear Mountains, and ⁓ we decided do a remembrance. ceremony for both my mom and dad together with ⁓ the the immediate family. Beautiful day in New York, a little hot. but ⁓ we got to do it together and I and I think it was a great way to ⁓ close a chapter of a long storm to to be in. And ⁓ you I I think kind of the message ⁓ what does God say about our parents is the the message that kind of kept pressing me through through that storm and you know honoring my my mom and ⁓ to some degree my dad as well, although it'd be a he'd been passed for some time. But wanted to make sure as the ⁓ surviving oldest child and son ⁓ that did my part ⁓ to ⁓ lead well through a ⁓ nearly three a half year storm of elderly care, the ups and downs, the rain and the sunshine, if you will. the occasional bursts of lightning and ⁓ thunder through that season of elderly care was ⁓ quite challenging. But the thing that kept ⁓ kept me going through was, you know, what does God say about how do we honor our parents? I don't know if you've ever read ⁓ the Ten Commandments or you're familiar with the Ten Commandments. The first four are all about God himself and how we ⁓ hon honor God and the first commandment not about God or the fifth commandment is about honoring your mom and dad. I think there's a lot of weightiness and ⁓ responsibility to what that ⁓ looks like. So that me pressing through. was great ⁓ coming alongside me and being a big support to help take care of my mom in the final days. So with that context and being said. ⁓ wanted to share a little bit about my message to the family the topic was after we gathered in front of this beautiful lake, the topic and the question I asked was, What does God say about how we should remember our parents? And ⁓ God's response ⁓ in Exodus ⁓ is twenty twelve, says, your father ⁓ and honor your mother. And ⁓ very, very to the point. and God's response to us is that we we do that with remembrance as a sacred act. throughout scripture, God honors those who walk faithfully before him and he calls his people, ⁓ especially those that are believers, right, to remember remember them with hearts of gratitude. And ⁓ remembering is not necessarily pretending that everything is okay ⁓ that it's perfect, but it's about recognizing God's grace at work through imperfect people ⁓ like parents. So to honor our parents is to honor one of the God's greatest gifts to us. We give thanks for the life that they gave us, how well they done even though they may have been absent the many sacrifices they made, the lessons ⁓ taught us, the ways that God used them in their imperfect imperfections to shape our lives. Now so at the same time, honoring doesn't require to not deny the reality of human brokenness. Every parent, like every child, is imperfect. if you follow scripture and you know God's story. You know, since the beginning of time and the garden as sin entered the world, we are all born into sin, and not one of us is is good and perfect and just because of that ⁓ inheritance since the garden. But at the time, you know the story, we're all ⁓ in need of God's and mercy. ⁓ and as it relates our parents, where there are wounds, there are disappointments, there's failures. And God calls us not to carry the bitterness, but to extend the same forgiveness and grace we have received in Christ. can cherish the good, we can learn from the difficult, and we can entrust what remains unresolved to God's justice and mercy. So I said to our family today, we choose gratitude over resentment, grace ⁓ over and honor over regret. So as we remember ⁓ my parents, or if you're thinking about yours as we remember them, know, their grandparents, their in-laws, their extended family members. And what we want to do is encourage one another to give ⁓ a big hearty thanks to God for the blessings that we received, extend forgiveness ⁓ where it really needed. ⁓ And celebrate the enduring ways that their lives continue to shape ours and the next generations to come. So it's one of the things that I that I shared about what does God say about how we should remember our parents. I also dove into what is God's promise how we remember our parents in Psalms 34, 18, that the Lord is near to the brokenhearted. And saves the crushed in spirit. So ⁓ a great promise, that God is ⁓ in the absence of sorrow. You may have had a you know really difficult ⁓ time and experience with the loss of your parents, but ⁓ God's promise is that in their absence, There is an opportunity to get through that time or get through that storm. So as we honor those that we love, we lean on the one who has promised that I will never leave you or I will never forsake you, as it says in Hebrews God's ⁓ is comfort today. His faithfulness is our strength for tomorrow. And his promise of eternal life through Christ is our everlasting hope in the midst of loss or in the midst of losing someone. So though we may mourn the loss of those we love, we do not grieve without hope. We forward to the day when Christ will make all things new. Every tear, disappointment, every deep sorrow will will will be wiped away. And those who that those who that belong to ⁓ and in Christ and believe in in God will dwell forever in his presence. ⁓ that is a amazing promise. But until that day, we rest in the confidence that God walks with us now. he'll ⁓ one welcome us into the fullness of his kingdom. So that is God's promise as we think about and remember our parents. And the last thing I shared with ⁓ the family was what does that mean? That challenge, what does God challenge us we are remembering the life of our parents? In Proverbs 13, 22, it says, the good person leaves an inheritance not to their children, but their children's children. So God calls us to carry forward all that is good, all that is noble and just, so that the legacy of those who have gone before us continues to bless generations yet to come. one of the ways to honor and remember our parents is not simply to look back with gratitude, but also to ⁓ live and look forward to with purpose and hope about things are gonna be better, not just for us, but as mentioned in that scripture, our kids and and their kids. So with that, we become faithful stewards of ⁓ what is enduring and good values that our parents modeled. we honor ⁓ the wisdom that they shared. and even in very difficult parent-child relationships, there's probably, you know, some some wisdom that can be gained. there's a hope ⁓ for a better life ⁓ that they sought to pass on to us. I know for my parents, first generation to the United States. And coming to America, that was a big part ⁓ desire was being in America that their three children, their three boys, you know, would have a better life than they did in the challenging, struggling times during World War Two and post World War Two in Europe. where they reflected God's goodness, we are also called to do the same. ⁓ where they demonstrated ⁓ love and integr integrity, we're we're called to do the same. ⁓ where they showed perseverance, where they showed compassion, ⁓ we're we're called to do the same. And so we're challenged to cultivate those same virtues, those same good virtues that they had in their lives, that we pass that on to our children and their children. So the challenge or the calling out is, you know, really to leave the next generation bepare better prepared. ultimately to know God. So maybe your parents did or did not. In my case, my mom did, my dad did not. but I am called, we are called to be well prepared, to to know God, to walk faithfully with him, and to live with an enduring hope. And ⁓ in so, ⁓ we extend the we have received from our earthly parents and become part of God's work and part of his story. from one generation to the next. So in my case, ⁓ know, I I said that we honor ⁓ Elfie and Joe, my my my mom and dad, not only by remembering their lives, but living lives that bless those who come after us. In this way their legacy ⁓ lives on not merely in our memories but in our character, our faith in the lives that we help shape for God's glory. So that is a Testimony of a storm that I've been walking through the last few years with my parents. God's message to me is you know, getting through that storm is to, you know, remember the good things, you know, grace to where there was hurt and wounds. because we know that when we give grace or ⁓ you know, we extend that grace to another. It doesn't erase the memory, but it's frees them frees us from the burden ⁓ you know being tied into, you know, that struggle or that pain. And then, you know, ultimately that, you know, there is a greater hope, you know, one day for those that believe in Jesus that will have eternal life together. So appreciate you letting me share my little testimony this this afternoon. ⁓ And if you want to know a little bit more about be the bison, go to Venture in philanthropy dot com forward slash be the bison or you can listen to this pop podcast on on the the typical platforms and just go search ⁓ be the bison and you can listen to this one and others. Thanks. Have a blessed day.