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How Can I Set Loving Boundaries When Family Keeps Asking for Help? · Becoming Financially Confident

• 0:37
  Have
• 0:37
  you
• 0:37
  ever
• 0:38
  seen
• 0:38
  a
• 0:38
  family
• 0:38
  member's
• 0:39
  name
• 0:39
  pop
• 0:39
  up
• 0:39
  on
• 0:39
  your
• 0:40
  phone
• 0:40
  and
• 0:40
  instantly
• 0:41
  your
• 0:41
  stomach
• 0:41
  just
• 0:42
  tighten?
• 0:43
  You
• 0:43
  already
• 0:43
  know
• 0:44
  what
• 0:44
  the
• 0:44
  conversation's
• 0:45
  about.
• 0:45
  They
• 0:46
  need
• 0:46
  help
• 0:47
  again.
• 0:49
  And
• 0:49
  honestly,
• 0:50
  you
• 0:50
  feel
• 0:50
  split
• 0:50
  in
• 0:51
  half.
• 0:52
  Part
• 0:52
  of
• 0:52
  you
• 0:52
  wants
• 0:53
  to
• 0:53
  be
• 0:53
  generous,
• 0:54
  but
• 0:55
  part
• 0:55
  of
• 0:55
  you
• 0:55
  is
• 0:55
  thinking,
• 0:56
  I
• 0:56
  don't
• 0:56
  know
• 0:56
  if
• 0:57
  we
• 0:57
  can
• 0:57
  survive
• 0:57
  this.
• 0:59
  And
• 0:59
  then
• 0:59
  the
• 0:59
  guilt
• 1:00
  shows
• 1:00
  up.
• 1:01
  You
• 1:02
  think
• 1:02
  to
• 1:02
  yourself,
• 1:02
  if
• 1:02
  I
• 1:03
  say
• 1:03
  yes,
• 1:04
  I
• 1:04
  feel
• 1:04
  anxious,
• 1:06
  and
• 1:06
  if
• 1:06
  I
• 1:07
  say
• 1:07
  no,
• 1:08
  I
• 1:08
  feel
• 1:08
  ashamed.
• 1:10
  So
• 1:10
  on
• 1:10
  today's
• 1:11
  show,
• 1:11
  we're
• 1:11
  going
• 1:11
  to
• 1:11
  talk
• 1:11
  about
• 1:12
  how
• 1:12
  to
• 1:12
  set
• 1:12
  a
• 1:12
  boundary
• 1:13
  that
• 1:13
  is
• 1:13
  loving,
• 1:14
  biblical,
• 1:15
  and,
• 1:15
  yes,
• 1:16
  financially
• 1:17
  responsible
• 1:19
  without
• 1:19
  wrecking
• 1:19
  your
• 1:20
  own
• 1:20
  peace.
• 1:20
  Going
• 1:21
  to
• 1:21
  be
• 1:21
  a
• 1:21
  great
• 1:21
  show
• 1:21
  today.
• 1:44
  Hello,
• 1:44
  friend.
• 1:45
  Ralph
• 1:45
  Estep
• 1:45
  Jr.
• 1:46
  Here.
• 1:46
  Welcome
• 1:47
  to
• 1:47
  financially
• 1:48
  confident
• 1:48
  Christian,
• 1:49
  where
• 1:49
  every
• 1:50
  day
• 1:50
  we
• 1:50
  work
• 1:50
  to
• 1:50
  break
• 1:50
  the
• 1:51
  cycle
• 1:51
  of
• 1:51
  financial
• 1:52
  shame
• 1:52
  and
• 1:53
  live
• 1:53
  in
• 1:53
  confidence.
• 1:55
  And
• 1:55
  today
• 1:55
  we're
• 1:55
  talking
• 1:56
  about
• 1:56
  something
• 1:56
  that's
• 1:56
  hard
• 1:57
  to
• 1:57
  talk
• 1:57
  about
• 1:58
  and
• 1:58
  that's
• 1:59
  setting
• 1:59
  loving
• 2:00
  financial
• 2:00
  boundaries
• 2:01
  with
• 2:01
  family.
• 2:02
  Let's
• 2:02
  get
• 2:02
  right
• 2:03
  to
• 2:03
  today's
• 2:03
  listener
• 2:03
  question.
• 2:05
  Listener
• 2:06
  writes
• 2:06
  this.
• 2:06
  Ralph,
• 2:07
  a
• 2:08
  family
• 2:08
  member
• 2:08
  keeps
• 2:08
  asking
• 2:09
  for
• 2:09
  financial
• 2:10
  help.
• 2:11
  And
• 2:11
  honestly,
• 2:12
  I
• 2:12
  feel
• 2:12
  completely
• 2:13
  torn.
• 2:14
  I
• 2:14
  want
• 2:14
  to
• 2:14
  be
• 2:14
  generous
• 2:15
  and
• 2:15
  I
• 2:15
  want
• 2:15
  to
• 2:15
  be
• 2:15
  supportive,
• 2:17
  but
• 2:17
  I'm
• 2:17
  genuinely
• 2:18
  scared
• 2:18
  it's
• 2:19
  going
• 2:19
  to
• 2:19
  sink
• 2:19
  my
• 2:19
  own
• 2:20
  household.
• 2:21
  I
• 2:21
  feel
• 2:21
  guilty
• 2:22
  every
• 2:22
  time
• 2:22
  I
• 2:22
  think
• 2:23
  about
• 2:23
  saying
• 2:23
  no.
• 2:25
  How
• 2:25
  do
• 2:25
  I
• 2:25
  set
• 2:25
  a
• 2:25
  boundary
• 2:26
  that's
• 2:26
  loving
• 2:27
  and
• 2:27
  doesn't
• 2:27
  wreck
• 2:28
  me
• 2:28
  with
• 2:28
  guilt?
• 2:30
  I
• 2:30
  want
• 2:30
  to
• 2:30
  clean
• 2:30
  heart
• 2:30
  about
• 2:31
  this,
• 2:32
  but
• 2:32
  right
• 2:32
  now
• 2:33
  I
• 2:33
  just
• 2:33
  feel
• 2:34
  trapped
• 2:34
  between
• 2:34
  loyalty
• 2:35
  and
• 2:36
  survival.
• 2:39
  I
• 2:40
  say,
• 2:40
  raise
• 2:40
  your
• 2:40
  hand
• 2:40
  if
• 2:41
  you've
• 2:41
  ever
• 2:41
  been
• 2:41
  in
• 2:41
  this
• 2:41
  position.
• 2:43
  I've
• 2:43
  been
• 2:43
  in
• 2:43
  it
• 2:44
  a
• 2:44
  few
• 2:44
  times
• 2:44
  myself.
• 2:46
  It's
• 2:46
  not
• 2:46
  easy.
• 2:48
  And,
• 2:48
  you
• 2:48
  know,
• 2:49
  I
• 2:49
  went
• 2:49
  back
• 2:49
  to
• 2:50
  that
• 2:50
  thought
• 2:50
  of,
• 2:50
  I
• 2:51
  see
• 2:51
  their
• 2:51
  name
• 2:51
  pop
• 2:51
  up
• 2:52
  on
• 2:52
  my
• 2:52
  phone
• 2:52
  because
• 2:52
  nobody
• 2:52
  knows
• 2:53
  numbers
• 2:53
  anymore.
• 2:53
  We
• 2:54
  all
• 2:54
  see
• 2:54
  each
• 2:54
  other's
• 2:54
  names
• 2:55
  pop
• 2:55
  up,
• 2:55
  and
• 2:55
  we're
• 2:55
  like,
• 2:55
  oh,
• 2:56
  here
• 2:56
  we
• 2:56
  go
• 2:56
  again.
• 2:58
  So
• 2:58
  the
• 2:58
  big
• 2:59
  idea
• 2:59
  today
• 3:00
  is
• 3:00
  generosity
• 3:01
  without
• 3:02
  boundaries
• 3:02
  becomes
• 3:03
  resentment.
• 3:05
  We
• 3:05
  got
• 3:05
  to
• 3:05
  start
• 3:05
  there,
• 3:05
  because
• 3:06
  if
• 3:06
  you
• 3:06
  don't
• 3:06
  set
• 3:07
  boundaries,
• 3:08
  I
• 3:08
  work
• 3:08
  with
• 3:08
  a
• 3:09
  counselor.
• 3:09
  One
• 3:09
  time
• 3:09
  he
• 3:09
  said
• 3:10
  to
• 3:10
  me,
• 3:10
  he
• 3:10
  said,
• 3:10
  ralph,
• 3:10
  you
• 3:10
  know
• 3:10
  what
• 3:11
  your
• 3:11
  problem
• 3:11
  is?
• 3:11
  I
• 3:11
  had
• 3:12
  a
• 3:12
  lot
• 3:12
  of
• 3:12
  problems.
• 3:13
  First
• 3:13
  one
• 3:13
  was,
• 3:13
  ralph,
• 3:14
  learn
• 3:14
  how
• 3:14
  to
• 3:14
  set
• 3:14
  boundaries.
• 3:15
  Because
• 3:16
  when
• 3:16
  you
• 3:16
  don't
• 3:16
  set
• 3:17
  boundaries,
• 3:17
  you
• 3:18
  just
• 3:18
  live
• 3:18
  in
• 3:18
  this
• 3:18
  constant
• 3:19
  state
• 3:19
  of
• 3:19
  resentment.
• 3:20
  But
• 3:21
  let's
• 3:21
  talk
• 3:21
  practical
• 3:21
  how
• 3:22
  to
• 3:22
  do
• 3:22
  this.
• 3:23
  First
• 3:23
  thing
• 3:23
  you've
• 3:24
  got
• 3:24
  to
• 3:24
  do
• 3:24
  is
• 3:24
  you've
• 3:25
  got
• 3:25
  to
• 3:25
  clarify
• 3:25
  your
• 3:26
  household
• 3:26
  responsibilities
• 3:27
  first.
• 3:29
  Yes.
• 3:30
  You
• 3:30
  got
• 3:30
  to
• 3:30
  be
• 3:30
  a
• 3:31
  little
• 3:31
  selfish
• 3:31
  here
• 3:32
  because
• 3:33
  scripture
• 3:33
  is
• 3:33
  clear.
• 3:34
  If
• 3:34
  anybody
• 3:35
  says
• 3:35
  to
• 3:35
  you,
• 3:35
  ralph,
• 3:36
  wait
• 3:36
  a
• 3:36
  minute,
• 3:36
  go
• 3:37
  to
• 3:37
  scripture.
• 3:37
  You're
• 3:38
  responsible
• 3:39
  for
• 3:39
  your
• 3:39
  household
• 3:41
  first.
• 3:42
  That
• 3:43
  means
• 3:43
  you
• 3:43
  got
• 3:43
  to
• 3:43
  worry
• 3:43
  about
• 3:44
  your
• 3:44
  housing
• 3:45
  and
• 3:45
  your
• 3:46
  food
• 3:47
  and
• 3:47
  your
• 3:47
  bills
• 3:48
  and
• 3:49
  your
• 3:49
  Savings
• 3:49
  and
• 3:50
  yes,
• 3:50
  your
• 3:50
  stability.
• 3:52
  And
• 3:52
  if
• 3:53
  something,
• 3:53
  if
• 3:53
  helping
• 3:54
  someone
• 3:54
  else
• 3:55
  threatens
• 3:55
  your
• 3:55
  own
• 3:56
  foundation,
• 3:58
  that's
• 3:58
  not
• 3:58
  generosity,
• 4:00
  that's
• 4:00
  instability.
• 4:02
  And
• 4:03
  I
• 4:03
  found
• 4:03
  this
• 4:03
  quote,
• 4:03
  I
• 4:03
  thought
• 4:04
  this
• 4:04
  was
• 4:04
  perfect.
• 4:04
  You
• 4:05
  can't
• 4:05
  pour
• 4:05
  from
• 4:06
  an
• 4:06
  empty
• 4:06
  account.
• 4:08
  You
• 4:08
  ever
• 4:09
  have
• 4:09
  anybody
• 4:09
  over
• 4:09
  to
• 4:09
  dinner
• 4:10
  and
• 4:10
  you
• 4:10
  want
• 4:10
  to
• 4:10
  give
• 4:10
  everybody
• 4:11
  some
• 4:11
  water
• 4:11
  and
• 4:11
  you
• 4:11
  go
• 4:11
  to
• 4:11
  pour
• 4:12
  a
• 4:12
  glass
• 4:12
  of
• 4:12
  water,
• 4:12
  there's
• 4:12
  nothing
• 4:13
  left
• 4:13
  in
• 4:13
  the
• 4:13
  jar.
• 4:13
  Well,
• 4:14
  guess
• 4:14
  what,
• 4:14
  they're
• 4:15
  not
• 4:15
  getting
• 4:15
  any
• 4:15
  water.
• 4:16
  And
• 4:17
  if
• 4:17
  you
• 4:17
  don't
• 4:17
  have
• 4:17
  anything
• 4:18
  in
• 4:18
  your
• 4:18
  account,
• 4:18
  you
• 4:18
  can
• 4:19
  never
• 4:19
  help
• 4:19
  somebody
• 4:20
  else.
• 4:21
  But
• 4:22
  you're
• 4:22
  thinking,
• 4:22
  okay,
• 4:22
  Ralph,
• 4:23
  how
• 4:23
  do
• 4:23
  I
• 4:23
  do
• 4:23
  that?
• 4:23
  Here's
• 4:23
  one
• 4:23
  way
• 4:24
  you
• 4:24
  can
• 4:24
  do
• 4:24
  that.
• 4:24
  Decide
• 4:25
  in
• 4:25
  advance
• 4:26
  what
• 4:26
  you
• 4:26
  want
• 4:26
  to
• 4:27
  give,
• 4:27
  what
• 4:27
  you
• 4:27
  can
• 4:28
  give.
• 4:29
  Don't
• 4:29
  decide
• 4:30
  in
• 4:30
  the
• 4:30
  moment.
• 4:32
  I
• 4:32
  don't
• 4:32
  know
• 4:32
  about
• 4:32
  you,
• 4:32
  but
• 4:33
  emotions
• 4:33
  for
• 4:33
  me
• 4:34
  make
• 4:34
  bad
• 4:34
  financial
• 4:35
  policies.
• 4:36
  How
• 4:36
  many
• 4:37
  times
• 4:37
  have
• 4:37
  I
• 4:37
  been
• 4:37
  out
• 4:37
  somewhere
• 4:38
  and
• 4:38
  emotionally
• 4:39
  I
• 4:39
  was
• 4:39
  feeling
• 4:39
  down.
• 4:39
  Hey,
• 4:40
  I
• 4:40
  had
• 4:40
  that
• 4:40
  this
• 4:40
  weekend.
• 4:41
  I
• 4:41
  was
• 4:42
  feeling
• 4:42
  kind
• 4:42
  of
• 4:42
  down,
• 4:42
  was
• 4:43
  having
• 4:43
  some
• 4:43
  situations
• 4:44
  at
• 4:44
  home.
• 4:44
  And
• 4:45
  I
• 4:45
  got
• 4:45
  online
• 4:46
  and
• 4:46
  started
• 4:47
  to
• 4:47
  spend
• 4:47
  a
• 4:47
  little
• 4:47
  bit
• 4:48
  and
• 4:48
  I
• 4:48
  thought
• 4:48
  to
• 4:48
  myself,
• 4:48
  wait
• 4:49
  a
• 4:49
  minute,
• 4:50
  my
• 4:50
  emotions
• 4:51
  are
• 4:51
  making
• 4:51
  bad
• 4:52
  financial
• 4:52
  decisions?
• 4:52
  What
• 4:53
  works
• 4:53
  the
• 4:53
  same
• 4:53
  way
• 4:53
  in
• 4:54
  this
• 4:54
  regard?
• 4:55
  So
• 4:55
  maybe
• 4:56
  every
• 4:56
  year
• 4:56
  you
• 4:56
  set
• 4:57
  a
• 4:57
  dollar
• 4:57
  amount
• 4:57
  you
• 4:58
  can
• 4:58
  give.
• 4:58
  This
• 4:58
  year.
• 4:58
  Now
• 4:58
  you
• 4:59
  notice
• 4:59
  I
• 4:59
  use
• 4:59
  the
• 4:59
  word
• 5:00
  give.
• 5:01
  I'm
• 5:01
  not
• 5:01
  one
• 5:02
  of
• 5:02
  those
• 5:02
  people
• 5:02
  that
• 5:02
  thinks
• 5:02
  you
• 5:03
  should
• 5:03
  loan
• 5:03
  to
• 5:03
  friends
• 5:04
  or
• 5:04
  family
• 5:04
  members.
• 5:06
  Maybe
• 5:06
  you
• 5:06
  create
• 5:06
  a
• 5:06
  rule,
• 5:07
  we
• 5:07
  only
• 5:07
  give
• 5:07
  once
• 5:07
  per
• 5:08
  year.
• 5:08
  Hey,
• 5:08
  good
• 5:08
  luck.
• 5:09
  Here's
• 5:09
  your
• 5:09
  choice.
• 5:10
  You
• 5:10
  got
• 5:10
  this
• 5:10
  choice.
• 5:11
  Maybe
• 5:12
  you
• 5:12
  say
• 5:12
  you
• 5:12
  don't
• 5:12
  loan
• 5:12
  money.
• 5:13
  I
• 5:13
  tell
• 5:13
  you
• 5:13
  what,
• 5:13
  that's
• 5:13
  my
• 5:13
  personal
• 5:14
  mantra.
• 5:14
  I
• 5:14
  don't
• 5:15
  loan
• 5:15
  money
• 5:15
  to
• 5:16
  anyone.
• 5:17
  We
• 5:17
  only
• 5:18
  give
• 5:18
  what
• 5:18
  we
• 5:18
  can
• 5:18
  afford
• 5:19
  to
• 5:19
  lose.
• 5:21
  And
• 5:21
  when
• 5:21
  you
• 5:22
  pre
• 5:22
  decide
• 5:22
  that
• 5:23
  boundary,
• 5:24
  you're
• 5:24
  not
• 5:24
  rejecting
• 5:25
  them,
• 5:26
  you're
• 5:26
  honoring
• 5:27
  your
• 5:27
  policy.
• 5:27
  You're
• 5:28
  worried
• 5:28
  about
• 5:28
  yourself
• 5:29
  first
• 5:30
  because
• 5:30
  maybe
• 5:31
  they're
• 5:31
  going
• 5:31
  to
• 5:31
  need
• 5:31
  help
• 5:32
  down
• 5:32
  the
• 5:32
  road.
• 5:32
  Well,
• 5:32
  you
• 5:32
  can't
• 5:32
  help
• 5:33
  them
• 5:33
  if
• 5:33
  you're
• 5:33
  broke
• 5:33
  yourself.
• 5:35
  But
• 5:35
  you've
• 5:35
  also
• 5:36
  got
• 5:36
  to
• 5:36
  separate
• 5:37
  help
• 5:37
  from
• 5:37
  rescue.
• 5:38
  There's
• 5:39
  a
• 5:39
  huge
• 5:39
  difference.
• 5:40
  A
• 5:40
  lot
• 5:40
  of
• 5:40
  people
• 5:40
  don't
• 5:41
  understand
• 5:41
  this
• 5:41
  nuanced
• 5:42
  difference,
• 5:42
  but
• 5:42
  it's
• 5:43
  different.
• 5:43
  Help
• 5:44
  supports
• 5:44
  effort.
• 5:46
  When
• 5:46
  somebody's
• 5:47
  helping
• 5:47
  themself,
• 5:49
  that
• 5:49
  help
• 5:50
  is
• 5:50
  something
• 5:50
  that's
• 5:51
  supporting
• 5:51
  an
• 5:51
  effort.
• 5:51
  They're
• 5:51
  doing
• 5:52
  rescue.
• 5:53
  That
• 5:53
  just
• 5:54
  removes
• 5:54
  the
• 5:54
  responsibility.
• 5:56
  You
• 5:56
  see
• 5:56
  the
• 5:56
  difference
• 5:57
  there?
• 5:57
  It's
• 5:57
  nuanced,
• 5:58
  but
• 5:58
  there's
• 5:58
  a
• 5:58
  difference.
• 6:00
  Help
• 6:00
  supports
• 6:00
  the
• 6:01
  effort.
• 6:01
  Rescue
• 6:02
  removes
• 6:03
  that
• 6:03
  responsibility.
• 6:03
  Ask
• 6:03
  yourself
• 6:04
  this,
• 6:05
  this
• 6:06
  person
• 6:06
  reaching
• 6:06
  out
• 6:07
  to
• 6:07
  you,
• 6:07
  is
• 6:08
  this
• 6:08
  a
• 6:08
  temporary
• 6:09
  hardship
• 6:10
  or
• 6:11
  is
• 6:11
  it
• 6:11
  a
• 6:11
  repeated
• 6:12
  crisis?
• 6:13
  How
• 6:14
  many
• 6:14
  times
• 6:14
  have
• 6:14
  you,
• 6:15
  like
• 6:15
  I
• 6:15
  said
• 6:15
  the
• 6:15
  beginning,
• 6:16
  you
• 6:16
  see
• 6:16
  that
• 6:16
  name
• 6:16
  come
• 6:16
  up.
• 6:17
  This
• 6:17
  isn't
• 6:17
  a
• 6:18
  one
• 6:18
  time
• 6:18
  thing.
• 6:18
  This
• 6:18
  Isn't
• 6:19
  a
• 6:19
  one
• 6:19
  off,
• 6:19
  as
• 6:20
  they
• 6:20
  say.
• 6:21
  This
• 6:21
  is
• 6:21
  every
• 6:21
  month
• 6:22
  or
• 6:22
  every
• 6:22
  couple
• 6:22
  months.
• 6:24
  Because
• 6:24
  sometimes
• 6:25
  the
• 6:25
  most
• 6:25
  loving
• 6:25
  thing
• 6:26
  that
• 6:26
  you
• 6:26
  can
• 6:26
  do
• 6:26
  is
• 6:27
  not
• 6:27
  fund
• 6:28
  a
• 6:28
  pattern.
• 6:30
  Counselors
• 6:31
  talk
• 6:31
  about
• 6:31
  enabling.
• 6:33
  If
• 6:33
  you
• 6:33
  love
• 6:34
  somebody,
• 6:34
  you
• 6:34
  don't
• 6:35
  enable
• 6:35
  them.
• 6:36
  If
• 6:36
  this
• 6:37
  person's
• 6:37
  constantly
• 6:38
  making
• 6:38
  bad
• 6:38
  financial
• 6:39
  decisions,
• 6:39
  it's
• 6:40
  putting
• 6:40
  them
• 6:40
  here,
• 6:40
  you
• 6:41
  helping
• 6:41
  them.
• 6:42
  You're
• 6:42
  not
• 6:42
  helping
• 6:42
  them,
• 6:43
  you're
• 6:43
  enabling
• 6:43
  them.
• 6:44
  You're
• 6:44
  not
• 6:44
  making
• 6:45
  them
• 6:45
  make
• 6:45
  those
• 6:45
  difficult
• 6:46
  decisions.
• 6:47
  One
• 6:48
  of
• 6:48
  the
• 6:48
  other
• 6:48
  things
• 6:48
  I'm
• 6:48
  going
• 6:48
  to
• 6:48
  encourage
• 6:49
  you
• 6:49
  to
• 6:49
  do
• 6:49
  is
• 6:49
  use
• 6:50
  calm,
• 6:50
  clear
• 6:51
  language.
• 6:52
  And,
• 6:52
  you
• 6:53
  know,
• 6:53
  if
• 6:53
  you
• 6:53
  have
• 6:53
  to
• 6:53
  script
• 6:54
  this
• 6:54
  out
• 6:54
  ahead
• 6:54
  of
• 6:54
  time,
• 6:54
  that's
• 6:55
  okay.
• 6:56
  This
• 6:56
  is
• 6:56
  a
• 6:56
  skill
• 6:57
  you're
• 6:57
  going
• 6:57
  to
• 6:57
  have
• 6:57
  to
• 6:57
  learn
• 6:58
  because
• 6:58
  maybe
• 6:58
  you've
• 6:58
  been
• 6:59
  a
• 7:00
  wet
• 7:00
  carpet,
• 7:00
  you've
• 7:01
  been
• 7:01
  a
• 7:01
  walking
• 7:01
  mat
• 7:01
  for
• 7:02
  so
• 7:02
  many
• 7:02
  people
• 7:02
  your
• 7:02
  entire.
• 7:03
  You
• 7:03
  might
• 7:03
  be
• 7:03
  saying,
• 7:03
  like,
• 7:03
  ralph,
• 7:04
  I'm
• 7:04
  helping
• 7:04
  everybody
• 7:05
  out,
• 7:05
  but
• 7:05
  I
• 7:05
  can't
• 7:05
  help
• 7:05
  myself.
• 7:06
  I
• 7:06
  can't
• 7:06
  save.
• 7:07
  I
• 7:07
  had
• 7:07
  a
• 7:07
  lady
• 7:07
  in
• 7:07
  not
• 7:08
  too
• 7:08
  long
• 7:08
  ago,
• 7:08
  was
• 7:08
  trying
• 7:09
  to
• 7:09
  save
• 7:09
  for
• 7:09
  retirement,
• 7:10
  but
• 7:11
  she
• 7:11
  was
• 7:11
  helping
• 7:11
  this
• 7:12
  son
• 7:12
  and
• 7:12
  this
• 7:12
  daughter,
• 7:13
  and
• 7:13
  she
• 7:13
  wasn't
• 7:13
  able
• 7:14
  to
• 7:14
  do
• 7:14
  anything
• 7:14
  for
• 7:14
  herself.
• 7:16
  It's
• 7:16
  okay
• 7:17
  to
• 7:17
  say
• 7:17
  we
• 7:17
  love
• 7:17
  you,
• 7:18
  but
• 7:18
  we
• 7:18
  can't
• 7:18
  financially
• 7:19
  support
• 7:19
  this
• 7:19
  right
• 7:20
  now.
• 7:21
  If
• 7:22
  they
• 7:22
  don't
• 7:22
  want
• 7:22
  to
• 7:22
  talk
• 7:23
  to
• 7:23
  you
• 7:23
  anymore,
• 7:23
  guess
• 7:23
  what?
• 7:23
  They
• 7:24
  didn't
• 7:24
  love
• 7:24
  you
• 7:24
  in
• 7:24
  the
• 7:24
  first
• 7:24
  place.
• 7:25
  They're
• 7:25
  not
• 7:25
  your
• 7:25
  friend.
• 7:27
  Maybe
• 7:28
  you
• 7:28
  say
• 7:28
  something.
• 7:28
  Look,
• 7:29
  we're
• 7:29
  committed
• 7:29
  right
• 7:29
  now
• 7:30
  to
• 7:30
  focus
• 7:30
  on
• 7:30
  stabilizing
• 7:31
  our
• 7:31
  own
• 7:31
  household
• 7:32
  this
• 7:32
  year.
• 7:34
  You
• 7:35
  see,
• 7:35
  Notice
• 7:35
  the
• 7:35
  two
• 7:35
  things
• 7:36
  I
• 7:36
  said
• 7:36
  there.
• 7:37
  Not
• 7:37
  anger,
• 7:38
  not
• 7:38
  how
• 7:38
  dare
• 7:39
  you
• 7:39
  ask
• 7:39
  me
• 7:39
  to
• 7:39
  borrow
• 7:40
  money.
• 7:40
  Not
• 7:41
  an
• 7:41
  apology.
• 7:42
  Don't
• 7:42
  ever
• 7:42
  apologize
• 7:43
  to
• 7:43
  somebody
• 7:44
  for
• 7:44
  not
• 7:44
  helping
• 7:44
  them
• 7:46
  if
• 7:46
  you
• 7:46
  can't.
• 7:46
  And
• 7:47
  don't
• 7:47
  over
• 7:47
  explain
• 7:48
  either.
• 7:50
  That
• 7:50
  clarity
• 7:50
  in
• 7:51
  that
• 7:52
  is
• 7:52
  actually
• 7:53
  kindness.
• 7:53
  I
• 7:54
  would
• 7:54
  love
• 7:54
  somebody
• 7:54
  to
• 7:54
  say
• 7:55
  to
• 7:55
  me,
• 7:55
  ralph,
• 7:55
  you
• 7:55
  know
• 7:55
  what?
• 7:56
  I
• 7:56
  know
• 7:56
  you
• 7:56
  asked
• 7:56
  for
• 7:57
  help,
• 7:57
  but
• 7:57
  I
• 7:57
  can't
• 7:57
  do
• 7:57
  it
• 7:57
  right
• 7:58
  now.
• 7:58
  Hey,
• 7:59
  at
• 7:59
  least
• 7:59
  I
• 7:59
  knew
• 7:59
  the
• 8:00
  answer.
• 8:01
  But
• 8:02
  now
• 8:02
  let's
• 8:02
  get
• 8:02
  back
• 8:02
  to
• 8:02
  the
• 8:03
  question.
• 8:03
  Because
• 8:03
  one
• 8:03
  of
• 8:03
  the
• 8:04
  things
• 8:04
  you
• 8:04
  mentioned
• 8:04
  in
• 8:04
  your
• 8:04
  question
• 8:05
  was
• 8:05
  guilt.
• 8:07
  And
• 8:07
  I
• 8:07
  feel
• 8:07
  that
• 8:07
  too
• 8:08
  sometimes.
• 8:09
  I've
• 8:10
  had
• 8:10
  family
• 8:10
  members
• 8:10
  reach
• 8:11
  out
• 8:11
  to
• 8:11
  me
• 8:11
  and
• 8:11
  I
• 8:11
  felt
• 8:12
  guilty
• 8:12
  about
• 8:12
  it.
• 8:12
  I
• 8:12
  was
• 8:12
  like,
• 8:12
  oh,
• 8:13
  this
• 8:13
  person's
• 8:13
  really
• 8:13
  struggling.
• 8:14
  I'm
• 8:14
  not.
• 8:15
  God
• 8:15
  has
• 8:15
  blessed
• 8:15
  me.
• 8:17
  One
• 8:17
  of
• 8:17
  the
• 8:17
  things
• 8:17
  that
• 8:18
  I
• 8:18
  think
• 8:18
  you
• 8:18
  can
• 8:18
  do
• 8:18
  is
• 8:18
  replace
• 8:19
  guilt
• 8:19
  with
• 8:19
  prayer.
• 8:21
  And
• 8:21
  I
• 8:21
  think
• 8:21
  the
• 8:22
  reason
• 8:22
  that
• 8:22
  guilt
• 8:22
  comes
• 8:23
  around
• 8:23
  is
• 8:23
  because
• 8:23
  so
• 8:24
  many
• 8:24
  of
• 8:24
  us
• 8:24
  confuse
• 8:24
  generosity
• 8:25
  with
• 8:25
  obedience.
• 8:28
  God
• 8:28
  doesn't
• 8:29
  call
• 8:29
  us
• 8:29
  to
• 8:29
  give
• 8:29
  under
• 8:30
  pressure.
• 8:30
  Hey,
• 8:30
  Scripture
• 8:31
  itself
• 8:31
  says
• 8:32
  God
• 8:32
  likes
• 8:32
  a
• 8:32
  cheerful
• 8:33
  giver,
• 8:35
  not
• 8:35
  an
• 8:36
  under
• 8:36
  pressure
• 8:36
  giver.
• 8:38
  He
• 8:38
  calls
• 8:39
  us
• 8:39
  to
• 8:39
  give
• 8:39
  from
• 8:40
  conviction.
• 8:42
  And
• 8:42
  you
• 8:42
  can
• 8:43
  pray
• 8:43
  for
• 8:43
  those
• 8:43
  things
• 8:44
  you
• 8:44
  can
• 8:44
  pray
• 8:44
  for
• 8:44
  the
• 8:44
  people
• 8:45
  that
• 8:45
  need
• 8:45
  help.
• 8:45
  Encourage
• 8:46
  them.
• 8:47
  Maybe
• 8:48
  you
• 8:48
  don't
• 8:48
  give
• 8:48
  them
• 8:48
  money.
• 8:48
  Help
• 8:49
  them
• 8:49
  look
• 8:49
  at
• 8:49
  their
• 8:49
  resources.
• 8:50
  Help
• 8:50
  them
• 8:50
  write
• 8:50
  a
• 8:50
  resume.
• 8:51
  Help
• 8:52
  them
• 8:52
  build
• 8:52
  a
• 8:52
  LinkedIn
• 8:53
  profile,
• 8:53
  whatever
• 8:53
  that
• 8:54
  looks
• 8:54
  like
• 8:54
  for
• 8:54
  you.
• 8:54
  Help
• 8:55
  them
• 8:55
  build
• 8:55
  some
• 8:55
  skills.
• 8:57
  But
• 8:57
  just
• 8:57
  remember
• 8:58
  this.
• 8:58
  In
• 8:58
  the
• 8:58
  end,
• 8:59
  you're
• 9:00
  not
• 9:00
  their
• 9:00
  provider.
• 9:02
  You're
• 9:02
  not
• 9:02
  their
• 9:03
  savior.
• 9:05
  That's
• 9:05
  God's
• 9:06
  job.
• 9:06
  And
• 9:06
  we
• 9:06
  got
• 9:06
  to
• 9:06
  give
• 9:06
  that
• 9:07
  to
• 9:07
  him.
• 9:09
  So
• 9:09
  I
• 9:09
  want
• 9:09
  to
• 9:10
  encourage
• 9:10
  you
• 9:10
  right
• 9:10
  now.
• 9:10
  Remember
• 9:11
  this.
• 9:11
  Boundaries,
• 9:12
  protect,
• 9:12
  love.
• 9:14
  So
• 9:14
  here's
• 9:15
  your
• 9:15
  win
• 9:15
  for
• 9:15
  today.
• 9:17
  I
• 9:17
  want
• 9:17
  you
• 9:17
  to
• 9:17
  write
• 9:18
  your
• 9:18
  financial
• 9:19
  family
• 9:19
  boundary,
• 9:20
  just
• 9:20
  one
• 9:20
  sentence.
• 9:22
  I
• 9:22
  encourage
• 9:22
  every
• 9:23
  listener
• 9:23
  and
• 9:23
  viewer
• 9:24
  to
• 9:24
  write
• 9:24
  this
• 9:24
  down.
• 9:25
  We
• 9:25
  will
• 9:25
  give
• 9:25
  up
• 9:25
  to
• 9:26
  X
• 9:26
  number
• 9:26
  of
• 9:27
  dollars
• 9:27
  per
• 9:27
  year.
• 9:28
  Or
• 9:29
  maybe
• 9:29
  you
• 9:29
  just
• 9:29
  make
• 9:29
  a
• 9:30
  bold
• 9:30
  statement.
• 9:30
  We
• 9:31
  don't
• 9:31
  loan
• 9:31
  money.
• 9:33
  Put
• 9:33
  it
• 9:33
  in
• 9:33
  writing.
• 9:34
  Put
• 9:34
  it
• 9:35
  where
• 9:35
  you'll
• 9:35
  see
• 9:35
  it.
• 9:36
  Because
• 9:37
  that
• 9:37
  clarity
• 9:37
  will
• 9:38
  create
• 9:38
  peace
• 9:38
  in
• 9:38
  your
• 9:38
  life.
• 9:40
  Let's
• 9:40
  get
• 9:40
  right
• 9:41
  to
• 9:41
  today's
• 9:41
  Bible
• 9:41
  verse
• 9:42
  comes
• 9:42
  to
• 9:42
  us
• 9:42
  from
• 9:42
  Second
• 9:43
  Corinthians,
• 9:43
  chapter
• 9:44
  9,
• 9:44
  verse
• 9:44
  7.
• 9:46
  It
• 9:46
  says
• 9:46
  each
• 9:47
  of
• 9:47
  you
• 9:47
  should
• 9:47
  give
• 9:47
  what
• 9:48
  you
• 9:48
  have
• 9:48
  decided
• 9:48
  in
• 9:49
  your
• 9:49
  heart
• 9:49
  to
• 9:49
  give,
• 9:50
  not
• 9:51
  reluctantly
• 9:51
  or
• 9:52
  under
• 9:52
  compulsion.
• 9:53
  For
• 9:54
  God
• 9:54
  loves
• 9:54
  a
• 9:54
  cheerful
• 9:55
  giver,
• 9:56
  right?
• 9:56
  There
• 9:56
  it
• 9:57
  is.
• 9:58
  See,
• 9:59
  God
• 9:59
  honors
• 10:00
  generosity
• 10:00
  that
• 10:01
  flows
• 10:01
  from
• 10:01
  conviction
• 10:02
  and
• 10:02
  peace,
• 10:04
  not
• 10:04
  from
• 10:04
  pressure
• 10:05
  and
• 10:05
  guilt.
• 10:06
  It
• 10:06
  would
• 10:06
  be
• 10:06
  real
• 10:07
  easy
• 10:07
  for
• 10:07
  God
• 10:07
  to
• 10:07
  say,
• 10:08
  you
• 10:08
  better
• 10:08
  give
• 10:08
  me
• 10:08
  your
• 10:08
  money.
• 10:09
  You
• 10:09
  better
• 10:10
  do
• 10:10
  it.
• 10:11
  But
• 10:11
  you
• 10:12
  don't
• 10:12
  hear
• 10:12
  God
• 10:12
  saying
• 10:12
  that.
• 10:13
  The
• 10:13
  Lord
• 10:13
  says
• 10:13
  each
• 10:14
  of
• 10:14
  you
• 10:14
  should
• 10:14
  give
• 10:14
  what
• 10:15
  you've
• 10:15
  decided
• 10:15
  in
• 10:16
  your
• 10:16
  heart
• 10:17
  to
• 10:17
  give.
• 10:19
  We
• 10:19
  got
• 10:19
  to
• 10:19
  look
• 10:19
  at
• 10:20
  this
• 10:20
  the
• 10:20
  same
• 10:20
  way.
• 10:20
  Not
• 10:20
  reluctantly,
• 10:21
  not
• 10:21
  under
• 10:21
  compulsion.
• 10:23
  Let's
• 10:24
  pray
• 10:24
  together,
• 10:26
  Lord,
• 10:26
  right
• 10:26
  now
• 10:28
  you
• 10:28
  see
• 10:28
  how
• 10:28
  torn
• 10:29
  my
• 10:29
  friend
• 10:29
  feels?
• 10:31
  Yes,
• 10:32
  they
• 10:32
  want
• 10:32
  to
• 10:32
  love
• 10:32
  well.
• 10:34
  They
• 10:34
  want
• 10:34
  to
• 10:34
  help.
• 10:36
  But
• 10:36
  they're
• 10:37
  afraid
• 10:37
  of
• 10:37
  damaging
• 10:37
  their
• 10:38
  own
• 10:38
  home
• 10:38
  and
• 10:38
  their
• 10:39
  own
• 10:39
  peace.
• 10:40
  So
• 10:41
  give
• 10:41
  them
• 10:41
  wisdom
• 10:41
  to
• 10:42
  set
• 10:42
  these
• 10:42
  healthy
• 10:42
  boundaries
• 10:43
  we
• 10:43
  talked
• 10:43
  about
• 10:44
  today.
• 10:45
  Give
• 10:45
  them
• 10:45
  courage
• 10:46
  to
• 10:46
  speak
• 10:46
  clearly,
• 10:47
  Lord,
• 10:48
  and
• 10:49
  just
• 10:49
  wipe
• 10:49
  away
• 10:49
  and
• 10:50
  remove
• 10:50
  that
• 10:50
  false
• 10:51
  guilt
• 10:51
  that
• 10:51
  doesn't
• 10:51
  come
• 10:52
  from
• 10:52
  you.
• 10:54
  Protect
• 10:54
  their
• 10:54
  household,
• 10:56
  protect
• 10:56
  their
• 10:56
  relationships
• 10:58
  and
• 10:59
  help
• 10:59
  give
• 10:59
  them
• 10:59
  peace,
• 11:00
  not
• 11:00
  pressure
• 11:00
  in
• 11:00
  this
• 11:01
  time.
• 11:02
  And
• 11:02
  we
• 11:02
  ask
• 11:02
  this
• 11:03
  in
• 11:03
  Jesus
• 11:03
  name.
• 11:05
  Amen.
• 11:07
  Friend.
• 11:08
  I
• 11:08
  want
• 11:08
  to
• 11:08
  assure
• 11:08
  you
• 11:09
  of
• 11:09
  something.
• 11:10
  You
• 11:10
  can
• 11:11
  be
• 11:11
  generous
• 11:11
  and
• 11:12
  wise
• 11:12
  at
• 11:12
  the
• 11:12
  same
• 11:13
  time.
• 11:14
  You
• 11:14
  truly
• 11:15
  can.
• 11:16
  And
• 11:16
  if
• 11:16
  you've
• 11:17
  ever
• 11:17
  encountered
• 11:17
  a
• 11:18
  situation
• 11:18
  like
• 11:18
  that,
• 11:18
  you're
• 11:19
  like
• 11:19
  Ralph,
• 11:19
  hey,
• 11:19
  I've
• 11:19
  been
• 11:19
  here,
• 11:20
  I've
• 11:20
  done
• 11:20
  this.
• 11:21
  I
• 11:21
  got
• 11:21
  a
• 11:21
  great
• 11:21
  way
• 11:21
  or
• 11:22
  a
• 11:22
  great
• 11:22
  story
• 11:22
  I
• 11:22
  could
• 11:23
  share.
• 11:23
  Maybe
• 11:23
  you've
• 11:23
  got
• 11:23
  a
• 11:23
  question
• 11:24
  of
• 11:24
  your
• 11:24
  own.
• 11:25
  I
• 11:25
  would
• 11:25
  love
• 11:25
  to
• 11:26
  hear
• 11:26
  your
• 11:26
  voice.
• 11:27
  You
• 11:27
  can
• 11:27
  go
• 11:27
  to
• 11:28
  financiallyconfidentchristian.com/voicemail.
• 11:32
  You
• 11:32
  could
• 11:32
  be
• 11:32
  a
• 11:32
  part
• 11:32
  of
• 11:32
  the
• 11:33
  show.
• 11:33
  We'll
• 11:34
  put
• 11:34
  a
• 11:34
  link
• 11:34
  in
• 11:34
  the
• 11:34
  show
• 11:34
  notes
• 11:35
  but
• 11:35
  again,
• 11:35
  it's
• 11:35
  financiallyconfidentchristian.com/voicemail
• 11:39
  and
• 11:40
  it's
• 11:40
  super
• 11:40
  easy
• 11:40
  to
• 11:41
  go.
• 11:41
  There
• 11:41
  is
• 11:42
  click
• 11:42
  a
• 11:42
  button
• 11:42
  that
• 11:42
  says
• 11:42
  record.
• 11:44
  I
• 11:44
  would
• 11:44
  love
• 11:44
  to
• 11:44
  hear
• 11:45
  from
• 11:45
  you.
• 11:46
  Well,
• 11:46
  thank
• 11:46
  you
• 11:46
  so
• 11:47
  much
• 11:47
  for
• 11:47
  joining
• 11:47
  me
• 11:47
  today.
• 11:48
  As
• 11:48
  I
• 11:48
  always
• 11:48
  say,
• 11:49
  stay
• 11:49
  financially
• 11:50
  savvy,
• 11:51
  protect
• 11:51
  your
• 11:52
  boundaries
• 11:52
  out
• 11:52
  of
• 11:52
  love.
• 11:53
  May
• 11:54
  God
• 11:54
  bless
• 11:54
  you.
• 11:55
  And
• 11:55
  you
• 11:55
  have
• 11:55
  a
• 11:56
  truly
• 11:56
  great
• 11:56
  day
• 11:56
  today.