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From Jailhouse To Jesus: Jessica is Unashamed · Unashamed Table Talk

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_03: All right, y'all.
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_03: Welcome back to Unashamed.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_03: We are so excited today because we actually have a guest.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_03: I don't have to just talk to BJ today.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_02: That's so rude.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_03: And y'all don't have to just listen to BJ and I today.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_03: We have Jessica Beasley with us today.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_03: Jessica, thank you so much for joining us.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_01: It's a pleasure to be here.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_03: Hey, where are you from?
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_01: I am from a little town in South Carolina called Hartsville.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_01: I love it.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_02: So welcome to Unashamed Table Talk.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, well, we're just gonna dive in.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_02: You I asked you uh just a minute ago what your kind of favorite verse is and what you cling to, and you said Psalm 18, 2.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna read that.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_02: It says, The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my savior.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_02: My God is my rock in whom I find protection.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_02: He is my shield, the power that saves me and my place of safety.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_02: Why is that your go-to verse?
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you know, in scripture here, David, he's so personal with the Lord, you know, and I think that's so important in our walk with the Lord.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we have to be personal with him.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: Because David, a lot of time, he uses my rock, my fortress, my deliverer.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_01: He's so personal, and you know, that is so important.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's not just about you got to have that personal relationship with him.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: David is a perfect example here on how our relationship should be with the Lord.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_02: So let's back up a little bit.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_02: You grew up kind of assuming or acting like you were a Christian or would have claimed that you were a Christian, but oops, you weren't.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_02: Take us kind of back and share a little bit about your childhood, your upbringing, and really your journey of what brought you to this podcast today.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, being raised in a home that I mean, I was loved unconditionally by my parents, but they did, they worked a lot.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: So, of course, I was my grandparents, her her mom and dad kept me a lot.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: And but the most important thing about that were they were Christians.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_01: So I was raised up in the church.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_01: I knew right from wrong.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_01: I can even remember as maybe at the age of 10, 11, you know, going and saying a prayer and you know, thinking I got baptized, I got all this stuff, and but I just didn't have that personal relationship.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_01: But I continued in youth groups, I mean, I went on mission trips, we would go into nursing homes and do musical performances, and you know, I had just, I mean, a wonderful childhood.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: But then about the age of 16, my grandfather, my dad's dad, I actually found him after having a stroke.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: And it was like that's when everything kind of started spiraling in my life, you know.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it took me to a really deep, dark place at the age of 16.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I started drinking and hanging out with the wrong crowd of friends, substituting something for trying to help me heal, you know, and in my eyes, that's what I was doing.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, I'm just healing from my grandfather's death.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna get through this, and you know, but then of course, you know, drinking turns into other things.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_01: And so by the age of 17, I was using cocaine and dabbling in some other things.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_01: And then at the age of 21, I was pretty much a full-blown meth addict.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_01: And for nine and a half years I traveled that road.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, and in that nine and a half years, I even lost my dad, and that kind of kind of made things a little, you know, more.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: I I got even worse when my dad died.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_01: And then it was like, you know, that 2012 is when I'll back up just a little bit.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_01: In November 2011, me and my mom, she had come to me because I was the the addict that I thought I had it hid from everybody that I knew and nobody else knew, and you know, and so she had approached me about some paraphernalia she found at the house, and I was like, Well, it ain't mine, even though I live here, it's not mine.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_01: Lies, yeah, lies after lies.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, can't be mine.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, somebody must have been here.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_01: And but at that moment, I really snapped and I hit my mom.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_01: And so she called the law when the law came, but she ended up, she didn't press charges on me or anything.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: She just said, we got to get you some help.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_01: And so we started this process under the you know, the child safety service here in in our county, and they actually put the kids under a safety plan with my mom and them.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: And now, how old were you?
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: You were 16 or 17 at this time?
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, so this went from I was when all this happened, I was 29 at this point.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, at this point you're 29.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: So at this point I'm 29, yep.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_01: And so, and so when that happened in that November, actually it was 11-11 of 2011, is when all this happened with my mom.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: And then that February of 2012, my caseworker called me and she was like, I'm gonna need you go to take a drug test today.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Okay, fine, I'll go do it.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: But I sat in there in the mirror that morning and I was like, okay, God.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, I don't know what you're doing.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_01: I said, but I'm just gonna have to fix this myself.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_01: If you're not gonna fix me, I don't know how to do this.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: So I basically that morning, I made sure I wasn't I wasn't gonna pass a drug test, is what I did.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_01: And so I went, I did the drug test, and but before the drug test could get back, that very next morning, our local Darlington County Sheriff's Department showed up at my door and hauled me off to jail.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_01: Even though I had said, God, if you're not gonna fix this, I'm gonna fix it.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_01: I was mad at him when I got there.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so uh hold on, I'm kind of confused.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_02: Let me just follow this.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, what why if you were 29?
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_02: This is what confused me.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_02: If you're twenty if you were 29 when this happened, why are the children services or whatever involved?
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_02: Like what is that?
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_02: Because I and maybe it's different in Texas, so so feel so okay.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: My two children at the time, they did have different fathers.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_01: So I actually had custody of the children.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: So they had to go through the the child protective services to put the children under somebody that could take care of them, if that makes sense.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so this is a security plan.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm gonna do it.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_02: You had kids, and that's how because I'm thinking you you hit your mama and children protective services are in, and I'm like, but you're an adult.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_02: That's why I was like, you were 16 when this happened.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_02: So sorry.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, I've got to do it.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_02: You're a grown-up, you're a mom, and you're acting stupid.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_02: So child protective services come in to protect your kids, and they're the ones that want you to do the drug test.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, now then, so the drug test hasn't come back yet.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_02: Why did you get arrested?
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, so there was the that group of people I was hanging around with, they were doing some things.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_01: I knew in the back of my head, some things were going on, but a matter of fact, a couple days before the law came, I knew some things they were doing.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_01: So I had told them, I said, Don't come around my house.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not having no more company.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_01: Y'all can't come over, you know.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: And but they were actually sneaking in my backyard without even my mom was here.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_01: We had no knowledge that they were actually coming in our yard and they were actually making drugs in my backyard of manufacturing.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_01: And then, of course, when the drug tests come back, and they actually took my kids to be drug tested too.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_03: How long had this battle of addiction been going on when they came knocking on your door to take you to jail?
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_01: Nine and a half years.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_03: You're sitting there, I'm sure the Lord gets a hold of you there, things change.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_03: When did you come to to truly know the Lord?
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_03: Was it while you were in jail or was it is it after you got out?
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_01: So it was while I was there, probably about six or seven days after being there.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_01: Some of the ladies there, they were like, Oh, we have a group of ladies that come in and see us on Tuesday nights.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: Won't you come out and join us for Bible study?
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, No, I'm not.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, God's got me here.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not going out to no table to hear about him.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just being honest.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_01: I was upset, and my mom had to come to see me, and that's kind of where, you know, when she came in to see me, I was begging her because she always bailed me out.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_01: Always.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_01: When she came in to see me, she told me, she said, You'll have to figure your own way out this time.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_01: And so I was upset at the whole world then, because I knew that I was stuck.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_01: Finally gave in, and I went out to that table that night, and that night that they're they shared the gospel, something started changing at that table at that very instant that night.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_01: You know, the Bible talks about how, you know, even I always think about the the lady that just needed to touch the hem of his garment.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_01: And there was immediately she was healed.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: And it was like that immediately I had to surrender, that point of surrender in my in my life, that I had to say, God, I give it all to you.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want the take taste of math in my mouth anymore, just take it away from me.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_03: I want to get to the good stuff.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_03: I want to get to you get out of jail, you get home, and you're trying to do better.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_03: What does that look like for you?
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_03: What are people in the neighborhood saying?
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_03: What's people at the local church saying?
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_03: Family members.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_01: So when I got out, I I had to start the process with the children's, you know, the the protective services in order to take classes and everything to get my children back.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_01: It took some time, even a couple weeks, for besides my mom coming and letting me get clothes at the house, that she gave me my car back.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_01: Started making a a home for myself.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_02: Did you come out of jail saying I accepted Christ?
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_02: Like, give me that little snippet of that transformation and how that transformation was received.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_01: So when I got out, um, my mom and my dad, they were believers.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_01: I think it was really hard for my mom to grasp, you know, because it was hard for her to trust anything that I said.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_01: I guess I lied to her for so many years.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_01: So that was a process for her to um to trust me.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't mind telling anybody what had happened.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_01: Matter of fact, I went around and I would tell everybody what had happened.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_01: Of course, there was people that didn't believe me.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_01: Like you said, the the local people, it was like, you know, because they plastered me all over the news for for my bad stuff.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_01: I was on news outlets for weeks.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_01: How people missed a memo of that, I'll never know.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_01: But there are still some people that will say, You went to jail.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, I don't know how you missed that.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_01: But I did.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_01: My mom, she grasped it, and about probably a couple months, I can remember her calling me one day and she was like, Jessica, are you using again?
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, No, ma'am.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_01: She was like, Well, you just seem like you're a little all over the place.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_01: I said, Well, maybe you, maybe we should hang up and maybe you should be praying that the enemy will leave you alone because the enemy wants to upset you to not trust me.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_01: I'm doing the right things.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, and it was like after that, I didn't never have another problem again.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_01: You know, she was like, You're right, you know, she was like, I was letting the enemy make me worry about something that God had done changed you.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_01: And it was really hard for her at first, but she ended up, she she got it.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_01: And um, we've actually been kind of doing some things together lately, you know, because you talked about that tough love side, you know.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_01: I I think we have a story to share together.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_02: You know, when when we talk about tough love, I know I have some tough love stories with my own kids, and it was it was awful.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_02: And my son was full on drowning out in meth.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_02: And he started so simply, he had gone to buy a joint, and his dealer said, I don't have a joint, but I have some meth.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_02: You want that?
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_02: And it was cheaper than the joint, and so he said, sure.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_02: And that's how my son got hooked on meth.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_02: And so many, you know, many, many months later, he is fully strung out, and we had to really have tough love, and I could not let him in my house.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I let him in my house to shower and to eat if he was hungry, but he couldn't stay alone in my house.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_02: We had a younger daughter, and and he couldn't spend the night at my house because I couldn't trust him to be there.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_02: And so I would, I mean, literally, I remember one time a friend of mine called and said, it was like two in the morning, and they said, Hey, I just wanted to call and check on you.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_02: We saw your son sleeping in the What's your booth last night, and it was just it was devastating, you know.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_02: And there was one time I had to take him and we were leaving our house, and he had come over, and we didn't see him often for sure in this season, but we still kept, praise God, we kept communications with him as much as possible, and we had to take him away.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_02: We were leaving, and I had to take him somewhere and he had nowhere to go, and I ended up literally just leaving him like in a ditch.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, there was nothing around, and and I just, oh golly, I just cried.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_02: It was awful.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_02: It was so awful.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_02: But I knew he couldn't stay in our home at the same time.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_02: And I I hope, and and to this day, I hope that he always knows I always loved him, I was always there for him, but I also had to have a boundary where we couldn't allow the drugs in our home.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_02: And so, anyways, I'm just curious for your mom, what did that tough life, tough love look like on from her perspective, and how did you kind of, you know, accept that tough love?
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so let's go back to that night when I was in jail and she told me, you know, she's like, you know, I'm done.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_01: She was like, You'll have to figure this out on your own.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, What?
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you're gonna do this to me, you're gonna leave me here, I'm not gonna be with my kids.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_01: And she's like, Well, you should have thought about that.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I can remember some of her, she tells a because you know, still sometimes when you're coming out of being on addiction and stuff, there's something she don't remember very well, but she can remember that I was sitting there that night and she said the most thing I was upset about is that everybody knew my secret.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_01: And she was like, Well, what your secret's out now?
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_01: That's a good thing.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to worry about you don't have a secret no more.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_01: So why are you so upset?
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_01: You know, she's like, but I'm gonna leave you.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_01: Actually, matter of fact, her words to me were if the Lord tells me to get you out, I'll come get you out.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Oh boy, that's not dust.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, I'm here for I'm here for the long haul.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_01: Because I knew good well the Lord wasn't gonna tell her to come get me out of jail.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you didn't tell the Lord I'd just take care of it myself.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_01: I'll just take care of it.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like, whatever, kid.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, it was, but she had always told me growing up, you know, I know this is kind of silly, but she would say, you know, life's kind right.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_01: She said, My game is laid out just like Milton Bradley.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_01: She was like, you get two get out of jail free cards, and if you use them, I don't care whose fault it is.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_01: She said, Don't call me, I'm not coming to get you out.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, I my mom always bailed me out.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_01: So I was like, this is a joke.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_01: She is kidding about this.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_01: I know she'll come get me out.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_01: And that was far from the truth.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_01: She did not come get me out.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_01: Matter of fact, she was not who got me out.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_01: It was, you know, actually, matter of fact, at the jail, I said, Do y'all have a phone book?
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_01: Because I just started calling people I knew, because I I did want to see my children play their first ball game.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_01: I wanted to see all these things, and that's when it really came to I had to figure things out.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_01: And praise the Lord, I found Jesus while I was there.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_01: I had somebody that would truly listen to my heart, and you know, he knew my heart's desires, and that he knew that I really wanted to make a change, and not that that change was so instant when I got out of jail.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_01: I thought to myself, well, I can do legal things, I could probably still have an alcoholic drink, and that would be okay, right?
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_01: He showed me so quickly, no ma'am, when I clean you up, I clean you up, and there's no room for that, you know.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_01: And that was almost like when God showed me, I instantly, okay, God, you got it, you know.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_03: Now you share your story, you have a heart to help other people who have fallen into addiction, right?
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_03: You you I saw an interview that you had done uh about basically you said something along the lines of, well, everybody was had no problem talking about all the bad things I'd done.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_03: And so now you're in a place you're like, well, let's talk about the good things, let's talk about how God's changed me and how God's restored me.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_03: So, what has God done with your life since then?
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_03: You've got restoration, you've got three kids.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_03: I heard you speak to your husband before we got going on this podcast, so you're married.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_03: Tell us how God has blessed you since you have basically given your life over to him and given him that addiction.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so he's he's blessed me in so many ways.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_01: He blessed me with my wonderful husband, and he's he's a godly man, and not saying we went into everything correctly when you know we met and stuff, but I know God is blessed what he's joined together now, and that we're obedient to what he's called us to do, and he will bless that.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_01: We've been together 14 years now because I'd celebrated 14 years of sobriety this year.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_01: We're in ministry together.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_01: We go in the jail on Wednesday mornings.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_01: He goes over to the men's side, I go to the ladies' side.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_01: That's awesome.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_01: We do that ministry together.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_01: We go on mission trips to Nicaragua once a year and go over there and share our testimonies.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_01: I've been in gang-infested neighborhoods in the middle of the streets to share my testimony with gang members.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_01: And God gave me a story, and that's what I want to do.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_01: I want to share it, you know, and I can't be ashamed of it, right?
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_01: Unashamed no more.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_01: And that's where I'm at, you know.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_01: Uh for a long time, I can remember even starting to tell my story sometime, and I would leave out some bits and pieces of it.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_01: But over the years, God's allowed me to start talking about other bits and pieces of parts of my story that I might have said, maybe I shouldn't talk about that.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_01: But now I know He need He needs me to tell every bit of it.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_01: There can't be, you know, certain pieces I hold back because I can't be worried about what somebody might think about that I did that part.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_01: He loved me through it, and there's a reason he he he made me who I am today and to to get me through it.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_01: And so I can't not share a part of my story because I'm worried about what somebody might think of me now.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_03: If you're out there talking to gang members and you're out there going to the jails every week, you and your husband, I'm assuming that your children are aware of your past.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_03: They are.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_01: And my oldest child, you know, he has his own struggles now.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_01: You talked about, you know, your child, BJ, and you know, just the things that it's kind of like I'm on the other side now, but it's it it means a lot.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_01: And he'll say, Have I told you how proud I am of you lately?
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_01: Or, you know, it means a lot because he does remember because he went through a lot with me being aired on the news and stuff, and him only being like seven, eight years old.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_01: Children at school would pick at him, or you know, so he remembers a lot.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_01: You know, he faced a lot with that.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_01: My my middle one, he doesn't remember it that much.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_01: I don't hide anything from him, I tell him everything.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I think it's important that we're honest with our kids to know our background and that type of thing.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_03: It's because we don't want them to go through the same things we did.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_03: I think sometimes when we're honest about our past, it opens it up, hopefully, that they know that they can talk to us if they're struggling with something along those lines.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_02: I was just curious how long your how long did you go without your kids?
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_02: You may have said that, but I missed it.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_02: How long did you go without them?
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_02: Where were they at and and how long did it take you to get them back?
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_01: So when I got out, it was between my mom and actually their father stepped in and they, you know, helped some with them or whatever.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_01: And so my mom mostly had the the younger one at the time, and the oldest one, his dad was had, you know, he really stepped up and he helped.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_01: They didn't keep them from me, but it took about six months for me to be able to be with them by myself again and actually be able to, you know, go out and take them out to McDonald's or whatever, or take them to church with me.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_02: As it should.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_02: That's what I mean as well.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I just love this.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_02: I love I love seeing how God can take something so ugly and so gross and turn it into something so beautiful, and that you're willing to use this because a lot of people have stories like yours, like mine, like Denise's, and they never do anything.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_02: With it, and even though God's redeemed them, they don't always, you know, shout it out and tell about that.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_02: And I know, like, kind of like you, I know I I've been called to share my story, and I love to teach the Bible and I love to do all the things, but but I know the call of my life is to share my story, and I have to share that ugly, those ugly pieces, never because I want someone getting stuck in that, but just the opposite is I need you to see that what God has done to something so gross and despicable that if he can do that to me, then he can do that for you.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_02: And I love that you're willing to share the ugly pieces, the ugly places in your life, and and represent him today by sharing your testimony, by sharing God's word and what he's done.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_02: And I don't take that lightly because I know it's a big deal, and you know, as it's an honor to have you on our show.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_02: And noise.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like too that it's where we find complete freedom is when you can just put it out there and not care what people think anymore.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_03: Like we do care, all of us listening right now.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_03: We we all care what people think of us.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_03: But when you get to the point that you truly understand that God has redeemed you and forgiven you, I think it is so much easier just to be honest and share your junk.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_03: And yes, you don't want people talking about you, you want everybody to like you.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_03: But I say all the time, like, I want everybody to like me and accept me.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_03: But if they don't, I mean, sorry, this is just who I am, and all I know is I'm not the person I used to be, and I know that God has redeemed me, and I get to walk in freedom in that, and it's not gonna bind me up anymore.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_03: But what hearing what people have to say or people treating you differently, that used to be a thing that that would bind me up.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_03: I wouldn't want to be honest, I wouldn't want to talk about those things because I was worried about what people thought.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_03: And just like you mentioned early on, you were like, your mom said the thing you were worried about the most is everybody knew your secret.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_03: And so, yes, and from a Christian point of view, it's a good thing, right?
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_03: You got to take that that's in the darkness and put it in the light.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_03: But but when you're in the darkness, it's the last thing you want is for everybody to know your secrets, right?
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_03: I also wanted to hit real quick before we have to close out.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_03: I was noticing on here, you you said what is one of the most recent adventures in your life that was a childhood dream for you.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_01: Ah, so it's one of those things that so it was exciting for me.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_01: I had two years ago, I started the process of I had a childhood childhood dream of being on a game show.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_01: So I uh applied to be on the wheel of fortune, yeah.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_01: And so last June, June the fourth, matter of fact, my episode aired.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, I got to go and do a recording of the Wheel of Fortune, and the Lord blessed me with uh trip to Hawaii.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_01: I won the prize puzzle.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_01: So it was uh that was a childhood dream, and but God was in that too, you know.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_01: When we got there, we were there for seven days, and in those seven days, the earthquake happened in Russia, so which put us under a tsunami warning, which I'd never been a part of one of those before.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_01: So that was a new experience, which got us evacuated like eight miles up a mountain into a grocery store parking lot.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_01: Probably for a couple hours I sat there going worrying, going, God, you know, what I do, what'd I do?
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_01: But then it like hit me.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_01: I had a friend of mine made a post on Facebook and she said, pray for Jessica Beasley.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_01: She's in Hawaii, they're there, the tsunami warning.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_01: But can you imagine with Jessica's story and she's in a grocery store parking lot with all these people stuck for hours?
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm going, What am I doing?
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_01: So I got out the car and my husband was one way.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_01: I went another way.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_01: And so we started going and you know, handing out tracks and that's awesome, sharing the gospel.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, sharing the gospel.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_01: Who would imagine that a childhood dream would have turned into something so beautiful and being able to go out and just share what God's doing?
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I love that.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_03: I'm just sitting here thinking to take that situation where you're sitting in the parking lot and and think, oh my gosh, we've got an audience right here.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_03: They can't go anywhere.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_03: Let's share the gospel.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_03: What God wouldn't want you to do anything any differently than that right there.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_03: And then I have a question.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_03: I want to know, was it really a free trip to Hawaii?
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_03: Like, did you get all the things or do you have to pay something?
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, is it all that it seems to be?
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so they do take you in a little room when you're getting on and you have to sign those tax papers.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_01: That is true.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_01: But the prize package really included my seven nights.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_01: They actually gave me airfare and spending money within the prize package.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_01: So they really did pay for the trip and everything.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_02: So that's also an important question, is is what was the what was the puzzle?
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_02: What was your winning puzzle?
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_02: The perfect temperature.
• 27:35
  unknown: Yay!
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_02: Now you when we had talked before, you had shared that you had first got booked on a show, and there was, and I forget what you said, but there was something to do with alcohol or something, and you were like, I can't do that.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_02: So share that and just how I just love the boldness that you were like, here's my childhood dream to be on this show, but now I have to say no.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_01: They wanted me to be on the episodes Margarita view.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_01: And so I called them.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_01: I said, look here.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_01: I said, I was upset.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_01: I was upset, and I was like, I'm gonna have to turn this down.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_01: I said, because number one, I said, I'm a Christian.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_01: I said, and I've worked very hard on my testimony.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_01: I said, and I have a lot of people that look up to me.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_01: I said, and I can't be on no televised, out in public TV show that I'm gonna, I said, it'll look like I drink maritas.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_01: And they were like, you know what?
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_01: They were like, you, because of course they had to approve me from the beginning because of my past.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_01: I'd done been through a lot of legal stuff to even be on the show.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_01: And they were like, you know what, Jessica, you've done went through a lot of things to get to the point you're at.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_01: We wouldn't dare want to take this opportunity away from you.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_01: But they were like, we can change you to the next week, but we can't promise you what the prizes will be.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, Well, look, I can turn the prize down.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_01: I said, but this is on national TV.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like my plate, my face would be up there and it would say Margaritaville.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_01: So I was like, can't do it.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_01: And so, but it all worked, God worked it out.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_01: I think that was almost like, was he, was it a test?
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_01: He was what was I gonna do with that?
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_02: I can imagine.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, you know, it sounds like it sounds kind of silly, but to have this big deal, like I have a I have a one of my very best friends, her son applies to be on a lot of talk on a lot of game shows.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_02: He that's his dream.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_02: He wants, I mean, he won, he applies to be on all of them.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_02: He's I mean, almost his he has a job, but his full-time job is applying to be on talks on not talk shows on game shows because he loves it.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_02: And so to know someone that made it and got on the show, like it's a big deal.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_02: So then it it's not a it's not an easy process, it's very long and drawn out.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_02: And then to take in the effect of your past and the you know just the legal ramifications that they had to go through to get you approved to get on the show, and and then to to you made it and dumb as Margaritaville, and you and things you're like, oh shoot, I have to say no.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_01: And but wow, and then God still allowed you to get on there and as I can remember sitting in the living room with my husband at night, and of course we watched the show and stuff, and I'd said, and I said to him one night, I said, Man, I said, if God would just let me get on the show and win a trip to Hawaii, I said that's all I really want.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, and that's what I got I got.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, he's such a good good father, isn't it?
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_02: He is a good good father, yes, he is well.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_02: This has been so fun.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you, Jessica, for joining us, and thank you, Lord, for saving Jessica and digging her out of this pit and healing her from addiction and all of those things and restoring her family.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_02: I love a good restoration story, and I just really appreciate you being on here.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, it's been a pleasure.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you so much.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_03: All right, y'all.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_03: That's all for today.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_03: Hope that you join in with us next week.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_03: Like everything, hit the buttons, follow, share it.
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_03: Just do all the things for us.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_03: We'd appreciate it.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, especially if you know someone that would resonate with Jessica's story or someone that loves Wheel of Fortune.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_02: We don't care who you share it to, just share it and uh let's let's get the gospel out there.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_02: We appreciate it.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_00: You've been listening to Table Talk with BJ Garrett and Denise Bowens.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_00: To support this ministry through prayer or giving, visit our website at unashamedww.com.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_00: May you be encouraged, rooted in truth, and unashamed.