Latest / Business Roundtable / Finding Peace
Transcript
- 0:01All right, well, welcome back everybody to the Business Roundtable podcast. I'm
- 0:06one of your hosts here, David Carr Steward your Business, where I help
- 0:09business owners and their teams focus on overall engagement in organizational health. So we're
- 0:15gonna be talking about a topic of health, particularly peace today. But before
- 0:20we get into the specific topic, I'll let everyone else introduce themselves. I'll
- 0:24start with Bill Hatch. Go ahead, Bill, introduce yourself to the audience.
- 0:27Hi. My name is Bill Hatch. I am a leadership guide and
- 0:31podcaster. I host the weekly show Not Quite After Midnight, and I co
- 0:38host a couple of other podcasts each week and just having some fun. Yeah,
- 0:45we're great to have you back. Bill. We have Stacy Kinoshida back
- 0:48this week, which is awesome. Stacy, would you introduce yourself? Of
- 0:51course? Thank you, Stacy Kinoshida. I am a business resource specialist and
- 0:56what I do is work with business owners on strategies to address their workforce concerns,
- 1:02their company culture, as well as their cash flow through different programs,
- 1:06so the tax incentive programs and other ways of infusing cash back into their business.
- 1:12Thank you. Oh that's great, and I know you're gonna have a
- 1:15lot of great comments based on that for our topic of peace tonight, and
- 1:19then we're going to have our Charlie Chen, our facilitator tonight on this topic
- 1:23Intronace himself and take on take over the show. So go for it,
- 1:27Charlie. Awesome, thank you, Thank you again for putting this together,
- 1:30David. So always a pleasure and privilege to be a part of this roundtable
- 1:36and bring value to our audience here. So my name is Charlie Chen,
- 1:41the cybersecurity specialists of the group here and what I do is I work as
- 1:47a Chief Experience Officer Foreign tell Us is where our focus is delivering a world
- 1:55class client experience and most importantly that peace of mind. So this is a
- 1:59perfect topick, uh during this time the holiday seasons, bringing peace on earth.
- 2:05And so I actually we you know, as part of this roundtable,
- 2:09what we'd like to do is bring valuable resources to empower you to measure because
- 2:17because what's measured and and and tract is how we're gonna know if we're gonna
- 2:23if we're actually growing. So there's something cool, yeah, absolutely, So
- 2:30there's something cool when it comes to peace, Like you know, are you
- 2:32at peace? That's that's very vague and subjective, right. So there's actually
- 2:37a cool resource that we're going to dive into the high points. It's called
- 2:43the Peace Index Assessment. And so the piece index essentially talks about five different
- 2:50key areas in your UH to to be able to help you assess, you
- 2:55know, whether you're you're at peace, where you stand with UH. So
- 3:00i'd like to bring you up, David, what what would you say if
- 3:05you could share with the audience those five areas are in terms of what the
- 3:09Yeah, absolutely, yeah, I'm excited to be able to share this with
- 3:14with you guys, this piece assessment of which everyone will actually be able to
- 3:17take. But really it's a framework of understanding and this kind of five areas
- 3:24like you just talked about, Charlie, oftentimes like our purpose, UH,
- 3:30where where we're at, what we're what we're here to do, our place,
- 3:36our physical environment, where do we find ourselves living and working daily,
- 3:39our provision, how do we provide for ourselves, for our family, the
- 3:44people around us, in our personal health. So there's five p's in there.
- 3:49If you can remember that, well, we'll go back and touch on
- 3:52that. Each one of us look God at the comment on it. But
- 3:54yes, and just what you're saying, Charlie, we're here going at the
- 3:58end of the end of the years time and this and I find that there's
- 4:01a lot of hustle and bustle which we really want to find peace, but
- 4:05oftentimes it's it's a little bit of chaotic. So I'm excited to listen and
- 4:10learn from each of you, like where have you guys found peace along this
- 4:13this this journey. So thanks, thanks Charlie for the opportunity to share that.
- 4:15Yeah, my pleasure. Yeah, So don't worry about trying to take
- 4:19notes and jot down everything because we're actually going to share the link to the
- 4:24assess the free assessment, so you'll you'll be able to dive into the five
- 4:29areas for for the piece index. And so I like to start with you,
- 4:33Stacy, So, uh, just to share with the audience, you
- 4:36know, how fulfilled are you in your purpose right now? And what is
- 4:43if you don't mind sharing, what is your purpose? Oh my goodness,
- 4:46that's a that's a big question there, and so let's let's unpack that.
- 4:53So I know I was created to serve, I was created to my purpose
- 5:00is to basically serve serve others in helping here's, here's, here's. I'm
- 5:12struggling to articulate myself, but I believe that I find the greatest fulfillment in
- 5:16helping others fulfill their their visions and dreams. And when I see and and
- 5:24also when I see myself in going in the direction that I feel God has
- 5:30called me to go, I feel that that, you know, that is
- 5:35my biggest purpose is to serve and also to to build that relationship with with
- 5:42my Lord and Savior. I believe we were we were created to not just
- 5:46survive this world, but to thrive. And the way to do that is
- 5:51through the relationships that we create here on earth as well as with our relationship
- 5:58with God or whoever you want to call the universe or whatnot. But I
- 6:00think without without that, there is no purpose. But I think when people
- 6:05talk about their purpose, it also it has to be grounded in something.
- 6:12You know, a lot of people talk about, you know, my purpose
- 6:15is this and that. But I feel like there's where's that source of that
- 6:18purpose And mine is in my own biblical beliefs. That's where I find my
- 6:25sense of purpose and so so ultimately that's that that you know, and your
- 6:32question was what is my purpose? And then what your second question was about
- 6:36related to values and passion and aspirations. Everything I do think your data you
- 6:42you're the most healthy person, is related to my values and my passions and
- 6:46my aspirations. I feel like life is dull without following your passions and your
- 6:51aspirations. People who go through life with just mundane steps and just have no
- 6:55sense of where they're going are the most miserable souls on on earth. And
- 7:00as long as I align myself with my values and I feel that everything that
- 7:04I do is align with my purpose and I'm moving in that direction, then
- 7:11uh, then I feel like I'm living in my purpose. So putting there,
- 7:16Yeah, some comments, I'm on my own assessment. I was typing
- 7:20in the little chat our comments between each other here, but just I know
- 7:25I'm agreeing with you, Stacey. It is like being in alignment. But
- 7:30oftentimes sometimes I mean, here's the reality though, I think where we get
- 7:33out of piece for me is we get we get disconnected from our values or
- 7:40our passion and we do things that are not in alignment with those things.
- 7:44We lose our aspiration or we lose our motivation or inspiration, and then our
- 7:48piece goes down in my experience. But sometimes we don't realize that because we're
- 7:55just like, oh, do the work, do the work. I'm in
- 7:57the thing with the grind, yeah, And before you know it, you're
- 8:01like, oh, man, why do I feel off? Like you're saying,
- 8:03Stacy, that's where I like, that's a big question. You're absolutely
- 8:09right, But I guld that was that was like, you know, how
- 8:11do we get paying attention to those things when we're out of alignment? Right?
- 8:16It's like a car. You drive a car right, if it's out
- 8:20of alignment, it starts to drift right. It doesn't stay because something's happened,
- 8:24it's got off kilter. I think that's where we lose our piece,
- 8:28is can we pay attention to that? And sometimes it's not a huge like,
- 8:33it's not like it's just okay, just got to move it back a
- 8:37little bit, right, Stacy, Right. And I mean, I don't
- 8:39want to dominate the conversation, but I do want to add to you know,
- 8:43a lot of times we look at this sense of purposes. Here's the
- 8:46purpose. But again, if you've got to look at the different areas of
- 8:50your life, and I think the assessment also breaks that down is is what
- 8:54is your purpose with your with your family? What is your purpose with in
- 9:00the different areas of your life? And I think when you don't focus on
- 9:03the specifics the smaller picture, the big picture looks chaotic. So, for
- 9:07example, if your purpose is to serve others or to help uh, you
- 9:13know, others fulfill their dreams and you're living a life where you're eating junk
- 9:18food and you're not exercising and you're not doing anything, you you cannot fulfill
- 9:22your purpose. If you've got a body that's broken down, or or if
- 9:26your mindset is always negative and you always and you're constantly depressed and you know
- 9:31so uh, and you don't work on those different areas of your life,
- 9:33or how you view yourself and how you your self esteem is low and you're
- 9:39all of those things. You know, we don't look at that as that
- 9:41is all part of the bigger the smaller pieces that make up the bigger picture.
- 9:46And you've got to pay attention to all those different little areas because that
- 9:50ultimately is going to give you that sense of fulfillment that you are actually living
- 9:54in your purpose. And so I think that's where we fail and when when
- 9:58life starts to get chaotic, when we're we think, okay, I'm here
- 10:01to serve I mean I'm not people who they believe that they're they're here on
- 10:05earth to serve God, and all they do is go to church, go
- 10:07to church, go to church. But there's no balance in their life with
- 10:13their family. They don't spend enough time with connecting with their loved ones,
- 10:16their health has deteriorated. There's you know, and so it's easy to to
- 10:22it looks like a glorified friend. Oh we're living in my purpose. But
- 10:26really, when you break it down to all the specifics, are you really
- 10:31in alignment in all those different areas of your life or at least close to
- 10:35being alignment? So that and I think that that's where people actually feel the
- 10:39most fulfillment and the most peace in their life because they know that they're moving
- 10:43in alignment with their purpose and their values and whatnot. So I'm gonna list
- 10:48somebody else, Thakbely we're getting excited. Thank you for sharing, Stacey.
- 10:52And there's a reason I started with purpose. It's definitely in the north star
- 10:58that we want to align all the different areas and different aspects of our lives
- 11:01too, and so thank you for touching on those different areas and and and
- 11:07and just not looking at just a purpose only, but how that all ties
- 11:11in together because the win in one area is a win in all areas and
- 11:15so and yeah, and so I love to Bill, bring Bill in because,
- 11:20uh, your your leadership guide and and I I'd love to hear the
- 11:24journey of how you uncovered that purpose of being a leadership guide and and how
- 11:28you help others, other leaders to uncover their purpose. Well really, uh,
- 11:39it started back in the nineties, a million years ago. And when
- 11:48I had I had moved back to southern California because I wanted to work on
- 11:54cal Poly's Rose Parade float. And so I went to uh went to cal
- 11:58Poly and Amona the good cal Caling and and joined up with the Rose Parade
- 12:09committee. And I led that group for for two years and we won banners
- 12:15each year, and that really started my journey there. Then in the in
- 12:22the late two thousands, I went back to school to finish up my bachelor's
- 12:26ended up getting Bachelors of Business Administration and Marketing and Management. I had I
- 12:33found I had particular strengths in leadership. And so when when one of my
- 12:39professors asked me to help him develop a program for leadership that the State of
- 12:45California had had hired him to do, I jumped at the opportunity. And
- 12:52yeah, I've been doing it off and on since then. And then when
- 12:56I decided to go back to school to get my master's degree, the school
- 13:01wanted to make sure I knew how to write at a graduate level, and
- 13:05so they made me take a class and in that class, they they had
- 13:09me study a chapter from this book that one of their professors had written on
- 13:15leadership and it it it caught me off guard, you know, and uh
- 13:22and it really it really presented this attractive style of leadership and uh and I've
- 13:26been working on that ever since. In fact, I've started working on a
- 13:33book on the subject and hope to have a Mastermind started hopefully this next year.
- 13:41Depends on when the book gets finished. It takes a long It can
- 13:46take a long time to write a book. Yeah, what's the name of
- 13:50the book, But well, it doesn't really have a name yet, but
- 13:56right now, the working title was leading with Purpose Love it? How perfect
- 14:03is that? But but yeah, yeah, and leading with Purpose that does
- 14:11kind of fit in with tonight's conversation. But yeah, and uh yeah,
- 14:18so I've really I've really found a purpose in doing this. Yep, as
- 14:22soon as I finish it, Yeah, exactly, very cool. Well,
- 14:28the next piece, so there's five piece. The second p is actually people,
- 14:33so we'll go the other way around. So, David, how healthy?
- 14:39How does you know just having healthy relationships or like with those that are
- 14:46in your life? How does that? Why does that matter? Like,
- 14:50I mean, it's that's it's it's really critical. I mean, so I've
- 14:58been I've been married for eighteen years, have to learn to live with another
- 15:01person and how to navigate that. It's not always a better roses, right,
- 15:07there's challenges, but people are different, and so part of this piece
- 15:13is really knowing who you are, uniquely designed and created, and then how
- 15:18do you fit with others around you in a way that's more in harmony than
- 15:24in conflict. And this is actually really kind of we talk about purpose.
- 15:30My purpose or my wife is bringing people together to accomplish great things. It
- 15:33is finding that and melding them together. However, there it takes time,
- 15:39maturity takes understanding oneself to appreciate the differences that are out there, and oftentimes
- 15:48we've talked about like your leadership voice in the past, for example, certain
- 15:52voices or certain ways of being can be irritating. It could be frustrating to
- 15:56others on the team, and you're like, why they keep showing up that,
- 16:00why why are they doing it this way? I don't get it.
- 16:03I'm frustrated to understand it. So what happens I found, Charlie, is
- 16:07that we allow other's people to rob us of our peace, if you will,
- 16:14we choose that. Honestly, if you think about we're actually choosing that,
- 16:17we're allowing that to happen. And so this idea of who are in
- 16:22your life, who are you allowing into your life? Who are you you
- 16:26know, being a part of what are you opening yourself up to? I
- 16:29think is really really important. And some of it we have we have we
- 16:34always have a choice of how we can respond. That's absolutely some of the
- 16:38things we don't have choice of. You know, our brothers and sisters are
- 16:41certain family, there's certain things we just have a part of our life.
- 16:45But I find that there's ways that we can then be more proactive and how
- 16:48we show up. I think Curtis had mentioned this maybe a couple of episodes
- 16:53of that. We talked about boundaries like right boundaries or or fenses, if
- 17:00you will. Those are good things that you can find to create true piece
- 17:04actually at times. But with the whole concept of people, what you're saying,
- 17:10Charlie is did you even account for that because you might not think about
- 17:15how your piece is being thrown off by the people that you have in your
- 17:19life. So yeah, absolutely, mhm, no, there's there's definitely value
- 17:26in making sure that I think the boundaries is a good place to start,
- 17:32because if if there's no clear concept of it and respect of it and being
- 17:38able to communicate and enforce your boundaries, it's hard to find peace. So
- 17:45it's quite interesting that it's actually boundaries that set you free, which is kind
- 17:52of a paradox, right, like a oxymoron almost, And so because without
- 17:57boundaries, you don't know ever where you stand and and and then you just
- 18:03feel like at a constant state of chaos. And so one agree with that,
- 18:10yeah, Bill, So in terms of just other ways, like you
- 18:15know, being the leadership guide that you are, like how do you develop
- 18:21you know, how do you coach leaders into in terms of how to manage
- 18:26those interpersonal relationships, how to enhance that, how to how to identify,
- 18:33you know, different breakdowns and and work through. Right, because conflict resolution
- 18:37is not something that we grow up learning about in school, and so we
- 18:44typically, you know, just allow our physical wiring, like our our our
- 18:52archaic wiring as human beings of fight, flight or freeze. And so how
- 18:56do we transition from that? Right, that primal reactive tendency too, you
- 19:06know, a actual response, a wise response. Right, how how do
- 19:11you make that transition? Well, you have to remember that it's really hard
- 19:19to affect the person on the other side of the fence. So you need
- 19:25to be careful about where you what you place boundaries around. You know,
- 19:30you can't you can't isolate yourself out from from everybody because you know, part
- 19:37of our purpose is to affect people, hopefully for the positive. But but
- 19:45yeah, and uh, and conflict isn't always bad. You know, there's
- 19:52there's certainly unconstructive conflict. But you know, usually we refer to competition as
- 19:59as good, but that is in essence a type of conflict. But uh,
- 20:03you know, we need to we need to manage these things in order
- 20:07to have positive relationships with other people, you know, and uh, and
- 20:15you know, not just have these angry you know, knock down, drag
- 20:21out fights. Uh and and call that conflict and good because it's not.
- 20:26But on the other hand, we can't just we can't just kick all the
- 20:29people who are who are not positive out of our lives entirely. One.
- 20:36It's not good for them because they need a positive influence. But but also
- 20:41for us, where are we going to grow? How are we going to
- 20:47grow? You know, I often use find myself using this as a as
- 20:51an example. But when one goes to the gym, you know, to
- 20:56to grow muscles, you have to have resistance and and uh and if you
- 21:00don't have conflict, then you can't grow those muscles either. And so you
- 21:08know, so you need to uh, you need to care, but you
- 21:11need to be careful about it. You don't wanna you don't want to overblow,
- 21:15you know, you don't want to put the thousand pounds start out with
- 21:18a thousand pound weight. But but you don't want to go in with an
- 21:22empty barbell either, you know. So, uh, you're just not going
- 21:29to get anywhere then awesome, Yeah, no, that's a great point.
- 21:33And great, great reframing of conflict, because uh, it's the challenges that
- 21:38that one indicate that there's you know, people actually care about, you know,
- 21:45what's at stake here, and and it's the breakdowns that that are access
- 21:49to break that gives you access to breakthroughs. And so I love to hear
- 21:55Stacey, do you mind sharing an example of a time when you know you
- 22:02had like a challenge, right that seemingly frustrating situation with relationships where that actually
- 22:11led to a breakthrough. I would love to. I think David has a
- 22:17question for me. I had a question for Bill on this and maybe in
- 22:21for you to Stacy, because I find you know whether there's that conflict and
- 22:26built tell me what your thoughts on Stacy. In in the leadership side is
- 22:33when people are not clear on their role or responsibility and then there's like,
- 22:38Okay, well what am I supposed to doing here? So again not there's
- 22:41a lack of peace because I don't know clearly what my role or responsibility is,
- 22:48and then there's going to be conflict well I'm supposed to do this or
- 22:49I'm I'm not going to do this, and it causes disruption in the organization.
- 22:55Just but I want to just build maybe your thoughts and then Stacy,
- 22:57when you share your thoughts on that great, great question. I belonged to
- 23:03a team and I'm one of the team leaders, and I just want to
- 23:07share an experience. So there's someone on my team, you know, we
- 23:11talked about the different types of personalities and whatnot and and understanding my leadership style.
- 23:19I had to there's someone that I had to really I don't want to
- 23:26say come to Jesus moment, but I had to just really just try to
- 23:29understand what my person I'm a very direct person. Let people probably figure that
- 23:34out right now. And the and the person that I'm working with is more
- 23:38of a h Ai nurture avoiding, avoid, avoid, avoider. Yes,
- 23:49now not a nurture, but avoid and and I can lose my patience with
- 23:53people who just, you know, just avoid things because I want to,
- 23:56like, let's just knock this out and get it over with. And so
- 24:00there was a time when this person actually in front of the team, the
- 24:06team accused me. What was that person there's on the the the leaderships actually
- 24:11accused me of being dishonest. And this is this is not even this is
- 24:18in front of me, three or four people on my team. And what
- 24:21I said was, and I'll call this person joke. I will tell you
- 24:25if it's male female. And I said, and and so we're talking about
- 24:27conflict and boundaries. Okay, So I said, you know, Joe,
- 24:30if you and this was something that this person had been resent resentful of,
- 24:37some kind of action that I'm thinking it's resolved. We had this conversation and
- 24:40I said, if you've got an issue with me, then you need to
- 24:42pull me aside and address that personally, not bring that to in front of
- 24:48the team. And and so so what ended up happening is and both of
- 24:53us are professing believers, So I brought in some of the Biblical values and
- 24:57I said, look, you know we're we're on the same team. We're
- 25:02on the have the same purpose and the goal, so let's work together.
- 25:04But if there's a conflict, let me tell you where I'm coming from.
- 25:07From one believer to another. Bible says, if you have a conflict with
- 25:11someone, then you go to them directly and you address it. Now.
- 25:15If they refuse to hear you, then you bring somebody else in then you
- 25:19Okay, So I said, are you are you willing to abide by by
- 25:25that at least, you know, we're both saying we're professor believers. And
- 25:27she said no, and I said, okay, So I'm thinking, okay,
- 25:33now I got to redirectly, where are these boundaries going to go right
- 25:37now? Thinking that we have the same values, we're both coming from a
- 25:40biblical perspective, and she's actually saying no. So I said, okay,
- 25:44so continue to do, you know, do business with her. And then
- 25:49there was another explosion. So I said, you know what, I've got
- 25:52to figure out where these boundaries are. She's definitely not going to communicate with
- 25:56me directly, and every time I do, there's drama. I don't like
- 26:00drama. So I brought in. I brought in the head broker and I
- 26:04said, look, this is what's going on. And so he stepped in
- 26:10and had a call for both of us. And now I'm still following.
- 26:14I tried to go to her directly. Now we're bringing in somebody else.
- 26:17And this person said, look, you guys are on the same team,
- 26:19you're moving in the same direction, and you have the same purpose. Why
- 26:23don't you work together? I mean, basically, you're being foolish creating this
- 26:27drama. He didn't say that, but that's my trip. Dat, You're
- 26:30being foolish creating all this drama and this relationship. And the whole time I'm
- 26:33thinking, Okay, where are the boundaries run my expectations as a leader?
- 26:37How am I going to do this? So finally I called and I said,
- 26:41you know, look, I said, I apologize if I offended you.
- 26:45I said, but we need let's set some guidelines as to how we're
- 26:48going to communicate with each other because we obviously there's miscommunication. And I said,
- 26:52so if you have X, Y and Z issues or you need to
- 26:56communicate, then because what happened was when I call, it was just constant
- 27:00fussing and I just say, you know, I don't need this drama.
- 27:03And I hung up on her and she was offended by the hang up,
- 27:06And so I established the boundary. I say, okay, so when we
- 27:08have this issue, then this is how we're going to resolve it. That
- 27:12was my way of re establishing boundaries of how we were going to to deal
- 27:18with any type of conflict between the two of us. But I tell you,
- 27:22sometimes, you know, I got to have a come to Jesus moment
- 27:26with myself because some of these people I want to straggle, and so I've
- 27:30got to look at myself as a leader and how to be effective. I've
- 27:33got to But in setting boundaries relationships, how we grow. I will not
- 27:38allow this person into my personal space because she's very adversarial as far as wanting
- 27:45to attack me. But I feel that if she's on my team, if
- 27:48the goal is for us to win, then I'm going to do whatever it
- 27:52takes for us to win and for her to win. But that doesn't mean
- 27:55that I have to allow her in my personal space and do Kumbaya moments and
- 27:59have You know, there's some there's some boundaries there and with her the fence
- 28:03might be a little bit wider, but but there's definitely a fence for me
- 28:07to be able to keep my peace because you know, some people just can
- 28:11disrupt your peace if you allow them and if you don't set those boundaries.
- 28:14So that's my example of how I put into action what we are talking about.
- 28:21Amen, all right, so are you at peace with that person?
- 28:26Now? I'm in at peace. I'm at peace because I've had I have
- 28:30those boundaries in place. I don't Yeah, I know, I you know,
- 28:34I don't some people hold in a lot of conflict or whatnot. Once
- 28:38I have those boundaries established, I'm at peace. Like I don't. I
- 28:42don't hold it in and she did this to me. I would rather use
- 28:47my time in being proactive than retroactive. And so so as long as I
- 28:52know what the expectations are for me as a as a leader, and what
- 28:56her she understands her expectations, then I'm fine. But I have to be
- 29:02careful because some personality types like the little jab and so when when people start
- 29:07jabbing is when I have to put myself in check and say, no,
- 29:10let's you know, I'm not going to react to this. I need to
- 29:12understand what my role is. Again. I like how we're tying all this
- 29:15in in a real life, you know, situation. But I still put
- 29:22myself in check with certain people because I know that I could I can go
- 29:26off on somebody they start acting crazy and you know, well, yeah,
- 29:33you talked about Stacey your piece, and then how do we affect other people's
- 29:37piece too? So yeah, that's a great I thank you for sharing that
- 29:40story because that's real world, you know, how do you handle it?
- 29:45There is another side of boundaries, as well, is focusing on our internal
- 29:53focus of control. So I'm sure Bill you've heard that term before, So
- 30:00can you all elaborate more about that and if Obviously, basically my understanding of
- 30:07it is basically focusing on what we can control within ourselves as opposed to focusing
- 30:15on how we feel and determining how we feel based on what's happening outside of
- 30:21us, which we don't have control over. That's the other the flip side
- 30:25of boundaries as well. So Bill, do you mind sharing a little bit
- 30:27about that? Sure, Well, you know, we have we do have
- 30:34to know what we actually have control over. You know. There in the
- 30:40end, it turns out we have very little control over a lot of things,
- 30:45and uh, and trying to control those things is just going to lead
- 30:48to frustration, a lack of peace. And you know, uh, how's
- 30:56the how's the old the old prayer, Go Lord grant the uh oh shoot,
- 31:04how the peace the wisdom to uh to know yeah, to know what?
- 31:10But yeah, right right and uh and uh you know, so we
- 31:17definitely need to h to work on that. But but yeah, you know,
- 31:25the the focus of control really we we need to control ourselves because we're
- 31:32really the only the only thing that we can control our behavior is our responses,
- 31:40you know, and uh, and how we how we act toward others,
- 31:45you know. You know, States certainly brought up a lot of a
- 31:48lot of biblical so I'll go ahead and uh and bring up a little more.
- 31:52Paul said, Uh, inasmuch as it is up to you be at
- 31:56peace with everyone, it's not U as much as it's up to them.
- 32:04It's as much as it's up to you. And uh, you know.
- 32:09So, so, yeah, the focus of control really needs to be inside,
- 32:14I think, because trying to control others is a losing battle. Yeah.
- 32:21Well, you know, and you can't just elaborate on that. You
- 32:23know, when you have a type a personality, there's some controlagis trust me
- 32:30and so and you know, I want things done and I want it done
- 32:35right, I want it done now. And what I've learned is that,
- 32:37you know, Uh, the challenge I have is that if everything rises and
- 32:42falls on leadership, and so if it goes wrong, it is the leader's
- 32:45fault. If it goes right, the leader's fault everything. So you know,
- 32:50there's a point in time where you realize, you know, I've got
- 32:52to take responsibility for it, but you understand that you really there's some things
- 32:55that are out of your control. And when you realize I've done everything in
- 33:00my power to at that time and made the decisions based on what was best,
- 33:06Uh, there's a time to let go and just say, you know,
- 33:09and be at peace at because I did what was right or made the
- 33:14best decision at that time. Did it create some chaos? Probably? You
- 33:19know, was it was it the absolute best decision for the company? Maybe
- 33:23not, But at that time when I made that decision, I had to
- 33:28make it, make that decision and be at peace at it. So sometimes
- 33:30just letting go of control and just understanding that you do all you can do.
- 33:36I think was it Genro and uh, all you can do is all
- 33:39you can do, and all you can do is enough. And sometimes you
- 33:43have to accept the fact that all you know, it has to be enough
- 33:45because that's all I that's all I have to get, even though there's chaos.
- 33:50So you know, and I think that that's part of being at peace
- 33:54with yourself as a as a leader, is just doing all you can and
- 33:58being at peace with that decision. So yeah, yeah, absolutely, I
- 34:01mean people is I mean, people are complicated, right, including ourselves,
- 34:06and so we we we we are difficult and so are other people. And
- 34:10understanding the differences is what's going to help us give that give us that peace.
- 34:16And so the other side, the next pe I'd like to dive into.
- 34:21So we have purpose people now we got placed. So David, I
- 34:25think you're the perfect person for me to start with on this. How does
- 34:30the environment right, having the right environment increase or decrease your sense of peace
- 34:36and balance? Yeah, this is a this is a great one. Well
- 34:38for those of you that don't know. Before I started the steward your business,
- 34:43like we actually worked in the environment as a biologist for over twenty years.
- 34:49Uh, and so I'm big on the natural world and our and our
- 34:52human world and oftentimes actually you think about that, why do people go to
- 34:59the mountains? I live in the mountains now, But why do people go
- 35:01outdoors? Right? Because they need some quiet, they need some peace?
- 35:07Right, you heard about like go to the mountaintop or go out and walk
- 35:10in the garden. There is actual physically, there's scientific evidence actually that supports
- 35:16this about how our minds and our bodies recharge. And so I really get
- 35:24excited about this part of Charlie, because this is one that we can be
- 35:30very intentional about. Wherever we're at, we can, you know, we
- 35:37can look for ways where we can make an ideal environment that helps us be
- 35:42more successful. This could be in our office, our physical space, the
- 35:45things around us, and it literally puts us in our mindset of each of
- 35:53these things can can contribute or detract from our peace. And for the particularly
- 36:00living you know, work from home, it can be challenging because you're living
- 36:06and working in the same space, just particularly now today's age, So you
- 36:10have to be very intentional. If you're not intentional, literally people are working
- 36:14out of their bedroom. Lets you just use that example, working out of
- 36:16your bedroom, which should be a sacred safe place to relax and decompress.
- 36:22Right, but you're stressing out and you're doing all this work. You're telling
- 36:27you you're missing your mind up. Your mind is saying learning to me,
- 36:30getting different messages. So if you're not even thinking about that intentionally, like
- 36:36you're not realizing how much you need to have a transition and be able to
- 36:38create that space. So I think this is such a good importance. And
- 36:45now we're in this season of Christmas too, right, look at the environment
- 36:47around us. People love Christmas decorations, all these things around us because it
- 36:52creates a certain feel and environment. Right, and this has gone. It's
- 36:55a different experience, right, You're like, well, this is different,
- 37:00looks different. This I'm giving an extreme example because we don't have that most
- 37:02of the rest of the time of the year. But that is just so
- 37:07fundamental to me to understanding your place and your physical surrounding and the way you
- 37:13live. Excuse me, is if you're not you're not finding harmony in that
- 37:19or not. So I would love to hear from you guys, all of
- 37:22you on like what has that been for you at work or home? Hybrid
- 37:28world. Absolutely, yeah, it looks like Stacey's got a nice, very
- 37:35peaceful, very virtual background there, you believe it or not. That's why
- 37:44I sometimes use virtual backgrounds to create a piece of feeling of piece and srendity.
- 37:49But I'm very sensitive to my environment and I understand that about myself,
- 37:53and I might be I don't want to say extreme, but even like my
- 37:58closet, I'm a a I don't know if you guys know, but but
- 38:00my closet, like I have to be able to walk in my closet and
- 38:04know where all the black shirts are a short sleeve, long sleeve, and
- 38:07where the blue shirts, and I know where everything is. The people think
- 38:13that that's crazy that I have to be so organized, but I can walk
- 38:15in there and feel a sense of peace when I get dressed in the morning.
- 38:19I know where all my stuff is. I don't have to stress.
- 38:22But I could be extreme too. If I have a drawer for scissors,
- 38:25and when I was married and had kids at home, and somebody moved the
- 38:29scissors and be like where the scissors, Like this was being this drawer and
- 38:31you know. But so that's where you give up control and you learn,
- 38:36Okay, it's just a pair of scissors. We can live with the scissors
- 38:38being moved. But I do things throughout every area of my environment or add
- 38:45in other elements to be able to create that environment. So in my office,
- 38:50I actually have a infuser, so I put scents in there. I
- 38:54have my Google Hub, so when I could feel myself stressed, I will
- 39:00detached from my work and then ask Google have to play some music for me,
- 39:02so I could just break away from that. And that's what I find
- 39:06is that I have to create different situations and spaces for me to be able.
- 39:10And then even the way I decorate my office that brings me a sense
- 39:14of joy to just looking at like beautiful environments at home too. I mean,
- 39:20someone when I moved into this apartment said, well, why don't you
- 39:22put your TV in your bedroom? Like, I don't want a TV in
- 39:24my bedroom. I want my bedroom to be a bedroom, and so I
- 39:29don't want a TV. I don't want anything other to start. I want
- 39:31to go in there and just feel this sense of peace. Decorating my home
- 39:36that brings me peace but sense. And I'm very central in the sense that
- 39:39I look at the five senses and how I can utilize that to create a
- 39:45a you know, enhance my environment to bring that sense of peace. But
- 39:49it also could be you know, like a lot of noise if I'm around
- 39:52a lot of people and there's a lot of drama, just removing myself from
- 39:57that that drama and just finding a quiet place where I can just calm my
- 40:00mind, and that again puts me in a commerce state of peace. So
- 40:07for me, it is, you know, working with my five senses in
- 40:10my environment. Yeah, I mean, even though we can't control, you
- 40:17know, what other people do, but we can control what environment we put
- 40:22around ourselves or we put ourselves in. So now, David had mentioned about
- 40:29how we're all working from home now and so well a lot of us are
- 40:34at least, and so like, I'd love to hear Bill, how how
- 40:38have you been able to separate because you obviously have a different podcast, you
- 40:42have different projects, you're writing the book, you know, you have obviously
- 40:47your personal life as well, like and then we're always just living those yeah,
- 40:54exactly, So how do we how do we keep that like peace among
- 41:00like all the different areas of our life because they're also intertwined and intermingled.
- 41:05Like, how do you for going back to that concept of boundaries, right,
- 41:09how do you create boundaries with like your work and your personal life?
- 41:15Stacy? Yeah, Stacy actually touched on on a little bit of that,
- 41:22and that's that's for me. When I was living in southern California, still
- 41:30my uh, my, my cousin and I were using uh, we're using
- 41:35a one bedroom apartment and uh and basically the bedroom, as David said,
- 41:42is also was also my workspace, was also where the TV was, where
- 41:49there was there was all sorts of all sorts of overlap. There there were
- 41:53no boundaries between between the different things. The podcast wrong done there, the
- 42:00everything, and you know, but now the house that we're in has three
- 42:07bedrooms, and I have a separate office, so I've got my own bedroom.
- 42:14I have a TV in my bedroom, but mostly I just use it
- 42:17for music. But and but I have a separate office, which is in
- 42:25a separate part of the house. It's not even it's not even like a
- 42:29converted bedroom. It's in a completely different area of the house. And so
- 42:34whatever is going on and the rest of it, I really can't hear,
- 42:37you know, what's going on. So you know, so there's there's the
- 42:42ability to and really as far as things like you know, like like meetings
- 42:46and podcasts and and things of that nature, you know, I really just
- 42:52have to bounce, you know. I I set that off by schedule so
- 42:57that it's like, okay, from twelve to one, and that's what's happening
- 43:01at this time and nothing else right, And you know, it's funny,
- 43:07even even while here on vacation with my parents, there's kind of been some
- 43:10of that. You know, it's like, okay, at twelve o'clock on
- 43:14Thursday, is podcasts and you know, and and things like that, even
- 43:20though I don't have the ability to really separate out from the rest of the
- 43:24of the condo here for a decent workspace. But but yeah, as far
- 43:31as at home, you know, I've got an office. There are office
- 43:36things in the office and not other things, and so you know, it
- 43:43really puts me in the in the mentality to work. You know, my
- 43:46chair is comfortable. I've got one of those desks that can adjust height so
- 43:51I can stand up at it if I get uncomfortable, and you know,
- 43:55and stay healthy in that workspace, and you know, just keep it,
- 44:01keep work separate from the rest of the rest of life, because you know,
- 44:07we do need to have a rest of life. You know, I
- 44:10may a joke about not having a personal life, but it doesn't mean I
- 44:13don't want one. Yeah, the balance between resting and working is definitely a
- 44:22real thing that would contribute to our peace or lack thereof. That's why human
- 44:28beings were designed to require eight hours of sleep ideally, right, So that's
- 44:34a third of our life. Now, if if we think about, oh,
- 44:38wouldn't we be so much more productive if we didn't need to sleep so
- 44:43much or we didn't need to sleep at all. That's not how it works,
- 44:46right, It's like we're designed to have that cycle of working and resting
- 44:52so that way we can have peace and then we can come back more energized.
- 44:57And so I love that you know both of you have that separation,
- 45:01and and and David for bringing the awareness of having those separations and making sure
- 45:07that we honor those different areas without allowing them to cross over each other.
- 45:15And so the next area I want to go into speaking of work is provision.
- 45:20So that's the fourth P. And so provision is your ability to bring
- 45:24an income or different resources that add value to your life. And so I
- 45:31guess we'll go back the other way. So, so Bill, in terms
- 45:36of provisions, right, like, how does how does financial provision or or
- 45:43lack there of, how does that impact or affect your peace? H oh
- 45:52wow? It as the as the the roller coaster of of of the tide
- 46:00of financial success ebbs and flows. It has certainly affected my piece. You
- 46:09know, uh, you know, money can't buy happiness, but it can
- 46:12certainly rent it. No, seriously, though it's not having money is stressful
- 46:24because where's the next payment XT coming from? You know? Am I going
- 46:30to have electricity next month? Am I going to have a roof over my
- 46:34head? Or food on my table? You know? And and while money
- 46:38really can't buy happiness, you know it can certainly it can certainly having it
- 46:44can certainly alleviate a lot of those stresses in life and allow you to focus
- 46:47on the things that are truly important. Yeah, absolutely, Okay, you
- 46:54know is that the money money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy
- 46:58you a big boat. And you can say right up there, right right
- 47:02and and Stacy, I know that you know obviously one of the there's a
- 47:07lot of things that you do too, uh, to stand for for and
- 47:14to different ways that you different platforms that you use to serve people, you
- 47:19know, to fulfill your purpose observing. And so one of the ways that
- 47:22I know of is is helping people with financial literacy. And so this fits
- 47:28in really well with you know, this fourth p of provision. So why
- 47:32is it that you chose that you know, the folk that as a as
- 47:38a vehicle for you to fulfill your past, your purpose? And you know,
- 47:45why is that such a big thing that impacts our our piece, our
- 47:51piece? That is a great question I want to put in a comment.
- 47:57You know, entrepreneurs are are people who serve. We're here to solve problems
- 48:04for people, and that's a great way that we serve humanity, serve our
- 48:07families, serve in many ways. I was a business owner. I owned
- 48:13a learning center, and that was one way that I served in providing employment
- 48:17opportunities and helping people achieve their educational goals. I chose this particular platform I'm
- 48:25gonna talk in two super ways. One is just as a business model.
- 48:30I chose it because I believed that I could make a great and one is
- 48:34that I had a successful business model that I could use to be able to
- 48:38rebuild my life. I closed my learning center and started this business, so
- 48:43one was again, the choice was the business model. But the reason why
- 48:46I'm passionate about the crusade of financial literacy is because I do believe that there's
- 48:52an injustice in our country, that there is a lack of financial education,
- 48:59and that the final industry really takes advantage of our ignorance. And when I
- 49:02see so many people and so many families impacted by that, it takes me
- 49:07off. I could say a few other words, but you know what I
- 49:10mean. It takes me off. And so you know, my background wasn't
- 49:15in education, and so I think people say knowledge is power, but knowledge
- 49:20is nothing without without without applying. You've got to be able to apply that
- 49:27knowledge. And one of the reasons why I feel I make a great impact
- 49:31and serving is because I believe in educating people, not just selling them a
- 49:37product or not, but educating people so that they can make educated decisions on
- 49:40where they want, what they want to do to create generational wealth or impact
- 49:46the next generation. I feel like when I do impacts not just the current
- 49:51generation, but generation after generation. If I can change the mindset or get
- 49:54or inspire this current generation to uh to start saving and look out for the
- 50:00next generation, now we can create more Rockefellers. Not that everybody's going to
- 50:04be that, but you know what I'm saying. They the reason why the
- 50:07Rockefeller family is as well off as they are is because generations past looked out
- 50:10for future generations and they educated the future generations or setups away for the next
- 50:19generation to benefit from their heart labor. And I feel like a lot of
- 50:22us work so hard to support our families, provide for our families, but
- 50:27I think there's something bigger in setting your family up for generation after generation.
- 50:32And that's what I do is empower people to be able to do that.
- 50:37But it's got to start with one family at a time. So I chose
- 50:40that because I feel like that where we are in our country pretty much we
- 50:46are just lost when it comes to money. We're the wealthiest country in the
- 50:52world, and yet probably eighty five ninety five percent of us don't know principles
- 50:55about money or how money works. So we're just been really like suckers,
- 51:00people who just you know, and that that has to stop. That has
- 51:04to stop. So that's why I'm passionate about what I do. Oh we
- 51:08lose, you'll be right back, okay. So that's why you know,
- 51:13I'm passionate about what I do, and I believe it does. It not
- 51:16just serves the individual, but it serves families, it serves generations, and
- 51:21it serves our society as a whole. So absolutely, absolutely no, I
- 51:27absolutely think it's definitely the gap right between the wealthy and and everybody else is
- 51:35just so huge, and it starts with the mindset. It starts with that
- 51:39vision of thinking long term rather than just the immediate now. Exactly exactly,
- 51:46absolutely well, I wanted to bring you in, David as well on this
- 51:52before we dive into the last pe is is the provision part? Because I
- 51:57don't believe provision is just about like the Finance show, because oftentimes we're so
- 52:01hammered by society and our upbringing that the only two areas to focus on is
- 52:07your career and your finances, and and so there's like ten other areas,
- 52:13uh that lead to a balance and peaceful life. Uh in the north Star
- 52:17being the purpose of course, and so uh in terms of provision, I've
- 52:23I've tried to live by this. I don't know who said it, but
- 52:27there's never a shortage of money. There's there's only a shortage of ideas.
- 52:31And so the amount of money that that that you earned is is in direct
- 52:37proportion to the value that you bring to the marketplace. So you know,
- 52:40with that context, like how how would you say, you know, our
- 52:46audience can tap into some peace of mind or just find peace in terms of
- 52:52provision when they're like like I'm up to debt my eyeballs, you know,
- 52:55with all these payroll, all the expenses of running a business, like it's
- 53:00just a real gut check. That's how many business owners would call it.
- 53:06So, so how would you say, how can we shift that right?
- 53:10Like when we're in the in the weeds, in the trenches of building our
- 53:15business, how do we find that piece from a mindset downpoint? Well,
- 53:19so, okay, so if we're in just putting ourselves in that in that
- 53:23place, like you said of stress, loss of peace, Charlie, I'll
- 53:29use another driving analogy your story. You guys are ever driving and I'm up
- 53:32in the mountains where we get the snow gets covers the road and you see
- 53:37a pothole. What happens? Do you drive toward the pothole and crash into
- 53:40the pole? Oftentimes people put eyes in the pothole, right, and they
- 53:44go damn because they're like, oh my goodness. So what it takes,
- 53:49Charlie, is there are potholes. It's inevitable, right, they're gonna come.
- 53:53It's not it's not if they are. The real reality is if you're
- 53:58in in in the pit, if you know is you've got to go.
- 54:01I think Winston Churchill said this, if you're in hell, keep going.
- 54:06You know you've got to get through it. Right, So, but what
- 54:09are you focusing on? That's really the question. What is what's your desired
- 54:15story or your vision for the future. And from what I found you talked
- 54:20about mindset. Charlie. You said this idea that there's enough money to go
- 54:23around, which I believe there is. We as business owners leaders, we
- 54:30have to come from a place of abundance, not a deficit. Right,
- 54:37even if you know we're not there. We have to know where do we
- 54:39want to go? What do we envision the best? You know you hear
- 54:45about sports analogies. The people that can visualize winning when they're down, they
- 54:50can see they've already in their mind see how they can win. The moves
- 54:53they need to make further down the line. They know, they believe that
- 54:58and they're going to achieve that. So it really starts in your mind.
- 55:04And since we're just throwing out quotes, another quote that kind of to mind
- 55:06as you were talking about this idea, I love zig zigglers an amazing man.
- 55:09You talked about this idea. If you are able to help others get
- 55:12what you need, they need, you'll get what you need, absolutely right.
- 55:17We've got to look, like Stacey said earlier, how do we serve
- 55:21others? How do we get not being so centered about ourselves? Because what
- 55:25I find is that's a self fulfilling prophecy and there's never enough, and oh
- 55:30my goodness, and we're like grasping at straws and and I'm a man,
- 55:34and Stacy, you can comment on this, but I've I'm a man,
- 55:36and I've been around with women. If I'm desperate before I was married,
- 55:38women can tell like that from a mile away, a desperate man straggling,
- 55:43right, Yeah, absolutely, of a deficit I'm going to take. I'm
- 55:49going to grab right. It's repelling fact that it is not trusting, right,
- 55:55a desperate woman, desperate, anybody doesn't look attracted, so it's not
- 56:00attractive when you're living out of desperation. Now there's reality. We have to
- 56:04read reality, the facts of our life. While you're talking, Charlie,
- 56:07but what I found is if as a business owner, if you can be
- 56:10factual, and what I love about each one of you here is the more
- 56:14that we live our lives and we talk reality without fear of guilt and shame.
- 56:19It's just this is part of a life. You as a business owner,
- 56:22You're gonna have trouble making payrolls sometimes. I'm just trying to tell you
- 56:24that right now, you're gonna have cash frow problems. But to to minimize
- 56:30it or try to put this show of like oh I've got it all together,
- 56:34you're just making your piece go further down in the hole, right,
- 56:37So you see I mean, I mean, so this idea of provision,
- 56:43Charlie is getting in that place and creating, and I go through a whole
- 56:49thing in my own coaching program is going through this process with people and breaking
- 56:52it down in ways because we don't even know how to process the emotions associated
- 56:58with all this stuff. Maybe we'll get that to another another podcast today,
- 57:02but that idea of like how do you process this range of emotions that we're
- 57:09facing? Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, No, I mean that
- 57:15the mindset is where it all starts. So I love that you kind of
- 57:19close the loop on that. In terms of our provision is to start with
- 57:22mindset, begin with the end in mind and you know, with that,
- 57:27like I want to touch on the last P, which is personal health.
- 57:30And without this none of the other ones matter because you know, oftentimes we
- 57:37sacrifice our health to build our wealth and then when we you know, later
- 57:42on, when we have the wealth, we're trying to use that to buy
- 57:45back our health. But it's kind of like going, you know, running
- 57:47your car, driving it without doing the routine maintenance, and then when it's
- 57:52breaking down on you, then spending money to try to fix it. It's
- 57:57it's gonna it's too late, right, So we want to have that balance,
- 58:00right. So in terms of your personal health, we'll start with you,
- 58:06David. How how does you know personal health including emotional because oftentimes we're
- 58:12thinking just like our physical health, right and doing emotional mental of course physical
- 58:17wellbeing. How does how do those impact your level of peace? Oh?
- 58:23I mean it's I've noticed, Billy you talked about earlier about going to the
- 58:29gym and working out, right. I know the difference when I do workout
- 58:32and I get myself my body, I can feel the difference. I feel
- 58:36in power, I feel uncertainty and when I'm ready to take on the day
- 58:38and when I don't do it, and I often I can. As one
- 58:44that has started a new business in the last year, you pour a lot
- 58:47of effort, like you said earlier, in a certain area, but you
- 58:50can neglect this portion and you're, like you said, you're doing yourself a
- 58:55disservice because your body really is this you know, what's really interesting I've noticed
- 59:01too about your body is if some things we can't control, there's things that
- 59:06we there's cancer's disease that we can, but we when you can tell the
- 59:09difference of the presence of somebody that takes care of themselves physically when they walk
- 59:14into a room, and it's just a different dynamic, it's just a different
- 59:21dynamic. You have that presence credibility understanding. I mean, number one,
- 59:24you're taking care of yourself and people recognize that. And so I find when
- 59:32I neglect that portion of my life, it definitely puts me out of power
- 59:38and clarity and peace with other areas in my life. Charlie, absolutely,
- 59:45So I think it's important to find a way as we're going into the new
- 59:50year. So this is very typical people I'm gonna do an exercise thing and
- 59:52they never stick with it. So it's finding something like I'm gonna do whatever
- 59:57it is. I'm gonna pick something, but you've got to fix something that
- 1:00:00really fits in a line with your purpose and who you want to become,
- 1:00:02something bigger than yourself. So for me, just to get example, I
- 1:00:07turned fifty in November. I wanted to I wanted to look at longevity for
- 1:00:12my wife from my children. I'm like, Okay, that motivates me to
- 1:00:15go and do exercises and take care of myself. But just to say I'm
- 1:00:19going to go to the gym five days a week or something, You've got
- 1:00:22to figure out something more than just that. So encouraging people like how do
- 1:00:28you find that personal health? That peace and your personal health to me and
- 1:00:31you know, that's where I'm at and whatever that might be for you.
- 1:00:36Everybody's different. If it's it could be you know, just going walking ten
- 1:00:40thousand steps every day because that makes you feel good, you get outdoors.
- 1:00:44We talked about that environment. They're linked together. You're walking maybe with your
- 1:00:47spouse or significant other. Great, that's people. You can combine these things
- 1:00:52together, which is fantastic. If you can, I would encourage you to
- 1:00:59and you'll be able to find that piece. But one hundred percent agree with
- 1:01:02you, Charlie. Making sure we take care of our bodies long term is
- 1:01:06super important because it literally affects every part of every other aspect of our life.
- 1:01:13So yeah, thank you for tying that in. Yeah, because Tony
- 1:01:15Robbins talks about you know, when it comes to our well being, our
- 1:01:20health. He talks about the triad and that's physiology, that's our physical health.
- 1:01:24There's also your your focus, and your language. And so I'll start
- 1:01:30with focus as the next thing because I think that ties in with the our
- 1:01:35our our mental health in terms of what we focus on. So, Bill,
- 1:01:42I mean being a leadership guide. I'm sure you you you help leaders
- 1:01:46explore you know, in terms of that mental health dynamic, like you know,
- 1:01:51how to leverage their focus to be able to navigate their mental health,
- 1:01:54Like how can you share a little bit about that, you know, and
- 1:01:59we're trying to you know, be time sensitive to time as well. So
- 1:02:02like your sixty second version on that, Yeah, yeah, well, uh,
- 1:02:09mental health is an all too often overlooked aspect of one's health. What
- 1:02:15you focus on, you know, and what you are focused on is uh,
- 1:02:22is definitely important because if you, like any other unhealthy part of yourself,
- 1:02:31if your mind is unhealthy, then that's all you're going to be focused
- 1:02:37on. You know. Once once that becomes a problem, once it's no
- 1:02:40longer manageable, then then you really have to get help. And it's gonna
- 1:02:46be it's gonna be too late for a while you know, if you if
- 1:02:52you had taken proper precautions, then then I think, uh, I think
- 1:02:58it would have been a lot easier to to maintain, to manage yourself.
- 1:03:02Yeah, the mental health is fricking. It can become your it can become
- 1:03:07your own prison, right, So it's huge. So yeah, that last
- 1:03:13leg of the triad is so we have physiology, you know, how we
- 1:03:17use our body, position our body, and take care of our body,
- 1:03:22our focus in terms of our you know, take care of our mental health.
- 1:03:25Lastly, is is language. And we don't realize this, but it
- 1:03:32actually language is a phenomenon in which human beings experience life through. And the
- 1:03:38biggest thing, like we as much as we've liked to think we're creatures of
- 1:03:43logic and reason, we're not. We're creatures of emotion. And we use
- 1:03:47logic and reason to justify whatever choices that we make based on emotion. And
- 1:03:53so we can just get real about that and get in touch with our emotions.
- 1:03:58And that's why the language which parts critical and contributes to that area.
- 1:04:06You know, it's quite interesting. Every leadership meeting that we have at our
- 1:04:12company, we start off identifying our mood. We have a mood meter.
- 1:04:15It's got like, I don't know, maybe fifty different emotions so we can
- 1:04:20actually identify what we're experiencing and explore that. So, Stacey, can you
- 1:04:27share a little bit about, like how you've been able to leverage like language
- 1:04:33right, the language that you use talk to yourself, the language that you
- 1:04:38use to communicate with others, to be able to align with and be conscious
- 1:04:45right about prioritizing your emotional health. You know, that's been a great focus,
- 1:04:55a great journey that I've been on for the last several years. You
- 1:04:59know, Bible says out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaking,
- 1:05:02So whatever's in your heart people speak for. And so I really work towards
- 1:05:09guarding my heart and look for ways to just and how I do that is,
- 1:05:18you know, I do listen to different podcasts. I do a lot
- 1:05:21of reading about mindset, and so I actually do something that John Astrob has
- 1:05:29called inner size, and that that has been tremendous. But I really guard
- 1:05:33what I guard, what I view, what I hear, and I focus
- 1:05:41a lot on gratitude. I focus a lot on things that are beautiful in
- 1:05:46my life. Where I future is headed, the worst that I speak,
- 1:05:53am I am I perfect at it? No, but I do. That's
- 1:05:56my focus is to wake up and like I have a routine that I to
- 1:06:00make sure that I because it's easy for us to go into the negative.
- 1:06:02You wake up and you know, like right now it's raining, I'm like,
- 1:06:04Okay, I gotta walk in the rain. But I'm like, you
- 1:06:08know, I have to be grateful that we actually have water, you know
- 1:06:11that, you know, So I have to turn be conscientious of where my
- 1:06:15thoughts are going. And when I do have a negative thought is to quickly
- 1:06:21replace that with a positive thought. And the best way for me to do
- 1:06:25that is first focus on gratitude, but also look at my future. But
- 1:06:29you know, there was a time when I wasn't. I wasn't in that
- 1:06:31space. I mean, all I saw was the dark side of humanity and
- 1:06:35the crap that goes on in the world, and it's easy to stay in
- 1:06:39that space. But I also made sure that I didn't watch the news.
- 1:06:43I mean, one time I watched the news, I woke up, I
- 1:06:45was depressed, and I was like, why am I depressed? I don't,
- 1:06:47That's just not me. And then I realized, because I watched the
- 1:06:49news before I went to bed, So I said, okay, no more
- 1:06:51news before, you know, but I limit that and I surround myself with
- 1:06:57beauty, beauty of wards, beauty of uh, just gratitude, just anything
- 1:07:01that's going to help me to stay in that Like even when I have difficulty
- 1:07:08with people on my team, I look for ways to be grateful for them,
- 1:07:11I mean. And so it really comes down to gratitude and just protecting
- 1:07:15what I surround myself, the people that I surround myself with, the words
- 1:07:19that I hear, the music that I listen to. And I know this
- 1:07:23sounds richid, but that's the only way you can really guard your heart and
- 1:07:29is by guarding your exposure to the negativities of life. So what language that
- 1:07:35you expose yourself to, right, So what language you're exposed to? Me
- 1:07:40making sure I read I mean the books that I read, or listen to
- 1:07:45the people that I listen to. You know, it's funny. In my
- 1:07:48industry, there are people who entrepreneurship. There are people who listen to their
- 1:07:54broke friends. They want to start a business, and their broke friends will
- 1:07:57say, why are you starting that business? You know, you need to
- 1:07:59stay with the job So if I'm gonna have positive thoughts in my life and
- 1:08:02positive thoughts of succeeding and whatnot, why would I talk to broke friends.
- 1:08:05I would go and look at the people who are actually succeeding and who actually
- 1:08:09are doing something. And so again I watched my associations, I watch where
- 1:08:14I where I tread, because I know that you know, uh, what
- 1:08:17was that saying? The together that too? But a glove here's the thing,
- 1:08:23a glove, A clean glove can't make mud clean, but a dirty
- 1:08:28glove can make the glove clean glove dirty. In other words, the influence
- 1:08:32that the negativity has. And then I think I was was it John Astrov
- 1:08:36that said that? Or could have been Barb Proctor? I can't remember,
- 1:08:41But do you know that by the the the effect that negativity, negative thoughts
- 1:08:48and positive thoughts have, people say, well, if you just think more
- 1:08:51positively, then you would benefit from from that. And I think what I
- 1:08:58found was that by a litleliminating, you have more benefit by eliminating the negativity
- 1:09:02versus just keeping the negativity and having more positives. So really, really just
- 1:09:08eliminating the negativity in your life has a greater effect on your total well wellbeing.
- 1:09:14So that's you know, and I think a lot of people don't understand
- 1:09:16the importance of that. So yeah, thank you. No, I think
- 1:09:23all of us here can we can never stop, you know, sharing all
- 1:09:27the different things that we've got exposed to in terms of personal development. And
- 1:09:31so that ties in with a really great future episode where we could talk and
- 1:09:39dive deeper into emotion because that's essentially that's where are a mediola are the part
- 1:09:47of our brain that process emotion is that's the gateway to tap into our billionaire
- 1:09:54part of our brain, which is our hippocampus. And so, uh,
- 1:09:59David, would you agree that that's a whole different it's a whole other thing
- 1:10:02science and the way we think, And yeah, I would love I love
- 1:10:05the dial there And honestly, there's just so much we got you Charlie.
- 1:10:10You did a great job going through these components tonight and obviously we're just mining
- 1:10:15some of it. There's so much more there, right, So I appreciate
- 1:10:20you being the facilitator tonight. My pleasure. Yeah, So David will definitely
- 1:10:26be sharing the links to the or the link to the link free piece index
- 1:10:31assessment check that out. Help you identify where you are so that you can
- 1:10:38actually measure your growth and and your journey towards peace and so yeah, in
- 1:10:45the comments we have this here, just drop in the word piece so I
- 1:10:48know I'll send you a personal message. And again, all of us here,
- 1:10:55and we have different folks on this rotating in as as guests, but
- 1:11:00please reach out to any one of us that you've kind of resonated with that
- 1:11:03you've heard us share our own journeys. We're all on our own journeys here
- 1:11:09helping and sharing. Like you said, Charlie, we have our unique experiences
- 1:11:13in particular areas of business. But the whole purpose of this Business Roundtable podcast
- 1:11:18is to provide you context understanding you're not alone as a business owner or leader
- 1:11:23in your organization right and that there's out there that you could say, hey,
- 1:11:26can I just pick your brain a little bit understand like how did you
- 1:11:29get here? What worked? What didn't work? We're not We're not here.
- 1:11:33This is we're giving back. That's what there is, the time of
- 1:11:35season right of giving and gifts and fighting. This is not a cost thing.
- 1:11:40This is about we want to give back value and knowledge and hopefully you
- 1:11:44find it useful and if honestly, if you find something useful, there's a
- 1:11:47way for us to work together. We love that, but that's not in
- 1:11:50our goal here is really to help you. And I, like you said,
- 1:11:53say seed to serve, which I love that we're here to really serve
- 1:11:56you. And so I appreciate each one of you guys taking some time out
- 1:11:59tonight, Charlie being our facilidator right here before the holidays. It gives me
- 1:12:04a lot of peace, and I'm thankful for each one of you. Maybe
- 1:12:08we just do one quick moment, because I think this is a good peaceful
- 1:12:11time, just say one thing that you're thankful for to go at the end
- 1:12:14of the year that really truly brings you peace. We'll start with Bill,
- 1:12:17if you wouldn't mind, Sharon Bell, and then we'll go with Charlie and
- 1:12:19Stacey and I can I can close this out for the night. So Bill,
- 1:12:23what what's what are you thankful for? What brings you peace? I
- 1:12:28am thankful for my family, I know, just the total Sunday School answer,
- 1:12:34right, No, it beautiful, beautiful, how about you, Charlie.
- 1:12:42For me, it's actually boundaries, that's that's what's like I said,
- 1:12:46earlier boundaries have set me free. I'm grateful for boundaries. That's what's given
- 1:12:51me peace, because I didn't that was I was so clueless. That was
- 1:12:57such a remote concept, and so I had none, or I had weak
- 1:13:00boundaries. I would think other people's happiness is my responsibility, and that's not
- 1:13:05the case. If that was the case, I would never find peace,
- 1:13:08right So you know, Yeah, So I'm so glad that this year I
- 1:13:14came across a boundaries class. And so anyway, that's a whole separ's and
- 1:13:18that could be a whole other podcast, Charlie. I think we're building some
- 1:13:23episodes, future episodes, so stay tuned. How about you, Stacy,
- 1:13:27what are you thankful for? What brings you peace? Here? You know
- 1:13:29where I am in this season in my life. I'm grateful for the associations
- 1:13:33that I have. I have some pretty incredible not just leaders and mentors,
- 1:13:36but just people that are there to love me and support me. And just
- 1:13:40even you know, this group here, I feel like that we grow in
- 1:13:44relationship and so i feel like I'm in a period of strong growth right now.
- 1:13:48So I'm grateful for that. That's wonderful. Thank you guys so much.
- 1:13:53We will be recording again, so stay tuned for our next podcast we
- 1:13:58are I'm posting it on YouTube and will be broadening our broadcast so others can
- 1:14:02reach this message. If if you resonated with you, please share this with
- 1:14:05others. Encourage others to listen, follow along. We welcome your feedback on
- 1:14:10other ideas and topics, but until then, we wish you a wonderful Christmas
- 1:14:14season, Happy New Year. Thank you guys for joining us. Thank you,
- 1:14:17thank you Bill, thank you, Charlie Peace, thank you