Latest / Recovering Out Loud / From Crack Cocaine & Homelessness to Coaching Others :Mike’s Sobriety Journey

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From Crack Cocaine & Homelessness to Coaching Others :Mike’s Sobriety Journey · Recovering Out Loud

• 0:24
  Are you? Yeah, Cecilia.
• 0:25
  Nice fucking southern half and. Half man Yeah, we just got back.
• 0:29
  Yeah, I saw you were in there. Where did you go?
• 0:32
  So. This is wild man.
• 0:35
  My biological dad was adopted and he had left when I was like
• 0:41
  two or three. We met him a handful of times.
• 0:43
  We always talk to him like on birthdays, Christmases and
• 0:46
  stuff. He ended up passing away but my
• 0:49
  grandparents that adopted him would not give him any
• 0:53
  information they really like. Took it like to heart for him.
• 0:57
  Even asking like I I kind of need to know where I'm from
• 1:00
  'cause he had health issues right?
• 1:01
  And he wanted to make sure it didn't.
• 1:03
  It wasn't like a genetic thing to pass down on my sister and I.
• 1:07
  Anyways, Long story short, I did a a pretty intense DNA test and
• 1:12
  it came back and it was like, you're Sicilian bro.
• 1:15
  Like this is basically where your family's from an area in
• 1:18
  Sicily called Syracusa. Oh yeah, yeah.
• 1:20
  Yeah, man, like right, right on the water.
• 1:22
  And it was like, damn. So it was pretty profound, man.
• 1:26
  I mean, we're kind of always looking for that answer right in
• 1:29
  recovery. I think of like, you know, who
• 1:32
  am I? So for me it was, it was a cool
• 1:35
  experience, man. And and my dad, biological dad
• 1:38
  had passed away. So it was a good feeling to like
• 1:40
  be able to go down there and just like touch the soil on
• 1:43
  where, where are some of the familias.
• 1:45
  From where it all started. Yeah, Yeah, bro.
• 1:47
  Yeah. I went to, we went to Sardania.
• 1:48
  Have you ever been to Sardania? It's like that.
• 1:50
  It's one of my. Dream spots.
• 1:51
  You got to go there. The beaches are beautiful.
• 1:53
  Unbelievable. We, yeah.
• 1:54
  On my, on our honeymoon, my wife and I went to Sicily and
• 1:58
  Sardania. And, you know, they're both
• 2:00
  beautiful in their own ways. But Sardania had these clear,
• 2:04
  beautiful beaches where it's just like, and you know, you
• 2:09
  wanna find, in my opinion, you wanna find God, spirituality,
• 2:14
  you know, that's a good place to start, right?
• 2:15
  Just being in nature and you know.
• 2:18
  Yeah, it's, it's definitely it's a different lifestyle over there
• 2:20
  too, right? Like I, I understand we're
• 2:22
  looking through a tourist or a vacation eyes lens.
• 2:27
  Sure. Excuse me, but at the same time,
• 2:31
  it's like, like we were there for over 2 weeks.
• 2:34
  Like we got acquainted, like we spent quite a bit of time in an
• 2:37
  area called Catania and we did a couple days in Palermo.
• 2:41
  It was a little too fast-paced for us just coming from Toronto,
• 2:45
  right? And it's just, yeah, man, I
• 2:47
  mean, it is what it is. It was still a good experience.
• 2:51
  Beautiful spot. We just preferred Catania.
• 2:53
  And it was like, we like befriended it like a lot of
• 2:56
  like, you know, the people, the servers and, and everything,
• 2:59
  man. And they're great.
• 3:00
  Like it was, it was such an amazing experience.
• 3:03
  But you're absolutely right to say find God, higher power
• 3:06
  spirituality. I mean, when you're sober, when
• 3:10
  you're clear minded to take in that culture and that that
• 3:16
  architecture, like, I don't know how many churches we went into.
• 3:19
  I don't know how many times we just stopped and like looked at
• 3:22
  a building. It was like there were some
• 3:25
  very, very, very profound aha moments.
• 3:28
  One of like, bro, I was smoking out of a pop.
• 3:32
  Can you know years ago I had done buck and blow for 20 years.
• 3:38
  Like I've seen some stuff, right?
• 3:40
  And to be able to be there with my fiance, she's experiencing it
• 3:45
  as well too. It's like it's indescribable.
• 3:48
  It's just like a postcard moment.
• 3:49
  It's just like seriously man, like and it's, it's, you know, I
• 3:56
  suffered with massive self esteem issues.
• 3:58
  Like I never pictured that I could do something like that,
• 4:01
  right? I was scared shitless bro, to go
• 4:03
  and get my passport renewed. I was scared.
• 4:06
  Of what was going to come up. Yeah, like I did what?
• 4:09
  Yeah, yeah, exactly. You know, and it's just like I,
• 4:12
  it's just that fear of judgement, you know, they work
• 4:14
  for the government, like, oh, blah, blah, blah.
• 4:16
  And it's just like, it's like anything else, bro.
• 4:19
  You make shit up in your head and it's these crazy scenarios
• 4:22
  and it's like, oh, and then you go in and it's like, yeah, you
• 4:26
  got your paperwork done. Here you go, Mike.
• 4:28
  Yeah, yeah, I do. OK, cool.
• 4:30
  And it's like, wait, what? That's it.
• 4:32
  You're. Not gonna cuff me, yeah.
• 4:33
  Yeah. And then you pay for it and it
• 4:35
  comes express. And it's like, oh, like, hey,
• 4:38
  wow, I'm a person on paper again.
• 4:39
  Like I ran so many years with what's called, like, an NFA,
• 4:42
  like, no fixed address. Like, you know, that that was
• 4:45
  just a stage in my life. I was just a couch surfer and I
• 4:48
  couldn't hold jobs down. And I was just, to be very
• 4:51
  blunt, I was, I was fucked. I was hurting, man.
• 4:53
  Yeah, yeah. And it, it becomes this new
• 4:56
  baseline, this new reality where you're like, well, I guess this
• 4:58
  is my life now, you know, and. It's it's very difficult man, to
• 5:02
  explain. And again, like, you know, my
• 5:05
  dad, when I say my dad, he's like, he came into my life when
• 5:07
  I was free. Just three story quick back
• 5:10
  story. Like he's my father, you know,
• 5:12
  so he used to say to me like doesn't doesn't a bell go off in
• 5:17
  your head, man? Like, and when I tried to
• 5:20
  explain to them like my normalcy is survival mode, that's what it
• 5:26
  is man. I don't feel comfortable if
• 5:29
  things are going right. I'm purposely like, well, I
• 5:32
  don't want to say purposely, but I guess like subconsciously,
• 5:34
  like I'm going to step on a landmine, bro, and I'm going to
• 5:36
  blow shit up because that's where I feel comfortable.
• 5:40
  If there's money in the bank, it's like we got to fucking
• 5:43
  spend this. If things are going well at
• 5:46
  work, I'm already thinking in my head like, oh, they're going to
• 5:48
  fire me for something. Like it's madness.
• 5:51
  So hence the solution for me was booze because it slowed me down.
• 5:58
  And then I did the complete opposite and fucking did massive
• 6:00
  key bumps. And not to glorify it, but and I
• 6:03
  just. You know, because you're always
• 6:05
  looking for that next thing, alcohol stops working, the
• 6:07
  cocaine stops working. But in my scenario, I started
• 6:09
  smoking meth because it was there.
• 6:11
  And you mean I'm gonna feel different than I feel right now.
• 6:13
  OK, I'll try that, you know. Yeah, and, and again, I talk
• 6:16
  about it very openly. You know, I went through a three
• 6:20
  month period where I was a a a binger on, you know, rock crack
• 6:27
  and it led to a very, very scary spot.
• 6:31
  And you know, it was E Hastings and it was like, I would go out
• 6:35
  and I would grab some beers and I would be shit, dude.
• 6:37
  I'd be in like Yale town sometimes, which is like an
• 6:40
  upper, like a Yorkville. Vancouver.
• 6:42
  Vancouver, yeah. And then I would go down to like
• 6:45
  Gas Town and everything was cool, but like the monster woke
• 6:49
  up after, you know, 3 pints and two shots of tequila.
• 6:52
  I knew where to go, I knew where the guy would be.
• 6:54
  And I'd go to my alleyway by myself and just fucking crank it
• 6:59
  for as long as I could, as long as the money lasted.
• 7:02
  And then literally call in sick for work like 4 days in a row,
• 7:06
  man, on repeat. And it was just like holy shit,
• 7:10
  dude. Like, like I gotta get out of
• 7:12
  here, man. Yeah, yeah.
• 7:14
  So before I ask you this question, I I do want to say,
• 7:17
  you know, you mentioned the power of social media.
• 7:19
  It's a cool thing. You know, there's a lot of
• 7:21
  negativity in social. You know, there's also a lot of
• 7:22
  positivity. Yeah, absolutely.
• 7:23
  And I reached out to you online because I love what you're
• 7:25
  doing, man. I love your videos.
• 7:27
  I appreciate it. Yeah, and I don't think, you
• 7:30
  know, I think a lot of people can relate to what you've been
• 7:33
  through and and, you know, seeing somebody come through it,
• 7:36
  get through it and be on the other side, living happy, joyous
• 7:39
  and free. Going to Italy.
• 7:41
  Yeah. What a fucking miracle, right?
• 7:43
  Like, yeah. And somebody, you know, people
• 7:45
  are watching that. And I know for for me, it's
• 7:46
  like, Oh yeah, you know, anything is possible, right?
• 7:50
  I can be sober and have fun, you know?
• 7:52
  Yeah, Yeah. I don't need to live, you know,
• 7:54
  paycheck to paycheck and you know, smoking my life away or
• 7:57
  doing whatever to have fun and and find happiness, you know?
• 8:01
  Yeah, exactly right. Like happiness, happiness can be
• 8:08
  found in chaos as well, too, right?
• 8:10
  Like just because I'm sober today, as you are or anybody
• 8:14
  that is, doesn't mean that we're exempt from anything.
• 8:16
  Life still happens, bro. I still fall into fears.
• 8:20
  I still have moments where like thank God, I have the fiance,
• 8:24
  the wife that I do, you know, she checks me.
• 8:27
  She she can call me out on stuff and and vice versa, right?
• 8:30
  But you know, people ask a, a lot of people will ask me like
• 8:35
  in sobriety, are you happy? And I'm like, I, I don't know
• 8:39
  what is happiness, bro, I'll tell you this.
• 8:41
  I have peace with myself and, and that's it, right?
• 8:45
  Happiness, I find is like you hit a goal, you're happy about
• 8:48
  it, but it, it goes away, right? Oh, you went to Italy.
• 8:52
  That was unbelievable, man. But I'm back here in Toronto
• 8:57
  now, right? So it's like, I try not to put
• 9:01
  any, what's the word that I'm looking for?
• 9:04
  Like dependency on something I identified for so many years
• 9:08
  with the address. I had the car that I drove, a
• 9:11
  watch that I was wearing, you know, and it was just like, it
• 9:14
  was a mask, bro. Like I, I was considered a, a
• 9:17
  lot of my life, a high functioning fucking drunk dude
• 9:21
  is what I was just a party animal, right?
• 9:24
  So, yeah, dude, it's, it's sobriety is it's, it's
• 9:29
  unbelievable. You know, I don't think to me,
• 9:32
  at least in my experience, Anthony, there's no greater gift
• 9:36
  than just loving who you are as a person.
• 9:40
  And for a man to admit that, trust me dude, I work with a lot
• 9:43
  of people and that's a very difficult thing for us to
• 9:47
  establish. Yeah, there's a lot of cultural,
• 9:49
  social norms. Don't.
• 9:51
  You're not supposed to show fear.
• 9:53
  You know you're not supposed to cry, right?
• 9:55
  You just rub some dirt on it and you move on.
• 9:57
  Right. Yeah, exactly.
• 9:58
  And, you know, guys like you are are reversing that.
• 10:00
  I don't think it'll ever go away.
• 10:02
  But, you know, that stigma is it's lessening every day, right?
• 10:05
  Yeah. So what was there a moment for
• 10:07
  you? What what was that moment where
• 10:09
  you kind of found yourself like, I got to do something.
• 10:12
  I got to change my life. I got to change.
• 10:14
  I got to get better. I mean, it was a long journey
• 10:17
  dude, like over 20 years. I started, you know, my first
• 10:24
  alcoholic drink was when I was like 14.
• 10:27
  You know, I I went into my parents liquor cabinet and like
• 10:31
  back in the day we used to have what was called Bush bashes.
• 10:34
  We literally just go drink in the forest with like fucking
• 10:37
  fifty of us. And you know, from there it was,
• 10:41
  I was at a party once and I was 17 years old and I got
• 10:44
  introduced to cocaine and I was never big into like smoking weed
• 10:48
  or doing mushrooms. I don't, I don't know.
• 10:49
  I just didn't like it. And it took a, a little bit of
• 10:53
  convincing from a couple of my buddies, but I did it.
• 10:56
  And like, dude fell in love. I'm not gonna lie.
• 11:00
  But the, you know, there was a lot of moments, man, of like, I
• 11:04
  think there's a big difference of like, I need help and I want
• 11:08
  help. I knew I needed help.
• 11:10
  Like everything was being destroyed around me numerous,
• 11:15
  numerous, numerous times. I still to this day do not know,
• 11:20
  you know, I kind of get choked up over this is like how my
• 11:24
  family stuck by, you know, like I can't even fathom what that's
• 11:28
  like to witness somebody that you know, is your son, your
• 11:32
  brother of just like kid. But the last time was I was
• 11:39
  working in the restaurant industry.
• 11:41
  It was a very predominant place that I was at.
• 11:45
  It was very, very busy. It was, you know, located around
• 11:49
  Queen and Ossington. And I was making really good
• 11:52
  money. And, you know, every everything
• 11:57
  on the outside seemed amazing. I had a nice condo downtown.
• 12:00
  You know, I had my dog. People see me around, but
• 12:03
  Anthony, honestly, like I was fucking dying inside, man.
• 12:06
  I use this term of like, I was sleepwalking while totally
• 12:09
  awake, man. Like I was just spiritually dead
• 12:12
  inside, man. Nothing made me anything.
• 12:17
  I was just like, anyways, I was a friend of mine.
• 12:24
  We went in that, Long story short, a couple people were down
• 12:27
  from Italy. So we went and showed them
• 12:29
  around. So I always say this, we took
• 12:30
  them down to King Street. We did the King Street shuffle.
• 12:33
  I love that 'cause I call it, or we call it in the industry down
• 12:36
  here. And I, I, you know, we went into
• 12:39
  a club and my buddy was the bar manager there and we always got
• 12:43
  taken care of. You know, the, the Goodfellas in
• 12:45
  here, you don't wait in line, you don't pay cover.
• 12:48
  You know, I mean, you're basically walked right to the
• 12:51
  spot where you want to go, You know, you don't have to fight
• 12:54
  crowds. Bam, you don't even ask. 2-3
• 12:58
  bottles are put in a bucket for you.
• 12:59
  Have a good night. You know, and at that time I was
• 13:02
  single, you know, there was women around.
• 13:04
  I had a bag on me and something I, I still don't even know how
• 13:08
  to explain it, bro. I, I like, it's like the music.
• 13:12
  The room stopped at one point and I looked around and I was
• 13:16
  like, there's got to be 300 people in here.
• 13:18
  And I have everything that I thought I ever wanted.
• 13:22
  And I've never been so lonely, man.
• 13:23
  I've never been so lonely. I can't explain it, dude.
• 13:27
  I looked around, my feet literally just started moving.
• 13:31
  I just walked out of the bar and I was like, I'm fucking done,
• 13:34
  bro. Like I can't do this any.
• 13:37
  I'm in my 40s, dude. And I'm I'm like there's a
• 13:41
  physical death. I was dead as a person man.
• 13:44
  Like I had no meaning and purpose.
• 13:46
  I got up hungover every fucking day, dragged my ass into work,
• 13:51
  worked let's say 8 to 10 to 12 hours, collected a paycheck,
• 13:55
  went and did the same thing. I said there's got to be more to
• 13:58
  life than this man. There has to be bro.
• 14:01
  And that was it. I took my dog for a huge walk
• 14:04
  and went ghost didn't tell a single soul because I knew if I
• 14:09
  did, I'd be doing it for the wrong reasons.
• 14:11
  I, I had, I suffered with ego too, right?
• 14:14
  So I, I, I thrived off that validation man, right?
• 14:18
  It, it was like a drug to me as well.
• 14:19
  Like I hated myself. So I needed to get it from
• 14:22
  somewhere and, and that was it. And I said I'm going to do 6
• 14:27
  months, 6. I can't A-75 hard, dude.
• 14:30
  Like I could do it, but it's not sorry.
• 14:34
  It's not long enough for me bro. Like none of that is.
• 14:36
  And this can't be a challenge. This has to be a complete
• 14:39
  lifestyle change. And that was it dude.
• 14:41
  And I set up like a, you know, kind of thing, A lot of things
• 14:45
  that I learnt over the the time put together.
• 14:48
  I guess you just call it my program.
• 14:50
  It's what I use with individuals today.
• 14:52
  And I just said fuck it bro, I am dialing in on this.
• 14:57
  No social media, no women, no booze, no nothing.
• 15:01
  Early wake up times, everything was set, boom boom boom boom
• 15:03
  boom boom. And I stuck to it man.
• 15:07
  And yeah, life has molested me today.
• 15:12
  Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's beautiful.
• 15:16
  I can I can relate to that moment where it you you don't,
• 15:20
  it doesn't really make sense. Looking back, you're like, why?
• 15:23
  I had no real reason or push or anything to for me, it was, it
• 15:30
  was similar, but a little bit different.
• 15:32
  But I mean, the feelings are all the same.
• 15:34
  And that's what I find when I come into recovery.
• 15:35
  It's like, even though, you know, buddy lived under a bridge
• 15:38
  for 10 years, we're the same person because I can relate to
• 15:41
  that despair that that hate of myself.
• 15:44
  And so for me, it was, you know, I was hotel hopping, my wife had
• 15:48
  kicked me out and I was at the Fairmont Royal York, right near
• 15:52
  my place. And I run.
• 15:55
  I had run out of money, but not drugs.
• 15:56
  I had, I had as much cocaine as I wanted because I was buying it
• 16:00
  off the dark web and I had it like it was a whole thing.
• 16:03
  Wow, Yeah, I, I learned how to operate on the dark web like
• 16:08
  we're, we're fucking, you know, we're, we're very functional.
• 16:11
  People, you know, I, I always say like, we're resourceful.
• 16:14
  Yeah, if you own a car lot and you need to hit your sales quote
• 16:17
  at the end of the month, put three people in there that are
• 16:20
  in recovery, dude, we'll have that fucking lot cleared in in a
• 16:24
  day. With new strategies.
• 16:26
  And yeah, it's so true, man. And so, like, I, you know, I say
• 16:29
  that today because back then it wasn't a big deal, but like, it
• 16:32
  was a difficult thing to, to, to navigate, right?
• 16:34
  Yeah. And I'm breaking so, you know,
• 16:36
  anyways, so I'm in the hotel. I ran out of money and I must
• 16:41
  have spent, I'm like, not even kidding you, Mike, probably 5
• 16:43
  hours on my phone trying to like, maybe you can relate to
• 16:47
  this, transfer funds around and like make money available and
• 16:51
  like find some miracle where I was able to stay at the hotel
• 16:53
  another night And it just, it wasn't happening.
• 16:55
  It just, you know, I every, all these things were going wrong
• 16:58
  that day. To your point, it's like I was
• 17:01
  pushed into, I was like kind of guided into stopping and I had
• 17:05
  known where to go. I had known that I need to go to
• 17:07
  rehab. I knew which one I was going to
• 17:08
  like, it was all in the cards, but I wasn't ready yet.
• 17:10
  And it wasn't ready yet. And so there's that final
• 17:12
  moment, You know, I ordered my Uber Eats like I typically do
• 17:15
  because that was my only meal of the day was like that breakfast
• 17:18
  waking up, not breakfast. I wasn't up in the morning, But
• 17:20
  yeah, no. And it got delivered like four
• 17:23
  blocks away to the wrong build. It's just all these things.
• 17:26
  And like, I was trudging to go get that and I had no money.
• 17:29
  And it just like boom, boom, boom, all these hits were
• 17:31
  coming. And I'm but we still keep trying
• 17:34
  to go a. 100% you're like, well, there's, it's, it's this
• 17:37
  insanity of doing things differently, expecting a
• 17:39
  different result. You know, I'm, I'm, you're
• 17:41
  looking forward to whatever fun you have in that bag later
• 17:44
  tonight. But there's no fun, right?
• 17:46
  There's the fun was done a while ago, you know, And so I'm at
• 17:50
  this hotel. The lady is telling me to my
• 17:51
  face, you know, I'm trying to wiggle out a deal with her or
• 17:54
  something. She's straight up telling me I'm
• 17:56
  getting kicked out of the hotel and my stuff, all my drugs are
• 17:58
  scattered all over the table in my room.
• 18:00
  She goes, the security guards coming down to escort you out
• 18:03
  and I'm standing in the lobby. It's like, you know, 1:00 in the
• 18:06
  afternoon. No, it's like 5:00 in the
• 18:07
  afternoon, way past my check out time.
• 18:09
  He's coming to keep me. All these fears just I'm going
• 18:12
  to jail. I'm this that I'm getting how
• 18:14
  embarrassing. I need to fucking go to rehab,
• 18:16
  right? Oh my God, I'm waiting in the
• 18:18
  lobby for this guy to come down. Felt like 3 hours for him to
• 18:21
  come downstairs, right? Because I'm just paralyzed.
• 18:24
  Everyone in the hotel in my mind is looking at me and judging me,
• 18:27
  right? I know I'm painting a picture
• 18:29
  here because you could probably. Relate.
• 18:30
  This is my life, yeah. And this guy comes down, he
• 18:34
  looks like a James Bond. You know, he looks like a a
• 18:36
  character in James Bond suit. He's got the earpiece in.
• 18:39
  I'm. I'm going to jail 100%.
• 18:40
  This guy comes up. You Anthony?
• 18:42
  Yeah. OK, let's go to your room.
• 18:44
  We share the elevator up. It's me and him in the elevator.
• 18:47
  Just the the longest elevator ride in my real life, even
• 18:50
  though it's like fucking six floors.
• 18:51
  We get up, I get out of the elevator and I'm just like I
• 18:54
  look at the guy and and I must have looked so broken.
• 18:57
  I just go, dude, can you just like, give me a few minutes to
• 19:00
  like, pack my stuff up and, like, leave me alone?
• 19:02
  And I think he could just tell that I was having a rough time.
• 19:05
  He just looked at me. He goes, oh, yeah, no, of course
• 19:07
  you're good. I'll come back in like 20
• 19:08
  minutes and probably seen it. This is probably nothing, right?
• 19:12
  It's just a Tuesday. And so I pack up all my stuff
• 19:16
  and I call my wife. And you know, you to your point,
• 19:18
  my, you know, my, my wife came and saved the day.
• 19:21
  I don't know how she stuck by me, but I said I'm done.
• 19:24
  I'm ready to come home. Yeah, I went home.
• 19:26
  I gave her all my drugs and I said let's let's go to, to rehab
• 19:29
  and I detox for the next couple days.
• 19:30
  But yeah, I, I, I look at that as a spiritual experience today
• 19:33
  because I had every reason to just go and use drugs under a
• 19:36
  bridge somewhere because I had them all right.
• 19:38
  But I was done, you know? I mean, rock bottoms have trap
• 19:41
  doors and I, I think everybody has a different rock bottom.
• 19:45
  You don't have to burn your life to the ground.
• 19:49
  You know, I did multiple times over and over.
• 19:52
  It became literally like an art to me.
• 19:55
  I could find a job within 2-3 days and unfortunately, you know
• 20:01
  that that kept me, as we say, kept me out there.
• 20:04
  You know, my, my rock bottom. Honestly, it, it had to be like
• 20:08
  you. It sounds like just an emotional
• 20:11
  state of complete fucking disaster bro like.
• 20:16
  It, it was just like I, I, I don't even care about work right
• 20:20
  now. Nothing.
• 20:21
  I just, I need to fix me. And then that was the profound
• 20:25
  moment, as you said, right? And, and I think those moments
• 20:28
  are the biggest gifts, like you said, the spiritual awakening,
• 20:33
  however you want to look at it, it's like it is such a gift that
• 20:36
  that happened to me. So I think it's it's not funny.
• 20:42
  It's just it's the way we look at our worst circumstance is our
• 20:47
  greatest, you know, gift. Absolutely right.
• 20:51
  And it's yeah, man, it's cool to see people emerge from that and,
• 20:55
  and come out. It's, you know, it's kind of a
• 20:57
  corny cliche saying, but it's like the cocoon to butterfly
• 21:00
  moment, man, It's amazing. And you get to do that now.
• 21:03
  So do you want to talk a little bit about what you're doing now
• 21:05
  and what your, you know your passion is with, with helping
• 21:08
  others? Yeah, like I, I was involved in
• 21:12
  the restaurant industry. I was actually, I went back to a
• 21:16
  restaurant. They're they're amazing.
• 21:19
  Love the guys there. They were fucking, you know,
• 21:22
  I'll just say this. They were like minded and it
• 21:26
  was, it was awesome, man. Excuse me.
• 21:30
  So I, I was working there. I had hired a coach maybe six
• 21:37
  months to a year before that. He's walked the same life as me.
• 21:41
  But I knew that I wanted to be able to share my story.
• 21:46
  And, and I'll be honest with you, it was a very difficult
• 21:50
  thing for me to say. I want to do this for a living,
• 21:55
  but I can't pay rent with, you know what I mean?
• 21:58
  Good gestures and answering phone calls like I need to make
• 22:02
  money and, and it, it was hard for me to to accept that
• 22:07
  anyways, we worked through that. My coach and I big dog Dave
• 22:11
  shout out brother, He's, he's the fucking man, dude.
• 22:13
  Yeah. And, and that was it, dude.
• 22:16
  So what I'm doing now is I run essentially a coaching business,
• 22:21
  right? I personally don't like to put a
• 22:24
  title on it. You know, there I, I work with
• 22:26
  individuals that hey man, they party on the weekends.
• 22:30
  They're just take alcohol and take drugs away, Anthony.
• 22:35
  Most people from my experience that I speak with, they're stuck
• 22:40
  under one category, let's call it.
• 22:41
  And it's limited beliefs, man. That's what it comes down to.
• 22:45
  It's change. Change, sorry.
• 22:49
  The cycle that they're in is just a normalcy and a comfort
• 22:52
  zone and they don't know how to break out of it, right?
• 22:55
  And the fear is greater than looking even at change, right?
• 23:01
  So for us, I had to separate from everybody.
• 23:05
  Like I, I don't fuck with anybody from my past.
• 23:08
  I'm not saying they're bad people.
• 23:10
  It's just hey, bro, you're going this way, no problem.
• 23:14
  I'm going this way. And that's it for me.
• 23:17
  I've seen it time and time again where I end up, right?
• 23:21
  And if you ever want to like look at something different in
• 23:24
  your life, I'm over here and I'll answer the phone for you,
• 23:26
  bro. But yeah, man, I do.
• 23:28
  I do one-on-one coaching right now.
• 23:30
  It's, it's been a blessing. You know, I had to answer 3
• 23:34
  simple questions to myself, Anthony, when I decided to do
• 23:36
  this and as, as, as my coach and I call it like, you got to go
• 23:41
  all in bro, right? Like anything in life, I find if
• 23:44
  you're walking along a fence, you're going to fall one way or
• 23:47
  the other, right? So I had to face those fears.
• 23:49
  I had to go up against it. I had to believe in myself.
• 23:52
  I knew I had a lot of value. I knew I wanted to help people,
• 23:56
  but the three things was am I passionate about it?
• 23:59
  And, and yeah, I, I, I wake up and like, I love what I do, man.
• 24:04
  I absolutely fucking love it, dude.
• 24:08
  There is no bonus. There is no big paycheck.
• 24:12
  There is no anything to me compared to when you witness
• 24:17
  somebody else the light bulb. Goes off.
• 24:20
  That sparkle goes off in their eye.
• 24:22
  They call you and they're just like holy fuck bro.
• 24:25
  Like, I just went to a big baseball game, brother Silver
• 24:29
  man, and it was amazing. And it's like, yeah, small to
• 24:33
  some people, but to an individual that's just been
• 24:36
  fucking dependent on alcohol for how many years and doing key
• 24:39
  bumps in the bathroom to go and eat a bag of popcorn and slam a
• 24:42
  2 liter of pop. Like that's a miracle, bro.
• 24:46
  So yeah. And then so that's one passion.
• 24:48
  The other thing is is obsession. And I had to be OK with that
• 24:53
  because I'll turn anything into cocaine, bro.
• 24:56
  It better be a healthy thing, man, right?
• 24:59
  I don't know balance, dude, to say like, I just don't.
• 25:02
  And, and nor do I think any entrepreneur.
• 25:05
  Like we talked earlier and you said like, I'm obsessed with
• 25:07
  this. I'm shooting this many things a
• 25:09
  day, right? And it's like, yeah, there's
• 25:11
  that. And then my coach asked me, you
• 25:14
  know, and, and I said, like the third thing I I need to do,
• 25:17
  nobody else can do this for me is its action.
• 25:20
  My coach can give me every single recipe.
• 25:22
  I can read every Alex Hermozi book.
• 25:24
  I can read Atomic Habits 12, sorry, whatever.
• 25:29
  And it's like a podcast, a book, nothing, nothing.
• 25:33
  I can literally know everything there is about Stoism and Marcus
• 25:38
  Aurelius and Epictetus or whatever.
• 25:40
  And it's just like, Nah, bro, can you show up every single day
• 25:44
  for yourself? And that's what I do, man, you
• 25:47
  know, and there's days where I'm just like, oh fuck, dude, like I
• 25:51
  don't want to face the camera today.
• 25:53
  But hey, you know what, guess what, bro?
• 25:55
  I share about that. I don't hide anything.
• 25:57
  Like I'm not out here to say I'm better than I'm perfect.
• 26:00
  I make X amount of money in my life.
• 26:02
  Is this sure, I'm proud of myself of where I've got to.
• 26:05
  And I want to highlight not the materialism, the mindset, the
• 26:10
  person that you can build and become in order to get to that
• 26:14
  in your life, man. And, and it's, it's amazing.
• 26:17
  So it's going really, really well, man.
• 26:21
  You know, there's a formula with social media.
• 26:23
  Yeah, I'm learning that there's the algorithm.
• 26:26
  And trust me, like my coach worked with me for six months
• 26:30
  and I was probably his hardest client.
• 26:32
  Like, I just, I'm fucking stubborn.
• 26:34
  Yeah. I'm like, fuck this, I'm
• 26:37
  algorithm, blah, blah, blah. But hey man, here's here, here,
• 26:41
  here's here's where things really started to escalate for
• 26:44
  me is when I started speaking my truth.
• 26:47
  Authentic. Authenticity wins every single
• 26:50
  time. I stayed away from this bullshit
• 26:52
  of edits and fancy, you know, voice overs from somebody else.
• 26:57
  I mean, yo, Dana White, David Goggins, they got amazing shit
• 27:01
  to save. But that's not me, bro.
• 27:03
  And I just said fuck it. And the first video that I came
• 27:05
  out with, he was like, what have you done, Mike?
• 27:07
  I was like, dude, I've done some fucking really crazy stuff.
• 27:10
  I was like, I was like, bro, I dude, I used to smoke crack on
• 27:15
  East Hastings and I drank puddle water once and he was like, bam,
• 27:19
  that's it, dude. And that went, that video went
• 27:22
  viral. But it's not the video going
• 27:24
  viral, Anthony. It's the connections that I got
• 27:27
  to speak with people. That's what I was going.
• 27:29
  To ask you and like that's social media today isn't for me
• 27:34
  to validate. I look at value.
• 27:36
  Can I put out value so somebody else doesn't feel alone, maybe
• 27:41
  watching this video or someone else can identify with it and go
• 27:44
  like, holy shit, dude, come again?
• 27:47
  I I'm not crazy. Yeah, yeah, man.
• 27:50
  Yeah, me too, right? Yeah, the me toos.
• 27:52
  Yeah, the me. Toos, I did that too.
• 27:54
  Fuck, you know, or I felt like that.
• 27:56
  I'm not alone, you know? Yeah, you know.
• 27:59
  Have you gotten any messages recently that really stuck out
• 28:01
  to you? I get a lot, dude.
• 28:04
  That's awesome. You know, I, I truly do, you
• 28:07
  know, not not to like score brownie points.
• 28:10
  Stuff like this means the world to me, man.
• 28:12
  You know, like I was part of a a group.
• 28:16
  I don't know if you know what school is school is an app where
• 28:19
  Alex Hermosi started and they build communities.
• 28:21
  Anyways, I was part of this thing and and you know, one of
• 28:24
  my goals was one day I would love to be able to be on like a
• 28:27
  podcast. This doesn't need to be Joe
• 28:29
  Rogan. This is just like, yo, man, I,
• 28:32
  I, I love it. I think that it would be
• 28:33
  amazing. So yeah, things like this, I
• 28:35
  mean, I get messages of like some are very, very hard to hear
• 28:40
  and some are very, very hard to read because I personally find
• 28:44
  it so difficult dealing with the individual that's not in the
• 28:48
  situation. So it's a wife, right?
• 28:50
  Or it's a husband. And it's like, what do I do?
• 28:53
  So how do you? I'm always truthful and I'm
• 28:56
  always honest. But there's a delivery I find
• 28:58
  where it's just like you can't do anything.
• 29:01
  You didn't, you know, you, you didn't create it, you didn't
• 29:04
  'cause it or what is? It can't cure.
• 29:05
  It can't cure it. You can't control it, right?
• 29:07
  And it's like you have to take care of yourself and, you know,
• 29:12
  but yeah, man, I mean, I'll be honest.
• 29:16
  Today I got a text, an individual that I'm working
• 29:19
  with, and it simply said this 10 weeks sober those are.
• 29:23
  The best, yeah. Bro, like I get goosebumps, man,
• 29:27
  and it's it's not me. Like I simply lay things out and
• 29:32
  say here's what we're going to do.
• 29:33
  You have to do it though, right? Like I can't, I'll hold you
• 29:37
  accountable. Absolutely, man.
• 29:39
  I call it tough love, call it whatever the fuck you want, man.
• 29:42
  It's like, yo, I want to see you live the best version of
• 29:45
  yourself and there's gonna don't fucking kid yourself.
• 29:48
  There's more hard days than there is fucking good days in
• 29:50
  the beginning, right, Yep, Yep. But yeah, absolutely man, just
• 29:54
  just ones like that, like I got a message just the other day and
• 29:59
  do you want me to read 1? Sure.
• 30:02
  It was like. Yeah, this, this makes my day.
• 30:05
  I'm starting to get a little bit more too.
• 30:07
  Yeah, absolutely. Where is this individual?
• 30:13
  Give me one second here, buddy. Here it is.
• 30:15
  I don't have my glasses on but it says I have never had a
• 30:19
  substance issue. But I find your message
• 30:22
  resonates regardless. So I'm here for the good vibes
• 30:25
  and that you can do it. Inspiration and then she
• 30:29
  mentioned something about talk about expanding your target
• 30:32
  audience. Go Mike, keep going.
• 30:35
  So you know, like that's that's amazing, man.
• 30:39
  Like again, it's we take away the substance.
• 30:41
  We take away the blow, all the pain that we went through
• 30:44
  Anthony. The only thing is is we went
• 30:47
  down that road. Other people use booze.
• 30:52
  Other people. Social media.
• 30:54
  Social media bro, there is so. Many.
• 30:57
  Places to hide in plain sight in this world.
• 31:01
  Again, I, I, I'm not putting anyone on blast.
• 31:03
  I know individuals that fucking have more money than they know
• 31:06
  what to do with. They travel, they're fucking
• 31:09
  they're, they're, they're lost man.
• 31:11
  They, they the, the emotional thing for men.
• 31:15
  I find the maturity to catch up to where we are, I find takes a
• 31:19
  lot longer than than women. I was Peter Pan, bro.
• 31:23
  I was a 19 year old night acting like I was 19 years old, 40
• 31:26
  years old, running around on kinks.
• 31:27
  Invincible. Yeah, manchild, bro.
• 31:30
  Like, you know, stomping because every.
• 31:32
  It was everybody else's fault, man.
• 31:35
  Oh fuck. Damn dude, just.
• 31:37
  This victim mentality. Victim mentality, self pity.
• 31:40
  Poor Mikey. And hey bro, like I had to
• 31:43
  fucking rip that Band-Aid off. And I'll tell you man, I've I've
• 31:47
  been through some very, very scary situations in my life.
• 31:50
  Again, not to glorify them. I've been on some rock bottoms.
• 31:53
  There is nothing in the world that was more difficult than
• 31:57
  facing myself alone. I was for in my 40s, bro,
• 32:02
  bawling my eyes out on the floor in my condo because I was just
• 32:06
  fucking broken, dude. I didn't know what the fuck was
• 32:10
  going to happen with my life, man, right.
• 32:12
  And, and when you as a, as an addict, even as a person like
• 32:16
  you, you want some sense of control.
• 32:19
  And I had to just throw it all and be like, I, I don't know,
• 32:22
  I'm going to get up. I'm going to go to the gym, I'm
• 32:24
  going to do XYZ and that's it. And I got to let the rest fall
• 32:27
  where it's going to fall, man. And it was fucking scary, bro.
• 32:31
  It was very scary. I, I always say it's like I was
• 32:35
  taught to let go of the outcomes.
• 32:37
  And you just said that perfectly.
• 32:38
  It's like I'm gonna do what I have to do and to me today, I'm
• 32:41
  gonna do the next right thing, you know, or what is the next
• 32:43
  right thing? Well, you know, how about
• 32:46
  starting withholding the fucking door for somebody, you know,
• 32:48
  something simple as that. You know, as we were walking
• 32:51
  over here, you were, you know, and I, I love him.
• 32:54
  I love this about you already. But just saying like, hey, how's
• 32:57
  it going, man? You know, to, to the guy behind
• 32:59
  the desk or the guy at the gas station or yeah, you know, I, I
• 33:01
  forget that sometimes. That's love in of itself, you
• 33:04
  know, just be kind to people. Yeah, I mean, I was a people
• 33:07
  pleaser before. I definitely have my my
• 33:10
  boundaries today. And I am not afraid to say no.
• 33:14
  And I I'm proud of myself for that.
• 33:17
  But no, man, like I look it, I was, I was taught this by a very
• 33:23
  important person that came into my life early, early, early in
• 33:26
  in recovery. He was a sponsor of mine and he
• 33:28
  said once you get this, your life doesn't belong to you
• 33:32
  anymore. Bro it.
• 33:33
  We were selfish and self-centered for so many years.
• 33:37
  We are now here to be on as what he called kind of the front
• 33:41
  lines. We're here to help people and in
• 33:43
  whatever aspect that looks like, whether that's saying good
• 33:47
  morning, like there's people that have messaged me before and
• 33:50
  be like, bro, Are you sure you're not fucking still using
• 33:52
  blow or like I'm like, no, dude, like I have a lot of energy.
• 33:56
  Absolutely, but. That's why I love the blow.
• 33:59
  Yeah, it's like, I, I don't know, man.
• 34:01
  I just, I, I love what I do like it's, I have pinched me moments
• 34:06
  all the time and it's just I'm an empath and I don't want this
• 34:11
  to sound again. People take things certain ways
• 34:14
  I can. I have a good judge of character
• 34:17
  and a good sense. I believe I've worked in the
• 34:19
  restaurant industry for 20 years, bro.
• 34:21
  I've been around people my whole life and I can see when you walk
• 34:25
  around the city sometimes, man, and you can almost feel the
• 34:29
  energy of the tension that an individual, you can almost, you
• 34:34
  know what they're going through financial burden, fucking
• 34:37
  burnout, man. Here we go again.
• 34:39
  I got to go drink fucking margaritas.
• 34:41
  And I don't necessarily want to, but I don't know what to do.
• 34:46
  I've got rent to pay. I've got this to do.
• 34:48
  I got a car payment, you know, my credit card has got, you
• 34:51
  know, whatever. It's almost maxed out because of
• 34:54
  trips that I've been taking, right?
• 34:56
  So here's the hard truth, man. Eventually life catches up to
• 35:00
  you. It is inevitable.
• 35:02
  Every single human has to face themselves at one point in their
• 35:05
  life, and that looks different for everybody, right?
• 35:07
  Yeah. So.
• 35:10
  Well said. When you were in the restaurant
• 35:15
  industry, the bar industry, US addicts, I find that I'm really
• 35:20
  good at noticing other addicts like in addiction, in recovery
• 35:23
  too, but mainly in addiction. What was that like?
• 35:25
  Kind of like noticing people come in, you know, did you have
• 35:27
  regulars that you were kind of like, fuck this guy's like
• 35:29
  really going through it right now?
• 35:31
  What was that like? Like when I was still in it or
• 35:35
  like it. I mean Harding or just in
• 35:37
  general? And how did that change too?
• 35:39
  Yeah, both like. The thing is, is the restaurant
• 35:43
  that I ended up, the last place that I worked at had no as, as I
• 35:48
  call it, party vibe in it. It was what's called a fast
• 35:52
  casual. Again, I always keep the names
• 35:53
  out of it and, and it was super cool.
• 35:56
  Like I said, the people that I worked with were fucking dialed
• 35:59
  in, man. We we spoke the same.
• 36:00
  Land just working on themselves. Yeah, exactly, man.
• 36:03
  And it wasn't it, it didn't have that that energy, that community
• 36:08
  of sit down after work, drink 5 beers, then go to the next bar,
• 36:11
  spend your tip money that night, you know what I mean?
• 36:16
  But yeah, I saw a lot of people that came in man AB absolutely,
• 36:20
  dude. And that was a big thing, man,
• 36:23
  for my value system was I'm sober, right?
• 36:30
  But still, you know, if I'm because that opportunity at that
• 36:35
  one restaurant, unfortunately just it wasn't anything I did.
• 36:39
  It was just there was an expansion on the horizon and
• 36:43
  it's been delayed because of permits, right?
• 36:45
  So I sat down with some amazing fucking guys and and I love
• 36:50
  these guys. They're huge restaurant tours in
• 36:52
  in the city of Toronto. And here's the fucking crazy
• 36:56
  thing, man, I was let go from two of the restaurants before
• 36:59
  and I came back and I had an amazing talk with two of them
• 37:03
  and they were like, bro, like you're killing it, man.
• 37:05
  Like we always said, like you straighten this out, come back
• 37:09
  right. And essentially they were going
• 37:11
  to kind of create a position for me and I was super excited about
• 37:14
  it. And it was again, another aha
• 37:16
  moment in my life. It was nothing against them,
• 37:18
  nothing against any. This was me.
• 37:20
  And I was like, I, how can I even do coaching part time?
• 37:25
  But then I have to go into not have to, but I go into a
• 37:28
  restaurant and part of the gig is you take care of people, you
• 37:31
  give them shots. You know what I mean, right.
• 37:34
  So I was just like, nothing against them.
• 37:37
  And what I was doing was reverting back to what I know,
• 37:40
  the comfort zone. So when I talked to my coach, he
• 37:43
  was like, no, no fucking way, bro.
• 37:46
  That that was the moment that I said I'm going all in on
• 37:47
  coaching, right? But yeah, it's, it's difficult,
• 37:50
  man. It's hard to see people.
• 37:52
  I live in an area where there's there's bars everywhere.
• 37:55
  I walk past the patios. I see some of my old homies.
• 37:58
  I see what they're up to, man. I'm not an idiot, dude.
• 38:01
  You know, they can admit it to them to they don't have to admit
• 38:04
  it to me. I know what they're going
• 38:06
  through and I don't judge them, but I can see right through it.
• 38:10
  Dude, like you're fucking dying. Dude, you, you can't.
• 38:13
  This is not fun anymore. Bro.
• 38:15
  Like it's just not like it's, it's not bro.
• 38:18
  And yeah, man. And it's I just really, I really
• 38:24
  just said that old life is like that.
• 38:27
  That person that I was is dead, bro.
• 38:30
  It's gone, doesn't exist anymore.
• 38:33
  So, you know, in the recovery world you could say like, I'm
• 38:35
  two years old today, right? Like everything that I'm
• 38:39
  experiencing now, I try to have a new experience and it's new.
• 38:43
  Even Toronto, bro, fuck Toronto, Toronto, King Street, this that.
• 38:47
  I got to get the fuck out of here.
• 38:49
  No, bro, you're going to take yourself with you.
• 38:51
  You're just going to bro. I remember I moved to Jasper
• 38:53
  once, Alberta in the middle of the mountains.
• 38:56
  I worked for the Fairmont, bro. I was fucking snorting blow and
• 38:59
  cutting through 20 elk at 7:00 in the morning, man.
• 39:01
  Like fuck, dude. Like shit doesn't change or shit
• 39:04
  doesn't change, man. So hey, man, I'm I'm very,
• 39:07
  here's the word that I use. I'm very empathetic towards
• 39:10
  people, but I'm not necessarily sympathetic because you know
• 39:14
  what you're doing. You know what you're doing, and
• 39:16
  I know it's fucking bugging. You and and to me, it's a good
• 39:21
  point there. I try to lean towards empathy
• 39:24
  too, because to me empathy is like, dude, I know what you're
• 39:26
  going through and I'm here to help if you need help.
• 39:29
  And I'm not judging you. And to me, sympathy is like,
• 39:31
  fuck, you're struggling right now, buddy.
• 39:33
  Like good luck with that. You know, fuck, you know, it's
• 39:36
  like this kind of judgement thing, right?
• 39:38
  So I try to, I try to lean on this and I'm not perfect, but I
• 39:40
  try to. No, man.
• 39:41
  And and again, like I have to protect myself, my energy, I
• 39:45
  call it that healthy selfishness still, because I find a lot of
• 39:49
  people as well. Let's be honest, bro, the
• 39:52
  circles that I used to run with, we enable each other, we're
• 39:55
  cosigning each other's bullshit. Everything is normal because
• 39:59
  we're all doing the exact same fucking thing, man.
• 40:01
  And and nobody, as I always say, I say it very bluntly as nobody
• 40:04
  has the fucking balls to step out of that right.
• 40:07
  And again, I'm not better because I did, but I don't know
• 40:11
  what your circumstance is. I knew mine.
• 40:14
  And I had to face that and I had to face the honesty of myself
• 40:17
  and look in the fucking mirror and say like, I'm crushed, dude.
• 40:21
  I am crushed. This isn't for my mom, as much
• 40:24
  as I love her, my dad, my nephews, to get a girl back, to
• 40:28
  get a job back, this time for fucking real was for Mike.
• 40:32
  And I made this personal, like always say like, you know, like
• 40:36
  I made this comeback fucking personal.
• 40:38
  I'm not like I am not just getting sober to just not drink.
• 40:45
  I'm going after a fucking life that I've always been afraid to
• 40:48
  go after and I don't care what it takes man.
• 40:51
  I don't even fucking care if I hit it.
• 40:53
  The point is is I'm going to show up every day and I'm going
• 40:56
  to try because I never had the self esteem to do that man.
• 41:01
  Right? Dude I used to cancel hair
• 41:03
  appointments in the morning because I was like oh shit I'm
• 41:07
  off that night I I can't go to my hair planter.
• 41:09
  What the fuck bro? Booze and blow became
• 41:12
  everything. God, yeah.
• 41:14
  It was, it was, it was. I served that first.
• 41:17
  And then if I can manage anything else, I'll see if I can
• 41:21
  get into it. Can fit you in yeah.
• 41:23
  Fit you into my schedule. Yeah.
• 41:25
  Oh man yeah. I mean you're heading home a lot
• 41:27
  For me it's Yeah, it's great and that's why I love doing this
• 41:30
  stuff because I'm meeting so many like minded individuals
• 41:34
  that. And every time I do an episode,
• 41:36
  man, every single time, I learn more than one thing.
• 41:38
  But there's always something where I can kind of, yeah, like.
• 41:42
  Yeah, I call those Nuggets. Yeah, those little Nuggets that
• 41:45
  you can just take with the rest of you.
• 41:47
  But to your point, you could guide me to water, but you can't
• 41:51
  drink for me, you know, you can't, you know, maybe that's a
• 41:53
  bad analogy in this situation, but you can take a horse to
• 41:56
  water. You can't make them drink,
• 41:57
  right? And no, exactly, that's, that
• 41:59
  was my scenario. I had to show up.
• 42:01
  I had to do the work. I had to sit in rehab for 60
• 42:04
  days and fucking do the work, you know, and listen, you know,
• 42:07
  because my way wasn't working right.
• 42:09
  I tried everything my way and my SO maybe maybe I'm wrong.
• 42:14
  That's that's another one that, you know, Yeah, I try to use
• 42:17
  that every day as like I'm right is my biggest problem today, you
• 42:20
  know? Yeah, I'm talking to someone and
• 42:22
  this guys fucking out to lunch. I'm right.
• 42:24
  That's my biggest problem. I can learn something in every
• 42:26
  situation. Maybe I'm wrong.
• 42:28
  That helps me a lot today and you mentioned a lot of that in
• 42:30
  what you said so. No, I, I agree.
• 42:33
  It's, I believe everything is a learning opportunity, right?
• 42:36
  Everything man. And when, when you remain
• 42:39
  teachable and you remain open, it's the individuals that I find
• 42:42
  that come to me and say, Hey, what does your coaching look
• 42:45
  like? And I explain it and they say,
• 42:47
  OK, I'm down and that's it. They say, what do I have to do?
• 42:54
  That's it not, you know, like the ones I'm not saying they're
• 42:59
  bad, but the ones like we I know right off the hop just from a
• 43:03
  discovery call of the questions that they're having, not to say
• 43:06
  that they're not ready. It's like, OK, we got to smash
• 43:09
  this fucking. Ego, right?
• 43:10
  Right. Because again, you're not going
• 43:13
  to come in here, you know, sorry and do it your way.
• 43:17
  Your best thinking has got you where you.
• 43:20
  Are to this conversation. Now, so do you want to try this?
• 43:24
  Right? It's not I'm not an asshole, but
• 43:27
  again, I'm not going to enable you, bro.
• 43:29
  You hired me to be honest with you and to hold you accountable
• 43:34
  and that's what I'm going to do. And I'm I'm I'm different,
• 43:36
  right? Like people are like, well, do I
• 43:38
  like, you know, and they have questions and that's OK.
• 43:40
  Do do I like have to do like fill out, you know, like
• 43:44
  paperwork, like I've worked with like, you know, psychiatrists,
• 43:47
  they're like, oh, you have to do this.
• 43:48
  You have to do this. I'm like, no, bro.
• 43:50
  Like I'm here with you right beside you, bro.
• 43:52
  There's nothing that I'm not going to ask you to do that I
• 43:55
  haven't done or don't do myself, right?
• 43:58
  This is it. And I always unfortunately break
• 44:01
  the coach rule. Whereas it's like, hey, this is
• 44:03
  the 90 days. This is what you get, right?
• 44:05
  And it's always fucking broken. Not broken in a bad way.
• 44:09
  It's just like I only take on so many clients too.
• 44:14
  I'm not in this to drive a fucking Lamborghini, dude.
• 44:16
  You know, Hey, has finances changed?
• 44:19
  Yeah, 100% man, absolutely. For my wife and I, she's doing
• 44:22
  her thing. I'm doing mine abso fucking
• 44:24
  lutely. But again, if I'm not going to
• 44:27
  come to a moment a where I burn myself out and now I'm giving
• 44:30
  you a shit service. And then the other part of it
• 44:33
  is, is, you know, that's that story.
• 44:36
  That is the whole part is like, I want to make sure that
• 44:38
  everybody gets the best result that they can.
• 44:42
  Now they have to put that in. But people always ask just like,
• 44:46
  well, is there a guarantee? No, man, fuck, dude.
• 44:49
  Even when you take a job at 9:00 to 5:00 and they're paying you X
• 44:52
  amount, dude, look at the world. The stock market could flip
• 44:56
  again, bro. And then your job does cutbacks.
• 44:58
  That's nothing's guaranteed, bro.
• 45:00
  So all I can guarantee is a service that I provide for you.
• 45:04
  And I'm the mother fucker that's going to show up every single
• 45:06
  day. I'll be up before you.
• 45:09
  I'll work twice as fucking not hard as you, but I'm a big
• 45:12
  believer is don't listen to what I say.
• 45:14
  Watch what I do, man. That's why I show up on
• 45:16
  Instagram every day. That's why I post every day,
• 45:18
  right? It's consistency, it's
• 45:20
  commitment. I'm not showing up for me, man.
• 45:22
  I'm showing up for that individual that maybe just came
• 45:25
  across my page. Like, sorry, just thinking of
• 45:27
  that. I got a fucking really profound
• 45:29
  DM that I was just thinking of. It was in my request box and
• 45:34
  that person needed to hear that today and that stopped them of
• 45:38
  like, I just talked to my wife and I'm going to go get some
• 45:40
  help and that that's not me personally, but at the very
• 45:44
  least we can make someone think right.
• 45:47
  I always say it's like you planted a seed that. 100% and
• 45:49
  then that's the. Power like of people's voices
• 45:52
  and again, like we do another thing as as well too.
• 45:56
  And I'm not pitching this, but like my coach and I have teamed
• 45:59
  up. So we we help individuals build
• 46:01
  what's called a personal brand and monetize on social media,
• 46:04
  right? We have a recipe.
• 46:05
  It works. It's worked for him for years.
• 46:07
  He's a very, very profound coach.
• 46:11
  And that's amazing. He's made a big impact.
• 46:14
  And he's been very, you know, it's been great that he said
• 46:18
  like, hey, I kind of want to teach you how to do this now
• 46:19
  too. But it's like people are like,
• 46:22
  yeah, but what do people, what are, what are they going to
• 46:24
  think of me? And it's like, OK, let's reverse
• 46:27
  that pattern of thinking and let's say, what about the people
• 46:31
  that need to hear it, bro? Right, like it's once you take
• 46:35
  the ego out and it's not about you anymore bro, it's going to
• 46:38
  land where it's going to land. I trust me bro.
• 46:41
  I get a lot of hate now, yeah. I mean with good comes.
• 46:46
  The the fuck you right because you pissed them off or whatever,
• 46:50
  or you made them realize something about themselves that
• 46:52
  they sure it's it's not for me to say.
• 46:54
  It's just, it is what it is and no disrespect bro, I'm not
• 46:57
  fucking going to sit there and have an argument with somebody.
• 47:01
  I'll call people out in my comments sometimes, but that's
• 47:04
  just me. I speak my truth, man.
• 47:06
  And it's like I hid for so many years, dude.
• 47:08
  I'm not being rude. It's just like, Nah bro, you're
• 47:10
  not going to come and piss on my side of the street.
• 47:13
  I'm not that fucking dude. I'm going to tell you my
• 47:16
  honesty. I'm not rude, but it's just
• 47:18
  going to be like Nah bro, like Nah.
• 47:20
  Thank you. Yeah, 'cause I mean the.
• 47:22
  Negativity doesn't go anywhere, right?
• 47:24
  Like it never ends up well for anybody.
• 47:26
  Nobody wins. No, and and I always say this.
• 47:29
  Again, a lot of this language, I always say, Anthony, that we use
• 47:33
  can be foreign to some people. So when I say like, why are you
• 47:35
  giving them the your power? They're like, what do you what
• 47:37
  do you mean? I'm like, well, your energy,
• 47:40
  Why? Why are you even investing time
• 47:42
  in this individual? But when we're addicted to
• 47:44
  gossip and talking shit about people, man, we don't know how
• 47:48
  that that's all we're around, right?
• 47:50
  It'd be like, you know, US going to another country where we
• 47:53
  don't speak the language. We're like, what the hell is
• 47:55
  going on? Right?
• 47:56
  So it's like, you know, I don't let individuals rent space in my
• 48:00
  house. It's a good way to look at it
• 48:02
  like get. Out man, and again I'm.
• 48:04
  I'm too busy. Like I'm, I'm still working on
• 48:08
  myself everyday, man. I don't think it ever stops.
• 48:12
  Different levels, different devils, right?
• 48:14
  Like we always go through growth spurts or we become complacent,
• 48:19
  right? Different levels.
• 48:20
  Different devils. I like that.
• 48:21
  I've never heard that one before.
• 48:23
  It's. Yeah, Yeah.
• 48:24
  You know, my attic brain comes out in different mediums, right?
• 48:27
  And different forms. And, you know, it's always just
• 48:30
  kind of chirping in the background.
• 48:31
  Some days it's louder than others, Right.
• 48:33
  Yeah. I can really relate to that.
• 48:35
  What's something today that you're, you're really working on
• 48:39
  with yourself? Like something that you're,
• 48:41
  you're trying to either improve or, or work on for yourself?
• 48:45
  It's still a limited belief. Bro to.
• 48:50
  To. Here I'll say this, I was never
• 48:54
  afraid of failure. I knew how to fail, bro.
• 48:56
  I was a fucking pro. I can write a course on how to
• 48:59
  fail. I, I was afraid of success,
• 49:03
  right? So the big thing that I have to
• 49:06
  do today is like I journal every day.
• 49:08
  I write a gratitude list still, right?
• 49:10
  I do a nightly reflection where it's like, OK, was I in fear
• 49:13
  today? Did I react at someone today,
• 49:16
  you know, and that just keeps me in check, right?
• 49:19
  Because I can't let that shit build up over time.
• 49:21
  I have a saying where is it's like every day is day one.
• 49:23
  I can't, I can't rely on yesterday's wins because today
• 49:26
  is going to bring a new set of something, whether it's
• 49:30
  problems, whether it's anything, I got to navigate the day here
• 49:33
  today, bro. And I need to be the best
• 49:34
  version of myself. So one thing that I'm very
• 49:36
  conscious of and that I'm is I was fear based for so long that
• 49:40
  fear ruled my fucking life, bro. There is no if ands anything
• 49:44
  about it, dude. Fear of what people would think
• 49:47
  of me. The negative self talk of I'm
• 49:49
  not good enough of you don't deserve this.
• 49:52
  So what I really work on today is like my life has changed
• 49:56
  dramatically, right? Do we live in a nicer condo?
• 50:00
  Yeah, absolutely. Was I able to go on a trip?
• 50:03
  Yeah, absolutely. Is Is there let's say finances
• 50:08
  coming in and and and I get to work for myself?
• 50:10
  Absolutely. But it comes down to I also have
• 50:14
  to allow myself to accept that. Does that make sense?
• 50:19
  Because I couldn't before, bro, I just.
• 50:22
  I, I don't know. I couldn't.
• 50:23
  I felt uncomfortable. I was like, I don't deserve
• 50:25
  this. Yeah, it's like this imposter
• 50:27
  syndrome. That's what I.
• 50:27
  Mean is like imposter syndrome. Absolutely bro.
• 50:30
  So this is what I mean by different levels, different
• 50:33
  devils. So are you the individual that
• 50:38
  can even handle the life that you want today, right.
• 50:41
  So a lot of people are like, oh, like they come in and all they
• 50:45
  want to do is fix themselves to make money, but they want.
• 50:50
  To make money, right and I'm. Like, OK, but if we were to give
• 50:52
  you $1,000,000 right now, could you handle that?
• 50:55
  Yeah. No, you couldn't.
• 50:57
  No, you fucking can't even handle 100 grand a year.
• 50:59
  Yeah. What evidence do you have
• 51:00
  exactly? Like show me.
• 51:02
  Your habits and I'll show you your future and it's it.
• 51:05
  That's just it, man. Like it's, it's you got to quit
• 51:08
  lying to yourself, bro. So you know, I also had a coach
• 51:12
  before this coach and his big saying is, you know, it's, it's
• 51:16
  not how I got here. It's who it's who I created,
• 51:22
  right? So a lot of people put the cart
• 51:24
  before the horse, right? And it's like they want to get
• 51:27
  here, but they don't have the belief system to get them there.
• 51:32
  So that's constantly what I'm personally working on every
• 51:35
  single day is the belief system, right?
• 51:38
  Because there there could come a moment where it's like, holy
• 51:41
  shit, dude, in in three years from now, all of a sudden you're
• 51:44
  like the, the Joe Rogan in the addiction world, bro.
• 51:47
  Like that's going to come with everybody thinks like, oh, I get
• 51:52
  what I want and everything's good.
• 51:53
  Nah, bro, you have to now learn how to navigate that.
• 51:58
  And that comes with, you know, so many more obstacles.
• 52:03
  Now you got a crew. Now you got fucking way more
• 52:05
  guests. Now you've got a green room or
• 52:07
  whatever. You know, it's like you.
• 52:12
  Get to where you want. To be sometimes I feel and
• 52:14
  sometimes you think like shit, dude, like I kind of wish some
• 52:17
  days I was just doing this, man, right?
• 52:21
  And it's, it's a lot, dude. That's why I have a coach still.
• 52:25
  It's you can scale a business you, but in order to scale the
• 52:30
  business, you have to scale your life.
• 52:32
  You have to sorry, you have to be able to again, grow into that
• 52:35
  individual that can handle that. So yeah, bro, every single day
• 52:40
  there's moments of frustration, right?
• 52:42
  There's moments of doubt, of fear.
• 52:45
  But guess what, bro? I think we really need to
• 52:47
  normalize, especially as men. Is this.
• 52:50
  I need help. I need some help, bro.
• 52:53
  There's nothing wrong with that. Kobe had a coach.
• 52:57
  He's the greatest fucking basketball player.
• 52:58
  So did Jordan. So does Tiger Woods.
• 53:00
  So does fucking everybody, man. That's how the greats get to
• 53:03
  where they want to be, dude. Because I truly believe that
• 53:06
  they still tell themselves that I don't know everything.
• 53:09
  I don't got this yet. The humility.
• 53:11
  Yeah, there's there's. Some humility in there, right?
• 53:14
  So yeah, I call my coach and I'm like, hey bro, like I'm fucking
• 53:19
  going through this dude, you know?
• 53:20
  And he's like, he always says like, Yep, that's going to
• 53:24
  happen, that's going to happen. Been there, bro.
• 53:27
  But guess what? You just keep like it's always
• 53:30
  the inevitable answer is keep showing up.
• 53:33
  Consistency. That's it.
• 53:35
  That's it. And it sounds so like dumb,
• 53:39
  cliche, whatever, but it's just like the mother fuckers get to
• 53:43
  where they want to get to, bro. They don't tap.
• 53:46
  They just don't, no matter what. So in our terms, I guess in our
• 53:51
  language, I do everything so I can handle life on life's terms
• 53:57
  today. That's it.
• 53:58
  And the rest is a bonus first. Things first, I'm not an idiot.
• 54:02
  My sobriety comes first before my wife bro, because if I don't
• 54:06
  put that before her, like I get up before her on purpose because
• 54:11
  I know that I can wake up groggy.
• 54:13
  I know that I can fucking wake up and my head spin and
• 54:15
  sometimes so I create the best version of myself.
• 54:19
  So guess what? Now I can deliver that to her.
• 54:22
  Now I can be a fucking you know, calm with my dog and not fucking
• 54:27
  yanking him on a walk and being like let's go like he can sit
• 54:30
  there and fucking sniff and pee on whatever he wants bro.
• 54:32
  We can be out for an hour if he wants to be.
• 54:34
  It's not about me, dude. So that's very important for me
• 54:39
  today, dude. And the rest, like I said again,
• 54:43
  letting go. It's it's it's it's easier said
• 54:47
  than fucking done, as you know, man.
• 54:49
  But yeah, yeah, I. Love that no.
• 54:52
  It's so true. Or, you know, the, the, OR
• 54:55
  reacting to the world, you know, you mentioned like waking up and
• 54:57
  reacting to your, your dog not doing things the way you know,
• 55:01
  you scripted him to do or her to do, right.
• 55:03
  And it's like the same thing with the guy that doesn't obey
• 55:06
  the, the traffic light. And you know, or in my scenario,
• 55:09
  and I was just talking about this before today, earlier today
• 55:12
  with, with the last guy I had on.
• 55:14
  But my thing is, when people are like holding their horn in the
• 55:18
  city of Toronto, drives me nuts. It's like that that guy is just
• 55:21
  not living according to my script, you know?
• 55:23
  And that's OK, right? But it's hard.
• 55:25
  It's hard to get the horn doing anyways.
• 55:28
  Traffics not moving thank you. The horns not like this ain't a
• 55:33
  traffic problem again like I feel like opening the door and
• 55:35
  being like bro like you need to talk yeah I've man I've.
• 55:39
  Said way too much to those individuals.
• 55:40
  I need to. My wife reminds me she's like
• 55:42
  what did you what'd you get? Do you feel better now?
• 55:44
  And I'm like, no, no, I yelled at him and I don't feel better
• 55:48
  now. And we're not perfect bro.
• 55:50
  Like my thing is. How do I?
• 55:53
  Say this without I love. How everyone has a thing though.
• 55:56
  Yeah, so mine is. And I'm not being rude by any
• 56:01
  means, it's just people that jog on the sidewalks and Ubereats
• 56:07
  drivers on the bikes they say this is not a fucking culture.
• 56:11
  Racist has nothing to do with this bro.
• 56:13
  It's just there's no awareness like I don't know how many times
• 56:19
  like and hey, I'm emotionally attached.
• 56:21
  My wife is a fucking 5 foot, you know what I mean?
• 56:25
  Little Filipino, she's gangster as fuck.
• 56:28
  But you know, and I got a dog and it's like I'm not even lying
• 56:31
  bro. The other like this is like 3
• 56:32
  weeks ago man. Or before we went to Italy, a
• 56:36
  lady, young lady was waiting like on the side in Liberty
• 56:40
  Village, kind of like just doing this, you know, her friend.
• 56:44
  I could see a guy bombing down the sidewalk.
• 56:46
  He ripped right through my friend and I and the two dogs.
• 56:50
  She jumped over and ended up kneing my dog.
• 56:53
  Oh my God. And.
• 56:54
  Every part of. Me just wanted to drop my dog
• 56:57
  and run after them because that's old behavior, right?
• 56:59
  It's like, motherfucker, dude, like I'm going to smash this
• 57:02
  guy, bro. So I saw that they went into a
• 57:05
  variety store. I calmly went and I just said,
• 57:07
  hey guys, do you have a moment? Yeah, what's up?
• 57:11
  And I said, I'm going to ask you something.
• 57:14
  We were just up here. I, I kind of said, I said what
• 57:17
  they said XY and ZI said, do you like, are you, are you aware of
• 57:21
  this? Did you notice that you did you
• 57:22
  notice? This like do you you.
• 57:23
  Have to understand how selfish this is.
• 57:26
  If you're going to run a fucking PR man, maybe you don't do it in
• 57:29
  the middle of fucking Liberty Village.
• 57:31
  Sorry. I swear a lot bro.
• 57:33
  Go to a park like this ain't a fucking relay camp, man, You
• 57:37
  know, and look at I can be good with words sometimes I almost
• 57:41
  made them feel stupid because I knew I couldn't fucking punch
• 57:45
  the guy out today. And I was just like, listen,
• 57:48
  like, just please be aware next time.
• 57:51
  What if there's a child and that little kid goes down?
• 57:54
  Like there's going to be a you're going to run across
• 57:56
  somebody that actually is going to fucking throw somewhere.
• 57:59
  But yeah, it's just, again, I have to just be like, my wife's
• 58:03
  a lot better at this than I she's.
• 58:06
  Just like. Mikey And I'm just like because
• 58:12
  my emotion that I can still go to today and I believe I've
• 58:16
  always gone to is anger. And it's this like like you
• 58:21
  said? You wronged me.
• 58:22
  Mother fucker. And it's like, no, you can't,
• 58:26
  can't be like that today, right? So hey, if my worst problem
• 58:30
  today is there's an Uber Eats driver that's weaving all over
• 58:33
  the place or a jogger kind of Co spy on the sidewalk, that's not
• 58:38
  a bad day. Yeah, it's not talk man 100
• 58:42
  especially. Talking to you know, Mike of of
• 58:44
  old, right or or Anthony of old, he would have taken that any day
• 58:48
  you know no 100% and. And again, that's ego that came
• 58:52
  down to me trying to fucking prove something.
• 58:54
  And you know, I'll fucking show this guy.
• 58:57
  And and that's just, hey, man, that's not who I am today, nor
• 58:59
  do I condone that behavior today.
• 59:02
  I get it. But at the same time, it's like,
• 59:05
  how can I let these individuals know?
• 59:07
  Like before, too, I I wouldn't have been able to say anything
• 59:11
  at some point too. I would have just been like, I
• 59:13
  was, I was Mr. Passive at one point.
• 59:16
  We'll just let it go. Yeah.
• 59:17
  Doormat. Yeah, and it was just like.
• 59:19
  No, man. No, I got like, people don't
• 59:22
  know if they're not told or explained right.
• 59:26
  And it's just like, bro, you need my dog.
• 59:27
  That's enough for me to say hey bro, yeah.
• 59:32
  Yeah, so, but you're right, there's a way of going about it.
• 59:34
  And yeah, in my experience, all my anger usually is, is a mask
• 59:38
  of fear, right? There's some kind of fear.
• 59:40
  And it's hard for me to notice that and accept that sometimes.
• 59:42
  But it is, it's a secondary emotion I was taught.
• 59:44
  And it's like there's some fear here of my wife getting hurt, my
• 59:48
  dog getting hurt, whatever the, you know, whatever or, or be
• 59:50
  embarrassed. You know, like I don't, I don't
• 59:53
  like to be wrong. I don't like to be embarrassed.
• 59:55
  But you know, you learn some days that, like I said, maybe
• 59:58
  I'm wrong. That's OK, absolutely.
• 1:00:01
  And like. The thing that I respect the
• 1:00:05
  most about Elaine, that's my fiance and I's relationship, is
• 1:00:09
  the communication. We're not naive.
• 1:00:11
  We know we're going to have head butts.
• 1:00:13
  We know we're going to have fucking bangers sometimes, but
• 1:00:16
  we both know we have a code word.
• 1:00:19
  It's called paper clip and it's like, if it's getting a little
• 1:00:22
  too heated, it's like paper clip.
• 1:00:24
  Then we separate. We come back because our
• 1:00:26
  emotions cloud the truth. We're both in a reactive state.
• 1:00:29
  There's no solution to that. We sit down and guess what, bro,
• 1:00:33
  it's not even the issue that we're arguing about.
• 1:00:37
  I'm going through something. I haven't talked about it.
• 1:00:40
  Like you said, like humans are like an onion, man.
• 1:00:42
  You got to peel it back. Or we have a saying of like
• 1:00:45
  what? Like what's fucking really going
• 1:00:46
  on? Like the dude honking the horn,
• 1:00:49
  Billy, what's really going on here?
• 1:00:51
  It's like, do you hate? Your job, Yeah, No, it's like
• 1:00:53
  whatever it is exactly like is it the.
• 1:00:55
  World's fault that you woke up late, is it?
• 1:00:57
  You know, maybe you went out last night and had one too many
• 1:00:59
  fucking beers and you're late for your big presentation.
• 1:01:03
  Well, hey, bro, but you can't admit that to yourself, right?
• 1:01:06
  So I always say too as well. I don't know if this is right or
• 1:01:10
  wrong, Anthony, but I'm just like, everything is my fault,
• 1:01:13
  man. I I can only take responsibility
• 1:01:16
  for myself, right? Well, yeah, it's, it's it's it's
• 1:01:22
  it's cool, man. Like I said, it's to have that
• 1:01:25
  tool of communication with everyone.
• 1:01:29
  I try to have with right. Not everybody's open to it, but
• 1:01:32
  no. And and awareness and.
• 1:01:35
  I, I like, you know, it's, I have a part in everything.
• 1:01:37
  You know, there's a part in everything, right?
• 1:01:39
  I have a part and maybe I'm just as simple as I'm not accepting
• 1:01:42
  this right, or I'm not letting this go, or I'm not turning this
• 1:01:45
  over or no, whatever it may be. I.
• 1:01:48
  Believe like I went through a. Recovery home once and it was
• 1:01:51
  fucking very intense man, but at the same time it was like
• 1:01:56
  here's. Here's this is.
• 1:01:58
  Going to sound really strange to people.
• 1:02:00
  There's people that went through this, this recovery program,
• 1:02:04
  like a spiritual program they call it, that never had a
• 1:02:08
  problem with drinking or drugs. They're basically, they have all
• 1:02:12
  the, we'll call them character defects that in like they just,
• 1:02:17
  they're angry as fuck, man. Nothing makes them happy.
• 1:02:21
  They have all the money. They have no gratitude, bro.
• 1:02:24
  And they learn this language and they learn these actionable
• 1:02:28
  steps to do and bro, they come out.
• 1:02:31
  It's just like they're a fucking brand.
• 1:02:33
  It's like a weight's been lifted off them and it's like they go
• 1:02:37
  back to work or their wife is like, what the fuck happened?
• 1:02:40
  Who's this guy? Yeah, yeah, man.
• 1:02:43
  And. That's what I mean is like if
• 1:02:45
  you keep an open mind to anything in life bro, I believe
• 1:02:49
  that's where change starts because here's how I look at it
• 1:02:53
  when I get hate, People hate what they don't understand and
• 1:02:56
  they're the ignorance in them doesn't want to learn.
• 1:03:01
  Well, I'm not arguing with that. You'll never win and and it's
• 1:03:05
  not. About winning.
• 1:03:06
  Yeah, exactly. It's not about winning, but it's
• 1:03:08
  no one wins. Go like I don't go fucking.
• 1:03:10
  Troll on someone else's page because I know you're going to
• 1:03:13
  do that and like it's whatever bro.
• 1:03:15
  Like, I don't know, man, again, like there's always, there's the
• 1:03:21
  easy thing to do is blame, right?
• 1:03:24
  The fucking politics, man. That's a big one to get into and
• 1:03:27
  I won't. But everybody, I get it, it's
• 1:03:29
  part of it. But it's like, why the fuck am I
• 1:03:32
  going to let the whoever the fucking Prime Minister is, dude,
• 1:03:35
  they're not controlling my fucking life.
• 1:03:37
  All the taxes are higher. Guess what, dude, I got an
• 1:03:40
  accountant that can work with that.
• 1:03:43
  Yeah, you know, we're not cheating the system.
• 1:03:45
  But have you gone to a specific accountant that can help you
• 1:03:48
  with HSTGST? Do they know the insurance and
• 1:03:51
  the outs? Do they tell you, hey, you got
• 1:03:53
  to spend this much money? If not, it's going to go to the
• 1:03:55
  tax man. No, but so you're just blaming.
• 1:03:59
  You're not looking for everything has a solution is
• 1:04:01
  what I mean. No matter what, bro.
• 1:04:03
  So you live in the problem or you live in the solution.
• 1:04:06
  And I don't wait for life to happen.
• 1:04:09
  I fucking create it today. I mean, that might sound cocky,
• 1:04:11
  but it's like I'm done waiting, bro.
• 1:04:14
  Like I'm knocking on doors today.
• 1:04:16
  That's it. That's all Some are going to
• 1:04:18
  answer, some aren't. And then that's OK.
• 1:04:20
  Yeah, so. But if you never knocked in.
• 1:04:22
  The first place you would never no and again it's like.
• 1:04:25
  I love it because I've never had this confidence before, right?
• 1:04:29
  And I believe there's a fine line with individuals between
• 1:04:33
  confidence and cocky or an arrogance about it.
• 1:04:37
  Whereas it's just like my confidence is showing up every
• 1:04:39
  single day. That's it, man.
• 1:04:41
  And if you misinterpret that for ego or arrogance where you don't
• 1:04:47
  even want to have a conversation, it's not my job to
• 1:04:51
  hold whatever opinion you have of me.
• 1:04:53
  Like it is what it is, bro. Like I don't.
• 1:04:56
  So how do you how do you get? Your confidence on the days when
• 1:05:00
  you know there's nothing to be confident about, like how do you
• 1:05:03
  go and get that well again, like.
• 1:05:07
  If I. Understand it correctly.
• 1:05:09
  If there's in what regards if if you don't get something to be
• 1:05:13
  confident about, right. So maybe you like when you're?
• 1:05:17
  Date when you're lacking confidence or you're just in a
• 1:05:19
  in a headspace, like you said, where you're kind of squirrely
• 1:05:22
  and I don't allow myself to do that.
• 1:05:24
  So people, I believe, think confidence comes from an end
• 1:05:30
  result, right? There's a prize at the end of
• 1:05:34
  this, OK? Oh, I was able to buy my G
• 1:05:37
  Wagon. Look at me.
• 1:05:38
  I'm confident. You know, I'll be honest with
• 1:05:41
  you, bro, And this is not again, this can come out cocky or not.
• 1:05:46
  Financially. We're very blessed today, bro.
• 1:05:49
  It's just who I am. I'm wearing a fucking $7.00
• 1:05:51
  shirt from Amazon. You know I'll always be wearing
• 1:05:55
  Vans no matter what, dude. So confidence is built.
• 1:06:00
  It's earned. It's not bought and I think
• 1:06:03
  that's a big misconception is people fall into an identity of
• 1:06:08
  I'm confident because I have my job and I make a quarter mill a
• 1:06:11
  year. Cool Pete, what happens if the
• 1:06:14
  market crashes and you don't have that job anymore?
• 1:06:16
  Who the fuck are you bro? Right?
• 1:06:19
  And that's where they called it the Great Depression back in the
• 1:06:22
  day. Because so many people, Anthony,
• 1:06:24
  lack meaning and purpose. I'm not naive.
• 1:06:27
  I'm honest with myself. My confidence today is built on
• 1:06:31
  on confidence is built on not breaking the promises to
• 1:06:34
  yourself, right? So you confidence is learning to
• 1:06:38
  trust yourself, right? So I commit and when I say I
• 1:06:41
  commit, I'm going to fucking do it bro.
• 1:06:43
  I wake up same time every day I have for the last fucking two
• 1:06:47
  years over. Then I do a workout right.
• 1:06:50
  I do 10,000 steps outside no matter fucking what man, rain
• 1:06:54
  shine. You know my my dog Bruno comes
• 1:06:57
  with me and and that's it. I journal.
• 1:06:59
  I know if if I can't give myself that hour to two hours in the
• 1:07:04
  morning, then I know I'm gonna be a loose cannon, right?
• 1:07:08
  Me too. Like the?
• 1:07:09
  End result or. Like the Beamer, the we live in
• 1:07:12
  a nice condo, correct? I'm super proud of us.
• 1:07:15
  We created an individual that was able to get to that right.
• 1:07:17
  Cool. But if that condo goes away,
• 1:07:20
  man, it's like you can fucking strip me of anything today.
• 1:07:24
  Like here's where confidence is. I know today that I'll show up
• 1:07:28
  everyday. I don't give a fuck what you
• 1:07:29
  take for me today. It doesn't.
• 1:07:31
  I'll still continue to get up and go on social media or
• 1:07:33
  fucking try to get on podcasts or fucking talk to someone on
• 1:07:37
  the St. bro. It's just that's it man.
• 1:07:40
  I'm not attached to an outcome bro.
• 1:07:42
  It's it's because once you do that, then you have an
• 1:07:46
  expectation. An expectation that falls
• 1:07:48
  through can now lead to a resentment, can now lead to a
• 1:07:50
  self pity. There, you know, it's again is
• 1:07:53
  emotions for men, we have them and for women it's how do we
• 1:08:00
  live with them, right? How do we control them today?
• 1:08:03
  I'm not my emotions, bro. So it's you know, and again, I
• 1:08:10
  don't even want to like like bigger cities.
• 1:08:12
  I find people are are getting things to impress other people
• 1:08:22
  and losing themselves in the process.
• 1:08:25
  Does that make any sense when you really look at it?
• 1:08:28
  Bro, you're like, and I admit it, I would Max out my credit
• 1:08:31
  card to be a fucking baller on King Street and I would eat Mr.
• 1:08:35
  Noodles at home for three days 'cause I had no fucking money
• 1:08:37
  until Friday for what I did. Do you think these?
• 1:08:43
  Girls remembered who? I was, you know, and it's just,
• 1:08:49
  I'm just very real today, man. And, and that's it.
• 1:08:52
  So to answer your question in a real roundabout way is to me
• 1:08:56
  personally, in my experience is confidence is earned, bro.
• 1:09:00
  Every fucking day, man. Yeah, love that.
• 1:09:03
  Yeah. I want to end with this, and I
• 1:09:06
  usually like to end the podcast with this, but you've said a lot
• 1:09:08
  of good stuff and I appreciate you, man.
• 1:09:10
  Yeah. No, I appreciate being on here.
• 1:09:12
  Yeah, just talking with you. Sick love talking recovery,
• 1:09:15
  Yeah. If you could say something to a
• 1:09:17
  struggling addict or alcoholic right now, what would you say?
• 1:09:23
  Bro, it's it's very simple man. It it, it stops when we let go
• 1:09:28
  right? You have to realize is.
• 1:09:33
  You're in pain. That's it, man.
• 1:09:35
  I say this all the time is when I look at an individual that's
• 1:09:39
  struggling. I don't see a drug addict, I
• 1:09:41
  don't see a drunk. You know, there's people that
• 1:09:44
  struggle that don't use this stuff.
• 1:09:46
  They just struggle with life treat the pain you treat
• 1:09:51
  yourself. That's it man and to the
• 1:09:53
  individual that's going through something right now like it's
• 1:09:57
  it's I don't know man, it's tough to say like this big
• 1:10:01
  hurrah speech right, because you find the willingness man, I'll
• 1:10:06
  say this dude find your fucking rock bottom because that is the
• 1:10:10
  most beautiful place that you can ever be That's what I'll.
• 1:10:14
  Say and. Once you understand that and
• 1:10:18
  once you accept that, your life is gonna fucking change forever,
• 1:10:23
  bro, because that's when you let go.
• 1:10:26
  It's like, OK, fuck it, bro. This, this shit ain't working
• 1:10:28
  anymore, man. So you know what?
• 1:10:30
  I'm I'm gonna try this that like, and, and that's how simple
• 1:10:35
  it is, man. Like it's not like what am I
• 1:10:40
  trying to say here, dude? It's just.
• 1:10:44
  Yeah, you just you need a little bit of.
• 1:10:46
  Willingness, man and oh, that's what I was going to say is like
• 1:10:49
  what is the worst that's going to happen you commit to 90 days
• 1:10:53
  let's say what if you. Want your old life?
• 1:10:57
  It's wait. Like you and I right now
• 1:10:59
  outside, knock on wood if we want tonight, always say this
• 1:11:03
  King Street's right there. It's I.
• 1:11:05
  Could literally probably you too go back.
• 1:11:08
  I'm still going to know people. I still know people that work
• 1:11:10
  down there and the moment that I walk in there and I just say,
• 1:11:14
  yeah, man, what's up, bro? Fucking this is my boy Anthony.
• 1:11:16
  We'll take two fucking beers and four shots of tequila, man.
• 1:11:19
  And then we make the phone call, bro.
• 1:11:20
  No one's going to be like, guys, do you want to stop and think
• 1:11:24
  about this? No, bro, so true.
• 1:11:26
  They're going to fucking be like, yo, fuck, you want
• 1:11:27
  classes? And we're going to be like,
• 1:11:29
  fuck, yeah, boom. Now that's the hustle, bro.
• 1:11:32
  Upsell, make tips and I that's OK, right?
• 1:11:34
  So it's yeah, I went out of tander in there, but rock bottom
• 1:11:41
  allow it to be it's it's just it's the greatest place you get.
• 1:11:46
  Yeah. Love it.
• 1:11:48
  Yeah. That was beautiful.
• 1:11:49
  Yeah. Thanks so much, Mike.
• 1:11:50
  Yeah, I this was amazing, bro. Like.
• 1:11:52
  I I honestly love what you're fucking doing, dude.
• 1:11:55
  It's amazing Like to do three of these a week.
• 1:11:58
  I think you were saying like that's incredible, dude.
• 1:12:01
  And I see a lot of people that get sober and then they might
• 1:12:05
  not be drinking, but they're fucking miserable.
• 1:12:07
  And I'm like, have you ever tried to like give back to
• 1:12:10
  anybody else? Or is it just, again, it's still
• 1:12:12
  about you, right? And and.
• 1:12:15
  This this for. You giving people a platform and
• 1:12:17
  connecting and dude, it's it's fucking amazing.
• 1:12:20
  Thanks bro. Yeah, sick.
• 1:12:22
  Appreciate you man. Yeah.
• 1:12:24
  Listening Please help us grow the channel and like, share and
• 1:12:27
  subscribe for more content. The discussions and stories
• 1:12:30
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• 1:12:34
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• 1:12:37
  for professional medical advice, addiction treatment, or therapy.
• 1:12:40
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• 1:12:43
  please consult A licensed physician, addiction specialist,
• 1:12:46
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