Latest / New Manager Conversations with Fexingo: First 90 Days, Managing Former Peers, and Leadership Basics / New Managers How to Delegate Without Feeling Guilty
Transcript
- Lucas: So, you've been a new manager for a few months now. You've got your one-on-ones dialed in, you've navigated some office politics, you've even handled a bit of team conflict. But there's one thing that still gnaws at you — delegating. Luna: It sounds so simple, right? Just hand off work. But in practice, it feels like you're either dumping on your team or you're not trusting them enough. Lucas: Exactly. And I think the guilt comes from a few places. One, you were probably promoted because you were great at doing the work yourself. So letting go feels like you're not contributing. Two, you're afraid the person won't do it as well — and then you'll have to fix it anyway, which is more work in the short term. Luna: That short-term pain is real. But if you never push through it, you stay stuck in the weeds. Lucas: Right. There's a concept called the 'task audit' that I've seen work well for new managers. You take a week and write down every single task you do — every email, every report, every meeting follow-up. Then you sort them into four buckets: only you can do, can be delegated with coaching, can be delegated outright, and shouldn't be done at all. Luna: That last bucket is interesting — things that are just busywork that maybe nobody should be doing. Lucas: Exactly. And the second bucket — delegating with coaching — that's where the real growth happens for both you and your team member. You don't just hand it off and disappear. You say, 'I'd like you to take the lead on this. Here's what success looks like. I'm available for questions, but I want you to own the outcome.' Luna: So you're setting a clear expectation without hovering. That's a big shift from the default of either doing it yourself or dumping it with no context. Lucas: There's also a helpful rule called the '80% ready' rule. The idea is that if someone can do the task at 80% of the quality you would, you should delegate it. Because the remaining 20% comes from experience — and they won't get that experience unless you let them try. Luna: I love that. It gives you a concrete threshold instead of just a vague 'they're not there yet.' Lucas: And it forces you to be honest with yourself. Are you holding back because the task really requires your specific expertise, or because you're a perfectionist? Most of the time, it's the latter. Luna: Let me give you a real example. I was talking to a marketing manager at a mid-size tech company. She was spending hours each week tweaking social media graphics — something a junior designer could easily do. She finally delegated it, and within two weeks, the junior designer had improved the process and was producing better work than she had. Lucas: That's exactly the payoff. But to get there, you have to be willing to let go of the control. And that's hard, especially if you've built your identity around being the person who gets things done. Luna: So what's the first step for a new manager who's struggling with that? Lucas: Start small. Pick one task this week that you're pretty sure someone else can handle. Give it to them with clear instructions and a deadline. Then — this is the important part — don't check in until the deadline. Let them figure it out. If they ask questions, answer them, but don't take back the task. Luna: That takes discipline. I can imagine the urge to peek in and see how they're doing. Lucas: It does. But every time you resist that urge, you're building their trust and yours. Over time, you'll see that your team is more capable than you gave them credit for. And you'll have more time to focus on the strategic work that only you can do. Luna: And that's the goal — to shift from being a doer to being a leader who builds capability in others. Lucas: Yeah. And speaking of building capability — if you're finding this conversation helpful, we just want to mention that listener support is what keeps this show ad-free and focused on practical advice. If you'd like to support us, you can do that at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. Luna: It's a small way to say thanks if our episodes have helped you navigate a career move or a new role. No pressure at all. Lucas: Alright, back to delegation. Another common pitfall I see is the 'reverse delegation' — where a team member brings a problem to you, and you end up solving it. That's the opposite of delegation. Luna: Oh, that's a trap. How do you avoid it? Lucas: When someone comes to you with a problem, ask them: 'What do you think we should do?' Or: 'What options have you considered?' Push the thinking back to them. Over time, they'll start coming to you with solutions, not just problems. Luna: That's coaching. And it's a great way to delegate decision-making, not just tasks. Lucas: Exactly. And it builds their confidence. They start to see themselves as problem-solvers, not just executors. Luna: So delegation isn't just about offloading work — it's about developing your team. Lucas: That's the mindset shift. If you frame it as 'I'm giving you an opportunity to grow,' it feels a lot better than 'I'm dumping this on you.' And your team will feel that difference. Luna: What about the fear that you'll become less relevant if you delegate too much? Some managers worry they'll be seen as not doing anything. Lucas: That's a legitimate concern, especially in cultures that value individual contribution. But the truth is, your value as a manager is measured by your team's output, not your own. If your team is thriving, you're doing your job. And you'll have the bandwidth to take on bigger, more strategic initiatives that actually require your level. Luna: So it's a win-win. Your team grows, you grow, and the work gets done better. Lucas: Right. And to get started, try the 'task audit' this week. I guarantee you'll find at least three things you can delegate tomorrow. Start with one. Luna: And if you mess up — if you delegate something and it doesn't go perfectly — that's okay. You can debrief with your team member and use it as a learning moment for both of you. Lucas: Exactly. Delegation is a skill, and like any skill, it takes practice. The important thing is to start.