Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 5 - Episode 84 - Before you get involved…

Transcript

Season 5 - Episode 84 - Before you get involved… · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

• 0:01
  Hey everybody, welcome to the good morning from the Chicken
• 0:04
  Coop podcast. My name is Kim Johnson and I am
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  a mastermindset coach, creative strategist, and also happened to
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  be a farmer. This is my chicken coop and I
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  come out here every day to record a podcast to teach
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  distinctions, possibilities, new ways of thinking, and just bring
• 0:20
  some joy into the world. So welcome to the coop and let's
• 0:23
  start your day off in a fantastic way.
• 0:27
  Hey everybody, good morning. So what do you do when someone
• 0:31
  does not want your help, but you know they need your help?
• 0:35
  It's an interesting concept because we all go through this
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  and we all go through this at different points in our lives
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  where whether it's our children or our parents or a sibling, a
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  loved one, where we know that person desperately needs our
• 0:49
  help and they won't let you help them.
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  And then there are the times when you know they need help,
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  but you don't want to deal with them because they're so
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  difficult. What do you do?
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  How do you, how do you reckon with all of this in your own
• 1:02
  mind? Because let's face it, it's very
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  hard to watch someone that you, you know, you care about go
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  through something and not be able to deal with it.
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  It is torture in my mind. So live this happens.
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  I, I go through this with clients all the time.
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  Live real time in the moments. And there's one thread of
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  commonality that I consistently say that I think is worth
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  mentioning here, and that is this.
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  You can't help someone if they don't want your help.
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  Like really seriously, you cannot help someone if they do
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  not want your help. All you can do is say, what can
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  I do to help you? And that's if you want to help
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  them, right? But you know, you know, they
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  need help, but maybe you don't want to help because they're so
• 1:50
  difficult to deal with. And that is a real struggle,
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  like a very real struggle. Many of us don't want to deal
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  with the people that we supposedly love or have in our
• 2:00
  lives. It's kind of love is a strange
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  and difficult thing to deal with, especially when you get to
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  a point where you have parents that are not, you know,
• 2:08
  cooperating and maybe they've been difficult with you and over
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  time and you just want to walk away and not have to deal with
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  it. And it all, it all comes down to
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  the simple fact that we have very little control over other
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  people unless we want to claim that they are incompetent, which
• 2:27
  none of us really want to do because that takes away that
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  person's dignity. And we only do it in cases where
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  it is 1000% true, where, hey, wait a minute, this person's not
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  competent, I have to step in, Something has to be done.
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  But in most cases, that's not what we're talking about.
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  And what we are focused on is how do we reckon with this in
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  our own mind? Because quite frankly, there's
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  nothing easy about it. So the first and foremost thing
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  is recognizing that this person, you have to boil the ocean down.
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  You have to come down to, will this person accept help?
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  And if the answer is yes, then you have to say, OK, if the
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  person will accept help, will they accept help from me?
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  And if the answer is yes, then you have to decide how much you
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  want to help. What are what are your
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  limitations? You decide even before you offer
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  help. It is always critically
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  important to know what you're willing to do before you
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  actually go into it. Like really think about this.
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  What am I willing to do before I go into whatever the situation
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  is now if the person is not not willing to accept help then
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  quite frankly you have to ask the hard question.
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  Am I willing to have this person claimed incompetent?
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  And for most of us the answer is no.
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  Okay, then I have to let the chips fall where they may and,
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  and see where this person goes. I am a firm believer that every
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  soul is on a journey and sometimes those journeys are
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  dark and not to us, they feel overwhelming and they're, we're
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  just like, why won't you get help?
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  Why won't you do this? Why won't you do that?
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  And the reality is it's because that's what this soul has to
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  experience. That's what this soul has signed
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  up to experience because they need it for some reason.
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  That's my personal belief. Now, not everybody believes
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  that, but I don't believe that the universe and God has things
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  happened by accident like that. I believe that we have, you
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  know, a say in this on some spiritual level.
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  So Needless to say, and, and I know who some people are going
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  to say, well, what about a tragedy and what about this?
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  But we, again, we come back to one very strong thing.
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  We don't know what the soul involved in this is attracting
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  to themselves and the reasons it needs it.
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  I, I, I'm a firm believer of that.
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  And I know people will argue with me.
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  What about this one? And I'm like, that's OK, We all
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  have different opinions. We can all have different
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  opinions on this, but when it comes to pulling yourself into
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  something and, and a big thing like this with another person,
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  you have to allow them to have their experience.
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  And if their experience rely, you know is is put upon them to
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  go all the way down the rabbit hole and it relies on them
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  getting to the bottom and hitting bottom rock bottom, then
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  that's what has to happen for some people.
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  And we've all seen the bounce back from rock bottom and maybe
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  that's what they need. So food for thought before you
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  get involved, measure how much you're willing to get involved
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  and if you even want to get involved.
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  All right, my friends, I hope you have a blessed day and I
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  will see you all tomorrow. Bye.