Latest / Obnoxiously Pleasant / How to Say No to Social Obligations Post-Pandemic

Transcript

How to Say No to Social Obligations Post-Pandemic · Obnoxiously Pleasant

• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, and welcome to Obnoxiously Pleasant.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: My name is Lena and I'm Hanan.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: And this is our second episode.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you guys so much for joining us.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, today's episode is gonna be about life in the pandemic.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_01: The past year and a half has taught us so much.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_01: There are so many things that we have come to love, and there are so many things that we have come to hate.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, one of the things that we're gonna be discussing today is how to say no to social obligations, right?
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: And like what you're looking forward to now that life is back to normal, sort of normal.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: So what do you think?
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm I'm okay with life coming back to normal, but I am gonna miss some things.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I am not, you know, honestly, there are so many things.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: The last year and a half has been a struggle.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so what are what are the things that you hated?
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, what are the things that I hated?
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, just quickly.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm somebody who is like hyper-social.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_01: I am so extra.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, yes, she is.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_01: I felt like I get tired from her social calendar.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I just felt like I died a little bit on the inside.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like just every day was a day of me just dying a little bit slowly on the inside.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_01: Look, I love spending time with my family, it was wonderful, but I really draw my energy from spending time with people and my friends.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: And I really missed that.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's I saw her two times.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and one of them I sang happy birthday from out in the street.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_01: That's true.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: We should we should play that video.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: It was amazing.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: I blew up those balloons in myself.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: Literally, like I had to go to Target.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: I bought a helium tank, I blew up those balloons.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, she did.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: It was really sweet.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: And then and sang for me outside.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, honestly, it was her 40th.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: You know what?
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: That doesn't count.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: Anyone who celebrated a birthday during pandemic, that year just does not count.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: I know.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_01: I know it was it was really difficult.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_01: Honestly, that's for me.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_01: I really like thrive on social interaction, and that's something that I really missed.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: You know, in the beginning, in the beginning, like I was in denial.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, no, this is not why are people making a big deal out of it?
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: And then it's like, oh my god, I'm not gonna go to work.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I can't not go to work, like I can't get in my car and drive.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: And then three months into it, I'm like, you know what?
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe this isn't as bad as it was at first.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but yeah, like there's a lot, like like just not being able to see people.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I think for me, it was the the the kids being stuck at home.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I know we're speaking from a place of privilege, you know, we don't want to sound insensitive.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: There's people who actually like, you know, like lost these people who lost their jobs, you know.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_01: We're not trying to, you know, I am fully, I am not belittling or we are not belittling anyone's experience.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just, you know, just obscurely talking about my experience, your experience, and what life was like for me is very specific things, right?
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: So it was missing out on social interactions with my friends, something as simple as Lena said, you know, getting in the car, going to work, something that I did without even thinking every single day completely got taken away.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: Plus, the the idea you realize those things aren't really that important.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's true.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: You know, but like for me, the thing that was hardest is you know the kids just being at home all the time, not interacting with anybody, um, you know, not seeing their friends, and then online school.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: Online school.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like that.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: I think we can agree.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: High school.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes, yeah, that was you know what?
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_01: God bless those teachers.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_01: They're doing their best.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: They did their best.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_01: It was so hard.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_01: But yes, we should have school should have been canceled.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you know, the thing is, like, I did not give, I didn't give them a hard time.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like I told my kids just try your best, but I would, I I mean, they were already under too much stress.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it was.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, everybody, like we had to work from home, they had to go to school from home.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: So it was just, I I wasn't one of those parents.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, you have to do this.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I definitely didn't annoy the teachers.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, honestly, honestly, I will say, like, one thing that I really loved that I wish we would keep, like, as you know, in our post-pandemic life, is all of the like bloopers that we had with people on video chats before with kids.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_01: Like, my my little one walk by and just be like behind, like, you know, a team's call.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_01: My sister one time, it was really funny.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_01: My sister one time was trying to yell at her children and didn't mute her mic and instead yelled at her whole team.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: Oh and she comes back to the screen and everyone's like, and they're like, we saw another side of her.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_01: They were scared because they thought she was yelling at them.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, but that's that's kind of, I mean, honestly.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: So here's here's here's sorry, I don't want to interrupt you, but like I wanted to know, like, did you like because a lot of people picked up a lot of hobbies like baking and cooking?
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: Did you so you know?
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: I tried to bake one.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: You know what?
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_01: We gotta, we have to we have to address this.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_01: You said baking.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_01: I have a really funny baking story for you guys.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: So one of my really good friends, she is um, she's she also happens to be Palestinian.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, yeah.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_01: She's yeah, she's oh, in case you guys were what we didn't tell you last time.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_01: Lena's Palestinian American and I'm Egyptian American.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: So I just had to do that.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_01: Of course, you know, everybody knows.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, anyways, so um one of my friends who also happens to be Palestinian American is like an excellent cook, and she, you know, is a baker and stuff.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_01: My sister is an excellent baker.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_01: Na ja.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: So she comes, she drops off these muffins one time, and they were amazing.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: Talk about people like doing stuff during quarantine.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, this girl was constantly cooking, making stuff, making muffins.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I don't know.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: She drops off these like four ingredients banana, nut bread, whatever they were.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_01: They were delicious.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, okay, these little tiny muffins.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_01: My kids love them, I love them, my husband loved them.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: And so I was like, oh, send me the recipe.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_01: I don't bake.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_01: I don't, I cannot, for the life of me, follow a set of directions that I've got.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: You're a good cook though.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: I can cook, I just hate to bake.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_01: It's science and it's not me.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_01: I like you know, creativity.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: But you know what?
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: No, I did I did knafa.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and my kids just don't need it.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I think I have to revoke their Palestinian cards for that.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: But it was really good.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not just saying that, but like, you know, like I'm a good cook.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, and I'm I'm not a baker, but I I I decided to bake.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: What else am I gonna do?
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_01: That's that is that's very true.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, so I was like, Najash, send me the recipe, it's gonna be really so no other no so did she send it?
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: She sent it, but send me, I'm gonna tell you.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, phenomenal, right?
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_01: So she's supposed to uh like she's like it's so easy, just follow the directions.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_01: So it was literally four ingredients.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: I just threw in flaxseed.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_01: I threw in all this extra stuff.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_01: Why was it part of the recipe?
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: No, I thought it would be really just oh my god, never put flax seed in any recipe.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it was flaxseed, chaia seed, a bunch of nuts.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_01: But were they in the original recipe?
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: No, okay, no, needless to say, I brought my cake because I didn't have a cupcake tin.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: So I brought my cake to she didn't really like it.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: Nobody ate it, ended up going in the trash.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_01: But that's how I do as a baker.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_01: So that was not my hobby independent.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: So you know, you being an independent thinker, that's great in other situations, but not growing food.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: You can't do that.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: Not with rescue.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: So no other hobbies then?
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: You were just trying to survive.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so the other thing I wanted to ask you, well, what how was it?
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, we discussed kids.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: What about being a working mom?
• 6:53
  unknown: Oh my god.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_01: Whatever you want to do.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_01: We kind of touched on that.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_01: A working anything, like that was so hard.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_01: You know, when I think about it, I think about it's so difficult to have to try and be productive when you're under that much stress, right?
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I get it, like it probably was a lot more difficult for the folks who not probably, it was a lot more difficult for the folks who lost their jobs, you know, and their just just you know, the the way that their livelihood uh during the pandemic.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_01: But trying to sustain a level of productivity while you're under like this insane amount of stress with having your kids be home, your spouse is home, you guys are all worried and scared of the thing.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: Some people had to leave their kids at home because they were essential workers.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: So we discussed some of the things we didn't like.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, some of the things we didn't like.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: But like, what are some of the things that you're gonna miss um from lockdown or you know, just the whole experience?
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: Because I have something.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, I'm gonna miss working from home.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I'm still gonna get to work from home, but I so in in my previous lifetime, I'd worked from home for like five years, and it was the best five years of my life because I was the only one home and everybody else was at work.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_01: So it was great.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I will say that the last year and a half being at home, I realized how much I actually enjoy working from home and having that flexibility and like not losing three hours of my day in a city.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_01: In traffic, in traffic.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: See, that's the other thing.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: For me, like just going to work.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I live like what, 13 miles from the city, like from my place of employment.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and it would take me sometimes an hour to an hour, 15 minutes.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: So if you leave work at five or six, by the time you get home, 6:37, and then you have to make dinner, and then you have to sit and do homework.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I just don't know why I have to make dinner.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: That's a whole different topic for another episode.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, let's not get into that, but it's a good topic.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, um, but yeah, like that's just saving time.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, like I'm gonna miss my midday naps.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm not gonna lie, like if my boss is watching this or my coworkers, listen, it was my lunch break, and I'm not sorry, and I'm not gonna apologize.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: I took those midday naps.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: I will say, you know, honestly, okay, so we both Lena and I, the one thing that I like really, really speaking of midday naps that were essential.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_01: So both Lena and I observe Ramadan, right?
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, Ramadan was a blast.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: It was so much easier during the pandemic.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_01: Because honestly, I already struggle like with the no coffee.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: So can you imagine no coffee, no sleep, right?
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_01: You're extremely tired, and then you have to like commute to you and from work.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_01: No man.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_01: This was a blast.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_01: I love it.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I mean, it's gonna be hard adjusting to doing Ramadan next year without being that's true.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, but the other thing that I absolutely loved, and people are gonna think I'm crazy, is you know, just wearing, wearing the mask.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: Because I can go outside, you wear the mask, you wear some sunglasses, and nobody will know who you are.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: And you can look like trash Lena because she's so antisocial.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: She's like, I'm not completely antisocial.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_01: She's not, it's just not as I like the I'm collectively social.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_01: No, Lena is socializes in a closed circle.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_01: That's that's that's the best way to describe her.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, I mean, I know I like the mask too.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_01: I loved not being sick.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_01: I loved not getting sick.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like, thankfully, I was so glad.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I know that we were so lucky that you know we just didn't experience the sickness over the last year and a half, but it just like saved me from the flu, from the calm cold, from pink eye, a lot of stuff.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: Not pink eye.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: And then if you got pink eye, we're gonna have to figure out what's going on there.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um, the other thing is, and I and again, like if any of you guys are watching, I'm sorry, but like you know I don't like you.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: But going back to work and having to deal with annoying co-workers.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, honestly, I don't really have any coworkers that get on my nerves.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: No, I mean, some of them got on my nerves through email and Zoom, let alone face to face.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: But they know who they are and they know I don't like them.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: But that's it's fine.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: I'm okay with that.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't have a they know like what how I feel about it.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: No, y'all know that you got beef.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_01: No, I honestly know.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_01: For me, it's I I found that a lot of a lot of the folks I worked with, I I found that they had like an increased level of like productivity.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, for sure, for sure.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: All of us, I I don't think I've ever worked as much or as hard as I did.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: While working out.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, and and that's something I think they all loved.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_01: It's the folks that like didn't have to it really, it's the commute that kills people.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_01: Like in the DC metro area, it is the commute that kills the people.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_01: So the fact that, you know, you can wake up at 7.59 and be ready for, you know, an 8 meeting was phenomenal.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like there is an and it's what she means is you can get up at 7.59, stay in bed, roll over, and just join.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, most of the time I'm on camera.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_01: So you can't get up on Alex.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_01: I try I try to.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_01: Sorry guys, my camera's not working today.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I will say that like that's one thing I loved is that like you decide when you're working from home the level of like ready that you need to be, right?
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't I like I discovered my curly hair in quarantine.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_01: My hair literally is only done today because I got it done today.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_01: But it's really nice.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_01: I have to say that again.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but it's just I ended up discovering my curly hair and realizing, oh my god, I love this.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_01: That's like some of the things that I think I really loved about the pandemic, right?
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_01: Is really feeling not the pandemic.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: Well, the lockdown.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's probably a better way of describing it.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_01: About being home because of the pandemic.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes, yeah, yeah.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_01: But I love the fact that I it really made me realize the things that I didn't need on a daily basis.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_01: Like I didn't need, or even on a weekly or even on a monthly.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_01: Like I was doing my own manicures for a while.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: I I did my own pedicures, which is great.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like it's like I had to, like, I invested in some stuff.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: See?
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: I had to.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_01: But that's that's something so small.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_01: But I think it just makes me realize that, like, oh, you know, there are so many things that I needed to do around my house that now I have time.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I never did any of that.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: My pantry was organized.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to write that great American novel, never did that.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: No, I never wanted to.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: I just cooked and ate and gained weight.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I never wanted to write a novel.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_01: I just ate a lot too.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_01: I cooked, I was really bored by like week five or so of you know, doing the same thing over and over.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: I really wanted to go back to work uh in the summer, but then like the second wave hit, and I'm like, no, I'm good.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but the other thing that I'm totally okay with not dealing with is no hugs.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm okay with that.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: I prefer to.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a hugger, so I I miss that.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_01: So I miss that.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_01: But you know, I could see, I could see your perspective.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_01: Like, if you're somebody who likes your bubble, like I totally understand.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: I want my space.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I I again, again, it's a difference in how we like to socially interact with people.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: Our executive producer here is here.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: Her name is Baspusa, she's our cat.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: She's the cat.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: Well, she's Lena's cat.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: She might, she might come.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_01: I told you guys we come from like the glam, like, you know, this this is glam here.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_01: This is Lena's basement.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_01: Her son's talking in the corner, but we're pretending like that.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: She's whispering.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: She wants to eat.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, put her some put her some dry food.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: She's like so nosy.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: She's looking.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_01: She is really nosy.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_01: The one thing that really, I think, changed for us during lockdown or during the pandemic is your um like how you address social obligations.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, definitely.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, listen, guys, me, no, I'm just like, oh, this is a godsend.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: I know like it's so like I don't mean it to be disrespectful, but like I like for a year and a half, I just didn't have to give any excuses.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: It was perfect.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it was like, oh, I want to get COVID.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: Let's go out, COVID.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: Let's go to the COVID, COVID.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: That was Lena.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: That literally was Lena.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, that gets us to our final topic for this episode.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_01: Of course, I'm terrible.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_01: I can't remember anything.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, which is how to say no.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that is really important.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: Now that life is getting back to normal, we need to kind of figure out how to get back.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_01: I will say, honestly, the one positive thing about lockdown and specifically about social obligations is that it really kind of helped someone like me, someone who has like large social circles of people and lots of people that I know, and like really appreciate the folks who were close to me and really disassociate myself from folks that I was having a hard time doing that with.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_01: So it was lovely for me for those reasons.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry, I'm just smiling at the cat because she's like checking you out.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: She's my friend, she really loves me.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: She does, yeah.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: So what are like we want to discuss?
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like, there's five or six things here that I think could help people.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like, we want to offer you guys some advice.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe again, again, you're gonna give it, but I don't know if it's gonna be useful.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_00: No, we can try.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like, so if you're like me and you struggle with social obligations, because I definitely do, she doesn't.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: She knows so many people.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: I get tired, like I said earlier.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: She does get tired of my social calendar.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: Hearing about her social calendar.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I think one good way is to just keep it short.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: I think you and I be we've been such good friends because you totally get it.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm like, no, I can't.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: There's moments where Hanan will just go someplace.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: She wouldn't even tell me because she knows my answer is gonna be like, and I don't get mad.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: I don't get mad at bad.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: So I think the first thing is one one suggestion is to keep it short.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: Just say no, you can't, you know?
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, you don't have to don't you agree?
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_01: I can't.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, just like you know the problem is is that you don't seem convinced.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, no.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, no, no.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_01: No, I I am convinced.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_01: I think post post um I mean, you could be nice.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: You can say, unfortunately, I can't.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, post-lockdown, or like, you know, as as this um as as we come out of this uh pandemic, I really think that that has that has changed.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_01: That that is one of the things that I think really has drastically changed is social interaction.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, social interaction and how we do social interaction.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_00: But then there's still those annoying friends that aren't understanding.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: Of course.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_01: So those those friends were not understanding even during like the first wave and the second wave and every wave.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: So so I think the other thing is buying time.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: I think what you can say is uh No, I don't think you should do that.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: No, you can say, Let me check my calendar.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_01: That's true.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you can say let me check my calendar, you're supposed to be convinced here.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: Why aren't you supporting your friend?
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: I made this list, damn it.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_01: She's so organized about this, and I'm so like by the seat of my pants.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, that's what it's a nice balance.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, the third one, like I said, I'm the talent.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm kidding.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, she acts like it too.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, propose an alternative.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's the third option.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: You know, say you can't do it this time, but you know, why don't we do something in a couple weeks or let's go do this and set because there's some events or some outings that I'm not done with.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: So I'll suggest something else, or maybe the people that are going, I'm not really done with either.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_00: I agree.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: I mean I'm signing really high maintenance, by the way.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not.
• 17:33
  unknown: No, I'm not.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, she has a list for you guys.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, but what if someone keeps saying no?
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, if they can you say no, but they keep trying to get you uh to come.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: Clearly, they're not a good friend.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but like what do you do in that situation?
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: You just say, I'm not going.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_00: And what if they keep texting you?
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry, I'm not going.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: No, I just ignore, just drop it.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: Just give me like if you've said it enough times and they don't get it, just let it go.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: Just ignore.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: You get you get two replies in a text message, and then that's it.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm done.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: Do you count?
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I think the the what?
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: Do you count the text message?
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you know what I mean.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: Shut up.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think another one, and this is the um the fifth way of uh dealing with this, is no is not a bad word.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: No, I agree with that.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I agree with that.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_00: I think um, like you don't have to feel like you have to be nice to everybody.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_01: I just don't that I totally agree with because I think that some people I think people say people look, sorry, people look at the word no as a bad word, but no, no is actually a way to set boundaries with people and set boundaries for yourself.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_01: So I don't look at no as a bad word either.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_01: I agree with you on that.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: And then the final one, I'll let you do that one.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_01: If all else fails, blame self-care.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_01: I because she knows I'm all about it's all about self-care.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_01: I always say self-care equals self-love.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, don't be don't be upset if you have to say no to somebody, especially if that somebody is super persistent, because that's what people do.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_01: They're super persistent.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_01: So I think that's good.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's good.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's good too.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_00: So um are you just one question.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: Are you okay with going before we leave?
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: Are you okay with going to a movie theater now?
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I wasn't even going okay with going to the movie theater before.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_01: Before you know what?
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, it's funny you said that.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_01: I loved going to the movie theater during COVID.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_01: Because you rented the theater for yourself.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_01: When was this?
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_01: You didn't invite me.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_01: See, she didn't even invite me.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_01: I did it two times.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_01: Dude, that's something I would have liked to do.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_01: I did it two times.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_01: But one time it was like five other people, and then the other time it was with three of my coworkers.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_00: So it was um maybe the other people that you were with, I didn't like.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, you like them.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_01: They're fine.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you'll like them, they're fine.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_01: But it was a movie at night.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_01: She doesn't like to do anything at night.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_01: Let's it was like a 9 p.m.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna we're we're gonna have some words after this.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_00: For sure.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, I feel cheated on.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna see who you were not with, right?
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_01: It's very easy.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_01: They know who they are, guys.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_01: If you know who you are and you went at the movie theater movie, please like, comment, and subscribe.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_00: And save me.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: Are you doing a goodbye or am I doing a goodbye?
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: You can say goodbye.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: So we hope you enjoyed this episode.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_01: Um, what are we discussing next?
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, it's really interesting that we were just talking like five minutes ago about not five minutes, it's like two minutes, about um how to say no to people and putting boundaries and why no is not a bad word.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_01: So next week's episode is about toxic friends, right?
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_00: And then if you guys have a specific topic or issue that you want us to discuss, please feel free to send us an email or leave a comment.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I'd love to see in the email, and what I'd love to start dedicating a segment to is the emails that we get in response to episode from you guys.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_01: So if you can just be awesome.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_01: Like I would love to hear a solid pandemic story, right?
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_01: Or see send me like a blooper of like, you know, your kid, like see and saying hello to your boss, you know, from behind the the from behind the camera.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we want you guys to be a part of this.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_00: So if you have anything, please just send it to us.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think it would be really great.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and and if you're watching us on YouTube, you can leave a comment in the comment section.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_00: Let us know what was the worst uh part of the lockdown for you.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, what was the best part of the lockdown?
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_01: What was the worst part of the lockdown?
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_00: You know, yeah.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_00: I think we're we're good.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: Awesome.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_00: All right, see you guys next time.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for joining us.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's so fun.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_01: I love doing this.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we were just supposed to say just thank you.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, anyway, bye.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_00: Bye.