Latest / SisterSmart Leadership / 33: How to Design a Personal Board of Directors That Will Help You Rise into Senior Management
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker: When I say the word networking, most women either
- 0:02roll their eyes at me or groan.
- 0:04If you're feeling the same way, I have the most important
- 0:07episode of all for you here.
- 0:09Everyone's heard the phrase, your network is your net worth.
- 0:13Then why do so few mid career women have the robust network that will
- 0:17get them into senior management?
- 0:20McKinsey, even female CEOs have networks that are several times
- 0:26smaller than their male colleagues?
- 0:28and the numbers get even worse the farther down the ladder you go in my experience.
- 0:32So if men have this all figured out, why is this still something
- 0:36that women shy away from?
- 0:37In this episode, we are going to dig into some of the misconceptions
- 0:40that women have about networking and why a personal board of directors is
- 0:44important for every woman who wants to rise up into senior management.
- 0:48You are going to want to stay with me through this whole episode because
- 0:50I'll be talking about the essential mindset shifts that you need to take
- 0:55to be able to go from nay to yay when it comes to this important work
- 0:59and I will help you design your own personal board of directors to save you
- 1:03from going to networking events and having to talk to a room full of strangers or
- 1:07tooting your horn around the company.
- 1:09Jill Avey: I'm Jill Avey, a career success coach, and this is Sister
- 1:13Smart Leadership, the show that explores how women can rise from
- 1:16director to vice president and beyond by fully leaning into their feminine
- 1:21energy as their biggest advantage.
- 1:23Let's get you one step closer to the recognition and promotion you deserve.
- 1:28Speaker: I was at Columbia business school at a recruiting event.
- 1:30When I first heard a consultant talk about a personal board of directors,
- 1:34knowing this concept, I tried to apply it in my corporate career to make success.
- 1:39I did a lot of what I see my clients doing now, keeping in touch with
- 1:42only the people that I got along with well, because I had these few deep
- 1:46relationships and we got along great and they were really big supporters of mine,
- 1:51but my network was not broad enough.
- 1:53I would go to evening industry events, hoping I would meet someone
- 1:56that would be a valuable contact.
- 1:58But the thing is it was so hit and miss that I never met the people
- 2:01that I really needed to know.
- 2:02Sometimes I never even met anybody that was of value.
- 2:05So I tried attending conferences, hoping I would meet someone there
- 2:08that would be a valuable contact.
- 2:10Sometimes I would learn a lot from the conference, but I wouldn't come
- 2:12away really knowing somebody that I wanted to keep in touch with that was
- 2:16really going to help me in my career.
- 2:18It was more hope than strategy.
- 2:20And it's not what I recommend now.
- 2:22Now I guide my clients through a process where they identify the people that they
- 2:26need to build relationships with so that they're targeted in their efforts, not
- 2:30wasting time with people who aren't going to help them get where they want to go.
- 2:34And instead they build meaningful, lasting relationships with the
- 2:37ones who are in a position to help.
- 2:39Before we get into how to do that, let's first talk about our mindset
- 2:42when it comes to networking.
- 2:44the mindset that I most commonly see is women want to keep their head down and let
- 2:48their good work tell the story for them.
- 2:51They might be inconsistent in their efforts to develop
- 2:53and maintain their network.
- 2:55And maybe they meet once and they never reconnect.
- 2:58The thing is that they don't see networking as actual work.
- 3:01They see it as something that they do when they have the time, if they have
- 3:05the time, and they never get to it.
- 3:07They see it as self promotion or tooting their own horn, and that feels
- 3:10cheesy, sleazy, and gross to them.
- 3:13They think it's all about going to events and meeting random strangers,
- 3:16that hope strategy that I used to use.
- 3:19They aren't strategic or targeted about building a personal board of directors,
- 3:23and they don't understand how creating real relationships works when networking.
- 3:27So importantly, they never get to this work because they don't
- 3:30have their mindset about it.
- 3:32As I start our program, we shift to a new mindset.
- 3:34So instead, we can embrace building a strong network as an
- 3:38important piece of our visibility.
- 3:40When we think about it as visibility, that's really an
- 3:43important shift to make first.
- 3:46Visibility is crucial for getting promoted.
- 3:48And we need to understand that our work simply can't speak for itself.
- 3:53Like our work can't go out and tell the story that needs to
- 3:56be told about how it happened.
- 3:58And so we need to get that word out for us.
- 4:01And if you think about it, others are too busy to be paying attention
- 4:05to everything that we're doing.
- 4:07Even your manager cannot pay attention to every single thing.
- 4:10That every employee is doing that works for them.
- 4:13Even if they do it once, it doesn't mean that they're going to remember when
- 4:16the time is right, like review time or when they're talking about promotions
- 4:20in those rooms where you're not there.
- 4:22we need to provide the context and storyline to the work that we've done,
- 4:27ensuring that the right message is getting across to the right people.
- 4:30And so I really want you to reframe networking from sleazy self
- 4:34promotion to relationship building.
- 4:37This is an important mindset shift.
- 4:39And when you do this, it will open up a whole new world for you.
- 4:42When others understand your work and how it's helping them,
- 4:45they can do their job better.
- 4:47So this increases collaboration, better handoffs and improved performance for
- 4:51your relationships within the company.
- 4:53See networking as a valuable part of your future success.
- 4:57It makes everything go more smoothly and it paves the way for your next
- 5:00special project and it helps you build the advocates that you'll
- 5:03need for your next promotion.
- 5:05So we're going to be strategic about how we do this so that your time is well
- 5:08spent, not throwing spaghetti at the wall and hoping that something sticks.
- 5:12Your first step is to design your personal board of directors.
- 5:15Then once you know what seats you have on your board, you can start
- 5:19looking for the right kind of people that might fill those seats.
- 5:22It's kind of like dating when you're going to have to meet several people and get
- 5:25to know them and see if you click first before you have that final board member.
- 5:29It's a bit of a numbers game at first, so you're going to have to
- 5:32get out and talk to a lot of people.
- 5:34We do this process in the Sister Smart Leadership Program, and it's often
- 5:37the first time that somebody sat down and really thought about what kind
- 5:41of network they need and how they're going to build that network, let alone
- 5:45finding the time to do the outreach.
- 5:47So first let's talk about what a personal board of directors actually is.
- 5:51So it can be a formal or an informal thing.
- 5:54They may not know each other at all.
- 5:56They may not even know they're on your board of directors.
- 5:58My board doesn't know that I consider them my board of directors.
- 6:02They're just people that I keep in touch with.
- 6:04It can be very informal.
- 6:05So don't think about this as something fancy.
- 6:08But there are people that actually gather their board together and have them
- 6:12all meet and talk about their career.
- 6:14And so you can do it any way that you would like.
- 6:17Think about people that might be paid or unpaid.
- 6:19mostly we think about unpaid people when we're in networking, but also
- 6:23your coach counts as a person that might be on your board of directors.
- 6:26And maybe you have other experts that help you as well.
- 6:29It could be regular or ad hoc.
- 6:31So you might have some people who are consistent members of your board,
- 6:35and then you add in people for a certain promotion or a certain project
- 6:38or a certain time in your life.
- 6:40So we have different seasons for different relationships.
- 6:42And think about the people that are internally to your company
- 6:46and external to your company.
- 6:47Former managers are a great example of external people.
- 6:51And then your current manager would be a great example of your internal person.
- 6:54So you may have, a mix of both here.
- 6:57So Examples of board of director members would be an industry
- 7:02expert, like a researcher or an academic, people like that.
- 7:06Somebody who really brings a lot of knowledge to you.
- 7:09maybe a colleague at, you know, like in the same stage of life.
- 7:12It's great to have that peer that you can talk to about things
- 7:15and you can strategize together.
- 7:17That's a super helpful seat that I recommend to everybody.
- 7:20I also recommend to everybody your greatest cheerleader.
- 7:23This is an essential person to be on your board because you need that
- 7:26person who believes in you, that thinks everything you do is the greatest.
- 7:30Everyone needs that.
- 7:31But you also need your critic.
- 7:33if you can stomach it, your harshest critic is a great person
- 7:37to put on your board of directors.
- 7:38Some people choose their nicest critic instead, but it's really great to get
- 7:42somebody who will push back on you.
- 7:44Somebody who's a non fan of yours and somebody who will point out the
- 7:47things that annoy them about you.
- 7:50And that's pretty valuable feedback and we don't get that everywhere.
- 7:53So if you've got that kind of person, that's a great person to really
- 7:56develop that relationship with.
- 7:58And, you know, Sometimes you find out they're much more of a
- 8:00fan of yours than you thought.
- 8:02Also an expert in the area where you want to grow.
- 8:04So maybe you're going a certain direction and you're going to
- 8:07need to know new information.
- 8:08So knowing somebody who already has that information and you can tap
- 8:12into them of how they learned it.
- 8:14Someone who has access to resources that you need, maybe it's funding,
- 8:18or maybe it's people, or maybe it's other kinds of resources.
- 8:22So that's an excellent person to know, because maybe they can help you to be
- 8:27able to access those kinds of resources.
- 8:29someone who's older and younger.
- 8:32So we really want a diverse group of people in our network.
- 8:34And so if you have everybody on your network, that's, like minded and thinks
- 8:39just like you, that's, I think we all know these days that diversity is really adds
- 8:45a lot to to our way of thinking stretches us opens up our minds to other things.
- 8:50A connector who has a wide network and is willing to make introductions.
- 8:54can be very valuable.
- 8:56Someone who can help you understand how others perceive you.
- 9:00So this is often someone who is a kind person who is definitely
- 9:04in your court that is willing to speak up and let you know.
- 9:10how you're being perceived.
- 9:11This is a very special relationship that can take a lot of time to develop.
- 9:15A headhunter in your field.
- 9:16So there are external recruiters and internal recruiters, probably
- 9:20not going to be this, but there are external recruiters that may
- 9:22specialize in your particular industry.
- 9:25And these might be the kind of people that are interested in getting to know people
- 9:29within the industry, just to So that they are building their own network and they
- 9:34may not have anything for you right now, but they may be willing to get to know
- 9:37you in advance of having a role open.
- 9:40These people can, of course, be great for helping you to get that next job.
- 9:44A communications or a messaging expert is always a good person to know, as
- 9:49well as people who are great with tech.
- 9:51Someone who inspires you to think bigger.
- 9:53and inspires you to be you.
- 9:56So this is a really important seat on your board because you want that
- 10:00person who stretches and challenges you
- 10:02as well, an influencer in your field, getting to know people on LinkedIn and
- 10:06establishing yourself with a presence on LinkedIn is a great way to get
- 10:09to know influencers in your field
- 10:11and a role model.
- 10:12So a role model may be somebody that you know, or maybe
- 10:15something that you don't know.
- 10:16So it could be somebody that's in the public eye that you just respect
- 10:20and want to model yourself after.
- 10:22these are lots of different things.
- 10:24You may think of other seats on your personal board that that work for you.
- 10:28So you get to make it what serves you.
- 10:31And that's the important thing is really thinking about.
- 10:34What do I need?
- 10:35What do I want?
- 10:36Who are the kind of people I want to hang around with?
- 10:38Because you want these relationships to be important to you and to be people
- 10:42that you look forward to talking to.
- 10:45That's the key element here.
- 10:46So in the SisterSmart Leadership Program, we use this framework of a plot of land.
- 10:51So if you think about it, seeds are your dormant or weak ties.
- 10:55So these might be people that you knew in the past that you
- 10:57haven't talked to for a long time.
- 10:59Or people that you just, know really loosely.
- 11:01Maybe you've worked on a project together or you've met each other in passing
- 11:05or it was a vendor or people like that that you don't work with currently.
- 11:09So, weak ties are actually the most important connections in your
- 11:13network because they are the people who are going to bring you to
- 11:16people that you don't already know.
- 11:18Then think about the grass level.
- 11:20So this is where I like to put your colleagues, your allies, your
- 11:24customers, clients, current vendors.
- 11:27And then at the grass level, you may have some flowers sprout up.
- 11:30So these could be your mentors.
- 11:32And maybe you've got some trees that grow, a big, strong
- 11:35tree, and that's your sponsors.
- 11:38And so it takes time to cultivate all of this and to water it and give it some
- 11:44fertilizer and, tend the plants a bit and, pull out the weeds, the people that
- 11:49you decided you didn't really gel with and put those in the compost pile and.
- 11:54So this takes some time.
- 11:56So how do you manage all of this?
- 11:58So I would love to give you an example from one of my clients
- 12:01because I was really impressed with how how she organized things.
- 12:04So early in her career, my client Callie worked in consulting.
- 12:08So she had a large network and a natural tendency for keeping in touch.
- 12:12And I think she can be an inspiration for us all.
- 12:15When we worked together, she took the opportunity to evaluate her
- 12:18relationships and being in a leadership program really helped her to carve
- 12:23out that time that she hadn't taken while her career had grown and changed
- 12:26so she could update her system.
- 12:28So she broke her list into A, B, and C contacts and created
- 12:33a schedule for each level.
- 12:35She schedules monthly, 6 week and quarterly connects with her A contacts
- 12:40and sometimes she said they don't need a whole conversation but it
- 12:43allows her to keep in touch with them and have that check in time.
- 12:47And one of the things that I love is her yearly survey which she
- 12:50sends to her A and her B contacts.
- 12:52She sends a lovely email with a catch up of her year, and it has both personal and
- 12:57professional information and a few photos.
- 12:59So it's really fun to read.
- 13:00It never feels like a humblebrag email because she's so personal and infuses
- 13:05it with her warmth and her humor.
- 13:07The most creative part of her email is the link to her survey, which has questions
- 13:12on it that allows her to catch up with the people who take the time to fill it out.
- 13:16And it's really fun and different and I look forward to it every year.
- 13:20So Callie told me that she finds that many people that she might have
- 13:23otherwise written off because she hadn't heard from them in a long time, end up
- 13:26responding to her holiday email or survey.
- 13:29And so it helps her keep in touch with people that she would have
- 13:32maybe otherwise lost contact with.
- 13:34I think we all have people that we wonder about keeping in touch
- 13:37with that inner critic voice tells you that they just don't care.
- 13:40When actually they've just been busy.
- 13:42So her yearly check in allows people that avenue to keep the relationship going.
- 13:47Her advice to managing your network is to take a relaxed approach
- 13:51so it doesn't feel too heavy.
- 13:52And so you don't spend too much time on it.
- 13:54So whether you want to make it a formal process or not.
- 13:57By deciding that building your network is a valuable effort and creating the
- 14:00time for this on your calendar, you too can develop the relationships that you
- 14:05need to help you get your next promotion and have greater success in your role.
- 14:09No matter what level you're at now, no one gets to the top alone.
- 14:13And by intentionally investing in the right relationships, every
- 14:16step along the way gets easier.
- 14:19At the end of each episode, I like to give you three shifts
- 14:21that you can make today to start.
- 14:23taking action on what you've learned.
- 14:25The first shift that you can make is to check in with your mindset.
- 14:28Is your mindset in the old way of thinking or the new one
- 14:31that I brought to you today?
- 14:32What is one way that you can shift your mindset to this new
- 14:35way that we've just talked to?
- 14:37Your second shift is to start thinking about the relationships
- 14:40that you have already.
- 14:41Who are your go to people?
- 14:43Who would be on your A list?
- 14:45And the third shift is to identify one person that you
- 14:48would like to get to know better.
- 14:49Someone that could potentially be on your board of directors.
- 14:52Make sure to tune in to the next few episodes in season three,
- 14:55because we will be learning a lot more about developing your network.
- 14:58And you'll also be hearing from an inspiring leader who
- 15:01will share how she's done this.
- 15:02What has inspired you to take action in this episode?
- 15:05Share the next small step that you will take to start building
- 15:08your relationships with us.
- 15:10you're watching on YouTube.
- 15:11And if you're ready to start taking the next step in your career, how
- 15:15about joining the Sisters in Leadership community to help you get there?
- 15:18If you feel like this is the right time for your career to take off,
- 15:21Click the link in the show notes and set up a time for us to talk further.
- 15:25I offer a free 20 minute growth accelerator call where we can
- 15:28talk about where you are today.
- 15:30And I'll give you one actionable step that you can make to take step forward.
- 15:34If you want to dive deeper into women's leadership and how you can move up in
- 15:37your career, I hope you'll subscribe either on YouTube or wherever you
- 15:41listen to your favorite podcasts.
- 15:43I'm on a mission to help women get into leadership and stay there.
- 15:46And if that's aligned with you, I'd love to have you be part of this community
- 15:50and tune into more episodes on Sister Smart Leadership that will support you in
- 15:54becoming the leader that you want to be.
- 15:57If you're ready to fully lean into your feminine leadership and get promoted
- 16:00from director to vice president and beyond, hit that subscribe button so
- 16:05you'll get all the episodes to come and check out the recommended video here
- 16:09to see how women are rising up without playing by the old rules that built these
- 16:13male dominated industries and systems.